Shit Gunblr Says

[shitgunblrsays]

nuggy: I don't know which is more confusing

nuggy: the fact that I stumbled across audio of the intro cutscene of Killzone while on random seek in my phone's music folder

nuggy: or the fact that I know this speech word for word

austin: how did it even get on your phone

nuggy: I don't remember

nuggy: but I do remember that ten years ago I asked for time

nuggy: and that time was granted by you

nuggy: you, the strength in my arm

nuggy: beholders of my dreams

austin: holy shit paul

[shitgunblrsays]

CONSIDER THE RAMIFICATIONS OF SMASHIN THAT MUHFUKN LIKE BUTTON

Daniel

[shitgunblrsays]

Alex: alternatively, can I become a homeless public masturbator and freeze to death on valentine's day

Nuggy: nah you gotta freeze to death on christmas that way you can play the religion angle

[shitgunblrsays]

[3:50:45 AM] Austin: I mean yeah, blokes will perish, but it's a war

[3:50:55 AM] Nick: >blokes

[3:50:57 AM] Nick: who are you

[3:51:03 AM] Nick: and what have you done to my canadian

[3:51:11 AM] Austin: i

[3:51:16 AM] Austin: my manager is irish

[3:51:28 AM] Nick: WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY CANADIAN

[shitgunblrsays]

Abe: Seriously that actually happens I had a guy say merry christmas and then just stop, his face sunk in worry, and he went "Oh wait, you don't celebrate Christmas do you"

Nuggy: you should have been like YES I AM CELEBRATE CHRIST MASS IN MY HOMETOWN OF MECCA AL-TALIBAN

Abe: I will next time

[shitgunblrsays]

the very thought of packing twine making its way into someone's ass at the same velocity as someone slurping spaghetti may have actually just given me a rugburn-like stigmata of the asshole

moistnugget

[shitgunblrsays]

Abe: Who's the guy from Greek myth who was a bomb-ass lyre player and then his bae kicked the bucket or some shit and he rocked his way down the highway to hell and got her back on the contingency that he doesn't look at her until the get back up the stairway to heaven and he peeks thinking she wasn't there anymore because he can't risk assess for shit and ruins everything

Nick: orpheus

Abe: Thanks

[davidfosterflawless-deactivated]

[brassers-deactivated20181223]

Congratulations!

[tacothrasher762]

Congratulations!

[deaglebranddeagle]

Congratulations Shinji!

[shitgunblrsays]

Congratulations!

[brassers-deactivated20181223]

ice in the swamp is so damn frosty, the people like “damn, that’s a cold-ass donkey”

[shitgunblrsays]

[21:29:53] Zsuki: fuck you dan

[21:29:55] Zsuki: just fuck you

[21:30:02] Zsuki: G3 > everything

[21:30:09] Mícheál: muh man

[21:30:20] Zsuki: im in a love affair with FALs and CETMEs but the G3 is my true love

[21:30:44] Daniel: The G3 is such a mediocre design, though.

[21:31:21] Mícheál: I disagree

[21:31:37] Daniel: It's okay.

[21:31:42] Daniel: Everybody's wrong from time to time.

[21:31:46] Mícheál: :DDD

[21:31:52] Daniel: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[shitgunblrsays]

Talking about the flu

[1:00:25 PM] Daniel: I hope you get over it soon.

[1:01:32 PM] Zsuki: me too cause im horny as hell

[shitgunblrsays]

Gunblr Calendar master list

January February March April: Jack May: Dan and Jeremy June: Nuggy July August September October: Lindy November December: We draw straws and loser gets dressed up in the best "Santa Baby" outfit we can find

[shitgunblrsays]

Alex: I forgot how naked it was

[11:28:00 PM] Alex: turns out pretty naked

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Nick: People saying my drinks look like jizz

Nick: It's green

Nick: If your jizz is green, get help

Daniel: I've seen green hued jizz in porn before.

Daniel: It was extremely fucking disturbing.

Nuggy: WHO YA GONNA CALL

Nuggy: GHOST BUST A NUT

[shitgunblrsays]

Nuggy: LOOK AT THIS DIRTY OLD PENNY

Nuggy: GOOD AS NEW

Jeremy: OI MATE 'OW WE E'EN GET A PENNY

Nuggy: some chav intern stabbed an american tourist

Jeremy: BANG AND THE PENNY IS GONE

Jeremy: it just fucking

Jeremy: dissolves

Nuggy: >completely ignoring that the patina that had formed on it was stopping it from corroding

Nuggy: >he has effectively murdered that coin

Nuggy: THIS KILLS THE CURRENCY

Jeremy: what if it just dissolved though

Jeremy: fbi swarms his house

Jeremy: he's indicted

Jeremy: "GOT YOU THIS TIME FUCKFACE"

Jeremy: "THINK YOU CAN JUST DISSOLVE MISTER LINCOLN LIKE THAT CAN YA?"

Jeremy: he gets a rifle butt to the face

Jeremy: "THAT'S FOR GIVING US PIERS MORGAN"

Nuggy: and a quick handjob in the FBI van

Nuggy: "And that's for giving us Simon Pegg"

Jeremy: lmfaoadsfasdfasdf

[shitgunblrsays]

I'm not taking pictures of myself doing my "Guaranteed anal" face with other people around.

cumsoline

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Abe: I just remembered how I know the Ukrainian flag

Abe: Some Ukrainian kids I knew back in middle school, they were brothers

Abe: One of them taught me that it's blue over gold because it's supposed to be the open sky over fields of grain

Abe: Now you know

Nuggy: I knew that because I just googled the flag of ukraine and got exactly that

Nuggy: but post-chernobyl maybe it should be slate grey over green-tinged brown

Nick: I feel bad for them

Nick: All anyone knows them for is STALKER

Nuggy: My girlfriend's stepmother and stepbrother are ukranian

Nuggy: and she mentioned she heard him talking about STALKER

Nuggy: and at first I was surprised because he's 10

Nuggy: and then I understood because I remembered that besides alpha-particles, that's pretty much the only thing to come out of that country in the last quarter-decade

Abe: I'm sending that last few messages to a Ukrainian to see if they get offended should someone stop me

Nuggy: dude send it

Nuggy: see if they try to kill you

Abe: he laughed