As a lesbian, a lot of antis I’ve met who aren’t lesbians, love speaking over lesbians! And are just lesbiphobic, transphobic, and love erasing our history.
If you are not a lesbian, you do not get a say in lesbian matters, even more so if you do not care to research lesbian history. You all sound like TERFS, you all sound transphobic.
Why do you expect all lesbians to use She/her and fall into two separate boxes of “small femme” and “tall muscular butch.” That is just lesbian fetishization. And btw if you’re breaking down lesbian history (which has existed since Sappho, who WROTE about he/him lesbians.) Into a stupid fucking flow chart, I’m not gonna fucking listen to you. Lesbian spaces where built by he/him lesbians, and you as non lesbians do not get to kick them out.
WLW ≠ Lesbian. Like how MLM ≠ gay. You can be in a WLW relationship and not be a lesbian (bisexual and pansexual people.) and the definition you ALL love to cling to of “Non man loving non man” was made with RACIST INTENT! It was made TO EXCLUDE women of color, who were CONSIDERED MEN!! So maybe fucking read a bit before using a term made to exclude POC.
Okay now for the actual history lesson
The term lesbian was coined was coined in the 1900’s, we are unsure when. The term comes from the previously mentioned Sappho. Who was from the “isle of lesbos” in Greece. This is also where the term sapphic comes from. In the 1900’s the sapphic community (mostly the black sapphic community, but white spaces too.) were ALREADY playing around with pronouns, gender identities, and dating dynamics.
Black lesbians, mostly in Harlem. Made the terms “Mama” and “Papa” in the 1920’s to describe what we knew as “butch and femme” relationships. These terms where also made by black lesbians in the 1940’s before being commonly adopted among white lesbians who where “slumming it” with black lesbians.
While some didn’t use he/him pronouns, others did. Firstly for their safety, and secondly because playing around with pronouns was already part of lesbian culture! It always has been! “Passing offered a form of protection that many masc lesbians needed to survive.” To quote Author Quispe López.
Lesbians spaces have always included genderqueer people. Stone butch blues was written by a genderqueer transman lesbian, Leslie Feinberg. Who used all pronouns.
The term lesbian really didn’t even include femme people until the 60’s, before then only butch/studs used the term. Femmes were just gay.
If you think another transmans experience somehow invalidates yours. Then you probably have internalized transphobia to work around.
If you think comparing he/him lesbians to hate crimes and lynching like I’ve seen, you need to shut the fuck up.
If you think you as a non lesbian can order lesbians a certain way, you’re lesbiphobic.
If you say “men invading woman spaces!” You’re a TERF
Transmen are not cisman, I will always have woman experiences. I still menstruate and have a womb, I still have boobs. To compare us is a faulty argument at best and misandrist at worst (in the context of, stripping away sexism transman have experienced.)
Even more so, if a cisman feels connected to lesbianism, they’re probably not a cisman!
Genderqueer and non-binary people can be lesbians, this includes AMAB people. They are non men. Stop trying to argue “well you were born a man.” Thats transphobic.
You can date a man and be a lesbian with all of this context said.
https://www.them.us/story/he-him-lesbians-pronouns-history-community
