Relationship Compatibility #5 - The Nodes
(I know I skipped #4. And I will get to that eventually. But I recently had a revelation about a previous relationship and I wanted to share it while it was still fresh on my mind. So I’m skipping ahead to discuss the North Node in Astrological Compatibility.) LOL I actually started this 2 months ago. But got lazy.
The North Node AKA True Node AKA Rahu (Vedic) is a mean, crazy, complex thing in Astrology. I like to simplify things though. I have Mercury in Sagittarius so I’m a big fan of “the main idea”. I will say the true node is like a mega magnet that keeps pulling stronger and stronger way after its attached; A deluxe extractor that explodes something slowly from the inside. It is WAY excessive. Any aspects to the NN will work kind of like the dad that makes you smoke the whole pack of cigarettes because you took one drag after school behind the gymnasium. It teaches you life lessons about something by making you experience entirely too much of it. It extracts all the ingredients out of something until it is no longer that something. It changes your life. It is deeply spiritual.
The North Node represents what is challenging and unfamiliar but what you need to move toward in order to fulfill your spiritual purpose. Its opposite, the South Node, represents what you are comfortable with but need to move away from in order to fulfill your spiritual purpose.
When someone’s North Node conjuncts or opposes someone’s personal planet between 0-3 degrees, expect some seriously life changing circumstances. You will have an obvious and instant attraction. It will immediately seem meant to be in some way. But, whatever planet that aspects the NN will become an increasingly heavy weight in that relationship. This is true for all of the planets. Not just personal planets.
When I was much younger I was in a relationship with a guy who until recently still haunted me. It took me several years to recover from that relationship. From just looking at basic compatibility elements in our charts, it would seem at first that we were meant to be.
My Moon sign was conjunct his DC which is a famous “Marriage” aspect.
In our composite chart our Vertex was conjunct the DC. Another marriage aspect.
My sun sign was conjunct his Venus. My moon sign was trine his Venus.
His Mars was conjunct my Venus.
Naturally, we had some challenging aspects too. But what ended us, what doomed us or at least played a major part in our demise was his North Node conjunct my Saturn by 0°. They were EXACTLY conjunct. Cue the death march song.
Though this aspect surely meant that our relationship at that youthful age in our lives was not meant to last. It meant something much bigger in my personal life and spiritual journey. It was that relationship that forced me to start growing up. It began to harden me and prepare me for life’s more difficult blows. It made me begin to see myself and love myself for who I really was, not whatever personality my family and friends were projecting onto me. I was very somber, cynical, weary in the years following that breakup. But with this came a maturity that I didn’t have before. I had to make and learn to live with really uncomfortable decisions about my life. For no other reason but to survive, I had to face harsh realities about myself that I would not have been able to face in the years before I dated him. Subliminally, I knew I had difficult times ahead. I knew that I had some maturing to do, and I picked him to expedite the process.
When our relationship began I didn’t even know him. I worked with him and one day I looked at him and just realized I liked him. I didn’t know why I did. I just did. I began to be slightly obsessed with him. I don’t even remember talking to him before I liked him, I just felt drawn to him for some reason. He later told me, that prior to our dating he would watch me shopping around the store unbeknownst to myself at the time. We were both still young and relatively inexperienced in matters of the heart. Our relationship was rocky from the start. Though we had our share of fun and hot sex, almost immediately, things began to get very dark and heavy.
Saturn is a very heavy planet. It is the planet of reality. The cold hard facts. The bitter truth. Saturn wants nothing more but for everyone to get the full experience of Reality on this planet. It wants you to be rooted, to grow, and to be fruitful. But not without enduring all the forces of nature first.
In a Romantic relationship, Saturn is not really want you want. Especially not in the beginning. You want to dream. You want to live in a fantasy together. You want the honeymoon. You want Neptune, Venus, The Moon. Saturn is a major joy kill and super party pooper in the early stages of a relationship.
Well, almost immediately after he and I became intimate people began to bombard me with information about his former lovers. One of whom I also worked with and was somewhat friends with. It hurt me that neither one of them decided to tell me that they had been together just a few weeks prior to he and I beginning to date. I wanted to be in the honeymoon stage but I was instantly confronted with reality. I decided not to confront him with this information. Instead letting it fester. As our relationship progressed I continued to have more and more uncomfortable truths thrusted upon me.
We had all kinds of rocky ups and downs and confusion. I was so depressed when I was with him but I honestly loved him. I didn’t understand why it had to be so painful. I couldn’t understand why I liked someone so much but also resented him so much. I felt like he was a child and I was a grownup even though he was a year older. I resented him because I felt his life was so easy and mine was so challenging. I resented him for resenting me for not having an easy life. I wanted him to be more mature and I often felt like such a nag bringing the mood down all the time. I didn’t know how to be light and easy with him. It just wasn’t coming. And I could sense that he wanted to get away from me but still honestly liked me too. It was horrible. My personal life began to be more and more out of control. I had money problems, family problems, friend problems. Everything that I thought was stable in my life seemed to slowly fall apart the longer I clung to him. It wasn’t like he was doing it. It was more like I was being ripped from my fantasies. He was like a spaceship tearing me from my fantasy world and setting me in orbit towards where I was really meant to be. I was forced to see who my real friends, were, what really was stable in my life and what wasn’t.
Our breakup was horrible for me but wonderful for him. I never felt so lost. I felt like I had nothing left when we were finished. All the people I thought were my friends, my home, my sense of who I was and where I was going – All of that was completely gone. I was starting fresh. I was completely uprooted and I was set on a journey to find True stable ground to replant myself.
I’m still not completely sure if I have found that place yet. But I do know that I am grateful to have had that time of having my illusions so violently ripped away from me. Sometimes you’re not strong enough to grow on your own. You need some type of supplement.
I was angry with him for so long. But thankfully astrology helped me and I was able to realize that he was only playing a part, he was a catalyst in my spiritual evolution. He was absolutely a soulmate who helped me to realize a higher version of myself. I can only hope that in some way I did the same for him.
_________________________________
If you aspect your partners true node or vice versa it must be very close to get the truest experience (within 0-3 degrees). Conjunctions and Oppositions are the Strongest. Any such aspect is a definite sign of a soulmate.
Conjunctions to the NN work in the way that I have detailed above. They extract the personality of that planet in your life to the point where your life is changed by it.
North Node Conjuntions to:
The Sun - You may experience a change in your personality, confidence, Ego as a result of the relationship. You may become famous or popular. Your public persona will be boosted continually. You may get a better understanding of who you are as a person and what you want from life. Your sense of purpose may become more clear to you. Your desire to create may increase.
The Moon - Your emotional nature will be amplified. The relationship may lead you to experiences that shake your emotional foundation. This can be good in a relationships. Your feelings for that person may keep growing and growing. This relationship may force you to confront the ways that you deal with emotions. This relationship may lead to motherhood or just bring out your sense of nurturing and caring for others. You may also be forced to confront any issues surrounding your mother or lack thereof.
Mercury - Brainstorm. This relationship could activate your mind. Any mental issues you have could become exaggerated at this time. You may learn to communicate better or more. You may get much smarter as a result of this relationship. You will be forced to confront any mental weaknesses. You may write more, talk more, listen more, learn more.
Venus - Your sensuality will be put in the forefront. This can be a great aspect for relationships, especially if you are female as it will amplify your feminine nature and increase your awareness of your relationship. Your relationship may continuously grow in importance. You may feel as if you are meant to do nothing else but love each other. The longer that person is a part of your life, the more your enjoyment of life will be increased. This person could be a catalyst of your creativity. You may make incredibly beautiful art during your relationship with this person. You may look more beautiful when you are around this person.
Mars - Passion. This could be good and bad in a relationship. This person will activate your self will. You may become more and more motivated to go after the things that you want. You may become more spontaneous, impulsive. You may become more agressive and sexually sexually confident. You may become more selfish. You may feel increasingly attracted to that person. You may also become increasingly angry or violent with that person. If you had any problems being assertive before. This relationship can set you on the path to correcting that. It will force you to be assertive, take the lead. If you have not had that problem or have been overly aggressive, the relationship will force you to confront your anger issues and set you on the path to focusing your energies.
Jupiter - Good Fortune. This is probably among the best aspects you could have with a partner. Being around this person will steadily increase your good fortune. You will grow more generous, light hearted, and wise. You may become more religious or philosophical. You may have a boost in good luck. You may be put in positions where you can help people and make the world more fun and enjoyable. You may get richer or fatter :-/. You may have to confront your relationship or belief in God. You may begin to start asking yourself life’s “bigger” questions. “Who am I, Why am I here, What is my purpose, etc.” You may travel more and see the world with or as a result of this person in your life.
Saturn - Reality. See above story. You may be forced to confront the truth. If you have been out of touch with reality, that will be no longer with this person in your life. You may feel an increasingly stronger sense of duty, responsibility, maturity. You may feel older and older the more you are with this person. You may be forced to confront where you have struggled with reality and where you have not been responsible. You may feel like a burden to your partner. You may feel gloomy around this person. You will become a stronger more grounded person with or as a result of this relationship. You can become a master of reality with or as a result of this relationship. You may gain a bigger interest in nature, stones, plants, animals. This is actually a very good position for someone aspiring in the occult arts, yoga, or meditation as it forces you to connect better with the earth.
Uranus - Freshness. This relationship will bring out new exciting aspects of yourself that you have never experienced before. You may get ideas out of the blue all the time. Your intuition may increase. You may cut off old ties, old habits, and old relationships. You may change your whole look and style. You may become fascinated with the future. You may have issues with electricity – so be careful! You may have a bigger interest in science and technology while you’re in this relationship. You may become very unpredictable during this time. You may get really weird or start hanging out with a totally new crowd of people. Your family or friends may not feel they can relate to you when you are in a relationship with this person. This partner will probably be like no one else in your life. This relationship might not last, but when its over you will have revived your life with so much freshness.
Neptune - This relationship will activate your imagination. This may be an extremely romantic relationship. Romeo & Juliet style. The world will seem to disappear when you are around this person. This relationship may activate any tendencies toward drug use. You may tend to do drugs with your partner or go to really imaginative places like raves or amusement parks. If you are a writer, artist, musician etc. and have been suffering from any type of creative block. This relationship will cure that. It will open up your imagination in ways you haven’t even dreamed of. This may also be a dangerous relationship. It could increase your dishonesty or put you in many positions where people are not being honest with you. You may be under the spell of this person and loose touch with reality.
Pluto - Purging. This relationship will be deep, dark, often ugly, always powerful and when its over you will experience a purity of spiritual purpose that you have never known. This relationship may feel like hell purging of your sins. Secrets that you have kept may come to light. You may be forced to confront your darkest or ugliest nature. You will be forced to see your own shadow self. You may become more powerful in any occult arts and may take a huge interest in it during this time. People with dubious or hidden intentions may enter your life as a result of this persons influence. This person may have incredible mystical powers and you may not always know or trust his or her true intentions. This is a relationship that is meant to transform you to a higher purpose.
Oppositions to the NN are really conjunctions to the South Node and work in an opposite way. If someone conjuncts your planets SN, you will begin the relationship with the energy of that planet radiating very strongly, but as that person grows spiritually or as time progresses, the energy of that planet will decrease. That person may have picked you because he/she feels comfortable enough with you to begin a higher spiritual journey. Harsh planets like, Mars, Saturn, Pluto, or even Neptune may become easier as your relationship progresses. While more romantic elements like Venus, The Moon, Jupiter, or again Neptune may fade over time.
South Node Conjunctions to:
The Sun - You may have picked this person because of how he/she boosts your ego. Over time though you may realize the vanity of your ego as a result of this relationship. You may become more in touch with your true self.
The Moon - You may have picked this person because you naturally feel very comfortable and nurtured by this person. But over time you may have to step out of your comfort zone in order to move forward in life and experience your true emotional nature.
Mercury - You may like the mental stimulation that this person gives you. But over time you may realize that you don’t share as many ideas as you thought you did. This relationship may force you to think differently. You may feel like there is too much talking, like you just want peace and quiet. You begin to feel like you have learned enough and now you want to feel and experience.
Venus - You may feel a natural attraction to this person. You may feel so beautiful around this person. But over time you may realize that they are no longer the one for you and that your beauty is dependent on something else. If you are very pretty you may become humbled by this relationship. The importance of beauty in your life may decrease as a result of this relationship.
Mars - You may start off fighting a lot with this person. You may be natural enemies. But as time goes on you realize you actually have a lot in common and can be great allies to each other. This may also be the type of relationship that is very sexual at first but cools over time to something more calm and meaningful.
Saturn - You may not have faith in your own physical strengths and may be a bit of a masochistic or a workaholic. You may have picked this person because you don’t believe you deserve to enjoy life. As a result of this relationship, you may realize that you have already worked hard enough and that its okay to give yourself a break and experience the beauties of nature without the extra pain.
Jupiter - This may be the type of relationship that starts out really easy then gets increasingly difficult. You may naturally have good luck with this person, but increasingly your luck runs out. You may become humbled and grounded by this relationship. You may feel like God is leaving you as this relationship continues. If you have been a religious zealot or fanatic this relationship will give you a more realistic experience with God.
Uranus - You may feel like a natural weirdo and you may have picked this person to reinforce that idea. But as time goes by you may begin to realize that you are more emotional, grounded, and connected to other people than you thought you were. You’re not as weird as you thought you were. This relationship may show you that its okay to fit in and go with a crowd sometimes.
Neptune - This is the type of relationship that can free you from your own delusions and self undoing. This may be the type of relationship where you begin as drug buddies but over time you realize the destruction that the drugs are causing. So you begin a path to become sober. This relationship can also be one that decreases your imagination over time. Maybe you are writing partners who start out working great together but you begin to be less and less inspired by each other over time.
Pluto - This relationship may begin very dark and punishing but will increasingly become easy, light, beautiful, even heavenly. You may have come to this person because you felt guilty about something but overtime you become freed from your own self punishment. This person may teach you how to forgive yourself and show you that the suffering, darkness, and confusion is over. Its a bright new day :-)