Oh poopsicles

I'm Eliza and I love making new friends ^_^ {previously parrotcakes & cherrycokeflow}

[mx-bones-deactivated20160831]

rah rah rasputin something something sour cream

[constant-diablerie]

any noun can become a verb if you don’t care enough

[yupokaysuremhm]

This point is invalid unless you use an example in your sentence

[constant-diablerie]

I CAN SENTENCE HOW I WANT THANK

[yupokaysuremhm]

BEAUTIFUL

[fellowfeline]

you see thats why i love english

[ailithnight]

I like to velociraptor around my house at 2 in the morning.

[constant-diablerie]

GOOD

[standing-in-peace]

My headache makes me want to clothesline into a wall

[edelvicess]

why do these make some semblance of sense 😨

[roseverdict]

Because brains don’t brain logically

[couldbeglorious]

Brains do brain logically! But when english doesn’t logic englishly, brain brains by itself to logic that english !

[swampxwitchxhattie]

I hate that this makes sense

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[swordsdance-deactivated20191029]

coming out as a lesbian & being asked if you’ve ever dated a man is such a catch 22 cause you know if you say yes they’re gonna think you’re open to fucking men but you just “chose” women after having a bad experience with a man or something but if you say no they’re gonna tell you there’s no way you can know for sure if you haven’t tried being with a man. ladies tell me if this is a reach but i almost feel like the core tenet of lesbophobia is that no one sees lesbianism as a real identity & everyone thinks it’s impossible for women to not be attracted to men

[yekkes]

It’s the inherent alienation of not being attracted to men under patriarchy which demands we be in economic and social relation to men. It’s not so much I think people actually think it’s unbelievable, as much as they can’t conceptualize a woman living outside of this system

[nepofledgling]

When you have no sense of self and someone says something about you

[just-shower-thoughts]

Vapour Rub is just spicy Vaseline

[greelin]

why do so many 40+ yr old men have the audacity to like.. flirt w/ me in all seriousness. i’m half (or less!) your age, bud. do you not have places to be? go call your kids. eat a grapefruit. stock up on viagra. decay. the options that don’t involve me are endless

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I like how the only reason Harry is able to fight the imperious curse so easily is because it hits him and he’s like “Ah I feel calm and relaxed and happy…this is wrong.”

[hummingirls]

harry: serotonin? in this economy?

[takeitaway-penny]

[unclefather]

[sheholdsyoucaptivated]

Men be like

[orriculum]

My boss’s first language isn’t English. However, she loves giving inspirational speeches to everyone. I think today she was trying to tell us “don’t just stand around looking pretty”, but what she actually said was “WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SEXY”.

[princessdanhowell]

people are always like “are you a morning person or a night person” and I’m just like buddy I’m barely even a person

[the-greatest-genderqueer]

When you load up on caffeine to make yourself less sad, but instead you just get Accelerated Depression™

[the-greatest-genderqueer]

I love how fucking abstract the concept of Accelerated Depression is. Like, it’s vague as fuck, but we all know what tf it feels like

[shitsprinkle]

sometimes when you think theres something wrong with someone else theres really something wrong with you but you dont know it cuz theres something wrong with you

[shitsprinkle]

isnt it wild that people can put together a sequence of sounds and then charge people money for their ears hearing it like who owns all the sounds???

[bidoof]

You can lead a horse to water

But you can’t drink a horse

[xybern]

horses have udders so you certainly can

[adeptofvale-deactivated20180606]

there’s a fine line between drinking a horse and drinking from a horse

[xybern]

if you drink from a lake youre still drinking the lake peace out

[adeptofvale-deactivated20180606]

this is absolutely terrifying in the contexts of mammals

[shitsprinkle]

its 2018 why cant we delete people