So I just turned 28 this year and I've been thinking a lot about 30. I'm not really scared to be considered "old" or to get wrinkles (although, it would be nice to look 18 forever). Reflecting on the last decade, I've accomplished all the goals I had for myself when I was 18. But my goals were so simple and I'd say they were more foundational and almost easy because almost everyone had the same goals.
Career wise it was always get into college. Study and graduate with a major that I found interesting. Get my master's degree in an cool field so I can make some dough. Get some good work experience aka make a shit load of money. The whole point was to find something that could keep me interested and challenged. I would say I'm mostly good at what I do now. Everything feels so mundane and pointless. Change to a different industry. I tried this. I'm glad I switched from AdTech to real tech. Change companies. I've tried this too. Literally, every company is the same. Maybe not exactly the same, but at the core of it, the work will always the same; hey, you, "How do we drive growth and revenue? How do we make our product better? Where are we failing?" Yada YADA YADA. The products I've worked on have been pretty interesting...within their context. But relatively, this isn't life changing work for anyone. I've spent the last 10 years getting here, and now that I'm here, I want to start preparing for the next 10 years. As 30 is coming, I'll be about 30-50% through with what I have left of this life and I want the next chapter to be well fucking lived. Health. Time. Money. If you're a regular person, chances are, you've never really had all three at any time in your life. I think the 30s are really the time that you are the closest. From birth - 26, I had health and time but no money. From 26-28, I had health and money, but hardly any time. In the next two years, I really want to focus on building foundational income so I can afford to transition into what I want to do next (tbd, got some ideas though).
What I am scared about turning 30 is conforming to societal norms that I don't think I'm really interested in. I mean, I'd love to get married one day but I'm also considering that I kind of hate the idea of marriage. Marriages were not stemmed from the concept of love and care; marriages have deep roots in political power and economic alliances. It's kind of silly that anyone has to declare their love through this act of marriage. But hey, I still live in a shitty capitalistic country and if the tax breaks are there, count me in (but only if it's the right decision, emotionally and mentally yada yada). I'm scared that one day, when all my friends are getting married (which about 50% of them are), I will succumb to wanting something that everyone else has instead of wanting something because I want it. So friends, if that day comes, please slap me in the face and make sure I love the person I'm marrying. The other big thing is having a child, I have concluded that I for the most part love children (at least the interesting and fun ones--not the bratty little shit bags). Do I want one of my own? I don't think so. The parts I love about children is listening to them think, process and learn. I love their curiosity and their contagious (but exhausting) energy. Do I look forward to hanging out with some cool kids sometimes? Sure. Do I want to spend every waking moment of my life tied to this real, live, breathing human being that I have to care for emotionally and financially? No, not really. Does having 5 mins of fun play time make up for having to wipe their shit and staying up late night worrying about them past curfew? Hell no. But if one day, I decide that the joys of raising a child far outweigh the burdens, then okay, I will accept it. For now, there's just too many things I'd rather do and the last thing I want to do is bring a child into this world that will cause everlasting resentment in myself, the child and likely, my partner. Phew, that went on a tangent. But I think these two things are on the minds of every single person I know heading into our 30s and the last thing I want to do is do something because everyone else is doing it.
My goal for 30: start living life for me.
Honestly, this pandemic has opened up my eyes. It took away the one thing I really loved doing -- traveling, exploring, being on the move. It gave me the chance to really see where I am in my life. I was constantly working for the next big vacation...but now I want to shift to making every day feel like a vacation. Not a vacation in the sense that I want to just be bumming it out living in Hawaii surfing every day (I mean, that wouldn't be bad, but I think I'd get bored of the monotony eventually). I don't want to be bounded by "personal time off", motivated by the next "big promotion" or working on products I don't even fully understand/wholeheartedly believe in. This is really all one big disillusion, and I want more. I've spent so long trying to figure out my own identity and trying to push away the idea of self-identifying with a job. I find myself saying things like, "My job isn't my life." I'm a data scientist but if you ask me who I am, I wouldn't start off with that at all even though I know so many people want to be where I am because it's been rated on Forbes' sexiest jobs. Now I'm trying to psychoanalyze myself and ask "Well, why have I been trying to deny that so adamantly?" And now I'm concluding that what you do for a living, shouldn't identify 100% of who you are, but the parts that do help to identify you, you should be proud and happy about. My parents are proud as heck to be immigrants who came to America not knowing a lick of english or having any money in their pockets to where they are now -- business owners. They self identify with this, they are happy and proud to be business owners. It is something that they have created for themselves, it means they are hard working, persistent and actually have something to show. I want that. I want to be proud of something that I've built from the ground up. In my head, I guess I haven't really been able to check off "pride" for myself. I was proud to get my degrees and when I got my new job (with no help from any connections at all!); I wouldn't say that I built myself from the ground up... I've literally had mentor after mentor looking after me. The problem I really have with working for one of these thousands of "sexy tech" companies is that your work at the end of the day doesn't really matter. They can post a job listing and literally get hundreds if not thousands of applications that look identical to yours. You're nothing special. Your vision doesn't matter. You just happened to appear in the queue at the right time and had good enough answers. I guess I'm in that "legacy" part of my life now, and instead of children, I want something more tangible for the rest of the world with more direct impact.
My goal for my 30s: create something that is mine.