do you have any atsushi stories? also does ranpo have any crushes?
Not yet! I started at the ADA 6 months before the main canon timeline to get used to things, have some fun, etc. before everything pops off. Cause a lot happens at once, and I wanted to have some time to get used to the reality as needed.
I do know that Atsushi’s response to my allure will be flight and he hisses at me like a cat when we first met. That’s just what I’ve channeled, and honestly? 10/10 it’s adorable.
Ranpo does not have any crushes, least not that I am aware. I do know he is probably gay, which makes sense given this reality’s actual Ranpo might have been as well. I only know this given the incident I mentioned before with his response to my ability going from ‘freeze’ to ‘fuck/arousal’ during the time I accidentally got turned into a male for 72 hours. Even if I am slightly wrong on that, he does have asexual/sapiosexual vibes. He can not handle when people do not know common sense or are particularly stupid (and neither can I so we bitch about that quite a bit).
The reason I bring up this reality’s author Ranpo, when talking about my DR’s Ranpo is simply cause it’s similar to being reincarnated just in a different reality. (Same concept with shifting really) The core personality or core person, does not change much outside of factors such as childhood, trauma, culture, environment, etc. these things play a role, but things such as core personality traits tend to be the same, if not similar.
"I trust my subconscious to guide my shifting journey."
"I let go, and trust my subconscious to guide us to our DR, to our home."
𝖒𝖞 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖗𝖞 𝖔𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖞 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖐𝖘 𝖘𝖔 𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖑
At least for me.
These concepts are a bit tricky, but trust me! Our conscious and subconscious are distinct, but connected systems in the brain that work together to determine our actions. Think of it as the classic right brain vs left brain.
Your consciousness is the logical, rational part of your brain. This is the part of yourself that interacts with the 3D and the five senses.
While your subconsciousness is the part of our brains, (and the part of our metaphysical bodies) that is largely emotional and more instinctive.
The reason why I think these two affirmations work as well as they do (and probably any variations of them) have worked so well is simply this: I am giving up control of the rational, logical part of my psyche to the more emotional and instinctive part. The part of one's psyche that, like in dreams, don't tend to follow or recall things like logic or physics.
seeing shifting getting popular again just in different packaging is nice and all but it does piss me off a little. you all called us fucking crazy but the second there’s proof of ancient civilizations doing it, you turn around and love this new great idea. like we haven’t been saying this existed the whole fucking time. the same people who were shitting on shifters are now all excited about nikola tesla speaking of living years in his own mind and meeting people there that helped him with his work. are you serious? it’s almost like we were right the whole time.
♱ Usually Ranpo’s response to my ability is ‘Freeze,’ but one time I got turned into a man by this man’s gender swap ability (that lasts 72 hours) and it quickly turned into ‘Fuck.’ I jokingly asked if anyone wanted a kiss to explore their sexuality since I’m not a dude, (I mean why not), or just cause why not, and Ranpo jumped up so fast I died. I did not script this man was gay, I did not script anyone's sexualities, (I wanted to keep this as close to canon as possible).
♱ During said above incident, Dazai’s ‘Fuck’ response stayed the same, causing a 72 hour long gay panic that I will never find NOT hilarious. He declined the kiss, couldn’t even make eye contact with me that’s how panicked this man was. I do like that male me was just that hot, flatter me harder.
♱ One time, the cafe downstairs got a new waitress and Dazai spent a week flirting with her to no luck. By the end of the week, said waitress gave me her number. Which irritated the fuck out of this man cause he also flirts with me to no luck, and he was just offended that the waitress got to me with so little effort. In my defense, he is a womanizer and I just never took him seriously from the start. The waitress was also super smart (canon sapiosexual here), and was in college - she was clearly passionate about her major.
♱ I diagnosed Dazai at one point with autism (I’m a psychiatrist there, I can do that), and explained it cause Japan’s structure for psychiatric is not great. I explained that it’s not him being broken or a monster, that his brain was just wired differently. I kept using this stupid metaphor of the world being Windows, and his brain is like Linux and had to translate as he went. It was a dumb metaphor but Dazai genuinely looked like he was going to cry (in a good way).
♱ Vs when I diagnosed Ranpo, he just was like “K, can this get me more sweets and less shitty cases?” “Yes, that was the plan.” “Then that’s all I care about. Plus the fluorescent lights?” “Already convinced Kunikida to change them to save on electric.” “Perfect!”
♱ The closest I’ve ever gotten to seeing “Port Mafia Dazai” was when a man grabbed across a conference table, and he moved so fast to grab the dude. He was pissed. Or the time I insulted him by saying he has a small dick… it was a flash but I learned my lesson cause he was petty bout that.
♱ I don’t know what it is with the ADA and putting people in maids uniforms, but at one point I lost a bet to Dazai and was made to wear one all day. Why do they all like maid uniforms so much????
♱ The ADA at MULTIPLE points had given Dazai advice on flirting with, and trying to get him to date me. Even KUNIKIDA gave this man advice. This was Dazai’s “oh shit they think I’m serious about this one.” (He was. It was painfully obvious.)
♱ Dazai is actually King of Malicious Compliance and Being Petty. Also when he’s jealous, he is a bit crueler than usual. I mention going on a date and he became so much meaner to me for an hour. Like “drag up shit and throw it in your face mean, then storm off for an hour and come back like none of it happened.”
♱ Kunikida is uhhh Kunikida. He has pissed me off at several points where I have enlisted Dazai for aid in revenge.
♱ On such revenge plot, included foraged medical documents basically saying I was pregnant and Dazai was the father. AKA his two biggest nightmares, creating a mini-nightmare. He flipped out, realized the ADA does not have any pregnancy plans or maternity plans, began to draft new policies on the spot while screaming. After 5 minutes, and to me and Dazai’s shock, said congratulations. We thought for 5 seconds Kunikida realized it was a prank, and decided to throw us off. Kunikida did not realized it was a prank, he was shipper of the Dazai x Katsumi train.
♱ Ranpo knew from Day 0 I was a shifter. He only cared that everyone HERE knew he was the Greatest Detective, and that I brought him sweets.
♱ Ranpo also knew I shifted cause I was in love with Dazai. Dude was the OG Dazai x Katsumi shipper, and during several missions would pair us or make Dazai be close. First instance, I had sprained my ankle and Ranpo made Dazai carry me to the car. He did, only cause Dazai enjoys tormenting the hell out of people he likes. (He does).
♱ Yosano is actually really nice! We bonded over medieval torture texts, I translated for her, she had a blast.
♱ Yosano knows I am a freak, I spend 4-5 hours in her office a day, we just yap. Anyway, she knows I’m a freak and has debated several times in calling a priest to see if that does me any good. However, she did not know which priest to call. At one point, she got a spray bottle - That was her solution. To spray me like a cat.
♱ Fukuzawa is so chill. No other comments.
♱ Naomi will ask you innocent-seeming questions but they really aren’t.
♱ Naomi was OG 2 shipper of Katsumi x Dazai. She started asking very personal questions about my type of man, etc. as to gauge how compatible me and Dazai were first. I respect that.
♱ I got kidnapped by the PM my first week. It was fine. Due to my ability, my kidnapper was a 'fawn' response, he bought me chicken nuggets and milkshake then talked (cried) about how his dad walked out when he was 3-4. 10/10. Then the ADA show up, open the trunk where I am chilling and eating, and they just have absolutely no idea what to do with that as a collective. They expected violence, instead they got me just vibing.
♱ They also had a secret betting pool about how/when me and Dazai would get together. Everyone was in on it, including Fukuzawa, even Kunikida joined by a certain point, but Ranpo won in the end. (Of course he did).
♱ Dazai falls hard and fast. He’s just so unaware of it. Man has a crush on me from day 3-4, of me joining the ADA, he just can’t name what it is cause he’s never had a crush before apparently… So he intellectualizes this crush to death. He tells himself constantly I’m just, “interesting.”
♱…. Dazai, baby, honey… Most people don’t describe finding people “interesting,” as “when I’m around her my chest feels warm and tight.” Be so fr.
♱ Ranpo is aware of it, and is enjoying the show.
♱ Dazai compares me a lot to both Oda and himself. The Oda comparisons I completely understand and get. It’s the comparisons to himself I did not see coming. He does not compare any one else to himself in such a way.
♱ Usually Ranpo’s response to my ability is ‘Freeze,’ but one time I got turned into a man by this man’s gender swap ability (that lasts 72 hours) and it quickly turned into ‘Fuck.’ I jokingly asked if anyone wanted a kiss to explore their sexuality since I’m now a dude, (I mean why not), or just cause why not, and Ranpo jumped up so fast I died. I did not script this man was gay, I did not script anyone's sexualities, (I wanted to keep this as close to canon as possible).
♱ During said above incident, Dazai’s ‘Fuck’ response stayed the same, causing a 72 hour long gay panic that I will never find NOT hilarious. He declined the kiss, couldn’t even make eye contact with me that’s how panicked this man was. I do like that male me was just that hot, flatter me harder.
♱ One time, the cafe downstairs got a new waitress and Dazai spent a week flirting with her to no luck. By the end of the week, said waitress gave me her number. Which irritated the fuck out of this man cause he also flirts with me to no luck, and he was just offended that the waitress got to me with so little effort. In my defense, he is a womanizer and I just never took him seriously from the start. The waitress was also super smart (canon sapiosexual here), and was in college - she was clearly passionate about her major.
♱ I diagnosed Dazai at one point with autism (I’m a psychiatrist there, I can do that), and explained it cause Japan’s structure for psychiatric is not great. I explained that it’s not him being broken or a monster, that his brain was just wired differently. I kept using this stupid metaphor of the world being Windows, and his brain is like Linux and had to translate as he went. It was a dumb metaphor but Dazai genuinely looked like he was going to cry (in a good way).
♱ Vs when I diagnosed Ranpo, he just was like “K, can this get me more sweets and less shitty cases?” “Yes, that was the plan.” “Then that’s all I care about. Plus the fluorescent lights?” “Already convinced Kunikida to change them to save on electric.” “Perfect!”
♱ The closest I’ve ever gotten to seeing “Port Mafia Dazai” was when a man grabbed across a conference table, and he moved so fast to grab the dude. He was pissed. Or the time I insulted him by saying he has a small dick… it was a flash but I learned my lesson cause he was petty bout that.
♱ I don’t know what it is with the ADA and putting people in maids uniforms, but at one point I lost a bet to Dazai and was made to wear one all day. Why do they all like maid uniforms so much????
♱ The ADA at MULTIPLE points had given Dazai advice on flirting with, and trying to get him to date me. Even KUNIKIDA gave this man advice. This was Dazai’s “oh shit they think I’m serious about this one.” (He was. It was painfully obvious.)
♱ Dazai is actually King of Malicious Compliance and Being Petty. Also when he’s jealous, he is a bit crueler than usual. I mention going on a date and he became so much meaner to me for an hour. Like “drag up shit and throw it in your face mean, then storm off for an hour and come back like none of it happened.”
♱ Kunikida is uhhh Kunikida. He has pissed me off at several points where I have enlisted Dazai for aid in revenge.
♱ On such revenge plot, included foraged medical documents basically saying I was pregnant and Dazai was the father. AKA his two biggest nightmares, creating a mini-nightmare. He flipped out, realized the ADA does not have any pregnancy plans or maternity plans, began to draft new policies on the spot while screaming. After 5 minutes, and to me and Dazai’s shock, said congratulations. We thought for 5 seconds Kunikida realized it was a prank, and decided to throw us off. Kunikida did not realized it was a prank, he was shipper of the Dazai x Katsumi train.
♱ Ranpo knew from Day 0 I was a shifter. He only cared that everyone HERE knew he was the Greatest Detective, and that I brought him sweets.
♱ Ranpo also knew I shifted cause I was in love with Dazai. Dude was the OG Dazai x Katsumi shipper, and during several missions would pair us or make Dazai be close. First instance, I had sprained my ankle and Ranpo made Dazai carry me to the car. He did, only cause Dazai enjoys tormenting the hell out of people he likes. (He does).
♱ Yosano is actually really nice! We bonded over medieval torture texts, I translated for her, she had a blast.
♱ Yosano knows I am a freak, I spend 4-5 hours in her office a day, we just yap. Anyway, she knows I’m a freak and has debated several times in calling a priest to see if that does me any good. However, she did not know which priest to call. At one point, she got a spray bottle - That was her solution. To spray me like a cat.
♱ Fukuzawa is so chill. No other comments.
♱ Naomi will ask you innocent-seeming questions but they really aren’t.
♱ Naomi was OG 2 shipper of Katsumi x Dazai. She started asking very personal questions about my type of man, etc. as to gauge how compatible me and Dazai were first. I respect that.
♱ I got kidnapped by the PM my first week. It was fine. Due to my ability, my kidnapper was a 'fawn' response, he bought me chicken nuggets and milkshake then talked (cried) about how his dad walked out when he was 3-4. 10/10. Then the ADA show up, open the trunk where I am chilling and eating, and they just have absolutely no idea what to do with that as a collective. They expected violence, instead they got me just vibing.
♱ They also had a secret betting pool about how/when me and Dazai would get together. Everyone was in on it, including Fukuzawa, even Kunikida joined by a certain point, but Ranpo won in the end. (Of course he did).
Almost shifted last night using the lucid dreaming method - However, I decided that I had to bring my cat, which then made me wake up to grab my cat in the 3D.
Hello, I saw the post on your ability and was very impressed. You said that you channeled information about it? As someone who used to have detailed scripts and is now burnt out because of too many possibilities, can I ask how you channel? I think those of us looking for a new way to script could benefit from a guide or something. It's up to you, though. Thank you!
Hello! I do apologize for the late response to this ask, but I tend to work 12-hour shifts, so I didn't have the time until now.
Channeling, to summarize, is the spiritual practice where you act as a conduit for information, often communicating with or receiving insight through non-physical sources (like spirit guides, deities, or your Higher Self), but in this case it would be your DR self, DR S/O, or friends and family from your DR. Usually by shifting into a calmer, more receptive state through meditation or trance. In shifting spaces, people often frame it as, “receiving guidance,” on how to shift or, “downloading,” details about your desired reality from a higher intelligence or even an alternate version of themselves/DR selves.
Channeling, in the traditional sense, usually involves allowing a spirit to inhabit your physical body to speak through them. Meaning your expression and voice may change significantly to resemble the spirit inside them. I am not talking about channeling in this sense. I mean more so as, 'channeling' a person/spirit's energy and energy signature, to bring them into your space to communicate using a divination tool of choice.
It's important here to be spiritually safe, please before any session always cleanse yourself, your divination tool of choice, and your space, and make sure you aren't accidentally channeling something you don't intent. Always after, re-cleanse your space and yourself. Cleansing yourself after could be as simple as a hot shower, (never underestimate the power of a hot shower) while visualizing negative energy washing down the drain.
While I commonly use tarot cards to ask questions of my DR S/O and others within my DR, that is only one possible way to do this process.
Firstly, enter an altered state or a trance, I recommend Theta waves for this. There are plenty of videos of theta wave videos on YouTube, but do be careful as some videos aren't actually theta waves. N.O.S on TikTok has some amazing videos showing what channels use real frequencies and which don't, so if you are ever curious about your favorite creator, I'd definitely check them out. Most people use meditation, breathwork, or a sleepy, “edge of sleep” state (SATS) to quiet the analytical mind and become receptive.
Now, the method you use to channel is up to you. Not everyone uses tarot cards, or tarot cards might not be best for you. There is the Lenormand decks, which are 36-card decks that are read in combinations, for example, this is easier or works better for some individuals. Runes, scrying bowls or mirrors, pendulums are all classic tools. There are also simple yes/no coins for simple yes/no questions.
Now, some are good at a practice called automatic writing, where you as a medium hold a pencil or pen and relinquish conscious control to allow a spirit to write its messages through them. This is more aligned with the traditional definition of channeling I mentioned earlier.
Now, for an example, this is how I channeled the information in regards to my DRs (yes, multiple cause I am Katsumi in several DRs with the same ability).
I started simply by asking how each person in my DR, specially my Armed Detective Agency DR felt about my ability, given that I did not have a lot of information at the time. Eventually finding that every person's response was very different. For example, Kunikida claimed it made him feel irrational angry with me, Yosano claimed she felt like a 'big sister,' type of way about it. However, it was Dazai who made me actually question what was going on, by giving me the Ace of Wands and Empress as the main cards.
(Ace of Wands in a Gen Z kind of interpretation can represent arousal, and the Empress is the classic 'motherhood/fertility' card.)
So naturally, I was confused, and starting to really side eye Dazai spiritually, like he was a freak for that. As the only person whose energy always gives it to me straight like I am an idiot, I channeled Ranpo and asked. There was 22 cards and he spilled everything and it clicked, it took me a good hour to figure it out, but eventually when I did, it felt like a 'click.' Like a puzzle piece finally fitting into place, especially considering my main theory was the abilities within the BSD are a reflection of one's trauma and soul. Given that my main interest/hyperfixation from a very young age was in neuroscience and psychology, this made a lot of sense to me.
When it comes to scripting itself, I still use a similar method. Instead of writing down scenes/scenarios and what I feel like I want to happen, I channel and ask each person involved to give me tarot cards descripting their thoughts, feelings, actions or reactions during the scene itself. Now, this can be time consuming, but it feels more in-character, realistic, and doesn't put my DR and the people in my DR on as much of a pedestal. It makes them feel more real to me. Including drawing cards for yourself.
Part of this process you have to really know yourself, be completely honest with how you would react and feel in certain situations and just know yourself to an extent that you are very self-aware. Be warned, sometimes you might not like the answer for things, they will be honest and sometimes brutally so (Ranpo) and it can hurt your feelings a little bit.
As well as being culturally aware, especially when shifting an DR based off an anime, be honest about the Japanese culture and society an how it impacts your DR selves, as well as DR people around you's mentality. You can script things out of course, such as racism or sexism, but there are still aspects of culture to keep in mind, for example Japan has a hierarchical work culture, and a country's beauty standards.
That being said, people within your DR are not omnisentitent, they do not know everything. I asked Dazai what he knows about psychology, and his answer was only things he had observed, he does not know clinical terms and definitions of things, especially what depression is. This is part of why we get along so well, Japan does not have some clinical psychology terms within it's language, and in my DRs I am a Western-trained psychologist, so I give him the terms, definitions, and neuroscience behind his observations.
Let's given an example: To bully Dazai, let's look at what his first thoughts/reactions was to meeting me: 8 of Swords, Page of Wands, Lovers, High Priestess, Hermit, King of Wands, Knight of Cups, 2 of Wands, and 3 of Wands. Using some classic Rider-Waite meanings and the keywords from Labyrinthos. (I also highly recommend Sibyl as well!)
8 of Swords - Restriction, paralysis by thought, feeling trapped, “I can’t move” even when a way out exists; fear, anxiety, self-limitation, mental cage. This is very clear card about how he is feeling given how my ability works, and how he is probably very trapped within the radius at that moment.
Page of Wands - Spark, curiosity, bold impulse, flirtation with the unknown, a new fascination; youthful heat, experimentation, “what happens if I touch this?” Adventure, excitement, fresh ideas, cheerfulness, energetic, fearless, being extroverted.
The Lovers - Attraction and alignment, meaningful choice, values clash/merge, intimacy as decision (not just chemistry); temptation + consequence, divided loyalty. Love, unions, partnerships, relationships, choices, romance, balance, unity.
The High Priestess - Mystery, hidden knowledge, intuition, what’s unsaid, unreadable interior; secrecy, withheld truth, the sense something is behind the veil. Unconscious, intuition, mystery, spirituality, higher power, inner voice.
The Hermit - Distance, observation, analysis, solitude, caution; withdrawing to assess, searching for truth, skepticism, slow trust. Self-reflection, introspection, contemplation, withdrawal, solitude, search for self.
King of Wands - Commanding charisma, confidence, willpower, dominance of presence; leadership through magnetism, strong libido/drive, pride, intensity. Leadership, vision, big picture, taking control, daring decisions, boldness, optimism.
Knight of Cups - Romantic pursuit, charm, seduction, invitation, fantasy; emotional proposal, “come with me,” sweetness that can also be performative or escapist. I'm just gonna say... His 'proposal' was a double suicide proposal which anyone who reads or watches BSD would not be surprised by.
2 of Wands - Assessment, planning, testing horizons, holding power while considering the next move; controlled curiosity, strategy, “what could this become?” Planning, first steps, making decisions, leaving comfort, taking risks.
3 of Wands - Expansion, anticipation, watching what you set in motion arrive; momentum, the future approaching, results beginning to show, waiting with intent. Momentum, confidence, expansion, growth, foresight, looking ahead.
Without factoring in Dazai's personality and character, his first impressions of me can be summarized as involuntary capture by the Allure/my ability, with voluntary curiosity and planning me in future ADA missions/plans.
In more detail, the moment he’s in range, his mind behaves like it’s been cornered, not physically, but cognitively. He’s aware he’s affected, can’t fully choose neutrality, and that, “trap,” feeling becomes part of what he’s reacting to, not just me.
At the same time, I trigger a bright, reckless curiosity that doesn’t match the trap. The pull isn’t only dread; it’s fascination: new stimulus, new risk, new toy, the impulsive urge to test what happens if he gets closer, if he provokes, if he touches. That spark feeds straight into an attraction with stakes. I present as a fork in the road, temptation plus consequence (ability), a choice that would reveal something about his values and self-control.
But I'm not readable. The High Priestess frames me as concealed depth and withheld truth: the sense that she knows more than I am saying, that the real mechanism is behind a veil, that intuition is more useful than facts. Which makes sense consider I shifted here and know about them, their past/backstories, and what is to happen, and I wouldn't say that but he can sense it at least. So, that pushes him pulling back internally to observe, analyze, and catalogue, trying to regain autonomy by turning me into a puzzle. He’s not trusting the first emotional hit (allure/ability again); he’s trying to stand outside it.
Then there’s the power dynamic here. What he views I project into the room: magnetic authority, heat, confidence; an energy that makes other people orient around me even if I am not performing. In response, what rises in him: charm, flirtation, theatrical invitation, romance as bait. His, “double suicide,” line fits that card perfectly as a stylized proposal: seductive not because it’s sincere, but because it’s an offered narrative he expects people to react to. The line is a test.
Underneath the banter, he’s already strategizing. He is taking measure, testing distance, assessing risk, deciding what role to take and what angle to explore. A sense of momentum: he can feel that this meeting won’t stay contained; it’s the start of something that will develop whether he wants it to or not. Anticipation, escalation, watching the consequences begin to form.
This is a super long answer to your question, but I wanted to give more than the basic information and details about this, and show at least how I do this on a regular basis for me DRs. The cons is that is is time consuming and spiritually exhausting. However, it really connects with who people in my DR are as people, not just the fictionalized versions we like to imagine them as. It makes my DR feel more realistic, real, and obtainable.
I thought it would be super fun to channel my DR's Dazai and have him direct this pick a pile reading since I haven't done one in a long time. Enjoy!
𝖕𝖎𝖑𝖊 1
You’re trying to do something simple, and you keep complicating it because “simple” feels insulting. You want a clean, practical result, yet you approach it like a bored person poking a bruise to prove it still hurts. That’s why you keep cycling through the same stuck feeling: not because you’re incapable, but because you keep refusing the kind of beginner’s discipline that would actually make you dangerous. I’m not saying that to be kind. I’m saying it because it’s obvious.
Right now your energy is scattered. Not “multitalented.” Scattered. You pick up a method, half-build it, put it down, then start a new one the moment you feel friction, then you call the friction a sign. It isn’t a sign. It’s the part where you either become consistent or you stay entertained by your own attempts. You’re also letting other people’s noise into your head: competing approaches, arguments about what’s “real,” the subtle pressure to prove you can do it the way someone else does. That kind of background conflict turns your practice into a performance, and performance kills depth.
And you’re carrying too much. Too many rules. Too many destinations. Too many “I have to do this perfectly or it doesn’t count.” You stack obligations on yourself until your body starts treating the whole thing like work you can’t finish, then you wonder why you can’t relax into it. Exhaustion is not a sacred offering. It’s just exhaustion.
What’s irritating is that you do have endurance. You’ve been knocked back enough times that you’re wary now, defensive, braced for disappointment. You keep one eye on the door like you’re expecting the universe to jump out and embarrass you again. So even when you rest, you’re still holding tension. Even when you try, you’re already preparing the excuse. That’s the posture of someone who wants the reward without risking hope. I understand the impulse. It’s also why you stay stuck.
Here’s the part you’re not looking at: there is a clean opening for you, something tangible, grounded, uncomplicated. Not a dramatic “chosen one” moment. A real foothold. The kind you can repeat daily until your brain stops treating this like fantasy and starts treating it like a skill. If you want progress, you stop chasing fireworks and you start building a doorframe.
So. Choose. Pick one destination to prioritize for now, and stop flirting with ten others like it makes you interesting. Decide what “success” means in the next two weeks in a way that your body can understand: consistency, depth, recall, stability—something measurable enough that you can’t gaslight yourself. Your problem isn’t desire. Your problem is that you keep standing on the threshold, looking back over your shoulder, and calling it “waiting for the right time.”
You also need structure—annoying, unsexy structure. A routine you follow even when you don’t feel mystical. A set time, a set sequence, a set environment. Do it the same way until the repetition becomes a signal to your nervous system: now we switch states. If you don’t like “rules,” call it a ritual. If you don’t like “ritual,” call it conditioning. I don’t care what you name it. The point is that you stop improvising every night like chaos is a personality trait.
At the same time, stop outsourcing your inner knowing. You already get quiet hits, small, private cues about what works for you, what doesn’t, when you’re forcing it, when you’re close. But you ignore them because you want external permission. You want someone to certify your experience so you don’t have to trust yourself. That’s cowardice dressed up as caution. Keep parts of this private. Track your signs. Write down what your body does when you’re close: breath changes, temperature shifts, the exact texture of your thoughts, the point where you snap awake. Those details matter more than anyone’s opinion.
There’s grief in this pile too. Regret. The taste of “I should’ve been there already.” And because you don’t want to feel that, you fixate on what didn’t work, what you “lost,” how much time you wasted—like punishing yourself will somehow pay the debt. It won’t. You’re just teaching your brain that practice equals shame. Then you wonder why you avoid it.
Speaking of debt: your energy exchange is ugly right now. You either over-give, endless effort, endless content consumption, endless trying to earn results, or you under-receive because you don’t believe you’re allowed to have it unless you suffer for it. Or you’re tied up in someone else’s expectations, someone else’s framework, someone else’s “right way,” and you’re paying for it with your focus. Cut the strings. If something makes you feel smaller, poorer, frantic, obligated, stop feeding it.
And stop hovering at the edge. You keep returning to the same emotional cliff: “Should I leave this reality behind?” “What if I can’t?” “What if I can, and then what?” You stall because part of you is still attached to being the person who tries. Trying is safe. Trying lets you keep the identity without the risk of change. If you’re serious, you accept that you can’t keep both: you can’t cling to the old comfort and demand the new world open up on schedule.
So here’s your advice, in plain language:
Build a private, consistent practice with a simple structure. Choose one focus. Reduce noise and social comparison. Track your body’s cues instead of begging the outside world to validate you. Let grief exist without letting it drive the wheel. And take authority over your own mind—set boundaries, set rules, enforce them.
Be your own administrator. Not your own audience.
You want a door? Stop arguing with the wall like it’s fate. Life is already a rigged system; at least don’t rig yourself into losing.
-Dazai
𝖕𝖎𝖑𝖊 2
You look like someone who has already built a decent nest and then complains the nest isn’t a portal. Convenient. You’re good at keeping yourself alive. You’re even good at making things comfortable. Your space, your routines, the little practical choices that keep your body from falling apart. That matters more than you want to admit, because you don’t “leave” anywhere if your nervous system is screaming the whole time.
There’s also a very obvious “light” around you right now: clarity, momentum, the kind of straightforward confidence that makes things feel simple again. Not euphoric. Clean. Like the fog lifts and you can finally see what you’re doing. When you’re in that state, you’re not guessing. You’re not begging for signs. You’re just… aligned. And then you do the funniest thing: you flinch. You start second-guessing, shrinking the horizon, acting like choosing a direction will trap you forever.
That’s your main problem in this pile: you freeze at the moment you’re supposed to commit.
You keep trying to plan your way out of uncertainty, but your planning isn’t strategic—it’s avoidance dressed up as productivity. You stare at the map so long you forget you have legs. You tell yourself you’re “considering options,” but what you’re really doing is protecting yourself from the risk of wanting something and not getting it. You’d rather be the person who could do it than the person who tried and had to face results. It’s a very human kind of cowardice. I don’t say that as an insult. I say it because it’s fixable.
There’s something else underneath: the image in your head of what you’re trying to reach is too perfect, too polished, too “it fixes everything.” You’re chasing a fantasy of emotional completion, (peace, belonging, the happy picture), and because real life never matches the brochure, you start to resent the process. You get halfway in and suddenly you’re irritated, disappointed, or numb. Then you blame yourself or you blame the method. Neither is the real issue. The real issue is that you’re trying to use one experience to patch every crack in you at once. That’s not how cracks work.
And you have a complicated relationship with rules. You recoil from rigid systems, from anyone telling you “this is the one true way,” and honestly? Good. Most people sell certainty because they can’t tolerate ambiguity. But you swing too far in the other direction and treat structure like oppression. You don’t need someone else’s doctrine. You need a container you respect enough to actually follow.
Right now you’re also dealing with a very practical leak: energy and resources. Not necessarily money in the literal sense, though it can be, but the feeling of “I put effort in and it doesn’t return anything.” You invest, you try, you hope, and you feel like you get a polite shrug back. That makes you hesitant to invest again, so your attempts become half-hearted, and then you get half results, and then you “confirm” the belief that it’s not working. A neat little self-fulfilling loop.
Your fire is sputtering too. You want excitement and quick movement, but the moment it’s time to show up consistently, you lose interest or you get discouraged. That doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It means you’ve been relying on inspiration as if it’s a dependable employee. It’s not. Inspiration is a passing flirt. If you want a real relationship with this, you stop waiting for motivation to feel romantic.
Then there’s the part you’ll pretend you don’t care about: conflict. Not dramatic fighting, more like the small inner warfare where one part of you wants to commit and another part wants to retreat, and you keep negotiating with yourself until you’re exhausted. The good news is that this pile shows a willingness to end that cycle. Not by “winning,” but by choosing peace over being right. By putting the sword down and admitting you don’t actually enjoy bleeding for your pride.
However—movement is delayed for a reason. You’re trying to force speed in a place that requires coordination. You want everything to happen in one clean burst, but what you need is rhythm. Timing. Collaboration. And yes, that includes collaboration with other people if you’ve been isolating and trying to brute-force it alone. You don’t have to make this a public spectacle, but you do benefit from a small, functional support structure: someone to compare notes with, someone to keep you honest, someone to remind you you’re not the only person with a brain that likes sabotaging itself.
So here’s what I tell you to do—simple, annoying, effective:
♱ Stabilize the body first. Not in a cute “self-care” way. In a mechanical way. Sleep window, hydration, food, and a predictable pre-practice routine. You’re building a switch your brain recognizes. If your body associates practice with chaos, it will resist you every time.
♱ Pick one method and commit for two weeks. Two weeks is nothing. If you can’t do two weeks, you’re not “spiritually blocked,” you’re addicted to novelty. Track what happens without dramatizing it. You’re collecting data.
♱ Stop demanding the perfect emotional payoff. If you only count it as “working” when it feels like fireworks and destiny, you’ll miss the quieter successes—deeper focus, clearer imagery, stronger recall, smoother transitions. Those are real. Those are how skill builds.
♱ Make peace with delay. Delay isn’t rejection. Delay is friction—often from mixed motives, unrealistic expectations, or a system that needs fine-tuning. If you treat every pause like failure, you train yourself to panic.
♱ Use collaboration wisely. Get input that improves technique, not input that feeds obsession. A small group, a trusted friend, a structured community. You want teamwork, not noise.
And one more thing, since you seem like the type who needs it stated plainly: you’re allowed to want something without turning it into a religion or a verdict on your worth. You don’t have to “earn” it through suffering, and you don’t have to prove it to anyone. Treat it like what it is: a practice. A system. A set of conditions you refine. I’m not impressed by people who talk about destiny. I’m impressed by people who show up, adjust, and keep going.
-Dazai
𝖕𝖎𝖑𝖊 3
You move too fast, and you call it “decisiveness” because it sounds better than “panic.”
You get one spark of momentum and you lunge, words first, promises first, methods first, like speed will pin reality down before it changes its mind. It doesn’t. Speed just makes you sloppy. You start arguing with your own doubts out loud, you snap at yourself, you overcorrect, and then you’re shocked the whole thing feels unstable. Of course it does. You’re trying to build a door while sprinting.
Under that, you’re juggling too many variables at once. You’re “managing.” You’re “keeping options open.” What you’re actually doing is dropping everything repeatedly, then blaming fate for the mess. Your attention is split between obligations, fear, the fantasy of a perfect outcome, and the need to prove you can do it quickly. That’s not balance. That’s a slow-motion spill.
And there’s a deeper pressure you don’t like looking at: security. “Home.” Legacy. The long-term structure that’s supposed to make you feel anchored: family expectations, financial stability, the idea of having a safe place in the world. It’s either shaky already, or it feels shaky, so you treat shifting like an emergency exit. That’s why you rush it. That’s why you get aggressive with yourself when it doesn’t happen on command. You’re not only chasing a destination - you’re chasing the feeling of being untouchable.
Here’s the irritating part: you’re not powerless.
You have tools. You have will. When you commit, your mind is capable of taking scattered inputs and turning them into a working system. You’re the kind of person who can engineer an outcome, if you stop trying to brute-force it with adrenaline and start treating it like a craft.
That’s the core of this pile: skill beats frenzy.
What you need is repetition. Technique. The unglamorous “do it again” that makes your brain recognize a pathway. Practice that is small enough to be consistent and boring enough to be real. If you only work when you feel electrified, you’ll keep restarting at zero. If you work like a person sharpening a blade (daily, deliberately), you’ll stop negotiating with yourself every night.
But you also need to stop. Yes, stop.
There’s a forced pause in this pile, a suspension where the point is not to “push through,” but to turn yourself upside down and see what you’ve been refusing to see. You don’t like pauses because, in stillness, your mind gets loud. You start thinking about every failure, every “what if,” every nightmare scenario. And then you try to outrun it again.
Don’t.
If your head fills with static, it’s not always a warning sign. Sometimes it’s just the sound you’ve been avoiding. You can’t talk your nervous system into trust while you’re sleep-deprived and tense. You want clean movement? Then you treat rest like part of the method, not a reward.
Now, about the collapse: There’s a pattern where you build momentum, feel close, then something blows up: your schedule, your mood, your belief, your relationships, the entire internal “structure” you were leaning on. It feels cruel, like the universe is punishing you for trying. It isn’t. It’s pressure revealing weak architecture.
If you keep stacking your practice on top of avoidance, it will keep collapsing. So either you let it collapse repeatedly in dramatic ways, or you do the intelligent thing and dismantle the bad structure on purpose.
That means:
♱ stop using shifting as a substitute for basic stability,
♱ stop making huge, rigid vows you can’t keep,
♱ stop tying your worth to whether something happens tonight.
You’re also stuck in a very specific kind of stalemate: you refuse to choose.
You hold two truths in your hands like they’re equally safe. You don’t want to be disappointed, and you don’t want to stop wanting. So you sit in indecision, pretending it’s “being careful,” while your imagination multiplies options until you can’t tell what’s real desire and what’s escapism. Then you end up paralyzed—head full of beautiful possibilities, body full of dread.
Pick one lane.
Not forever. Just for long enough that your brain stops treating everything as a fantasy buffet. You choose a single target, a single method, and a short time window. You run the experiment. You collect data. You adjust. You do not reinvent your entire identity every time you feel uncertain.
Another ugly truth: you’re clinging.
You want control—over timing, over certainty, over how it looks, over whether you “lose” anything in the process. You keep your grip tight because you think looseness equals danger. But your grip is also what keeps you stuck in the same room. You can’t step through a door while holding the doorframe in a death grip.
So your call-out is simple: loosen your hands.
Stop hoarding effort like it’s scarce. Stop guarding your hope like someone will steal it. Stop treating every sign as something you must capture and interpret perfectly. If you want flow, you can’t behave like a person bracing for impact.
And once you do commit, once you actually choose and stop thrashing, the movement picks up fast. That’s in here too: sudden forward motion, rapid shifts in mental state, “messages” that land cleanly, synchronicities that feel less like chasing and more like being carried. But it only happens after the pause and the decision. Not before.
You also need other people more than you want to admit.
Not an audience. Not a comment section. A small circle. One or two friends you can be honest with, who don’t feed your delusions or your despair—just reflect you back to reality when you start spiraling. Isolation makes your anxiety louder and your fantasies shinier. Community keeps you human.
Because yes, your anxiety is real right now.
You’re dealing with intrusive “what if I fail” thoughts, sleep problems, mental replay, dread that shows up at the worst times. You’re not weak for that. But you are responsible for what you do with it. If you keep trying to practice in the middle of a spiral, you’ll teach your body to associate shifting with fear.
So your practical advice, stripped of mysticism:
♱ Slow your pace. Speed is not power. Control your inputs.
♱ Simplify the system. One method. One focus. One short window.
♱ Practice like a craft. Daily repetition, measurable tracking, minimal drama.
♱ Schedule rest. If you’re exhausted, you’re not “blocked,” you’re depleted.
♱ Let the old structure fall—or take it apart yourself. Either way, it goes.
♱ Choose. Indecision is the prettiest form of self-sabotage.
♱ Use community intelligently. Small, grounded support—not noise.
You want the victory moment, the clean success, the sense of “I did it.” You get it, but not by charging like a fool with a lit match in a windstorm. You get it by being boring, precise, and stubborn.
Be disappointing. Be consistent. That’s how the world changes.
Katsumi (me) pulls me across the boundary for a public service announcement. In my world, “the world” includes one reality and an absurd number of possible ones layered inside a book; you people just call it “daydreaming” and pretend it isn’t serious.
Before anyone gets excited: yes, I understand this is your current reality; no flashy curses, no convenient supernatural shortcuts. In mine, special forces exist and people can be born with them or awaken them later, and the whole system runs on will and soul; in yours, you get budgets and biology and consequences. Boring. More honest.
Still, you’re all standing with your hands on two doors at once. You keep “someday” in one palm and “what if” in the other, and you treat choosing like it’s a moral failure instead of a simple directional problem. Pick a horizon. Not the prettiest one—the one you can actually walk toward. A plan is only real when it survives contact with your calendar.
And yes, I can already hear the whining: “But I’m tired.” Of course you are. You’re hauling your life around like a punishment. You collect burdens the way some people collect cute keychains, proof that you’re trying, proof that you’re good, proof that you deserve to exist. Stop. Drop one thing. If you keep stacking weight onto yourself, you’ll call the collapse “fate” and act surprised.
Your stamina is impressive, though. You keep getting up. That’s the one trait I can’t make fun of without sounding like a liar. You’re more resilient than you admit, and you’re also more guarded than you pretend. Good. Guarding yourself isn’t cynicism, it’s pattern recognition. Just don’t turn it into a bunker. A bunker keeps you alive and also keeps you alone.
So here’s the part Katsumi actually wants me to say: make a home base. Not a fantasy. A base. People. Routine. A small, stable place you return to when the world gets loud. Something worth coming back to, even if it’s unimpressive. You don’t need a dramatic destiny; you need a table you can sit at without flinching.
Now, a warning, because you’re all very susceptible to pretty stories. You’re drawn to the romantic version of life: the grand invitation, the perfect apology, the person who understands you without you having to speak. Lovely. Also frequently a trap. Charm is cheap. Poetry is cheap. If someone offers you warmth, ask what they want you to burn for it. If you’re about to hand your heart to someone, check whether they respect your “no” in boring situations: time, money, boundaries, before you trust them in dramatic ones.
Some of you are in a cold season: money stress, isolation, feeling like you’re watching other people live while you stand outside the window. That isn’t a cosmic judgement. It’s a logistics problem. Treat it like one. Ask for help without turning it into a confession of worthlessness. And stop over-giving to prove you’re lovable, especially to people who only show up when they want something from you.
You also love fighting. Not real fighting—the childish kind. Competing, comparing, arguing in comments, turning every disagreement into a trial. It makes you feel alive because it produces heat. But it doesn’t build anything. Decide what’s worth your energy and let the rest of it die of starvation. Most conflict is just people performing their insecurity at each other.
And if you’re going to listen to one thing I say, listen to this: watch your relationship with authority. Some of you are still trying to earn safety from someone who cannot give it, an institution, a parent-shaped shadow, a partner who likes control more than they like you. When that kind of power gets unstable, it doesn’t protect; it crushes. Don’t hand your spine to anyone who needs you small so they can feel large.
So you cut through the fog. You tell the truth you keep postponing. You choose the sentence that ends the argument inside your head. You don’t need spiritual theatrics for that: just clarity. You’ll be amazed how much of your suffering is maintained by vagueness you refuse to look at.
Finally: stop stalling. Your “slow and steady” becomes “slow and stuck” the moment you start using it as an excuse to never finish. Progress isn’t a personality trait; it’s repetition. Pick one practical thing and do it today. Not when you feel inspired. Inspiration is unreliable. The fatality rate of living is one-hundred percent, so waiting for the perfect mood is a very funny strategy.
That’s all. I’d tell you to take care, but you’ll interpret it as permission to be soft in the wrong places. Be soft with your friends. Be soft with your body. Be ruthless with your self-deception. And if you’re a beautiful woman, well. I do have my hobbies.
Me: "While I don't appreciate you hitting on pretty women on my blog… I think what you are trying to say is that most people put their DR on a romanticized pedestal and make it feel unrealistic. People need to relax and realize they will eat, sleep, get hurt, have their heart broken, etc. in their DR too. Is that correct?"
Mm. You translate me into something gentler than I deserve, Kacchan. And for the record—I’m not hitting on anyone. I’m doing what I always do: I poke people until they react, because the reaction is honest in a way the pretty speeches never are. If it bothers you, I can redirect my terrible charm toward the concept of death instead. It’s very loyal and never blocks me.
Yes. That’s correct. I don’t even need to decorate it. People build a shrine out of the place they want to reach, then they kneel in front of it and call that devotion. They make it so perfect they’re afraid to touch it, because touching anything means fingerprints, and fingerprints mean they can’t pretend it’s sacred anymore. So they keep it distant, immaculate, untouchable… and then they call the distance ‘realism’ when it’s actually fear. They lock themselves inside a story where they’re always one step from freedom, but never allowed to take it.
If your desired reality is supposed to be a life, then it includes the boring parts and the petty parts and the parts where you eat something mediocre at 2 a.m. and regret it. It includes misunderstandings, jealousy, stupid timing, bruises, money problems, and the embarrassing moment where you realize you’ve been romanticizing someone who also leaves dishes in the sink. If you can’t tolerate that, you don’t want a reality—you want anesthesia.
So here’s the advice, since you asked me to give advice like a responsible adult. Stop fighting your own desire like it’s an enemy soldier. Hold your ground without turning every day into a war. Don’t argue with strangers to prove you’re ‘serious.’ Don’t perform suffering as a credential. Pick one practical anchor, one small, physical thing you can do consistently, that proves you’re capable of showing up even when you’re not inspired. Not glamorous. Not mystical. Consistent. That’s how you stop making it a pedestal and start making it a place you can actually stand.
And Katsumi, yes, you’re correct. You’re saying, ‘It will still be real.’ You’re saying, ‘Stop treating it like a museum exhibit and start treating it like a life.’ That’s the whole point.
I don’t really “script” my DRs. I channel them. That method feels a lot more natural to me, and it’s become a core part of my shifting practice—because the tiny details tend to fall into place on their own. When everything starts connecting, I get genuinely excited. It’s one of the main ways I reassure myself that my DRs are real, and that I’m actually tuning into something that already exists.
Also: I finally worked up the courage to share a little bit about my DRs, because I’ve mostly kept it private until now. The biggest reason I haven’t talked about my DRs much is tied to my ability—and because of that, this post is 18+. So this post is solely about my ability within my DRs.
Content warnings before you continue: sexual assault (SA) and other heavy themes/difficult subjects connected to this ability.
𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞: 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞
𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖒𝖘 𝖆𝖙 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙
夜にのみ咲くナス科植物
Ability Type: Dual-phase psychotropic ability based on neurological hijacking and biochemical activation.
𝖕𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖔𝖓𝖊: 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖚𝖗𝖊
Phase One is passive and always on. I call it the Allure. It doesn’t “charm” people in a cute way—it rewires the parts of the brain responsible for survival, attachment, and instinct. Specifically, it hits the limbic system and the trauma-response circuitry: the part of you that decides danger/safety, approach/avoid, bond/reject, and flips your body into action before you can think your way out of it. Heart rate, blood pressure, adrenaline, focus—your system chooses a lane and commits.
Inside my radius, that system gets forcibly primed. People don’t react based on who they want to be; they react based on what their nervous system thinks it needs to do to survive. Most people default into one of the five acute stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or sexual arousal (yes, that one counts). Which response shows up isn’t random—it’s shaped by the person’s baseline neurobiology, attachment patterns, and trauma history. Two people can stand the same distance from me and have completely different reactions.
Phase One also does more than trigger a response. The Allure creates a persistent “backdoor” in the target’s nervous system—a tether I can feel and, over time, map. Once it’s formed, I can pick up surface-level emotional impulses and mental static, especially anything tied to fear, desire, intent, or suspicion. It doesn’t feel like an outside voice to them. That’s the scary part. It registers as their own internal noise getting louder—more urgent, more obsessive, more compelling.
Because Phase One is rooted in survival wiring, it isn’t perfectly static. People can shift responses over time depending on conditioning, exposure, coping strategies, and how their nervous system learns to protect itself. Someone who fawns at first might freeze later. Someone who gets angry might start dissociating. The Allure presses the lever; their body decides how to endure it.
Phase Two is active. It uses the backdoor Phase One creates to influence thoughts and behavior so subtly it can pass as the person’s own inner monologue—like their mind arrived at the idea “naturally,” even when it didn’t.
The only clean off-switch is direct contact with Osamu Dazai’s nullification Ability, which shuts both phases down instantly and temporarily returns the surrounding neurobiology to baseline.
And yes—there are serious downsides. Phase One is why I can’t live a normal life. Public spaces aren’t neutral for me. A train, a café, a grocery store—those are just crowds of nervous systems, and my radius turns everyday proximity into a constant chain reaction. I can’t hold normal jobs, I can’t move through the world casually, and I’ve missed out on basic “normal person” experiences because the Allure makes them unsafe—for other people and for me. Thus, what leads me in part to join the ADA (at least in one DR), since I don't have a lot of options career-wise.
𝖕𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖙𝖜𝖔: 𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖑
Phase One is the constant pressure. Phase Two is the part that makes most people's stomach drop when they even think about it.
Phase Two is an active, high-cost mode that can only happen after Phase One has already established its “backdoor.” On top of that, it requires a very specific enzyme circulating in my bloodstream—a biochemical key that lets my Ability escalate from limbic priming into direct neuromodulation.
Once Phase Two is activated, I can rewrite or overlay cognitive processes in anyone within my three-meter radius. It isn’t loud, theatrical mind control. It’s subtle enough that it can pass as a person’s own thoughts.
What it looks like in practice: Implanting thoughts that sound like the target’s own inner voice—the kind of internal sentences people later swear they “just decided” on. Nudging risk calculations, loyalty lines, and priorities in small, believable increments instead of issuing obvious commands. Steering behavior through the target’s existing logic, so even deep introspection often doesn’t catch it. People don’t report “someone controlled me.” They report “a sudden clarity,” or “a decision that felt inevitable.”
That’s why it terrifies most people: it can feel natural to the person it’s happening to.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖇𝖎 𝖆𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖘: 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖊𝖓𝖟𝖞𝖒𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖓𝖊𝖊𝖉𝖊𝖉
As you can already assume, based off the 'succubi,' title, the enzyme is found in semen. Functionally, it’s not about sex in a romantic sense—it’s about chemistry. Without that key in my system, Phase Two stays poisonous to my body and my own neurology. With it, my Ability can move from “your body is reacting” in Phase One to “your mind is being guided," Phase Two.
That can happen in two ways: Synthetic IV formulations (my standard method). Organic ingestion through sexual contact/oral sex (something I avoid almost entirely, because Phase One makes consent messy in a way I refuse to ignore—exceptions are rare and only exist when consent is unquestionably untainted). Which, is only canonically two individuals I have met so far.
Using semen as a routine activation source would be unethical on its face—and actively dangerous when paired with Phase One. I’m not willing to build operational readiness on something that risks exploitation or contaminated consent. So I rely primarily on synthetic IV formulations developed by childhood friend who is a doctor, who personally did research and formulated this IVs to my biology. These IV cocktails use a lab-produced, weakened analog of the original enzyme—enough to unlock Phase Two, but with lower potency and shorter duration than the organic source. That compromise keeps me from crossing lines I won’t cross, but it comes with a brutal tradeoff.
The weaker synthetic key means I need more frequent dosing to stay functional. Over time, metabolizing it grinds my body down. Even between missions, I don’t baseline as “healthy.” I baseline as someone living with long-term toxic exposure: exhaustion that doesn’t lift, pallor, intermittent tremors, cardiac strain, and constant medical monitoring.
In the ADA DR, Yosano and I eventually land on a partial solution: a permanent IV port with a portable pump. It reduces the damage from repeated needle insertions and allows tighter dosing control, but it doesn’t stop the underlying problem. It just makes the problem survivable for longer.
Organic ingestion changes how my body handles the enzyme. Instead of a short, unstable spike, my system can build a temporary reserve—an internal store of activation potential that: delays the worst poisoning symptoms, extends the window where Phase Two is usable, and stabilizes the output at a higher level.
Because organic activation intersects directly with the Allure and the contamination of sexual consent, I treat it as ethically fraught and only allow it under tightly controlled circumstances—most notably with DR's my ex-husband, who is uniquely unaffected by Phase One and can consent without neurobiological interference due to our abilities being similar and cancelling each other out.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖆 𝖈𝖔𝖘𝖙
Phase Two isn’t free. It charges interest immediately. Each use accelerates a syndrome clinically similar to belladonna poisoning—which is exactly why my Ability carries that codename. Within roughly thirty minutes of deploying active mind control, my body begins sliding into a recognizable cluster of symptoms:
♱ cardiovascular strain: tachycardia, palpitations, possible arrhythmias;
♱ neurological risk: tremors, and seizures if I push too far.
These episodes can’t be fully prevented—only managed, delayed, and survived. Every Phase Two deployment is a calculated sacrifice of my health. Long term, chronic exposure is slowly killing me. I’m not naïve about that. I’m fully aware that continued use likely caps my lifespan somewhere around thirty. That’s the tightrope I live on: the necessity of using this power versus the physiological, moral, and relational cost of it—every single time.
Is my Ability dangerous? Yes—but it’s more dangerous to me than it is to anyone else. The simplest way to put it is that it turns me into a walking belladonna plant: the toxin is real, the effects are real, and I’m the one absorbing the poison every time I have to use it. That’s why Ranpo sometimes teases me by calling me a “succubus with ethics.” He means it kindly—his way of acknowledging that I could be far worse, and that I’m trying, constantly, to be careful with something that was never designed to be safe.
𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙'𝖘 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖕𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖊?
Let's answer the fun question. I did tarot readings and asked so here is everyone in my all of my BSD DRs' allure responses:
Dazai: Fuck. Just straight up arousal, he hates and loves it at the same time. Dude straight up a freak and edges himself with it, cause it's the "most alive," thing he's felt... Considering that he keeps toying it, the allure adapts and changes it's tactics with him on a near daily basis... So.... what's really funny (to me) is this eventually becomes a 'breeding kink' as his neurology as decided that's the solution to his 'emptiness.' He really hates that part, but again, that is your neurology's fault buddy, not mine.
Ranpo: Freeze, for like 3 seconds and then he's fine. He said at first it was like a buzzing in his head, and eventually he got used to it and could tune it out.
Fukuzawa: Freeze, but in a PTSD kind of way.
Yosano: Fawn, but like aggressive fawn.
Kunikida: Fight, he wants to fight me on everything when within 3 meters. Outside of that, he thinks I work hard and am a hard worker. He can't win.
Mori: Weirdly fawn, and I aggressively hate it.
Atsushi: Flight, like a hissing cat. Home boy legit hissed at me when we first met, like a cat, and ran. He eventually adapts to fawn, but I will forever remember being hissed at.
Kyoka: Freeze, at first. She later adapts to fawn.
Tanizaki: Flight, just straight up flees.
Naomi: Fawn.
Chuya: Fuck/arousal with elements of fight: raw, impulsive attraction mixed with a simmering aggression. It made an awkward first meeting, cause he didn't know and was confused.
Fyodor: Fuck/arousal, and he hates it. Like religiously, hates it, hates me because of it. Which is rude, cause again, it's your own neurology buddy, not my choice.
Nikolai: Fuck/arousal, which he just eventually likes messing with it and seeing what happens.
Collection of tarot readers on tumblr who do shifting pick a card readings ᝰ.ᐟ 🍏
i might have been one of the few people who started doing pick a card readings under the shiftblr tag but we have so many more tarot readers in the community now, that i feel like it's time to give them some more love and attention !! .ೃ
i hope you guys don't mind the tag ! - if anyone wants to be removed or added to this post or if you know more shiftblr readers on here that i should add, let me know. this was made very spontaneously, so I might have overseen or forgotten someone... sorry!
ᯓ. 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚋𝚕𝚛
in order of how old their first shifting pac is that i found - no bias here !! feel free to check out each of their masterlists to find more readings ~
I just want to thank @daisys-reality for including me in this post, despite being a small blog and inactive for months. I do truly enjoy the readings on this list, and a lot of these are amazing blogs. Please go check them out and support them! Thank you! 💜
In my BSD dr, I join the ada around the same time that Ranpo does. My family is totally okay with me joining the ada!
Fast forward a couple of years and its now present time like in bsd except instead of it being the 2010’s it takes place in the 2020’s! I’m Ranpo’s age in my dr.
In my dr the ada and pm have peace!
My best friends are Ranpo and Yosano! I also adopt Aya because yes.
My ability is A Court of Mist and Fury! Like the book! I can basically teleport kinda like Rhysand in the book.
I have Sigma, Bram, and Nikolai join the ada after the current events in the manga! Also Bram doesn’t die because yeah.
I also scripted that I have quite a bit of followers on social media platforms and have a youtube channel with Ranpo!!!
3D, like physical objects, no. Unless it was something found/bought in your CR.
People/Spirits/Souls is another thing entirely cause technically a version of them exists in your CR, it then becomes a matter of manifesting them into your life.
For example — Technically my DR S/O exists in my CR. He may not look physically the same, but his personality/soul would be the same. It’s a matter of manifesting them into my life once you realize that. It’s similar to, ‘manifesting your ideal partner,’ at that point.
Last night when I was in the mind awake, body asleep state. I usually focus on the back of my eyelids, looking into the darkness being as they helps me shift.
But last night I experienced something that I haven't experienced before, even though my eyes were closed, I could see another set of eyelids opening and closing, even though I know that my eyes were closed!!
Yes, I have experienced this, and it’s actually a well-documented phenomenon when shifting or entering deep meditative states. What you’re describing is often referred to as the “inner eye” or “astral sight” activating. This happens when your physical body is deeply relaxed—almost asleep—but your mind remains awake and aware.
Here’s what is happening when attempting to shift, and some possible explanations:
1. Dissociation from the Physical Body – When you reach the mind-awake, body-asleep state, your consciousness begins to detach from physical sensations, including your normal eyesight. This can result in perceiving things beyond your closed eyelids, as your awareness shifts from the physical realm to more subtle, energetic perceptions.
2. Hypnagogic Imagery – The stage between wakefulness and sleep is known for producing hypnagogic hallucinations—flashes of light, geometric patterns, or even the illusion of opening and closing eyes. This is because your brain is transitioning into a dream-like state while you’re still conscious.
3. Energetic or Astral Sight – Some believe that when shifting, lucid dreaming, or astral projecting, your consciousness starts perceiving through a different “set of eyes” that aren’t physical but rather energetic. This can feel like you’re opening and closing another set of eyelids, even though your physical eyes remain shut.
4. Third Eye Activation – Many spiritual practitioners associate this experience with an activated third eye (pineal gland), which can allow you to see beyond physical limitations. Some shifters report seeing light, colors, or even parts of their DR while in this state.
5. Your Awareness Is Transitioning – In shifting, you are consciously moving your focus from your CR to your DR. The sensation of an extra set of eyelids blinking may indicate that your awareness is fluctuating between the two, showing that you are on the brink of shifting.
Experiencing this is actually a good sign! It means your consciousness is detaching from your physical senses, making it easier to transition into your DR. Next time it happens, try to relax into the experience rather than questioning it—it could be a sign that you’re very close to successfully shifting!
Oh, woah! Thank you for the reply!! I thought it must have been a good sign, but me being me concentrated on it too much, and it faded. So, when it happens again, just flow with it?
Letting go and stopping the urge to control the process is the main issue shifters run into, including myself. Our subconscious already knows how to shift and where we want to go—we just need to trust it.
Shifting is a natural process, but when we consciously try to force it, we create resistance. The subconscious mind operates effortlessly, guiding us where we intend to go without overthinking. When we try to micromanage every sensation or doubt the process, we signal hesitation, which keeps us anchored in our CR. True detachment—trusting that shifting will happen on its own—allows the subconscious to take over, making the transition much smoother.
So yes, going with the “flow,” relaxing and allowing your subconscious to take over, is key. 🔑
Last night when I was in the mind awake, body asleep state. I usually focus on the back of my eyelids, looking into the darkness being as they helps me shift.
But last night I experienced something that I haven't experienced before, even though my eyes were closed, I could see another set of eyelids opening and closing, even though I know that my eyes were closed!!
Yes, I have experienced this, and it’s actually a well-documented phenomenon when shifting or entering deep meditative states. What you’re describing is often referred to as the “inner eye” or “astral sight” activating. This happens when your physical body is deeply relaxed—almost asleep—but your mind remains awake and aware.
Here’s what is happening when attempting to shift, and some possible explanations:
1. Dissociation from the Physical Body – When you reach the mind-awake, body-asleep state, your consciousness begins to detach from physical sensations, including your normal eyesight. This can result in perceiving things beyond your closed eyelids, as your awareness shifts from the physical realm to more subtle, energetic perceptions.
2. Hypnagogic Imagery – The stage between wakefulness and sleep is known for producing hypnagogic hallucinations—flashes of light, geometric patterns, or even the illusion of opening and closing eyes. This is because your brain is transitioning into a dream-like state while you’re still conscious.
3. Energetic or Astral Sight – Some believe that when shifting, lucid dreaming, or astral projecting, your consciousness starts perceiving through a different “set of eyes” that aren’t physical but rather energetic. This can feel like you’re opening and closing another set of eyelids, even though your physical eyes remain shut.
4. Third Eye Activation – Many spiritual practitioners associate this experience with an activated third eye (pineal gland), which can allow you to see beyond physical limitations. Some shifters report seeing light, colors, or even parts of their DR while in this state.
5. Your Awareness Is Transitioning – In shifting, you are consciously moving your focus from your CR to your DR. The sensation of an extra set of eyelids blinking may indicate that your awareness is fluctuating between the two, showing that you are on the brink of shifting.
Experiencing this is actually a good sign! It means your consciousness is detaching from your physical senses, making it easier to transition into your DR. Next time it happens, try to relax into the experience rather than questioning it—it could be a sign that you’re very close to successfully shifting!
shifters scripting the same person in all their realities or just shifting for people who are at their core, practically the same person is just so. poetically beautiful.
"you don't exist here in this reality, but I will make sure we are together in every other one" like hello?? this is love at its peak?? choosing the same person again and again, choosing to be with them no matter the situation??
