Shiezel Written

I smile when I speak but I'm being sincere

[shiezelwritten]

Cess

Can’t hate myself every day, man

Morning breathe,

cess

The room stinks,

cess

Ashtray over flowing,

cess

Her weave never smells,

blessed

Starting my story how I always start my story

Never with my life or my journey

Not gonna put self out there for you to hurt me

I’m a sensitive prick

I’ll say wild shit

I’ve got bars in my heart for women I’ve known

I’ve got bars for women who fit that mould

I’ve got bars for women who have 3b hair who wear lime green coats

I’ve got bars for woman who tattoo my words

on their skin

I don’t want to boost

I ain’t a driving nigga

I’m an Uber nigga

Touch your pussy at the green light

No partition

The drivers got a rare view

Because I’m scared and you’re willing

I find that pussy so confusing

It taste like long division and cess

Now I’m obsessed.

I’ll love my girl til divorce

Maybe all the way after

Listening to Beyoncé sing all night on a beach

My son has sand on his feet

Cess in my lungs; Hen in my cup

Reflecting

They’re willing to burning bridges on me

Ain’t said nothing to me

They love me, they love me

I get it, I get it

What I say to myself

The only way to explain it

But I know real from fake

Sian had a baby I was there

Nathan died she was there

I’ve got more tears then you can believe

If I dwell I’ll cry so back to the women

The games fucked up women ain’t fucking on potential

So I hope you’re seeing someone secretly in love with you

I don’t want you seeing anyone less

For me...

Back to the cess

[shiezelwritten]

I’m upset

The truth is lying to me, spites only you.

When I start lying...

You'll feel pain in ways that your lies never hit

me

It'll hit you like you hit yourself

'Til you end up like my cousin.

The loss of love is a painful price to pay for your lies

I can't believe the way it just rolled off your tongue

I know I never heard you wrong

I guess I'm lucky the disrespect was not to my face

Retrospectively this seems to be a habit

So this could have been to my face

How many times have you lied to my face?

Like Tracy Ellis Ross you should have gotten better with age.

The person you are I don't even know.

The nasty award goes to you...

You know me...

Lying on your pussy,

Lying on your clothes,

Lying on your money,

Makes you a sket  to me.

[shiezelwritten]

It's been while...

The things I have written are etched in your mind I cannot be forgotten I've lied to myself to immortalise beautiful women Words layered like onions with riddles Impulse control so I didn't blurt out I love you I'm older now, seen some winters now So I know love was lust when I thought I loved you All in my feelings, Infatuation built from 140 characters What an era It's been a while, 4 years 4 years

Things are the way they are because of you It is what it is I could try but, Impress who? Sigournney's on the bed pussy out Empress I am not a king nor a don I am something far beyond At night I smoke weed under the stars Singing praises to Jah Empress

We've always been on different timings Back then things were different I don't need reminding I don't believe my nouns and verbs stumbled and hurt you Llow me Tell the truth You didn't see me However, I have been observing For now, we will wait an see

I am not perfect but I am not my imperfections I do less talking now That's more rewarding now When I talk I say what I mean Ask me anything I'll say what I mean

If we were on the same page you would have deep it Not just seen it It wouldn't have missed you Happiness is hard to watch Once smitten time flys 4 years 4years

[shiezelwritten]

Sigournney.

Conversation with Sigournney Make me realise why I love her to death. I had lost my way… Now I see the error in all my ways. Came to the conclusion my life was a mess; I led a crazy life. I wasn't in the right position for commitment Took it upon myself to deep it Look… I couldn’t even write anything else The themes were all the same Still having problems with bitches, weed & Hennessy. I had to say to myself maybe I haven't changed So I stopped talking to pagan’s or they stopped talking to me But let me address it…

You like every picture on my Instagram Except me & my girl Now you need to stop acting to the world you weren't feeling me as well. I have six siblings, a girl and my son And I don't know where I'd put another friend So babes I’m cool we don’t talk You’re just a path I had to walk

Now I dine out on venison and wine… Or I’m in Sydenham with a carton of strawberry KA

I'm all good now Sigournney gave me time to grow Now she’s got me and I got her I don't want to do this with anyone new

I got a few things to clear up between me and her. I would never do anything to have you feeling away. Sigournney you understand when you don’t know what you want But when we fix up… I hit it and it feels right You can’t bill it but you prep it That is so frustrating it's funny You are the only one to see if I'm okay Just know I don't wanna sleep next to no one else Even when you take up all the bed and you are annoying. I've been searching for the words to say I'm sorry to you You know the Nang party Couple months ago

Sigournney... You saw my old habits Straight Hennessy got my head out of this planet You had a little look at my old life No matter what you think I don't wanna fuck in the club I just want you to know I'm with you baby My complacency got you hating me Subconsciously I know In my drunk state I knew You saw the visual definition of being lost in the sauce I don't want to fuck up I know you can't be replaced Doing the most, right in your face...

But trust me I know my place is right next to you I don't know if I loved and lost with her Because I got what I want with you There is only us No one can hold a candle to you You don't want the old me You don't want that life No matter what you say Sigournney I will never love them you know who's Like I love you You are my angel You are my life I can't get enough of you baby

[shiezelwritten]

“When you looked over your shoulder For a minute, I forget that I’m older I wanna dance with you right now Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever And I swear that everyday you’ll get better You make me feel this way somehow”

[shiezelwritten]

Tears

I read your feelings behind your smiles between the lines above my pride words tear my skin i cry when your not home- because, yours are like acid rain on my shoulders mine are like letting air out of a balllon my heads no longer heavy but i cant stop so i hide turn off shut down the sun never comes out… they just dry away back to shits & giggles kisses & cuddles but we both see the inperfections in ourself, so the outward expression of happiness soon slows down, while we pull it together so we can stay together. And intertwine our bodies like the first times like we dont have life baggage accepting I dont need to be happy right this minute isnt helping me

It’s not helping me

So I wrote this right next to you You were sleeping I watched you We did what we do You took up the bed I took pictures of you I sneezed, you said bless you As you slept I missed you You woke in intervals Asked me to kiss you In these moment we’ve done no damage Till I get in my head and you get in yours And we text instead of talk We bark & bite instead of simply listening to someone we trust and love I read your feelings because you lie when I ask Like I can’t hear your thoughts when we go head to head Same way you can taste your tears on my skin when we hit the bed.

[shiezelwritten]

Dictionary definition not a Drake one

First I fell in love with weed then I fell in love with women that hurt me. Then I wrote about it. Couple commas made it perfect. Ignorant shit Trying to analyse me from every book you read. I don’t have a star sign. I don’t fit in a box. Forget that. Close that. I’ve been through too much to be defined Have you ever had sex with a misfit? No, come to the bed. I am one I’ll tell you about me… First I fell in love with weed then I fell in love with women that hurt me. Then I wrote about it. Couple commas made it perfect. Let me analyse your body. Like you already know me. I could give a fuck ‘bout intellect. I’m slow and hard. I know shit about between your legs. Cracked your spine I read you. At every turn, I’ll taste you. Sufferer of real depression. First I fell in love with weed then I fell in love with women that hurt me. Then I wrote about it. Couple commas made it perfect. I just know what I like… You taste like I wanna make you into one of my woes. Dictionary definition not a Drake one I like difference Are you different? It’s all good being cute But will you get me Rizla in the rain? Read me street names in Paris? Help me smoke away my pain? Let me eat your pussy after I chain smoke? I’ve got a questions My issues with language may turn you off I’ll curate a whole gallery Pour my heart into every word and paint a picture Create a vision so you see me like I see me. First I fell in love with weed then I fell in love with women that hurt me. Then I wrote about it. Couple commas made it perfect.

[shiezelwritten]

This is my best friend. It's her birthday. She's great. Found her in the wilderness, her favourite line in a song is "Big batty girl, come whine on it" She's my don, my go to. She's good people. Somedays she's really annoying. Every night before she sleeps she talks for an hour straight. But she's my main. #certy The Dreka to my Kevin. When we roll I'm free to be me, it's sick. My MVP. She's a compliment. When I was sick she never left my side. She deserves some trophies. It's refreshing not everyday suspicious some days tell your best friend everything. More times its bless we chill, I bun a zoot with her while we do uni work; it's just normal life. So Happy Birthday Bae. 🏆✔️

[shiezelwritten]

Unfinished

I remember screen shotting every text… Sent them straight to Dorsa. She wouldn’t fuck New Years but by April, we were fucking in Paris I weren’t looking for a girl after what I just come outta Had the revolving door open but I was hooked. Season done. I was still cuffing. Had to introduce this one to my friends real slowly. I was monkey barring, they know me. But no matter how deep we fall and how weak I get. This is nonchalant and logical. I stay billing and this is just Netflix and chilling. You gotta remember I didn’t mind being a devil Hand up Mona Lisa’s skirt, I was cool. She gave me a chain made me think I was an angel. By October had strangers saying I’m smitten. I’m trying my best. I don’t wanna be the person she calls the love of her life then the person she loved in her life that she regrets. Faded memory of time passed and experiences lived. It all looks possible. The future and the bitter end. Even if we talk about the future everyday. Then I feel insecure and sabotage like I ain’t shit. Because I’m to unlucky to be happy like this.

[shiezelwritten]

This ain’t no regular day. Ain’t got no regular haze. My girl ain’t no regular chick. I don’t know what regular is.

[shiezelwritten]

[viiseptem]

She don’t know I think she prefect.

[shiezelwritten]

How 'bout now?

"That ones about me."

Intense.

Love me.

Why the fuck are you so angry?

I had to feel it.

I had to feel it.

You, you had to read words strung together with the mission to move you.

Nice of me really.

Immortalised.

Me, immortalising you...

Someone who didn't write back.

Tell me?

You, told friends.

You, told me that.

You told, foe.

She, told me that.

Laughing.

Whispers.

I dealt with that. 

I dealt with that

So I wrote...

Personified pens.

You know they bleed, had zodiac signs.

I tried.

It's crazy.

You don't really fuck with me.

But when things ain't really going great with you...

And whoever.

You wanna make a pawn out of me.

Plus you're so prideful you wouldn't use them lips.

That hair, to come get me. 

Even if you wanted it, you couldn't really have it.

You said so much to friends that you can't take it back.

Now it burns you that I'm looking good and I'm happy with someone new.

But I told you. 

So you knew.

You knew.

So I'm not gonna ask how 'bout now?

[skrrrrrr]

[shiezelwritten]

Mine

[shiezelwritten]

Somewhere between overwhelmingly happy and overwhelmingly sad. 18.09.14

[skrrrrrr]

honesty is the best poetry

[shiezelwritten]

26.08.14

Hardest part of loving you: Is you’re only 19. And I ain’t had bare pussy. And you ain’t had bare pussy. And there’s plenty fish in the sea But I don’t fight with myself. I don’t want to live without you. However if I have to… Then I have to.

From jokes to silence. Can’t keep asking what’s wrong. It jars me. However the silence is loud… Jars me.

I let it carry on If something’s the matter… Tell me. You’re worth more than anything I ever owned sanity or health. If something’s wrong… Tell me. I’m not her but I’m here. Like you’re not her but you’re here.

I could be with her but I scraficed that to be with you. Even if I didn’t tell you.. You gotta see that. Because even before we admitted our feelings. You knew the deal. I see that.

I don’t lie to you I’ve been around cling film and foil, seeds, soil and that Done dirt, been a dirt bag…

Told someone I loved them, then dipped because I finally got the pussy and it weren’t all that. Then sometimes it was just a crush and I didn’t, I just wasn’t enough.

You need to understand. I understand.

I’m happy with you. We argue, we talk and we fuck. I feel like I’m enough.