Shit That Happens in the LibLab

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Me: So what's the next step? I made all of the corrections and then reread the paper twice to make sure I knew what you and I were both saying. Him: The next step is your presentation on Thursday. I want you to do a great job! The paper is good, very good. The presentation must be at the same level, ok? A domani, Lorenzo Me: Hahaha why are you so intimidating right now! I wasn't planning on planning ahead of time for that presentation. If I can just talk it out, even if it's slow, I'll do better than if I try to prepare something and get nervous. I know my conference work. Him: I'm not intimidating, I know you will do magic! But that is for real the next step.

Our latest email interaction

[shit-in-liblab-blog]

Girl who asks if it is really true that the computer deletes anything she's had on there or put in the trash: No, we put that on the computer to keep you on your toes. Wouldn't want you getting too comfortable with saving. And when I joke with you and ask you if you're putting porn on the computers & you respond that you didn't put anything important on there, without smiling, this bums me out. Please come back with your sense of humor next time.

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Conversation

Man: "umm the copier closest to us, this one, the one on the right-- is broken! And it won't log me out!" Me: "ok, it's probably ok that it won't log you out if it's broken. Also that's not my jurisdiction, but I'll look at it to see if I can help." Man: "wow! You have a very narrow purview, DON'T you?!" Only a split second pause Me: "well, yes, I mostly smile at people and work with the printers." Man: "well, SOMETIMES!!" And he fumes off. Rudeness is simply terrible for the world. It didn't look good on him. But mostly I'm mad because no, actually, I smile ALL the time. But he is certainly never getting a smile from me ever again. Rather, he's getting a HUGE smile.

[shit-in-liblab-blog]

Today I got a sunburn at work.

Between the hours of 1 and 3, the sun shines directly at the help desk like some sort of shining beacon pointing lost souls towards me, the lab monitor.

It's really fucking hot, and it blinds me. I usually have to wear sunglasses inside, which makes me look like a ham sandwich. If you see me this way, know I have extremely sensitive eyes, not an affinity for rocking Kanye-esque looks.

And today, my right arm got a sunburn. Inside. While I was doing my homework and attending to the duties of the lab. But just my right arm. I'm thinking I may have to shift the desk during my next shift.

[shit-in-liblab-blog]

A guy just walked by me carrying a liblab computer. I wouldn't have noticed him had he not told me, "don't worry, I'm supposed to have this." Yeah, buddy, that's what I say when I steal shit, too. Hope you enjoy your new Mac. Pulled one over on me.

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IN ALL SERIOUSNESS!

Why don't people read the huge goddamn signs that say not to copy on the printers?! Helpless. How did you get in here??

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Yes, you may upload pictures onto the school computers, but only as long as they're absolutely filthy and involve strange fetishes!!!

[shit-in-liblab-blog]

To the girl who approached me as I was leaving

and asked me, "I put in my number without all the zeros. Does it need the zeros?"

and to whom I answered, "Yes, you have to put all three zeros,"

and who responded with, "So I have to put all three zeros? Even though I already did it? I have to start over?":

Yes. That it what it means when I say "you have to." It means it will not work without all three zeros. I'm sorry you have to go allllllll the way back to your computer, press print again, and enter in three, countem, three zeros. That shit sucks.

[shit-in-liblab-blog]

Public Service Announcement:

If you approach a worker by shouting:

"HEY!"

"Excuse me! That copier right there, it just stopped working! Just shut down! Automatically!"

And continue to barrade her with the insistence that it has done so, even despite her telling you it is not actually part of her job but still going to find someone to help you anyway...

Ya mamma shoulda raised ya better. Just chill out and be nice. I'll probably empathize with you.

[shit-in-liblab-blog]

Searches that happened in the liblab today:

Starcasm.net

Celebrity School Pics-http://www.celebrityschoolpics.com/category/3/hip-hop/

cheap high heel shopping

anime

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Some Sarah Lawrence girls a few years back checkin' out some L word while the 'rents were out.

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This is what one might find when searching "breaking a computer" in Google Images.

Can anyone explain this?

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Can I help you?

No. Probably not. I'm sorry.

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This is how I feel. Respect that.

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God. Damn.

Who broke the fucking stapler?

How hard is it to staple your paper without breaking the stapler, you fucking cavepeople.

[shit-in-liblab-blog]

To the man who told me that he logged out of the computer

And then took me to the computer to show me:

thank you. I am so glad you found the log-out button unassisted. I am so glad you followed the unspoken rule of logging out before leaving. You earned a thumbs up from your fellow comrades in the lab. You spared the next user the extra click.