[shenrickyz]

comme you're my favorite garçon

ᕱ ᕱ ❛  8teen, hethey, a chronic yang2 & ning2 enjoyer, overexplainer, and cannot resist new oc projects. currently extremely caffeinated, fuck CT scans!

ᕱ ᕱ the (unofficial) isa-verse !

꩜ . . @soleilis ᎓  12mb gg

꩜ . . @m3loria ᎓  13mb bg

꩜ . . @roseaceae ᎓  6mb bg

꩜ . . @northstarco ᎓  nct127 add

[m3loria]

. . . why do they ignore this one's existence?

well i can't answer that one, but i can tell you what the albums name means. salva veritate is a latin phrase that means " with unharmed truth ", a frankly fitting name because this album represents a collection of diary entries more than anything. it wasn't expected, and the personal aspects clearly weren't either, but it seemed to an artistic choice..

. . .     % four arduous months following the release of their second mini album, salva veritate was released on november twentieth twenty twenty. no prior social media posts, no indication from the members, just released out of nowhere at midnight and allowed to simply fester. funnily enough, the members act like this album just doesn't exist, especially a certain member despite the fact that his name is scrawled over basically every song. it's personal, it's slow, and it was barely promoted, five tracks, an easy snow day listen.

. . . ▸ opening rather soothingly, knock on is basically the songification of the phrase " kicking my feet and giggling ", basically, these men want the subject of this song BAD, so bad that they hope they're writing about them in their diary. once again, it's the product of a yohan-hwan pairing, starting to think they've never gotten over anything in their lives. basically enough, knock on is a love tune, it's about the heartwarming moments before confessions that make you roll around your bed happily, giggling over the basic things such as text messages or simply hearing them talk. honestly? it's cute.

. . . ▸ again yohan penned (his name is all over this thing), light a flame sports the " love is like fire " analogy, though not that intense of a song, it narrates the intensities of love, how it may begin light yet feverishly grows passionately like a fire. all consuming, occasionally overbearing, but sometimes you are so intrigued that you yearn to step closer, for the warmth, the spark which makes you feel special. it can both destroy you and offer you available mellowness. while it isn't exactly title track worthy according to everybody, the message seemingly covers all bases, even in a cozy 3:15.

. . . ▸ it's like everyone in this group had a bad breakup or something, because etiolate is a clear breakup tune, and though i don't know much, i know one of them must've been clutching their hair strands for days. written and produced by louvix audio head music pro ahn sohyun in a not so surprising partnership with yohan, the prior staff member noted that the meliora members were " experts at yearning, they needed more of that ", she was right, we thank her for her sound judgement. if we can take anything from listening to this, it's that they did not take the breakup well at all.

. . . ▸ okay so imagine the last song, crank it up to like 10000%, and you have so long, the songification of " sobbing on the floor " apparently.. they're getting desperate y'all. literally the only song on the album having not been poked and prodded by a certain leader, so long was written and produced by a frankly talented eighteen year old named eden, probably not her real name but it's impressive nonetheless! though also a clear breakup tune, it instead takes the approach of " you might just be the problem ", less of an innate tune regarding love and being angry over the ending of that love, but coming to terms with what humans are, overly complicated. maybe you were a pushover, blinded by your very own ambition, careless concerning the feelings of the person who you tell " i love you " rather indifferently. somewhat silently, it's encouraging people in relationships to be better.

. . . ▸ finally, after insane collections of seemingly depressing music, i wish is the closing tune which provides somewhat solace, a bit of hope in this album which appears to paint love in a negative steering light. frankly, i wish is much more about friendship than romantic relationships, at least that's what our beloved writer yohan says, yeah he's back, did you miss him? he didn't write the whole thing, eventually junmin came in to write the second half of the song.. a strangely fitting pairing. platonic or romantic, this song is about somebody who loves someone so much it's sickening, that they want to get sick in tandem with that special someone, love is surging, whether it be between friends, or lovers, something those two probably know a lot about.

. . .     % era notes

the album was actually barely promoted, no prior messages or even hints from the members that it would be released, it was clearly very thought of but after it was released louvix audio rarely batted an eye at it

light a flame won exactly 1 music show, fitting because they only did show up for like.. two days to promote it

selling over 750,000 copies in the span of a month, it was certified platinum by the kmca on december twenty ninth twenty twenty, by late january twenty twenty one it had surpassed over 1,000,000 sold copies

memorable era moments

okay so.. the members kinda pretend this album doesn't exist for some reason

especially yohan, yeah he created like half the thing and he always squints uncomfortably whenever interviewers bring it up

this album, and late 2020 brought a cute collection of meliora vlogs, the fan favorite one being ‘nov.log #7: the making of knock on’, which is.. pretty self explanatory, it gave fans a glimpse into the song-creating process

"would you rather be a human with strawberry thoughts or a strawberry with human thoughts?" — kang yaejoon, 2020

hajoon and haneul's totally not sober karaoke vlive which then got taken down a week later, the latter straining his vocal chords at the attempt of ‘really bad boy’ by red velvet

00 vlive but instead of promoting the album junmin and hajoon were arguing over baseball teams whilst yohan just sat there wanting to die

hajoon describing the album as a ‘diary entry of sorts’ in an interview while yohan glared from beside him, eventually giving him a hard nudge with the elbow before he could say any more

[northstarco]

˚.  ﹙ 㶌 ﹚ ☆  127 O.VIEW : home is wherever ilichil happens to be, that’s what niko’s unfamiliar conscious tells him anyway. he’s naturally stubborn, yes, but he will always recognize 127 as a collection of unbreakable bonds, no matter which member, they all speak to him in some particular regard. though they’re much exuberant and often make him question their extent of sanity, he has an excessive amount of love he’d rather die before utter the existence of. they’re always his first batch of people as choices to hang out with, through occasional mutters he might seem like your typical tsundere stereotype who desperately wants to appear as if he hates his friends, but he doesn’t, he really does showcase his love for them much more apparently than he even realizes, much to his very own dismay.

쟈니 & 니코 ╱ YOUNGNI

okay so when you take aggressively affectionate tall fucking only child and emotionally repressed daddy issues ridden eldest child you get johnny and niko, glued together in the practice room on a random morning in 2011 and bonded by fate ever since. if that description sounds over the top than congratulations! their relationship is not that much different. they are both over the top whenever you stick them in a room together, either going at each other’s throats or silently feuding over something. their relationship is basically arguing, poking at one another whenever they need something to do, bickering then holding hands in the next frame.

the beginning of their relationship was much easier to digest than whatever the hell they have going on now, johnny basically taught niko the ropes, or just sort of dragged him around whilst 16 year old niko blinked with his huge brown eyes and nodded at whatever he said though his korean was iffy. nevertheless, they bonded quickly over shared interests and the fact that johnny was niko’s extroverted side for a good three years until the other found his footing.

despite the fact that he wasn’t initiated into the foreign swaggers (he’s still the slightest bit pissed over that one), johnny is niko’s older sibling standin, equally as annoying and protective over him. shit, his parents just treat niko as their own and johnny has his own cute little pact with niko’s own siblings. they’re each others support pillars but they will never admit that because they’re in some little competition where they try to not admit anything to each other.

the two are always around the other, whether it be niko popping in on somewhat regular instagram lives and the two just waltzing into each other’s places like “heyyy!”. yes they bicker over the dumbest of things, but they are extremely entertaining. interactions between them in 127 content are always gold, they could sit in the same room and remain silent yet everybody would eat it up because they’re just.. entertaining. they are basically lloromannic from sanrio, an arguably devilish pair though adorable once you squint.

태용 & 니코 ╱ TAENI

niko has some strange emotional attachment to taeyong he won’t really divulge anything to anybody about. similarly to the prior member, taeyong is also sort of an older sibling standin for niko, who was so scarred by being obscurely unconditionally loved that he almost avoided the older for a whole entire year until finally allowing the mountains of affection to fall atop him. taeyong is home, a warm hug niko won’t shy away from, he possesses the good kind of affection, he’s allowed several overwhelming hugs and kisses whilst the other members (haechan) pout over niko’s distance towards them.

it’s not that niko was scared of taeyong per say.. but every time he says that his limbs begin shaking so he’s clearly not all in the clouds about that. he would literally avoid the older like the plague, hiding behind johnny with the worst of excuses as to why he couldn’t talk to him at all. he was so much more older, seemed more experienced, just appeared so unreachable, he was clearly a bit anxious over all of that. it took him a whole entire year after the two had joined sm for him to actually sink into the normalcy which came with taeyong, an astounding degree of affection fit with that mother like nagging he’s gotten accustomed to.

basically, taeyong is the parental figure always ready to nag. it’s not as if niko’s mother isn’t in his life, she is, taeyong simply filled that role without realizing it. it’s the typical things; playful nagging and pestering, impulsively asking him if he’s eaten (and if he hasn’t, he’ll cook for him even with pushback), the abrupt bouts of affection he’ll just give him during the day. taeyong basically has an eye for everything niko, whenever he shatters something (his phone.. always his phone) it takes an earful from the older for him to actually replace it. taeyong shoves mountains of affection atop him and niko takes it because he truly doesn’t mind it from him.

niko looks up to taeyong a lot, admiration for him is steeped very deeply into his person. he finds such company nice because no matter how cheesy his puns are, taeyong always offers him laughter.

悠太 & 니코 ╱ YUKO

they are a severely underrated pair, truly each other’s number one supporters who communicate through strange gestures and often weird shared interests. if yuta is hangyodon, then niko is itaro, yes, a frankly compatible fish and squid. they began as a pretty silent match, both reserved enough with their little knowledge of korean, debut bought little interactions but few exchanged smiles and praises from one to the other. what really brought them together was dinner, and many shared likes. for starters, sci-fi movies, comic books, endless scrolling over forums which had fans detailing comments on them, and baking.

basically, they just love to sit around and talk. you can catch them in several videos simply muttering, niko throwing his head back at yuta’s several abnormally begun jokes. they can sink into conversation over anything, jewelry, anime, cake, plushies, alcohol, soccer, literally anything. they’re like two best friends during sleepovers who go back and forth droning over everything that can come up during conversation, and they somehow always agree on (mostly) every single thing. yuta is probably one of the only people niko can shop with anxiety free, it’s because they are pretty much on the same wavelength for about 97% of the time.

the two were roommates for a while, so by the time early 2021 rolled around and niko moved out, yuta crashing at his place became regular. susi is so used to his presence that his lap becomes her second bed and they were sharing clothes like.. bi-regularly. occasionally people murmur about couple allegations, and they completely fuel such theories, giggling like teenagers as they scrolled twitter looking at collected evidence. they have it all, matching hats, bracelets (with charms they made together), keychains, shirts, they bounce off each other in their own strange little way.

they’re always ready to rally behind each other, just so defensive you’d almost think they were a couple, dinner dates the cherry on top. despite them basically being married, they are much overlooked, even with the insistence by nctzens that they gotta be doing something suspicious, either way, they’re kinda in their own arena of friendship, especially with keychains. yuta got niko little twin stars merchandise and he about cried. of course he’d never admit any of that, crying who?

도영 & 니코 ╱ DONI

okay.. okay.. save doyoung from niko now. it seems the younger has one mode around the older vocalist: public nuisance. he simply thinks it’s so fun to watch the other have to stifle his very anger, something akin to a meddling younger sibling who can get away with anything. doyoung thought he would’ve escaped niko after the 7th sense unit wrapped up promotions, but then limitless came around, and the other was back terrorizing him for as long as they would remain groupmates. every single time niko sits beside doyoung the older quite literally appears to begin praying, ‘can’t he just go easy on me?’

sometimes doyoung wants to punch him, truly, he has the patience of a saint, and though niko is typically silent in the corner, every so often he pitches in to make sure the older isn’t let off the hook. it isn’t always one sided, it can also be reciprocated sometimes. they’re like johnny and niko except they’re cosplaying as a disgruntled married couple with haechan in the middle as their child of divorce, basically, they argue so seriously the members kinda can’t help but silently sitting backs and watching. don’t be fooled, they are both great actors, or are they.. who knows?

despite frequently butting heads, they are practically attached by the hip. they’re the kind of duo who fight whilst holding hands, insult each other in the middle of an extremely tight hug. niko won’t ever resist a good moment to pick fun at doyoung for crying, but of course he’s going to comfort him in tandem with that, he’s not a monster, you know? he may just be doyoung’s biggest fan, he’s buying all the albums and going to all the fansigns and writing poems about his vocals. just kidding!.. just kidding..

niko will never allow doyoung to forget anything embarrassing, but they do love each other, in their own weird little way. it isn’t always heated between them, sometimes they just have their silent moments where they lean on each other for bouts of minutes until the members have to force them to talk. they simply understand each other, communication simple even without words, it seems niko just enjoys becoming someone much more exuberant around him. in a way, they’re kinda like the magical twin comets, same age, mostly same feelings.

재현 & 니코 ╱ YOONI

according to every single 127zen in the history of the universe, niko and jaehyun have beef, they swear those two hate each other, that they’re distancing themselves from each other on purpose and are fighting behind the scenes in music bank. it really has never been that serious, they don’t hate each other at all, but they love acting like they do to fuel the several nctzen conspiracy theories. they got off at a rough start when they were trainees because of a couple of differences, and they avoided each other like the plague for the months coming up to the 7th sense being released. they weren’t even trying to be slick initially, jaehyun would walk into the room and niko would make up some bullshit excuse to scurry out of the room.

it wasn’t hate, just a mutual dislike they couldn’t exactly get over. it took taeyong (and johnny, but more on niko’s part) stepping in to get them to make up, or at least be in each other’s good graces so that their debut would be easy enough. they both apologized, and got over it. it did take them both a while, but they finally did establish some form of friendship despite their equal amount of awkwardness. they smiled at each other, little talking yet enough of an easy time with one another. they truly did become closer after 127’s debut, spending late nights giggling over stupid jokes that of course only they would find funny.

so why do they seemingly have active beef and are engaging in fights behind the music bank stage? well niko just said something which got taken out of context, said once in 2017 vlive that he and jaehyun weren’t the “most compatible back in the practice room” and people simply ran with the shit. honestly, they find it absolutely hilarious, they try to feed into it as much as they can, overdramatizing predebut stories to watch fans go wild with assumptions that are nothing of the truth.

truly? they get along just fine, they’ve gotten past their differences and spent a crazy amount of time together considering how much they like to keep up the hatred act. sometimes niko will just drag jaehyun out to explore food stalls out on the streets, and the younger pretends to be annoyed while hiding a smile the whole entire time. they have both very much failed at sustaining the whole ‘mysterious idol’ persona, they’re silly with no care in the world!

정우 & 니코 ╱ NIWOO

when jungwoo joined 127, niko thought it would all be fine. he was cute, shy, occasionally talkative but he made little noise. it did not end up being fine. it’s not like jungwoo was planning his murder or anything, he was simply much more of a random person than the other expected. basically, their relationship is jungwoo does or says something pretty strange while niko just stares like an off-put mom saying “that’s nice sweetie..” though his smile indicates anything but. in the beginning, jungwoo reminded niko a lot of himself, so it was an easily blossoming friendship.

now.. they are very much chaotic. every time jungwoo calls niko to ask him yet another stupid question at one in the morning the older longs for the courage to actually shut him up, he honestly finds it cute. jungwoo trusts niko with a lot of things, he can easily divulge things to him, sometimes he has trouble expressing certain emotions, and niko is understanding enough that he won’t chuckle at any of that. jungwoo is definitely head junis, nobody else is allowed to fight him on that because he constantly makes niko say it himself, whether completely in his will or not.

they are always doing some strange shit, niko will 100% always drive whenever in a car with jungwoo because he’s afraid of his odds when the other begins driving, gripping onto that fucking seatbelt for life! sometimes they’re just caught out at bakeries having some crazily serious discussions over macaroons or sugar cookies. occasionally, when niko lets his guard down, you can catch none another than kim jungwoo just snuggling up against him, arms linked or hands held or they’re simply hugging.. well more of jungwoo squeezing the shit out of him while niko just stands there.

most of their relationship is simply jungwoo talking niko’s ear off with several obscure factoids and the other nodding. they are very much two sides of the same coin yet also much of opposites, like pinkylilrose and rioskypeace.

마크 & 니코 ╱ MARKO

they’re lowkey soulmates but also don’t call them that because they’re fighting currently.. or something i don’t know. niko and mark are best friends. point blank. they try to say they aren’t but they are, they’re so terrible at not being friends that it’s kind of funny to watch them try to grasp at things to argue about. they have many things in common in particular, a whole list could be made really, but it’s music in specific that made them grow much closer. the whole trainee process took a similar toll on them, and though niko had little of the older member wisdom somebody like johnny possessed, mark was drawn towards him due to their similar situations.

so there began their cute little relationship, despite mark being a prolific science despiser, niko being the opposite, it was as if they were meant to find each other or something. especially during their days as trainees, mark says having niko around in those early years really helped push him forward, that the older is much more encouraging than he enjoys appearing. they spent a lot of predebut time together, whether it be just talking about missing home or simply creating random rhymes in the stuffy trainee dorms. their old tradition used to include sneaking out for ice cream, yes despite the crazy dieting, they kept it to themselves as their own pinky promise (niko would never let mark pay for it, though).

niko sort of keeps mark in check, he’s got a lot on his shoulders, scattered schedules and little hours dedicated to himself. despite the clear hypocrisy, niko is truly always the first person to notice when mark’s off, whenever they get even the slightest break niko always just offers his place as a comforting space. sometimes mark doesn’t want to talk to the members, he’s disgruntled and overworked and can’t bear to do anything, so niko offers him a comfortable air of silence whilst they watch all the spiderman movies again for about the seventh time.

sometimes niko bakes for him and mark watches on like he’s some sort of magician (“dude, you gotta teach me your ways”), they really do fight just to fight. mark is to niko what niko is to johnny, that one younger sibling figure he’s truly unaware where they came from, yet he’s glad is there either way, even if he’s a little annoying.

해찬 & 니코 ╱ NIHAE

so basically, niko is one of the only members haechan will willingly let off the hook, that may be because he’s got a slight fear of him but shh! you didn’t hear that from me. niko met haechan through mark, who wasn’t exactly as fond of him at the time, but the older adored the little menace. something about him and his cute face despite the constant complaints mark gave about him was simply.. interesting, so by the time 2016 rolls around, haechan thinks niko is easily one of the coolest people in the world. australia simply seemed so far away, everything about him, his demeanor, his way of carrying himself, it all just seemed much more amazing than it really was.

niko was really just your run of the mill antisocial teenager who had a habit of making friends with his juniors, he had no idea how anybody could see him as.. cool, but he took it in stride either way. he hung on niko’s arm for most of their early debut years, and niko just found him absolutely adorable. yeah he was a little annoying but niko was spared all of that due to a beautiful thing called favoritism. sometimes, they even gang up on the others, watching as they grew more and more irritated with each moment of teasing. #savedoyoungfromnihae.

they have many cute little things they do, haechan calls him “niru”, a combination of his name and badtz maru, who the other says niko is much alike to, so in response to that niko calls him “haena-maru”, after hana maru. haechan is basically his baby, niko defends him with everything, whenever the members yell at him niko has to put his foot down, it’s like he gave birth to him or something, there’s a mere four year age difference yet he acts as if he was at the hospital on june 6th 2000. they have matching bracelets and are always ready to hop on overwatch together, they constantly have time for each other, it’s cute how much they care.

niko has seen haechan at his many highs and lows, sometimes the idol personality drains him, he quiets down, and his social battery is drained, his limit reached. niko is often good at bringing him back to reality, sometimes he gets too energetic, then there’s a hand on his shoulder, a silent beckoning for him to take it easy. haechan will always tease him for it (“aww, you care so much about me right hyung?”), but he’s very appreciative of niko for everything he does do, silent or otherwise.

[shenrickyz]

RIP FADED SNOW; YOU WERE REAL ONES. I suppose not everything can last forever .. Written by ██. February 29 2024

‘Drowning in the faded snow…’ is a quote which, frankly, means nothing, yet it was the catalyst for two young girls to string up formerly maimed guitars and surmise on just how much more thinking it would take to begin a band, just the two of them and their practically lifeless guitars? It would go nowhere. The older of the pair, frontwoman Matsuoka Yukiko (aptly named ‘snow child’) had several lyrics scribbled in her diary which were aided along with her keyboard and falling apart guitar, a thing she was so attached to she barely batted an eye at it despite the tunes beginning to dry up. However, she did have a specific phrase tattooed across her waist, it was fate apparently.

The second half of this pair, little Iguchi Rie was hesitant, as she always seems to be, hesitance clouding the beginning, the treacherous halfway point, and the booming end, yet it seems she could not resist the pull her childhood friend (now enemy seemingly) sported in that very moment. They were sixteen, but they did not long for fame, they longed to create art those could cherish, digging their endless thumbs into woven music they could not help but admire.

So it began, sifting through the music club, then over to sleepovers, cringy names which included Latin messaging which then eventually evolved into the titular 色褪せた雪—Iroaseta Yuki, Faded Snow, I can imagine the name initially earned laughs before it became their trademark, back when all of it was merely for fun.

Two guitarists (one sometimes on vocals), two drummers, and one vocalist, who, though she could play a bundle of instruments herself, was quoted to ‘have a voice for all’ made up the collection. It was a scant five; Matsuoka Yukiko, Iguchi Rie, Ejima Saori, Hirao Hatsune, and Ueto Sayaka, a clobbered together group of teenagers who tossed lyrics around in rooms with rickety lights, unknowing of what the future would bring despite their juvenile affairs.

The first two years brought little, a few perk ups and praises given by school teachers, some classmates deeming all of it ‘cool as shit’, but there wasn’t much of a true blowup, a couple of radio circulations there. They only ever had enough resources to release singles, 1998 saw the release of ‘Darline’ and in 1999 they released ‘Love as Asteroids’, the two singles clearly aren’t their best works considering what would quickly follow, but are still ample displays of just what they could do with what they had.

So then comes 2000, the group are in a bit of a split decision, something that always happens when all five of them are in the studio together, screaming matches ensuing over hours and hours of recording, Saori constantly having to act as peacekeeper in order to prevent any physical fights from forming. Eventually, the over fifty hours of studio quarreling ended up in their favor, because it birthed ‘Crime and Punishment’, released on leap day, their most famous single to date, which then catapulted them into fame they didn’t expect.

But how did that happen? It comes down to one woman: Adachi Rina, manager mom, the woman who can be credited for the groups rise in fame, and for their inevitable downfall. She’s got her perks, possibly lives a little too much in the past, but at least she treated the girls as human beings whilst they were under her care. Rina sensed potential, so she had ‘Crime and Punishment’ looping on radios until it got the attention of a small little label called Soundrays. Before the group knew it, they were national superstars.

Sort of.. the months following were riddled with clearly misogynistic remarks and comments regarding them as ‘one hit wonders’, some journalists even urging Rina to give up on the five, but in a move which is probably one of the only good things she’s done in her managing career, she did not.

So when the group, record label contract signed, studio screaming heightened to about 200% higher, they entered 2001 with their debut studio album ‘Caution! Snow Ahead!’. Aptly headlined by the single ‘Caution!’, it took the whole one hit wonder mantra, flipped it on its head, spat on it, then stomped it over with an irregularly huge shoe. With the members having most of the albums credits tied to their name, there was little argument, they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Later that year they won the Best New Artist and Record of The Year Award, described by an anonymous journalist as ‘the kind of group that uses typically bizarre ideas that they blend together beautifully’.

So what happened? What was the true cause of their downfall? On the 24th anniversary of Crime and Punishments release, the true reason behind their imminent split is still debated, heck, people are continuing to place bets on it, and it is clearly the result of the whole ‘creative differences’ reason being just too much of an easy out by their label.

And of course, the now feud between the two creators of the very band doesn’t ease suspicion either. Considering the things the members whisper, they definitely aren’t beating any allegations (they say the lover’s quarrel thing is old, it seems the rest of the band think so too), but what do I know about anything? I’m a mere internet dweller reporting on it two decades later. If Yukiko and Rie really did bring their years worth of work to an end all because of a bad breakup, all to just be the members who disliked each other the most following the split, then I would say its simply a beautiful display of true pettiness.

So what do you think, then? What really did cause the end of a group that seemed so unbreakable? So close that not a singular album could be forced out of the five? Was it actually because of aforementioned creative differences? Or was it an ever growing rift between two members with an over complicated relationship that killed it all? Was the groups said creator really as overbearing as some members enjoy implying? Well.. I can’t say anything concrete, but what I can reiterate is something interesting I recall Hatsune saying during a 2009 interview:

“Well I guess we aren’t really conventional— not in the way people expect for friends to be, I don’t enjoy our fights, nobody enjoys fights, but I feel tensions would be worse if such stress wasn’t lifted from our shoulders every time we argue over musical concepts in the studio. If we ever did break up, tomorrow or even next week, I really don’t know what would do it, it feels we’ve all seen each other’s worst sides already”.

Perhaps she was a fortune teller, much too knowing of their upcoming fate. Happy twenty four years to crime and punishment, rest in peace Faded Snow, you were too young when you went.

[shenrickyz]

AELIA. YOU’RE BACK, AT LAST, AFTER A THOUSAND YEARS. NOVALIE. YES DARLING, I’M HOME.

sanguis translates to ‘blood’, from porous heights, teeth barred in the manner of an animal. there are two happenings, orpheus and eurydice, marked by their grief and selfishness, then cupid and psyche, enraptured by overwhelming emotions. headlined in toe with a figure shadowed over by his cruel smile, a stark terror-stricken darkness in his eyes which cannot exemplify anything besides pure contempt. he made her this way. he made her a monster. she shall make him pay.

─────── loneliness will sit over our roofs with brooding wings.

sanguis ( 생귀스 ) is a south korean girl group formed by the frankly tiny mystine records. appearing from the depths of nowhere and headlined by a dark story holding back no punches, the group earned initial attention from their unique concept, a concept which had been developed from the remnants of a canceled book series. though originally meant to debut as a quintet, the group eventually made their debut on october thirty twenty-twenty as a four-piece, consisting of members aelia, novalie, areti, and flora.

despite the much late departure of ▇▇, one of their key members who played a crucial role in the groups storyline ( the others clearly have leftover contempt for her ), their creative team pursued. the group explores themes of grief, codependency, immortality and existential subjects throughout their concept, not always through the music, but you could glimpse it in the several written lyrics which may delve too deep.

aside from that, there is forever criticism, the members in pair with their creative team have been ripped to shreds by certain outlets for the bleakness of their stories, the portrayal of relationships ( which are not always heteronormative ), and of course.. the gore. there is typically no response for these kinds of comments, that’s unless you count their batshit fans, if you erase that though, they have been praised for their storytelling abilities and versatility.

orpheus aelia. ( 아엘리아 )

cw: mentions of blood, substance addiction, and bullying.

៹ 生 your story begins in march, an unwanted child pouring her soul into an art form which offered her naught. her mother did not care for her, her father could be one akin to a ghost, home often smelling of things she was much too young to grasp. the weight of the world crushed her shoulders, the kids at school pulled her hair, dug their nails into her skin and tugged until it all bled. she grew a steady swarm of hatred, for the world, for everybody, for her mother that did not bat an eyelash in her direction, she mused that she did not have a home, failed by all but musical intent. she eventually did find her home, though it was in a group stained with violence.

stage name. aelia ( 아엘리아 )

birth name. yoo shinhye ( 유신혜 )

birthdate. 03 / 18 / 00

zodiac sign. pisces

birthplace. cheongju, north chuncheong, sk

height. 169 cm / 5 ft 6

blood type. ab

occupation. idol, songwriter, guitarist

position. leader, main vocalist, visual

portrayed by. lee yejin ( h1-key )

eurydice novalie. ( 노발리 )

cw: mentions of emotional abuse.

៹ 生 she’s the daughter of stark villainy, a couple who touted their terrible reputation over her head in a reminder that she could not get anywhere without recalling what she comes from, technical evil you could say. she always loathed herself for being apart of them, her future name stained irreparably due to the fashioned superiority they lorded over her head. how she managed while attached to her name is a mystery, but it just so happened to be her very own feat of determination, perhaps her delicate fingertips and adept sense for musical sense is what kept her head above water. it appears she could never escape the enraptured emotions surrounding her parents, as the particular traits had to manifest in the member she found herself closest, her.

stage name. novalie ( 노발리 )

birth name. choi yumi ( 최유미 )

birthdate. 08 / 08 / 00

zodiac sign. leo

birthplace. gangnam, seoul, sk

height. 166 / 5 ft 5

blood type. a

occupation. idol, songwriter, producer, actress (former)

position. main dancer, lead vocalist

portrayed by. jeon heejin ( artms )

cupid areti. ( 아레티 )

cw: mentions of blood & stabbing (its only an analogy).

៹ 生 it appears she loves with all her might, heart strapped onto her sleeve. it takes little of callous terms to take her down, tears clinging on the hairs of her eyelashes despite her imminent need to tout strength. the one she loved most left her behind, deserted as she dug her nails aimlessly into the dirt, longing for her return, even if it came with her as a ghost. they all pulled at her, blood pouring out from where they stabbed at her crux of true emotions. yet her love is overwhelming, she loves so much that she may die with an affectionate smile painted over her features. it is them before it is ever her, the world shamelessly attacks at her core organ, all of it shadowed over by her growing naivety, the world does not want her for anything but selfish need.

stage name. areti ( 아레티 )

birth name. song saerom ( 송새롬 )

birthdate. 11 / 29 / 00

zodiac sign. sagittarius

birthplace. daejeon, sk

height. 170 cm / 5 ft 7

blood type. ab

occupation. idol, songwriter

position. lead vocalist, lead dancer

portrayed by. ahn jin ( witchers )

psyche flora. ( 플로라 )

cw: mentions of suicide.

៹ 生 she may as well be the only balance, though the harshness of the world seized her by the throat she could only work up the most gentle of replies. there was enough of an available space, following the media adorned incident of 2010, her mother laid barren in her expensive high rise apartment with a dormant bottle of pills by her side, she supposed she had nowhere else to. true to her manner, she never did believe she had the guts to do it, but once it all died down, she needed to earn respect in some other regard. her overwhelming emotions in pair with her powerful voice carried her through, she wasn’t the member to take it into her own hands, nor until she had gotten too cocky. however, she still allowed poise to be the forefront of her character.

stage name. flora ( 플로라 )

birth name. im sohyun ( 임소현 )

birthdate. 10 / 28 / 01

zodiac sign. scorpio

birthplace. gangnam, seoul, sk

height. 174 cm / 5 ft 8

blood type. a

occupation. idol, model, songwriter

position. main vocalist, visual, maknae

portrayed by. lee chaeyoung ( stayc )

ariadne ██. ( ??? )

cw: mentions of murder.

៹ 生 truly, all she ever wanted was power, because what else was she supposed to obtain? father and mother had hit rock bottom, they gave up on her, ripping the pages of her aspirations with little care for how she turned. it was all in the palm of her hand at one point, the music, the members, their minds trapped and their hearts beating profusely for her guidance. at one point they adored her, showered her with praise she yearned to strangle her very parents in, heads kept down as she drowned them with the love they could never give her. of course, all good things have to come to an end, the members may as well have smashed her very head into a mirror, glass shattered as they left her remnants to bleed out on the floor. perhaps she should have gone about it fairly, she did love yumi after all.

stage name. livia ( 리비아 )

birth name. ██

birthdate. 03 / 14 / 00

zodiac sign. pisces

birthplace. jinhae-gu, changwon, sk

height. 168 cm / 5 ft 6

blood type. o

occupation. idol, songwriter, pianist

position. leader, main ..

portrayed by. kim chaewon ( le sserafim )

NOVALIE. LET GO OF ME. AELIA. NEVER.

what happened? the death of ██’s wife put a stain on his outlook of life, on humanity and the world which only appears to pass on the good. he was never a man of science, a clear man of defiance he instead was, going against the word of god in an attempt to detour death. his grasp on orpheus turned her into a creature in her own right, powered by her overwhelming addiction and burning detestation of what humanity has become. yes, ██ was a selfish man, in the face of god, his head would have been off in a heartbeat. but there is no fret, somebody else is ensuring she gets there first. he made her a monster. she shall make him pay.

miserabilis sanguinis . . . a pitiful of blood

[shenrickyz]

work your fingers to the bone

⭑ «  and listen, doyeon is trying. featuring doyeon & yijun of @chcrryade. late nov–2022. 841 words.

!!!! these little gay boys are taking over my brain, somebody save me!! pulled a jj and decided to write about random interesting man who is not real, everyone in cherryade is very intriguing but im lowkey scared to touch gogo.. my glorious gemini king 💔💔 also jalen scares me soooooo 😓 we have this :)) thank you kil doyeon and qiao yijun for making me lose my mind 💗 thank you jj for letting me shake them around in my hands like bobble heads

to be completely fair, righteous, honest in the manner you have to be when concerning your fellow human beings, doyeon does not think yijun is all that bad.

however, that’s about the extent of credence he’ll allow the rapper, there isn’t even the added existence of a somewhat pleasant aid to his personality. he’s aware that’s rude, contradictory, hypocritical, and everybody has their ticks, he can’t exactly lord superiority in that regard.. not much anyway.

doyeon supposes the lack of such attributes could domineer as clear strengths; abrasive, exceedingly headstrong and rousing. it provides enough of a front, an argumentative expression which allows him to ease his way through most of everything, it’s a skilled strategy.

the look doyeon is receiving currently, though shadowed over in the dim lighting the two am dorm atmosphere offers, contains a scarce animosity, unusual for yijun.

doyeon will take anything he can get, which includes the little gleam of curiosity he sourly mistakens for something much better.

“you’re good, hyung, i’ll give you that one”.

the leader blinks, the rapper stares, amused, slightly content.

“elaborate on that one for me”.

doyeon feels idiotic attempting to ask, as if he would tell you, you think he’s a kid or something?

well he surely acts like one.

“you’re smart, can’t you figure it out?”

doyeon didn’t even have to ask a question.

he doesn’t want to say it, dreads the upcoming gaze and idiotic comments he’s aware will follow, already foreshadowing minhui’s shit eating grin, jalen’s drawling about his words being “after school special shit”, haeil would probably take the words with a nod, shyly shading his contentment in his typically reserved manner, and hasun.. well doyeon’s already aware of the advancing reaction with that one, he’s about the simplest member in terms of reaching out to.

and yijun appears evident, an ample display of vitriol he cannot exactly pinpoint. doyeon’s not.. nosy, he thinks, he hopes he doesn’t appear that way, yijun won’t care to leave it untouched, he has that knack for commenting on such specific things.

“i just— i mean.. i don’t know actually, we obviously aren’t going back to the company anytime soon, so can’t you keep a measure of civility while we’re stuck in this dorm for who knows how long?”

perhaps he’s asking for too much, his teeth grit and he prepares a physical wince at the responding silence, as if yijun will attempt a punch or some shit, of course he wouldn’t actually do that but doyeon has also kept in mind to not underestimate the little nuisance.

“civility is fine with me, it’s just—“

“jaehee yes lord i know you don’t exactly make it subtle..”

doyeon almost believes his sight has begun acting up once he observes the not so visceral reaction he earns. he guesses yijun has a measure of integrity, he wouldn’t yell outlandishly whilst the other members are fast asleep (or are staring endlessly at their ceilings, sleep is always a difficult feat), he can give him that one, he isn’t heartless by any means.

“i’ll try”.

and the mutter widens doyeon’s eyes so far they about pop from his sockets, it earns a slight breath, just barely the roots of budding laughter. doyeon is.. pleased.

he’s actually getting somewhere with this, who would even guess?

“what’s with that look? do you have no faith in me, hyung?”

doyeon blinks, silently nervous regarding the offense of his expressions. however, yijun’s got some well scrawled elation over his features, blossoming brightly again despite the lack of noticeable light permeating the room.

“no no it’s not that.. i just..” he’s unaware of how to continue that one, i just wasn’t expecting that from you? well that’s a rude way to continue it, he does care about how yijun feels, even if the rapper might lack some in that regard. “sorry, i do have faith in you”.

you’re better than you like to appear.

okay, so he won’t say that one, he’ll save it for a hopefully finer moment.

“you better, hyung, you know you’re one of my favorites right?”

doyeon falters for a mere second, tongue feeling heavy in his mouth, chilling air seizing his throat. it isn’t surprising by any standards, yijun is brash, yes, but not completely terrible, hopefully not completely terrible.

“ah, really”.

it’s less of a sure inquiry, his hand comes through his hair and he hopes there’s little of clear astonishment on his face, now that would be embarrassing.

yijun doesn’t appear to mind, possibly the brightest smile doyeon’s ever seen blooming over his features. “yeah, don’t tell hasun-ah i said any of that”.

and lord doyeon fucking chuckles, shaking his head in tandem with an exhaling breath. “i think you should go to sleep”.

the words settle into the air, yijun offers nothing more than his endless smile.

“sure hyung”.

doyeon surmises it isn’t much of a success, only one wall taken down, yet it’s a start. yijun’s got his ticks, yes, every human being does, but he really isn’t that bad.

[shenrickyz]

well yes!!!

[shenrickyz]

RYUUSEI HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WEIRD, MAYBE A BIT PETTY TOO.. a short history on one of Japan’s most interesting girl groups, consisting of a few specific cases. Written By Ikeda Yuumi. May 22, 2023.

Debuting in a surely manufactured time period, RYUUSEI hails from a fairly unknown record label by the name of TAIYŌ CREATIVE, a label which was hell bent on creating a best selling girl group to have in tandem with their best selling boy group at the time; INARI, who previously debuted in 1999. They saw massive success with their second single “A Quaint Sunrise”, which stole the Oricon’s Singles Chart for the entire year, named Japan’s “Best Single Of 2000”.

Having to compete with such a compromising force such as STARLIGHT CRUSH who debuted the prior year (and practically hogged all of the charts for the remaining few months), the company knew they had to step up their game. There was one issue, the group comprised of mainly dancers, a good chunk of the lineup, crossing out two very important members, didn’t have adequate singing training, which put their initial November 2002 debut behind.

There was a small connection between the members before the inevitable June 2003 debut. The two eldest; NAO and MIZUKI went to high school together, bonding over their similar musical interests, they would go on to be the catalysts for what was most of the group’s discography. KANNEZAWA FUMIKO is the daughter of the “beloved” KANNEZAWA NANAMI, who charmed the Japanese public’s hearts for the years spanning her solo music career throughout the late 70s to the late 80s. Funnily enough, she was also the creator and primary producer of STARLIGHT CRUSH.

Considering the group was mainly unknown, you know, besides the daughter of a very famous idol who pretty much everyone knew at the time, it seemed there was nothing which could go wrong at the time.. besides their debut going up in flames. The group debuted on June 3, 2003 with the single “Summer Night Town”, but it did not do as well as the company so dearly wanted. The song made little to no noise, produced little to no sales, didn’t chart much, and the groups live performances were notoriously booed during their first few appearances.

It was terrible, it’s clear why the members so dislike talking about the time. They were harassed, ridiculed on online forums, mocked for their looks, said to be “nothing of a future success”, and there was much talks of them disbanding before they could even make it. Though these days “Summer Night Town” is regarded as a relaxing tune that’s emblematic of the season, people back then did not like it, wouldn’t go as far as to say they hated it, but it appeared there was much negativity surrounding them for no reason?

So yeah, it was awful, the members were being coerced into giving up and their company would obviously abandon them easily considering the backlash, but it’s actually due to the two eldest (who probably don’t even talk anymore, wonder what happened there) that the group even survived, and therefore rose from their former underdog status. Both IKEGAMI and HINO took two weeks between the end of June and the beginning of July to create a new single, one that, if it didn’t work out for the group, would probably result in one of the worst endings of a group ever.

They worked on the song for two weeks, devoting pretty much all of their time to creating this song. Eventually, they finally finished; “Manatsu No Kousen”, a song detailing the singers’ exceeding need for an endless summer celebration. With HINO credited for writing the lyrics and IKEGAMI credited with production, it wasn’t known whether this song would actually bring the group some semblance of success.

Well, it did, obviously, otherwise you wouldn’t reading this article right before their 20th debut anniversary, I was sure you were aware of what context clues are. Anyway, July 17, 2003, “Manatsu No Kousen” is released, does absolutely wonders on the charts. You wouldn’t be able to guess people pretty much despised this group a month ago, this song was adored by anyone and everyone. It reached a total of 704,591 sales by the end of the month as well as holding the number one spot on the Oricon Singles Chart for six consecutive weeks, asserting themselves as a genuine competitor for STARLIGHT CRUSH and beating their seniors for having the best selling single under their company.

So NAO and MIZUKI basically saved their group from imminent disbandment with one song, they should be commended for that one. “Manatsu No Kousen” has stapled itself as a cultural symbol, the song inspires a message of hope, though it’s about to turn twenty years old, there’s no shortage of love for it, no matter how old it gets. Of course it wasn’t the groups last number one single, but it remains one of their undisputed best according to basically everybody.

Across their eleven year career, just up until the retirement of their first member, RYUUSEI were beloved for their summery discography, dubbed Japan’s “Queens of Summer” for their release dates often falling into one of three months (June, July, August). They’ve achieved number one spots with every one of their singles besides their debut, though it’s had a resurgence in love as the group made their very name. With 29.80 million sales total (as of the day I write this) they are one of Japan’s best selling artists ever.

But then we go back to the title of this article, I’ll have you know I’m sighing behind the scenes. It appears issues began in 2012, on the cusp of the groups 9th anniversary active, many issues had struck the members. The aforementioned ARAI YURIE was facing the sensationalization of her personal issues, her sister had passed a few months before the group were set to go on their first international tour, her grieving cut short when the location of her resting place was leaked and tabloids would not even allow her to sob in peace, instead plastering picture after picture onto the front pages. A few weeks later, she attempted to take her own life, found unconscious on the floor of her apartment by her fellow member FUMIKO. Again, this event of her life was sensationalized, with certain outlets even selling photos of her at the hospital, cameramen camping outside of her room.

The groups activities were halted for the rest of the year, and though ARAI eventually recovered, I wouldn’t have blamed her for wanting to retire then, but she persisted, and the group also persisted despite the hardships.

When the group did their 10th anniversary special, there was much muttering amongst the members about “retirement”, the result of consistent age shaming despite the fact that the two eldest were in their early thirties.

TKN: WHO DO YOU THINK WILL RETIRE FIRST?

NKY: PROBABLY ME.

AYR: DON’T SPEAK THAT INTO THE AIR!

NKY: WELL ITS THE TRUTH!

At least the drunk banter somewhat paid off.

So ten years and six retirements later, it has been assumed that RYUUSEI is pretty much over. Everybody eventually has an end, you can’t stay in your prime forever, but maybe, just maybe, even if some of them aren’t on the best of terms, we’ll get something of a reunion on June 3, 2023, if not for the sake of old fans yearning for one, but just for the sake of tying things together.

But I know as much as you do, pretty much nothing the members won’t say themselves. For now, I wish each individual member the best post-retirement, and of course, fuck KANNEZAWA NANAMI.

[shenrickyz]

phoenix debut album next 😓

[shenrickyz]

AKOGARE

WHERE love can be anything, and to jisung, it appears that love is seojun.

FEATURING ─ ksj, pjs, nct dream ensemble. WARNINGS ─ sleep deprivation, overworking, and taking medication. WORD COUNT ─ 5.7k NOTES ─ hi.. back with another coty (couple of the year) post that isn't plot and is simply my detailed appreciation for them despite the fact that one of them is indeed not real 😊😊 i miss seojun.. and also im jisung biased, and also this is incredibly self indulgent, i could write an essay on them, on their dynamic, on random details about their relationship that no one cares for 🙁 i hold them very very dearly to my heart 🫶 if your wondering, no, there will never be no seoji left over to write, nominate them for the coty awards please ☺️

jisung likes to think he's somewhat of a seojun encyclopedia.

it's not that he's obsessive or is constantly grilling the older for spontaneous factoids, jisung simply listens, that really is the staple of their relationship. seojun talks and jisung listens, occasionally it might be vice versa, but it usually never is.

it also isn't as if seojun tells everyone everything about him, if you strip away his natural sense of exuberance, he's a pretty private guy. jisung just has a great deal of knowledge because of their flurry of late night secret sharing as well as the acute focus he seems to have for everything.. well, him.

there's a lot to seojun that is as basic as it is easy to understand. he usually likes darker shades of colors, not exactly black, but he prefers dimmer shades of blue and grey. he adores shades of white reminiscent of snowfall, seojun loves snow, his pupils always dilate as if he's a child seeing it for the first time.

there are many things seojun likes, the word 'like' is a weak term for the passion he has for each of them in particular though. he likes your usual things; strawberries, snow, skiing, renjun's dumb cardigans, motorcycles, penguins, old martial arts movies, charm bracelets, things that any person could easily derive if they simply stare idly for almost hours in the same manner jisung does.

and it's not that jisung enjoys staring at seojun for practically hours on end, he just can't help himself. seojun doesn't have to do anything fantastic, he can just sit around and make a shitty joke that wouldn't usually get laughs, yet jisung would stare fascinated.

it's like an itch, a terrible habit that he just can't get rid of no matter how much he tries. maybe he doesn't want to, it isn't as if he's good at hiding his habit, he simply can't help when it happens.

he knows that seojun knows, seojun is terrifyingly observant, he's clocked things about jisung that he himself doesn't even register for a while. he finds the older weirdly frightening in some senses..

but jisung loves seojun either way.

knowing someone for almost eleven years makes you pretty much susceptible to the specific habits they perform. they range from the usual hair tugging, fiddling with jewelry, scratching at his arms, and always, always pulling all nighters.

which is why today, this prospect is strange.

seojun falls asleep before jisung.

okay, he isn't asleep yet, he's just lying on jisung's lap with his eyes closed, not exactly asleep, but he could slip at literally any time.

jisung first noticed something was up when the older wasn't his usual energetic self after their concert wrapped up. he hung out backstage with his head kept down, uncharacteristic silence taking over him.

"are you okay?" jisung recalls inquiring, lightly nudging him with his shoulder. the older offered a lazy smile as he nodded, a small breath leaving his lips.

"yeah, just a little tired, i'm happy the first day was successful".

jisung was able to believe that for a while,

well not until seojun completely passed out on top of him after they got home.

but seojun isn't asleep just yet, he simply lays there on jisung's lap. the strange exhaustion doesn't go past him, but how does he bring up that it's weird for seojun to be tired? every idol in some way shape or form is tired. jisung is tired currently.

"hey, is everything okay?"

seojun cracks one eye open, clearing his throat. "tired".

"well obviously but you never sleep before me" jisung states, swallowing down nothing as the older simply sighs, keeping himself in the same place. seojun's hair is soft, and jisung can't help but run his fingers through the strands.

seojun's eyes again flutter shut, he makes himself comfortable in the other's lap. jisung continues staring down, and seojun chuckles knowingly.

"can you stop looking at me like that?"

jisung's eyes narrow. "i'm just pretty confused by this.."

seojun rolls over, laying on his back as he stares up at jisung. he pinches the bridge of his nose, again sighing. "it's my new medication" he mutters.

jisung blinks, and seojun waves a dismissive hand in the air. "it tires me out quickly because seorin says my sleeping problems make me look dead".

"i mean.. is she wrong?"

seojun swats a hand his way, and jisung is only graciously able to dodge such a move because he's above the older. "anyway, i'm loopy, can't even feel my limbs".

"is that a side effect?"

"no the side effect is exhaustion" his eyes again flutter closed, no sign of an upcoming smile on his face.

jisung stares as if the older just grew two his heads, but seojun doesn't see that, he simply rolls over again to make himself comfortable lying on the other. "good night".

"you can't sleep on me".

seojun seems offended by such a prospect, he snorts. "just for the time being?"

"let me move you".

seojun would decline to such an offer if this was any other regular day where he was pulling any other regular all nighter, but it isn't, so he silently agrees with a small hum.

how strange.

jisung doesn't exactly ask the correct question, though.

—

seojun loathes taking medication.

it's actually amazing if anyone can get him to swallow pills in the first place. if there is anything the older is, it's stubborn.. and also completely terrified of swallowing pills. 'they make him feel sick' he likes to say.

not even jisung can convince him enough every time, and jisung could pretty much convince seojun into anything with enough pleading and blinking of his huge eyes.

anxiety is the main culprit, he's been on medication for it since before his debut. again, he absolutely hates it. jisung would also say he's scared but he gets extremely defensive about that part because he describes himself as "fearless" (or he's just terrified of no one seeing him as such).

seojun stares at the bottle full of tablets, nose scrunching as he pushes it forward. "i'm not taking this".

there's that usual hikari sigh, the older leveling at seojun with a stare bordering on disappointment.

it was right before we young era that antidepressants came into the mix. seojun took the whole parent approach to it, how could he be depressed when he was easily the cheeriest member? it made absolutely no sense!

jisung could only stare.

"seojun, don't make this difficult".

seojun crosses his arms, stubbornness through the roof. "it'll make me tired! or dizzy! what if i trip during practice?"

"i'm sure that won't be the case".

jisung has never seen the once burning gaze seojun shared with hikari in that moment ever again, he gets a specific kind of obedient when it comes to him in specific, but that day, that day there just seemed to be something different in the air.

"you don't know everything".

it was the bite back that also happened to be the final blow, as hikari sucked his teeth, tugging at his shirt, exhausted out of his mind. "fine, we can talk about it in the morning".

seojun didn't even attempt a glance.

"what's the problem?"

jisung couldn't help but whisper, it felt like he was afraid of something, and he really has no idea what it might've been, but it was a lingering afterthought.

seojun paused for a moment before picking up the bottle, shaking it back and forth. "it's stupid, i don't want to take it".

it's stupid, strange choice of words.

jisung blinked, contemplating his response with a frown stuck to his face. "you're scared".

seojun scoffed, attempting a display of bravery with all his fifteen year old timidity shining through. "no i'm not".

the words were clearly offensive, the knitting of his eyebrows gave him away.

jisung kept his arguments to himself, instead taking a different approach. "you heard hiki hyung, you have to take them".

"i don't want to".

"then how do you expect to feel better?"

"i don't.. it doesn't matter".

it does to me, and to everyone else, i want you to be happy, why don't you?

the words died down in jisung's throat, nothing but his own fear displayed by the glance of his eyes. "please?"

seojun froze, as if almost perturbed by jisung being worried for him. he turned up his nose and decided the stubborn route was the way to go, as if he could ever deny anything jisung handed his way. "no".

jisung knew he was getting somewhere by that point, this time, his 'no' was less assured, a good sign. he braced his hands onto the counter, gaze focused on the bottle. seojun eyes narrowed, his face scrunching up into something ugly. "do you really think i'm gonna just take it because you said please?"

he really gave himself away with that one.

that's when jisung realized his.. privilege, his power over seojun that he didn't exactly check until the older muttered those words that one night. his lips twitched in a manner he couldn't exactly explain. "come on.. please?"

he took both of seojun's hands into his own, watching as the older tensed for a moment. "hey, i'll be here, i can help, i know you don't really like.. this".

there's a loud sigh, seojun immediately averting his gaze, suddenly very interested in the kitchen cupboards. the older contemplated, avoiding eye contact with the bottle of tablets on the counter as well as the maknae.

"can you stop looking at me like that?"

"i'll stop when you take your medication".

seojun crinkled his nose, but the defiance slowly slipped from his expression. bingo, jisung got him right where he needed to.

"just for today, and if it doesn't work then we can go back and ask, i'll go with you even!"

seojun's face finally fell for one last time, and he sighed. "fine",

jisung smiled.

"just stop being so annoying" his smile stayed fixed, even as the other slipped their intertwined fingers out of each other's grasp.

jisung offered a snicker. it didn't exactly matter if he was being 'annoying' anyway, he still got what he wanted.

and maybe if there happened to be the ghost of a grin there, seojun didn't plan on divulging it.

seojun's relationship with affection is usual.

and by 'usual', jisung just means he controls it better than someone like haechan. seojun loves hugs, loves kisses, gift giving, cooking for people, taking care of people (discreetly though), slyly matching items, all the regular.

jisung has never been that keen, but seojun has an astounding effect, as he's found it mundane to receive, and even respond to affection from the older.

jisung can best describe seojun's affection as.. soft. not rough hugs reminiscent of jeno's bone crushing ones, but simply solacing hugs, the kind that the maknae feels as if he could easily fall asleep in.

he longs for hugs from seojun, in the strangest way possible, they erase all of the unease, allow for him to let out a very needed breath of fresh air, let him relax after a days worth of stress.

there's also kisses, cheeks, foreheads, hands, occasionally the side of the neck (though those went out of fashion, jisung isn't sure why he misses them as much as he does), they aren't as regular as hugs or fleeting touches on the waist, but they do come up from time to time.

they always catch jisung off guard, seojun has never exactly been predictable in any way, and spontaneous kisses simply add to that.

but of course, it's not all the time. kissing is really the strangest gesture of affection with seojun, because for all of the love he has towards the members, kissing is as rare as it is minuscule, something seojun has never commented on.

(and don't tell anyone, but jisung just awaits for the next time they randomly spring up on him once again).

seojun looks awfully pretty during dive into you, it's.. it's simply something jisung can't explain. he can't resist the urge to knock their knees together, it's his nudge to something, he isn't exactly sure what 'something' might be, but something is good enough for the vague feeling he has.

they can't exactly whisper while on stage, so they communicate between judging eyes. a sneaky hand coming around to pinch the side of his waist, just barely squeezing a wince out of jisung, but he manages to keep his composure enough that all he receives are strange (yet knowing) glances from the members.

and what are they doing exactly? jisung has no idea, he just knows that it's nice. it's nice to catch a glance at seojun up close, the makeup artists did a good job with accentuating his pretty features, even if jisung feels that he'd be just fine without all of it caking his face. his hair has always been pretty, jisung will fight anyone who brings a pair of scissors near it, it's perfect the way it is. the barrage of golden jewelry wrapped both around his neck and his wrists simply amplify under the overly heated stage lights cascaded above.

jisung admires for a bit too long, so long that he almost forgets a few of his lines. watching him shake back into singing is amusing to seojun, if his cute little smiles aren't enough to sell that one.

jisung lets himself nestle closer, comfortably holding onto the older, whose always been good at multitasking.

"even the moonlight glowing on your cheek is annoying me" seojun sings, fingers softly scratching at the material of his outfit. "i wanna be closer to you than that.." a thumb slides across his cheek. "closer".

his smile remains as he brings jisung's hand closer to press a kiss atop his knuckles, slipping by quickly and missing the maknae's reaction to such a prospect.

his eyes widen immediately as his cheeks betray the serenity he attempts to make face with, mind scrambled. did he just—

seojun busies himself trying to get jeno and jaemin to crack, feigning obliviousness to jisung's current inner turmoil. he manages to avoid glances, trying his best to think clearly about it all.

except he can't not think about it.

the last time seojun kissed jisung in any way was at the ending ment of the dream show, jisung was practically choking on his sobs, just barely able to register the older pressing kisses to his forehead, he was afraid of losing dream, and seojun did the only thing he knew to do, the only thing on his mind being to comfort the youngest.

and yeah, that was like three years ago, curse jisung for keeping track of something like that but he just finds it surprising.

not surprising in a bad way, again, it's about the unpredictability of it all.

maybe unpredictability is apart of his charm.

he itches to bring it up, but he keeps quiet when he glances over at seojun and the older offers his pretty smile. so he allows for silence to consume him until everyone disperses and he can find a comfortable time to talk about it.

"what was that?" he's finally able to ask in the dead of night, face buried into the cotton of seojun's pajama shirt. "earlier during the show.."

seojun raises an eyebrow. "what? you have to be more specific".

jisung's face scrunches, seojun just wants him to say it, the stupid smile on his lips says it all. he shies away from the older's eyes, suddenly flustered as a red tint blushes against his skin. seojun chuckles in his usual all knowing manner, much too acclimated with jisung's particular peculiarities.

the maknae clears his throat, attempting to make his blush unnoticeable. "the kiss.."

"the what? speak up".

jisung grumbles something under his breath, lightly pushing seojun as he crosses his arms. seojun is completely amused, his smile distracting jisung from his lethargic demeanor.

it's terrible, it shouldn't effect him as much. seojun is simply smiling, no makeup, exhaustion behind his eyes, a shirt that's just a little big for him (ordering mistake, he was definitely on an hour of sleep when he decided to get it). jisung is angry, there's no need for him to look so pretty, right before they're about to go to sleep..

"the kiss, on my hand, during dive into you?"

"ohhhh" seojun's feigned confusion is irritating, if jisung wasn't jisung, he would've totally aimed for a punch at the shoulder. "that? your asking me about it now?"

jisung opts to nodding silently. "don't know, guess i was just a little surprised".

"your reactions are priceless, it's so easy to get you red!"

"stop pinching me, you're so—"

"annoying? okay, sure" seojun crosses his arms and lets go of jisung, feigning irritation at the unsaid words. jisung sucks his teeth, drawing a small snort from the other. "anyway, don't act like you didn't blush when i did it".

"just wasn't expecting that" jisung's cheeks remain a shade of red, and if seojun notices, well he keeps his mouth shut. "don't be so full of yourself.."

except seojun really has every right to be full of himself, he's aware of how easy jisung slips, how he simply has jisung wrapped around his finger with just his pretty smile. jisung is starkly giving himself away, or maybe he isn't and seojun is a mind reader like he's always secretly suspected.

"i don't think you of all people should tell me that".

see? mind reader.

seojun hums, practically sensing jisung's thoughts. "..so? are you planning to sleep in my bed tonight?"

jisung sucks his teeth, opting to cross his arms defensively. screw his extensive sleeping problems, he has to be stubborn enough that it seems real. he rises from his spot and trudges over to his own bed, sitting unnaturally in the square middle.

his hands are placed into his lap, and seojun begins silently giggling from where he lays against his pillows. "stop laughing".

"i'm not laughing at you".

what a lie, jisung's lips turn downward as he sinks into the hotel bedding. he ignores the older's prying eyes, hearing yet another snicker.

his face twitches, he has to stay stubborn, he can't fall for his charm just yet. seojun again snorts, crossing his legs as he begins getting busy on his phone, it's only ten pm, much too early for him to go to sleep.

jisung picks at his fingers, usually silence wouldn't be a problem, but silence with seojun literally across from him is a problem. he should be talking his ear off! this is ridiculous!

jisung's facial muscles twitch once again, no he's not pissed off because he's getting ignored, it's just.. he's not an attention seeker okay?

but jisung can't help it, he scrunches his nose and stands from his place, trudging over to seojun's bed and sitting down beside him in a silent display of his clear irritation.

seojun doesn't even have to look up, yet he chuckles anyway. "took you five minutes".

"shut up" the argument is useless, but jisung tries anyway, struggling to not crumble under seojun's gaze. "i have sleeping problems" he whispers, arms again crossed.

seojun snorts, shoulder nudging jisung's. "or you just have a crush on me".

jisung scoffs enough that he's able to convince himself it's real. that would be crazy, what kind of person develops a crush on their bandmate? that would be stupid. "no i don't".

seojun seems shocked by such a revelation. "okay, just don't go back on your words in a few weeks yeah?"

"what are you a psychic too now?"

seojun simply hums, he seems to find that one funny.

the scariest part is that seojun is terribly good at predicting the future.

it's barely a full three weeks later that jisung really registers the words, and even then he attempts to allow for his denial to carry through.

because it's strange with seojun, what would having a crush even mean? would it mean dating afterward? does seojun even..

well jisung shouldn't fixate on that too much, why would seojun even tell him that? it's like most things with the older, it seems he'd prefer to keep it a mystery, endlessly hint yet never discreetly explain anything.

so jisung approaches it with.. well— nothing. he keeps the words tucked away in the deepest corners of his mind.

the thing about this crush is that jisung knows it won't just go away. jisung is aware of the kinds there are, this isn't a cute little crush you have on one of the older members much more akin to admiration (seojun used to have one of those on jeno, he told jisung right before debut that he was so nice he couldn't help it, the crush slowly developed as more of appreciation over the years).

no, jisung knows it's more than that. simple veneration can't encapsulate it all, he thinks it equates to a larger feeling of affection.

istj will be released in a few days, yet jisung can barely focus on comeback preparations or the closing of the tour. maybe it's stupid to be hyper fixating on something you otherwise would've assumed was small, but it's not, it can't be small.

because it can't be small when it comes to seojun. potential mind reading powers aside, he's practically a genius when it comes to stuff like this, jisung's half convinced he's got cameras behind his eyes or something. he has to have the most picturesque memory jisung has ever seen, he picks up on everything, the single twitching of a facial muscle is akin to striking gold. sometimes, he makes jisung feel as if he's going insane.

and the thing is, he knows that seojun knows. it's terrifying how much seojun really knows, he keeps up regular smiles around the members and goes on performing his regular seojun gestures.

yeah, maybe jisung's simply afraid of the imminent threat of rejection, but he fears seojun's own muddled thought process on a much larger scale. it's scary when the one person who practically knows all of your thoughts is so difficult to decode in themselves. he's scared.

but what is there to be scared of? this is kang seojun. his best friend with a history of sneaking out to buy convenience store snacks during practice, writing letters to his future self, getting everyone gifts literal months before their own birthdays, the seojun who jisung can pretty much credit for the fact that he was able to comfortably sleep during the cursed trainee days considering the amount of times he crashed in his bed when in the middle of an insomniac episode.

really, he should be.. glad?

except he's anxious, anxious about the member he should be least anxious about.

and of course, it's like seojun appears with his stupid smile the moment jisung is just the slightest bit confused about pretty much everything.

"are you alright?" seojun is laying upside down, gaze fixated on his screen, yet attention keen on his same aged groupmate. he doesn't even have to look at jisung, it's ridiculous.

"what?"

seojun snorts, tossing his phone despite keeping himself remained upside down. "is it that pre-comeback week anxiety again? you seem on edge".

of course i am, you correctly predicted i had a crush on you and i just realized i've probably been in love with you since if i was fifteen.

jisung cops a glance, a small snicker falling from his lips. seojun turns up his nose, he looks rather cute cascaded the wrong way, hair left sprawled on the couch cushions. "it's nothing.."

"park jisung" if the younger freezes in his spot, then he hopes seojun doesn't pick up on such a fleeting moment. smoothly, seojun flips himself back right side up, straightening his posture and patting the empty spot beside him. "it's too late for excuses, tell me what's bothering you".

it's you, you're bothering me, please stop.

jisung keeps in his spot for a second, finally snapping back into regular human thoughts as he sits as far as he can from seojun, hands placed in his lap as he attempts to avoid eye contact. it's proven unsuccessful, the older's got those burning eyes that he can't just shy away from.

seojun takes the initiative, scooting closer and bumping into the younger, knees knocking together in their usual fashion. he stares for a few, then smiles. "you look amazing in blue".

did he just—

he just changed the subject when he asked the question! what the hell!? jisung is sure seojun is trying at the whole insanity thing, big eyes blinking in pure engrossment at the new hue of his hair. blue is his favorite color, the dimmed shade of jisung's own hair could account for one of his favorite sights of the year.

"blue is your favorite color" he opts to respond, seojun's eyes don't yet flitter, but there's that shine which jisung parrots in his own.

"no it's not".

"should i keep it blue?"

"yep, for the next seventy five years".

"seventy five is excessive" jisung argues, the conversation is stupid, he almost impulsively leans in as a way of shutting him up. "my hair will fall out".

"you're gonna have to be bald anyway, enlistment is a curse".

jisung swears under his breath. "you can't cut your hair, that would be like.. a streak of bad luck".

"or you just love it so much".

jisung bites into his cheek. "didn't say that".

"right, if our stylist noona's cut my hair you would cry".

jisung's gasp is offended by the accusation, the prospect of him tearing up at seojun's hair being cut isn't exactly all that farfetched though.

seojun giggles at the thought, shoving jisung by his shoulder. he looks pretty, it's nothing but a black tshirt and sweatpants, oh jisung hates himself. "you're still such a crybaby".

jisung would typically pout at such a statement, but there's definitely a much more important thing on his mind. "seojunie".

"hm?"

"ithinki'minlovewithyou".

though someone with absolutely no context would think that seojun was clueless, the twitch of his lips alerts jisung to the fact that he heard all of that. he crosses his arms, feigned uncertainty behind his blink.

"you have to speak up, i'm hard of hearing" oh the stupid tone of his voice, jisung wants to die, actually no he doesn't, seojun's laughter is simply so entertaining. jisung's cheeks burn a bright red, and seojun just barely bites back a snicker at the sight. he keeps himself sat up, arms remaining crossed, gaze completely focused.

jisung clenches his fist, oh he wants to punch him so bad, seojun is stupid, so stupid. you like him though, you like him so much, isn't he adorable?

"i think you were right.." jisung mumbles. "i have a crush on you.."

seojun allows for the silence to consume the room for a moment, and jisung again thinks it'd all be much easier if he just fainted onto the floor. the older is staring a bit too hard, his eyes hold that look which is indecipherable, but that's when jisung captures it, the gleam of pure affection, fondness, love, it's adorable.

"aww, do you jisungie?"

"you aren't supposed to make fun of me.."

seojun again laughs, as if jisung's feelings are amusing. "i'm not! you're just so cute".

jisung opts to burying his rapidly heating face in seojun's lap, the older bringing his hands to cart through his hair. "it's embarrassing.."

"really? now i'm offended".

jisung peaks from his frankly terrible hiding spot, blinking at seojun with enough chagrin accompanying his glance it gets his point across. "you know that's not what i mean.. it's just—" jisung can't even help himself anymore, he shies away from the older's eyes insistently. "how did you even know?"

seojun snorts, jisung still feels as if there's amusement behind his eyes. "because you're so obvious, think you were probably the last one to find out, everyone knows already".

"don't say that".

"okay, i won't.."

seojun's eye twitches momentarily, his fingers coming to poke at jisung's stomach, giggling at the knee jerk reaction from the other. his lips curve upward, it's simply so easy, jisung is simply so easy.

jisung keeps his hands clutched at his front, a glower that is so gentle it can barely even be considered threatening.

seojun's hands find purchase on jisung's shoulders, a smile tugging at his lips. "you know, i like you too.."

jisung pouts, nothing substantial though. "it would be scarier if you didn't".

seojun laughs, head tipping downward and eyes fluttering closed. "you knew i wasn't going to reject you".

"not really".

jisung doesn't say more, simply lays down onto seojun, legs coming up to his chest as he allows for the other to continue his hair stroking ministrations. his cheek presses into seojun's leg, but then he has to ask one more thing;

"does this mean dating?"

he isn't sure why his stomach drops at the responding look, seojun's taps on the couch, jisung passes him his phone. "i would hope so, unless you want us to become like hiki and jeno hyung".

jisung crinkles his nose, shuffling upward. "no, i like dating i like.. yeah, it's all good".

seojun's smile reaches his eyes, it's very pretty. "you better keep your hair blue".

the whisper earns a giggle, sometimes, jisung enjoys noise, or maybe just noise from seojun is what he enjoys.

the thing about dating your best friend is that nothing exactly changes.

it's not a negative prospect really, jisung finds that he really just enjoys the label. boyfriend is much cuter than he originally expected, though dating has always been the shallow end of the reservoir, jisung doesn't exactly think it's bad.

seojun, with all of his experience, is also still fairly new to the idea, jisung guesses he's just better at making sense of it all.

they don't say it in any way, but they're sure the members have picked up on their sudden change of mode. jisung is sure seojun hasn't told any of them, considering he couldn't keep a secret of that state for that long, he'd probably blurt it out in a moment of guilt.

the members are observant enough that they don't have to verbally reach for an answer, just silently congratulating them on their newly acquired relationship.

the affection remains mundane, hand holding simply lingers, stares get much too love like and jisung has to remind himself that he can't just kiss seojun in front of everyone (well he can, but he'd rather be smart with his decisions).

it's funny, but it's also cute, jisung likes it.

he's midway through monitoring their performance when the older decides it's his time to suddenly spring out of nowhere, arms coming around him and chin placed on his shoulder. jisung doesn't have to glance backward to know who it is, simply his manner of affection is recognizable in its all.

"been here for a few minutes.." he mumbles, jisung hums as he keeps the ipad at a steady angle, gaze stuck on the repetitive choreography. "something wrong?"

"wanna make sure we're in sync" jisung replies, the older simply keeps them pressed together as his silent response to that one.

"we're gonna do another take anyway".

"reassurance".

when jisung glances at him, seojun is just the slightest bit closer, and he shyly retreats, despite their history, jisung is still mousy at the depiction of much closer affection, it's new. seojun blinks, feigned innocence behind his pretty smile.

jisung so badly wants to, but he'd rather keep the both of them safe. he comes to intertwine their fingers, a quick glance to the other members. "there are cameras" he whispers, he assumes this sight will be taken terribly out of context.. if there even is correct context here.

seojun snickers. "what? did you think i was going to kiss you or something?"

jisung's cheeks burn a bright red, denial instantly replacing his blood. "no! i just.. people might get the wrong idea".

seojun's smile is much too contagious, and jisung feels there's an evident lack of warmth when his arms slip from his waist. his hands come behind his back, clasping together in a small sound. "i see".

"don't pout i'm not rejecting you!"

his fake sobs draw glances from a few of the members. "you don't love me!"

jisung sighs, the over-dramatization of his emotions is its own double edged sword, it can be cute when it isn't against him. he pouts himself, and seojun can barely contains his giggles. "aww, can't you forgive me?"

seojun instead keeps up the attitude.

it isn't until the near end of recording studio choom that they interact again, sliding down the wall, jisung scoots closer and leans against seojun, opting to begin the affection this time.

seojun is listening to music, one of his eyes opening to see jisung. the younger has his cheek pressed to his shoulder, the rest of the members mumbling fading into the background, the other blinking. "hi".

"hi" he whispers back, his gaze focused on the earbuds. "what are listening to?" he inquires, just the slightest bit tired.

seojun doesn't answer verbally, simply removes one of his earbuds and offers it to jisung, who hesitates before allowing him to do so.

jisung again snakes his hand downward, intertwining their fingers. "what song is this?"

"akogare by taeko onuki" he states, jisung's eyebrows furrow, he seems to sense the querying movement. "hiki hyung recommended it".

"it's.. nice".

"it's not your thing".

jisung chuckles at seojun's snort, his eyes narrowing. "still, it's nice".

seojun raises an eyebrow, clicking his tongue. "you aren't just saying that because you like me?"

jisung stares for a moment, his eyes are very pretty, the music eventually fading into its own background noise. he takes a moment to think, not because he doesn't know his answer, but because he enjoys admiring seojun. "no, it's nice, i like you for more than just music taste".

seojun hums, tilting his head, maybe just a slight fracture in his usually tranquil image, the beginnings of a blush spreading across his face. "keep your hair blue forever" he spontaneously speaks.

jisung shrugs. "i'll think about it".

he's not lying, really, he isn't.

[m3loria]

. . . and this one?

okay, it's pretty obvious. ocean bliss is a typical summer album name, a term which summarizes the joy emanating from sunny days, splashing in the ocean, vacation, drinking, it's an album which encapsulates the essence of stretching weeks shattered in heat.

. . .     % just two months after their debut album, ocean bliss was released on july eighth twenty twenty. again, somewhat unexpected, the release was much quicker than most fans of this new group expected, it was said to have been released "too early", people accusing the company of purposefully releasing projects early as a way of permeating the charts, it was "too much music" apparently, but despite the silent outcry, there was also much excitement. in contrast to the prior, this album only includes four tracks, each of them completely capturing the essence of summer fun.

. . . ▸ yet again coming around to attempt a hit to the title track, chasing summer is the album opener coming to save it all. it's so fun, so very fun, i have to get up and bust a move not gonna lie. penned by one of the summer children, hajoon, it's clear he knew what he had to do. not sure who their musical director is, but they made a mistake not having this be the title, it isn't always this good.

. . . ▸ apparently stressing the summer fun name over and over, attention! is the titular title track. though not a favorite of mine, it's much different from the groups last title track, a clear statement to the journey the groups musical direction will take in the future. it's a nice song to play on the summer night, windows left open as you drive at speeds unknown to man (do not do that, i don't endorse driving past the speed limit), i would say it deserves a crown.

. . . ▸ simply your typical summer party song, illusion details that of late night outings and getting blackout drunk, funny because only six members could probably legally drink at this time. written, produced, and arranged by again our main vocalist duo of yohan & hwan, the song was conceived literally in the middle of the night, three am in the music studio of louvix audio, maybe they snuck in a few drinks as well, some of these lyrics seem to truly amplify that fact.

. . . ▸ surprisingly already at an end, sea is a song which can give you anything. euphoria, sorrow, regret, it can give you all in one. though upbeat at a first listen, once it truly begins to settle in, you digest the dejection which entails the ending of summer, somewhat of a melancholic closing to an album that had been full of songs which were littered with happiness. seemingly in his feelings, this one included participation from kyuhyun, who also arranged the lyrics.

. . .     % era notes

attention! definitely grew more than their prior title track, it was their second number one single on the gaon digital chart, holding the spot for three consecutive weeks, the single earned seven wins in it's two week promotion period

the album also did better than their prior one, surpassing 370,000 copies in pre-orders in three days, the day before it's release, it had reached 500,000 units in pre-orders

it was certified platinum by the korean music content association on august twenty four twenty twenty after it surpassed 750,000 units in sales

sea became their most streamed song of the year following the release of the album, and it remains one of their most streamed on spotify, with over seven million streams

memorable era moments

byeol forgetting the lyrics of the title track in their fanchant guide video

taro breaking the trophy at their first win, quite literally almost bursting into tears when he realized, then proceeding to burst into tears when making eye contact with the mc

"the songs are tamer now, so stop complaining" - junmin (vlive; 07.12.20)

the start of their most well known variety shows, luminosity & chronicles of meliora [com]

the groups first mafia game, which lead to probably the loudest argument in meliora history, an argument that almost became a brawl, which was then broken up by their manager in great fear

their manager earning his own little fandom after z called him "the most handsome guy i've seen in a WHILE!"

"we are not getting paid! venmo us!" - haneul (vlive; 07.20.20) (he had to confirm he was joking to quell worries)

[soleilis]

﹙ ✦ ﹚ a fiery renaissance . . . each singular piece of phoenix is important to the formation of a fiery rebirth, a renaissance marked by the circle of flames surrounding it's figure, whether good or bad, it's either twelve or nothing, think of it as some highly manufactured contraption, every piece matters.

. . . ⭑ the leader

kiarra is synonymous with the concerned furrowing of eyebrows, she is a worrier through and through, compassion naturally coursing in the blood running continuously among her veins. she keeps the confrontation at a minimum, less of condescension and more of disquietude. it appears to her that the leader role is a wobbling stool just about to collapse under her feet, and when it does, she won't be able to handle the pressure.

born 05.10.01, described as loving, compassionate & concerned, positioned as leader, main dance, sub vocal, played by kwon nayeon.

. . . 𖤐 the star

jiyeon remains a force of nature. her strength outweighs the sweetness of her smile, the action typically drawing perturbation from those outside. her perfectionism is her biggest flaw, because for all the fortitude, the act crumbles when she is pushed too far, when the prodigious power slips from her fingertips, what can she do but break down? what happens when the star can no longer shine?

born 08.19.01, described as resilient, vigorous & notable, positioned as lead vocal, lead dance, played by kim minjeong.

. . . ꕤ the hapless

madoka is prone to messes, nothing of a four leaf clover on her side, it's more akin to a collection of black cats perched atop her windowsill, shards of glasses from her broken mirror spread across the floor. though masked by sugary delights, she can't help her scoffs, the twitch of her facial muscles and suffocation of her expressions barely get past anyone, she too often lets herself be put alongside the effervescent feeling of vulnerability, but if they attack, she won't be afraid to let blood paint her hands.

born 12.20.01, described as cataclysmic, blissful & tenacious, positioned as lead dance, lead rap, played by honda hitomi.

. . . ଘ  the servile

eleanor keeps her blood pumping organ as the ruler of her several mannerisms, the only way to fit is to let the others reign above. they step all over her, belittle her, figuratively stab until all that's left is her crushed resolve, and she simply allows for it to happen. how amusing, disliking others yet almost bending to their whims whenever met with them, her squeamish nature cracking her down piece by piece. she doesn't enjoy the divulgence aspect, yet the feelings always appear to pour out against her will.

born 02.02.02, described as obsequious, amiable & abashed, positioned as main vocal, played by moriya rena.

. . . ❥  the sanguine

gianna can bring the assurance you need to the table, though far from fully equanimous, such an adjective could be an appropriate term. she's a good voice of reason, despite the clear difference which can't help but lace her expressions, she has the ability to calm most situations. her mind can equate to a scrambled mess, though the tranquility outshines the villainy she's portrayed to possess.

born 03.20.02, described as assertive, self aware & prideful, positioned as main dance, lead vocal, center, played by noh hyojung.

. . . ꥟  the scornful

narae really isn't all that bad, the abrasion may put you off for the first few weeks, but she's not all that. she's sure of what she deserves, and she remains self assured no matter the challenge thrown her way. if you peel back the layers, there's the realization that she can be amusing, a pleasant person to be around, hardworking, that one is a clear distinction. the nose scrunches and glares may be excessive, but is there something necessarily wrong with staying on your feet?

born 10.29.02, described as domineering, diligent & mystifying, positioned as main vocal, lead rap, played by lee chaeyoung.

. . . ᪥  the actress

yinuo often has her traits attributed to the several fronts she keeps screwed up. though bashful in some cases, she can be a loud mouth, uninhibited, her mind trails off much too often for her to take the time to genuinely take thought. the thrusting into fame at such a young age fucked with her mentally, and maybe that's why she constantly feels the need to put up an act. everyone already does it anyway . .

born 11.09.02, described as impulsive, theatrical & unsure, positioned as lead vocal, lead rap, visual, played by zhou xinyu.

. . . ✧  the audacious

hyejin is ready for anything you'll throw her way, sometimes, people feel as if she's an alien who crash landed on earth by accident, her fearlessness seems to extend as far as her questionable choice of words. she doesn't pick sides, if there's a fight, she's simply awaiting the oncoming punches. grins are permanent marks across her facial features, snickers a taunting sound, it's clear that she remains a topical figure.

born 11.28.02, described as daring, valorous & aberrant, positioned as main dance, lead vocal, played by baek jiheon.

. . . 𖦹   the curious

eunbyul is best characterized by the inquiring scrunch of her nose, something of a curious cat you can say, it just seems to be a mystery on if the intrigue will be her very own downfall. of course, the slightest bit of naivety carries her forward, an uncanny trust in those who seemingly don't like her. she wants to prove she can be more than a tool, but the believability of that fluctuates as much as her own childlike curiosity.

born 01.02.03, described as gullible, probing & amicable, positioned as lead rap, sub vocal, played by kim suyeon.

. . . ❅   the analytical

moeka thinks if she were left alone with her own thoughts, insanity would soon follow. she's the kind of person who thinks deeply, scrutinizing every single detail of every possible situation. there's always an undertone, always something off about the movement of someone's eyes, it's terrifying in a way, it seems everyone is strange in one way or another. she knows much more than she lets out, courtesy of her endless listening.

born 07.17.03, described as methodical, picturesque & reticent, positioned as lead vocal, lead rap, dance, played by nagai hina.

. . . 𖧷   the artistic

honami truly only needs the muddled terms dancing around in her brain, if insanity were to follow for the previous member, prosperity would most likely follow behind her. though reserved, she's expressive through dance, analogically written song lyrics, scribbled diary entries which get the perfect look of her innermost thoughts. the anger reflects in the pressed strokes of her paintbrush, if it had a specific color, she assumes it would be red.

born 04.21.04, described as perceptive, ingenious & indecisive, positioned as main rap, lead vocal, played by hirokawa mao.

. . . ᡣ𐭩   the divine

dasom truly exemplifies her name, as if the sole mission was to aid in the excessive spread of love around her. she loves like she breaths, her hugs tight, her words stuttered, and the affection .. somewhat prevalent. it's a shame that such a good trait can simply be put off by those around her, she cares, but they don't seem to. she keeps it all completely tucked away, unable to dictate her anger towards those who deserve it. she hangs around to be a shoulder for others yet not have one of her own, she spreads love, yet can't even earn it herself.

born 05.18.04, described as mousy, affable & a peacekeeper, positioned as main vocal, maknae, played by kim jiwon.

❛  igneus saltatio ❜ . . . ‘ a fiery renaissance ’

[soleilis]

﹙ ✦ ﹚ and from the ashes she rose . . . formed by the hands of a woman who had been looking for simply vengeance, phoenix ( 피닉스 ) are the reborn subjects of one kwak seolhee, the kind of woman you can describe as ‘ a total prick ’, though you can't deny the creative expertise possessed by her mind. taking the mythological tale of the phoenix, then took the antiquated legends of witches, putting her own cute spin on the whole thing and creating the whole phoenix conglomerate.

beginning in 2017 after a company rebrand, the concept was put away immediately, the idea for a girl group shelved in favor of a boy group instead. still, seolhee would not be deterred, as she kept her position in louvix audio, she continued with her insistence, secretly collecting a group of twelve girls who the group would compose of. without the company knowing why they suddenly had an influx of female trainees, seolhee created the group with just her and the girls knowing.

with the groups initial debut cancelled as it collided with the debut of their labelmates, their creative director almost gave up, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel, their debut would fall barely a year after that, they were in the clear. through the turbulence, seolhee was somehow able to persevere enough ( she actually opted to ‘persevere’ through yelling! )

meeting the world on january twenty first twenty twenty one, the group was a full lineup of twelve split into two parts, the first subunit is called lumis ( 루미스 ), latin word for daylight consists of your run of the mill heroes, the good guys, the all-knowers, the second subunit lucid ( 맑은 ), meaning to shine in latin, are your certified bad guys, the evil ones, your worst enemies. with their concept simply consisting of ‘ witches that have beef ! ’, it made for great intrigue.

. . . the name phoenix symbolizes that of rebirth, the group will rise up from the ashes in a beautiful display of renaissance. their fandom name pixiz is a combination of the well known tales of pixies, which are those of fairies, and the addition of the letter ‘ z ’, which, in some cases, can symbolize a degree of ‘ spirituality ’.

the groups lineup, split into an equal 6-6, consists of the typical; the six lumis members astra, eden, narae, hyejin, honami, and dasom. then, the six lucid members kiarra, madoka, gianna, bea, eros, and cherry. your usual battle against good & evil full of love confessions, punches, and interesting morality deep dives. is there really genuine evil in this story? what contrasts the good characters from the bad ones? will this story have a happy ending?

phoenix represent the fire and flames, the act of vengeance, fighting for what you believe whether or not it may be right. the music itself usually isn't that deep, but the music videos, concept films, and insider album notes delve into it all in stark detail. is rejoicing better than the act of revenge? or should those who've been reborn carry on with their own malignancy in an effort to rebuild?

❛  et de cinere resurrexit ❜ . . . ‘ and then she rose from the ashes ’

[soleilis]

in the night sky it wakes up one and one . . . rising from the ashes in a divine fit of rebirth, the phoenix carried a flurry of flames in her fingertips, surrounded by a course of fire surrounding her circle, she vowed to make them pay, for a symbol of her resurgence, she would defile each of them one by one, a death for the renaissance of life, she supposes the blood painting her digits would make an astounding display.

. . . ★ or simply a study containing that of rebirth from the ashes, a battle between good & evil (but is it really that simple?), the blooming of love, and death not exactly being the end. reborn by isa.

[m3loria]

. . . what's with the name?

‘borealis’ is a word with a flurry of meanings. a borealis could apply to the northern lights aptly named the aurora borealis, taken from latin roots, you could say the word only means ‘north’, completely derived from the names given to the ancient gods of the wind.

. . .     % meeting the world on a spontaneous whim in the midst of a global pandemic, borealis was released on may first of twenty twenty. the project was completely unexpected, because after four years of silence from a company who had just had their most popular group sue their former ceo into a hefty jail sentence, did louvix audio just come out with a new group? yep, and nobody expected such a thing. composing of five tracks, it seems to be much more of an experimental album, a concept that hasn't been seen in the group for a while.. maybe we should start a petition.

. . . ▸ the opening track of the album reveal is your classic album introduction which could serve as a title track on a good day i suppose. with our beloved center hwan credited with the arrangement of the lyrics (and bless him because we got a yohan chorus). reveal can best be described as a yearning piece masked by the production put into it, the lyrics delve into the idea of going crazy over love, a love that makes you go insane, no other thoughts beside the enraptured soul nestled in your palms. or, you could just describe it as a sex tune, it sort of fits that bill pretty well.

. . . ▸ coming in as the beloved title track, snake eyed scar is the perfect encapsulation of the sin lust. the lyrics tell a story of it's own, a cursed bond which is tied by the scar connecting two souls together, again, it could simply be labeled a mindless sex tune, but in the bigger picture of things, it could also be a song detailing the connections between a toxic relationship and that of addiction. it's terrible for you, cracks your features and breaks you down one by one, yet you continue going back for me regardless of the hurt which follows.

. . . ▸ following behind the steps of the title track, salty narrates the bitter taste of love on one's tongue, it tells a literal story of a couple who can't get over each other no matter how much they try. the prospect of having to move on with the feeling of longing remaining etched in your mind is as distasteful of the bitter lingering of salt on your tongue, a taunting tune that seems to have been created to try to convince people to text their ex, and if they did.. well, we can all guess where that went. with lyrics penned by our beloved leader yohan, we can assume he probably missed his own.

. . . ▸ expressing the clear intention of ‘slutty music’, 119 contains everything such a song needs, breathy backing vocals, hip thrusts, undeniably questionable lyrics, the whole shebang. performed by members yohan, junmin, hajoon, kyrie, and haneul, you could really just call this one a sex tune, hajoon would be inclined to agree! just don't ask them to explain what it means, they'll freeze and attempt to stutter out a response whilst haneul " slyly " reenacts sex positions with his fingers.

. . . ▸ now coming to a startlingly quick end, the album closes with moondance, a tune which repeats through excessive adlibs (hwan put in that work!) that love could be equivalent to the beauty of the moon, even with the production and the very not needed dance, it's sort of beautiful? the love of their partner could be comparable to that of the moon's atmosphere, a source of light which is all that's needed. " if our love was equivalent to the stars , you would be the earth , and in every universe , i would be your orbiting moon ", shit makes me want to die.

. . .     % era notes

though it's often hailed as one of their best title tracks, snake eyed scar garnered only three wins over a two week promotion period, it's their title track with the least wins

it is also the album with the least amount of member participation, the only members involved in writing and production are our two main vocals, yohan and hwan, who are credited on reveal and salty respectively

the album didn't do much well in pre-orders, but in day of it's release, it sold 240,000 units, debuting at number 7 on the gaon album chart, it then shot up to number 2 after a week, the album holds the ninth spot as one of the best selling albums of 2020 with a total of 806,637 units sold

the lead single would do moderately well, landing at number 6 and 12 on digital charts respectively, it was actually the third song of the album, salty which would completely overtake the digital singles charts, debuting at number one at the gaon digital chart and remaining at the number one spot for six consecutive weeks, it became the best performing single that may

okay, now onto memorable era moments

yohan pulling himself from every single version of the album, cue the narcissist allegations when he decided to keep all of his photocards

meliora's first ot13 vlive!! (05.02.20) which drew out member fact sharing, including the members stark descriptions of each other (cut to the members calling haneul a ‘slightly dimwitted sweetheart’).

the group getting their second vlive deleted because they broke half the rules, most of the vlives from this era, excluding their first one, have been taken down because of their insistence to not follow the rules

yohan not even being able to announce the fandom name because the members were arguing over designs for their lightstick

the members all descending into a loud flurry of madness because junmin swore once in their fanchat guide video

the groups first encore stage being less of an encore stage because they were contemplating on if they should switch parts or not (they spent half the time not singing and byeol was choking on his tears the entire time)

[shenrickyz]

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚. . . a quick soloist deep dive !

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a star, and though the star couldn't grant wishes, the star brought euphoria to all who took a glance its way. a swarm of astral deities debated on what to do with said star, what kind of star serves no purpose besides entertainment? what use is there to make people happy? advancing across the milky way and barrages of nebulous asteroids in the hopes of finding a place among the celestial rings, the star came to be known as the astral nova . . .

i'll be right your side tonight 💫 ! ─── ASTRANOVA ( 아스트라노바 ) is a south korean-american singer, songwriter, and producer under EUNOIA CO. with a stellar stage name quite literally just meaning " star ", he aims to wield the novas in his palms as he spreads irresistible elation through catchy, occasionally amusing, and sometimes melancholic music which has captured the hearts of many since his debut in january of 2021. having simply started as a former trainee who then became a silent producer for his labelmates, the transition to.. well— artist, was pretty " unconventional " in his own words.

ASTRANOVA made his formal debut on january 10 2021 with the mini album ‘NOT MY MEMORY’ which was headlined by the single ‘AMNESIA’, a song meant for an entirely other group, but eventually given to him after his original demo of the song went viral. he wasn't a new face, not exactly anyway, he was actually a face people had been begging to hear from for years. of course, before he became ‘ASTRANOVA’, he was just EZRA KWON, a tall, loud mouthed, hilarious sm entertainment trainee who seemed to have a good future ahead of him. before his abrupt departure from the company, he was suspected to have stolen a spot in NCT DREAM, but then he just suddenly disappeared from the company and went silent for five years. where did this sudden 2021 debut come from? and what's with the new name?

so let's talk about it then, the guy is quite literally a star after all. though having a sister formerly apart of a famous group and once being in the lineup for one, it seems it was never all that easy for him. hopefully after this, he becomes just a little bit more understanding to those full of confusion.

﹙ 21:29 ﹚. . . the basics !

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ BIRTH NAME . . . astro ezra kwon ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ KOREAN NAME . . . kwon eunwoo / 권은우 ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ PREFERRED NAME . . . astro / 아스트로

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ NICKNAMES . . . ez, rozi, asty, eunie, nunu, wee woo ❪ his family , his close friends ❫. tokki, white rabbit, snow bunny ❪ his close friends , his fans ❫. gentle giant, a tall softie, astro long legs, reaching for the stars, cell tower, tall woo ❪ his family , his friends , his fans ❫. little hye, baby lux, moon sibling ❪ his fans & his sisters' fans ❫. #1 amnesiac ❪ his fans ❫. star-boy, little star, astral angel, lumi, baby nova ❪ his fans ❫. 7/11 addict, keeping convenience stores open, slushies forever, twix crazy ❪ his close friends , specifically dakota & kihyun , his fans ❫.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ BIRTH DATE . . . december 20 2000 ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ ZODIAC SIGN . . . sagittarius ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ CHINESE ZODIAC SIGN . . . dragon

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ BIRTHPLACE . . . juneau, alaska, united states ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ HOMETOWN . . . juneau, alaska, united states ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ RESIDENCES . . . juneau, alaska, united states ❪ 2000 — 2011 , 2016 — 2018 ❫. seoul, south korea ❪ 2011 — 2016 , 2018 — present ❫.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ NATIONALITY . . . american ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ ETHNICITY . . . korean

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ SPOKEN LANGUAGES . . . english ❪ 100% , standard english ❫. korean ❪ 100% , gyeonggi dialect ❫. spanish ❪ 100% , castillan spanish ❫. cantonese ❪ 70% , hong kong dialect ❫. tagalog ❪ 45% , unspecified dialect ❫.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ GENDER IDENTITY . . . demiboy ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ PRONOUNS . . . he / they ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ SEXUALITY . . . gay

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ HEIGHT . . . 188 cm ❪ 6'2" ❫. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ WEIGHT . . . undisclosed ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ BLOOD TYPE . . . b

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ NATURAL EYE COLOR . . . dark brown ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ NATURAL HAIR COLOR . . . black ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ CURRENT HAIR COLOR . . . blonde

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ BODY MODIFICATIONS . . . 2 piercings ❪ left ear ❫. 4 piercings ❪ right ear ❫. 4 tattoos.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ FACE CLAIM . . . choi soobin / txt ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ SPEAKING CLAIM . . . choi soobin / txt ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ VOCAL CLAIM . . . lee jinki / shinee ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ DANCE CLAIM . . . kim jongin / exo ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ RAP CLAIM . . . kim jongin / exo

﹙ 21:29 ﹚. . . the career !

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ STAGE NAME . . . astranova / 아스트라노바 ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ EXPLANATION . . . he picked it himself, it's derived from the title of the first ever song he wrote and produced which was 'the astral nova', a song that was more of a personal dump of his issues as a moody sixteen year old than an actual collection of lyrics, fit with music. of course, the song has never been released, but the name stuck with him (the song also sort of made him appreciate his first name more).

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ REPRESENTATIVE EMOJIS . . . 🐰 / 💫 ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ EXPLANATION . . . the bunny is pretty self explanatory, literally everyone thinks he looks like a bunny when he eats. the star is also pretty fitting because his name, stage name, and literally everything about him is stars. this man has an obsession, really.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ FANDOM NAME . . . estrella ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ EXPLANATION . . . again, star obsession. estrella is the spanish word for star, the fandom name still would've been related to galaxies or stars anyway, so he didn't pay it much mind. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ FANDOM COLORS . . . ocean blue ❪ #4f42b5 ❫. periwinkle ❪ #ccccff ❫.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ AGENCIES . . . sm entertainment ❪ 2012 — 2016 ❫. eunoia co ❪ 2018 — present ❫. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ OCCUPATION . . . singer, songwriter, dancer, producer. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ TRAINING PERIOD . . . 9 years 4 months. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ DEBUT DATE . . . january 10, 2021. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ DEBUT AGE . . . 17 ❪ producer ❫ 20 ❪ singing ❫ ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ YEARS ACTIVE . . . 2015 — present

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ SOCIAL MEDIA . . . ─ instagram ⨟  @ astroproxy ❪ 2409 posts , 2.3m followers , 22 following ❫. @ newstar ❪ 1099 posts , 5.5m followers , 0 following ❫. ─ twitter ⨟  @ astrodotcom ❪ 347 tweets , 991k followers , 27 following ❫. ─ youtube ⨟  @ astranova ❪ 6210 videos , 7.7m subscribers , 2 subscribed to ❫.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ KNOWN FOR . . . hating when he's compared to his sister. having an inactive twitter page. keeping his local convenience stores in business. his underrated singing voice. deeming himself "not romantic" yet literally having a discography full of love songs. sleeping.. all the time. his overwhelming little caesars addiction. freaking out his team with literally everything he does. crying when he got the opportunity to sing an ost for a kdrama. technically being an original nct dream member. lightly shading sm with big smiles on his face. just falling off the face of the earth for five years until he randomly debuted. his sheer "platonic soulmatism" with kihyun of neverland. having so many friends in the industry despite his introversion. being cool with everyone. his impeccable comedic timing. being the mastermind behind a lot of his labelmates' music. his former history at sm. being the younger brother of nebula's luxury neriah. being a human air conditioner. ❛ well i'm from alaska not the arctic you fuck ❜. his complicated memory. getting a social media ban every other week for swearing at his team. turning his team into celebrities of their own. his silent chaotic energy. saying he would never adopt any pets but then getting twin cats. ❛ okay but they're my babies so ❜.

﹙ 21:29 ﹚. . . the personal !

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ MBTI TYPE . . . istj-a / defender

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ STRENGTHS . . . supportive, reliable, observant, enthusiastic, hardworking. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ WEAKNESSES . . . overly humble, too sensitive, repressing feelings, too altruistic, struggles to stand up for himself.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ PHOBIAS . . . atychiphobia, fear of failure. aquaphobia, fear of deep open water. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ STRUGGLES . . . standing up for himself, being too nice, talking about his feelings, taking proper breaks.

﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ FAMILY . . . father, paternal grandparents, older sister, godmother, and a plethora of aunts. ﹙ 𖤐 ﹚ FAMILY DESCRIPTION . . . compared to how most people may envision it, astro's family is much more different. his family consists of many members, his father, his older sister, his paternal grandparents, his godmother, and his many aunts. his father was a man who struggled throughout life, raised in a foreign country and having had his first child at seventeen, then went on ten years living in a cramped apartment with his parents, his young daughter, and his partner. it got especially bad when astro's mother passed away, he sunk into his depression and then that turned into substances. when it all got bad, his parents (astro's grandparents) stepped in, anaiah (his older sister) was also a comforting figure in the early days after mom's death. his godmother, who is his father's childhood friend, was also there to be a person of solace whilst dad was ignoring everyone's existence and work was taking time away from everyone else. as for his aunts, they aren't actually aunts on the related side, his aunts consist of his older sisters group members, who, funnily enough, all treat him as their own.

where do i begin with this story? the beginning of the story almost seems like the middle, but i guess a good tale is one those would love. the story of ASTRANOVA technically begins in 2015, when he coined the name which he would eventually become known for, yet the story also begins in 2011 when he joined his first company, or in 2007 when his sister debuted and became extremely well known, at this point, we could start at any point, but let's just start from the semi beginning.

in 2007, his older sister anaiah made her debut as the maknae, center, and main vocalist of girl group nebula. better known by her stage name ‘luxury neriah’, she was a power tool in the industry. though private, somewhat irate, and still secretly coping terribly with the death of her mother, she charmed the hearts of south korea up until the groups disbandment in 2019. he hung around in the background and watched everything, just silently there in a tiny seoul apartment as his sister experienced the ‘idol life’, something so intriguing to him that he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it as flawless as she did. she was the figure who inspired him to do it all, watching her be an idol made him think he could make it, and the constant encouragement gave him the hope he so desperately needed.

after a grueling six years, six years in which these events transpired in his life: he joined sm, he became apart of sm rookies, grew a sizable predebut fanbase, was on the korean mickey mouse club, got put into nct dream, got pulled out of nct dream, and left sm because his father got into a car accident and he couldn't stand not being at home with him. he then found his first calling, producing. through journeys with his barely hanging on laptop and free soundcloud beats, ASTRO coined his name ASTRANOVA as a cute little pseudonym that he conjured up in the first song he ever created when he was fifteen. seemed producing worked, as after scouting from several companies (who only wanted him for the connection he had to his sister), he took up an opportunity with eunoia co because they were actually giving him something he wanted.. not idoling.

it's cliché yes, but ASTRO had given up on the idea of being an idol, he instead devoted his time to university work and producing for his labelmates. he made his production debut on the track ‘LOVE BOMB’ which was given to his labelmates AVIIX. over the course of two and a half more years, he would go on to participate in creating hits like: ‘PANTOMIME’, ‘THIS TIME’, ‘LOVE IN SPACE’, ‘THE RAINY NIGHT’, ‘FLICKER’, and, of course, ‘AMNESIA’. there are definitely more songs but his catalog extends a long while, we'd be here forever seriously. he was making sure to keep himself busy even without the idol life on his back.

‘AMNESIA’ started it all. it was in mid–2020 when he wrote it for NEVERLAND on a whim, but the song was a mixed bag for management, who couldn't decide if the song fit the groups concept, they kept it on the back burner for a while. then, someone released the demo without the company knowing, and.. it went viral. it was only ASTRO's second time doing the demo for a song he created, yet it seemed that so many wanted more. considering the idol dream had been long gone for a few years, he found it funny how people wanted for him to debut, but at the same time, it also boosted his ego in just the slightest.

the company gave him an ultimatum, he could simply remain a producer, or, he could use the chance he'd been given and finally make his idol dreams possible whilst remaining with just less creative power than before. considering the song was created by him, he could just release it himself. so he decided to take his chances, after sort of disappearing for five years and even getting a new stage name which was cool as shit (his own words), ASTRANOVA debuted on january 10, 2021, and a true star he is indeed.

there are definitely issues that need to be worked through, but with a team full of ‘just the sweetest assholes’ (- ASTRO 2022), broken promises healed, friendships rekindled, and many many songs saved in his files, it seems that he's always two steps ahead. the story doesn't have a surefire happy ending, but he's determined to get there, don't give him a challenge, he'll crush it.

[m3loria]

MELIORA IN A HEADCANON GENERATOR !