A Silent Prayer

I am writing my prayers down, communicating with the lord and growing spiritually.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

8/28/2025

Dear Most High

It’s been a while, I’m so sorry I just couldn’t feel you or anything. I didn’t know where you were. I’ve felt so lost. Everything has felt so difficult and like I was just moving through with no sense of self. I felt miserable and jaded and alone but also not. I have a community. I’ll just start with where I am. Right now I feel something has shifted. I’m doing TRE exercises and I started meditation today. Gonna add mirror work. I am here. I am present in my body and I am working on healing. I’m so sorry for letting go of your hand it was a lot. All of it but you covered me. I don’t know what any of this means or why I’m crying honestly but please help me. I think I’m getting back and the shift is happening. I’m about to enter my new year by the grace of God - please help me. Please allow this inner work that I’m doing to allow a rebirth and a step closer to who I am. Please don’t leave me lord, I’m carving out my own way, my own life my own reality as a creator and artist and a light in the world. Lord please help me to be a good person and kind person a person who has discernment, a person who is confident and not boastful. A person who is not foolish and quick to speak but silent and thoughtful. A person who values others and who can see the layers in between and hear what isn’t said. Lord help me tap back in to my spiritual gifts and allow me to not be affected by the characteristics of others. I don’t want to be influenced by negative traits of others. I want to be myself. I want to be free. I love you. I’m grateful and I’m so sorry, please forgive me for the hateful feelings that wanted to consume my thoughts. I’m so grateful to be in your presence. Thank you for waiting. In the name of Jesus I pray Amen. Mwah. Kisses.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

What is Mirror Work?

Mirror work is a self-love and self-empowerment practice where you stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and recite affirmations. It’s about reprogramming your subconscious to reinforce confidence, self-worth, and emotional healing.

How to Do Mirror Work:

1️⃣ Stand in front of a mirror. Look yourself in the eyes—this part is key.

2️⃣ Breathe deeply and ground yourself. Notice any discomfort but don’t look away.

3️⃣ Say affirmations out loud. Speak with conviction, even if you don’t fully believe them yet.

4️⃣ Observe your emotions. If something feels hard to say, that’s an area that may need more healing.

5️⃣ Repeat daily. Morning or night—consistency is key.

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Your Personalized Mirror Work Affirmations

These affirmations align with your virtues, growth, and self-awareness:

🌿 Self-Worth & Identity

✔ I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am enough exactly as I am.

✔ I am more than someone’s desire—I am worthy of love, care, and effort.

✔ I release any belief that I have to prove my worth to anyone.

✔ My voice, my presence, and my feelings matter.

🔥 Power & Boundaries

✔ I do not chase—I attract. The right people step up for me effortlessly.

✔ I honor my standards and expect others to rise to them.

✔ My time and energy are sacred. I do not waste them on what does not serve me.

✔ I walk away from anything that doesn’t align with my peace, my joy, and my purpose.

💛 Love & Relationships

✔ I deserve intimacy that is deep, intentional, and reciprocal.

✔ I will not settle for potential—I accept only what is actively shown to me.

✔ I choose to be loved in ways that feel safe, nourishing, and whole.

✔ I am magnetic, mysterious, and unforgettable. My presence lingers in the best way.

🌊 Emotional Strength & Letting Go

✔ I do not hold onto what is not meant for me. I release with grace and trust what’s ahead.

✔ I honor my emotions without letting them control me.

✔ My past does not define me—every day, I am evolving into my highest self.

✔ I surrender what I cannot control and embrace the freedom of trusting my journey.

🌹 Self-Esteem & Loving Your Physical Self

✔ My body is a masterpiece—strong, beautiful, and uniquely mine.

✔ Every inch of me is worthy of love, admiration, and appreciation.

✔ I embrace my features as a reflection of my essence—they make me unforgettable.

✔ My presence is magnetic. When I walk into a room, I am seen, felt, and remembered.

✔ I do not compare myself to others. I am my own standard of beauty and power.

🎤 Embracing Your Voice & Expression

✔ My voice is powerful, sensual, and uniquely mine—it deserves to be heard.

✔ The way I speak, laugh, and express myself is part of my allure.

✔ I do not shrink my voice to make others comfortable—I own my words with confidence.

✔ What I say carries weight. My presence commands attention without effort.

✔ I am allowed to take up space, to be bold, and to be fully seen and heard.

—-

How to Make This Powerful:

✨ Say them in the mirror with conviction. Even if it feels silly at first, keep going.

✨ Write down any affirmations that make you emotional. Those are your deeper wounds calling for attention.

✨ If resistance comes up, say: “Even if I don’t believe this yet, I choose to.”

✨ Smile at yourself when you finish. You are affirming you.

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How to Deepen the Mirror Work for Self-Esteem

✨ Stand in front of the mirror and focus on different features. Speak love over each part of yourself.

✨ Smile at yourself while saying these affirmations. It rewires the mind for self-acceptance.

✨ If a part of you resists, gently touch that feature and say: “I choose to love this part of me.”

✨ Record yourself saying these affirmations and listen back. This helps reinforce confidence in your voice.

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💡 General Timeline for Internalizing Affirmations

✔ 3-4 Weeks: Your brain starts recognizing them as familiar thoughts rather than foreign ones.

✔ 6-8 Weeks: You begin to notice a shift—negative self-talk gets quieter, and the affirmations feel more natural.

✔ 3-6 Months: Deep internalization. You don’t just say them—you believe them, act on them, and radiate them.

🚀 How to Speed Up the Process:

1️⃣ Say Them With Emotion – Don’t just recite them; feel them as if they are already true.

2️⃣ Mirror Work Daily – Looking at yourself while saying them rewires self-perception faster.

3️⃣ Catch Negative Thoughts in Real Time – Replace them with affirmations immediately.

4️⃣ Embody the Energy – Walk, speak, and carry yourself as if these affirmations are already your truth.

5️⃣ Record & Listen to Yourself – Hearing your own voice affirming you can be powerful for rewiring beliefs.

How Will You Know They’ve Taken Root? • You’ll naturally start thinking these thoughts without effort. • Negative self-talk will feel more like an intrusion rather than your default. • You’ll notice shifts in confidence, posture, and how you interact with people.💡 Final Thought:You’re already on the path. Each time you say an affirmation, you’re planting a seed. Keep watering it with repetition, and soon enough, it’ll bloom into your default reality.Does this timeline feel encouraging to you? Or do you feel resistance toward believingthem right now?

[shushhhhhhhhh]

When God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), it’s a powerful declaration about your value, purpose, and uniqueness in His creation.

1. “Fearfully” – Crafted with Awe & Intention

• The word “fearfully” in this context doesn’t mean to be afraid—it means with deep reverence, care, and intention.

• It signifies that God made you with great thought and purpose, not randomly or carelessly.

• Just like an artist pours reverence into their masterpiece, God designed you with intricate detail and love.

What This Means for You:

✔ You were not an accident—your existence is intentional and meaningful.

✔ You are crafted with purpose, even when you don’t always feel it.

2. “Wonderfully” – Unique, Set Apart, and Precious

• “Wonderfully” means to be distinct, remarkable, and beyond ordinary.

• It speaks to how intricately you were designed, from your personality to your abilities.

• You were made one of a kind—there is no one else exactly like you.

What This Means for You:

✔ Your identity is not defined by the world’s standards—you are already valuable.

✔ You don’t have to prove your worth—you are inherently worthy because God made you so.

3. The Full Meaning: You Were Designed with Love, Purpose & Power

When God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made, He is saying:

• “I made you with deep care and intention.”

• “You are unique and set apart for something greater.”

• “You don’t need to seek validation from others—you were already made enough.”

Why This Matters for You Right Now

• If you ever feel not enough, unseen, or unworthy, this verse reminds you that you were made with divine precision.

• Your body, your mind, your emotions—all of you is intentional.

• Even when you struggle with self-doubt, God sees you as His masterpiece.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

My Virtues

1. Self-Awareness & Emotional Depth

I don’t just feel things— I analyze, dissect, and explore them with precision. I am not afraid to sit with my emotions, even when they’re uncomfortable. I recognize my patterns, my contradictions, and my vulnerabilities, and I face them with honesty. That kind of emotional intelligence is rare.

2. Courage in Vulnerability

I am are open in ways most people never allow themselves to be. I share my thoughts, my fears, and my desires without flinching—even when I am unsure of the answers. That takes courage, because true vulnerability is a risk, yet I embrace it.

3. Depth of Connection & Intuition

I am not someone who connects on the surface. I crave depth, even in fleeting moments. I see people for who they are, often before they even see themselves. I pick up on things others miss—the hesitation in someone’s voice, the guardedness in their words, the weight of their unspoken thoughts.

4. Love Without Reservation

I love love. Not just in a romantic sense, but in the way I cherish moments, people, and experiences. Even when I know something is temporary, I allow myself to feel it fully. That is not weakness—it is a gift. Many people build walls around themselves; I, despite everything, still let myself love.

5. Strength & Resilience

I have survived things that should have hardened me, but they didn’t. I still crave softness, still believe in connection, still search for meaning. That kind of resilience—the ability to keep feeling, keep searching, keep showing up—is incredible.

6. The Power of Reflection & Growth

I don’t just exist—I evolve. I question, I challenge, I refine my thoughts over time. I am willing to sit with difficult truths, to confront parts of myself that others would bury. That makes me capable of real transformation, which is one of the rarest virtues of all.

I am not just one thing—I am a contradiction of fire and restraint, longing and detachment, strength and vulnerability. And yet, in all of it, I remain deeply human, deeply real, and deeply felt.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Day 1 - Self Worth

How does knowing you are fearfully and wonderfully made shape how you see yourself?

I wonder if I actually believe that - what does that mean. To be fearfully and wonderfully made. I believe that the Most High God of Abraham Issac and Jacob created me from scratch. I love you Lord. I so do love you but truthfully I struggle to see my value and to love myself at times. I think it might be because my family is a bit broken to say the least. I grew up with an abusive father who consistently made me feel like nothing I did would ever be enough. I never stood up for myself and I believed the negative things people said about me. I spent the last couple of years trying to heal my broken and achy places in my mind but I still have some work to do. I spent years attaching my sense of self worth to others. I only saw value in myself when other people placed it in my hands and even then. Lord I want to be whole again and I want my value, myself worth to be attached to you. Thank you for creating me with care and for piecing all that I am so specifically. I don’t always like myself but even the darkest parts of me are light to you. I think I’m especially afraid because the last time I tied my self worth to someone they took it and used it to abuse me. I don’t want to leave myself open for that to happen ever again. The stronger and confident I feel the better I’ll be. Lord please help me to no longer look to others to assign my value. Please help the readings and mediations of your word during this fast to hold me and to keep me throughout my lifetime. Lord I am enough because you made me so. My vitrues - I’ll list them out but I need to remind myself and affirm myself during this time. Thank you Most High for meeting me during this time. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer, in the name of Jesus I pray. AMEN.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Daily Flow for Your 55-Day Bible Study Plan

This structure will help you stay consistent while allowing flexibility based on your energy and focus each day.

💡 Total Time Commitment: 30 Minutes (Adjustable)

• 10 min: Read & Reflect

• 10 min: Journal or Meditate

• 10 min: Pray & Apply

📝 Daily Structure

1. Read the Daily Verse(s) (5-10 min)

• Start with prayer: Ask for wisdom and understanding.

• Read the verse slowly and intentionally.

• If time allows, read the surrounding chapter for context.

• Underline words or phrases that stand out.

2. Reflect & Journal (10 min)

• Use the reflection question from the study plan as a guide.

• Ask yourself:

✔ What is this verse teaching me about myself?

✔ How does this connect to my current struggles or growth?

✔ Is there a pattern or theme emerging over time?

• Write a few sentences or full journal entries—whatever feels natural.

3. Pray & Apply (10 min)

• Pray for understanding, transformation, and strength to apply what you’ve learned.

• Ask: How can I live this today? (Set an intention based on the lesson.)

• If helpful, write an affirmation or action step for the day.

⏳ Time Adjustments

• If you only have 15 minutes: Read → Reflect briefly → Say a quick prayer.

• If you want to go deeper: Read cross-references, listen to sermons, or extend your journaling.

• If you have extra energy: Share insights with a friend or discuss in a group setting.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Gratitude list 8.10.2024

I am grateful for my job

I am grateful for home

I am grateful laughter

I am grateful for friendship

I am grateful for my body

I am grateful for my health

I am grateful for my mind

I am grateful for my safety

I am grateful for my books

I am grateful for art

I am grateful for the silence

I am grateful for the rain

I am grateful for my sight

I am grateful for my life

I am grateful for rest

I am grateful for knowledge

I am grateful for growing

I am grateful for release

I am grateful for warmth

I am grateful for cold

[shushhhhhhhhh]

I need to keep a gratitude journal - I'll do that here.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

1 Peter 3:4

"Instead, make yourselves beautiful on the inside, in your hearts, with the enduring quality of a gentle, peaceful spirit. This type of beauty is very precious in God’s eyes."

I found a verse that caught my eye - how do I become a gentle and peaceful spirit.

I will circle back to this after some more research, but this is the verse of the day, week, month?

Thank you Most High - Peace be with you.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Tuesday, February 6, 2024

Most High,

I've been learning a lot about myself in therapy and the issues are a bit more deeply rooted than I thought they were. Thank you for covering me and protecting me in the ways you have. I think I am more sensitive to things than I thought.

My wrist is starting to hurt and I don't want carpal tunnel. (Intrusive thought)

I will intermittently fast for the remainder of February and my doing so or the reason i. thought to do it was because of weight loss (body issues) but maybe this could also bring me closer to you and reading your word. I have to decide what I'm looking for. I think I am looking for self-love and to rid myself of the feelings of shame, guilt, and blame.

"Being a child is not a sin" - Nanami

Okay, so it's decided I will meditate on self-love this month and find my way through your word. Please offer insight along the way.

Thank you Lord,

In the name of Jesus I pray Amen. Mwah Kisses.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Morning Prayer

Most High,

How are you? I hope you enjoyed the sabbath.

As you know I'm on a healing journey; this weekend I was faced with the many emotions that overwhelmed me.

I think I heard myself reach out to you in moments but mostly I remember not wanting to feel the emotions that were weighing on my chest, it was awful. I was having a panic attack in the shower and Lord I made it through by your grace so thank you. Thank you for being with me and now I need to know where to go. Please direct me to your word, what should I be reading in scripture. I need and want to have a clear line of communication with you, even when I go off script, I want to know where you want me to be. The previous year was a bit chaotic but I survived and I feel a bit more sober and I am ready for your direction. Thank you. I'm sorry for my sins and transgressions against you and me. I am here now, ready and willing to heal and grow, lead me lord. In the name of Jesus, I pray Amen. Mwah Kisses.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

i've been writing my prayers in a physical journal but i think i'll just transition to here.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Prayer

Hello lord,

It has been a while since I last wrote you. I miss you. I need you and I want you in my life. My life always seems a bit unbalanced when I do not reach out but you always keep me. Thank you for insuring my health and well-being these past days. Thank you for giving me peace when my flesh begged for choas. Thank you for being honest with me even when the truth harashed the vibe. Thank you for being patient with me through the same mistakes. I am sorry for lost time. I am grateful for now. I am hopeful for tommorow. I feel sick. Physically/Emotionally/Mentally/Sexually. I need cleansing inward turned out. I need peace that can only be found in you. Please dear Lord hear my prayer and have mercy dear God. I love you lord. In the name of Jesus I pray Amen. Our father which art in heaven hollowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned agianst us and lead us not into temptaion but deliver us from the evil one. For thine is, the kingdom the power and the glory forever and ever in the name of Jesus I pray Amen.

~Please recieve this song on my heart as an offer of praise ~

Draw me close to you lord  🎶

Never let me go  🎵

I would lay it all down again  🎶

To hear you say that I am your friend  🎵

You are my desire, no one else will do  🎶

Because nothing else can take your place  🎵

To feel the warmth of your embrace  🎶

Help me find the way 🎵

To bring me back to you 🎵

You are all I want  🎶

You are all I have ever needed  🎶

You are all I want 🎵

Help me know you are near  🎶

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Morning Prayer

Because the lord is my shepherd, I have everything I need. He lets me rest in the medows grass, and he leads me behind the quiet stream. He restores my failing health and he helps me to do what honors him the most. Thats why I’m safe ... safe in his arms.🎶

I woke up with this song on my heart toady, so it must be my prayer for this morning. I pray that you oh lord will give me peace, I pray that you will restore my health, I pray that you will instill me with the discipline I need to honor you with all of me. 

Forgive me lord for my sins and trangressions agianst you. I pray for your mercy and I am so thankful for your grace dear lord. Thank you, thank you and thank you. I pray that you find a reason to smile today. Bless your holy name oh lord, In the name of Jesus I pray Amen.

Psalm of refrence:

Reading this psalm gives me peace. I pray that someone else finds peace through you oh lord.

Psalm 23 

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Lord

I struggle to come to you after I sin because, I feel guilty for sinning knowingly, so how can I apologize. I’m also not quite sure if this is a sin or not. But if I have to ask it’s probably becaue it is. SIGH* I am so bothered by myself as I suspect you are also annoyed with me. Please forgive me lord for my sins against you. I’ll read your word for more guidence. In the name of Jesus Amen.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

UPDATE to you Lord:

I noticed that sometimes when I pray against something, I struggle with it 10x more. Not to say ignoring a problem makes it go away…. but maybe not overthinking it will be just as effective.

I know that change takes time and that while I am striving for perfection I will fall but I need you with me lord through it all. I cannot and will not be able without you in the midst.

I know we all struggle with things and I am trying to go about this the best way I can.

So please forgive me. Please be merciful . Please be patient with me lord. Thank you lord for all that you do and all that you are. In the name of Jesus I pray Amen.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Lord

I struggle to come to you after I sin because, I feel guilty for sinning knowingly, so how can I apologize. I’m also not quite sure if this is a sin or not. But if I have to ask it’s probably becaue it is. SIGH* I am so bothered by myself as I suspect you are also annoyed with me. Please forgive me lord for my sins against you. I’ll read your word for more guidence. In the name of Jesus Amen.

[shushhhhhhhhh]

Dear Lord

Thank you for your grace and your mercy. Thank you for this day. Thank you for waking me up this morning because I know some of my brothers and sisters did not. I pray you send a healing hand to mend the hearts of their loved ones on this day lord. 

Lord, I know I struggle with denying the desires of my flesh, I pray that you continue to be patient with me and forgive me lord. Every time I think I am making progress, I take two steps back. However, I know I will see this through. My morning prayer is for dicipline oh lord. I pray for consistency so that I might see my changem. 

Lord, Thank you for my health and the health of my dear and beloved. I pray for the saftey and welfare of my brothers and sisters rioting. I pray that you have mercy upon them and deliver their enemies onto their hands.  In the name of Jesus I pray Amen.

A Scripture to meditate on this morning:

Isaiah 54:17

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.

I am Hopeful 🦋