it goes on and on and never ends

salvation or condemnation?

[shenenenigans]

BANG this is officially nene side blog… this is another @/junebluues side blog for alien stage ocs!!!! nene is so special she gets her own yippee!!!!! follow for. shenenenigans. ik thats too many n’s but. im not changing it.

[shenenenigans]

update i got two more lil guys now

[shenenenigans]

There is always a price for freedom.

We are chained by our weaknesses.

Leave your big dreams behind.

When you let go,

only then

can your soul can truly be saved.

Lose your humanity,

then freedom

and salvation

will be yours for the taking.

[shenenenigans]

just the hands if anyone wants it

[shenenenigans]

There is always a price for freedom.

We are chained by our weaknesses.

Leave your big dreams behind.

When you let go,

only then

can your soul can truly be saved.

Lose your humanity,

then freedom

and salvation

will be yours for the taking.

[shenenenigans]

Connection found.

Would you like to send a message? > [YES] [NO]

dearn uma,

i dont h ave much time i think yo u may not be able to se e this messa ge intiime but i need you to know that i am ali ve and that everything is okay and no mat ter what happ ens you need to lea ve that stage and run farfarfar far away fromthere its not safe you are not safe

they are out t he re and they are going to find

you

they are ali ve and they are g oing to find you please mak e sure your death is peaceful andAWAY FROM THEST AGE

i'llmake sure. everyone. knows

Nen e

Message sent from NOCT’s personal device. Please select your next action or turn off the device to preserve power.

[…]

YOU HAVE SELECTED [SEASON 40 Broadcast Channel.] THERE IS AN ALTERNATE DEVICE CONNECTED TO THIS CHANNEL.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO OVERRIDE? THIS ACTION CANNOT BE UNDONE. > [YES] [NO]

[[SEASON 40 ANNOUNCEMENT BROADCAST OVERRIDDEN.]]

[…]

Now entering a live broadcast as [NOCT]. Please wait…

[shenenenigans]

shout out to numa who is #notdead

everyone be prepared for my spring break i have stuff planned

[shenenenigans]

numa lore tmr. live laugh love i guess hi king

[shenenenigans]

round 4 | bloom

this is lowkey incoherent sorry. all of sirius’s thoughts in round 4. i spat out words on a page no editing no nothing idk anymore. also warning for typical sirius flower body horror i guess it’s barely there though good luck soldiers

@apriciticreveries @aakaneeee @4listr @rockwgooglyeyes @starry-skiez

@verdantlights @awaggaa @nottoonedin @bluemoonscape @paradisedisconcert

sirius isn’t human. sirius barely exists. barely breathes. when they step onto the stage, they know this is true.

part of their brain knows what they’re doing is wrong. sirius still pushes anyway. for what they want. what they need. even if it hurts.

humans can’t win. humans will always lose. mankind has already lost everything. their power, their love, their gods, their dignity. in this world, humanity can no longer be attributed to humans. humans are pets. no better than those wild dogs from old tales that have since been erased from the universe, gone without a trace.

the aliens on this planet do not dream of life. the aliens on this planet long for death. they long for control, for other races to sink below them. their status rises more and more for every human life squashed by their hands. 

this is why, sirius thinks, that they are not a human. sirius takes and takes and takes. every life taken and transformed by them has become steps of a staircase leading to their newly found authority. the aliens will look up to sirius. sirius could burn them all, alien ashes spread like petals across the ground they walk on.

the world is blurry around the corners of their eyes. every step they take is wobbly, and yet they only turn further away from their opponent. when sirius feels a hand stretch out toward them, they nearly leap to avoid it. no, they won’t be saved. there’s no need to be saved. they’re right where they want to be.

sirius drops to their knees. the song hasn’t ended. the lights haven’t begun to fade. a red flower petal claws its way up their throat, painting the ground as it falls from their parted lips. everything shakes. 

it’s cold. a shiver runs through sirius’s whole body. they spit out more petals. 

and finally, it happens.

their lower back bursts open with vines. stems of flowers explode from where they’ve been implanted into sirius’s body so long ago. it stings, a little bit.

are you happy now? a voice rings in their head. can you feel it now? do you understand it now?

yes. yes, they’re happy. of course. always. sirius is happy. but—

are you proud of yourself?

do you see what you’ve done?

the people you’ve hurt, do you see them now?

our voices, can you hear us now?

deep down, her consciousness speaks to her. she’s afraid.

for the first time in a long time, sirius chokes out a sob. she collapses on the floor, the icy ground striking straight through her heart. she rolls over, gazing up at the bright lights of the stage.

it looks like the sun.

when she turns, she sees the crowd. lightsticks are everywhere.

it looks like the stars.

tears well up in her eyes when she looks at her opponent, dante, after avoiding him this entire time.

it’s over, now. sirius will wake up in noct’s laboratory next. sirius will stare at the dead bodies of helia, hanno, and ambys and she will hear their voices. she will feel the weight of her sins crush at her shoulders.

i’m sorry i’ve been so stupid. i’m sorry i couldn’t see reality. i thought this experiment would fix everything. but what good will it do now? i am my monster. i wanted to create my own humanity. i wanted to own. to control. i wanted to feel. i wanted to create. i wanted the world at my fingertips. 

i got what i wanted in the end, i think. it came at a very high cost. i can’t face you.

will you hold me, if i asked? will you cherish me, if i asked? will you love me, if i asked? it’s cold. it’s empty. it makes me feel alone. i feel so alone. would you look at me? would you keep me safe? would you lock me away? would you kill me? would you destroy me? would you melt me? i can’t do it. i don’t want to anymore. i regret it all. 

i did this. i wanted this. i won. i win. i’ll keep winning. i’ll keep running. i’ll keep creating. 

i hope that in another universe, i’m nothing like how i am now. i hope that i’m happy. i hope that i live for myself. i hope that i have morals. i hope that i apologize. i hope that i forgive.

i hope that i burn. fade into ashes.

and then the lights disappeared.

[shenenenigans]

ooohhhh spooky sneak peek wooooo ohhhhhh so interestinf ohhhh you’re in awe oooojhh

its gonna be another lke. file post for ocs that i make yk what i mean i should probably organize my oc blogs a bit more honestly

[shenenenigans]

the way i never posted what this was for. the way i've been avoiding my ocs like the plague like oof sorry guys i got overwhelmed by life... we're really in it now...

[shenenenigans]

no matter what the vote says, i’ve lost fair and square.

i wanted this.

[season40]

ALNST SEASON 40 OFFICIAL ROUNDS

Side A

Round 1: Ciaran v. Brandon ( @starry-skiez / @neverforgetyou )

Round 2: Zero v. Can ( @apriciticreveries / @paradisedisconcert )

Round 3: Yumi v. Asahi ( @rockwgooglyeyes / apri )

Round 4: Sirius v. Dante ( @junebluues / rock )

Round 5: Casimir v. Clementine ( star / @chevalperd )

Round 6: Innamorati v. Yael ( @alien-til-i-stage / @lookatmysillies )

Round 7: Toki v. Clove ( @verdantlights )

Round 8: Sebastian v. Yvonne ( @sotogalmo / @aakaneeee )

Round 9: Monica v. Isla ( @nottoonedin )

Round 10: Numa v. Maya ( june / @cloverandstuff )

Round 11: Juliet v. Jiu ( @yunoftheclouds / @severedscales )

Round 12: Eeta v. Ambrosia ( kellie / @rosedeleca )

Side B

Round 13: Mill v. Ava ( @waterydream / @tinypaperstar )

Round 14: Yuna v. Willow ( star / syd )

Round 15: Kioku v. Eri ( para / star )

Round 16: Leto v. Asuka ( sun / rock )

Round 17: Gaia v. Eliana ( @subzeromoron / akane )

Round 18: Aamon v. Xael ( akane / june )

Round 19: Mentha v. Naz ( rose / blue )

Round 20: Wren v. Atlas ( @ivanttakethis / akane )

Additional Information:

Round matchups will no longer be changing.

Round 1 will begin on December 24th. If your character is in this first round, please let me know their song ASAP.

All rounds will begin at 12:00 AM CST and end after 24 hours.

The announcers of S40 (Faisal and Zhuli) will sometimes make comments on the events of a round if it is interesting/important.

The announcers of S40 will have a popularity poll at the end of this season. Whoever loses will die.

If your character has to die/will escape in their round, please tell me! I'll have to know so I can prepare an announcement after their round is over.

If two characters tie, it is either up to the creators to choose the loser OR I will spin a wheel to decide their fate.

Feel free to send in any questions about how rounds operate! I will answer to the best of my ability.

[shenenenigans]

none of you are ready for round 4, i fear

[shenenenigans]

this is going to be what the numa and sirius interaction is going to look like i fear

[shenenenigans]

get ready for yaoi week this week. step aside nene. it’s time for the cannibalistic homosexuals to shine

[shenenenigans]

numaposting POSTPONED again because why was i out of the house for half the whole day today and i have a dentist appointment tomorrow? you can just kill me i think

anyway

numa & xael blood splatters

numa

tears + blood dripping from mouth

ominous eye stuff

xael

eyebags

ominous ear stuff

blood smeared on mouth

cuts on arm? from what? you tell me

extra lore stuff abt them

lowkey the poses kind of match an interaction i have planned WHO SAID THAT WH

cannibalism & blood drinking yeuuhhhh

sh & eds are present in their story

intimacy 🙏😔 sorry chat u can skip if you don’t like that stuff

blue and red haha do you remember what that means

xael’s past includes sa! numa helps him through it, so that’s another warning

are they doomed or not you tell me

tags since this is kinda lore?? it’s been a while guys i dunno anymorw 💔😕

@aakaneeee @4listr @bluemoonscape @rockwgooglyeyes @apriciticreveries

@pwippy @verdantlights @starry-skiez @nottoonedin @paradisedisconcert

[bluemoonscape]

Big fan of characters who “kill” their younger selves. Characters who resent the past version of themselves for letting them get hurt, who look at that kid and feel revolted by the foreignness of it. Characters who feel they have to cut the child out of them like a tumor because it’s hurting them too much and if I don’t kill you you’ll kill me. Nearly nothing remaining of that past self but for the little connections and mannerisms they can’t kick, and when it shines through, it’s a terrible, tragic thing, because the child is still in there. It’s in there and it’s grotesque in its suffocation. But it’s there.

[shenenenigans]

dare i say

[shenenenigans]

what would you like to do?

wander

consume

save

love

Voting ended onNov 8, 2024

[shenenenigans]

a… t-t-t-t-t-tie…

[shenenenigans]

what does nene dream of?

life

desire

salvation

vengeance

Voting ended onNov 2, 2024

[shenenenigans]

RESULT: Nene dreams of desire.

*this choice will have consequences.

happy birthday! | 020798

Dear friend,

My birthday is not my birthday. I celebrate it anyway, because that means I haven’t succumbed to illness for another year. Sometimes, I start to think that each new passing year is my last. This worries me. It feels like no matter what treatment I get, my condition only gets worse. Are they really trying to fix me? Or are they trying to kill me faster?

The only thing really keeping me going is my friends. And you, of course, but being with my classmates makes me feel so much better. I know it’s hard for me to go out sometimes because I’m so tired, but I do it anyway. I want to. I don’t want to leave everyone with bad memories.

I’m really scared. I think I’m scaring people nowadays, actually. When I walk out of the infirmary with tired eyes and a weary smile, it’s like everywhere I go, everyone is staring at me. It feels like my whole world is collapsing. I’m always cold, always tired, and it’s getting so much harder for me to just get out of bed and walk.

My dearest friend, do you want to know what I wish for?

I wish that I was healthy. I wish that I had the strength to live and breathe for myself. I wish I didn’t have to attach myself to other people in order to be happy. I wish I could say I’m sorry to everyone for worrying them, and I’m actually getting much better, even if I’m not.

I feel really bad. Especially for Eliana. I think she’s concerned for me, but I can’t let her know that everything hurts. I know she doesn’t love me like I love her, but I can’t bring myself to let her go. I can’t let anyone go. I can’t let myself go.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m always wishing, but nothing ever comes true. Do I have to pray? Do I have to pray to a god I don’t even believe in? If The Great ANAKT were a real, kind god, I would’ve been fixed by now. 

I’m a lost cause, aren’t I?

I won’t graduate here. I’ll never last that long. 

When I was a kid, I had a brother. Well, he was only technically my brother. We were never related. I’ve told you before, haven’t I? I remember we never really interacted, mostly because Lycos would always put more time and effort into caring for me because he thought I’d just drop dead at any second. He thought I was fragile.

Khoi was… he was different. There were times that he would sneak into my room, if you could even call it that, and rest his hands along the clear glass that surrounded me on all sides. I was in an enclosure, blocking out the world that makes me sick. 

Sometimes he would play music for me. Others he would talk to me. I think he knew I was lonely. But one time, and only one time, he spoke to me harshly. After that, I never saw him again.

“You know, Nene,” he said to me. “You’re so small and so weak. I don’t know what our father has in store for you, but let me tell you this: You wouldn’t last in the outside world. These segyein are cruel. They’ll beat you, torture you, and maybe they’d even kill you if they got the chance.”

He scared me, I told him he scared me, but he still kept going.

“When weak little kids like you die, your body gets burned into ash. Do you know what I believe? Humans are ashes. That’s where we start. We will always return to ashes. These segyein… where I’m going, they’ll take your body and spread it over all the other kids like snow. They’ll have death on their bodies, on their faces, in their mouths, and they won’t even know. You’ll die, Nene. We all die eventually. Don’t be so stupid and die so quickly.”

He rested his head on the glass next to my own. “You should treasure the life you were given. Live your life for yourself. Every day could be your last, so make sure you don’t regret anything. You don’t deserve to have this wonderful dream ripped from your hands, Nene. I’m sorry.”

He cried that night. I had never seen him cry before. I can’t get his words out my head. I don’t want to become snow. I want to treasure my life, like he said, but I’m not even living for myself anymore. I failed him. I don’t even know where he is now.

I wish everything were different. I need everything to be different. I wish I knew why I was like this, I wish I knew who I really was. Who are my parents? Why did they leave me? What was my name supposed to be? Who was I supposed to be? Is my purpose just to live and die in this hellish place? But I’ve found so much joy and love in this garden. That means this is meant to be paradise. A paradise with enclosed walls, a fake sky, fake trees, and artificial flowers.

I know so much. But at the same time, I know too little. I can’t help but want. I can’t help but need. 

I’m always yearning for things that don’t come to me. Maybe I just have to force it.

Thanks for listening,

Nene

——————

@aakaneeee @4listr @apriciticreveries @bluemoonscape @rockwgooglyeyes @zerostyrant @pwippy @nottoonedin @starry-skiez @paradisedisconcert

[shenenenigans]

i lied i did not nene post today because my eye dr appointment took longer than i thought + i had lessons 💔 TOMORROW AND THE 3RD. EEK