Following the extensive, although empowering and often upsetting conversation regarding sexual assault/harassment/abuse, I am posting this bold image in reminder that rape culture does not end by persons (most often women, femmeās & themās) speaking out and suddenly, the toxicity of this culture vanishes because the world is eyeing down abusers and those accused while in turn, this highlights the bravery and strength of a victim/survivor. It ends by you, every single one of you taking action with calling out the people you know who indulge in any behaviour circulating rape culture and abusive behaviour. I am sick and tired of people hearing about their friends, their co-workers, their family.. anyone they know being called out for their extreme, garbage behaviour pertaining to these subjects and using the shrug emoji as response. You may not have committed the act or crime, but you are just as bad as your friend and the person you know if you choose to remain a bystander of their behaviour, take their side or remain neutral to the situation. Rape culture does not end by you saying āwell i didnāt say it/do it soā¦ā and it certainly doesnāt end by you also saying āiām really sorry to hear that, but i choose to not take sidesā. As a matter of fact, often people who respond this way choose their ideal route and preference of remaining friends or in relations with said person and disregarding the survivors speaking out as well as their suffering. It is not up to the victim and/or survivor of their circle to empathize with abusers. If you care about your friend and humankind, make it your priority to help this person learn from their incredibly poor, hurtful actions which are unforgettable to the survivor. I promise you, this is next to impossible for the survivor to help the abuser do - even in the calmest, most private, considerate of ways - abusers next-to-never want to listen to, let alone receive offerings of help from the person they have harmed. I am speaking, mostly, from personal experience in this regard. If it means stress, frustration, re-explaining, pursuit of therapy, removing yourself from their life and so forth - I can assure you, the victim has gone through much worse and continues to go through worse by you remaining complicit while they work through the sufferings, healing and everything to come with forever being reminded they have been raped, abused, harassed maybe not once, twice, or three times but 10, or 20, in my case and many peopleās cases - a number I canāt remember. The colossal aperture for taking responsibility and accountability for rape culture is seriously, your shitty friends. This revolves around the act of rape, joking about rape, street harassment, victim blaming, slut shaming, general sexist/misogynistic chat to promote violent/masochist/dominant or humour-filled conversation between you and another individual or a group of individuals, accusing survivors of lying or over-exaggerating their rape (you were NOT there during their rape and their feelings are completely valid regardless of the excess of the rape), online harassment, you and your buddies making jokes about raping each other promote rape culture. Do not use the excuse of it being āharmlessā or funny because itās jokes between you and your dude friends. You directly add to the problem by continuing to believe it is humorous and simply, ājust jokesā. I can assure you again, it wouldnāt be so hysterical if you heard your friends making the jokes about your sister, your brother, your mom, your partner, someone you love and then it actually happening. There is truth behind every joke. Something often not discussed regarding participating in rape culture has to do with social media, and itās own casual ālikingā, āfriendingā, ācommenting" culture. A person may decide not to be actively friends with a said abuser through in-person interaction, but they continue to keep them around on social media - even liking, supporting, commenting on, and re-sharing their posts - while knowing the said abuser promotes rape culture. The list of elements pertaining to rape culture is endless. Many of you who may not know how much of it you actually contribute to. - Learn about it. - Learn from it. - Educate yourself. - Ask a survivor politely, with consent and comfortability for sake of learning and wanting to understand. - Do your research. When you do these things you can then globalize your awareness of rape culture, unlearn (although through immense difficulty) and work on and work through your behaviour, discover where your behaviour comes from (abusers are not born abusers - this if often correlated to past abuse they have received themselves, abusive behaviour the perpetrator has witnessed, developmental trauma, neglect as a child, substance abuse and so forth), you can then practice ethical politics and help lobby your community. Most of all, when you recognize it - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. The more you are willing to help disperse of a horrible culture and educate yourself on how to do it, the more likely it is to happen. Disregarding the shitty, absurd and ongoing behaviour makes you directly complicit in allowing people to get hurt and remain hurt. Please, speak the fuck up and be of offering to those in need of help - both the survivors and the abusers. The culture never ends without the the person in position to abuse to be taught otherwise. We all have a part to play in allowing rape culture to existātherefore, we can all do something to eradicate it.
prguitarman
stormborns
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
