Sh** Stephanie Says @shit-stephanie-says - Tumblr Blog

Panic? I'm not pannikin.

Stephanie, saying words during our visit to Pannikin La Jolla

Experimental Stephanie

KIM: "Wait, you're going to deliberately be late for lab?"

STEPHANIE: "Yes."

KIM: "Wow. You're getting pretty experimental with your life huh?"

STEPHANIE: "Yes... But mostly just mental."

#clever wordplay #she wasn't mental enough to skip the stairs and slide down a dirt path with me tho #its ok #still love you

Long lost half-sister

Kim:"Hi there! I'm Stephanie's half-sister."

Stephanie:"And by half, she means like, half our height." ‪#‎ouch‬

#shit stephanie says #so clever #much burn

Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree...

Stephanie: "Kim's funny."

Mrs. Smith: "Hey, well looks aren't everything." #ouch

#shit the smiths say #apple doesnt fall far form the tree

Omg. A Kim cult is called a KILT! HAHAHAHAHHA

Stephanie, the wise

And we gonna let it burn, burn, burn, burn

Donna: Let me take this stupid trash out.

Stephanie: Well, that's not really a nice thing to say about Kim.

#shit stephanie says #ouch #burn burn burn

Also coming soon to a theater near you... Shit-Kim-Says: The Musical "You'll laugh, you'll cry, and of course, you won't be able to help but sing along to favorites such as 'The Bathroom Boogie' and 'Give Me Back My Fireball or So Help Me!'. 5 stars." -- Entertainment Monthly.

Stephanie, the stand-up comedian whose lampoons are both funny and incisively accurate.

#shit stephanie says #facebook comments by stephanie

StePunny

STEPHANIE: Yeah I think it's either the bone or the cartilage.

KIM: Your face is a cartilage

STEPHANIE: Why-- cause it's so beautiful it should be on a card?

#shit stephanie says #stepunny

Kim: "I can smell bullshit a mile away." #she may not have a conventionally exquisite sense of smell #as in she smells next to nothing #but perhaps that's because her sniffer is calibrated for bs

Stephanie, on preparing shit-kim-says tags.

#shit stephanie says #shit stephanie writes #shit kim says is basically shit stephanie says #the story is not told by the story but by the author #the ginge fragrance is pervasive

Stephanie's Fans

KIM: Dude, people really like what you said. They don't like the picture, but they like your comment.

STEPHANIE: Good. I'm glad I have fans.

STEPHANIE: 'Cause it was getting really hot in here

#shit stephanie says #majorLOLs #wit game too strong

Degrees

KIM: Animals don't talk to me.

STEPHANIE: They talk to me. I've had a full conversation with a crow.

KIM: You should get that checked out.

STEPHANIE: You gonna check me out, Kim?