I often find myself frustrated at my inability to practice self-love when i also advocate for it all the time. why can't I just get over this? why is it that every human being on this planet has insecurities and most can live with them just fine while some of us are slowly killing ourselves to try to find peace? I am angry that I have spent so many years torturing the body that I can't seem to love when it has always deserved my appreciation. I am angry that I have spent so many years consumed by these thoughts and behaviors that promise to fix everything and yet change nothing. and you know what? that's okay.
I do not have to love every part of myself. I do not have to love every flaw, every bump and squish and scar and embarrassing moment that keeps me awake at night. I am not a lesser person because I do not love 100% of myself. I am not hypocritical or broken or alone. I am simply human-- a human with bumps and squishes and scars and embarrassing moments that keep me awake at night. I don't think every part of me is beautiful and amazing and perfect, and I also don't have to. I just have to know that I am, that I exist, and to sit with the fact that not everything is going to be the way I want it to be all of the time. Self love is not a dichotomy of either you do or you don't, nor can it only be found once you love and accept every part of yourself. it is found in knowing that you have worth, that you are loved, despite everything. unconditionally.
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