UHHH what do u think abt izuru or Hinata..
I’ll talk about them both.
Hinata-kun exists as a complete antithesis to my ideology! Someone who was once just as worthless as myself rising to become the Ultimate Hope… I can barely contain myself at the thought. Nonetheless, his presence also supports my ideology. It was his unerring and boundless hope that both launched the world into chaos and revived it from that despair. I’ve never met someone as pure as him. I feel honored to be allowed to breathe the same air as someone so beautifully crafted.
To be honest, I’ve always been a bit jealous of him… haha. Even in the simulation when we were under the impression he had forgotten his talent, he opened up to the others with relative ease. His levelheadedness is something I’ve always desired—the ability to stay true to himself no matter how harrowing the situation may be. A true protagonist, so to speak. I would give anything to be like that. At times, I selfishly wished for someone to attempt to kill him so I could witness the hope that would bloom from such a despair-inducing death. I often thought about it being me!
In fact, he was the one I planned to kill before Imposter-san foiled my plans. Everyone perceived us to be quite close, so what would they do upon discovering that I murdered him in cold blood? Would they begin to suspect those they once thought they could trust? If I could have a complete 180, what was stopping everyone else from doing something similar?
Alas, that is not how everything played out. I truly don’t mind, though! The despair I felt when Hinata-kun rejected me alongside our other classmates after Hanamura-kun’s trial led to a unique form of hope. Whenever he allowed someone as useless as me to have his attention—even if it were only the shortest eye contact—I felt extraordinary blessed by the gods. As long as it doesn’t interfere with the hope I have set out for us, I would do anything he asks.
He was the first person to ever tolerate my true self. From the beginning, I sensed that he had no talent, but I still found myself entertaining the idea for the sole reason that I could tell a bright hope laid dormant inside of him. Maybe some part of me wished to be the one to awaken it.
No matter what happened, I couldn’t stop myself from caring for him. Even upon the perceived truth that he was a meaningless, Reserve Course Remnant, I harbored an intense feeling of warmth towards Hinata-kun. Perhaps I was subconsciously aware of his actual status as the ultimate hope!… Just kidding. Someone as worthless as myself could never hope to have that kind of foresight.
As much as he hated me when I would call it out, him and I were more alike than ever in those days where his status had been revealed. Cursed to stand outside of the shining stars we yearned to be. Only, I accepted my status as lowly and insignificant, meant only to boost those who had earned their place in life. He hadn’t. I admired that in a way… to be so horribly blind to the dog eat dog world we inhabited.
It’s blurry, but I remember when I first met him as Kamukura-kun. For the first time in my life, my luck had been outmatched. What I felt then was indescribable, but I can recall feeling it—albeit, a more twisted version—when we met after that. I suppose it was a feeling of luck, but different from what I usually feel. Hah… like some embarrassed schoolgirl conversing with the upperclassman she’s been crushing on for years. When we talked on the boat to Jabberwock Island, he indulged my ramblings, and for that I am forever grateful.
While I was only dreaming, the way he rescued me from my “illusionary world”… It makes me feel giddy. The “me” that existed there was delusional and more disgusting than my current self, blissfully unaware of the true nature of things. I remember the smile he gave me during our last discussion before I awoke, and I remember the smile that led me to awake. It’s one I hope to never forget.
I feel as if I’ve barely scratched the surface, but I’m afraid that Hinata-kun is going to give me a scary look if I go on any longer… Forgive me for my cowardice. Haha.
