Nerds & Geeks

still looking for my own personal Spencer Reid

[shuckfacedcarrot]

Genuine question

The whole thing with the rabbit's foot, why didn't Sam just stick it up his ass? Like what would be easier, picking someone's pockets or subtly digging between someone's steel cheeks?

[shuckfacedcarrot]

"this won't fly in uni"

The end quote to my very serious uni essay:

As opposed to Madagascar, which turns out to in fact not be a documentary, a lion won't willingly choose not to eat his best friend the zebra after a hallucination based inner morality battle.

[shuckfacedcarrot]

Nobody:

Sam and Dean encountering someone with bulimia or binge eating disorder:

Just rewatched the Rugaru episode and this is all I could think of tbh

[kaijuno]

If the USA is so great then why did they make a USB?

[bonyassfish]

[kaijuno]

Yeah okay that’s fair

[shuckfacedcarrot]

I've always sewn and knitted my own clothes because "I want to dress like I'm a young guy attending an elitist school who's father wants him to become a doctor but his english teacher sets the small glimmer of his dreams ablaze and encourages him to take his own path of life but after one euphoric night of performing his father wants to send him to military school so he takes his own life in a poetic resemblance to the death of his dreams which coincidentally causes his best friend/lover to finally find his yawp" usually doesn't fit into the store search bar

[shuckfacedcarrot]

If I had followed lil Tommy back in the day when he looked like a literal model (Tom Rizzle if you will) I would be fairly disappointed when I'm waiting in that graveyard 14 years later only for him to come out looking like Humpty Dumpty's anorexic brother.

[applesandpavenders]

[shuckfacedcarrot]

Thought I had a great new idea for a book only to figure out it's basically just a James Norrington fanfic. Then again who doesn't love Commodore Norrington? I haven't written fanfiction in ages but if anyone's interested I might just go ahead 👀

[shuckfacedcarrot]

I know back in like may you wished there were more new Vincent vics, and I found a new preference with him! https://baronesszemo.tumblr.com/post/667969162859216896/bones-characters-their-reactions-to-meeting-you

This is why I adore the tumblr community, you are my saviour 😌❤️

[shuckfacedcarrot]

Some shameless self promo for my new wattpad book!

It's basically if Narnia and ahs asylum had a love child 😌

Anyway, feel free to check it out!

When King Salemon informed his daughter, Princess Riniya, she was soon to be wed in light of a recent alliance, she assumed this would be the worst part of her young life. However, before the engagement can take place, tragedy strikes. A dark force attacks, determined to destroy the royal family once and for all.

In her desperate attempts to flee her realm, she runs straight into the claws of a new world. A world that no longer believes in fairytales and decides Riniya must be ridden of her delusions. Will she escape this new prison and be the savior her people need? Or is all hope lost?

The Cursed Kingdom | Book 1 in The Cursed series

When King Salemon informed his daughter, Princess Riniya, she was soon to be wed in light of a recent alliance, she ass...

[shuckfacedcarrot]

My friends told me what I do while drunk

Ok so I study archaeology, I love history, I'm the fact checker of my friend group and the annoying person that points out historical inaccuracies. But I always figured I abandoned those parts of my personality when I get drunk. Oh how wrong I was.

Turns out it's a six drink Amy situation where I progress from being the funny one, to serious talk, to trauma bonding, to taking care of the others, to being the biggest fucking nerd ever.

I just had to find out that while intoxicated I don't do stupid embarrassing things, no no I apparently make random historical flash cards and quizzes. I'm sorry, what?

Can you imagine trying to flirt with someone while at a pub or something and they just pull out some random quiz about greek pottery?

"Aye dj cut the music, I've got this sick early hominins quiz y'all are gonna love"

Worst part is there's hardly any typos in them. You're telling me I struggle with texting while drunk but can make flash cards about ancient civilizations like I'm Graham fucking Hancock?

[shuckfacedcarrot]

You know what's painful? The fact that I've been in love with Vincent Nigel Murray for almost ten years but no new fanfics have come out 🙃 I can only read the same ones/my own fanfics so many times. To the bones fandom writers, please, I'm begging you, bring back the love for human trivial pursuit 😔

[malewifenat]

What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

[captainlordauditor]

same energy

[princesskuragina]

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

[definitely-not-lordenglish]

[catradoraism]

[cloud-of-daisies]

[vespaaurinkos]

jaskier: Oh fiddle sticks! Oh diddly gee golly gosh goldarnit! That really ruffles my feathers! Really dills my pickle!

geralt, crying in the corner: please just say F U C K

[shuckfacedcarrot]

So I thought it would be a great idea to get a haircut the day before my birthday. I asked her to cut it right above my shoulders but for some strange unknown reason she cut it above my chin (yes I do have a neck) so now I basically look like what would happen if coconut head fucked a mushroom and they had a child together. Happy fucking birthday to me

[shavingryansprivates-deactivate]

remember when we were kids and we used to all sing that demented version of the barney song where it was like “i hate you you hate me let’s go out and kill barney”

[shadowcat]

i don’t remember ever doing this. you were a fucked up kid

[igotadeadspiderinmypocket-deact]

i hate you

you hate me

let’s go out an kill barney

with a baseball bat

and a 4x4

NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR

[notchicken]

really? Our version was more like..

i hate you

you hate me

lets go out and kill barney

with a great big gun

two bullets to the head

WOOPS LOOK AT THAT, BARNEY’S DEAD.

[residentartichoke-deactivated20]

Ours was like:

JOY TO THE WORLD THAT BARNEY’S DEAD

WE BARBECUED HIS HEAD

DON’T WORRY ‘BOUT THE BODY

WE FLUSHED IT DOWN THE POTTY

AND ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES

AND ROUND AND ROUND IT GOES

AND ROUND AND ROUUUUUND AND ROUND IT GOES

[aph-homophobicwaiter-deactivate]

I hate you,

You hate me,

Let’s get together and kill Barney, 

With an AK-47 and a shot to the head,

Uh-oh Barney’s dead

[hdyoshi]

The one I knew was:

I hate you, 

you hate me, 

let’s get together and kill barney

sorry kids but Barney’s dead, 

we just shot him in the head

[gaymccarrol]

a b c d e f g

barney is my enemy

stick a rifle up his nose

pull the trigger there he goes

sorry kids barney’s dead

here he is without a head

[korokchan]

You’re all fucked up

[luidilovins]

Barney: *exists*

Adolescents on the playground:

[shuckfacedcarrot]

Here in Belgium we basically had this cute love song that went like:

I want you

Stay with me

Love me

Don’t ever leave

But as kids we always changed it to:

I don’t want you

Stay away from me

Fall down the stairs

And break your neck

It sounds better in dutch