HEY i’m one big queen !

mid-20s ♡ Black lesbian womanist in stem

[shellfishmademoiselle]

your task, White Tumblrina, is to make a ✨Vibey✨ playlist with at least five different women of colour. there must be no more than two ( 2 ) boygenius songs. this also includes each member’s solo career. it also must contain no more than two mitski or japanese breakfast songs. you must comb through your streaming platform of choice and look for female artists of colour on your own, without outsourcing the search to your token biwoc friends by asking them to spoonfeed u their recommendations. you also must listen to this playlist on a regular basis and recommend it to your friends, just as you would with your other less diverse playlists. good luck

[shellfishmademoiselle]

hi everyone. wish this update were good but it’s not unfortunately (but i’m safe and don’t need any like. immediate serious attention; i have food and a roof over my head) well, the good news is i finally ran across a (female) gi specialist who has gone above and beyond for me, like to the point of contacting her former coworkers to see if any of them can help me w finding care that will accept my Poor People Insurance. i’ve been trying to obtain a dysautonomia diagnosis but it has been nothing but road blocks every step of the way and i’m running out of steam. no one accepts Poor People Insurance anywhere except like. fly-by-night weirdos who literally commit medical malpractice when i go see them (which happened recently.) everywhere else has exorbitant selfpay costs that i can kinda afford once but not for the sustained care i need. the good gi doctor went over my test results with me; on top of the technically unconfirmed dysautonomia i’m severely anaemic and my circulatory system has called in reinforcements in the form of Every Fucking Platelet In My Whole Body. (which is probably why my symptoms are getting worse lately.) she says that my body is in a ‘state of chronic distress and malnourishment’ despite my apparently fruitless attempts to make it. Not. she says it’s so bad that i need both an upper AND lower endoscopy like yesterday. but we can’t find anyone who will take the Poor People Insurance and do them so my bad days are getting more frequent and also worse. she called me twice in a row to tell me that her connections can’t help because they don’t take my insurance. and on top of all this i’m confined to my room all day every day 24 sev both because it’s a tossup as to whether or not i’m well enough to leave and because i live w two stupid ahh males and one of them doesn’t bathe and can’t read and the other intellectualises every emotional concern i approach him with. and my room is the only place they never step foot in. i’m not in danger of offing myself or self-harming or any other destructive behaviour but i AM probably the most miserable i’ve ever been outside of two decades of living w my m*ther. i feel trapped. i miss all y’all but the vibe has changed on tumblr overall, at least on the side of it i’m seeing, and it no longer feels like A Safe Harbour Where My Friends Live and more like being a ghost among the living so idk when i’ll be back . sorry

[shellfishmademoiselle]

hate it when you’re having a spicy debate that requires picking sides and someone pipes up with the ‘both are good :)’ . [Extremely Loud Incorrect Buzzer].

it’s aries season. pick a side and throw some fukin punches or hit da bricks. Can’t hang with da big dogs stay on the porch!!!!

[shellfishmademoiselle]

it is. So funny to me that gen xers somehow HAVE to announce themselves as such immediately upon meeting you and always start their sentences with 'as a gen x' because it's like.....ok let's take stock here. you're wearing a 30 year old liz phair shirt that you got when she dropped exile in guyville in 1993 with a rip on the side that you insist was Meant To Be There and NOT due to age and wear. your keys have no less than 2 troll doll charms and they are on life support. they're CRYING for death. your car has a bumper sticker that said 'FIGHT THE POWER ✊🏽' Once Upon A Time but it's so weathered that it says 'IGHT TH OW' instead. you have a god-awful ''''tribal''''' tattoo on your wrist and leopard spots on the ball of your shoulder and a big fuckass rolling stones logo slap in the middle of your upper back with 'can't get no satisfaction' under it in the sailor tattoo font. all of these are somehow blown out AND faded because you got them from a kitchen scratcher at 17 and never looked after them properly because 'sunscreen is for babies.' there's a 35-pack of diet coke in your kitchen, another two 12-packs in your car and you're holding a half-drunk diet coke right now and when i blink it will be empty. so like. Yea i can tell . you don't need to announce it

[shellfishmademoiselle]

who up feeling Ennui and perhamps a hint of sadness . Clik like

[shellfishmademoiselle]

oh yea? ur a so-called ''''high femme'''''? who's your manicurist and what's ur go-to shape and colour when you see her and don't know what to get. name 5 other acrylic nail shapes not including ur preferred one and 5 gel polish finishes. exactly that's wtf i thought. Sit down

[shellfishmademoiselle]

dang . Bodied

[shellfishmademoiselle]

oh yea? ur a so-called ''''high femme'''''? who's your manicurist and what's ur go-to shape and colour when you see her and don't know what to get. name 5 other acrylic nail shapes not including ur preferred one and 5 gel polish finishes. exactly that's wtf i thought. Sit down

[shellfishmademoiselle]

told da chat abt my burning hatred for the 🥹 emogie and other people were also chiming in hating it, because i'm always right, and then some weenie baby oatmeal cookie ahh clearly did not Understand The Assignment OR read the room and piped up with 'i love it and use it all the time :( i cry a lot' damn thats crazy........... aaaaand now ur blocked:) Mlahhhhhh

[shellfishmademoiselle]

lately i’ve been wondering wtf it is that makes The Boston Irish™ so fuckin evil. cos there are a ton of irish americans in chicago and milwaukee and baltimore and philly over here and they’re like. Normal. EYE cant speak for the irish americans in the midwest but here they’re abrasive and loud like most irish americans lol but in fact very friendly and will give u the shirt off their back if u need it . its just that like. they will kick u if u get in their way u feel me ? esp philly!irish. but a boston irish american surely wld NEVER do the same and also probably pick on u for not having a shirt. but why ? wtf is in the water

[shellfishmademoiselle]

no cos its getting out of hand now. if i’m not #cuffed by the end of next month i’m Actually abandoning aquatic bio and throwing it all away to join the convent up the street. i would literally rather be A Woman of God than go thru this fuckass dry spell any longer

[shellfishmademoiselle]

in 2026 i’m ragebaiting people who ask if im wearing a bra and are weird abt me not wearing one. How’s it taste motherliquor

[shellfishmademoiselle]

‘heyyy pookie i just wanted to ask…..umm….are u wearing a bra? 😬 it’s not appropriate to go without one 😬😬😬’

well are YOU wearing a bra?

‘what? yes–‘

mmmm idk it really seems like you’re not :/ that’s super unprofessional of you you should go put a bra on. sorry it’s just – you really shouldn’t go round not wearing a bra especially in public. you do realise everyone can see all that and can tell you’re braless right? i’m just saying 😬

[shellfishmademoiselle]

in 2026 i’m ragebaiting people who ask if im wearing a bra and are weird abt me not wearing one. How’s it taste motherliquor

[shellfishmademoiselle]

and on that note i am extremely frustrated and baffled as to why seemingly every Gay Period Drama romance is a fucking Slow Burn. why is it ALWAYS Meaningful Glances and Hand Brushes and Suggestive Murmuring. were messy lesbians w instant (often ill-fated) chemistry who jumped into the whole thing headfirst and did fwbs and situationships and uhauling just not invented until right now or what because if you said yes i'd find that very hard to believe given that anne lister and most importantly natalie barney and the belle-époque parisian lesbian scene existed. literally ALL of the parisians were messy as FUK and every woman in that scene experienced and did all 3 of those things i listed no less than twice and like clockwork, at any given time, there were at least 5 simultaneous relationships among them that were immediate sparks, 10 hours of scissoring All Day Every Day and then crash and burn 6 weeks later. if it even lasted that long because colette and natalie barney's respective flings sure didn't lol. but no one wants to make biopics abt them or write historical romances with that vibe. why is the default '400 year slow burn' and why am EYE seemingly the only one who wants a quicker pace. gtfo of here with your Stolen Glances i'm tryna see some fingering bro

[shellfishmademoiselle]

i have to speak my truth. We As A People need to talk abt the Sarah Waters (or sarah wooders, as we call her here in the mid-atlantic) Fangirl Industrial Complex i think . it is truly mystifying to me how sarah waters has amassed such a rabid passionate following esp on here most of her work is literally all the Fucking same. Waifish White British Woman Has Self-Discovery And 55 Torrid Heartbreaks And Cries A Lot. and all the romance is slow as fuk. idgi

[shellfishmademoiselle]

now that My Time (aries season) is nigh i've decided i'm going to come on here EXCLUSIVELY when i have a hornet's nest to smack. So heyyyyy 😜

[shellfishmademoiselle]

if i were in prison with joan whateva from The Upside Down British Prison Show i wld square up and absolutely swing first too. 'oh but shellfish she's 6' and really strong she'd end your life on sight !' ok well first of all, most of the women in my m*ms ext family are no shorter than 5'11 like my m*ther and i are the SHORTEST at 5'8 and 5'9 respectively so she's really not that scary to me in that regard especially if i sneak in my demonias as contraband. and that seems to be like at least 45% of her Intimidation Factor so she's already losing hp there . and the other part seems to be her communication style. Ohhhh you have a raspy voice and you growl your words when you're mad and you make super intense eye contact. Big deal i can do that too and also you won't be making super intense eye contact for long because yea you have a few inches on me with height but i'm still tall enough to gouge your eyes out with my indestructible stiletto nails. yes she's super strong and i come from a long line of greyhound-shaped women and our centres of gravity are high and flimsy but i'm an aries and we dgaf how much bigger and badder our opponents are we're still going to Attack. i may not win but y'all will KNOW i was there . Thank u

and also @ joan pull up to the dunks parking lot rn.

[shellfishmademoiselle]

everyone at da big house is terrified of her and i’m just like. Girl get some demonias or platform docs she’s banking on using her height to intimidate you. put on some platforms and bam now you’ve Thrown Her Off Her Rhythm . It’s literally THAT easy idk why all y’all are cowering before her 🙄

[shellfishmademoiselle]

whoever established the convention of making burgers just Come With P*ckles On By Default so you have to ASK to remove them needs to count their mfin days . burger places don’t even do what other places do with other ingredients that taste bad like ‘do you want x on your y ?’ no . They just slap those thangs on there cos that’s the default for some reason. and when you forget to ask for no p*ckles or the restaurant accidentally doesn’t remove them it’s no use removing them yourself cos the rancid fuckin Saltsour Juice they spawn in has already seeped into the bun AND burger so the whole damn thing is ruined . God i am SO ready for this P*ckling Everything craze to die whatever happened to eating just. regular ahh Not P*ckled Veggies!!!!!