it hurts so bad knowing i am nice and fun and everything but i also have low self esteem, avoidant attachment, a people pleaser and everything that makes me inauthentic and vain
Trigger warnings (this list may grow as I continue to write the story): abduction, stalking, possessive/yandere behavior, mentions of breeding/forced pregnancy, mentions of clinical, reproductive-related procedures (e.g., fertility treatments, failed procedures, ultrasounds, miscarriages), pregnancy loss, grief and mourning, medical trauma, some bloody events (e.g., death, loss), bondage, psychological manipulation/abuse, cult mentality, slow mind break, canon-typical violence (e.g., Suguru killing useless monkeys, curses hurting/killing/eating people), non-con/dub-con, hints of stockholm syndrome, past and present trauma.
Tags: Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader, Darkfic, Yandere Geto, Possessive Geto, Psychological Horror, Non-sorcerer Fem!Reader x Geto, Breeding/Forced Pregnancy, Murderous Intent, Coercion, Slow Mind Break, Non-con/dub-con, Smut, 18+, MDNI 🤺
Gazing at your stomach in the vanity mirror, you noted how you'd started showing ever so slightly that morning.
A part of you thought you were imagining things until Geto commented on it as well, gently pressing his hand against the bump as he caressed your shoulder with the other.
“You'll be seeing Dr. Takemi tomorrow, correct?”
“Yes,” you confirmed. “After this week, we'll be past the first trimester.”
“He told the girls they’d be the size of an apple or peach at this point last time.”
“I bet they loved that.” He said, kissing your temple.
You smiled gleefully. “They did.”
“Care to accompany me to my meeting later?” he asked, wrapping his arms around you. “It shouldn’t be long, and we can go somewhere off the estate if you’d like after with the girls.”
You nodded excitedly at the prospect before he pressed his forehead to yours, leaning down and pulling you close.
“Then it's decided. I’ll let them know to prepare for our departure once we’re through.”
He listened as Suda reported on the current state of affairs—it was the usual count of curses acquired thus far, the whereabouts of his other family members, and updated intelligence regarding Jujutsu High.
He glanced over at you, watching as you drank the tea Tomoe had brought over to you.
You beamed up at him when you noticed his gaze.
He kept looking at you until Suda’s voice called his name.
“Geto, would you like to explain the next step in our new plans?”
He’d just begun to speak when he felt a tug on his sleeve. Only to turn and find you looking sickeningly pale and on the verge of collapse.
“Sug-guru…”
Everything after that was a blur as he rushed you to the clinic, where the worst was confirmed.
The child that had changed everything was gone.
And he’d almost lost you, too.
You’d lingered between this world and the next for three whole minutes before several doctors and nurses were able to bring you back.
But you weren't out of danger yet, losing so much blood had left you weak and unconscious.
He hadn’t left your side at the clinic for the past three days.
You’d been in and out the entire time. Hardly conscious. Delirious.
The first words out of your mouth to him in those rare moments when you were awake were ‘I’m sorry’ before you succumbed to the overpowering medications the doctors had you on.
It was killing him to see you like this.
The twins came to visit you throughout the days, hoping you would be alright and wake up soon. Sometimes, they cried by your bedside together, mourning the loss of their sibling. He tried to comfort them as best he could despite the state he was in.
They noticed how he hadn't really eaten anything and pushed for it.
“Geto-sama, please, you need to eat something,” Mimiko pleaded.
“I’m sorry girls, I just don’t have an appetite,” he refused.
They had continued to ask throughout the hours of the third day until, finally, they managed to convince him with Dr. Takemi's help.
“She’s going to need you to have your strength later,” he’d reasoned. “It’s going to be harder when she’s awake.”
Geto ate some of the food they'd brought him then.
And they left him alone after that, for a while at least, as he continued to watch you.
He counted the number of breaths you took as he listened to the attached heart monitor obsessively, compulsively.
“Unfortunately, there may have been something wrong that just wasn’t visible on scans or tests.”
“A woman’s body does this naturally sometimes. We’ll keep looking into what may have caused it otherwise, but for now, all I can recommend is as much rest as possible for her.”
“Fertility shots may become an option again later, but we need to let her body reset, heal, before we consider that again.”
“Grief is going to be a part of that process. She’s going to cycle through every emotion possible many times over.”
“She needs you to be understanding, as hard as that may be right now. This wasn’t her fault. I want you both to know that.”
Those were most of the lines Dr. Takemi had left him with that morning.
He’d almost felt insulted by the implication behind that last comment, as though the man expected him to blame you for something beyond your control.
Yet he also couldn't deny that there was merit to the good doctor's concern.
He knew the cruelty he was capable of.
And under different circumstances, he would have blamed you for this loss. Punished you harshly for it, even, as though the grief alone would not already be enough to break you.
Now, as he leaned over you on the clinic bed and brushed his fingers along your face, he couldn’t fathom turning that cruelty on you.
The two of you had been so happy a few days ago. It was gut-wrenching.
How had this happened, beloved?
If he could take all of the pain away from you, he would.
He ached to hold you, to hear you speak, to bear this with you.
Together.
Always.
He grabbed your hand as he sat back down in the chair that had become his bed for the past few nights, bringing your fingers to his lips and pressing feather-light pecks along them.
It was then that he felt you twitch and stir in the clinic bed. Immediately, he stood, keeping hold of your hand as he called out to you.
“Y/n, I’m here.”
Heavy-lidded, your eyes groggily opened to see him.
“Ma-” you swallowed, throat raw. Dry. “M-master…”
The sound of your hoarse voice broke his heart into a thousand pieces.
Frantic, he pushed down the handrail on his side and carefully climbed into the bed with you, pulling you into his arms while minding the IV and the monitor clipped to your finger.
At the same time, he reached over and pressed the call button for a nurse.
Nurse Araki hurried in.
“Bring us some water and anything else she might need now that she’s awake,” he demanded.
“Of course, right away,” she replied, rushing out. He could hear her barking orders to other staff down the hall.
He looked down at you as tears began streaming down your face.
Had you realized why you were here again, in the very room where the two of you had first received the news?
“Shh, no. None of that, pet,” he cooed, wiping away your tears as he heard footsteps rushing into the room.
“Here, we’ve brought her a pitcher of water,” Nurse Araki announced, placing it on a rolling side table that now hovered over the bed. “Is it alright if we sit the two of you up?”
“Is that alright, pet?” he asked, and you nodded slightly.
“Yes,” he replied a moment later.
He felt the bed hum as it raised the two of you up into a sitting position. Another nurse handed him the cup of water, which he gently brought up to your lips.
You took several small gulps at first, then grabbed it yourself and finished the rest, seemingly quenching an overwhelming thirst.
“We’ve also brought her a change of clothes, along with a basin of warm water and soap in case she’d like to freshen up,” one of the newer attendants offered.
“I can help her with that,” he interjected, taking the empty cup from you and handing it over to Nurse Araki, who had just finished checking your IV.
“Are you sure?” she asked, reaching for the cup and placing it on the table again. “With the IV and her delicate condition, it might be a bit difficult on your own.”
“I’ll be careful,” he replied, tilting his head toward the counter on the other side of the room. “Leave the supplies over there.”
He could see the hesitation in her demeanor, in her eyes, before agreeing. “Alright, but if you need anything, Lord Geto, call us immediately.”
Despite their initial reluctance, they followed his instructions.
After he heard the door click behind Nurse Araki and her colleagues, his thumb brushed lightly over your hand.
“Would you like me to help you freshen up, pet?” he asked patiently.
You only nodded again in response.
With your quiet permission, he unclipped the monitor from your index finger and attentively helped you out of your current gown. Then he slipped out of the bed long enough to gather the basin, soap, and several washcloths, setting them on the rolling table. Once everything was within easy reach and he had washed his hands, he returned his attention to you.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he added a few drops of soap to the basin, stirring the water lightly with his fingers to test the warmth. Satisfied, he dipped one of the cloths into the water and wrung it out slightly.
“It won’t be cold,” he assured you quietly as he began smoothing it across your neck and shoulders. His every touch was gentle. Kind. Comforting. Yet he still felt your body twitch away from him several times.
He hated that, but swallowed down his displeasure for your sake.
Afterward, he helped you stand at the edge of the bed, keeping one arm around you as he eased you into the clean gown and closed each tie with the same delicate care. When he was done, he drew you in closer so you could lean on him for additional support.
“Come sit with me while I call for them again,” he murmured against your hair. “I want you to have fresh sheets as well.”
“Okay,” you whispered, slowly following him to the chair as he kept you steady and guided the IV pole along with you.
A minute after you settled against him, he clicked the call switch, and Nurse Araki arrived once more.
“Yes, Lord Geto?”
“She needs new sheets.”
“Of course, let me call for some assistance.”
With help from the additional staff, the sheets on your bed and pillows were quickly replaced with fresh ones. He kept his eyes on you the entire time as you leaned further into his hold on the chair.
The moment the fresh linens were in place, Nurse Araki insisted on helping you back into bed, despite Geto wanting to do everything for you himself. She also clipped the pulse oximeter back onto your index finger before stepping away.
“Here are some extra pillows and blankets. I know Mrs. Geto gets cold easily,” she said, handing him the items another nurse had brought in. “We’ll bring her some solid food in an hour. Make sure she rests until then.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Once the two of you were alone again, he tucked you further into the sheets and draped one of the extra blankets over you. He dimmed the lights, then slipped in beside you, wrapping his arms around you with careful restraint.
Just as before, he was mindful not to disturb the IV, aware it was necessary for your recovery. Still, necessary or not, he hoped they would remove it sooner rather than later—the damn thing kept getting in his way.
It was then that he heard your voice break the silence in the room.
“I’m so s-sorry, S’guru,” you sobbed. “Please, please d-don’t hate m-me.”
He pressed you tighter to his chest. “Shhh. I don't hate you, Y/n.”
“Maybe you should…”
“You're wrong,” he contested, voice low.
“But I failed you again… and lost someone so pre-precious,” you hiccupped, your voice thinning to almost nothing. “Our baby, Suguru…”
“And I almost lost you…” he replied, jaw tensing at the memory from only days ago. “You're someone I've come to consider precious.”
For reasons he could not fully understand, you sobbed harder at his words, gasping for air after each tremor rolled through your body in utter agony.
He only held you, letting you feel everything that needed to be felt, just as Dr. Takemi had advised.
“The- the girls… how- are they o-okay?” you asked, stuttering against his chest.
They were heartbroken, but he knew it was the wrong time to tell you that.
“They only want you to get better. As do I,” he answered carefully, avoiding the full truth while listening to your broken huffs and whines.
“Please don't,” you begged, clinging to his robe. “I- I don't deserve it.”
“You do,” he murmured against your hair. “Because I say you do.”
After Dr. Takemi's final physical evaluation, the loss was officially determined to have occurred from natural causes.
But of course it had.
That was exactly why Tomoe had chosen and used this method in the first place.
What she had not anticipated was how severely it would affect your body after she doubled the dose two days in a row.
She had never intended for it to go that far. Never intended to bring you so close to death’s door in the same way Geto so often had when you first arrived.
It was both a blessing and a curse that you'd survived the ordeal.
Maybe it would've been better if you had left this world with the child. Her revenge would've been complete then, and you'd no longer have to endure anything else.
Yet, as selfish as it was, she was glad you had pulled through. However, your survival was not without other consequences.
You blamed yourself. That much was obvious to anyone who saw you after your stay at the clinic.
Tomoe hated seeing you like this—broken, grief-stricken—but it couldn't be avoided.
Geto and his family would have never let you go if you had run from him in such a condition, with his child in your womb.
But now…
Maybe they would see you as damaged. Less worthwhile to keep or hunt down once the right time to flee arrived.
And anything that increased your chances of success was worthwhile.
Yes, no matter the pain it was causing you now, this horror was necessary in the end.
‘I hope you can forgive me one day, Y/n. But if you never can, I'll understand,’ she thought to herself, tucking something forbidden underneath her garments.
And what was this prohibited item?
Your phone.
Your personal cellphone.
The one Geto had missed because you'd sent it off for repairs before ever attracting his attention.
Not the work phone he'd disposed of after taking you from the café.
How had she gotten her hands on it?
Pure luck… or maybe it was fate. She wasn't sure, but either way it had worked in both your favors.
Now all that was left was to find the best time to enact the next phase of the plan she and the other ‘followers’ on your side had devised.
As though even the walls understood something precious had been lost before it ever had the chance to fully exist.
There had been no body to return home. No formal funeral to arrange. No ashes to carry to a family grave.
So instead, a home altar had been prepared in one of the estate’s more private and serene rooms.
A large, lacquered cabinet-style shrine had been placed against the middle of the back wall. Its doors opened to reveal several polished tiers within.
On the lowest level, a pair of white candles burned beside a ceramic incense holder, where two lit joss sticks released the faint scent of sandalwood into the air.
The middle tier housed the offerings, which included a small white arrangement of flowers, a bowl of untouched fruit, and a tiny wooden rattle.
On the highest central shelf rested the last sonogram photo you'd received, carefully framed by your very own hands. You had still been in disbelief when you completed the task, numb from the impossible weight of it all.
Like this couldn't be happening, couldn't be real, couldn't be your life.
On one side of the photograph sat a small Jizō Bosatsu statue, decorated with the baby bear beanie you'd made for them. The figure had been Geto’s suggestion, chosen for its role as a guardian of children who left the world too soon.
A Buddhist memorial tablet was placed on the other side of the frame. It had been freshly inscribed by Geto himself earlier that morning with the words the two of you had chosen together:
“Beloved Child of the Geto Family.”
You knelt silently on the cushion before the altar while Suguru remained beside you, one hand resting against your back.
Tomoe had left a small bell near the shrine as well. A soft chime echoed through the room when Mimiko timidly rang it after placing down a small offering of candies she and Nanako had bought together the day before.
“I picked the strawberry ones,” Nanako whispered, which was so unlike her. As if she were afraid that speaking too loudly might disturb the child’s spirit.
Your chest tightened painfully as you pictured a different future, one where candies like these would've been shared with sticky fingers and delighted laughter rather than offered at an altar.
In another life, perhaps you could’ve spoiled them together.
Suguru's hand pressed more firmly against your back the moment your shoulders trembled. Not controlling this time. Not possessive.
With only two weeks having passed, it'd been another difficult day for you and the girls.
He'd done his best to give all three of you as much attention and comfort as he could.
Especially you.
You'd become so reliant, so needy of him that, as sick as it was to say, he was almost enjoying the aftermath of this loss.
Perhaps he truly was something of a monster for feeling this way. For finding any comfort in your devastation simply because it brought you closer to him.
But he could not bring himself to mourn the way you and the girls did.
Did that make him heartless?
When he looked at it logically, he found himself believing this had happened for a reason.
It was entirely possible the child would have been born a non-sorcerer. An unworthy monkey. And if that had been the case, then perhaps this loss was a blessing in disguise.
A cruel one, yes, but a blessing all the same.
At least this tragedy might've spared you from watching them endure the same repeated, near-death exposure to his cursed spirits—the very regimen he'd put you through at the start.
The ordeal had also made him contemplate a choice many others would have found impossible.
But it wasn't for him.
If this had happened further along in the pregnancy, and he had been forced to choose between you and the baby, he would have chosen you without an ounce of hesitation.
Even if it had been possible to confirm that the child would be a sorcerer, it wouldn't have changed his decision.
You might hate him for that choice in the end, but…
He just wanted you.
That was the whole point of this experiment, after all.
Even he could admit that these thoughts and feelings were ugly. Callous.
But if his cold rationale and need to have you made him a monster, then…
So be it.
He sighed, attempting to read the report Suda had drafted for him after being too preoccupied to look at it properly during the day.
Propped slightly upright against the pillows at the head of the bed, he let you sleep against his chest at an angle, one arm loosely anchored around you while the other held the report. His thumb traced slow, absentminded paths along your arm in quiet comfort as he read the same sentence over and over again.
Despite his efforts to concentrate on the metrics, he noticed it immediately—the subtle tremor beneath his arm, the uneven shift in your breathing.
Eyes lifting from the pages to you, he stilled his thumb in case it was his touch causing you distress.
Then a quiet whimper escaped from your lips, followed by the first tear slipping down your cheek and onto him.
Were you even crying in your sleep, beloved?
Should he wake you from it?
Suddenly, he felt you twitch harder against him, the movement frantic enough to make his decision for him. Without a second thought, he let the report slip from his hand, all but forgotten as it fell to the floor.
Tightening his arm around you, he lowered his other hand to your face, fingers brushing away the tears along your cheek before settling at your shoulder.
“Y/n…” he murmured, gently nudging you to stir awake.
Your body tensed beneath his touch before you jolted slightly against him, a sharp breath catching in your throat as your eyes snapped open.
For a moment, your wandering gaze seemed unfocused, lost—still caught somewhere else.
“Suguru…”
Your voice broke as your fingers pressed instinctively into his chest, grounding yourself against the warmth of him as your breathing turned uneven from a mixture of sadness and fear.
The tears began immediately as you looked up at him, sobbing out the horrific details of your nightmare—how cursed spirits were tearing you apart slowly, eating you alive before the people he'd killed in your name surrounded you next…
“They said it was my fault they were dead,” you choked out. “Over and over again until… until they screamed that was why my baby was gone now, too.”
It seemed he'd gotten exactly what he wanted from the gruesome lessons he'd put you through all those months ago—when he’d made you watch the heinous violence. The guts and gore.
Their deaths weighed so heavily on your soul, on your conscience, that they were haunting you now more than ever. Just as Haibara's passing haunted him.
But there was no satisfaction to be felt in this moment. Only immense regret, despite still believing it was necessary.
After all, how else was he supposed to make you understand your place when those monkeys had defied him and you had tried to leave him?
“It was only a dream, pet,” he comforted, pulling you closer to him. “I'd never let such a thing come to pass. You are safe here with me.”
“Those ghosts in your head aren't real, and there is no one to blame for what happened to our child.”
“B-but I n-never wanted children,” you stuttered out, finding no comfort in his words. “And maybe—m-maybe that's why t-they were taken from us-”
He leaned down and kissed you then, interrupting your grief-stricken ramblings.
Moving back from you briefly, he repeated himself with more authority.
“This is not your fault, Y/n.”
“And if my words are not enough to convince you, all the medical reports said so as well.”
He stared into your eyes, searching for confirmation that his reasoning may have calmed your soul, even if only momentarily.
“I'm sorry, master…” you whispered as you tucked yourself into the crook of his neck. “So sorry…”
Nothing. His words had done nothing.
“There's no need for that, pet. Truly. I have nothing to forgive you for,” he murmured against your hair, rubbing circles onto your nape in solace.
“Just punish me for being weak, master…” you softly begged. “That would make it easier to bear.”
His pupils grew wide with something closer to disbelief than anger as he continued to hold you.
Your emotions and reaction shouldn’t have been surprising. He'd been the one who'd forced you to memorize his three principles, the one who'd conditioned you to expect consequences after failing him.
How much regret was he meant to feel in one night?
“Would it really?” he asked, hoping for a no when he felt you nod instead.
He sighed. “But I have none to give. And you've not earned any either.”
You lifted your head from where you were to face him.
“Should I give you a reason, then, Master?”
“No, pet,” he replied, cupping your cheek with the palm of his hand, his thumb brushing along your lips. “All I want you to do is recover. Then we can try for another when you're well.”
“I'm scared to,” you mumbled as he moved his finger from your mouth. “What if.. what if it happens again?”
“Don't be. I already asked, and Dr. Takemi said it's unlikely,” he lied for your sake.
Tears began rolling down your face once more as you desperately looked up into his eyes. “I can't just forget about them, Master. The baby…”
“You won't have to, Y/n,” he reassured, brushing a tear from your cheek. “We'll honor their memory always.”
“Yes,” you sobbed. “Yes we will. T-thank you, Suguru.”
Beautiful. Hauntingly beautiful and broken.
That's how you looked to him right now.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead before gently guiding you back against his chest.
“Rest now,” he ordered softly as he began to hum you to sleep, just like his mother used to when he'd have a bad dream. “I'm here. I have you.”
“Please forgive us for the delay in reporting this to you, Lord Geto. Given the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the Lady, this was the earliest opportunity we had,” Tomoe explained.
“Enough. Just go on,” Geto announced, obvious frustration in his tone. He'd been more irritable as of late.
Suda motioned for one of the other followers to proceed with their account.
The report detailed the funeral proceedings your mother had arranged after Geto ensured the world believed you were dead.
From what Tomoe and the others understood, their leader's true interest had little to do with mourning and everything to do with the attendees themselves. It was obvious he was searching for someone.
And while the others had little idea, she knew exactly who he wanted to uncover. Your past lover. The one who had cost you dearly that day in Harajuku.
The turnout at the wake had been modest but steady. Several coworkers attended, with additional appearances from individuals believed to be from adjacent departments. A formal floral arrangement had been sent on behalf of your company, its name displayed among the white chrysanthemums lining the venue. It sat alongside smaller arrangements attributed to personal acquaintances and friends.
A number of local attendees were also present—neighbors and longtime customers of your mother, many of whom had come to pay their respects after years of knowing you both through her work as a seamstress.
In comparison, your extended family's presence was limited. Two individuals from your mother’s side were identified as cousins, while a single man—believed to be your paternal uncle—appeared to represent your father’s side. Such a lack of familial members made it quite apparent how, for most of your life, it had truly just been you and your mother.
One notable attendee was a former romantic partner from your university years, accompanied by his wife. Their presence was brief, but respectful. After looking into him further, Suda noted that nothing was discovered to suggest any continued involvement between the two of you since your breakup many years ago.
All in all, there was no one who truly stood out as the man he was seeking.
At least… that's what Tomoe was reporting.
In reality, there had been two very late, final guests.
A belligerent drunk she quickly realized was your father.
And…
A man who had brought a bouquet made up of lilies and blue roses with him to offer your mother.
It was rather unorthodox, but it made sense once Tomoe recognized his voice and saw his face.
Satoru Gojo had come to mourn you.
Besides your mother, colleagues, and friends, he had sent countless messages after your disappearance. Long, rambling, and informative voicemails, too.
She had been tempted to approach him with your whereabouts that day because of it, but…
Regardless of what he had said, doing so was risky given his past connection to Geto—the bastard who had murdered her family.
According to the sporadic and rare rumors she'd heard, the two had been friends at some point, but something had torn them apart.
And that was as much as she had managed to learn while serving under Geto.
See, “Gojo” wasn't a name his followers dared speak freely around the estate—especially not in front of their leader. Past deadly consequences for careless gossip had ensured that much, leaving Tomoe with only fragments of who Satoru Gojo was and what had once existed between them.
Without knowing the full extent of their estrangement, there was always a chance this stranger could still be in contact with Geto. Then everything she had been working toward would be for naught.
There was no guarantee Gojo would have believed her without proof, anyway. So, in the end, she had decided against approaching him.
Besides, he had been preoccupied with your parents, standing between them as your father hurled harsh accusations and pointed insults at your mother, outright blaming her for your death.
‘What a bastard,’ she had thought, thankful that, by then, they were the only four people left in the funeral hall. ‘Is this what you had dealt with growing up, my lady?’
Tomoe didn't linger after witnessing Gojo come to your mother's defense, quietly excusing herself from the wake.
If she had stayed any longer, she might've risked one of Geto’s other spies coming to look for her and uncovering this scene.
“Overall, there was no one who attended that was out of the ordinary for such an affair, Geto,” Tomoe listened to Suda summarize, refocusing on the present. “I have a detailed report for you with pictures of all the guests and additional information if you'd like to review that as well.”
“Thank you, Suda. I'll look it over after this.”
“Tomoe,” he began in his usual harsh tone.
Had she been found out? Did they know she'd purposely omitted information?
She sat up straighter. “Yes, my lord?”
“The girls requested omelets and toast for breakfast today. See that they’re included.”
“Of course. Did the lady have any preferences?”
“You may go ask her. She's in the altar room,” he answered, dismissing her from the meeting.
Did that mean you were alone?
Gathering herself, she hurriedly went to find you.
You were sitting in front of the altar, eyes closed as the incense smoke slowly rose up.
She considered telling you about the potential plan to flee right then, given how rarely the two of you were left alone now.
But looking at you here, like this… it was just not the time.
Instead, she dared to kneel by you and offer her own quiet apologies and prayers to the child she'd taken from you.
Tomoe accepted the guilt and responsibility for it but…
This monstrous act she had committed was also a consequence, a cost, of Suguru Geto’s past violence against humanity—against her family and every other victim caught in his path alike.
And, hopefully, it would also be the price of your freedom.
It had been a little over four weeks since the miscarriage had occurred.
Things had not gotten any easier or brighter despite the passage of time, but the twins were doing slightly better—you were glad for that.
Dr. Takemi had cleared you for most things, but was still being cautious when it came to fertility treatments or family planning.
First and foremost, he wanted to make sure that you were alright mentally and emotionally before pursuing another pregnancy.
“Physically, everything looks like it’s healing well, but I’d still like to give it a bit more time before you two start officially trying again.”
“If you’ve had no bleeding or pain, you can resume normal sexual activity—but take it slowly.”
“Take everything slowly. Process what you need to first and listen to your body. Don't force it.”
Your Master had been giving you that look again ever since the appointment. One filled with need, with unbridled desire.
But you did not reciprocate the feelings.
You still felt numb some days, and always so cold despite the summer heat of August.
‘There might be no way to avoid his advances later,’ you realized as you sat next to him during lunch with the girls.
His hand kept slipping and finding its way onto your lap while he idly listened to Nanako tell him about this place she wanted to try on Takeshita Street in Tokyo. Apparently, they sold delicious crêpes with all sorts of flavors. That detail brought up many memories.
“I used to go to one that was really good there,” you added, trying to redirect his greedy attention, even if only momentarily.
“Oh yeah? Maybe it's the same one then,” Nanako excitedly replied, turning her phone in your direction to show you pictures.
“Yup, that's the one,” you confirmed, smiling sincerely for the first time in a while. “My favorite had strawberry, mango, and kiwi with gelato.”
Nanako and Mimiko's faces lit up with excitement over your description.
“Did you taste any with custard?” Mimiko asked.
You pondered a moment, thinking back to the last times you'd been to the location. One of those had been with Satoru… you remembered he'd ordered a crêpe with custard, and the two of you had shared a bit of each other's treats.
There was another smile on your face because of the memory, only you'd learned your lesson from last time, and you wouldn’t be making the same mistake twice.
“I think I did once with my mom, but it only had strawberries that time. I'm sure it's good with other toppings, too, though,” you assured.
“See, Geto-sama? Even Y/n wants to go. Can’t we try to go soon, please?” Nanako pleaded with wide, hopeful eyes.
“When did I say no?” He replied, chuckling. “Maybe we can try next week—and Y/n can join us if she's feeling up to it.”
He squeezed your thigh when he said that.
As the waking hours turned to night and the two of you found yourselves back in bed, you learned your earlier trepidations had been justified—he wanted more than just to sleep next to you tonight.
It'd started with his usual comforting kisses, but then he'd trailed his lips down your neck as his hands wandered underneath the top of your nightgown.
He groaned against your skin, saying over and over how much he'd missed you, how much he'd been craving you.
The feeling, as before, was not mutual. It made your skin crawl, the way he was touching you now.
You weren't ready for this.
Shutting your eyes tightly, you tried to endure his advances like you'd done in the beginning.
Feeling his mouth wandering lower, his tongue on your breasts… it was too much, too soon.
No. No. No!
You couldn't do this.
“Master…” you whimpered out, pushing him away slightly as he looked up at you from your chest.
“I- I j-just,” you stuttered, breathing harsher with each word you couldn't seem to find. “I c-can't yet. M’sorry.”
You expected anger. Resistance. His previous forcefulness from when you first arrived, from when he'd first taken you.
But there was none of that.
He simply stopped, adjusted your nightgown back into place, and settled himself behind you before pulling you into his embrace.
“T-thank you,” you whispered softly, shivering slightly in his hold as a chill clung to you.
“Come back to me soon, Y/n. My patience will only last for so long,” he warned as he reached for the blankets and draped them over the two of you. “Sleep well.”
Given that it was midday on a weekday, the streets weren't nearly as crowded with tourists and shoppers as they usually would've been.
Looking over at the three of them as they decided on their crêpe toppings and flavors, you couldn't help but smile faintly.
The scene was so similar to that fateful first day you made eye contact with Geto.
Before, you would've given anything to undo that first encounter.
But now… that would mean erasing the child you lost.
Despite the pain and grief, you couldn't bring yourself to wish that away. You weren't your father. You wouldn't abandon your child, even when all you had left of them were fleeting ‘what-if’ memories.
They were still debating flavors beside you, though your wandering thoughts only caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Suguru peeked back at you for a moment, giving you a silent nod as if to check in with how you were doing.
You returned the gesture, hoping it looked reassuring.
He turned his attention back to the girls then as your eyes lingered on him.
It was a nice reprieve to see your master out of his usual monk-like attire again.
You'd learned it was specifically called a Gojo-kesa. ‘Had he chosen that one intentionally?,’ you wondered. It almost felt like a quiet, hidden homage to his former best friend.
Too bad you could never ask him about it.
“What are you getting, Y/n?” Nanako suddenly asked you.
Strangely enough, instead of your usual favorite, all you wanted was the same crêpe Satoru had ordered the last time you'd come here together.
“A crêpe with custard, a little whipped cream, and strawberries,” you replied matter-of-factly.
“Unlike us, Y/n picked fast,” Mimiko pointed out with a slight smile.
“Well she's been here before, that's why,” Nanako chimed in.
“That's true,” you agreed before turning the question back to them. “Have you all decided on your orders yet? Or are you still thinking about it?”
“I think I'm getting a custard, too, but with chocolate and bananas,” Mimiko shared.
“I'm between a custard with mango or ice cream with yellow peaches,” Nanako declared. “Which do you think would be better, Y/n?”
“Hmm. Well, what fruit do you prefer? I think peaches are in season around August so they should be delicious.”
“Really? Then I'll get peaches with vanilla ice cream,” Nanako finally decided.
You'd grown to enjoy how much they considered your opinions in small decisions like this.
“So I'm the only one getting something savory,” Suguru added to the conversation while chuckling softly and grabbing hold of your hand.
“Which one did you pick after all, Geto-sama?” Mimiko asked before you could.
“Mm. Teriyaki chicken with lettuce and mayonnaise.”
“That's so different from what we're getting,” Nanako pointed out with a grin, almost wanting to laugh.
“It's okay, Nanako. I'll share some of mine with him so he doesn't miss out,” you offered, squeezing his hand lightly as if to tease him.
“And you can try some of mine so you don't ruin your appetite,” he retorted, giving you the same attentive look he had during your ‘date’ in Yokohama.
How ordinary this moment must look to others on the outside. But even if it wasn't true, you were grateful for this semblance of normalcy after so much sadness.
Once everyone had received their crêpes, the four of you began walking around while enjoying the treats.
Suguru's was actually quite good when you took a bite out of it, and he seemed to enjoy yours just as much.
“Do couples always have to share their food like that?” Nanako questioned as she watched the two of you. “I don't think I could.”
“Nanako, that's rude to ask,” Mimiko interjected.
Her words had genuinely made you laugh—at both the question itself and being referred to as a “couple” out loud. Though, at this point, you couldn't blame her for believing it. A part of you did, too.
Looking up at him, you were curious to hear how he would reply.
“Only when they're fond of each other,” Suguru answered before taking another bite of your crêpe like he was proving his own point. “But you're still too young to be worrying about that.”
“I know, it was just a simple question, Geto-sama,” Nanako reassured before being distracted by a vintage clothing shop. “Can we go in there, please?”
“Go ahead,” he quickly gave permission.
“We can hold onto those while you browse a bit,” you added.
“Thank you, Y/n,” Mimiko said as the girls handed their crêpes over to you.
Watching as they ventured into the shop, you commented, “I'm so glad they're enjoying themselves.”
Feeling his eyes on you, you heard him reply. “I hope you are too, pet.”
You nodded with sincerity as the two of you found a place to stand by without getting in the way of others—not that he cared, really, but you did.
“Good,” he smiled from beside you. “Is there anywhere else you'd want to go?”
“They have some really fun photo booths I think the girls would love further down,” you suggested after giving it a short thought.
“Alright,” he replied, finishing off his crêpe and feeding the wrapper to a cursed spirit he quickly summoned and dispelled. “Then we'll go there next.”
Unfazed by his actions, you continued with more details. “The booths even let you decorate the pictures with all sorts of cute things, like frames and digital stickers.”
“Really? I'm curious to see what they come up with then,” he chuckled as he took the girls’ crêpes from you so you could return to your own.
You took another bite, savoring the sweet taste of the strawberries and custard. It almost took you back to that day you spent here with Satoru.
‘Stop it,’ you chastised, forcing the memory back down.
Trying to distract yourself from the thought, you quickly said the first thing that came to mind.
“I hope they add cat ears on you, Suguru.”
He looked briefly surprised by your sudden comment before amusement softened the expression away.
“Is there a particular reason why?”
“I just think you'd look cute,” you answered, taking a final bite before offering the rest to him. “Would you like the last of it, master?”
“Suguru, Y/n,” he reminded you, reaching for it with his free hand. He'd told you to only call him by his first name today earlier.
“Ah- sorry,” you said, internally kicking yourself because the mistake might cost you later. “I forget…”
Before the conversation could continue, the twins returned with their purchases in hand.
“Look, Y/n, isn't this sweater so pretty?” Nanako exclaimed, showing it off to you.
“It is—and it matches you so well,” you replied, smiling.
Mimiko had also gotten a few smaller things that suited her quieter style. You'd complimented her choices as well.
Geto shared your suggestion with the girls then, to which they both excitedly agreed.
Not long after, the four of you found yourselves near all of the brightly lit photobooths.
Once they chose a specific one, the twins immediately became invested in the vast amount of decorative options.
Nanako insisted on trying nearly every digital frame and sticker available while Mimiko pretended to be less interested despite adjusting the placement of each afterward until they were both satisfied.
Eventually, the booth was filled with photos of all four of you together, in pairs, and in smaller groups of three.
There had been a few pictures with just the two of you—the master and his… well, what should you call yourself at this point?
Captive? Lover? Or… the mother of his child, even if…
You shook the thought away, trying not to ruin the mood for the girls’ sake.
To distract yourself, you added a pair of black cat ears onto Suguru's head while decorating one of the digital photos.
“You really went through with it, huh?” he mused beside you.
“Mm. And I was right, you look really cute with them,” you defended lightly.
A quiet chuckle escaped him before he leaned down to press a brief kiss against your temple.
“Then add the same to yourself,” he murmured. “It'd be unfair if we didn't match, pet.”
Unable to hold back a small laugh, you complied, adding a matching pair of cat ears to your own head beside his.
The final result looked far too much like something an actual couple would've made together.
“Perfect,” he'd commented as you clicked on the option to print the photo. “Make sure you get more than one. They may want a copy.”
It was good that he had instructed you to do so because the twins had loved it.
And every other photo that had been taken, in fact.
So much so that, before long, they were talking excitedly about adding some of the pictures to their scrapbooks.
You were relieved to hear them mention that hobby again. Ever since losing the baby, they hadn't even wanted to go near the albums. They’d told you it hurt too much, knowing their sibling’s book would never get to be filled with memories. None of you had been to the nursery room either for the same reason.
With the printed photos safely put away, the four of you continued wandering through Takeshita Street until a flower stand tucked between storefronts caught Suguru's attention.
He insisted on stepping into the shop himself, returning with a different bouquet for each of you.
Nanako was soon happily clutching a bright arrangement of sunflowers and soft yellow daisies, while Mimiko held one filled with white cape jasmines and dusky blue delphiniums.
The bouquet in your hand was softer, more romantic, with several blooms of pink lisianthus and plum clematis nestled between delicate sprigs of baby's breath.
Gifting the three of you flowers had been kind of him to do. Sweet, really.
You stared at the colorful array for a minute before looking back up at him with a soft smile. He was trying. You had to give him credit for that.
“They're beautiful. Thank you, Suguru.”
He kissed your forehead in response before reclaiming your hand in his own, fingers threading naturally between yours as the four of you continued down the street.
“Anything else you'd all like to do before we head back?” he asked.
The girls looked at each other before answering.
“No, Geto-sama,” Mimiko said. “We're ready to go home.”
“What about you, Y/n?”
“I agree with the girls,” you replied, your heart beating faster at the thought of going back to that place—to be trapped once more.
Even so, you echoed the word without hesitation because that was exactly what the accursed estate had become.
You squeezed his hand, gazing up at him with a look caught somewhere between resignation and acceptance.
Despite everything that had happened with you, Geto had not reversed the partial postponement on his plans to attack Jujutsu High.
He had also decided against having you or the girls anywhere near Satoru. The risk just wasn't worth it.
Instead, the status quo had been maintained as he'd instructed in the last emergency meeting.
Because of that, Suda was out securing additional resources. This included identifying wealthy monkeys worth exploiting, gathering blackmail material, and acquiring promising hideouts.
Meanwhile, curses were still being harvested from monkeys while his followers continued scouting locations with cursed spirit activity.
And Negi had kept a watchful eye on the school for opportunities to observe the newest special grade student.
The meeting being held this morning was on that very subject.
Since only Geto and the girls were currently staying at the main estate, everyone else had joined the meeting virtually.
Tomoe had luckily arrived to serve breakfast right in the middle of the discussion. She listened intently, trying to memorize every detail as she slowly prepared the twins’ plates and tea.
“There's a shopping district in Sendai that recently reported an uptick in cursed spirit activity,” Negi explained. “The owners plan to demolish and rebuild it into a new mall, so they've requested Toge Inumaki to exorcize curses in the area before construction begins.”
He paused briefly before continuing. “But our sources also said Yuta Okkotsu will be joining him on the assignment to act as support.”
“I see. That does sound like a perfect opportunity,” Geto replied, resting his chin lightly against his knuckles.
“The Six Eyes shouldn't interfere this time either, Geto,” Suda added, offering more useful details. “We got reports of first-grade spirits appearing in Hatsukaichi—which he's been dispatched to deal with.”
“So he'll be busy,” Geto remarked with quiet amusement. “They must've been quite formidable curses if they required Satoru’s attention. What a waste.”
“Could we go with you, Geto-sama?” Mimiko suddenly asked. “We can help.”
“And Sendai has the Ichibancho mall we want to try,” Nanako added as Tomoe placed a freshly prepared plate in front of her.
“I don't see why not,” he answered in a calm, indulgent tone. “Y/n could join us, too, if she'd like.”
Tomoe hoped with all her might that you wouldn't agree as she placed Mimiko’s breakfast in front of her next.
“They should be arriving in Sendai by three today,” Negi clarified.
“Then we'll have to ask her soon,” Geto replied thoughtfully.
“Tomoe,” he said sharply, causing her to jolt slightly.
“Yes, my lord?” she answered, composing herself as she poured the girls’ tea.
“Go and ask the Lady if she'd be interested in visiting Sendai. If she is not, then she may remain here under your watch.”
“Yes, right away,” she bowed slightly in acknowledgment, carefully placing each cup of tea in front of Mimiko and Nanako.
“You'll have to depart soon to arrive before they put down a veil,” LaRue commented.
That had been the last statement she heard as she hurriedly left the meeting room to find you.
It'd been a little over a month now, but you were still cycling through each stage of grief.
Sometimes you felt the urge to cry. Other times you just wanted to yell into the void.
You still hadn't let Suguru do more than hold and kiss you—even if his patience was wearing thin.
Perhaps some part of you still subconsciously resented him for ever putting you in the position to experience this kind of heartache.
After all, you had never wanted children before being forced here.
You'd even left your first love during university for that very reason. He wanted to marry and build a family with you after graduation, but it just wasn't something you felt you could sincerely give him. Rather than prolonging the inevitable, you had left him so he could find someone else that would.
If only he could see you now, kneeling in front of an altar for a child lost before they even received a name.
Swoosh. Thud. Swoosh. Thud.
The sound of the screen door being slid open and closed abruptly interrupted your thoughts.
“Forgive me, my lady,” you heard Tomoe frantically announce as she walked in and knelt beside you.
“What's wrong? Did something happen?”
“He's asking if you want to join them in Sendai today,” she rushed out, grabbing hold of your hand. “But you have to stay. Please.”
“I don't understand-” you began before Tomoe cut you off.
“I need to talk to you, and this may be the only chance we'll have to be here on the estate. Alone. Everyone from his family is going to be gone, my lady.”
Tomoe was trembling, and you could see the desperation in her eyes.
“Please. I have so much to tell you,” she pleaded.
How could you deny her after everything she'd done for you since your arrival?
“Alright, I'll stay here with you.”
“Really? Thank you, my lady,” she breathed out, tightening her grip on your hand as you returned it in kind.
“Just tell him that it's too much for me today. That you found me here at the altar, and I need rest. I'll say the same if he asks when he comes to say goodbye.”
“I will.” Tomoe nodded as she gently let go of your hand and began to walk towards the door. “They should be leaving within the hour.”
“I'll be here,” you assured softly before she left the room, calmer than earlier but still visibly hurried.
not realizing you’re talking to your ex-boyfriend!sukuna while drunk !
you were way too drunk and the sigma chi house was spinning.
the music thumped through the walls and your head felt light and fuzzy, but you were smiling anyway, red cup dangling from your fingers as you leaned against the wall for balance. your friends had disappeared ages ago and you didn’t really mind.
that’s when you saw him.
tall. pink hair. tattoos crawling up his arms. he looked really familiar but your drunk brain couldn’t connect the dots. you just knew he was stupidly hot standing there by the stairs with his arms crossed.
you stumbled over with a bright smile.
“hi,” you said, voice soft and sweet. “you have the prettiest eyes. like… scary pretty.”
sukuna looked down at you and his eyebrow raised, but he didn’t move away. the corner of his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile.
“yeah?” he asked, voice low.
you nodded, stepping closer until you were leaning into his space. he smelled so good. warm and a little sweet, just like someone you used to know.
“mhm. my ex had eyes like yours,” you mumbled, resting your forehead against his arm because the room wouldn’t stop tilting. “he was mean looking but really nice to me. i miss him a lot actually.”
sukuna stayed quiet, one big hand coming up to steady you by the waist so you wouldn’t fall.
you kept talking, words spilling out easily now that someone was listening.
“we broke up because i thought he didn’t care enough but… he used to do the sweetest things. like bringing me coffee before class or letting me play with his hair even when he acted all tough about it.” you sighed softly. “i think i messed up. i still wear his hoodie to sleep sometimes.”
his grip on your waist tightened just a little.
“you’re drunk,” he murmured.
“super drunk,” you agreed with a little laugh, tilting your head up to look at him again. “but i mean it. he was the best. made me feel safe even when he was quiet and scary. you kinda look like him, it’s weird.”
sukuna let out a quiet breath that sounded almost like a laugh. he guided you through the crowd with a hand on your lower back, taking you upstairs without saying much. you didn’t even question it. his room felt familiar but everything was blurry.
he sat you on the edge of his bed and grabbed a bottle of water, crouching down in front of you so you could drink it. his hand rested gently on your knee the whole time.
“you’re really nice,” you whispered, eyes half closed. “my ex was nice like this too. when nobody else was looking.”
he didn’t answer right away. just brushed some hair out of your face with careful fingers and helped you lie down. when you reached out and grabbed his hand he paused.
“stay?” you asked softly.
sukuna sighed, but it was the soft kind. he sat on the edge of the bed and let you keep holding his hand, thumb rubbing slow circles over your knuckles while you drifted off.
“yeah,” he said quietly, watching you fall asleep in his bed again. “i’m not going anywhere.”
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