aroace arborvitae

icon by @aroaesflags 💚 arborvitae is a tree meaning everlasting friendship 💜 aro/ace/aspec sideblog | about/dni

[tastylemonbread]

[nat-20s]

sorry y'all but I think Not Dating kind of rules actually. I well and truly can in fact do whatever I want forever

[valtsv]

funniest response you can give to someone telling you they love you: "skill issue"

[valtsv]

context for this post before the self loathing comments start btw

[geyfrog]

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

[astriiformes]

To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.

[astriiformes]

Sorry you almost had to entertain the idea that people like me exist, I'm sure that was very painful for you.

[astriiformes]

This post has officially reached the "Let people enjoy things" crowd so I'm just going to come right and say it: Do I or do I not also count as a people.

[ladyofthebookcase]

hello allo person in a fandom. let’s play a game. in front of you are two characters. your challenge is to okay and you’ve already started shipping them. well the crusher machine is going to activate now goodbye.

[aromantic-diaries]

"everyone should get more aromantic" can appeal to tumblr's sensibilities but I genuinely think everyone should also get more asexual. I don't mean everyone stop having sex, what I mean is

Sex is not essential. You can live without it. Full stop.

Not having sex isn't shameful or a sign of failure. It also doesn't make anyone boring.

You are not entitled to having sex with anybody and nobody is entitled to having sex with you.

Sex is not what makes someone an adult.

Nobody's worth is defined by how much sex they have or don't have.

Sex is not equally important to everyone.

You can have fulfilling and happy relationships without sex.

You should only have sex on your own terms, not because you feel like you owe it to someone, or because you feel like you'd be incomplete without it.

Know your boundaries around sex and be firm about them. Know how to respect other people's boundaries.

The previous point also applies when it comes to discussing sex. If someone doesn't wanna talk about it or hear about it you have to back down.

Anything can be sexual but not everything has to be sexual.

[chaifootsteps]

Firmly convinced the world would be a better place if we started treating sex the way we'd treat any other mundane preference in life, like what kind of chips a person likes to eat with their lunch.

[itscoldinwonderland]

Deconstruct your amatonormativity!!

Take yourself out on dates. Go to the movie theater alone. Go out to eat alone. Enjoy life alone, it's okay. Enjoy life with friends. Take you're friends out on dates. Have sex with people you don't love. Have sex with people you don't want to marry. Have friends with benefits and hook ups and one night stands and situationships. Never have sex. Never get married. Marry your best friend. Kiss your friends. Date multiple people. When people say you'll never be happy alone kill them with hammers 🔨🔨🔨🔨. Live alone with several pets. Be happy. Be free. Do you.

[anistarrose]

my futile wish is for people to understand that "sex scenes in movies/TV don't have to serve the plot and can genuinely just be for pleasure" and "sex-repulsed people are allowed to complain about how rare it is for media made for adults like them to be something they can enjoy completely" are both true statements. unfortunately society hates both sex and people who don't like sex, so everyone gets far too defensive about any sex or lack thereof in fiction to actually have this conversation

[arowitharrows]

as an aro I always have a little ball of rage inside of me and it wants to devour the world. just so you're aware

[yossyislandd]

shoots you with my cupid arrow but you lowkey die

[what-even-is-thiss]

Online spaces have almost always been where asexual and aromantic people meet each other and organize. This is why the major online campaigns against us around ten years ago were so destructive.

It’s easy to say that cyber bullying doesn’t matter in the real world or whatever but targeted online bullying campaigns have the power to wreck entire communities and support networks.

It’s difficult to just turn off your computer when all the people who relate to this aspect of your life are in there.

I’ve definitely met other asexual and arospec people irl but it’s quite rare. And real life queer spaces are in fact often bars or kink spaces. And like bully for you if you like kink or alcohol or romance but when your entire identity is based around not feeling the feelings often associated with romance and/or sex that’s not always super fun.

And people got relentlessly mocked for bringing up this issue. Shut down. Called childish. Like okay. Fuck us for wanting a sober non sexual spot to meet other queers, right? So childish for wanting options.

I’ve been involved in the online asexual community and doing education about asexuality and aromanticism in both irl and online queer spaces for almost fourteen years now and that short period of time around 2016-2018 took a wrecking ball to my people that I feel like we’ve still barely recovered from and I’m still angry about it.

I think asexual pirates should come back. This time they’re here for your ass. And not sexually.

[what-even-is-thiss]

They killed our dragon and cake memes. The aro and ace dragon hoards are dead. But you know what? I survived and I’m the online version of a cockroach after a nuclear blast. I never forget.

[completely-sane-scientist]

[aromanticsky]

“marriage is a legal document that protects you, you’ve gotta decouple it in your brain from romance and amatonormativity” the fact that marriage is a legal document that protects and privileges you (that, might I add, generally isn’t valid without romance+sex) is LITERALLY amatonormativity. A legal status that privileges people in monogamous long-term romantic-sexual relationships IS AMATONORMATIVITY. That is *what it was coined to talk about.*

[roguedeer]

Being asexual and racist is embarassing as fuck. Being racist at all is obviously embarassing as fuck but the amount of racism and especially antiblackness i have been seeing from asexuals recently is obscene.

One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.

And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.

Edit: why are you all too scared to repost this. Cmon. Be vocal about being against racism

[imjunebitch]

we SHOULD have more shipping content with arospec and acespec characters actually because almost none of the shit we have now is actually that, its writing them as allo and then saying "whaaaat nooooo they can be in relationships tooooo" why dont you try writing the aro character in a romantic partnership as actually being aromantic but partnering that is way more fucking interesting

[poorlemons]

every character is aromantic if you can truly believe