"Goodbyes are bitter-sweet. But it's not the end, I'll see your face again" 🕊️
Today is October 26th, 10 days since Liam passed away.
After thinking about it a lot, I went to CasaSur (the hotel where everything happened) to pay my respects.
And I’m so incredibly grateful to @anchorandrope, a friend I made through the 1D fandom a few years ago. Without her, I wouldn’t have found the strength to go (and I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life).
It is only now, as I write this, that I am able to process what happened. I keep thinking about how, years ago, I used to write letters to celebrate the band’s birthdays, and now I’m writing letters to say goodbye to one of them.
It's painful. It's painful to have been just a few metres away from where Liam was last seen alive, far from his family and loved ones.
Deep down, I’m still hoping that someone will say it’s all a misunderstanding, a bad joke, a fake news story made up to scare people.
Thinking back on all my years in fandom, all the moments brought me joy, but now they are just painful memories that will never be repeated, and nothing will ever be the same.
I’m happy I got to see him three times, twice this year and once with 1D. But I never could have imagined that just three weeks ago, I was happily singing “History” with him at the top of my lungs at Niall’s show, and now it's just a memory that brings tears to my eyes.
I could write so much more, pages and pages filled with words, but I feel that even a thousand of them wouldn’t be enough to capture all the pain that runs through me and the immense impact Liam had on my life.
"I met you when I was 11, and you were 19. Now I’m 23, and you’ll always be 31".
I will be eternally grateful. Thank you for everything, Liam.
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