“When I say to be continued, I mean to be continued," "I have a French Exam." "I think you just passed it."" Hi I'm Danae and I love My Mad Fat Diary, Degrassi, eclare and rinn.
I think I gave him a shock, tbh. Like, he didn’t realise I liked him until that moment. Gonna have to kiss him MANY more times, just to get my point across
Much has been said about the innocence of the Heartstopper tv series since it premiered. In season one, there is no drinking, no smoking or drug use, no swearing (much to the irritation of those who just want Nick Nelson to say f*ck since he does so regularly in the graphic novels). There is also little sexual content, and nothing beyond hand holding and some pretty innocent kissing. But this doesn’t mean pleasure takes a back seat in the series, and sometimes finding ways to show physical attraction in subtle ways, leaving it up to the viewer to interpret, makes for an equally satisfying experience. I feel Heartstopper excels in this area, particularly where Nick and Charlie are concerned. There are dozens of these moments and I couldn't possibly mention them all, so I'll highlight my favorites. Feel free to add yours to the comments so we can all obsess discuss. Now, let’s dive right into episode two, where we see the first hints of how Nick’s feelings for Charlie are changing.
Nick seems fairly oblivious to start, but everything changes the day Charlie visits his house and he notices Charlie’s haircut. In the previous scene, Tori said Charlie’s hair looks the same, which leads us to believe that Nick is a little hyper-focused on Charlie's appearance, at least enough to notice a subtle change in his hair length. He doesn’t hesitate to reach out and play with Charlie’s curls, and when Charlie asks if it looks bad, Nick starts to blurt out that Charlie looks good, before he catches himself, looks Charlie up and down, then corrects to say the haircut looks great. Subtlety is not a skill Nick Nelson has mastered.
We've all talked a lot about the scene in which Charlie tries to teach Nick how to play the drums, but it’s a turning point for Nick and I think it needs to be mentioned. My favorite part of the scene is when Charlie grabs Nick’s hands and starts tapping out the beat. They’re squished together on that little stool, Charlie’s hands tightly gripped around his own, and when Nick finally breaks his gaze away from their hands and looks at Charlie, the realization that something is different is clear on his face, even if he hasn’t quite put all the pieces together yet. I love the parallel between their hands touching in this scene and the next.
In the next scene, we see that Nick and Charlie have been sitting on the couch watching movies. Nick seems a little tired when he looks over to see that Charlie has fallen asleep next to him. Perhaps his defenses are down because of the late hour? We see everything start to slowly click into place in Nick’s mind. He starts by smiling fondly at Charlie but quickly lowers his gaze to Charlie’s mouth. His own mouth opens a little and he looks back up at Charlie, considering.
They are alone, the room is cozy and quiet except for the movie playing softly in the background, when we see Nick looking at Charlie’s upturned hand, practically asking to be held. Nick can’t resist hovering his hand over Charlie’s in this safe space. While the first experiment is short, Nick looks at Charlie’s mouth again after the first pass of his hand over Charlie’s, and he can’t resist going back for more. On the second pass, he holds his hand over Charlie’s for a much longer time, soaking up the imagined feeling of what it would be like to lower his hand just a little bit more and slot their fingers together. Is he remembering what it felt like when Charlie’s hands covered his own when they were sitting at the drum kit?
By the end of the scene Nick knows what he’s feeling, and what’s fascinating is that even after everything that’s happened so far, he doesn’t make excuses and run for the door, yet. Instead, he and Charlie have a lengthy goodbye and a spontaneous hug before Nick finally begins to panic and leaves.
We see a similar sizzle and fizz in episode three when Nick and Charlie are alone in the ballroom and have their first kiss, which is just as tentative and soft and sweet as anyone could have wished for. But while I adore their first kiss, it’s the second kiss that truly shows the physical attraction between them. This second kiss is more passionate, less controlled, and a little messier than the first. They now know they like kissing each other, but it’s too new and exciting to worry about technique and how their mouths fit together. This kiss is full of want, and while it’s still pretty innocent by tv standards, we can see how different this is than their first nervous kiss. Charlie’s hand cups Nick’s face before they kiss, then Nick pulls Charlie in closer by his shoulder. Mid-kiss, Charlie fists his other hand in Nick’s shirt, and when this kiss ends, Charlie’s hand slides down so he’s gripping Nick’s shirt in both of his hands. They don’t separate right away after this second kiss and while we can see Nick is a little shocked and awestruck, the panic doesn’t settle in until he hears Harry’s voice.
The morning after the party, there’s an entirely different tension between our boys when Nick shows up unexpectedly at Charlie’s house. Neither is sure how the other is feeling since Nick ran off after their kiss the night before. When they retreat to Charlie’s room, we see Charlie looking at Nick as he takes off his rain-soaked sweatshirt. This isn’t the first time Charlie has seen Nick’s body; they’re on the rugby team together and we’ve seen Nick without his shirt in the changing room before practice. But that isn’t a safe place to look at another boy’s body, especially not for an out gay kid like Charlie. While the circumstances are not ideal, Charlie can’t help but look in the privacy of his own room. Of course Charlie being Charlie, he quickly averts his eyes when he catches himself looking, adding to the guilt weighing on his mind.
Thankfully, Nick and Charlie are back on track the next morning and this time, they can barely (read: cannot at all) contain their excitement when they see each other in form the next morning. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to watch them say hi to each other without smiling like a fool – and happily so! A few hours later, we find Nick waiting for Charlie in Mr Ajayi’s art room. Charlie pokes fun at Nick for saying he missed him after only four hours apart, but honestly, if you are Charlie Spring, you are probably bursting with joy hearing the boy you like say this to you! The boys are still all smiles as they banter and tease, and Charlie pulls Nick’s hand to his under the table. This is all really new, and scary for Nick especially, but it’s also exciting and fun, and joyful. They are simply happy to be alone together, to be able to openly flirt and smile and touch, however secretly, in the sanctuary of the art room.
I’m running out of room for gifs so I’m going to skip over episode five, since I went into great detail about the arcade scene in another post, and move right on to my favorite episode in the series, Girls. So much happens to advance Nick and Charlie’s relationship in episode six, it almost – almost – could have been a happy season finale.
We first see Nick and Charlie spending time together on a blanket in the park with Nellie. Nick asks Charlie about how he knew he was gay and it’s clear he’s trying to work through his uncertainty about his sexuality. I love how this scene opens because we’ve just seen Nick have his big Pirates of the Caribbean moment, after which he watched the vlogger talk about bisexuality. But now he’s ready to open up a little bit more to Charlie. He asks him questions and includes him in the conversation. He doesn't divulge much, yet, but this is the first time we’ve seen them openly discuss it, and it feels like a big step that they’ve reached this point.
When Nick gets frustrated with himself, Charlie tries to lighten the mood and takes his hand before asking Nick if he wants to kiss under the guise of helping him figure things out. This moment is so adorable and soft it makes my toes curl, but I also think it shows how comfortable they’ve become with casual physical intimacy.
After some playful banter, Nick reaches out for Charlie’s hands and pulls him back down to the blanket. They’re out together in public, tucked in next to an old tree for a little privacy. And while Charlie initially looks around before taking Nick’s hand, and their almost-kiss is interrupted before it starts, the lead up to the kiss sparks with attraction. Nick looks like the only thing he wants in the entire world is to kiss Charlie, which is understandable because Charlie looks absolutely kissable!
When I started planning this post, I was only going to focus on this next scene – in which Nick and Charlie are doing their homework in Charlie’s room – because it is packed with little moments that show how much these boys are attracted to one another, but also how far they’ve come in their relationship. So let’s dig deep into all of my favorite moments.
We start off with a beautiful, long shot of Charlie watching Nick. What I love most about this scene is how much time Charlie is given to simply look at Nick and appreciate the physicality of him. In the graphic novel, Nick is caught staring at Charlie in this scene, but I actually prefer that they changed the point of view in the tv series. We’re given ample opportunity to see Nick’s soppy love face (my favorite thing in the entire world, to be honest) throughout season one, and a lot of the focus is on Nick’s journey. But Charlie is on his own journey, and I think it’s important that he’s given the screen time here. In addition to leveling things up a little bit, I think this scene in particular has special significance for Charlie.
Charlie is an out, gay boy, the only one in his entire school. He had a sort-of relationship with Ben for a few months, but it was always clandestine. They met in the shadows to kiss occasionally but they weren’t boyfriends. Ben never came to his house. Ben never acknowledged knowing Charlie in front of anyone. Their relationship was limited to secret rendezvous in dark corners, only on Ben’s timeline and on Ben’s terms. Even though Nick and Charlie are tucked away in Charlie’s room, and they aren’t out to the world as a couple, they have established a relationship by this point and have talked about how much they like each other. As Charlie said in the art room in episode four, it is completely different than it was with Ben.
So it’s because of this that I’m thrilled that Charlie gets to have focus in this scene. The guy he likes so much is in his room, casually doing his homework, and Charlie is given all the time in the world to just stare and appreciate how attractive he finds Nick. The lighting highlights Nick’s entire body, not just his face, and Charlie just stares and stares and lets his mind wander. He twiddles with his pen and just keeps on looking, and it gives the viewer time to wonder what he’s thinking.
Even after Nick catches him staring, and Charlie’s eyes flick back up to Nick’s face, it takes Charlie a second to get a hold of himself. Then he tosses his pen at Nick to break the tension. In reality, it’s only seven or eight seconds before Nick looks up and sees Charlie watching him, but in a 22 minute episode, every second counts. It feels like a conscious decision to show that it’s a perfectly normal, wonderful, and exciting thing to be able to simply look at the person you’re attracted to and take the time to savor it.
But of course, the scene that makes me feel Nick and Charlie’s attraction deep in my bones comes next, after Nick tells Charlie he told Tara and Darcy they’re going out. Charlie’s face is a mix of disbelief and joy when he tackles Nick to the floor. Nick gives Charlie the most bewildered look when Charlie breaks their kiss to ask him if he’s sure he wanted to come out to the girls. When they begin to kiss again, Nick flips Charlie over so Charlie is underneath him, completely wrapped up in him, then dives back in for another kiss.
The viewer doesn’t see a lot of actual kissing in this part of the scene, but the boys’ body language – Charlie’s arms tightening around Nick’s body, his fists bunched in Nick’s sweatshirt – shows the viewer how different and intense these kisses are. The rest is left to our imagination.
Sometimes people like or reblog old posts of mine or posts I had reblogged and I look at them and the tags and begin the drowned in the emotions they give me. Yes, my tags make me emotional! It's because eclare is my kryptonite and I will never stop loving them!
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
blakekathryn
ellievsbear
gummygunk
