lets mix it up!

one day you are fine and then the next you finally feel the burn in your throat stay safe sister {A SIDEBLOG CONNECTED WITH SHSLBEE} [SHSL TOXICOLOGIST FOR DESPAIR CASTLE 2] (!still roleplays with indies!)

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Cash or check? [- starter for shslpoison -]

[shslreadallaboutit]

Etsuko’s face flushed a bright red. She was not expecting this from the dame, but hey, she hadn’t expected her brother to show up out of nowhere and get her off the streets all those years ago. Just because she wasn’t expecting something didn’t mean it couldn’t be the eel’s damn hips. 

As she began to speak, she realized she was stammering more than she should be. Goddamnit, Etsuko.This isn’t very cool of you at all, you know?Keep calm. You’re supposed to be a damn hit with the ladies. You’re a badass, hardboiled, investigator, busting up crime rings like it’s nobody’s business. And this tiny beautiful gem of a girl is able to make her blush and think happy thoughts and… oh, fuck it. Just try your best and try not to sound like too much of an idiot, Kurosawa. 

"I… I’m pretty damn sure I’m happy to hear that, doll." she mumbled, drawing Hanako closer. "I guess, if I g-give you the whole and honest scoop, I think I’ve b-been carrying a torch for you for a while, if you savvy…" 

[shslpoison-blog]

[Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst.]

Hanako couldn't help but to smile, looking up to Etsuko with shining eyes. Her saying that she had feelings for Hanako as well simply made her extremely happy. It was as if she was embraced with everything good in the world (mostly Etsuko).

[Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. Certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love.]

"I...I really really love you, Etsuko...! I love you a lot...I want to be with you and to stay with you and--" If only she wasn't so short, if only she was taller, if only...if only...

[The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate); companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.]

"Can you....can you please..." Her voice was much more softer, almost like mumbling. "Can you please kiss me, Etsuko...?"

[shslreadallaboutit]

Cash or check? [- starter for shslpoison -]

[shslreadallaboutit]

Etsuko gasped slightly at the embrace. She certainly hadn’t been expecting this, it came as a total surprise. A pleasant surprise, of course, but a surprise nonetheless. After her initial instinctive tensing, she relaxed into the hug, holding Hanak close to her. 

She could feel the warmth of the other girl’s body against hers, and she wanted nothing more than to hold her in her arms like this and protect her forever. In that instant, she was completely sure of two things. Firstly, that Hanako was alive and breathing and wonderful, and secondly, that she would do anything to make sure she stayed that way. 

The words she heard made her heart feel like shattering into tiny little pieces and then whirling around her head. “You’re not silly, doll.” she murmured soothingly. “You’re the absolute berries, got it? The cat’s pyjamas, and if anyone’s words are lovely, they’re yours, kiddo, capiche?” 

[shslpoison-blog]

Hanako held the other's hands gently. It was soothing to her, especially with all these thoughts running through her head. She wanted to melt into a puddle of happiness and warmth, definitely caused by Etsuko's voice and words.

"Ah...." She couldn't help but to give a silly grin, moving closer to her in the process. Her face was burning, but did she mind that? No. Because she was with Etsuko, the amazing beautiful Etsuko.

"W-Wanna...hear something super silly? I like you a whole ton. Like...ever since I saw you...S-Sorry, I must be blabbering things that you might not want to hear..."

[coolmummyguy-deactivated2014081]

[shslreadallaboutit]

Cash or check? [- starter for shslpoison -]

[shslreadallaboutit]

Etsuko blushed a bright red. She was not used to these compliments. She was used to being called tough, fast, smart, brave. But sweet? This was something new. And she quite liked it. She liked the idea that this wonderful, wonderful girl would think something like that about her. 

Unconsciously moving slightly closer to the other girl, Etsuko smiled, her eyes sparkling with happiness. Not really knowing what she wanted to do with her hands, apart from the images that continually came unbidden into her head of her hands around Hanako, of her hand’s in Hanako’s own, of her hands stroking Hanako’s hair, she let them hang awkwardly by her sides. 

"Aww, doll. You’re the real sweetheart here, you know that? That’s a damn swell thing of you to say, doll. You’re pretty hotsy-totsy yourself, you know? Like I said, cute as a damn gold button and twice as precious, savvy?"

[shslpoison-blog]

All these beautiful words coming out of Etsuko's mouth was driving her insane. Her throat was feeling dried up, a sign of incoming tears. It was a dumb thing to do, crying happily because someone sees you as a special thing in their eyes, but she has always been that way.

Oh no, she needed to hide these tears. What if she thought she was sad? Hanako was definitely feeling the opposite of that right now, but miscommunication is a real thing. How to hide it? She couldn't possibly dare run, no doubt about it. Hiding it in her hands is another terrible idea as well. Maybe she could just...

Without much thought to it, Hanako quickly embraced Etsuko, just trying to drown herself in the other's presence. She felt so warm, so soft, she really wanted to keep it that way. Etsuko was just too perfect, and that's what is making her cry.

"I-I'm sorry, I just-- I really love your words I love them so much--" Hiccup. "I get so so emotional over this, it's really silly b-but wow I feel like I am on cloud nine...!" Another hiccup.

Taking a step back from the embrace, she quickly took Etsuko's hands in hers, looking at her straight in the eye, even if things went a bit blurry.

"You are truly w-wonderful, okay!"

This was simply too cheesy! What was this?!

[shslreadallaboutit]

Cash or check? [- starter for shslpoison -]

[shslreadallaboutit]

When Etsuko felt the soft, gentle touch of Hanako’s lips on her cheeks, her face flushed a bright red and she stood stock still, stunned for a moment before smiling with a smile that probably looked stupid and totally uncool, but perhaps just this once, with this girl, it wasn’t the end of the world if she wasn’t a hundred percent cool.

Putting her hands behind her back, she looked around awkwardly, stammering slightly but still smiling nervously. Of course, that was a friendly kiss, the kind of thing that friends did, nothing more. Right. Keep telling yourself that, Etsuko. “D-don’t be sorry, doll. It’s not like you’ve got anything to thank me for, anyway, ya know? I’d be a damned palooka if I let anything happen to a berries dame like you, doll.” 

The feeling of the other girl’s lips on her cheeks was still fresh in Etsuko’s mind, and for some reason she was finding it hard to think about anything else as she fidgeted slightly, eventually resolving to remove her shades and look directly into Hanako’s eyes. Pretty eyes, too. 

[shslpoison-blog]

Hanako twirled a piece of her hair in an attempt to distract herself from doing any other crazy things. She was lucky once, but who says that luck will always be on her side? That type of worrying thought bugged her immensly, but with Etsuko in the mix, it seemed alright. Everything was amazing when Etsuko was around.

She began to think about how it would feel like to kiss the tip of her nose, her forehead, her chin, her-- Ugh! No! This was strictly platonic! But...experiments can't harm anyone right? Maybe soon, maybe soon she could ask...

"Th-That's really sweet of you to say. Incredibly sweet! Like strawberries and soft candy!" She gave a small chuckle, easing herself a bit. "If you were a type of candy, I'd love to have a taste of you! That's just how sweet you are..."

That sounded alright, correct? Hopefully she wasn't going overboard, but she just really wanted to express how much the other meant to her. Maybe she could write a letter later or something...

"A-Ah! That must've sounded weird...I hope you are alright with me saying that, Etsuko!"

[shslreadallaboutit]

Cash or check? [- starter for shslpoison -]

[shslreadallaboutit]

Seeing the other girl beam at her, Etsuko couldn’t help but smile back, her cheeks flushing slightly. Had she made Hanako smile like that? She could barely believe it, but she was glad. The idea of the toxicologist not smiling, of her being upset or scared or worried was almost painful to Etsuko now that she thought about it. 

Moving closer to Hanako, she put a hand on her shoulder. A friendly hand. That was it. Friendly. That was what she was being right now. Definitely. Slightly sheepishly, she spoke, slightly flustered and not entirely sure what to say to keep looking cool and aloof and tough and everything she was supposed to be. 

"D-don’t worry your pretty little head about me, kiddo." Wait, did she really just call her pretty? Damn, that slipped out. Oh well, she could have said worse. She squeezed Hanako’s shoulder slightly, blushing, before continuing. "Good to know I’ve got someone as darb as you looking out for me. I feel safer already."

And the funniest thing was, she did.  

[shslpoison-blog]

You know how the french kiss eachother's cheeks in a friendly matter? It was polite and almost courteous, and in no way connected with actual attraction. It was simply a greeting. Yeah, that's it. A friendly way to say hello. No way connected. Platonic it was for sure.

Maybe the worst of her ideas yet, but she went for it. It was so weird, there was a hand on her shoulder, Etsuko's hand that is. Was she blushing? Oh god, what did she do. Why was she blushing? It looked so cute that Hanako honestly wanted to cry right there. She sheepishly planted a kiss on both of Etsuko's cheeks, seemingly innocent, no double meaning behind it! God, if the worst happened right now, please let Hanako perish.

"I--I am sorry that was so sudden...--" Make up a good excuse, you can do it Hanako. Don't you dare mess this up! "Th-That was umm...That was for thanks. Thanks for being here...Thanks for checking me up...Yeah yeah--"

She pulled it off, as swift as a butterfly. So smooth! Hanako just wanted to bury herself, preferably 30 meters below. But...Etsuko's cheeks were so soft...They really are so soft...

[shslreadallaboutit]

Cash or check? [- starter for shslpoison -]

[shslreadallaboutit]

Etsuko suddenly became acutely aware of how not cool she’d just been. Needing to talk to people? That wasn’t what she was supposed to be like. She was cool, aloof, above all that, right? But the prospect of going back to her room and being cool instead of staying here and talking to Hanako seemed awfully unattractive.

Hell, maybe she’d rather be happy than cool for once. Hanako wouldn’t mind, Etsuko hoped. She didn’t seem like the sort of person who would mind that kind of thing. However, she didn’t want to lose image. Crossing her arms, she stood still, hoping that her hair looked good spilling from underneath her hat. 

Hanako’s hair sure looked good, cute as a button as usual. Wait, did Etsuko really just think that? Hastily setting that thought aside and hoping her slight blush wasn’t too noticeable on her freckled face, she replied, trying and failing to sound casual. 

"As long as you’re jake, doll, everything’s the cat’s pyjamas. And I’m fine, thanks for asking. You’re a real Blue Serge, you know that?" she smiled. "Nothing going to happen to either of us, I hope. If anyone sets their mind on bumping you off, I’ll be sure to thump them right in the kisser."

[shslpoison-blog]

Oh goodness gracious, did Etsuko just complimented her? A cool girl like Etsuko thought of her such way? Her heart began to ache, and as a natural reflex, she wrapped her arms around her herself. 

[Dopamine - Also activated by cocaine and nicotine. Norepinephrine - Otherwise known as adrenalin. Starts us sweating and gets the heart racing. Serotonin - One of ████'s most important chemicals and one that may actually send us temporarily insane.]

No! She can manage! Silly words! Words coming from Etsuko, the really pretty and admiring girl who made her feel much safer, how could it affect her this much?! Taking small breaths, she managed to get herself under control once again. Stupid monoamines...

"Y-You too, Etsuko--!" It was so hard for her to not continue on, silly stupid words of hers are probably not that important anyways. "If you were ever gone-- Ah! I can't even dare think of it...I promise to keep you safe, even if I can't really do much myself...!" Hanako beamed at her, finally going back to her normal posture again. That was pretty embarrassing, wasn't it?

[shslreadallaboutit]

Cash or check? [- starter for shslpoison -]

Etsuko had seen plenty of deaths in her life. A few had happened in front of her. She personally liked to think of herself as tough. Hardboiled. Cool. But damn, that had shaken her. The beekeeper had seemed… well she hadn’t seemed like the kind of person to do what she’d done, at least. 

Seeing the girl break down like she had at the trial, coldly narrate the awful thing she’d done, and then that death… it was probably the most nauseating she’d ever seen. Not because it was gory, no, but because it was so…

Unnecessary. Pointlessly extravagant. Set up for someone’s sick amusement. It all felt… wrong. She hadn’t gone back to her room. She didn’t want to be alone with what she’d seen. She’d been walking around the castle, hoping to find someone she could talk to, when she spotted the doll she’d talked to, Hanako, that was her name. 

Waving as cheerily as she could manage, she called out. “Hey, doll. You all right?”

[shslpoison-blog]

Blood was definitely not one of the things Hanako enjoyed viewing. Honey? Honey was okay. Honey produced from flowers of oleanders, rhododendrons, mountain laurels, sheep laurel, and azaleas may cause honey intoxication. Symptoms include dizziness, weakness, excessive perspiration, nausea, and vomiting. Less commonly, low blood pressure, shock, heart rhythm irregularities, and convulsions may occur, with rare cases resulting in death.

God no, she had to stay calm. Calm for everyone else in this castle. Just take some deep breaths, Hanako. You can take it.

Honey intoxication is more likely when using "natural" unprocessed honey and honey from farmers who may have a small number of hives. Commercial processing, with pooling of honey from numerous sources, is thought to dilute any toxins...--.

"H-Huh..?"

Hanako looked up from her less than happy state, facing the more familiar girl, Etsuko. Her face suddenly brightened red. Did she look okay? Was her hair parted correctly? Did Etsuko notice her less than joyous mood? She hoped not, she really wanted for the other to not see her in these positions.

"Y-Yeah I am alright! No need to worry much about me! I can manage..." She rubbed her cheek unconsciously, as if soothing herself. "Are you okay, though? You are the important one here, and if anything happens to you I-I'll try my best to help!"

[shslreadallaboutit]

Load of goddamn bushwa [- Despair Castle Two Open RP / Motive Reaction -]

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Etsuko crossed her arms in a rather pathetic attempt to seem casual and upbeat as she fought to keep tears back. She knew she probably wasn’t fooling anyone, but she had to try. She didn’t want to upset this girl, who’d been so friendly and nice to her when they’d met, after all. 

When the other girl put her arms around Etsuko, she gasped in surprise. She hadn’t been expecting this, but that didn’t mean it was unwelcome. Although she didn’t like to admit such things to herself, Etsuko really needed a damn hug right now. 

Shaking, not entirely trusting herself to speak without breaking into sobs, gently extending her arms to return the embrace, resting her head lightly on the other girl’s shoulder as she fought back tears. She couldn’t cry in front of someone she knew, that was even worse than crying in front of a stranger. 

[shslpoison-blog]

Hanako really wanted her to feel better, especially since the other girl was shaking and not even daring to speak. Taking a deep breath, she decided to go for the worst and to try to communicate with her.

"It's...It's okay...I am here and everything will be okay..."

Was it true though? Anyone could snap and kill someone else, and it could happen anytime and anywhere. She shouldn't be saying these things, they were terrible lies.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't lie..." She held her a bit tighter, just wanting to keep this moment. "Please talk to me...I am so very worried for you..."

[shslreadallaboutit]

Load of goddamn bushwa [- Despair Castle Two Open RP / Motive Reaction -]

[shslreadallaboutit]

Etsuko saw the poisoner girl that she’d met when she first arrived walking towards her, and tried very hard to make herself really care. She liked the dame, she was nice enough, kind of shy, cute as a button, but right now, she needed all of her focus to keep herself together and not cry. 

Her voice quivering slightly, and hating herself for it, Etsuko spoke up. “I-I’m fine, doll… I-I’m feeling the cat’s goddamn pyjamas, alright? D-don’t w-worry about me…”

Every word she spoke brought her closer to tears but she couldn’t cry because crying was weak and pathetic and that wasn’t her she couldn’t cry she wasn’t allowed to cry she knew that she’d always known that she couldn’t cry.  

"I-I’m good thanks, dame…" she muttered, her voice nearly cracking as she put all of her energy into being tough and strong and Etsuko. 

[shslpoison-blog]

It was terrible to see her this way, the girl who she always saw as cool and strong was actually breaking. Or was it really breaking..? She had to do something about this killing motive thing, it wasn't something that should be taken very lightly! But, what could she do after all? 

Hanako was so confused as to what to do right now. Should she comfort her? Should she leave her be? She was always taught to leave things be, to let time go on and do it's work. But it was so painful to see this.

She slowly went over to embrace her as delicately as she can, not even daring to say anything, fearing she might yell at her or something. That usually happens, with other people however...and it can happen again.

[zerostatereflex]

[mucholderthen]

Supahcute Science Fair!  via zerostatereflex

"Supahcute Science Fair invited 12 artists to prove that art can be both fun and educational. …."

Artwork by: Michael Fleming

[shslreadallaboutit]

Load of goddamn bushwa [- Despair Castle Two Open RP / Motive Reaction -]

The instant Etsuko heard that rage-inducing voice announce its ridiculous excuse for a motive, she laughed it off. What could he have taken? She’d initially ignored the bear. Apparently he wanted people to bump each other off, and that worried Etsuko. 

With the alternative of being trapped in this castle forever, it was seeming worryingly likely that someone would try it; Etsuko had seen people stabbed or shot for less. 

And as soon as she gently patted her pocket, she panicked. Her journal was gone, the tiny little book bound in red leather with the beautiful gold lining, the colour of her brother’s robes because it was her brother that gave it to her and oh God where was it no no no no no. 

She forced herself to breathe. Stay calm dame. Keep it cool. Everything’s going to be Jake. But her journal… the one where she kept all of her ideas, her thoughts, the thing that cost her brother thousands and thousands of yen to buy for her, the thing that reminded her that no matter how hard it was for him to show it, he still loved her.

It was gone. She could feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. She couldn’t cry, couldn’t look weak in front of everyone because then oh god they’d hate her and call her names and hit her because she wasn’t allowed to cry and -

She slapped herself mentally, quickly throwing on her shades to hide her watery eyes as she leaned against the wall of a corridor, shaking slightly, relying upon the stone of the castle for support as she tried desperately to keep herself calm. 

[shslpoison-blog]

After that quite shaking motive, Hanako couldn't help but to just walk around to calm herself down a bit. Talking might work as well, as it was clinically proven that-- Ah, what was she even thinking?!

She finally found Etsuko, which at this point Hanako thought of her as someone she could really talk to, who seems to be shaking? Oh that was a real sad sight to see. She felt really...ugh, what was that feeling? Hanako slowly made her way over to her, a look of worry on her face.

"Etsuko...? A-Are you okay?"

Hanako spoke as gently as she could, not wanting to scare her or anything. "I could get you some coffee or something..."

[shslpoison-blog]

Na2CO3 // OPEN

Losing something?  What could she possibly lose? There were a lot of things that could've been taken from her. Pictures? Books? Sanity? They were already gone! What else could have been taken away?!

"Oh...--Oh oh oh no..."

She lost all her studies. It's gone. It's all gone she cannot believe it. How could it--?! Her eyes began to water up, and she couldn't stop it at all, no matter how hard she tried.

Hanako probably looked terrible right now, maybe her hair was messy beyond repair, maybe she isn't even presentable anymore. She just wanted to curl up in a ball and ignore it all. Yeah, that sounded really...appealing...

Closing the door behind her, she slid down and hide her face in her knees, crying for what felt like forever. It was a pity really.

[shslliteraryanalyzer-blog]

((Okay! Now that there is a motive out, I have a question- do any of you want me to continue our thread? Or should I just drop them? Or if you want to continue them, do you guys want me to write my response as if everyone had already heard the motive, or do you guys still want it pre-motive? I don’t really mind which way you want me to go at it with!))

[shslpoison-blog]

i need to stop...being lazy and write an about page...

[shslpoison-blog]

shslbukiko

"Greeting there, miss! Are you in need of me? It is very abnormal for anyone to come around here, but I mean, I am not judging or anything--!"

The girl quickly bowed apologetically, chuckling nervously. Damn, she wasn't ready for these types of things!

[shslpoison-blog]