STUFF MY PLAYERS, DMs, AND GAMER FRIENDS SAY

A blog where I post the absurd and wonderful things uttered by d&d players and gamers.  

[shitmyplayerssay]

At least we know Rein can charge his meat into Ana and Bastion will still get POTG

Hats

[shitmyplayerssay]

Ohana means family and family means nothing to me.

Matthew, in a stitch voice

[shitmyplayerssay]

DM: ”It’s about 50 ft by 30ft-” Druid: ”Those numbers mean nothing to me. Measure in trees please.”

[shitmyplayerssay]

DM had the cleric and druid roll for survival with disadvantage. They both proceeded to roll nat 20’s and lose their minds over their terrible luck.

[shitmyplayerssay]

I hate you. Yes.

Our DM, after being asked if licking something counted as watering it.

[shitmyplayerssay]

Dream: Fuck, I dropped all the d10’s. Well, I guess under the desk is my home now.

Ren: (To the tune of Under the Sea) Under the desk, Under the desk!

[shitmyplayerssay]

“I think I just won Overwatch. I am Jeff now.”

Dream

[shitmyplayerssay]

Donny: (Talking about a box with people trapped in it) It’s chaotic in here.

Ren: But is it neutral?

[shitmyplayerssay]

“I wasn’t joking [about eating an animal]! I’m Fantasy Asian!”

Yovani

[shitmyplayerssay]

Streaming!

Hey everyone!!

I’ve started streaming and am currently streaming overwatch! It would be amazing if some of you would be willing to come and watch. Yovani is also here so you may get some inperson quotes and also hear what we sound like!

https://www.twitch.tv/janey_springs

Come and join us! We’d love to have you!

-Dreamcatcher

Twitch

Twitch is the world's leading video platform and community for gamers.

[shitmyplayerssay]

“The sex is so bad he steals your dick”

- our DM after our rogue failed his ‘sex roll’

[shitmyplayerssay]

"You may do whatever you like with those snakes, but they may not go into those holes."

Rahmiel, our Boros angel cleric

[shitmyplayerssay]

Parents

Our bards player texted her dad

“I’m at D&D”

He replied

“Text me when you’re leaving Duncan Dounuts”

[shitmyplayerssay]

My Party is a Godsdamned Disaster

Playing Lost Mines with a party of four - Human Paladin (intending to go oathbreaker), Human Fighter (one of the premades), Goblin Rogue (the reason for the paladin intending to go oathbreaker), and an Aarakocra Druid controlled by me, the DM.

In Cragmaw Hideout, just murdered five of six goblins in the eating cave. Paladin: I'm going to try and kill the last goblin. (Total 10, misses) Fighter: I'll try (Total 14, misses (the goblins have an AC of 15)) Aarakocra: My turn. (Nat 1) This proceeded for another twelve attempts, until the rogue got bored of watching us fail miserably and took care of the goblin.

[shitmyplayerssay]

Need some ice for that burn?

(Context: We're playing a Dungeons and Dragons game based on Danganronpa. Everyone has just met back together after exploring the school for clues.)

Jun: If it doesn't share a clear purpose, it's irrelevant.

Satoro: So does that mean you're irrelevant?

[shitmyplayerssay]

In Soviet Narnia

Group ends up in a narnia like plane, have to fight a group sucking magic and all that'll destroy that plane.

Going up their tower, we run into some mimic slime monster things that happened to take the form of hordes of coins.

Rogue (ooc): But all I want to do is horde the coins! *as she's engulfed by the mimic slime monster thing*

Bard (ooc): in Soviet Narnia, Coins hord you!

[shitmyplayerssay]

Bard: I have 50 feet of rope.

Paladin: We can tie nooses and hang ourselves

Rogue: We can save that for plan c.

Cleric: Oh god, there's only 2 plans before that.

Rogue: If we can't get it in two tries, there's no reason to continue.