A blog for collecting transcripts of Zombies, Run! missions. Moderator is goodplace-janet. Art for the avatar and mobile banner created by typelikemad.
This blog is not official and is not approved or endorsed by nor associated or connected with Six To Start Limited or Naomi Alderman. ZOMBIES, RUN! belongs to Six To Start Limited and Naomi Alderman. Visit www.zombiesrungame.com.
Sections
5K Trainer
Story Missions
Race Missions
Radio Abel
Supply
The Home Front
The Way of All Flesh
Frequently Asked Questions
When should I listen to the race missions?
When should I listen to the season two side missions?
When should I listen to the season four side missions?
Which missions contain cliffhangers?
Are there transcripts for the virtual races?
Do I need to credit this blog if I quote transcripts?
hihi! thank you so much for doing the transcripts. English isn't my first language and they have helped me so much to understand but also to be able to look back on a mission and interiorize the indormation given during it! All the love :) <33333 (also wanted to raise o attention that the link for s10 story missions doesn't lead anywhere!)
Finally fixed this issue, thank you so much for bringing it to our attention!
First, I want to say thank you for all the love you have shown the transcript blog over the years. I'm glad it could be such a valuable resource for so many.
However, I haven't had the capacity to keep it going for a while now, as I'm sure you've noticed. I apologize for the neglected content as well as the inbox full of unanswered messages.
With all this being said, I'm passing admin duties to "an understudy transcriber who prefers to go unnamed" who hopes to get caught up to the most recently released episodes and keep things updated going forward.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Careful, Ranger Five. Keep to the ruin of the church. Thatâs Valmontâs correctional facility ahead, a former resort on the island of Tabarca. It appears heâs swapped the swimming pool for a 20-foot perimeter wall with turrets every meter. The patrol of guard makes its changing shifts by the gate. I know itâs difficult being back near your kin. Janine is there, Iâm sure of it. Getting her out wonât be easy, Five, but no matter what, remember, weâll be there for you.
PETER LYNNE: Oh, for the love of â did you have to call this one Five? Thereâs plenty of numbers out there that arenât dear and absent friends, you know.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Runner Five is heroic, efficient, devoted, brave. Who better as an icon for the escaped experiments of Red Scorpion Base?
PETER LYNNE: Brilliant! Iâve gone from Valmontâs drugged-up lab rat to joining his posse of lost toys! Heâs going to find out Iâm free any time now, Ranger. We have got to get Janine out before he does!
ERNIE VAN ARK: I wish we could be with you, Five, but only Valmont mechs can enter that building. Iâm getting your shoulder cam live and clear. Weâll be monitoring from the boat. Funny... A prison of that size. What does Valmont need it for? He canât have that many enemies he wants kept alive. Sorry. Thatâs him, I think. My other self.
PETER LYNNE: Iâm telling you, Ranger, you ought to sleep with one eye open. One of these days youâre going to wake up to find heâs stripping you for parts! Oh, the shift change is done. The old patrolâs gone inside. The new oneâs walking the perimeter.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Theyâre out of sight. See the gatehouse, Ranger? The bunker built into the wall with turrets either side? This is your chance to slip inside before that patrol comes back around. Quick march, like you belong. Fast as you can, Five. Go!
~
ERNIE VAN ARK: Gosh, those turrets bracketing the gatehouse door are big. Thereâs a scanner on the lefthand one, Five. Press your eye to it. The mechs here are old Model 4s. I used to see them on Red Scorpion. Iâve tweaked your transponder to match. Youâre clear. You can get inside.
[door creaks]
PETER LYNNE: Not exactly plush, is it? Like a big, bare closet. Just a work station cycling images of the prison.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Not even any chairs for the rangers on duty! And Valmont let them get rusty, too. Barbaric. Better hurry, Five. Thereâs a guard watching the far monitor, but they havenât noticed you yet. Plug the cable from your left forearm into the nearest console. The rangers here are networked with the prison. It was similar on Red Scorpion Base. I can use you as a relay to hack the system.
PETER LYNNE: The other mechâs looked your way. Thatâs a really big gun arm sheâs raising. Ernie, hurry up!
ERNIE VAN ARK: Got it! Iâve sent a signal to all the guards, triggering their diagnostic protocols. Theyâll be offline for a short while, cycling self checks. According to the database, DeLucaâs in cell 44 on the far side of the prison. Five, you can take the stairwell behind the gatehouse up. That was an extremely messy hack. The guards wonât be offline for long. And theyâre going to be very, very angry when they wake up. Run!
~
PETER LYNNE: God, Valmont made this place a proper Cell Block H, didnât he? And not even the Freak to liven things up. Corridor after corridor of cold, gray cells with murky portholes on the doors. I donât see any prisoners so far, just lots of ugly stains. Ugh. I thought my prison was hell. This one might be even worse.
ERNIE VAN ARK: She wouldnât be here if it wasnât for me. I put that tracker on the USB stick in Tunisia. Iâm the one who got you captured. The old me didnât make that choice. This was all my fault.
Peter, the others said... You know about guilt. Do you ever... see something beautiful, like a bird or a sunset or this island, and then worry that you maybe donât deserve it because of what youâve done?
PETER LYNNE: No. No. I told you in Murcia when you tried to toast those marshmallows. I am not playing therapist with the ghost of Ernest Van Ark! Christ, you were easier as an evil boss! There! Thatâs her, cell 44. Break the door down, Five, now! [metal slams] Itâs... Itâs just... An empty cell and a wire cot. [exhales] Ernie? She isnât here.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Wait. Look. Thereâs a loose breeze block behind the cot. Five, see if you can pry it all the way out.
PETER LYNNE: A hidey-hole with a snapped off spoon inside. I can see thereâs something carved into the stone in the hole. Itâs a... is that a... [laughs] Itâs a flow chart. A branch plan. Janine told me they help with organizing thoughts in times of extreme stress.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Sheâs noting the guard patterns, getting floor plans. Sheâs working out an escape. Oh, Peter, these branches all link to your name. She was planning to find you.
PETER LYNNE: Valmont was threatening to torture her already. If he caught her planning an escape...
ERNIE VAN ARK: She must be in serious trouble. Five, the interrogation wing is on the bottom level. Take the spiral stairs ahead down. Thereâs a wardenâs office in that wing. It has line of sight to anywhere they might have taken her. Freezing the rangers may have bought her some reprieve, but theyâll probably blame her for us shutting time down. Weâve got to get her out of here. Hurry, Five!
~
PETER LYNNE: There, Five! The iron door at the bottom of the stairs, itâs marked Warden. Kick it down!
[door slams open]
ERNIE VAN ARK: Lots of monitors in there, showing all the interrogation rooms. Look for Janine, Five. Hold on. The way Sam used to describe Abel. That room looks like his comms shack, only filled with extra recording equipment. Are those film cameras?
PETER LYNNE: Yep. That roomâs got a Maghreb flag pinned up. That oneâs got the stars and stripes. They look like... film sets? What is Valmont doing here?
ERNIE VAN ARK: Five, somethingâs moving in the vent above you. Look out!
[JANINE DE LUCA shouts]
PETER LYNNE: Itâs Janine! She just dropped out of the vent! Careful, Ranger, sheâs on your back. Jenny, can you hear me?
JANINE DE LUCA: First sever the optic relays, then the cranial wires!
ERNIE VAN ARK: Sheâs ripping Fiveâs external cables out. Hold on, Iâm routing us through Fiveâs speakers.
PETER LYNNE: Janine! Janine! Itâs me, itâs Peter! Itâs okay. The ranger is with me.
JANINE DE LUCA: Peter? No. Enough recordings, enough simulations, enough making me hear him in distress or Mr. Yao in fear. If you think feelings will stop me, you are very much mistaken!
PETER LYNNE: Janine, itâs me, itâs really, uh â Suffolk tequila! Remember? Number 77 on your bucket list, you wanted to be spontaneous with me! Spent two days planning it. We drank a bottle of tequila from the Suffolk enclave on your farmhouse roof. I sang Fernando! Badly! But we danced, and you fell and sprained your wrist. I donât think Maxine believed it was a training exercise. Itâs really me. I came to rescue you.
JANINE DE LUCA: Peter? No. You should not be on this island.
[alarm blares]
ERNIE VAN ARK: That sounds like a problem.
JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Van Ark. I wouldnât have expected you to be involved in this. The other rangers appear to be shut down. If this was your doing, it was very, very rash. Valmont boasted of the security here when I first arrived. If the guards are inactive for more than a short time, the prison will start a purge. All captives will be executed.
I spent months planning a covert escape by the vents, one that wouldnât raise the alarm! When the rangers shut down, I was forced to expedite my exfiltration in a far from optimal way. We must evacuate the prison. Iâm taking command of this rescue operation, effective immediately. Ranger, follow me. According to that screen, the other prisoners are in this wing. Open every cell door that we pass. Thereâs no time to lose. Down the corridor, past the guard stations. Move!
~
ERNIE VAN ARK: One more cell ahead, Five. From seeing their databases, the last with a prisoner inside. The rest are all trailing behind you and Janine.
[door slams open]
CAPTAIN : Quâest-ce que câest? Quâest quâil ce pass?
JANINE DE LUCA: Itâs a prison break, Captain. Follow me. To freedom!
ERNIE VAN ARK: Wait a minute. I recognize that man. Captain Blaise [Canard, a French sailor who joined the Maghreb. He caused a lot of trouble for Red Scorpion Base before his ship went down. Some of these prisoners must be his crew.
JANINE DE LUCA: Valmont tried to force me to record tapes for Abel, implicating the Maghreb in my capture. I checked the wardenâs office during my escape. Heâs trying to do the same to other prisoners here, trying to make the Maghreb believe Abel is holding their sailors ransom. This is no mere prison. Itâs a factory for disinformation and false flags!
[jingle over intercom]
PETER LYNNE: Oh, that sounds like a Valmont announcement.
BRENT VALMONT: Attention, prisoners! If youâre hearing this, my guards havenât regained control in the allotted window. Janine, I bet itâs you, you scamp! Well, donât worry. As the vet said to the vicar, Iâve got a fix for that. My techs developed a painless gas for quelling prison riots! This isnât it. This one makes your lungs pop and your eardrums melt. Donât worry, Iâll have your remains stuffed and sent to Peter. What an end for star-crossed lovers, eh? The exits are all sealed. Enjoy your tomb, Janine. Itâs been a wheeze!
JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Van Ark, gas is pouring from the air vents. We could use an exit plan!
ERNIE VAN ARK: I... I donât know. I thought turning off the rangers was clever. If I had another week, I could have shut the whole system down, but we were in a hurry. Iâve done it again. Iâve doomed you all. Iâm sorry.
PETER LYNNE: Ernie! Van Ark, you little megalomaniac, focus! You never felt guilt when you were killing millions. Why start now? They need ideas, not brooding. Thatâs my turf! What about Fiveâs arm cannon, is it powerful enough to break through the walls?
ERNIE VAN ARK: It isnât. Unless... Peter, youâre a genius. The rangers are as deserving of rescue as anyone. The gas will kill them, too. But they might also be our only hope. Janine, Five, thereâs a vehicle bay down the corridor. It has poorer ventilation, the gas will take a while to build there. Smash through the doors, Five, and try to hold your breath. Hurry, go!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: [coughs] Mr. Van Ark, weâve reached the vehicle bay. The doorâs sealed behind electrified shutters. The bay is empty save for many frozen guards.
ERNIE VAN ARK: The rangers are all networked, Five, remember? If you use your cable to plug into the nearest one, I can grant you admin privileges. I can route the network through you. Youâll have control of every ranger here, enough to shoot your way out. But the neural strain will be extreme. You wonât be able to take more than a few minutes, maybe not even that. Are you sure, Five?
JANINE DE LUCA: Under the circumstances, Mr. Van Ark, we have no alternative. Your ranger is plugging in.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Iâm configuring the network, Five. Linking you to all the other mechs, waking them up, giving you control... now. [Ranger Five screams] Five? Are you all right? If you can still hear me, raise your right arm. It worked! All the mechs in the building are raising their arms! Five, if you can bear the strain, point your gun arm at the nearest wall. Let them follow suit, and fire!
[heavy gunfire]
PETER LYNNE: That did it! And the wallâs coming down. Roofâs starting to give out, too.
JANINE DE LUCA: Thank you, Ranger. Now lead the prisoners into the courtyard before the ceiling collapses. We must get clear of the gas. Through the wall, run!
~
ERNIE VAN ARK: You and Janine are almost across the prison courtyard, Five. Peter and I are waiting past the gates. Iâm so sorry, I know this must be agonizing, but if you can manage one more volley, blast the outer wall down.
[heavy gunfire]
Five, thank God you made it out! Iâve set your network to shut down. The other rangers should be going back to sleep any second now. Oh gosh, you fused half your circuits. That gun arm wonât be firing anytime soon. Still, look at all these prisoners youâve freed!
JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Van Ark, that was quite the rescue plan.
PETER LYNNE: [clears throat] It, uh... wasnât all him, you know. God. Jenny, come here.
JANINE DE LUCA: Peter, youâre shaking.
PETER LYNNE: Oh, thatâs just some uh, drug withdrawal and a spot of joy. I, um... I didnât think I would see you again.
JANINE DE LUCA: I had no intention, Peter, of letting that be true. You and Mr. Van Ark are a surprisingly effective team.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Weâve had our ups and downs, but I suppose weâre both immortal. Weâve got eternity to work on it.
PETER LYNNE: Under absolutely no circumstances! Heâs been worse than torture, Jenny, really.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Janine, itâs my fault you were captured. I promise, I will make up for it. I only wish weâd got more of the rangers out, but at least weâve rescued most. If I study their software, I think I can work out a shutdown hack that accounts for Valmont traps. And thereâs a yacht beached along the shore we can use to send the prisoners home. Now youâre free. If anyone can give us an edge against Valmont, itâs you.
PETER LYNNE: After we get some rest somewhere far from that cell.
JANINE DE LUCA: Alas, thatâs not an option, Peter. Valmont chose to gas his captives rather than use explosives. He likely means to count the bodies. When he finds Iâm missing...
ERNIE VAN ARK: Heâll know to raise his game.
JANINE DE LUCA: Indeed. Whatever his plans, whatever he was using his prisoners to distract from, our escape only invites an escalation. We must seek to counter him. Whatever friends we have in danger, wherever Valmont has his sights, I fear things for everyone are about to get much worse.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I... Sorry. Madam, I... Oh, thank you, really, but I have to go.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Quinzi, please keep the carnival crowd from jostling Frances. I must say, that magpie mask suits you well. [laughs] And Frances, a black swan to match Maxineâs raven!
MAXINE MYERS: We need to keep our masks on tonight. All the gangs of Venice are out, including the most powerful of them all, the Mala.
MOHAMMED Who, alas, have been on the hunt for myself and Frances since we first stepped foot in this city.
MAXINE MYERS: Iâm sorry, itâs my fault! I brought you into danger, into a plague city. But I need your help to locate the source of the sickness. And tonight, with the carnival for cover, we might finally be able to.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Iâm just glad we found you, Maxie. I donât care about the plague... well, I do. Those poor people. But not as much as I care about you. Me and Mo spent months looking for Five, for any of the missing Abel people, traveling all over Europe. Iâd kind of given up hope. And then we found you! Thatâs awesome. And you think the plagueâs waterborne, right? Me and Mo and Quinzi have been drinking bottled water since we got here. Weâll be fine.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: And besides, it wasnât truly you who summoned us, was it, Maxine? Your messages came via intermediaries. And its origins was this mysterious contact youâve mentioned to us, the person who helped you to escape from Valmont.
MAXINE MYERS: If it wasnât for them, I wouldnât have made it out of Tunisia. When I got away from Valmont, I was half-drowned, no equipment. Thatâs when I got the first message, just a printed note with instructions on how to find a stash theyâd hidden for me. Food, weapons, maps.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: But you never spoke to them. Youâve got no idea who it really is.
MAXINE MYERS: No. But I didnât know how they knew I needed help, unless it was one of the others. Five, maybe, or Janine. I donât know why they canât get in touch directly. But with Valmont watching... Thatâs another reason you need to keep your masks on tonight! Valmont might have eyes in the city. I know heâs been tracking me since I escaped in Tunisia. Thatâs why I couldnât risk a message home.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Iâve tried to raise Amelia since we found you to tell her the happy news. My signal never gets through. Blocked by this Valmont, no doubt.
MAXINE MYERS: His reach is terrifying.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: But tonight, weâll be just four revelers amongst many as we search for the origin of the plague devouring the city from the inside. After the next bridge, weâll be in Mala territory. We must run!
~
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: We are in Mala territory now. Although it doesnât look as fearsome as their reputation. The lights from all the palaces reflecting in the water, costumed revelers on every balcony, quite beautiful.
MAXINE MYERS: Itâs not usually like this. Since Z-Day, this cityâs been divided into territories run by the gangs. Some of them, like your magpies, Quinzi, take good care of their people. Others, not so much. This carnival is a general ceasefire. All the gangs are free to move through each othersâ territory, and so are we.
[fireworks explode, audience cheers]
FRANCES DEMPSEY: They seem weirdly happy. For, you know, people in a plague city.
MAXINE MYERS: You need to understand, everyone out there has lost someone or is in the process of losing someone to this sickness. There is no escape, no cure. Itâs a party for the end of the world.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: And you are entirely convinced, Dr. Myers, that this plague is connected to Mr. Valmont?
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Yeah. I know heâs like, a terrible person, but deliberately spreading a plague is next-level terrible.
MAXINE MYERS: Itâs him. When the buboes are fully developed, you can see a V-shaped lesion in them. I think Venice must be a failed experiment, a test of his panacea that went horribly wrong. But it can be cured, I am sure. I just need to know where it came from, where it started.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The plague is everywhere! The streets are filled with the sick and the dead! What makes you believe, Dr. Myers, that this has but one point of origin?
MAXINE MYERS: Have you ever heard of John Snow?
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Um, yeah. The âYou know nothingâ guy from Game of Thrones?
MAXINE MYERS: [laughs] No, the other one, the founder of epidemiology. In the 19th century, people thought diseases were caused by miasmas, bad air. He didnât. There was a cholera outbreak in Soho he was sure was carried through the water. By studying the spread of the disease, he traced it back to just one water pump.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: They removed the pumpâs handle! I believe to prevent further infection.
MAXINE MYERS: Yeah! And Iâm no John Snow, but Iâve done my best. Iâve spent the last weeks interviewing plague victims, mapping the spread. Quinzi, youâve been a massive help. You know Venice better than anyone, and youâre very good at opening doors, literally and metaphorically. Thanks to you, I think Iâve located the well thatâs the source point for the whole plague. Trouble is, itâs in Mala territory, which we had no chance of getting into before tonight.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: And you think once weâve found it, we might be able to take the pump handle off?
MAXINE MYERS: Maybe. And more importantly, with a sample from the source of the plague, thereâs a chance my contact can synthesize a cure. One of their messages told me that theyâve got access to an advanced lab, but they canât do anything until they know where the plague came from.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I see the first Mala checkpoint ahead. Two sentries dressed in red. Even in a ceasefire, it seems they are still on their guard.
MAXINE MYERS: We canât risk them identifying you. We need to sneak past. Quinzi, take the lead. Stick to the shadows, and move quickly. Run!
~
MAXINE MYERS: I can see the Dogeâs palace ahead.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Itâs all illuminated with candles and colored lanterns. Fire breathers, acrobats, and this music... I... I think I recognize it.
MAXINE MYERS: The Mala certainly made themselves at home. Theyâve only had this territory for a few months.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Who controlled it before?
MAXINE MYERS: No one knows. The Mala moved in with very little resistance. I think this is where the plague started, a well in the center of the courtyard. Weâll need to blend into the party and get a water sample without anyone noticing.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I donât like this...
MAXINE MYERS: You are doing great, Frances. Weâre almost at the well.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: No, itâs not that. Doesnât this feel familiar to you guys?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Venice Carnival has starred in many a film over the years.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: No, you donât understand. Iâm so sure Iâve heard this music before. If I can just get a closer listen...
MAXINE MYERS: Frances!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Quickly! Quinzi, hide Frances! That dancer knocked her mask clean off!
REVELER: Itâs her, the interloper!
MAXINE MYERS: Itâs too late. Back the way we came, now!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Not possible. Mala thugs have blocked the entry.
MAXINE MYERS: The other way then, under the arches, into the palace. Run!
~
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Weâre inside the palace, but the Mala are right behind us. Now where?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There, a metal door at the bottom of those stairs. If we slip inside before our pursuers arrive, they may not realize where weâve gone.
[metal rattles]
MAXINE MYERS: Just kick it, Quinzi. [metal bangs, hinges creak] Everybody in.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Mala have run past. We remain hidden.
MAXINE MYERS: Theyâll check that door sooner or later. We need to keep moving.
MOHAMME BOUJETTIF: Where are we?
MAXINE MYERS: I think this might be the old prison. I know itâs beneath the Dogeâs palace. Frances, are you all right?
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I donât know what came over me. Iâm so sorry. I felt like Iâve seen it all before, but... Uh, never mind. Can we please keep moving? This place is giving me the creeps. Also, are you seeing lights ahead, Quinzi, or am I officially losing my mind?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: If you are, Iâm joining you in madness. This prison should be a shell, derelict, and long-abandoned, but... I see work benches. Are those Bunsen burners? I believe weâre running through a laboratory!
MAXINE MYERS: A hidden laboratory right under the well thatâs the source of the plague? Itâs got to mean something.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Perhaps our answer lies ahead of us, and with our enemies behind, I suggest we all make haste!
~
MAXINE MYERS: This underground lab goes on forever. What were they doing?
FRANCES DEMSPEY: And why all these cells? Some of them look like part of the original architecture, but... Hey, I think thereâs someone in there. Hello? [metal slams, zombie growls, chains clink, FRANCES gasps] Oh, itâs okay. Itâs okay. Itâs a zombie. I can deal with zombies, especially when theyâre locked up. Look, itâs wearing a lab coat. But can you see, Quinzi? Itâs got this horrible oily green goo leaking out of its eyes.
MAXINE MYERS: It could be the plague. In its later stages, patients show greenish-black veins all over their face and lymph nodes. Most of them die soon after. The bodies are cremated to prevent further infection. We might be looking at the post-mortem stage.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Over here. I believe I may have found something. A telegram. âStage one infection completed. Withdraw and observe.â
MAXINE MYERS: I was right. This is the source. I guess thatâs my area of expertise these days, the zombie virus and other plagues. [laughs] Talk about a specialism you never wanted. But then... How did they get it in the water?
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Over there, pipes leading upward. The well is above here, right? And thereâs a huge container of that sickly green goo feeding into the pipes. We found your water pump, Maxine!
MAXINE MYERS: Thatâs not all. Look at the initials.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: V. Of course.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Again, he marks his gruesome handiwork. An egoist of repulsive proportions!
MAXINE MYERS: Frances, help me disconnect this pipe. Itâs probably too late, but letâs stop any more of this stuff getting into the water. Quinzi, get a sample of that goo and letâs get out of here.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Wait, is that... It looks like mold growing in the tank. A horrible sickly green mold. Get some of that, too, Quinzi. [metal creaks and bangs, zombies growl] The cell doors have all opened. It must have been triggered when we touched the pipes!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: An undead fail-safe. There are dozens of them! White lab coat, barely decayed, weeping that pustulent ooze!
MAXINE MYERS: Mo, behind you. Quinzi, itâs about to grab him!
[zombie growls, splatters]
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: A most inventive use of the spectrometer, Quinzi. Thank you.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Theyâre swarming the lab!
MAXINE MYERS: We canât go back the way we came, the Mala will be waiting. Our only choice is to go deeper into the tunnels. Run!
~
FRANCES DEMPSEY: We canât seem to lose those zoms!
MAXINE MYERS: We did lose our way, though. All those tunnels look the same.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Wait, are you hearing this?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Music. We must be getting close to the surface!
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Itâs the same music from the party. The same song, echoing all over the city. I know this music. Like Alice singing when we were kids, like... something in my bones. The music, the dancers with their grinning masks... I remember now! It reminds me of the dreams I had when I lived in the Far Hebrides. Maxine, do you think the plague is connected to the Red God?
MAXINE MYERS: I donât know how it could be. This isnât the zombie virus. Thereâs no red fungus in Venice.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: But there was mold growing in the tanks that held the plague. I have a sample here. And molds are a form of fungus.
MAXINE MYERS: Well, weâll have to worry about it later. For now, we need to follow the music. Just run.
~
MOHAMMED Through there! I can see a light.
MAXINE MYERS: Itâs coming from up that ladder. It must be a sewer hatch in the street. We can make it. Quickly! Give me your hand, Quinzi. Mo, get the hatch ready to shut behind us.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Weâre alive! We made it out!
MAXINE MYERS: I canât thank you enough. Now that we have found the source of the plague, you can take it to my contact. They can finally start working towards a cure. Theyâre based somewhere in the Alps. They said theyâd have a car waiting for you at the edge of the city with a map inside.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: A vehicle waiting for us and not for you? But surely you will accompany us, Dr. Myers.
MAXINE MYERS: No, I wonât. I canât leave Venice. Look, weâre clear of the Mala. I think itâs time to unmask.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Your face! Maxine, what are those marks? Those green-black veins?
MAXINE MYERS: I started getting sick just before you arrived. Fever, joint pain. The more visible symptoms came slower. The veins appeared last night. We know Valmont infected people through the water, but thereâs a chance the plague itself is infectious in its later stages. I-I canât risk leaving.
FRANCES DEMSPEY: You should have told us.
MAXINE MYERS: It would have just distracted you, and with what weâve found today? If you can get to my contact, maybe youâll be able to save me. And if not me, a lot of other people.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Frances and I will fly like birds to find this contact. Faster! We wonât fail you, Dr. Myers.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: No. Sorry. It doesnât take two of us to carry that plague sample, and youâll be faster without me anyway, Mo. Iâm staying.
MAXINE MYERS: Frances!
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Look, Iâm not a runner or a thief or a genius who solved the zombie plague like you, Maxine. But I worked on Dearg for a long time. If anyone knows the red fungus, itâs me. Or whatever other sort of fungus weâve got going on here. This is where I need to be.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Are you quite sure, my friend?
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Yes. Iâm at least going to stay until the fresh water runs out. And then, well, youâll have brought a cure by then, right, Mo?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: You have told me many tales of your sister, Frances. I know you donât want to live in her shadow, but I feel she would be proud. Take care of each other. I will use the escape route youâve prepared, Maxine, and I will cross rivers, fields, and mountains to bring you back a cure. On this, you have my word!
ZOE CRICK: Thanks for coming with me, Five. Sorry itâs all drizzly and muddy. You donât mind me just calling you Five rather than Canton Five, do you? Well, obviously not. Thatâs what Iâve always called you. Itâs only... Since Abel Five and all the rest went missing, people have started getting a bit emotional about it.
I know Ameliaâs been running you ragged. Sheâs been running herself ragged, too. Iâm not even at Abel, and nothing feels right with all of them gone. Amelia says sheâs going to find them, and letâs be honest, she always gets what she wants. But this time just seems different.
Brent Valmont wasnât who I expected to hear from when Phil and I opened up the lines for a call-in today. Amelia says heâs a terrible person, which is incredible, coming from Amelia. But I donât see how telling us about a lost shipping container full of rare animals could be part of some nefarious plot.
So I thought you and I could pick them up, Five. If theyâre cute, maybe we can bring them in for the kids in our mental health support group. And if theyâre not cute... highly unlikely. Theyâd have to be hissing cockroaches or something. Whatever they are, itâs going to be better than those otters we tried. I donât think Sam will ever forgive us for the mess they made of his hoodie collection. Although itâs his own fault for being so lazy with his laundry.
Oh God, I really miss them. Hold on. How is it that time? Valmont said heâd get someone to meet us at the beach five minutes ago. I hope itâs Jody. I barely get to see her, now sheâs in charge of Abel. Come on, Five. Race you! Only donât go too fast because Iâm not actually a runner.
~
ZOE CRICK: Look, Five, up ahead, leaning against that half-rotten rowing boat on the beach. It isnât Jody. Much too tall. Actually, I donât recognize her at all, do you? Hello? Are you from Valmont?
SLAVA: Hello. Yes, I am. You must be Zoe. Mr. Valmont didnât say youâd be bringing company.
ZOE CRICK: Oh, yes. This is Canton Five. Five, this is... Someone whose name I donât know, sorry.
SLAVA: Miroslava. Itâs Slava to my friends. Great to meet you, Five. And you, Zoe Crick, First Lady of the UK.
ZOE CRICK: [laughs] First Lady? Wait. [sighs] Let me just enjoy picturing Ameliaâs face if she heard that. Thereâs only room for one first in Ameliaâs life, and thatâs Amelia.
SLAVA: [laughs] Youâre funny. Not what I was expecting. Not the way Mr. Valmont described.
ZOE CRICK: Oh. He told you about me, did he? I didnât actually think he knew who I was until he contacted us earlier.
SLAVA: [laughs] Are you kidding? He calls you âAmeliaâs little side piece.â
ZOE CRICK: Mm. Lovely.
SLAVA: Because youâre sleeping with his wife. They are still married, arenât they?
ZOE CRICK: Yeah, I suppose. Technically. Amelia says a zombie apocalypse is as good as a divorce.
SLAVA: Come on. Letâs move. The shipping crate is that way.
ZOE CRICK: So uh, who exactly are you? I mean, what do you do for Valmont?
SLAVA: Iâm his Chief Executive Operative.
ZOE CRICK: Thatâs one of those titles that could mean absolutely anything.
SLAVA: [laughs] Youâre right! Come on. The shipping container is on a sand bar. When the tide comes in, whateverâs inside it will drown. Letâs run!
~
ZOE CRICK: There they are, Five. Look, theyâre birds. Just two of them, waddling up and down the sand bar, looking distraught. The tideâs already coming in. Weâll need to wade to get to them.
[splashing footsteps]
SLAVA: Theyâre big. Must be 20, 25 kilo. I donât recognize the breed.
ZOE CRICK: I think I do... but that would be ridiculous. [birds coo and honk] Five, look at those beaks. Are they â are they dodos?
SLAVA: I donât see why not.
ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Because theyâre extinct! This is so weird. I mean, awesome, obviously. Look at their cute fluffy faces! But what on earth are two dodos doing in a shipping container off the British coast? Never mind. Letâs just catch them first. Move nice and slowly, Five. We donât want to spook them. [water splashes, bird honks] Oh my God! Slava, look out!
SLAVA: [shouts] Get off me, you disgusting thing!
ZOE CRICK: One on the left, Five! Itâs trying to headbutt Slava.
SLAVA: Thanks for the assist, Five! Now hold it still while - [bird honks] Dammit! Itâs going for Zoeâs leg with its beak.
ZOE CRICK: With its massive beak! Massive and actually quite sharp.
SLAVA: We have to get away from them.
ZOE CRICK: Oh my God, theyâre chasing after us. The one on the left looks literally murderous. Why did no one ever tell me dodos were this aggro?
SLAVA: Oh well. We tried.
ZOE CRICK: What are you talking about? Weâre still going to rescue them, even if they are absolutely horrible. Maybe we can let them chase us back to New Canton, then we can get more runners to help us round them up?
SLAVA: The things you Brits waste resources on.
ZOE CRICK: Not an animal lover, then?
SLAVA: Theyâre all just meat on legs to me.
ZOE CRICK: If you try to eat one of my cats, I would have to kill you.
SLAVA: Donât worry. Not enough flesh on the bone, barely a mouthful. Mr. Valmont always says, âMake sure the prey is worth the hunt.â
ZOE CRICK: Oh no. Zombies heading our way. Theyâre all rotted and waterlogged. The flesh is falling off in lumps. We need to steer the dodos away from them.
SLAVA: Okay. Let the dodos almost catch us, and... Uh, yes. Thatâs it. Now speed up, but curve your run towards those rocks.
ZOE CRICK: Itâs working. Theyâre following us, and I know the caves up ahead. They should bring us out between Abel and Canton. Come on, Five!
~
SLAVA: Almost at the caves, now.
ZOE CRICK: The dodos are still following us. Also, the zoms.
SLAVA: Those birds are fast! Werenât they supposed to be slow and docile?
ZOE CRICK: Yeah, but our records come from the colonizers who eventually killed them off. Hardly unbiased.
SLAVA: [chuckles] Thatâs the beauty of winning. You get to write the history. Come on, into the caves. We should be able to lose the zoms in here.
ZOE CRICK: Those zoms arenât letting up. We canât seem to shake them.
SLAVA: Sure we can! You see that pothole up ahead? Wide and very deep.
ZOE CRICK: Youâre not thinking of a McShell?
SLAVA: When in Rome.
ZOE CRICK: But I thought you werenât meant to do them in odd-numbered groups.
SLAVA: Every rule was made to be broken. Iâll take the left-hand passage, you and Five take the right. Iâll meet you at the exit nearest to New Canton. No time to argue. Here they come! Go, go, go!
~
[splashing footsteps]
ZOE CRICK: Slava? Slava?
SLAVA: [radio crackles] Zoe, Five?
ZOE CRICK: Maybe the rockâs blocking her signal. Hopefully sheâs made it through. Can you see the dodos, Five? I should have made sure they were following us. These caves are pretty twisty and turny, but I think the exit we want is at the end of this passage. Oh, thatâs not good. The way outâs blocked by a huge rock. [struggles] It wonât budge. But that canât be right! Phil and Layla were down here rockpooling the other day. They never mentioned this!
[zombies growl]
Oh, brilliant! Some of the zoms must have evaded the McShell. Oh, I knew we shouldnât have tried it in a three! You heard me say that, right, Five? [water pours] Jesus, and now the waterâs rising! Phil said these caves flood fast at high tide. Why am I only remembering that now? No. I refuse to survive the zombie apocalypse only to drown to death a few miles from my own front door! There should be another way out further down. Come on, Five!
~
ZOE CRICK: Five, Iâm sorry. Can you give me a hand over this rock? I canât feel my feet anymore. The waterâs up to my waist. Why wonât it stop rising? Iâm so sorry, Five. What a ridiculous way to die, chasing after 50-pound extinct birds. 50-pound extinct birds with, it turns out, awful personalities. Ameliaâs going to be furious. I think... I think I want to call her now.
AMELIA SPENS: [static] Zoe, for the last time, we are not dressing up as Jawas for Halloween! If we must go as Star Wars characters, Iâll be Kylo Ren and you can be General Hux.
[ZOE CRICK laughs]
AMELIA SPENS: Whatâs up? Whatâs the matter?
ZOE CRICK: Know how you said I should never go on missions because Iâm so rubbish at them?
AMELIA SPENS: I do recall. Where are you?
ZOE CRICK: Caves. Sea caves. Iâm with Five. Theyâre filling up with water really, really fast.
AMELIA SPENS: [sighs] Sea caves is dazzling nonspecific. Where, exactly?
ZOE CRICK: Oh, um... Wait. I filed a mission plan with Nadia like you always tell me to. Sheâll have a map.
AMELIA SPENS: [shouts] Jules, get a snorkel team prepped now. Coordinate with Nadia, sheâll tell you where to send them. Tell them to take two extra oxygen tanks. My idiot girlfriend is trying to drown herself. Go, now!
ZOE CRICK: You never call me that.
AMELIA SPENS: Youâll need to be my girlfriend if Iâm going to play the grieving widow. Oh no, hang on. Life partnerâs better. My life partner tragically passed away while for some reason prancing around a water hazard with my chief runner. That should be worth a few points in the polls.
ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Will you go into official mourning?
AMELIA SPENS: Blackâs always suited me rather well, so yes. Zoe, why are you prancing around a water hazard rather than running a bath for me like I asked you to?
ZOE CRICK: Youâre not allowed to be cross with me when I tell you.
AMELIA SPENS: Iâm already cross with you!
ZOE CRICK: Dodos! I mean, we didnât know it was dodos originally. Not that that would have made us any less likely to go. More likely, really.
AMELIA SPENS: Dodos?
ZOE CRICK: Valmont tipped us off about them.
AMELIA SPENS: Brent. Huh. Yes, I see. He would think it was funny, luring you to your death with an extinct animal.
ZOE CRICK: Can you... Can you tell Phil that I love him? I know I donât say it enough, or really at all, but -
AMELIA SPENS: Zoe, stop being maudlin, you know I canât abide it. I will get you out of this. [sighs] Five, youâre the professional, for heavenâs sake. Help her. Weâll be having words when you get back to New Canton.
ZOE CRICK: Itâs not Fiveâs fault!
AMELIA SPENS: Save your breath. Just keep treading water, keep your arms and legs moving.
~
AMELIA SPENS: Five, Zoe, can you hear me? Zoe!
ZOE CRICK: Iâm here. Iâm here.
AMELIA SPENS: My scuba divers are 12 minutes out.
ZOE CRICK: Oh. Okay. So... How long after drowning can you resuscitate someone?
AMELIA SPENS: Up to 6 minutes.
ZOE CRICK: You were right. Iâm such an idiot.
AMELIA SPENS: Donât. This isnât your fault. Itâs mine! Youâre only a target because of me. Sorry, Zoe.
ZOE CRICK: No. Itâs all right. I always knew exactly what I was getting into with you, and I did it anyway!
AMELIA SPENS: More fool you.
ZOE CRICK: Itâs been good though, hasnât it?
AMELIA SPENS: I wouldnât change a single minute, my darling. Except this one.
[explosion]
SLAVA: Zoe, Five?
AMELIA SPENS: What the hell was that?
ZOE CRICK: Slava, is that you? Amelia, the waterâs draining. I think Slavaâs blasted through the wall of the cave. Weâve got an escape route!
AMELIA SPENS: Whoâs Slava when sheâs at home?
ZOE CRICK: Iâve got to go. Iâll tell you when I get back. Amelia?
AMELIA SPENS: Oh, there you go. I knew you were making a big old fuss about nothing. Iâll see you both in New Canton. Expect a stern lecture! [radio clicks]
SLAVA: Zoe, Five, Iâve blown a hole in the cave wall. Itâs about half a click down that tunnel. You need to get to it fast before the water refills.
~
[zombies growl]
SLAVA: Zoe, Five! Quick, into the Jeep before those zoms get you.
[door slams, engine revs]
ZOE CRICK: Youâre a literal lifesaver. [bird squawks] Oh my God, and you got the dodos, too.
SLAVA: They found their own way out of the caves. Must have a better instinct for self-preservation than you.
ZOE CRICK: We thought youâd lost you there.
SLAVA: Ah, got turned around in the tunnels. Sorry for the radio silence. Guess my mic took a knock on the cave wall. I could still hear you, when you were uh, talking to Amelia. Used it as a locator beacon to find you.
ZOE CRICK: Oh, yeah. Um... I think I was losing it a bit.
SLAVA: Itâs funny. Mr. Valmont says Amelia canât possibly care about you at all, but thatâs not true, is it?
ZOE CRICK: For certain definitions of âcare.â When I first started seeing her, everyone thought Iâd lost my mind. Especially Jody. Amelia framed her for murder once, and Jodyâs never forgiven her. Which, to be fair, is pretty reasonable. But I suppose there must be a reason Iâve stayed with Amelia this long.
SLAVA: I like you, Zoe Crick. I think we should be friends. We can compare life lived in the shadow of great leaders.
ZOE CRICK: As long as you donât mind me persuading you not to believe everything Valmont says.
SLAVA: [laughs] You can try. Come on. Letâs get you and Five back to New Canton. Ameliaâs waiting.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Well, Ranger Five, that should be it, on the horizon. The base holding your namesake, Runner Five. A top secret Valmont facility in the Spanish desert. An entire prison dedicated to a single high-priority captive. Thatâs what it said in the intelligence we stole from Casablanca, but all I see is an Old West town. A single strip of wooden buildings. A saloon, a sheriffâs office. No signs of life.
I donât know much about the American West, Five. They only had so many history texts on Red Scorpion Base. Sam once said they used to make cowboy movies in the Spanish desert. There must be old sets in this area. Sam knew a lot about movies. I hoped... one day I might get to watch some with him.
[Ranger Fiveâs implants whir]
Weeks of searching, Ranger. Weeks since we escaped Red Scorpion. All those Valmont decoys. The fake prison in Gibraltar. The false Fives in Tangier. This canât be another dead end, it canât be! What would the old me say, I wonder? Something megalomaniacal, I expect. I hear him sometimes in the night, Five, scolding foolish little Ernie for letting Valmont get ahead.
Valmontâs weakness is his flair for drama. Thatâs what the old Van Ark would say. His tendency for fancy. Just because he built a prison doesnât mean it looks like one! See? Most of these buildings are wooden backdrops, but not the saloon. Its windows are all barred and sealed. Hiding a prison in plain sight surrounded by tumbleweed, thatâs the sort of thing Brent Valmont would do!
Youâd better get your implants ready for a fight. Runner Fiveâs imprisoned on that film set, Iâd bet on it. Itâs getting dark. We can use those wooden carts to cover our approach. Watch out for guards. Thereâs a hero waiting on our rescue. Run!
~
ERNIE VAN ARK: Here we are, Ranger Five. The saloon. Itâs even got swinging doors. Samâd love this, wouldnât he? Weâd best be careful. We donât know what weâll find inside, although... itâs strange we havenât encountered a single guard yet.
[footsteps on creaking wood, piano plays]
I donât understand. This place is deserted, but itâs certainly not a real saloon. Look at that thick metal door behind the self-playing piano. And the barâs a computer terminal in disguise. [sighs] Hold on, Iâll hack the door. [computer zaps] Inside, Five. Quick!
[door opens, devices whir and hiss, chemicals bubble]
So much for the Old West. This is a laboratory! Centrifuges, robot arms, dissection tables, all fully automated. There! A cell door, in the corner. That must be where Runner Five is kept. Can you wrench it open? [implants whir, metal creaks, monitor beeps] A padded cell. One poor soul strapped to a gurney... Donât worry, Runner Five, weâre here to - ! Oh. Thatâs... Not Runner Five.
PETER LYNN: Time for another robot checkup, eh, Brent? Got to top me up? Oh God! Oh, thatâs Van Ark himself! Thatâs all I... [laughs] Thatâs all I need.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter Lynn! Heâs unconscious. So many tubes connected to him. The immortal! Heâs the priority prisoner, not Runner Five! [discordant piano chord, alarm blares] Damn! Can you carry Peter, Five? [implants whir] Please try not to hurt him when you unhook the tubes. Thereâs a back exit past the fume cupboards. Must lead up into the hills. Weâve got to get him out of here. Come on, Five!
~
[alarms blare in the distance]
ERNIE VAN ARK: Alright, Five. Weâre out of the immediate danger zone. These hills and gullies will give us cover, but security canât be far away. There must be guards somewhere. We need to keep moving. Howâs our patient faring? Can you hear me, Peter?
PETER LYNNE: [gasps] Cold... So cold. Oh... no, no, no! Take me back!
[cloth rustles, metal clanks]
ERNIE VAN ARK: Donât struggle, Peter, youâll hurt yourself. Here, take my coat. [rocks clatter, zombies growl] What was that? A hand reaching out of the ground right where my foot was a moment ago. Zombies! Another one. Careful, Five. That one almost got your leg. We need to get Peter out of here before they surface fully. Quickly, run!
[footsteps in gravel]
PETER LYNN: Whatâs going on? Van... Van Ark? No, you canât have me.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Keep a good hold on him, Five.
PETER LYNN: Get your metal monstrosity off me. I canât be here! Jenny needs me.
[cloth rustles, metal clanks]
ERNIE VAN ARK: You wonât be doing anything for anyone if those zombies get you. Now, where have they gone? [rocks clatter, zombies growl] Up ahead, Five, clawing their way out of the ground. They must have burrowed under us. No time to evade them, Ranger. Weâll have to take them out. Put Peter down and fire.
[implants whir, zombies splatter]
Thank you, Five. These must be a variant of our Tunisian zombies. [footsteps] Oh no, Peterâs running away! I didnât think he was well enough. Heâs in no state to fend for himself out here. We need to get after him. Come on, Five!
~
ERNIE VAN ARK: Another Old West film set, and nothing but scrubby desert all around. Peter must be hiding in there. Keep your sensors hot, Five. [devices whir] There, slumped against that stagecoach. The adrenaline must have worn off finally. Peter, please do listen to me. Weâre here to rescue you. Well... maybe that wasnât the initial intention, but itâs certainly what we intend to do now. You have to stop running away! Let Ranger Five help you.
PETER LYNNE: [laughs] Your oversize Roomba can just keep its distance! I have had enough robotic hands inserting things in me for a lifetime! There are only so many curative substances one man can take, even me!
ERNIE VAN ARK: Curative substances?
PETER LYNNE: Which one was your favorite, Ernie? The one that blistered every inch of skin on my body? Or what about the projectile vomiting? Or â or that one where all my blood vessels ruptured at once, leaving me clinically dead for a week?
ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter, these experiments, these horrible experiments, they werenât mine! I-I know what my other self did to you. Janine told me. I think it was the thing she was angriest about. But Iâm not with Valmont. I was his prisoner, too! He destroyed the only homes Iâve ever known. Red Scorpion Base, my friends from Abel. He even killed Guillemette. And she was... kind to me, in her way. I saw him bragging about it in a Rangerâs files.
PETER LYNNE: I... donât know what your game is. Maybe you are telling the truth, [laughs] I canât tell! I think I lost touch with reality several experiments ago. You need to stop your walking Tonka truck stomping around like that. If you are who you say you are, I would get going while I still can.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Not without you.
PETER LYNNE: I have to say, [laughs] Iâm surprised this latest batch is so mild. Uh, you know, Iâve had worse comedowns in abandoned warehouses in Manchester. Credit where itâs due, though, it certainly is... moreish.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Moreish? Has Valmont been injecting you with opiates? To make you dependent, I suppose.
PETER LYNNE: You know, a normal personâs first thought would have been to numb the pain.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Oh. Yes, I suppose it would.
PETER LYNNE: It doesnât. Just FYI. Numb the pain, I mean. Oh, and as-as for the dependency, bit redundant if you ask me. Not like I have much choice but to stay here. [rock rumbles and clatters] Oh, [laughs] thereâs my ride now.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Burrowing zombies, more this time! We need to move before the whole street gives way! [ground collapses] Peter, Ranger? Is everyone alright?
PETER LYNNE: Oh, yep, never better!
ERNIE VAN ARK: Fascinating! Weâve fallen into some kind of underground tunnel system.
[zombies growl]
PETER LYNNE: And weâre not the only ones.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Thereâs zombies breaking through the walls. I thought they had human hands, but theyâre actually more like huge blunt claws.
PETER LYNN: This is no time to admire monster design, Van Ark. Listen, I donât much care if you live, but assuming you do, I suggest you follow me. Iâve been here before... and I know a way out, but we need to go now.
ERNIE VAN ARK: You heard him, Five. Run!
~
PETER LYNNE: Looks like weâve lost them for now.
ERNIE VAN ARK: A chamber in the tunnels filled with Old West memorabilia. A sheriffâs hat, a gun holster, a giant cowâs skull. Wait. Not all of these are animal bones. Thatâs a human tibia with some flesh still hanging off it. It looks like itâs been... gnawed! Peter, what is this place?
PETER LYNNE: Ah, itâs just a cavern.
ERNIE VAN ARK: A cavern with claw marks on the walls that are a perfect match for those mole-like zombies and pits in the ground filled with more half-eaten corpses. I think that oneâs moving! This isnât a cavern, itâs a larder!
PETER LYNNE: I suppose you could call it that.
ERNIE VAN ARK: You brought us here deliberately! You wanted to be caught!
PETER LYNNE: Well, what was I supposed to do, trust you? Ernie Van Ark, action hero? Oh, forgive me if I donât buy that from the man who ended the world!
ERNIE VAN ARK: And you allied with him from what Iâve heard! Why am I irredeemable, but not you?
PETER LYNNE: I donât know! Uh, maybe both of us are, uh... But I canât leave. The way outâs over there. Iâm going this way, into the belly of the beast. Follow me or donât follow me. I donât care.
~
ERNIE VAN ARK: There he is, Ranger. Just standing in the center of a huge chamber surrounded by decaying, half-eaten corpses. He looks utterly without hope. Peter, please -
[intercom squeals]
BRENT VALMONT: Petey, Petey, Petey. If youâre hearing this, it means youâve tried to escape again.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Oh no.
PETER LYNNE: Donât worry, itâs a recording. I donât even rate live surveillance, apparently.
BRENT VALMONT: You remember the rules of La PrisiĂłn de la DeLuca, donât you? You stay put and let me try out my samples on you and I donât cut off Janineâs fingers one by one and make you listen to her screams. Got it? Good! Now you enjoy the zombies hospitality and Iâll have someone out to pick you up ASAP. ASAPish, anyway. Only fair to let my undead security team have a nibble after the trouble youâve given them. Oh, and uh, donât try this again! Third strike, and Janine really will be out. Ta-ra.
PETER LYNNE: Oh, I escaped once before, but the zombies caught me. Theyâve got a slow-acting strain of the virus, so they donât need to feed as ravenously as your normal zom. They just bury you in a pit and pull bits off whenever they fancy a snack. It was... Days before the extraction team arrived.
ERNIE VAN ARK: So Valmont says he has Janine, and you just... believe him?
PETER LYNNE: [laughs] What choice do I have? If thereâs any chance I can keep her safe -
ERNIE VAN ARK: No.
PETER LYNNE: What do you mean, no?
ERNIE VAN ARK: I wonât allow it. We came here to rescue a friend and thatâs exactly what weâre going to do. We can find Janine together. Runner Five, too.
PETER LYNNE: And if I donât want to come, youâll just kidnap me again, I presume.
ERNIE VAN ARK: No. If you stay, we stay, too.
PETER LYNNE: Oh great, very productive. We can all enjoy Brentâs lovely acid trips together!
ERNIE VAN ARK: Yes, except he wonât need you then, will he, if he has me? I can be his scientist and lab rat rolled into one. What do you think happens to you then? To Janine?
PETER LYNNE: You... [laughs] you wouldnât.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Donât presume to know what I would or wouldnât do, Peter Lynne! You refuse to believe Iâm on your side, so do you really want to risk Valmont getting his hands on me again? [zombies growl, rock clatters] Hundreds of burrowing zombies bursting out of every square foot of wall and ceiling. Decision time, Peter. Them or me.
PETER LYNNE: Alright, fine! That tunnel to the left, thatâs the route Valmontâs men took the last time they hauled me out of here. Itâs a safe passage to the surface. Follow me. Go, go!
~
[footsteps]
PETER LYNNE: [gasps] The surface. Weâve made it.
ERNIE VAN ARK: Keep running. These zombies tunnel at incredible speed. Weâre not out of the woods yet. [zombie growls, rock clatters] To your left, Five! Claws bursting out of the ground.
PETER LYNNE: Up ahead, a whole line of them like an undead barbed wire fence!
ERNIE VAN ARK: Weâll have to jump them, then head for the river beyond. Ready, Ranger? 1, 2, 3, jump! [implants whir, footsteps, water flows] Weâre over the river. Keep going!
PETER LYNNE: Wait! [laughs] Wait! [laughs] Theyâve stopped following us.
ERNIE VAN ARK: The river must act as a natural boundary to their territory.
PETER LYNNE: Oh God... Oh God, what was I thinking? I canât go on the lam with Van Ark! Janine...
ERNIE VAN ARK: Peter, you being locked up in that lab helps no one but Valmont. What do you think heâll do to Janine once youâve outlived your purpose, hmm?
PETER LYNNE: But when he finds out Iâve escaped -
ERNIE VAN ARK: Whoâs going to tell him, the zombies? That message was prerecorded. He doesnât know youâve escaped yet. And he doesnât expect you to actually try, not with Janine at stake. He wonât know youâre not in the zombiesâ larder until he can get a recovery team out here. That will be two weeks at the earliest based on the map Iâve constructed of Valmontâs facilities. Find her before then, and Janineâs safe.
PETER LYNNE: All right... Say I trust you on that. Whatâs next? Do you even have a plan?
ERNIE VAN ARK: That recording, do you remember hearing anything in the background?
PETER LYNNE: I donât know. Bird calls, maybe?
ERNIE VAN ARK: Several different species, if Iâm not much mistaken. And more than that. There were waves, too, crashing against rock.
PETER LYNNE: So weâre looking for a seaside location thatâs... popular with birdwatchers, or-or used to be?
ERNIE VAN ARK: Thereâs only one Valmont facility that matches those criteria. Iâve got the map here. Look, this island.
PETER LYNNE: Tabarca. Thatâs... really close. All right. Okay. I donât know what Valmontâs drugs have done to me, or... how Iâll cope without them. But I can last until we get to Janine. I can free Jenny. And then nothing else matters.
BRENT VALMONT: Alright, Five. Letâs hash this out. I really hate to show my temper, but youâve left me no choice. Are you sitting comfortably in the back of that van? Got your Valmont headset tight? Good, because I know youâll want to hear who Iâve got speaking next.
[tape recorder clicks]
SAM YAO: Five? Five, itâs me. Itâs Sam. Itâs going to be okay, Five. Everythingâs going to be alright.
[tape recorder clicks]
BRENT VALMONT: Spoiler alert: itâs not.
[tape recorder clicks]
SAM YAO: Valmont said I have to tape this message. I... I donât know how long itâs been since Tunisia. He showed me the footage of your last run to the Maghreb border. Oh, you were so fast, leaving the whole Red Scorpion Army behind! They never would have caught you... if he hadnât have been waiting in that boat. Amelia always said we shouldnât trust him. Of all the ways to find out she was right.
Valmont says heâs got a mission for you, Five. He showed me the brief. Itâs just a simple item grab. I donât have every detail, but nobodyâs about, nobody gets hurt... and what theyâll do to you if you refuse... I think you have to do it, Five. Just this once, I think you have to do his run.
[tape recorder clicks]
BRENT VALMONT: I know you miss him, Five. I can see it on your face. Those Valmont headcams work both ways! So Iâll make this really simple for you. You turned down all my other jobs. The assassination in Bolivia, the firebombing in Berlin! But this oneâs non-negotiable. Get it done within the hour or Sam loses a thumb.
[van door slides open]
Back of the trucksâ cracking open. Look at all that daylight spilling in! I know Iâve got you fighting mad, so letâs channel that rage! Down the ramp, full speed ahead, just follow the street, straight along the cobbles, under the big stone arches. Donât think of it as helping me. Think of it as saving him. Here, Iâll even let Sam play you out!
[tape recorder clicks]
SAM YAO: Itâll be okay, Five. I know it will. Remember what Janineâs always saying? When things are at their darkest, a runner strikes a match. You keep the hope. No matter what, you keep that flame alive. And promise me, the first chance you get, promise me youâll run.
~
[birds coo, wings flap]
BRENT VALMONT: Mind the pigeons, Five! But take in the sights! Italy, the Vatican, St Peterâs Square itself. Look at those grand colonnades on either side, the great Egyptian spire in the middle. Though the basilicaâs looking a bit dowdy, isnât it, the way the domeâs collapsed in? Head straight for its entrance, past the burned-out popemobile. Itâs through those great big pillars where the tourists used to queue.
Itâs been hard on landmarks, Five, the end of the world. The Eiffel Tower, Washington DC, poor old Red Square. Not exactly sitting pretty since Van Arkâs Armageddon did the renovators in. Oh, I know. I told you the apocalypse was mine. I didnât mean it literally. It was Sigridâs passion project, Van Arksâ silly plague. [sighs] He was such a stupid genius, wasnât he? Took the blame for the disease to please that humorless wife of his. Invented immortality, but he couldnât get the hang of spin.
ANNIE knew what they were planning, Five, long before it happened. I had her watching Sigrid, Van Ark, Moonchild, too. You donât become a billionaire without probing your rivals. We caught their little scheme to end the world, and yes, I could have stopped it, itâs true, but I know a bargain when I see one. The whole world on fire sale! Iâm not the one made the end, but I like to think Iâm who itâs for.
[door clatters open] This is a grand old entrance, isnât it? That distant gilded ceiling, the sunswept marble floor. All those saintly statues watching with white eyes. [building creaks] Careful! Sidestep to your left. The ceiling isnât stable. Some of itâs coming down.
You, me, mortal peril! Itâs just like the old times, eh? Admit it, I was quite the charmer, running with your Abel crew. You were all so wonderfully obliging. I always needed Sigrid gone, and V-types can be a pain, but I never lied about it being a good time, Five. As far as handy decoys go, your lot were the best.
See that body, beneath the fallen pillar? Thatâs Valmont Runner Sixty-Four. Last one in before you. I warned her that this mission was a risk, but still, she volunteered! Itâs amazing, the loyalty people give you in a post-apocalyptic world. So much for so little. You dig them out of burning rubble, offer them beans and a bed, and suddenly their life is yours. I used to run orphanages on the same principle. Shame my finest runnerâs busy on assignment. Sheâd have at least survived the masonry, unlike poor old Sixty-Four.
I know what youâre thinking, Five. How many have gone in ahead of you? Oh, Iâve lost count! Thereâs something I need in that city, something hard to find, but youâve got an advantage. Youâve seen it before. We just need to be careful, with all that panacea in your blood. My doctors have been draining what, a pint of plasma at a time over the last few months? Thatâs plenty of samples. Your bodyâs a little panacea factory now, thanks to that injection you stole! But weâve got big ambitions. Things will go much smoother if they can harvest a whole lot more!
[building creaks] Better get a move on, Five! That building really doesnât like my people. The ceiling almost sounds upset! Turn right at the papal altar, take the tour guide passage to the Sistine Chapel. And ignore the fallen runners up ahead. Thereâs no point dwelling on them, Five. Thereâs no profit counting the dead.
~
BRENT VALMONT: Look up at the ceiling, Five! Soak that culture in. The Sistine Chapel, Michelangeloâs masterpiece! All those gorgeous frescoes painted on the walls. Saints, sinners, serpents. And Adam, on the ceiling, about to high five God! [sighs] I was planning to steal this, but ANNIE says it wouldnât survive the airlift. [sighs] Follow the frescoes down the corridor, the one with all the maps. Try to find an open window. You need to get outside.
Moonchild used to say my collections were âbad karma,â that it was wrong to try to cage the world. This, from Lady Mind Control. She reminded me of my mother, Five. Ghastly, hippy-drippy woman. Stole my fatherâs fortune, frittered it on âcharity.â Said the world was full of wonders, but not a single one was ours! A thingâs not beautiful until you own it, thatâs the dirty, ugly truth. Knowing something might be taken is a spoiling blemish. I used to tell Amelia that. Maybe when I take her world, sheâll learn.
Itâs hard to find people who understand, Five. I wake up every morning with this screaming hunger in my heart, the torture of ambition. No matter what I have, no matter who I own, I know I can do better. Itâs like an engine in my belly. I know I can own more!
There, an open window. Climb out to the courtyard, quick! Have you heard much lately from that Moonchild in your head? I bet you havenât. Maybe my panacea killed her. Maybe sheâs finally dead. The Cortile del Belvedere A pope once paraded his elephant here. Thatâs my kind of style! Just parked cars and a broken fountain now. See that big beige building over there? Thatâs the Vatican library with the Apostolic Archives next door. Those archives hold the secret storeroom of the Catholic church, and what we wantâs inside.
[laughs] I know what youâre hoping, Legs. You think my wife will come and save you, Amelia and the rest. But the truth is, theyâre not even in the game. Iâve got decoys with your shirt on from Peru to Paraguay, corpses with your DNA slung into shallow graves. Iâve got moles in the Maghreb, spies in the UK. Iâve got Amelia spun in circles, always looking the wrong way.
Sigrid, Van Ark, Moonchild, they were all small fry. Couldnât even keep their Armageddon to a timetable. ANNIE didnât expect their gray plague to get loose so soon. I wasnât quite ready to put the Ministry straight down. But I was miles ahead in stockpiling, and Iâve had eons to prep since. I knocked down half the satellites, razed the global village. No more cheap communications, no calling distant ears for help. The market should be nice and manageable, survivors stuck in isolated pockets. Iâve got bases like Red Scorpion all over the world, allies in armies youâve never heard. I know what happened to the last aircraft carrier, why zombies scream on roads. I am a one-man superpower. Your friends donât have a chance!
Uh-oh! Zombie priests crawling out of the cars, and those look like Swiss Guards lurching from the buildings, the elite protectors of the Vatican with feathered caps and halberds high. Well, that oneâs got halberd sticking through his chest, but what can you expect from zoms? Theyâre closing in behind you, still guarding the library even in death. Thereâs a car crashed through the archive wall. Thatâs your way inside. Get into that building, then down to the basement. Do not let them catch you! Go!
~
BRENT VALMONT: Thatâs it, Five. Keep going straight. They call this part of the archive the Bunker, where the most precious texts are kept. Frankly, Iâm disappointed. I expected flaming torches, spotlights, demons dancing around the Holy Grail, not just endless dusty bookshelves. [zombie growls] Careful, there are zombies crushed together between some of those shelves. Stay clear of the books. Their arms are clawing out between them.
Do you know what the worst part of this church is, Five? Itâs that it isnât dead. Thereâs a whole new pope in Istanbul readying teams to nab these treasures, and theyâre not the only holdouts. There are still rabbis, and imams, Buddhist monks, Mormons, Quakers, Sikhs. People who believe in gods, or hope, or just each other, joining hands to cope. Little groups like Abel brightening the dark.
It makes me so damn angry! Itâs... not the apocalypse I bought! I wanted Mad Max, the Walking Dead, the first bit of The Road! Ruins, misery, hopeless dread, and Iâd swoop in with my hoarded cans and lift the peons up, have them rebuild in my image, grateful for the helping hand. ANNIE predicted overwhelming collapse, once the dust settled. You were supposed to get nuked offing Sigrids or implode like Sage. Those Last Riders had the right idea, until they turned V-type. But no, you had to flourish, didnât you? All over the world. The groups that defy the odds. The Maghreb, Arcadia, Abel, Vashisht. That galling, glowing 1% like aniseed in the stew!
There, see that staircase behind the red cordon with a vault door in the bottom? Thatâs the hidden heart of this bunker. A room thatâs not on any maps. If there were demons locked away, thatâs where theyâd be. Itâs time for the big drum roll, Five. The reveal of why youâre here. Remember your trip to Moore Island, the [red god] and the cult? Amelia never let me read the Edda, but the church has another copy hidden in their vault. Moonchild stole a partial transcript before they upped security. My runners donât know what it looks like, but youâve seen it before.
[zombies moan] Damn! Coming up the stairs, are those - red robes and pointy hats. Oh no, lots of zombie cardinals, and theyâre in your way. The others are closing in behind you, too. Swiss Guards, priests, tourists in backpacks. Thereâs no going back. Forward is your only shot. Those are halberds lying on the floor. The guards must have made a stand here. Quickly, pick one up. [metal clinks] Youâre going to have to rush them straight down to the vault. I can hack the door with ANNIE. That blade looks blunt, but you can at least push them back. Move it, Five, get down the stairs! Not sure what a zombie bite will do with all those Valmont patents in your blood. Donât let the cardinals grab you. Run!
~
[door clatters open]
BRENT VALMONT: Now this is more like it! Big, oblong chamber full of sealed glass cases. Ancient scrolls, mysterious parchments. No sign of the Holy Grail, but I bet itâs around here somewhere. Find my Edda, Five. You donât have much time.
[alarm blares]
This room is pumped full of an inert gas to preserve the relics. We donât have the proper codes. I canât hold it open long. See those dead runners on the floor? They all thought theyâd find my prize, and they all died choking anyway. Funny thing, Five. None of them blamed me. Now thatâs lasting ownership, the kind that leaves them dying but still feeling the love.
Aha, youâve spotted something. The big tome on the plinth. Smash the casing and grab it! Use that halberd, now! [glass breaks, alarm beeps, zombies growl] Those zoms are pouring in behind you, theyâre blocking the way out. Thereâs another vault door straight ahead, right across the archive. Move it, Five, and hold the Edda tight! If you die of oxygen deprivation, Samâs the one Iâm sending in there next. Speed up, before the door snaps shut. Run!
~
[birds caw, wings flap]
BRENT VALMONT: You did it, Legs! Youâre clear of the archive and clear of the Vatican, footloose on the streets of Rome. And youâve got my Edda. Oh, I know what youâre thinking. Yes, you could destroy it, tear it up and run, but what would happen to poor Sam, and Janine, and Peter, too? Thatâs right.
[engine rumbles] My truckâs approaching. Drop the halberd, get inside. [metal clinks, van door slides open] There you go, Five. Straight into the back. Iâll see you get a raise for this. That means extra cushions in your cell!
The apocalypse hasnât gone as planned, itâs true. But Iâve had a fix brewing for years. You pushed up my timeline with that scramble through Tunisia. I was worried we might not pull it off, but now Iâve got the panacea and the Edda. Iâm all set for the apocalypse, take two.
The panacea, Five, thatâs my little joke. You see, it is a cure, of sorts. The cure for all my ills. Soon, I wonât have any rivals. The whole world will be my orphanage. Amelia, Abel, and the rest, theyâll be swept away, or transformed, replaced by broken, helpless, loving people. Like Adam on the ceiling, Five. Theyâll all be looking up... to me.
I am currently in the process of both a) undertaking a long road trip and b) moving across the country, so unfortunately I will not be able to transcribe the new season 10 episodes until I arrive at my destination.
I will get the blog caught up and then stay current starting in August. Iâm very sorry for this inconvenience!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: âIn the glare of the day, there is little poetry about Venice. But under the charitable moon, her stained palaces are white again.â I see now that Mark Twain was quite correct. A moonlit gondola ride across the Venice Lagoon has always been a dream of mine. My wife and I booked tickets only two months before the gray apocalypse. We never took that trip.
FRANCES DEMPSY: [gasps] Quinzi, stop rowing! I can hear a patrol boat.
[boat motor rumbles]
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I believe we remain unobserved. Quinzi, you may resume your labor at the oar. Weâre close now. I see the [?] of the Grand Canal.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: We got through because theyâre looking in, not out. Theyâre only worried about stopping people leaving. They donât think anyone would be mental enough to try to sneak into a plague city.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Indeed. Weâre most lucky.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Is luck the right word?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Fortuna has favored us in one regard, at least. After months of fruitless searching, we have a lead to Runner Fiveâs location at last. And with Quinzi as our local guide, our visit should be brief.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I wish we could do it all by gondola. People said theyâve got the zombie situation in Venice under control, but that could mean anything. And do we even know what this plague is?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Only that itâs almost invariably fatal. But the aquatic route isnât possible, Iâm afraid. In days past, the canals of Venice were home to a profusion rats. Today, itâs the restless dead who clog the waters.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: There, Quinzi. Thereâs a dock at the base of the stairs. [gondola bumps against dock, canal water splashes] Throw me the rope!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Careful! Frances, Quinzi, the steps are slimed with weed.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Donât worry, I never slip. Alice always said I was like a goat. At least, I think thatâs what she meant. She might have just been telling me I needed deodorant.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Lead the way, Quinzi. The one we seek is at the far end of the canal. The mysterious Raven nests in the Giardini Reali, the Royal Gardens. Weâre in Venice, a plague city ruled by unknown powers. I believe we should make haste.
~
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: This place is labyrinthine. Weâd be lost without the map your band of thieves supplied, Quinzi.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: You call yourself the Magpies, right, Quin? Why does everyone in Venice name themselves after birds? And how do we know we can trust this Raven person? The message came through like, five different people before it reached us, and no one even agrees who the Raven is.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Indeed. A shoe seller in Istanbul was quite certain the Raven is a man of indeterminate but enormous age. An immortal, older than the city of Venice itself. A [?] assassin described a girl of twelve, a killer like himself, the most deadly of them all.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Thatâs not ominous.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: They say the plague began with the Raven. Its first victim appeared the day after the arrival of that ill-omened bird. Of course, people have always blamed outsiders for their misfortune. And Venice has a shameful history in that regard. Did you know that the word ghetto had its origins here? It was the area of the city the government forced its Jewish inhabitants to live.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Yeah, we did the Merchant of Venice in school. Antonio was a dick.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: My feelings entirely. And I can tell by your face, Quinzi, that you feel the same.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I donât like it here. Thereâs something... wrong with this place.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Itâs sinking. The waters always clamored to reclaim it, and the apocalypse has hastened the process.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Itâs more than that. Itâs the way the paintâs all flaking off the walls. The buildings are beautiful, but the stoneworkâs crumbling. It looks, I donât know, decaying? Like it died a long time ago.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: But someone yet lives here. Two factions patrol the streets of Venice, keeping an uneasy peace, one by day and one by night. Neither is our friend. The Raven advised us to travel in that liminal time when powers change hands and Venice has no true master. Our window of opportunity is brief.
FRANCES DEMSPEY: You know the route the Raven sent us, donât you, Quinzi? Letâs run.
~
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Oh, weâre back at the Grand Canal. Iâve got totally turned around. I think I can see... Up ahead, that covered bridge. Is that...?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Rialto. It houses stone shops within its arches. Venice was a city built on commerce, and so it remains. Trade is the lifeblood of this place and the reason so many still make their home here.
FRANCES DEMSPEY: But whoâs in charge? You said two factions.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: They are but parasites on the body politic! The gondoliers and their poisons roam during the day, while the Mala del Brenta patrol at night. Once, the Mala were a mere mafia. Now theyâre said to traffic in far worse than drugs. But as for who rules? Venice has changed hands a dozen times since the apocalypse. Rumors are the King of Zagreb ran it at one time. The French warlord Jacques Le Renard claimed dominion for a year and two days. Now? Perhaps the city belongs only to itself.
GONDOLIER: Knives for sale, [?]. Knives, knives for sale!
FRANCES DEMSPEY: The gondola! I guess the changeover hasnât happened yet. Quick, under this bridge. Hide in the shadows.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There are three women in that boat. One to row, one to cry their wares, the third has a knife! Sheâs using it to sever the hands.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: The hands!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Grasping for the boat out of the water. Bloated and white in death, the flesh half-peeled away. The dead seeking company in their watery grave.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Glad we didnât try to row in. Look, the boatâs tying up. Theyâre getting out.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The time of the gondoliers draws to a close, and the hour of the Mala approaches. We must hurry!
~
FRANCES DEMPSY: Itâs so silent. I know there are people living here. Up there, see? Eyes watching us from the window. But thereâs no one on the streets.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Weâve traveled broadly, you and I, in our quest for Five. A sighting in Budapest that was nothing but smoke and mirrors. A trail running through the warring cantons of the Alps. Helpless people pulled from danger by a nameless benefactor. No trace of them remained. Weâve visited pirate archipelagos and a warlordâs palace, but Venice is more dangerous than all of them.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I heard Amelia the last time you spoke to her. She sounded really worried, for Amelia. Actually, not even just for Amelia.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Sheâs followed many fruitless leads in the search for Five, made many painful deals for information that proved of little value.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Weâve all tried so hard for nothing. If we need to take risks to finally get an answer, I donât care. Itâs worth it. [flies buzz] Ugh, thatâs horrible! Quinzi, watch out. Thereâs a pile of corpses in the middle of the road. Theyâve just been... thrown there, like chucking out the rubbish!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Only recently deceased. Their skin is covered in lumps, buboes.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Buboes? Like... Bubonic plague?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: More yellow in color, with a curious purple marking in their center. Itâs almost like a letter.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Donât get too close. Could infect you. [distant shout] Where did that come from?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: One of the arms in that pile of corpses is twitching. A leg is kicking out.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Are they zombies, or... God. People just left them here to die?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: We cannot stay to find the answer. Quinzi, lead on!
~
[bell rings]
BELL RINGER: Portate fuori i vostri morti!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The bell-ringer and his companions are entering a crumbling palazzo, no doubt to collect the bodies of more unfortunates. From the charnel smell, I believe thatâs their wagon up ahead.
FRANCES DEMSPEY: Ugh, itâs full of decapitated heads. Theyâre still alive! I mean, dead-alive. Their teeth are snapping.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Lacking their spines, they shouldnât be capable of movement.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: V-types do that, though. You have to disassemble them into basically atoms before they stop moving. But there shouldnât be any V-types outside the UK.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Perhaps the plague creates them.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Thatâs... Thatâs a really bad thought. I can see people on the other side of the canal. I think theyâre having dinner. Thereâs a white tablecloth and candles and everything. Who does that on the side of a canal full of corpses?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Italians.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Itâs my fault, you know. Five being missing, everyone being captured. Itâs all my fault.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I hardly think thatâs true.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: They told me not to come. They never wanted me on the mission to Tunisia. They knew Iâd be a liability, but I wanted to be part of the team. [sighs] I wanted to be as valuable to them as Alice was. And because I was there, it all went wrong! Iâm a jinx.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I believe in many things, Frances. I believe our spirit survives us after our death, and that a higher power guides the turning of the ages. But I will never believe that an innocent young woman, acting from love and with courage, is responsible for so much ill luck. No. There is some other force working against us, some malevolence that hasnât yet shown its face.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: What if it is the Raven?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Then weâve made a very serious mistake. Alas, we have no choice but to see it to its end. There, do you see? On the balcony of that half-destroyed house, figure in feathered carnival masks watching us. They are the Mala. Weâre on their territory, uninvited. If they catch us, they will kill us.
~
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I can hear them following us, but I canât see them. [distant shouts] Oh God, whatâs that?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Malaâs hunting call, or...
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Or what?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Another variant of the undead, perhaps unique to these shores. Who knows what strange and terrible forms the virus may have taken in such a place as this?
FRANCES DEMSPEY: I can smell them, I think. Itâs not like normal zom smell. Itâs almost... Sweet?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: There are many mysteries to unravel here. Our challenge is to live to unravel them.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: What are you even doing here, Mo? You could have put me on a boat back to England and gone home to your wife. This isnât your fight.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I made a promise to Miss Spens that Iâd see her people safe. My word is my bond. No true currency remains in this world except that.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Youâre a good man, Mo.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: One could ask for no higher praise!
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Look, over there, past the narrow marble bridge. Is that someone wearing a bird mask? The Raven, it must be!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: A plague doctorâs mask, of course!
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Theyâre pointing left. What does it mean?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Ah! Ah, a narrow alley between buildings, hidden in shadow. We would have run straight past it! I believe the Raven means for us to take it!
FRANCES DEMPSEY: What if itâs a trap? What if it leads us straight to the Mala? Maybe that was the whole point of bringing us here.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: We have quite literally no other option. Follow our masked friendâs directions. Quinzi, run!
~
FRANCES DEMPSEY: There, at the end of the street. The person in the plague mask, the Raven. Theyâre waiting for us the other side of the bridge. Theyâre beckoning. But weâve got the Mala or the zombies or whatever they are right behind us.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Ah, no! I understand now. The bridge is wooden, do you see? And there is some sort of mechanism. I believe itâs a drawbridge. We merely have to make it across and our safety is ensured. It appears the Raven was indeed attempting to aid us. Itâs a balm to the soul to find such an honor in this fallen world.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Come on, Quinzi! Last burst of speed. We did it! Weâre safe.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Not until we raise the drawbridge. Quinzi, you could take the other side.
[drawbridge mechanism clanks]
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Thatâs creepy. The sound just... Stopped. Are they really gone?
THE RAVEN: The huntâs over. They wonât bother me here. We have, uh... An understanding.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Is that...? No, it canât be!
THE RAVEN: Oh, let me take this damn thing off. Oh, I can hardly breathe up here! [sighs] Itâs so good to see you, Frances!
FRANCES DEMPSEY: Maxine!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Our missing doctor. We have come here in search of one lost companion, and found quite another.
FRANCES DEMPSEY: How did you get here, and what are you doing? Do you really know where Five is? Do you know how to rescue the others?
MAXINE MYERS: One question at a time, please! I donât know it all, Frances, but I have found out a few things. Venice may be a hellhole, but a lot of information finds its way here. There is so much for me to tell you, and so much for us to do.
Season 10, Mission 2: Empty Chairs at Empty Tables
Wild Goose Chase
~
AMELIA SPENS: What do you mean, Red Scorpion is gone? Well, satellite images arenât good enough! I need minions on-site telling me whatâs going on. Yes, it certainly would make sense to use Mr. Boujettif, except for the very small problem that heâs on an entirely different continent, which you would know if you read the morning briefing documents. I donât care that theyâre 50 pages long, Paul. Thatâs the job. And while weâre at it, my breakfast MoĂŤt was lukewarm this morning. Yesterday, it was Prosecco. I didnât become PM to drink second-rate champagne knock-offs. Right, Jody.
JODY MARSH: Nice of you to join us, Amelia. Sorry if weâre interrupting your very important call. You know, by turning up to the rendezvous with New Canton Five you arranged. Also, why did it have to be Canton Five? No offense, Five. Itâs just dead weird running with a different Five when the real Fiveâs missing. I mean, youâre not even the original Canton Five.
AMELIA SPENS: Excuse me for thinking you might find it comforting. This Fiveâs nauseatingly heroic too, if that helps. Also, I do so enjoy watching you froth with anger, Jody. Itâs very stimulating.
PAULA COHEN: Whatâs going on, Amelia? You said itâs to do with our missing people. Is there some news about Maxine?
AMELIA SPENS: Not precisely.
PAULA COHEN: Oh. I thought... I thought Iâd have something to tell Sara. Sheâs been having nightmares. Are you even looking for them? Or have you just written them all off?
AMELIA SPENS: Of course I havenât. If Janine and the real Five were here, I wouldnât have to rely on idiots like Paul to run my security service. I was hoping to appoint Sam as head of AmeliaCom, and there are some very interesting experiments I want to run on Peter. Frances, I could leave or take, if Iâm honest. But in point of fact, I do have news. Not about Five, who remains frustratingly elusive. But two weeks ago, the Maghreb Protectorate offered to send us a message from their âhonored guests.â
PAULA COHEN: Two weeks ago? And you didnât tell us?
AMELIA SPENS: I donât trust the Maghreb. Not since they got it into their heads that we stole this panacea from Red Scorpion Base. Iâm not convinced the Maghreb didnât steal it themselves and blame us. I needed to be sure the offer wasnât some sort of trap.
JODY MARSH: And?
AMELIA SPENS: Weâll see, wonât we? Theyâve arranged for someone to meet us at the duck pond in Barton in... Goodness, five minutes. I have been gabbing on, havenât I? Chop chop, Canton Five. Show them the way.
~
JODY MARSH: Weâve reached the duck pond, but thereâs no one here. I mean, apart from a few mallards.
AMELIA SPENS: Well, that is disappointing. I had to reschedule my hot stone massage for this.
PAULA COHEN: No wait, whatâs that floating in the center of the pond? It looks like a document case. Canton Five, can you reach? [water splashes, case clicks] Oh, itâs just a scribbled note. [paper rustles] It says, âGo to the statue of Thomas Gainsborough in Marfield Lestone. Await further instructions.â Amelia, are you playing games with us? Because if you are, itâs terribly cruel.
AMELIA SPENS: Someoneâs playing games, but itâs not me. I wasnât going to mention it, but a V-typeâs been spotted near Marfield. Terrible nuisance. The whole areaâs evacuated, and my anti-gray berets are tied up dealing with a minor hoard in Chiswick. I did think I had the undead situation in hand. It was the one campaign promise of mine that I actually intended to keep, but thereâs been a positive profusion of outbreaks recently. [sighs] I suppose weâd better give this outing up as a bad job.
JODY MARSH: No way.
PAULA COHEN: Absolutely not.
AMELIA SPENS: I canât guarantee your safety if you carry on. Well, I suppose I could if I really wanted to make the effort, but I donât.
JODY MARSH: [scoffs] Stuff being safe! This is the only sniff of a clue weâve had since all our friends went missing. Iâm not giving up.
PAULA COHEN: Marfield is east of here. Come on!
~
PAULA COHEN: I can see Marfield on the brow of the next hill. Lots of little Elizabethan cottages and a half-built McShell lane.
AMELIA SPENS: Therefore useless. Iâve ordered a squadron of my anti-gray berets to head your way, but it will take them at least 15 minutes. Honestly, do you have any idea the havoc you two have wreaked on my schedule today? Now Iâm Prime Minister, my day has to be timetabled to the second. Iâm not enjoying it at all!
JODY MARSH: You wanted the job, Amelia. Deal with it.
AMELIA SPENS: Admit it, Jody. Iâm the best PM this country has ever seen. And the rest of them didnât have to deal with the shambling undead outside of their own cabinets.
PAULA COHEN: Thereâs no sign of that V-type.
JODY MARSH: No sign of anything. Itâs weird to see it all so empty. Corn ripe in the fields but not a single person. Iâd sort of forgotten what it was like before the cure.
AMELIA SPENS: And before I reestablished order and a semblance of normality.
JODY MARSH: Yeah, it was definitely all you, Amelia. I used to do airdrop pickups around here. The road was cracked, grass growing up through. There was a cherry tree right in the middle. Now itâs all paved over again. Back then, it felt like nature had had enough of us. Game over, next playerâs turn. Time to hand it all back to the foxes. It used to feel like we were an endangered species.
PAULA COHEN: We were an endangered species! And we still would be if it werenât for Maxine. Veronicaâs research was all built on hers. Without her, thereâd be no cure! Iâd still be... Without her, I wouldnât be here. I wouldnât want to be.
AMELIA SPENS: Please donât cry, youâre not one of those people who can do it attractively! And what happened to that trademark Abel sunny optimism in the face of insurmountable odds?
PAULA COHEN: It disappeared with all our friends! Fiveâs just gone. We think the Maghreb are holding the rest prisoner. Veronicaâs been hunting for traces of her other self, but all sheâs found are bits of code and rumors of a brain in a suitcase. We know Maxie went to help the Maghreb with a measles outbreak. Apart from that, what do we really know? Just reports of a burn cube explosion, right back when they first went missing. Peter had a burn cube inside him. What was that?
JODY MARSH: Probably just the wind. But maybe we should pick up the pace. Not much further to Marfield.
~
JODY MARSH: Weâre here. Marfield Town Square. Looks like they got evacuated right in the middle of a market day. This stinks of decaying cabbage and spoiled meat. [gags] The butcher storeâs buzzing with flies.
PAULA COHEN: Hereâs the statue of Thomas Gainsborough. Oh my God. Do you see that, Five? On the pedestal, itâs a tape recorder. A proper old-fashioned tape recorder with a tape in it! Jody, do you think this could... Could this really be a message from them?
JODY MARSH: Itâs got to be, hasnât it? What would be the point otherwise? Well, go on, then. Play it. The suspense is killing me.
PAULA COHEN: I know... I know. Iâm sorry, I just... What if itâs not? Okay. Okay, here goes. Five, my hands are shaking. Can you figure out how to get this thing to play?
JANINE DE LUCA: Well, what exactly would you like us to say?
JODY MARSH: Oh my God.
PETER LYNNE: It doesnât matter what you say. Itâs proof of life, Janine. I mean, proof of how great our life is and how well weâre being looked after.
JANINE DE LUCA: Donât be absurd, Mr. Lynne. Proof of life only works if itâs a live broadcast. They could record this and then kill us. Doesnât mean anything.
PETER LYNNE: I think it might be nice for our friends to have some reassurance, Jenny.
JANINE DE LUCA: Well, yes. We really are... Weâre perfectly fine. Itâll take more than this to break us.
DISTORTED VOICE: I think thatâs enough for now.
AMELIA SPENS: You need to stop the tape right now.
PAULA COHEN: There could be more messages. We havenât heard Maxine yet.
AMELIA SPENS: Quiet, for goodness sake! Thereâs movement on the monitor, doodahs. [sighs] Itâs keeping to the shadows, but itâs very fast and itâs definitely heading in your direction. I hate to be all doom and gloom, but itâs probably our V-type. I donât suppose you fancy acting as bait to lure it away, do you, Jody?
PAULA COHEN: Weâre not risking losing anyone else.
AMELIA SPENS: [sighs] Why do I even bother asking? Then youâd better head east towards that ghastly industrial estate. And donât dawdle!
~
JODY MARSH: Anything on your cameras, Amelia?
AMELIA SPENS: Not a sausage.
JODY MARSH: I canât see anything. Can you, Five? Itâs dead quiet. Just lots of half-demolished warehouses. But I can feel it. All the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up.
AMELIA SPENS: It seems to be hiding from the cameras, which it should be far too stupid to do. [sighs] I thought Paul was being hysterical when he started blathering on about signs of increased intelligence in solitary V-types. I suppose I should apologize to him. I wonât, obviously.
PAULA COHEN: Five, play the tape.
AMELIA SPENS: I really donât think you should -
PAULA COHEN: Iâm not waiting any longer. I canât.
SAM YAO: I really donât see why I should help you. Oh, are you already recording? Now thatâs not fair! I said I wouldnât cooperate. No, youâre not doing it to be nice. Youâre trying to freak my friends out or-or manipulate them or something, and Iâm not going to help you. Guys, no one knows where Five is, but we think they -
JODY MARSH: Stupid Sam. Always worrying about other people when he should be worrying about himself.
PAULA COHEN: Thereâs still... Thereâs nothing from Maxine.
JODY MARSH: Maybe itâs further on.
PAULA COHEN: Thatâs it. Thatâs the end of the tape.
AMELIA SPENS: Emote about it while you move. I finally got a clear and frankly stomach-turning look at your pursuer. Itâs missing a head and still very much ambulatory, so call me an old worrywart, but I think itâs a V-type. I was really hoping we could avoid this, but thereâs a place to the north where you can evade it. Just go on, then. Run!
~
[zombie growls]
JODY MARSH: Oh God, itâs nearly on us!
AMELIA SPENS: Just as well good old Ameliaâs led you to safety. On your left, the side door to Marfield Storage. Five, enter 2574 on the keypad.
PAULA COHEN: I donât understand. Why wasnât there a message from Maxine? She was there. We know she was there.
AMELIA SPENS: Thereâs another exit at the far side of the complex. It should take you well clear of the V-type.
PAULA COHEN: Does it mean they donât have Maxie, or does it mean they... they had Maxie and now they donât?
JODY MARSH: There was nothing from Five, either. This was probably just like, a teaser trailer, something to get us interested.
PAULA COHEN: Yeah, no. [laughs] Yeah, youâre right. Why would they hurt Maxie and not the others? Except for the fact that sheâs a doctor, and thereâs this sudden outbreak of new diseases and maybe she knows something about it they donât want her to know!
JODY MARSH: My nan always said donât borrow trouble, youâll get enough for free. And we think Van Arkâs got something to do with it, right? I mean, we got a message saying he wasnât the real Van Ark, but that could have been faked. Van Ark wouldnât kill Maxine. Heâd use her. You know that.
PAULA COHEN: Yes, I know that very well.
JODY MARSH: Amelia, what is this place? I mean, itâs one of Sigridâs secret bases, obviously. Itâs all pastel walls and surveillance cameras and posters of her on every wall. Iâd forgotten how smug she always looked. But why did you have the passkey, and why were all the lights on when we came in, like someoneâs been here recently?
PAULA COHEN: I can see the labs through the glass doors. Some of the equipment looks like itâs running. The sign about this one says, âBioweapons, alpha access only.â [door knob rattles] Itâs locked.
AMELIA SPENS: I would like to explain, but Iâm afraid the V-typeâs found a way in.
JODY MARSH: Oh, bollocks. You just donât want us to look around.
[zombie roars]
AMELIA SPENS: I might be lying. I could have recorded that sound and saved it for a rainy day. Or maybe youâre being hunted by a virtually unkillable zombie. Up to you, of course. You could keep trying more locked doors, or you could run!
~
[door creaks open and shut]
JODY MARSH: Weâre out of the base. No sign of the V-type, if it was ever there.
AMELIA SPENS: No need to worry your pretty head about it any longer, Jody. My anti-gray berets have arrived.
PAULA COHEN: I can see them rappelling out of the helicopter. Rappelling... Is that the word?
AMELIA SPENS: Yes, they certainly made good time.
JODY MARSH: You donât sound very pleased. I thought you were a big fan of efficiency.
AMELIA SPENS: It may shock you to learn I used to carry out a heist or two?
PAULA COHEN: No, not really.
AMELIA SPENS: Before every escapade, Iâd send my crew to carry out a minor break-in, making absolutely sure to trip the alarm. Can you guess why?
JODY MARSH: I donât care.
AMELIA SPENS: It was to test police response times. Terribly clever of me, really. Create a problem, and then see how the opposition goes about solving it. It teaches you an awful lot about them.
PAULA COHEN: You think thatâs what this was about? A way for the Maghreb to test our V-type defenses?
AMELIA SPENS: Or to discover the location of a place Iâd rather have kept under wraps for a while. And what have we really gained today? I suppose it was nice for you to hear your friendsâ voices, although personally Iâve always found Peterâs rather grating. But Maxine is missing, weâre no closer to finding Five, and our opponents, whoever they truly are, have learned a great deal about us.
SLAVA: Red Scorpion Base just on the horizon. See it now, Ranger Five? And all around it, rolling dunes, a few isolated caravans winding their way between oases. Must have looked the same a thousand years ago. Youâd hardly know the zombie apocalypse happened. [chuckles] Mind you, briefing said the zoms hide beneath the sands in these parts. Useful adaption. Mr. Valmont says, âWe have to change with the times or die.â
RANGER SEVEN: Correction. Zombies are already dead.
SLAVA: [laughs] Good one, Ranger Seven! Oh wait, you werenât joking. Not in the programming, right? Closer now. Can you see the smoke? Thatâs courtesy of Abel Township.
RANGER SEVEN: Abel Township. Designation: enemy settlement. Action plan: eradicate.
SLAVA: Give that supersoldier a cigar! But thatâs a problem for future us. [rocket launches, alarm blares] Rocker launch on our three! Evasive maneuvers! [rocket zooms past] Nice piloting, Five! Best put us down here, outside the perimeter. Donât want anyone else taking a pot shot.
[chuckles] Mind you, I donât think that rocket was aimed at us. Looks like thereâs a firefight going on inside Red Scorpion. Lucky Iâve got two strapping soldiers to guard me. Mr. Valmont said youâd been a bit glitchy lately, but youâre the only two in fighting condition. âAlways make the best of what youâve got, Slava!â Thatâs what Mr. Valmont told me.
Touchdown. Out of the bird, both of you. Better get moving. [door opens] This mission is time critical. [zombies groan] Also, looks like weâve woken up a few of those burrowing zoms. More than a few. Remember the brief: find and eliminate Ernie Van Ark. Now run!
~
SLAVA: Weâve outpaced the zoms. Got to say, you guys are quick on your feet. Not exactly been dazzling me with your witty repartee. But then, Mr. Valmont told me he took your voice box out, Five. Guess thereâs not much point talking when all youâre saying is, âYes sir, no sir.â Ranger Five, take point. Seven, guard our rear.
RANGER SEVEN: Yes, sir.
SLAVA: Iâve got to be honest, you guys give me the creeps. Donât get me wrong, almost unkillable cyborg soldiers definitely a mission asset. Youâve got to respect a trooper with built-in ordinance. But your eyes... Oy. You always look like youâre screaming on the inside!
SLAVA: [chuckles] Or happiness, or sadness. Or that feeling when you get when youâre too full, but youâre going to eat the last chocolate anyway. You know what I mean? What am I saying, or course not. I heard it was quite the technical challenge making it so you donât care about anything.
Me, I came that way out the box. A 93 on the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale. Took that test when I was seven. Bet youâre wondering why they gave a seven-year-old psychopathy tests, arenât you?
RANGER SEVEN: No, sir.
SLAVA: Hm. Well, it was Mr. Valmont. He funded a string of orphanages across the old Eastern Block. âCharity has its place.â Thatâs what he says. âAnd that place is when itâs benefiting me.â He arranged for the orphanages to give all the kids the Levenson test, and the real high achievers like me got taken out and put into special schools, Valmont Academies. Mr. Valmontâs been training me for a long time. Thatâs why Iâm the best at what I do.
RANGER SEVEN: Ranger Five has reached the perimeter wall.
SLAVA: If Mr. Valmont wants one for the tip box, maybe give the next batch of supersoldiers a bit more get up and go. Nicely done, Five. Youâre through! Weâre heading for Control Alpha. Thatâs the blocky concrete monstrosity at the back. But we need to keep our heads down. Mr. Valmontâs been cleaning up shop. And by cleaning up, I mean shooting, and by shop, I mean all the base personnel.
[zombies groan]
Damn it! Zoms are catching up, and theyâve brought some friends. I guess the noise drew them. And now weâve given them a way into the base. Oh well. Should help the other crews with the cleanup, but weâd better run.
~
SLAVA: No hostile contact yet. Lots of broken glass. Remains of a solar panel field, Iâd say. Looks like old damage. Mr. Valmont told me those Abel Township people did a number on the place. Ranger Five, clear us a path to the entrance.
[glass clatters]
Guess you guys are wondering why Ernieâs a target. Wondered the same thing myself. I know how much effort Mr. Valmont put into creating him. But he said to me, âI had such high hopes. The original Van Ark was so bracingly immoral! But remakes are always a disappointment, arenât they, Slava? Ernieâs the Wicker Man of evil masterminds.â
Remake! [laughs] Mr. Valmont got a way with words, hasnât he? When I was a kid, I used to write down everything he said to me. Had a secret journal for it. Hid it under my bed. They didnât like you keeping anything private in the Valmont Academies, but I wanted to remember it all! He only came to visit us at Christmas and Easter, spent a little time talking to everyone. Highlight of my year.
RANGER SEVEN: The path to the door is clear.
SLAVA: I can see that. Five, override the security lock on the door, would you? Looks like someoneâs tried to disable it from the inside. [electronics whir] See the corpses, Seven? One to the chest, one to the head. Classic double tap. Mr. Valmont sent in a few kill teams before us. People here knew too much about his plans.
Thatâs the trouble with new hires. Theyâre never completely loyal, not like me. Canât trust them not to blab. âItâs not a secret when three know it.â [laughs] Thatâs not Mr. Valmont. Heard it off a kid from one of those weird Scottish islands. Morn, Marn? Something like that. Lot of kids from around there in the orphanage.
[door opens]
RANGER SEVEN: Ranger Five has gained access. We can go home now.
SLAVA: Home? I suppose it is the closest thing theyâve got to home. Okay. Ernieâs holed himself up in the executive bunker. Probably treating himself to Mr. Valmontâs 60-year-old Macallan whiskey. Probably thinks heâs sitting pretty in there, but you guys laugh in the face of reinforced steel.
The zoms have reached the breach in the wall. Must be a good score of them now. Doesnât matter. Weâre on a timer, anyway. Oh, didnât I mention? Mr. Valmont wants a tissue sample from Van Ark. Thatâs why weâre going in. But more importantly, he wants Van Ark dead, so heâs got a bomber standing by. The whole place is going boom in 15 minutes, and if weâre not out by then, so are we. âPressureâs good. Itâs how you make diamonds.â [chuckles] He told me that when I was 13. Ranger Five, Ranger Seven, watch my six. Weâre going in.
~
[gunshots]
SLAVA: So this is where the real action is. Armory. Figures. âWeâre just apes fighting over scarce resources,â like Mr. Valmont says. Weâve got cover behind these crates, but itâll be hard to get across without catching a stray bullet. I canât see whoâs fighting who. Looks like every man for himself. Very high body count. Okay, Seven. See that metal table? Thatâll have to do for our next piece of cover. Five, suppressing fire while we run. Now! Made it. Looks like they winged you though, Seven.
RANGER SEVEN: They wired the pain receptors to the pleasure receptors in my brain. I was made to be hurt.
SLAVA: Yeah, sure, buddy. Come to us now, Five. Seven will cover.
RANGER SEVEN: Weâre not alone.
SLAVA: Yeah, I see them. Zoms have come to join in the fun. Good news for us. Everybody turned fire on them.
RANGER SEVEN: Ranger Five, weâre not alone.
SLAVA: You already said! No, wait. Is that another supersoldier?
RANGER SEVEN: His battles are over.
SLAVA: Oh shit, a zombie supersoldier! Forget cover, just run!
~
SLAVA: This place is a maze. Endless olive green corridors. Could have gone for a more cheerful color. Itâs not like the walls need camo. [zombie growls] Damn it, canât seem to shake that supersoldier zom! Guess the cybernetics keep working even while the flesh is rotting away. Youâve got a clear shot, Five. Take it! Five, donât malfunction on me now! [gunfire] All right, belay that. It hasnât even dented him. Take a left here. Schematics say it should lead to... Yes. Inner courtyard, greenhouse. Thereâs a service hatch to the tunnel network there, shortcut to Ernieâs hidey-hole
RANGER SEVEN: This was Ernest Van Arkâs place. Ernest Van Ark was happy here.
SLAVA: Was he? Guess youâd know. You must have seen him around the base back in the day.
RANGER SEVEN: All the plants are dry and dead. No one to water them while Ernest Van Ark was gone. When things are neglected, they die.
SLAVA: Not necessarily. Take me. Mr. Valmont gave me my psych profile to read a couple of years back. Thereâs stuff in there from before I can remember. Like apparently no one hugged me for the first whole year of my life. Crazy, right? But Mr. Valmont says thatâs what makes me me. It makes me special.
RANGER SEVEN: When things are neglected, they die on the inside.
SLAVA: Jesus, youâre weird. Five, what are you waiting around for? Get that trap door open. [hatch creaks open] Seven, buy us time to get clear, any means necessary. I donât care if that zom tears you from limb to limb. I donât need both you and Five to finish this mission. [glass shatters] Itâs here! Five, take point. Go!
~
SLAVA: This is it, the entrance to Ernieâs bunker. What are you waiting for, Five? Get that door off. Only eight inches of steel, shouldnât take you long.
RANGER SEVEN: Wait... for... me.
SLAVA: Seven, I thought I told you to guard our rear.
RANGER SEVEN: I must... complete... the mission. Ernest Van Ark is the mission. I must complete the mission for Ernest Van Ark.
[metal creaks]
SLAVA: Nicely done, Five. Took that door clean off. Now stand back.
ERNEST VAN ARK: Finally! I wasnât sure youâd make it. Itâs a bit of a mess out there.
SLAVA: Sorry, Mr. Van Ark, but weâre not here to rescue you.
ERNEST VAN ARK: Oh, I wasnât talking to you. Thank you, Five. Thank you, Seven. Iâm grateful for the risks you took. I suppose youâd better relieve your companion of that rather dangerous-looking gun.
SLAVA: What? Five, let go of me! What are you doing?
ERNEST VAN ARK: The inevitable. Itâs the nature of sentience that a being will come to know and choose for itself. My friends at Abel taught me that.
SLAVA: Ranger Five, you are malfunctioning. Run diagnostic Hotel Golf. Obey me, damn it! Valmont made you. He owns you!
ERNEST VAN ARK: The thing is, Miroslava, a child doesnât belong to its parents. A clone isnât... fenced in by his genetics. And supersoldiers can break free of their programming, with a little help.
RANGER SEVEN: Ernest Van Ark freed soldier 2759. Ernest Van Ark is our friend.
SLAVA: Itâs the supersoldier zom! You arenât getting out of this alive, Van Ark!
ERNEST VAN ARK: If I die, you die. But you genuinely donât care about that, do you? What did Valmont do to you?
RANGER SEVEN: Go, Ernest Van Ark. I will stop him.
ERNEST VAN ARK: Nonsense. Weâre all getting out of this together.
RANGER SEVEN: I am hurt. I will slow you down. My tactical onboard computer calculates 13% survival chance if I accompany you.
ERNEST VAN ARK: Seven, no!
RANGER SEVEN: Five will protect you. This is my choice.
~
ERNEST VAN ARK: I think thatâs far enough, Five. Weâre clear of the base, and clear of the zoms. Too much food inside for us to be of interest. No sign of Seven. I thought... I thought he might make it out after all. How arrogant of me to assume it would all go according to my plan. Not entirely free of my genetics after all.
Thereâs no sign of Miroslava, either. It would have been sensible to dispose of her, but I know you donât much care for killing anymore, Five. She could cause problems for us down the line. But then again, she could be trapped inside when... right on schedule. Valmontâs bomber, come to dispose of the evidence. [explosion] Dear me... He doesnât do things by halves, does he? And now he thinks we died in the base.
I imagine New Agadir would be happy to take you in, Five. Theyâre very keen on new tech, and on freedom. No? Onward, then. Without Valmont on our backs, we can concentrate on whatâs important. What do you say, Five? Do you think itâs time to go and find your namesake?
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Are you there, Runner Five? I must admit, I admire your resolve, as I always have. Blinded by storm, wrapped in dust and darkness, pursued by an entire army, and still you run. Most people would have collapsed into a dispirited wreck by now. My boss is very impressed.
But it will not avail you. We have you in our sight. The storm has our scanners blunted, not blinded, and the storm is dying now. If you didn't have valuable research in your blood, we would have shot you dead by now. This ends one way and one way only.
De Luca is here, if you'd like proof of that. I was just about to send her for a full debriefing. Anything to say, Janine?
JANINE DE LUCA: Five, it's me. Do not give in! You have the USB and the panacea in your blood. You must get to Miss Abani. They will not follow you across the border. You could be there in minutes!
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Oh yes, over the bridge to safety. Can you even see it, Five? Get De Luca out of here!
JANINE DE LUCA: Five, the bridge crosses a ravine. The ravine holds a river. Listen, Five â [shouts as she is knocked out and then dragged away]
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: She isn't coming to help you, Five. No one is. We have your friends. Sam, left in the comms station. We found him. He's still unconscious. Peter, left in the mountains. His rescuer was intercepted by our mercenaries. Your band of thieves stole vital research. Did you really think Red Scorpion wouldn't search every inch of your trail?
Is that your plan? [scoffs] Veering toward a clump of rock formations? I bet you barely see them. Just looming shadows in the dark. They won't obscure you long, Five. Perhaps you'll hide from us for five minutes at most. I suppose you believe every minute makes a difference. I'll see you very soon.
~
[mechanical legs whir and stomp]
SUPER SOLDIER: Command, squad nine reporting. Visibility still low. Rock formations all around. Target lost, hiding between them. Splitting team to search. Enhanced vision on full. Awaiting further support.
[Jeep engine rumbles]
LEADER: We're near the bridge, so scour this smog. Fan out between the rocks. Keep your eyes on those scopes.
SOLDIER: Sir, yes sir!
SUPER SOLDIER: Rocks blocking thermal sight. Recommend we tell backup to encircle before the target slips away. Over.
MAXINE MYERS: Five, Five, are you there? It's me, across the river.
SUPER SOLDIER: Signal intercept, comm ping, six of my location. Matches captured headsets. There. Heat profile on the move. All forces converge. Run the target down. Do not let it escape!
~
BRENT VALMONT: Five? Five! Are you receiving? Wave a hand if you are! Oh, thank God. It's me, Five! Valmont to the rescue... sort of! I came for Sam. Took a fast plane and a stealth boat. Thought I might find another crossing point upriver, but they're all buttoned up. Got a bit stuck.
MAXINE MYERS: Five, it's Maxine. I'm over the bridge with the squad from the Maghreb Protectorate. Valmont volunteered to help us. Our night vision doesn't like the storm. We couldn't see or signal you until the weather started clearing. We're nearly at the bridge. Keep going.
It is good to be back with you, Five. I've been up north treating measles outbreaks. Followed an epidemic into the protectorate. They all knew about me and they let me help their medical program. Maryam sent word that I'd be useful here.
I've seen a lot of sick people, Five. At borders and on beaches. International refugees, displaced locals. Survivors from the world over. Diseased, dying, hopeless. The panacea you've got, it's the potential for a cure. Not just for the ailments. It'll show the world our science can still work! This isn't a new dark age. Our knowledge can save us. It's hope, Five! That is what you're carrying.
[flares explode]
Oh wow, Five. You're out of the worst of the storm. It's still hazy behind you and-and there are flares going up in the murk. A line of rising green lights showing... Oh. Oh no, th-that's a huge army. There's got to be thousands of soldiers, jeeps, mechs, tanks, squads of infantry, all charging after you. Oh, dear God, the scale of it! Showing us their numbers. It is a way to bare their teeth. We've only got a dozen soldiers here, but they daren't cross the border. It'd start a war. We'll hold position, Five. You're almost at the bridge. Keep going no matter what!
~
MAXINE MYERS: Five, the storm has died down completely. No more wind cover, no more dust. You are totally exposed. Oh, damn! There's a lot of starlight. Scopes don't even need NV. That's it, you're at the bridge. Hurry! If you get past halfway, you're over the line.
[explosion]
Five! Five's hit. Five, are you all right? On your feet! Th-there's something on your back j-just above your pack. A canister stuck to you with putty?
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: I see you got your gift, Five. Didn't want to deploy it in the storm. Wind can throw off aim.
[canister beeps]
MAXINE MYERS: Is it beeping? Five, Five, you're stumbling. What's wrong?
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: The canister is administering injections, Five. The cocktail in your blood is sensitive. You need to be dosed in stages.
MAXINE MYERS: That thing's tranquilizing you, Five. [sound slows, distorts] I can see it in the way you're swaying. Fight it! For God's sake, fight it! [sound returns to normal] That's it, keep moving. You don't have far to - oh no, Five. Incoming copters.
[explosion]
BRENT VALMONT: They blew up the bridge with missiles! A rather impressive barrage, to be honest!
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: There's no way to their side now, Five. I held my forces back a bit to avoid driving you into the blast. No need for that now. We're on the bridge behind you. There's nothing you can do. [sound slows, distorts] I hope you understand that.
MAXINE MYERS: Five, Five, stay conscious. I have an idea. Valmont, you got here by boat, right? Five, just keep going. They blasted the bridge just before its midpoint. Head for the rubble. Get to where the bridge ends. It is not over yet. Go!
~
[rushing water, shouting, heartbeat]
[sound slows and fades until only the heartbeat is left]
SAM YAO: Uh, the tranq thing stopped beeping, Five. Must be empty. [echoes] You know, I hate to break this to you, but I think you might be... [high-pitched, distorted] hallucinating a little?
[bubbles pop]
FRANCES DEMPSEY: I mean, I don't think this bridge should be lurching up and down like that, do you?
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Stop running, Five. If you go over the edge of that bridge, you'll drown. There's enough tranquilizer in you to stun an elephant.
[elephant trumpets]
MARYAM ABANI: What? [?], what?
SAM YAO: Run! Run! Run!
[helicopters whir, mechanical legs stomp, bubbles pop]
VERONICA MCSHELL: Fading in and out here, Five. Wonder why you're hearing us? [distorts] Probably just scrambled synapses in your brain.
[elephant trumpets]
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Or perhaps you're remembering who you'll fail if you fall.
SAM YAO: I need help! I need help! Listen!
MAXINE MYERS: Five, are you receiving? Do you copy? I hope you can hear me. Listen, Valmont has a speed boat and there's a river running under the bridge. We're coming for you. The helicopters are pulling back. It's too close to Protectorate airspace. Valmont, step on it.
[maniacal laughter]
JANINE DE LUCA: I think it's sunrise, Five. Or the sky is bleeding. One of the two.
SAM YAO: [echoes] Hurry!
JANINE DE LUCA: [South African accent] Have you... got my voice wrong, Five? [own accent] It's Moonchild in your head, isn't it? Honestly, what have you [?]
MAXINE MYERS: Five, we're speeding toward you. Just get to the end of the bridge. And Valmont and I'll be waiting underneath. Focus, Five! Just one foot in front of the other. You're close. Run!
[high-pitched voice whoops, Abel Township gate siren]
~
MAXINE MYERS: Five, concentrate. You're at the middle of the bridge. Well, the end of the bridge now. Nothing there but rubble.
SAM YAO: Five!
BRENT VALMONT: Five, we're going to be too late. You have to dive into the water. We'll swing by and pick you up. Tuck the USB inside your clothes. You won't be in the water for long. It'll work!
[bell rings, spring bounces, animal roars]
MAXINE MYERS: We're almost there, Five. They're right on top of you. Stop swaying. Snap out of it! They're going to grab you!
[mechanical legs whir and stomp]
SOLDIERS: Get back here! Get back here!
[helicopter whirs]
JANINE DE LUCA: I would jump, if I were you.
MAXINE MYERS: I said jump, Five. Off the bridge.
SAM YAO, VERONICA MCSHELL, OTHER VOICES: Jump, now!
[wind whistles, footsteps crunch, water splashes and swirls]
MAXINE MYERS: Five, I've got you. I've got you. Floor it, Valmont! [speedboat engine revs] It is okay, Five. You did it! We're pulling toward the other side of the river. That's protectorate waters. They can't touch us there. [laughs] You did it, Five! I've got the USB. You've got the data out. This is going to save millions. Oh, it is okay, Five. [echoes] You can rest. We'll get you somewhere safe. You hear that, Five? It's okay. You can rest.
[sound slows]
~
[fire crackles]
BRENT VALMONT: Five. Five, are you awake? [sighs] You gave me quite a scare there, Five. After we got off that boat, you wouldn't wake for love nor money. No, it's okay. Don't try to sit up. You're still weak. Do you... like the office? It's one of my favorites. Fireplace, leather couch, fur rug. Classic look! Whiskey? I've got some nice ones. Oh, maybe not, eh? With all that magic in your blood.
[door opens]
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: Sir -
BRENT VALMONT: I said not now, Guillemette!
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: I'm sorry, sir, but it's urgent. The other one, she slipped away. I've got people looking -
BRENT VALMONT: Oh yes, really? And where have I heard that before? No, don't tell me. It was when Five "slipped away" from you on the salt flat. You know, you had such a promising record, Guillemette. I heard such very good things. And yet you betray me!
GUILLEMETTE FELIS: No -
[three gun shots, GUILLEMETTE collapses]
BRENT VALMONT: Damn! I should have said, "you fail me for the last time." She has been such a disappointment, Five. She really had to go! But you... you've been adorable, so entertaining! All these years, running through all those wheels! I'd say my apocalypse was worth it just to find you. And yes, you almost took my panacea, but don't worry. You'll earn forgiveness.
Cheers. [clinks glass, sips, sighs] Oh, Five. You should see your face. Yes, Five. I was her boss! And now I'm yours! Because from this moment to forever, my dear, determined Runner, you belong to me!
SAM YAO: Ah, another beautiful day in New Agadir. Funny how much easier it is to enjoy the colorful mosaics of stone and solar tile when you're not moments from having your brain turned into a poached egg.
JANINE DE LUCA: Fortunately, that entire incident is now behind us, Mr. Yao. While the puzzle scavenger hunt you, Runner Five, and I are about to engage in -
SAM YAO: - is the perfect way to build our cover as Death's Hand. Now, any halfway decent group of ruthless mercenaries begins by gathering intel and mixing in with the locals. Oh... oh, now does that make us double undercover? Undercoverer?
JANINE DE LUCA: Mm. Mr. Yao, please. Let's save the wordplay for the main event.
SAM YAO: I'm sorry, Janine. I'm just excited! This hunt was created by Halcyon, the creator of Poshington, the Demons and Darkness setting based on modern England.
HALCYON: Are you ready?
[applause]
SAM YAO: Oh, there he is! Somehow, I thought he'd be taller.
HALCYON: Then let's begin. Tea for two and two for tea. Take yourselves to a popular local tea tent and drink up to reveal your next clue. I'll see you at the finish line. And remember -
[SAM chuckles]
HALCYON and SAM YAO: [in unison] Keep calm and blimey on!
JANINE DE LUCA: Right. Unless you or Runner Five know more about the tea shops of New Agadir than I think, Mr. Yao, we'll need to keep up with this crowd. Run!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: Up ahead. Do you see, Five? All the participants in the game appear to be visiting the Two Scoops tea shop. I see, yes. Two for tea. Very clever.
SAM YAO: Very Halcyon. Oh, come on, we're falling behind.
JANINE DE LUCA: On the contrary. Hang back a little, Five. We should remain in the middle of the pack, exactly where cautious mercenaries like Death's Hand would place themselves during an intel mission.
SAM YAO: Yeah. Or, or, or maybe we should try to get to the head of the pack, exactly where ruthless superfit mercenaries like Death's Hand would definitely want to be.
JANINE DE LUCA: I feel, Mr. Yao, that your motivation has less to do with building our cover and more to do with obtaining first prize. A gold-plated crumpet, wasn't it?
SAM YAO: Oh, was it? I didn't know. Anyway, we're here now. Uh... yeah. See that woman inside wearing the top hat and Union Jack ascot? She must have the next clue.
JANINE DE LUCA: Wait, I know that face. If I'm not mistaken, she was working in the refreshment tent outside the city when we came into town.
SAM YAO: What? The tent ransacked by our goats? Hopefully she doesn't remember us. Come on, let's go in.
[bell jingles, Pomp and Circumstance music plays]
TEA SELLER: [posh accent] Who's here for tea and crumpets? [own accent] You three? I appreciate you finding me to apologize for your previous antics, but I do not have time for it today. Please be on your way!
SAM YAO: But we're not â I mean, we are. But this time we're not -
TEA SELLER: On your way. [posh accent] No crumpets for you!
HALIYAH AMANI: Psst! Over here.
SAM YAO: Who's...? Oh, in the corner there, the woman in the Critical Role T-shirt.
JANINE DE LUCA: Yes? What can we do for you?
HALIYAH AMANI: You need the clue, right? I've got it. I found it on the saucer under a tea cup. âHere comes the sun. Find some stones that don't roll in this place that's less rock than metal."
SAM YAO: Less rock than metal... hmm. Hmm. A music store, maybe? Or the scrapyard outside the walls. I know it's filled with metal parts being repurposed by the city.
HALIYAH AMANI: That has to be it. That's great!
JANINE DE LUCA: On the contrary, it is not in the least bit great. I was conducting a reconnaissance mission near that scrapyard this morning. I saw at least half a dozen zoms.
HALIYAH AMANI: Oh no. Are you sure?
JANINE DE LUCA: Quite positive.
HALIYAH AMANI: But all the contestants are headed there already, and no one's armed. It'll be a massacre.
JANINE DE LUCA: We have to warn them before they reach the zombies. What's the quickest route, Miss...?
HALIYAH AMANI: Amani. Haliyah Amani. And it'll take too long to explain, but I can take you there. Follow me. Quickly!
~
HALIYAH AMANI: This is it. To enter the scrapyard, the group has to come through this crossway.
SAM YAO: Well, I don't see anyone.
HALIYAH AMANI: Without that short cut, they'll be at least a few minutes behind us. It is eerie how quiet the place is, though. Usually you can hear the rhythm of the auto sorters and the clang of people looking through old metal for spare parts.
JANINE DE LUCA: No doubt news of the zombies has spread. Hopefully only the contestants are in any danger.
SAM YAO: Great. And you know, while we wait to warn them, maybe we can take a gander at whatever it is Five's standing in front of. Are those classic rock guitars propped up on stands, like a... like a Neolithic stone circle?
JANINE DE LUCA: It's meant to be Stonehenge, I think, though whoever created it didn't quite get the proportions right. That psychedelic-looking guitar by Runner Five's left foot is much too far to the right.
HALIYAH AMANI: I wonder if the error is a clue. Part of the game somehow.
[zombies scream]
JANINE DE LUCA: Perhaps. But those zombie screams definitely are not. Is it possible the group somehow got ahead of us, Miss Amani?
HALIYAH AMANI: I don't see how.
JANINE DE LUCA: Someone else may have stumbled on those zoms. At the very least, we may be able to draw them away from this area. Miss Amani, stay here to warn the group in case we're wrong. Runner Five, Mr. Yao, with me. Quickly, run!
~
[zombies scream]
SAM YAO: Well, we're halfway through the scrapyard and I've seen every kind of metal heap I could possibly imagine and I still don't see any zoms.
JANINE DE LUCA: I think I know why. Listen. Hear that click at the beginning, Five? A recording resetting itself. All part of this puzzle, I guess. Unfortunately, it's going to attract some very real zombies if we can't shut it off.
SAM YAO: Yeah, and all this metal bouncing the sound around isn't helping. Okay. Okay. Think, Sam. Think. Now where would a zombie attack take place in Poshington? Marmite convention? Cricket match? Wait, Five, over towards you. Is that an old bus?
JANINE DE LUCA: Painted red like a London double-decker. Mr. Yao, I think you're onto something. Runner Five, see if you can get the door open.
[door creaks open]
SAM YAO: Ugh. I've heard Halcyon wanted to adapt Poshington to our new post-Z-Day era, but a dark bus filled with mannequins and the sound of zombies screaming is not my idea of a cracking good time. Can you see what's playing the screams, Five?
[recording clicks off]
JANINE DE LUCA: Much better. Thank you.
[zombie gasps]
SAM YAO: Oh, what, there's a backup recording? Oh. Or a very real zombie sitting in that seat. Watch out, Five.
JANINE DE LUCA: Off the bus, everyone! I should have anticipated that the real zombies would be on the bus, drawn by the screams. Runner Five, see if you can find a piece of metal to bar the door. That isn't going to hold them for long. We need to warn the players before they reach the bus. Run!
~
[crowd chatters]
SAM YAO: We're nearly out. That's the entrance to the scrapyard up ahead, and we've managed to pull away from the zombies.
JANINE DE LUCA: But not by much, and it appears Miss Amani has been unable to dissuade the game's competitors from completing the challenge. There must be at least 50 people here!
HALIYAH AMANI: You need to get out of here. You have to believe me. There are zoms up ahead. Stop looking at Guitarhenge and listen!
PARTICIPANT 1: Don't worry, Haliyah. We can find the next clue without your help.
JANINE DE LUCA: This isn't part of the game. There are real zombies headed in this direction!
PARTICIPANT 2: She says, in a Poshington accent. You can't fool us. Now please, we are trying to gather clues here.
HALIYAH AMANI: This is all my fault. I didn't want to tell you, but I'm Halcyon's writing partner. That's why I latched onto you as soon as I heard you in the tea shop. I couldn't miss the chance to research some real Brits! But we made the games too sneaky. Now everyone thinks this is just another trick.
SAM YAO: Then we'll have to make the game work for us. Five still has the fake zombie recording. If we turn it on at the right moment, I bet the real zoms will follow the sound and leave these people alone.
JANINE DE LUCA: Agreed, Mr. Yao, but we need somewhere to direct them that won't hurt anyone else.
HALIYAH AMANI: There's an exit from the city not too far from here. If we circle the exterior wall, we can lead the zoms right to the defenses by the southern gate. I'll show you where.
JANINE DE LUCA: It does seem to be our best option at the moment. Runner Five, be ready to turn the recording on as soon as we catch sight of the zombies. Miss Amani, lead the way. Run!
~
SAM YAO: Well, normally I'd stop to enjoy the view of the rolling desert sands along the city wall, but our plan seems to be working. Wait. Wait, aren't there eight zoms behind us now? Instead of the five who followed us out of the city? Wait, two more just joined the pack! Lovely.
HALIYAH AMANI: I'm sorry. Halcyon and I like our adventures to be exciting, but this is taking it a bit far.
SAM YAO: So you really write the adventures with him? Did you work on Dog Save the Queen?
HALIYAH AMANI: It was my idea.
SAM YAO: [laughs] I love that one! Oh, the bit where the demon corgis are out to kill the royal family and you have to fend them off in the Tower of London. Me and Five had so much fun.
HALIYAH AMANI: I was rather proud of that adventure.
SAM YAO: Then why don't you put your name to them? Poshington wouldn't exist without you. You deserve to be famous every bit as much as Halcyon.
HALIYAH AMANI: But I prefer not to be. If my face and name aren't known, I can join in the games without being recognized. I love seeing people enjoy what I've created up close. I'll take that over fame any day.
JANINE DE LUCA: Your native zombies appear to be a faster subspecies than our own, Miss Amani. They're gaining ground.
HALIYAH AMANI: Don't worry. Can you see, Five? That's the defense tower up ahead. Yoohoo, zoms incoming!
JANINE DE LUCA: I don't think they can see us just yet, and the zombies behind us are moving faster. We're going to have to put on a burst of speed.
SAM YAO: Yeah. Pretend those demon corgis are nipping at your heels. Run!
~
[zombies scream, lasers fire]
SAM YAO: That's it. The last of the zoms down.
JANINE DE LUCA: Indeed. I'd heard of the efficiency of the New Agadir laser defense grid, but seeing it in action is really quite impressive. Those tower guards are to be commended.
HALIYAH AMANI: And so are you. Without you, a lot of people could have died today.
SAM YAO: All's well that ends - wait, is that Halcyon there ahead of us?
HALCYON: [posh accent] Welcome to the finish line, Poshinton knights. But where is your changing of the guard getup?
HALIYAH AMANI: It's all right, Hal, they know who I am.
HALCYON: [own accent] I'm so relieved to see you, Haliyah. I heard all kinds of rumors about zombies in the scrapyard.
JANINE DE LUCA: Taken care of, Mr. Halcyon, but I would suggest avoiding loud noises at any of your future setups.
HALCYON: Sorry, who are you?
HALIYAH AMANI: Our future security consultant. Now shush, here come the first players. They don't need to know how close to disaster we came. Why ruin the illusion? Go on, Hal, do your thing.
HALCYON: All right. [posh accent] Now it's time for the winning team to come and collect their... [makes a fanfare sound with his mouth] golden crumpet!
[crowd cheers]
JANINE DE LUCA: I'm sorry that we were unable to win the prize for you, Mr. Yao.
SAM YAO: No, that's all right. Getting to hang out with Poshington's creator was a thousand percent better than any crumpet, golden or otherwise.
HALIYAH AMANI: Actually, I was thinking maybe you could give me a few pointers? Help me make the British setting more accurate?
SAM YAO: It's perfect already. Don't change a thing. But maybe... maybe you could write a sequel to Dog Save the Queen? I need to know who sicced the demon corgis on the royals in the first place.
HALIYAH AMANI: Well, I'd hate to leave you in suspense. We'll have to play sometime. You bring your accents, I'll bring the tea. And remember -
SAM YAO and HALIYAH AMANI: [in unison] Keep calm and blimey on!
JANINE DE LUCA: Stay low, Five. These rocks provide some cover, but we must not attract attention. Sergeant Felis and Red Scorpion have deployed hundreds of troops in our path. They're creating a cordon, preventing us from crossing by sheer force of numbers. The ravine ahead marks the border. There is only one route across it, the small suspension bridge to our east. On the other side of the bridge, Miss Abani is waiting with troops from the Maghreb Protectorate. Red Scorpion cannot seize us if we cross.
We are so close, but our foe has positioned her soldiers wisely. And we must not delude ourselves. Sergeant Felis is our foe now. Though she helped us when she could, with her commander's eyes on her, she will pursue us with utter ruthlessness. Two armed cordons, stretching as far as the eye can see, blocking off the ravine. One a good distance in front of the other. Impossible to rush both. Black Hawks circling the cordons. If we get closer, they will see us.
The stars are radiant, aren't they? Milky Way streaking overhead, so bright. We've left so many behind. Mr. Yao, Miss McShell, Miss Dempsey, Mr. Boujettif, Peter. Even General Bakari. In truth, your best chance of survival is surrender. You have panacea biodata in your blood. Even without our stolen USB drive, that has value. If you surrender, show willing, you might be able to barter humane treatment from our enemies. If we try for that bridge, the likelihood is we will both be killed, or captured and tortured. But if we could somehow beat the odds, millions could be saved. I need to know, Five, are you with me to the last?
I knew you would be. The helicopters are withdrawing northward. Clouds are covering the stars. Feel the winds, Five? Dust storms are unusual at night, but they happen. We may have a window, one chance. Look at the plateau ahead. Rock formations litter it like broken teeth half-buried in sand. The enemy cordons are composed of guarded checkpoints with vehicle patrols. The night is darkening. The storm will block line of sight between the checkpoints. That is our opportunity, Five.
There! That checkpoint is still setting up. If we stay low, use the rocky ground for cover, we can get close without being seen. We have less than an hour before the tracking device in our USB pings again. We must be over the border before it gives us away. Come on, move!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: Visiblity is dropping sharply. Excellent. This storm is weaker than the one we previously encountered, Five. Still, cover your nose and mouth. There. The torchlights ahead mark the checkpoint. I can just make out three soldiers setting up a barricade. I'll get their attention. You edge behind them. On my signal, attack.
SOLDIER 1: All these rocks and dead bushes, too much cover. And this basic [?] is no good.
SOLDIER 2: You whined in New Mexico, too. It's just the storm, it'll... Hey, you! Identify!
JANINE DE LUCA: Don't you know me? I'm Steel Fist with Death's Hand, you idiots. Look, we don't have time to mess around. We've got intel from the boffin, Ernie. Needs to reach the Chief.
SOLDIER 2: Death's Hand? We heard -
JANINE DE LUCA: Don't care what you heard. It was all cover, said we were dead so we could work covert ops for the boss. This intel is urgent, Felis's eyes only. No radio transmissions, or are you too thick to get that? Need to get this across the cordon.
SOLDIER 1: Storm's scrambling comms, but we've got signal boosters setting up. When they're on, we'll verify you. Meantime, stay right where you are. Uncover your face. Hey, hand away from that pocket!
JANINE DE LUCA: Relax! Just getting my vape pen. I expect you wouldn't belive me if I said look out, there's someone right behind you.
SOLDIER 1: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
JANINE DE LUCA: Thought not. It means now, Five. Good tackle, Five! The big one's down. Look out! Nice moves, Five. Staying too close for them to aim. Gave me the chance to pistol whip the other two. They're out cold.
Grab their gear and clothes. When they come to, they'll need to report our attack, but we have their radios. And they'll get lost in the gloom if they go looking for the nearest checkpoint. Their best bet will to be to head downwind of the barricade, try to get caught by the rear cordon. I have a plan, Five. I know how to use that to our advantage, if we're fast. I'll explain as we go. We need to be away from here when they wake up. This way. Run.
~
JANINE DE LUCA: There's the second cordon, Five, not far ahead. Look, even through the dust, I can see headlights. Dozens of Jeeps creeping back and forth, far more vehicles patrolling the rear line. Those are spotlights activating, one per checkpoint. Searchlights to penetrate the dust. Our stolen uniforms are some disguise, but we won't get through another round of questioning.
The shadow behind you is a rock formation, Five. Put your back against it. It will be some shelter from the wind. We must hope Sergeant Felis lives up to her normal efficiency. If they take too long to get their comms online... Ah, signal on our stolen radios.
SERGEANT FELIS: This is command. Booster stations active. Weather is delaying thermal sight rollout. Airlift to resume ASAP. Storm will reduce sensor efficacy. The boss has promised additional help. Meantime, hold the line. Command out.
JANINE DE LUCA: Good. They do not know we are here. From the sound of it, fielding this many troops is stretching their equipment. My uniform has a name on the chest. Do you see a rank insignia, Five? Ah, shoulder.
This is Sergeant Wilson. Repeat, Wilson. Two assailants hit our checkpoint, took a hostage. All three headed for the rear cordon. Radio damaged. Send backup.
RADIO OPERATOR: Say again, Wilson? Confirm report. What did you - ?
JANINE DE LUCA: With luck, that should be enough to get them moving. There! A column of Jeeps is moving towards the checkpoint we attacked, scrambling to investigate. The cordon is redeploying its troops to make up for the departing units. Lots of movement. In the dark, with these uniforms, we can slip by unnoticed. Follow me, Five. Into the cordon. Avoid the spotlights as much as possible. Run!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: Stand straighter, Five. Hold yourself as if you belong. Hard to make out what's around us, I know. Nothing but headlights and silhouettes in gray haze. Just follow me. I was always a good operative, Five. Led dozens of disruption ops like this for the state. Of course, the state turned out to be unworthy of the service.
I miss Abel very much, but seeing Tunisia has reminded me our duty is not to rebuild any one place. It is to do whatever we can to help the whole world prosper. The UK caused the apocalypse. If we hope to remedy that, we must reach out and work with others. This panacea could be a crucial step on that path. Take the radio, Five. Keep this channel open.
RADIO OPERATOR: General checkpoint update. Three figures spotted roaming between cordons, did not respond to signals coordinating intercept. Alert level 1.
JANINE DE LUCA: As I hoped. Without their radio, the soldiers we attacked have no means to identify themselves. They've been mistaken for us. The others will be focused on them, and â [zombie screams] What was that? Those are zombie screams.
SERGEANT FELIS: All forces, Z alert. The storm has exposed zombies that were buried under the sand dunes near the rock formations. They are between cordons. Destroy verified undead on sight. Command out.
JANINE DE LUCA: Buried, like the first screamer we uncovered in the desert, Five. The sound of the cordons will have driven them wild. This is our best chance! The army will be disrupted. And that sounds like zombies right behind us. Forward, Five. We're almost through the cordon. Faster! Hurry!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: Five, slow down. I think we lost the zombies in the dark. That sounded like artillery fire, heavy guns. They must have identified a cluster of zombies. The cordons will recover quickly, but I think we're through them both. If I angled us correctly, the bridge should be directly ahead, though it is impossible to tell. All I see is murk! We can only hope this is the right direction, Five. The rear cordon was placed well ahead of the ravine. We are not safe yet.
SERGEANT FELIS: This is command. Priority message. We have secured the strays between the cordons. They were not, repeat, not the targets. Yes, I said every sensor we have pointed behind the cordon! Then show me the damn feeds. Two figures moving fast. It's got to be them. Deploy the reserves, all of them! That's why I held them back. And change this frequency. They've got to have - !
JANINE DE LUCA: Do you hear that, under the wind? It sounds like super soldiers. I thought they were all disabled or subverted by us or by ANNIE. She must have more. These are almost certainly the most loyal and reliable ones, not malfunctioning. We will not be able to fight them. Speed up, we have to find the bridge. Move!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: This is no good, Five. The super soldiers are catching up too quickly. Even if we find the bridge now, they will take us before we're halfway across. Can't see them in the dust, but they're coming from behind us. There's one more trick up my sleeve. It's not exactly keeping you safe, but I can buy you time. I'll veer toward them, guns blazing, draw them off. You keep going for the crossing. It will only gain you minutes, but on a night like this, every minute counts.
Look over your shoulder, Five. Lances of red light piercing the dust, dark shadows behind them. Those must be laser sights of some kind, coming from eye level. This is all I can do for you. My risk, my choice. Take the USB, get that data out. Cross the finish line for me. Go, Five. I will occupy them for as long as I can. Straight forward, run!
~
SERGEANT FELIS: So then, it's Runner Five, yes? I know you're on this frequency. You've been eavesdropping again. I suppose you're wondering how I know it's you. I'll let my reserve commander explain.
SUPER SOLDIER: This is Squad 9 reporting in. Target attempted diversionary tactic, as expected. Neutralized with ease. Closing on remaining target.
SERGEANT FELIS: Your comrade has bought you time. You're the one with the special blood, which means you've got the data, too. That information belongs to Red Scorpion, Five. Nobody else. There's a whole army behind you. My boss is listening. It's been a merry chase, spy, but it's over now. Let me make it clear.
This is command. We're not leaving this to the enhanced soldiers. All forces move to intercept. No matter what happens, the target does not get away!
SAM YAO: Oh, Five! Oh my God, it's so good to see you!
JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, you have been extraordinarily lucky. We cannot rely on such good fortune again. Sergeant Felis made it clear she will be duty-bound to hunt us down if she pinpoints us again.
SAM YAO: Yeah. But these enormous, echoing, empty caves should conceal us, right? Hmm, looks quite dusty. [coughs] And uh, it's full of old computer, uh... stuff.
JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, I believe this cave complex was hollowed out by some precursor to Red Scorpion before the zombie apocalypse. It has certainly been abandoned now for a very long time, probably because it is too close to the border with the Maghreb.
SAM YAO: Yeah, I mean, Guillemette wouldn't have led you here if they could instantly find you. Right, Five?
JANINE DE LUCA: Indeed. These caves tunnel right through the rocky hills leading to the Maghreb border. Our extraction point is not far from the other side.
SAM YAO: Well, that's if we can find our way through. Looks like half the doors here are sealed. No point getting stuck in here. They'll work out where we are eventually.
VERONICA MCSHELL: I think I can sort that out. The systems here look like something I can interface with. We need to head down that passageway to a command nexus. No time to wait, come on!
~
VERONICA MCSHELL: Good, these computers look like what we need, and there's residual power here from a small generator. Sam, I'm just going to need to take control of one of your hands. I need to connect to a little node in the back of your neck.
SAM YAO: Uh, yeah. Okay, V. Uh, I'm just gonna close my eyes, let you take over.
VERONICA MCSHELL: I'm just going to connect this cable. I should be able to open all the doors in the place. [computers hum] I'm into the system. All terminals are networked. Locating central hub. [over intercom] Ah, there are speakers here! Much more comfortable than that synthesizer. Hub located, in hibernation. I can -
[SAM YAO and VERONICA MCSHELL scream, computers zap, door slams shut]
JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Yao, Miss McShell, what's happening? The blast door just closed over main entrance!
ANNIE: Now then, who's prodding me awake? Camera's warming up... oh look, there you are.
JANINE DE LUCA: ANNIE! That is... ANNIE, Mr. Valmontâs rogue AI!
SAM YAO: [weak, severely pained] Five, get this cable out of me. My head! Oh God, it hurts! Five, ANNIEâs in the computers. She did something to Veronica. Oh, it hurts...
ANNIE: Insects. Insects in my body? Parasites? And not authorized parasites. Can't have that.
[doors slam open]
JANINE DE LUCA: Doors are opening to adjacent rooms. Those are zombies coming out. We can't stay here. Five, remove that cable. Get Mr. Yao on his feet! The door behind you leads to a clear hallway. Move!
~
SAM YAO: Five, is that you holding me up? [shouts] It hurts so much! It... It... [SAMâs voice combined with the distorted voice of VERONICA] It hurts. No control. Like a splinter in the logic, the numbers terrified. Fading in and out. It hurts.
[SAM screams]
JANINE DE LUCA: He's barely conscious. Keep moving, Five. This corridor is nothing but empty offices. We must find an exit! The zombies are closing.
[zombies groan]
ANNIE: Ah, my staff. So hungry. I penned them in for study after they went rotten. Then I got bored, went into hibernation to save power. And you intruders make me spend it. Though I saw such interesting things in the conjoined one's mind. You all know me already, Insect Five especially. Delighted to be killing you.
VERONICA MCSHELL: -nine? Janine, I-I think she knew we might come here, has been waiting for us, might even have nudged us by taking control of the super soldiers.
[SAM screams]
VERONICA MCSHELL: 14% probability of that. Would have calculated it higher without this stupid optimistic brain.
JANINE DE LUCA: I doubt Red Scorpion knows about ANNIE. She's been a rogue element for a long time. This corridor forks. Miss McShell, did you see a floor plan in the database?
SAM YAO: [with difficulty] J-Janine, it's me. Probably. Hard to tell right now. Ronnie says go left, find the supervisor's office. This place got its ANNIE from Valmont pre-Z-day. The supervisor has a private line to Valmont. [chuckles] Loyal customer bonus. [shouts] If the powerâs on, soâs the line. Valmontâs the last person in the world who still has long range comms infrastructure. V thinks he can help.
JANINE DE LUCA: First we must outpace these zombies. That way, Five. Faster!
~
[zombies groan]
VERONICA MCSHELL: Itâs okay, Five. You don't have to hold Sam up. [with difficulty] I can... keep us on our feet. Janine, we want the office ahead with-with the frosted windows.
[door creaks shut]
JANINE DE LUCA: The supervisor certainly lived up to their title. CCTV monitors on every wall.
VERONICA MCSHELL: [with difficulty] The private lineâs on the... desk. Video link. Sending signal... using Valmontâs priority codes.
[radio static]
BRENT VALMONT: Hello? Who's this? This is an old channel. How do you know my code for Amelia updates? Oh! Runner Five, Janine, my favorite people! What are you doing calling from... Tunisia? Goodness.
ANNIE: What are you doing, insects? Accessing an encrypted comm line? We can't have -
[keyboard clicking]
BRENT VALMONT: Sorry, ANNIE. Just overriding to access your logs. Oh dear, this one's buggy, isn't she? What's she been up to? Remote accessing super soldiers, good lord. Better shut her down. Now ANNIE, come on. No, no countermeasures. Bad ANNIE! Ow! Ah, she's got into my system, frazzled half my comm relays. Fused loads of her own systems doing it. Didnât want to go, poor thing.
JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Valmont, I'm patching you into our comms. Do the logs mention medical facilities? We -
BRENT VALMONT: Ah, I see what you have. ANNIE recorded it. Two minds in one brain, [laughs] imagine the patterns. Bad news, though. Uh, ANNIE disrupted the copy of Veronica inside Sam. She's collapsing in a feedback loop, overclocking herself and him. It's going to, well, liquefy Sam's brain.
JANINE DE LUCA: I will not permit that to happen!
SAM YAO: Oh God. Oh no! Janine, look, the CCTV!
JANINE DE LUCA: Helicopters have landed outside. Red Scorpion soldiers are emerging. Sergeant Felisâs ability to help us is evidently at an end.
BRENT VALMONT: There is one option for you. That's an old comms station. Has an archive drive for storing transmissions, lots of space. If you could download Veronica onto the drive, she'd be out of Sam's head. He'd be safe. Keep the drive offline, halt her decay, and you can get her home to fix. The drive's in room B17. Down the corridor, four rights and a left.
JANINE DE LUCA: I see B17 on the monitors. There's a fire door nearby we can exit through. The soldiers are entering the base. ANNIE's demise must have unsealed the door. We have little time. The zombies are catching up. Everyone, run!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: Door B17. Inside, now. [door shuts] A single computer terminal, plenty of cables. Miss McShell, what do you need?
SAM YAO: Janine, Iâm pretty scared. Head pounding, burning up.
VERONICA MCSHELL: We both are. Give me the blue cable, Five. That'll work.
BRENT VALMONT: Now listen, once Veronica's downloaded, you can pull the hard drive from the machine and run. She'll be safe on there.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Not enough time.
SAM YAO: What? Veronica -
VERONICA MCSHELL: [over intercom] Ah! Speakers in here, too. 8 minutes until those soldiers reach us, at best. 22 to download me. Not enough time.
JANINE DE LUCA: Miss McShell, can you speed up the transfer?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Not without killing Sam! Organic brains, so fragile. Could do one thing, though. Could wipe myself from Sam's head, erase my software, take burden off him.
JANINE DE LUCA: No, Miss McShell, you cannot!
VERONICA MCSHELL: It's fine. I'm safe in the UK. One of me is, anyway. Not this one.
SAM YAO: Ronnie, come on, don't talk like that. We can figure it out. We-we can figure something out. Having you in my head... I've never felt smarter. Iâd have passed my degree like this.
VERONICA MCSHELL: I'm sorry, Sam. I loved being in your brain. You should see it, Five! The way he views the world, it's like the whole thing's blazing with hope. Every person, every moment, every day, a chance for joy. Faith in friendship, and love, and Marmite! [laughs] Even when I was human, I-I never could have imagined it. It made my calculations feel... kinder.
SAM YAO: Ronnie, please.
VERONICA MCSHELL: It's okay, Sam. I'll still be in your memory. I've seen myself there, flaring with your faith in me. Thank you so much for sharing that. [powers down]
SAM YAO: [cries] Ronnie! Ronnie, no! Oh, come back! Come back, please! She's gone. I... I can't feel her. Oh... oh God. Five, m-my head - [collapses]
JANINE DE LUCA: Mr. Yao!
BRENT VALMONT: He'll be okay! He's just unconscious. Needs rest, though. I wouldn't move him. I'm into the station systems. I can seal that room, make it look packed with zombies on CCTV so the soldiers ignore it. I'll send a retrieval squad for Sam. You could hide with him. [gunfire in background] Better decide quick. Those soldiers are close, fighting their way through the zoms.Â
JANINE DE LUCA: We're carrying a USB tracker that pings at regular intervals, Mr. Valmont. A hostile army is massing nearby. If we remain anywhere for long, they will realize and descend. We cannot stay. Five, there's a fire escape outside. Head for it, then into the hills. Mr. Yao... Sam will be safer if we leave him, Five. I'm sorry, but we have no choice. Come on, move!
~
JANINE DE LUCA: Stay low, Five. Keep using the hills for cover. The comms station is well behind us. I hear no pursuit. The soldiers must still be searching it. We've lost Mr. Valmont's signal. Too far from the station. It's just us now. The others, our entire team, lost and scattered.
We've come so far, Five, across an unknown country with enemies at our back. We've faced unfamiliar zombies, super soldiers, aerial assaults. It has been... exhausting. Now we have to get to the border and the extraction point in time, with an army against us. Mr. Yao would tell us to have hope. We must honor him and Miss McShell and all those left behind. This is the final stretch, Five. Let's go.
