Life Is A Joke

26 and gay as hell. Recently moved back in with my super christian homophobic mother because money. Laugh with me at the foolishness so I don’t cry.

[shitmymomsays]

I made an appointment with a therapist for my mom and I. We start next week. Suddenly I would like a prescription for anti-anxiety meds

[shitmymomsays]

Had our first session and I’ve had a headache since we got home.

I don’t even know where to begin... but I gotta get out of here. A future where my mother and I have a relationship? Not likely.

[shitmymomsays]

I made an appointment with a therapist for my mom and I. We start next week. Suddenly I would like a prescription for anti-anxiety meds

[shitmymomsays]

Advice

So I just got my masters degree (yay) and graduation is in May.

Today my mother brought up flights and hotels for the ceremony and I’m suddenly stressed. I have a girlfriend that I’m very serious about but mother and I haven’t reached the point where we talk about my sexuality. My girlfriend will be at graduation so I figure the adult thing to do would be to finally try to come to an understanding but I don’t wannnaaaaaa (kicking and screaming).

For background, I was outed to her almost 5 years ago by an unidentified family member. An explosion of “you’re going to hell/I don’t believe you’re really like this/you were deceitful by not telling me” and the like followed. She denies most of her wrongdoing but we haven’t been on good terms nor have we really talked about it since but I live with her as of 4 months ago because I’m broke. She tries to be nice but she’s HELLA religious so the feelings of disapproval are still there.

Any advice on how to officially come out to my mother so that she won’t ruin my graduation when she sees my gf would be amazing.

[shitmymomsays]

Love is God

... reads the tattoo on my collarbone. Having been raised within one of the most restrictive versions of Christianity, it took a lot of reflection and tears and prayer and therapy for me to find God for myself. And I found love. In the beds of other Black women. On the streets during protests. In the raspy voices of singers in jazz restaurants. In the poetry of youth. Sometimes even in church. But Love is the thing. It’s the thing we’re all looking for. It’s that validation. That tingly feeling that is confirmation that something exists that’s greater than your senses.

So I tattooed it. On my mother’s birthday which I reclaimed for myself years ago.

This evening, wearing a tank top before bed and downloading an app on my mom’s phone for her, she says “[Black mom ‘mm’ of disapproval] when did you get that?” “You’re just noticing it?!” (I’ve had it for 3 years now) “I never saw the whole thing. That’s a lie.”

“Says you”, I respond and end the conversation. I finish what I’m doing, give her back her phone and she says goodnight in her regular tone.

I’m sure she’ll bring up my tattoo in a nasty way at a later date when she’s angry. Try to tarnish what was put there to restore the relationship with spirituality she nearly destroyed for me.

[shitmymomsays]

Only my mother can make something as simple as watching HGTV stressful.

Literally all this lady watches is HGTV and lifetime movies. The lifetime movies actually make me gag but I’ll try to sit and bond over house hunters now and again. But she changes the channel any and every time a queer couple is featured. Like do you think the gay is gonna jump out and get you? There’s no PDA, it’s fucking hgtv! They’re just looking at houses.

That simple act of changing the channel will have me spiraling, a subtle reminder that she may never accept my queer identity. That my future wife may never be invited for holidays. That I may be looking at a future without my mother in it.

But also, how fucking petty?!

[shitmymomsays]

The other night I asked for hand soap for my bathroom. Before handing me this bottle that my cousin bought, my mom tried to peel the sticker off because “zen is eastern religion” 🙃