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AIGHT THERE WAS ONE LAST THING I RLLY WANTED TO ADD!!! it was the fear gas motive?? i think i have the right chapters anyways!!! so i had three major hallucinations planned the first one being katashi and all lmao
second was dealing with isolation!! so, like everything around her disappears. she's just in a black void and she tries to speak but can't hear herself, she cant hear anything. she wanders around aimlessly just trying to find something or someone and is basically screaming at this point bcus she's alone and doesn't know if anyone knows she's there/real anymore. feeds a lot into her own sense of not knowing if ppl kno that she’s alive/exists and just constantly feels lonely and whatnot so whoop
third she sees her mother. just kinda standing there Staring at her and she's frozen in Fear. And her mom's face is, like, distorted and she can tell her mom is opening her mouth and she can't tell what she wants and kinda starts backing away to try and run bcus she's panicking since she can tell she disappointed her mom but isn't too sure how to fix it but then she realizes she's not facing her mom as her actual self, but she's facing her as Hime. her mom doesn't recognize her and Hime is afraid of her mom finding out about her idol stuff bcus her mom is incredibly strict. so she basically starts clawing at her face to get rid of her make up, throwing off her wig, basically just doing what she can to look like otome instead of hime because she can’t have her mother looking at her like this and ye
so here are some of my (super) late thoughts on otome/hime and just me answering questions no one asked!! also some bonus post game info on her mom bcus why not?
Did Otome feel things for people?
Yes! She really did feel a familial sense of love for both Katashi and Gorou. With Katashi it was the idea that there was someone so very similar to her in the respect that their persona/character was loved but they were not. She didn’t appreciate that he didn’t seem to appreciate Komet the same way she did to Hime but you live and you learn. Throughout the game I did my best to have her reference Katashi at least once during each chapter because 1) it felt right 2) it really was bizarre to her that someone understood her. She also did romanticize a lot of that though after his death. For Gorou he was the first person she was more herself around. Like, legit they could just talk and be cool and she felt pretty safe with him. Part of me thinks it’s because Gorou was, at least in her/my opinion, so unapologetically himself without having to be so reactive and whatnot?? Like, it was just chill and casual and Otome responds well to that. With Tim she didn’t care for him, but for the attention he gave her and everything so whoops!!
Why kill Suzume?
That was a last minute decision on my part but it worked well for her character because Otome wasn’t a monster. For the most part she was a normal girl in an emotionally abusive and restrictive household. I added the character of Suzume to her backstory because if not then she wouldn’t be able to be exposed to idols and she would have A Lot more issues! Killing Suzume was basically Otome telling herself its all or nothing because she for sure wasn’t going to return to her normal life after Akedo, even if she did succeed.
Her end goal?
This is weird because it changed midway through as I figured out more of who Otome/Hime was as a character. Initially, it was a sorta promotional thing? Like, if she could have the world drowning in despair and only have Hime as this bright beacon, then all the Gross Stuff wouldn’t happen since people would have no choice but to keep that light pure and bright - at least that’s what she thought. I think when she realized she was losing, she just wanted to cause as much pain as possible and drag people down to her level. How could they be proud of their talents or of themselves when they couldn’t save their “friends”? Plus she could just prove how alive and real she is which was important to her since she lived without anyone really knowing her. IDK, Otome’s weird.
Execution.
I was tired. I had written the last part of her confession and couldn’t get the energy to hurt her anymore because I love her too much. There was symbolism there and whatnot but oh boy I couldn’t write to save my life.
3 Apparent Personalities
OKAY SO LIKE!!! Hime/Otome/Courtroom&Mastermind-chan are basically 1 girl playing 2 other characters. How I liked to think of it:
the idol: Hime - a mix of anime idols that i like, lmao, but essentially a character that Otome plays who’s supposed to be cute, ditsy, and fun! The type of girl who always has a sparkling smile!
the idle: Otome - the girl herself! She’s no one special and knows it!! The indifference thing wasn’t so much an act as it was her protecting herself. Any time she majorly broke character (crying publicly or that one time she yelled and did a swear at Jack) was her! Her default is being
the ideal: Courtroom&Mastermind-chan - a Very Bad extreme caused by the Gross Stuff. She’s the ideal because this is more or less what her mother wanted, someone smart and proud! Still a character Otome plays because it’s easier to say the things she wants to when she doesn’t have to use herself.
I broke it down into three characters/parts because this is also how Otome sees herself! If she can organize her thoughts/feelings/actions like this then it’s easier for her to move forward and whatnot.
Was her mom that bad?
Lmao yes! She isolated Otome and only really interacted with her when she deemed it necessary. She chose her friends for her based on grades and used them to motivate Otome to be better. In Azumi’s defense though, she actually really did love Otome was was just being overbearing and overprotective because backstory reasons.
So that post game/during game info tho about Azumi:
I can really only talk about her mom which is fine because it’s still halfway important to me! At the beginning of the game, Azumi wasn’t fully convinced that her daughter was even part of it. Otome said she got in as the SHSL Software Engineer or something like that idk it was computer related and no one looked like her daughter. Plus, Azumi can’t imagine Otome lying to her. She didn’t pay too much attention to the livestream but occasionally checked. But Georgie!! Isn’t it too suspicious? Is Azumi that dumb? Nah, y’all she’s just really good at being in denial. Eventually (chapter 3 trial) Azumi realizes that yes her worst fear is coming true Otome is Hime! That mannerism, that voice, that’s the Otome she raised (the ideal). She goes down to the city, like any good parent would, but doesn’t speak to anyone there or interact much. She doesn’t let anyone know who her child is because that’s embarrassing. Her daughter? Her genius of a daughter? Being an idol? A ditsy girl too concerned about keeping up appearances and not with escaping? How awful... She worries about her but more so about her keeping this Hime girl separate from Otome Ito. Game goes on and she’s upset with how expressive and different Otome/Hime is from the daughter she raised. She cries so much, she smiles so much, she laughs and acts to carefree... It leaves a really bad taste in her mouth. She’s also super concerned about the friends Otome’s making (2 murderers and a psychic). Watching Otome set up the trap for Shozo and Timothy, she was scared. Scared it would blow up in Otome’s face and scared she would get caught. She could hear the whispers from other parents about their own mastermind suspect. Of course it could be her daughter, but like hell she wants to believe it. Anyways, everything happens and mastermind trial. Where tf did Otome get a gun?! How could Otome even hide something like that?! Watching her daughter just pour out her feelings for everyone to see made Azumi want to vomit. It made her sick. Not just because she was being called out and blamed. Not just because she sees the abuse her daughter went through. But this is far from the daughter she raised. Who is- or was Otome Ito? Azumi Ito needs to know. She reaches out to the survivors to set up meetings to try and understand this. She can’t go on without understanding just what happened. She stays as cold as she possibly can because showing too much emotion is admitting defeat and ye!!
but ye!! this is all i got for now but i know i’ll think of other stuff to add lmao
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