Shit people say to non binary folk

This blog used to be only about what crap we non binary folks are told on dating sites. But through asks and submissions and my own tendency to derail this blog's purpose, the specific settings of said crap has widened. A bunch of other unrelated non binary issues may or may not pop up on your newsfeed if you follow hah.

[powerfulwizard]

“Women” is an inclusive enough umbrella term when talking about women’s issues. Saying “women and people who identify as women” is just unnecessary word jumble and you’re basically just saying “women and people that think they are women” and you should stop. The term “woman” is completely inclusive of trans women.

[shitnbpplhear]

I definitely agree that the term woman intrinsically includes trans women.

However when writing event descriptions, in my experience many trans women (and trans people in general) feel safer participating if trans inclusion is specified! This helps screen for potential TERFy events!!

[shitnbpplhear]

You just answered an anon I sent several months ago. I was the long haired agender amab person asking for androgynous advice. I really like the advice you gave but I thought I'd update that I realised I'm not agender I'm non-binary in some way and honestly wearing women's shirts works quite well, if subtly. Thank you for the kind words~ (Also yes I've kept the hair, my boyfriend. Calls it a beautiful floof and it's great)

<3 <3 <3

[shitnbpplhear]

Hey folks, sorry for being MIA, I deleted the Tumblr app from my phone for finals month (this was like, end of March ahah) and forgot all about this social media platform oops!! (I almost stopped going on FB and IG as well so it’s nothing personal hahaha.)

I will try to log on more regularly from my computer!!

[shitnbpplhear]

Hi my name is Silas and this is my song it’s called “Cis people are exhausting and terrifying” [Strums a guitar and just starts sobbing]

Sooooo relatable!!!!

[shitnbpplhear]

How the hell do I get an androgynous look while being amab. I've got long hair and I don't want to cut it at all but all the stuff I've looked up is either for afab ppl or ppl with short hair. How do I do it!? -an agender person (sorry if it's too much)

*****This was in my drafts so I am unsure whether or not I have previously replied to this, sorry!!******

Hi! Well first, that really depends on what androgynous means to you! Unfortunately lots of folks use it as meaning “masc clothes on a body read as feminine”, which is probably why you have been having that problem!!Some tips I have would be:- combining masc and fem things: a skirt or mini-shorts-and-tights with a button-down shirt, traditional “menswear” with makeup and heels, traditional “menswear” in bold florals or colours, t-shirt dresses, oversized t-shirts with playful leggings…- things that aren’t particularly gendered: assymetrical or rainbow-coloured hair, a t-shirt and skinny jeans, shoes that aren’t gender-marketed (like Converse or Dr Martens or knock-offs of these brands).- going for the “gender alien” look: non-red boldly coloured lips without eye makeup, bold brows, weird cut-outs, clothes that are too out-of-worldly to be gendered.If you are afraid of or uncomfortable with shopping in places marketed towards women, the easiest is starting out in thriftshops, then working your way up to stores that have both gendered sections and, if possible, don’t have gender-segregated cabin areas!!

P.S.: if you like long hair keep it!!

[shitnbpplhear]

"What's in your pants! What's in your pants! What's in your pants!"

- magic

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Calling All LGBT+ Folks Again BC I Still Exist!!!

Did you have a bad day? Are you feeling dysphoric? Do you feel uncomfortable or sad because you aren’t accepted and loved like you deserve to be?

Well come on down, folks, and get yourselves some free validation!

Here’s how it works:

Send an ask with your pronouns and your chosen name. (It’s totally fine if you wanna leave out your name. Anons are welcome.)

If you want, include other information like your gender or something you might be upset about at the moment.

Wait for that sweet, sweet validation to come your way!

As I mentioned, this is open to anyone. People any age, race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, or any other sort of background can send an ask. I encourage anyone who wants to share advice or experiences to please do so, whether via submitting a post or commenting on someone else’s ask.

I hope to be meeting and helping some of you guys soon!

Love,

Lake, the trans guy who runs this blog

[shitnbpplhear]

Aaaah

I’m working on the content for a website educating social workers on various trans issues, and giving them practical tips.

So basically I’m summarizing years of lived experiences, as well as academic knowledge, in 10-20 pages. It’s so important and so overwhelming and hard omfgess!!

(I’m getting paid for this don’t worry)

[shitnbpplhear]

I recently came out as nb to my boyfriend and instead of the negative feedback I thought I was gonna get, he’s now questioning whether he’s bi or pan!! I’m so glad he supports me <3

Omgess yay!!

[shitnbpplhear]

In my theatre class last year, there were two kids named Alex. Me, and my good friend who is a boy. Because of the prevalence of Alexs in our school, we call him almost exclusively by his last name. My theatre teacher never caught on that. Instead, he was Alex, and I was whatever incorrect use of they/them pronouns he decided to use that day. My favorite was when he was pairing us up for an activity, and said, “[partner’s name] and… (looks at me awkwardly) they.” He rarely used my name, but I never complained because he was using my pronouns, however incorrectly they were.

[shitnbpplhear]

"*You're* a [assigned-at-birth gender]! [Insert here further assumptions about what 'must follow' that false premise]!" Or, longtime fave, "Well I mean, you just don't really *look* nonbinary/agender." The latter came from my NB PARTNER like Come On. On bad days it keeps coming back into my head like... idk, that really hurt and they haven't acknowledged it. We mesh well in practically all other ways, but that one thing puts a lot of doubt in me which feels awful.

😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

[shitnbpplhear]

I’m an nb boy (still trying to figure out specific labels cause I need them) and I recently figured out my mom was abusive bc of everyone around me ?my moms partner is genderqueer and abusive too and feels the need to “protect” my mom from me when I’m just mentally ill and easily upset ? I feel really bad and like I’m not wanted here in this house, along with the name my Mom renamed me she doesn’t even use and bc of how its linked to her it’s started to make me feel dysphoric and ugh life sucks

I'm so sorry!!! I also come from an abusive household and know how horrible it is. Sending lots of love and solidarity your way 💖

[shitnbpplhear]

Hello from Spain. I'm an AFAB genderfluid and I tried to come out to my parents, but they don't trust me, they say that I'm a woman, and that I have to be femenine, and other transphobic stuff. And it just makes that my depression gets worse. Also, sorry if my English isn't very good.

I'm so sorry about this. 😥😥😥😥 Please know that your gender is valid, how you present doesn't need to be related to how you identify, and that there are loads of other people like you, you are not alone!!

[shitnbpplhear]

So I've complained abt my various issues and disphoria to you a couple times now but rn it's real bad and do you know anyone on this site I could talk to in real time occasionally when I get this bad?

Anyone available for this? Or check their inboxes frequently?

[shitnbpplhear]

uuh i'm having the worst disphoria I've ever had and i don't know what to do. I'm an amab agender person and ho jeez i hate my face and shoulders rn. I've grown my hair out and I try and be more feminine but nothing has worked forever. All solutions like makeup take time and money I don't have in order to learn them and i'm sorry for bothering you but help?

Hi! Omfg I totally understand. The quickest and cheapest solution I can think of would be asking other fem friends for their old makeup stuff, and get them to do the actual application the first time(s)!! (It’s way easier and faster to learn watching people do it then trying it out.) If not, if you feel comfortable joining trans women groups, I’m sure you can find lots of girls willing to help you out and give you some of their products and skills.

If not, local trans or LGBT support groups would probably have donated clothes and maybe even wigs and makeup!!

As for shoulders, you could avoid doing sports/physical activity which might make them muscular? (Easier said than done I know.) Gaining weight could also help you be curvier if that is something you want!!

[shitnbpplhear]

The fuck is this?

[shitnbpplhear]

Hi!I sometimes see myself as a mix of man and woman and I like to representate myself as an adrogynous person [I was designed female at birth]. I don’t mind if people think “I’m a guy” or use he/him pronouns for me (sometimes it happens) and I even like it! But I’m very insecure if I could be an NB person and all... what do u think I could be? also, I feel attraction to girls only and I identify as a lesbian. If I found out that I’m NB, am I still a “lesbian” or there’s another term? Any advice?

Hi!Linking my answer to a similar ask!http://shitnbpplhear.tumblr.com/post/165100048993/im-agender-and-very-stable-in-that-identity-but