Gab

20 Im not an alien

[shrimpjelly]

My thoughts consist of hating myself, hating everything else, the inevitable decay of our environment & societal collapse that is quickly becoming a bigger concern day by day, & epic transformer autobot decepticon smackdowns.

[shrimpjelly]

Why is geology the loser of the sciences? Like geologists are always getting shit on & i feel bad for them. No way you are the dork of the dork community, how much more lame can you get dude oh my god.

[shrimpjelly]

My boyfriend is my last stand against like, i dunno, the world. Fuck everybody else except him.

[shrimpjelly]

My boss: can you find the bucket of glue i brought for this job? I just bought some & i have no idea where i put it

Me who just ate the whole bucket of weird smelling buttercream: glue?

[shrimpjelly]

Sometimes the day pulls every ounce of will left in my very small reserve & i wonder why i even still move forward, then i put my headphones on & cuddle my cat & i completely forget what i was griping about before. like get a load of this emo, fucking loser who can’t handle a 9-5 work day

[shrimpjelly]

Being alive is weird. Who is everyone? Who am i? What the hell am i doing here why do i have to do taxes why can’t i just be a cat who gets mad at people & shits in their shoes?

[shrimpjelly]

Is it bad that the silence of a dead, bullet ridden mind calls to me every night from the hushed whispers that flicker through the red flashing alarms that have no off button in my head?

Im not gonna do anything obviously im too much of a coward to even think of buying a gun but like i hope when i die its nothing after cuz idk if i have the energy to do this shit again.

[shrimpjelly]

Anxiety is so stupid because what do you mean. Like in general

[shrimpjelly]

My biggest enemy is my mouth. Cuz i think of something to say & then everytime it comes out as fucking gibberish & i look like an executable fool of a fat king. Like SHUT UP BRO i WILL beat you within an inch of your life.

[shrimpjelly]

Why am i the funniest person on earth when its just me? Like why can’t these super powers kick in when im around other people? As if i have a secret identity that i dont want to keep hidden.

[shrimpjelly]

Im always the last to laugh in a room because im slow. So ive just started laughing if everyone else is laughing even if i didnt hear the joke.

My biggest fear is someone tryna bounce a joke off of me tho, like where they say something & then want me to respond with someone even funnier. Everytime that has happened every nerve in my body has short circuited & then i projectile vomit everywhere. Like heres your joke dude, please never talk to me again.

[shrimpjelly]

Everytime i see someone parked like a douchebag i imagine in my head lifting their car with my bare hands & throwing it into walmart. Might as well have parked there intially cuz ur sideways on a handicapped & babystroller designated spot as if this world is your oyster. Its not your oyster, i’m gonna pummel your oyster bro.