"Charisma is a sparkle in people that money can’t buy. It’s an invisible energy with visible effects.”
Isn’t charisma = extraverts?  Or found in a dusty copy of Emily Post’s rules of etiquette?
Not quite on either front.
Charm comes from liking and trusting yourself. It’s an energy from within that extends from pure inner joy and excitement – a motivation not requiring power, gain, or even popularity.
Most of us think of charisma as the person who can sell ice to an Eskimo. You know, that slickster sales person, who is out for their own benefit despite what they are saying.
We (okay, me) admire what these individuals might be able gain through their approach, but deep down I know I have also carried a level of cynicism about their authenticity (do they mean what they say?), hence a lack of trust.
Throughout my career, these type seemed to be found in bosses and peers. I seemed to do all the work and these individuals somehow weaseled in to get try to take the credit.
Even more troubling? Watching how otherwise rationale people seemed to have their pants charmed off them ignorant to the truth of the matter.Â
And then I was bowled over by feedback from one of my Georgetown professors about my presentation style:
“Don’t worry so much about what you are going to say… you’ve got presence and charm. Use it! You can capture attention just being you.”Â
Charm, I’ve learned, isn’t only reserved for the extroverted, or the “Talented Mr. Ripleys” out there.
Charm is and can be something entirely different – it’s about becoming who we are… and liking ourselves first and relating to others from there.
(Check out 5 things you can do to increase your charisma.)
A sense of confidence, ease, and likability that inspires others to listen, and maybe even follow.
Once we are “good” with ourselves, we can start living from a place beyond protecting or making ourselves stand out above the crowd.
Say what?! That’s counter to pop culture… but not to real life and how people work offline.
Removing the “me first” edge, we can focus on helping others …feel heard, special, reach their goals… so we all win.
(Too pollyanna for you? Don’t forget, when you rise to the top on other’s backs, life becomes a lonely place.)
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