I don't even know anymore

Quotes from my friends attributed to famous historical figures

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

Congrats on the birth of your baby parent. Your bouncing baby dad!

William Lion Mackenzie King, 1608

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

What I say is objectively the truth.

Rosa Luxembourg, 1927

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

I say funny things all the time and they're always underapreciated

George W. Bush, 1439

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

Bears are op as fuck!

Hugh Glass, 1838

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

How many monkeys do I have to jerk off to throw this dart!

Aaron Burr Jr. 1230

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

My brother could be a bee but is he???

Matthew Brodrodrick, 2007

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

I can't walk on dogs. That would be really ruff

Jesus, 1112

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

Remember when we use to fart?

Rembrandt, 1333

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

Why doesn't he love me I stole so many telephones!!!

Mabel Hubbard Bell, 2287

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

A tiff a tuff a tiff a tuff a fight a fisticuffs.

Mike Tyson, 2934

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

I'm a wormdiddlyurmider

Thomas Edison, 479

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

I'm finally doing shit. I've been constipated for so long.

Nelson Mandela, 1738

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

Check your privilege with your bourgeoisie dog. Some of us need the commie dogs to be divided evenly amongst the proletariat.

Karl Marx, 1221

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

We're squeers together. We spear our hearts with.. spears.... together...

Genghis Khan, 906 

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

Pitbull is like santa for pop music

Cleopatra, 16000000 A.C

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

Maybe someone jacked off into the corn, it's not my business

Benjam Franklin, 1815

[shittiesthistoricalquotes]

There’s going to be a fight at this mixer, I feel it in my ass

Thomas Edison, 1312