Shit Sharma Says

Dedicated to the shit that Sharma says

[shitsharmasays]

On Nagios alerts

"The nagios alert this morning for making the bed and sorting socks came in handy. plz thank the midget for me!"

[shitsharmasays]

On more comms with the missus

"Let's put it this way, I asked her 'Did you just spend $20 in Coles', and didn't get 'FUCK OFF' as the reply"

[shitsharmasays]

On winning and losing again

"When you start picking on spelling mistakes I know I’ve won"

[shitsharmasays]

On nightclub entry

"Just mention the Sharmdog to the door keeper"

[shitsharmasays]

On leaving his screen unlocked

“Ahhh, mate, that’s an old trick!”

[shitsharmasays]

On WINTEL

“Ferdi, Just go back to your job clicking Next, Next, Next”

[shitsharmasays]

On communication

Stevo: “That email was a bit harsh”

Sharma “I was more jovial, I put a smiley face :)”

[shitsharmasays]

On his work

Brad: “Why didn’t you look at it?”

Sharma: “How do you know I didn’t look?”

Brad: “Because you said in your email you didn’t”

Sharma: “How do you know I didn’t though? Maybe I did but there was nothing to tell you.”

Brad: “So you did look?”

Sharma: “No.”

[shitsharmasays]

On Ferdi

"If I was low 30’s, single, unlimited cash, nice cars and a big house…   I’d be lining em up"

[shitsharmasays]

On the EIS town hall

“Dieter has stamped his paperssssssss”

[shitsharmasays]

On supercoach again

Standy “It’s hard to pick your team because who knows if Mitch Wallace or Little Libba will play.

Sharma “From everything I’ve read Wallace will play”

Standy “Really, I read Libba will play and Wallace is out”

Sharma “Nope, Wallace will definitely play, I’ve read it, it’s from what I’ve read”

30 minutes later...

Sharma “Libba in, Wallace on the extended bench”

[shitsharmasays]

On fitness

Sharma: “I would be able to play 2 hours of basketball after going on the 40km MS ride”

Ferdi: “You said you ride at 40km/h"

Sharma: “Yeah I did.  Not all the time….. when I’m going downhill”

[shitsharmasays]

On the fairer sex

“Hottest girl in school is based on her weight”

[shitsharmasays]

On parenting

Sharma: “If I was in my sons shoes I would have a crack”

Ferdi: "She's 12!!!"

[shitsharmasays]

On supercoach again

“They reviewed the stats 3 years ago, and Brett Ratten would have been the highest ranking Supercoach player of all time”

[shitsharmasays]

On gossiping again

“DBA’s are in a jovial mood today… I am leaking!”

[shitsharmasays]

On truancy

Stevo “By the time June 30 rolls around you will have had 6 months off this year”

Sharma “Mate, it’s all legit leave”