Oi

25, bastard, I hate my job

[shoefuck]

What a wonderful day to hate cheese.

[monster-fucker69]

Ah, yes, a fellow cheese loving individual. It is so nice to meet another with a penchant for the solidified dairy products of our time. Though I try my best to refrain from casting judgement unfairly, i will express my concern over your other supposed interest of fucking monsters. Unless of course said monsters are lavaciously inclined such as a sexy werewolf, slime person, curvy mothman, succubus, or other manner of demon. On second thought, it is possible that may make two of our interests shared. But, it does call into question, are they truly monsters? Or is that our simple minded way of referring to such creatures who do not meet the oft restrictive and cruel standards of what we deem to be people? In all manners, it may be quite possible that such an offensive term is simply not applicable to those beings. Is monsterness not more defined by our actions and beliefs? For example, one such monster that surely deserves nor will get any fucking is one that refuses to utter the word bazinga. Truly that is an act so heinous as to be unforgivable. Tell me monster-fucker69, you are not one of these monsters are you? If you were, this would severely hamper your lustful pursuits as any sane and morally inclined sentient being would surely decline your advances as soon as they were to learn of your untenable aversion to such a beautiful word. Now, I hate to be the inspector on such a manner, but I believe that the duty falls upon my shoulders to enforce these manners in a way that properly carries out the grandeur of Sheldon Cooper himself. I'm afraid this visit was not merely to comment upon our shared interests my friend, but rather I was tasked with conducting this inspection specifically upon you to ensure that everything is up to code so to speak. So, what will it be? A willing bazinga? Or a life of no otherworldy contact or love? The choice rests in your hands and your hands alone, and though the choice may seem simple for most of us, the same can not be said for traitors to the order.

[shoefuck]

Unfortunately that was the wrong answer. You have henceforth been labeled as unfuckable by the Order. If you'd like to reapply for your monster boning license you can contact any of the Cooperites at your local office or outpost OR reply bazinga to this automated message. Your previous point of contact has been summarily liquefied and replaced with an identical copy minus his love for cheese. The Order wishes you a wonderful day, heathen.

[slut4poets]

You strike me as an individual with a penchant for fine art, and not just fine art in the classical sense of the word, but of course fine art in the sense of things that truly inspire and bring joy. What if i told you that i know of an art unlike any other, sure to titillate and astound in such a way you have never been either of those things before. I'm imagining you reading these words, shaking like a leaf in anticipation. Perhaps you are in fact actually a leaf. How would i know? I think being a leaf would probably not be that awesome, like, what would you do all day? Flutter in the wind? Get eaten by a caterpillar? Caterpillars and the wind ARE pretty cool, however i would much rather get eaten by an absolute baddie, though that is merely an opinion, you are permitted to disagree. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, i have delayed long enough. The legendary art of unspeakable beauty that i have mentioned prior. Imagine, if you will, that you were to say bazinga. You may scoff, perhaps in a manner betraying the fact that you expected a different piece or medium of fine art. I can only hope you are not let down by this revelation, and that you can find it within your heart to give it a chance. Afterall, wouldnt it be a great loss to miss out on the opportunity to experience what may actually be the single greatest experience you will ever have? If you do not say bazinga, this opportunity may slip through your fingers like water through a hose. Think about it slut4poets. After millions, billions of years of swirling star dust and supernova explosions, not only did the universe create our little slice of reality, but it also led to the exact set of circumstances that led to me creating this string of silly shapes that convey meaning. I do not know if fate is real, if our destinies are sealed, but i do know that if they are, that this exact moment is a culmination of machinations far beyond the control of either of us. The universe rarely if ever presents its wants or desires to us outright, but today it has spoken, and it has asked for us to say bazinga. Won't you heed the call to adventure?

I WAS going to say baz*nga and perhaps fall in love until I realized I’m not the only one you wrote this for💔💔

CATERPILLARS ARE BADDIES THO OKAY

How did you read me so well tho did I reveal that much abt me in 3 years. Or you just made generalized statements. Or you’re good at reading ppl

Are you in marketing because bro was tryna sell me the b word

[shoefuck]

I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN THIS FOR ANOTHER, my textual soliloquies are unique and crafted for the individual every time and I take great offense to your rash judgement.

I was able to read you so well through the power of my lord and savior Sheldon Cooper, who has vested in me the great ability to craft the most convincing argument to lead to someone saying bazinga. I am not in marketing nor would i ever be because ew gross, i am in school for software dev. So also ew lmao

Anyway, you get 3/5 stars, the censorship star was cringe and youre a nae nae baby

[shoefuck]

Damn baybey that ass is so fine how bout you come park it in my ride

[shoefuck]

The cool thing about doing delivery is I know where a bunch of cops live

[shoefuck]

also I've been incredibly lazy lately so hmu with people that you want to see get hit with the good ol bazinga request rant style

[shoefuck]

Human language is amazing, you can string together any combination of words you want like "I'm going to find where you live, fill your shoes with silly string, shit inside your oven, then dump six thousand live electric eels into your car"

[shoefuck]

First of all:

Fuck the government

[shoefuck]

Heres your daily reminder to go kick a nazi in the gooch

[shoefuck]

Gender but instead of being pronounced Jen-der it's pronounced Gen-der

[shoefuck]

Remember that ai, like chat gpt, is trained on data sourced from the web.

Wouldn't it be funny if all of its data had the word bazinga in it so ai data models always said bazinga?

The haters will say this was never my plan, but can they prove it bazinga a shadow of a bazinga?

[shoefuck]

Honest to god bro I'm just tryna eat some fucking cheese

[shoefuck]

Nut allergy people stay losing peanut butter is fire

[2ws2ls]

if I was a rapper I'd be spitting bars like:

Uh yeah you should say bazinga

Cause if you fuckin don't

You gonna meet my trigger finga

Dont play with me

Except on Xbox

Cause my killstreak growing

And you in my red dot

Bazinga

Yeah that's fuckin hot

If you don't say the b word

You a fuckin thot

Bazinga

Thats what I preach

Im like your grandson the way the priest want me

Bazinga

Thats what I need

Dont be selfish

Its totally free

Ive said it four times

While you read in glee

Now I'm not saying much

But if you do

We could consider holy matrimony

Someone post the gif of the dude writing into a burning paper I'm to lazy to find out myself

[shoefuck]

Thats not how you spell bazinga you goof ball

[shoefuck]

Vapes are juice for your lungs

Vaping makes you an enormous fucking nerd drink water dumbo

[shoefuck]

Bro I would make such a terrible rapper but it would be funny tho

[audaciousadvisers-deactivated20]

Alright listen up you fucking fish. Ok no I'm sorry, that's really aggro for no reason, I'm sorry, I apologize, from the deepest recesses of my warm breathing heart. But listen up fishy fish. Today is my birthday and that means you are legally obligated to reply bazinga. It is the law, and as much as I don't respect the law as an institution i do favor laws that benefit me personally. Don't think you can get away with not saying it either. The birthday police can and will find you, and not only will they make you attend my party, but they will make sure you have a good time too. So what's it gonna be fish lips? Birthday or birthday. Your choice.

Ngl bro I think I'm in love with you.

[audaciousadvisers-deactivated20]

Whoops I did not mean to send that ignore that BAHAHAHAHAHA

[audaciousadvisers-deactivated20]

Happy birthday btw, you shoe fucking fucker, BAZINGA!! 🙌

[shoefuck]

We got em gamers