The Womansplainer

You'd look prettier if you smiled.

[shewomansplains]

A note on Jordan Peterson

“12 Rules for Life” is basically just Stoic Philosophy for Dummies with a soupcon of misogyny and douchebaggery. 

[shewomansplains]

Men are more likely to win Darwin Awards.

The science bears it out. Don’t blame me.

[shewomansplains]

Fantasy football is basically The Bachelor.

"Will you accept this jockstrap?”

[shewomansplains]

Actually, she wants you to listen.

Really listen. Not just wait for your turn to talk. If this makes you feel defensive, fix yourself. 

[shewomansplains]

A correlation

The more a man assures a woman that she’ll have a good time with him, the less likely it is to be true.

[shewomansplains]

Will you be expanding to include womansplainations of things that men use or feel like they have a grasp on (for example, jock straps, remote controls, the ability to get women off, et Cetera)?

Sure will.

[shewomansplains]

Men are more likely to make spelling mistakes than women are.

It’s science. I don’t make the rules.

[shewomansplains]

Men are responsible for nuclear disaster.

Historically, every single nuclear warhead was dropped by a man. Every single nuclear disaster was caused by a man. Is it really safe to allow men around radioactive substances? 

[shewomansplains]

Do girls tell you you’re “creepy?”

They’ll never love you unless you stop creeping on them. It’s science.

[shewomansplains]

Show me proof the wage gap exists. Oh, that's right, YOU CAN'T can you.

There’s a big difference between “can’t” and “won’t do your homework for you.” But I understand. Men find it more difficult to concentrate on complex tasks. It’s not your fault, sweet pea. It’s just science. 

[shewomansplains]

This seems misandrist. Why the need for feminism rather than equalism?

I don’t see the words “feminism” or “equalism” anywhere on this website, dollface. I know that reading comprehension is difficult, though. 

[shewomansplains]

What is the purpose of this website? How is womansplaining more acceptable than mansplaining? This would seem to be reverse sexism.

Acceptable to whom? I don’t see how you get to decide for anyone else what’s “acceptable”, honeybunch. 

[shewomansplains]

Your “swagger” doesn’t impress us.

We find it hilarious. And we talk about it with our friends.

[shewomansplains]

She’s laughing at your dick pic.

Guaranteed. If you sent it, she’s laughing at it right now. She probably showed it to all her friends, too. They’re all laughing at it.

[shewomansplains]

She’s just better at school than you are.

Studies show that the majority of college students are women. Sorry you don’t measure up, honeybunch. 

[shewomansplains]

She isn’t into you because she doesn’t find you attractive.

She’s dating that other guy because he has something you don’t. 

[shewomansplains]

Women like tall men better. It’s evolution.

Sorry if you don’t like it. But we can’t help our preferences.