Whether it’s our goals versus what we see as shortcomings, our opinions and ideals versus theirs, our needs versus theirs, our culture versus theirs, our grievance versus theirs...etc., our go-to language is invariably the metaphor of the fight, or what I’m calling versus language.
We even internalize versus language against aspects of ourselves we perceive as less worthy, like procrastination or physical weakness. There is a difference between challenging ourselves to be our best, most authentic selves, and setting ourselves up for internal conflict.
After all, we can’t fight ourselves and win.
In a fight, in order to win, we believe there must be a loser, but if we seek to win at life, win/win is the highest and best possible outcome. Nevertheless, we habitually use versus language to encourage:
“Go out there and annihilate the competition”
Hyping ourselves to perform with versus language that warriors might use in a life or death battle seems like a dubious approach to a peaceful, fulfilled life where the optimal outcome is win/win. In this world of terror, war, conflict, hatred, and divisiveness, don’t we all ache for goodness, kindness, and love?
For that reason, I’ve recently been attempting to catch myself when the familiar versus phrases come to mind, and instead practice using positive, loving words to encourage myself and others, like:
“It brings me so much joy to see you thriving”
We don’t necessarily have to be against anything in order to be for something, do we? Choices that remove the conflict of versus language leave room in our experience for the optimal win/win.
Anyway, that is my latest train-wreck of thought
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