“ why does anyone doubt anything, james? ” – they don’t want it to be true.
denial. an abnormally powerful state of mind. whether by grief or logic, the result is frequently the same. given what sherlock has just done, it wasn’t surprising that even the consulting criminal was prone to it.
the detective shifts then, almost as if suddenly agitated, and expels a harsh breath.
what part of this energy is from guilt, and what from exasperation? can’t you see? you, of all people, why can’t you just…
“ i’m telling you to leave - get to safety. you can’t… ” – stay here – “ for god’s sake, jim… you don’t think my brother won’t send agents to my flat?! just because the information came from me, doesn’t mean he won’t keep me out of it. ” in fact, the younger holmes almost counted on it, judging by the knowing looks mycroft had given him recently.
what remained unspoken? – i don’t want to watch the consequences of my betrayal.
cotton fills his lungs as he drowns in the situation. the slow, toiling heat of ire rises in jim’s body, undetectable in everything but the crescents he scores into his palms. he rolls his head around, releasing the tension resting on his neck. anger is now steam, its curling, white whips clouding vision and judgement, sucking the man in further and further. idiots, the both of them were. of course there was a fuck up, of course sherlock would be irkingly self righteous, of course this wasn’t going to work, of course mycroft would be here, of course of course of course ––––
jim blinks, and everything seems to cool down, a new type of chilling pique evicting the blazing rage that was there a moment ago.
‘ no. ’ ––– i will not leave. he brings his hands and fingers to his lips (where another’s recently took refuge), taking a deep breath in as he stared at the detective. while this is hardly the best time to smile, jim still curls the edge of his lip as he breathes out. ‘ i’m counting on it. ’ you do not get to redeem yourself.
jim grips sherlock’s chin, dragging him down for damning kiss.
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