dark days for your solstice

amber - she/they - over 30 - bri’ish - art and millennial metal mallgoth activities - TIP JAR

[shutterspeedserpent]

Just caught up with everything EN after quite a while not really following them and not to be dramatic but Visibly Out Nonbinary Blixa might just be changing my LIFE

[shutterspeedserpent]

In a cartoonishly on-the-nose demonstration of how much better literally everything is here than in my previous hell job, my office building had a fucking therapy kitten event today 😭 soft tiny toasted marshmallow beasts…

[shutterspeedserpent]

Hi hello drive by post just to say I’m moving into my first bought and paid for home of my own tomorrow!! And my shitfuck job FINALLY ends on Friday and I have a new one to start at the end of the month!!! NEVER kill yourself okay I love you bye x

[greatlordfluffernutter]

If Tumblr dies you can't find me. It's just not possible. Become my friend now or you'll never see me again once this website explodes.

[shutterspeedserpent]

Merry Wembleyversary to all those who celebrate. The way I saw all that with mine own whole entire eyes… what a night

I am nearly seven weeks out from surgery and healing well! I have a lot more general mobility back, I just need to rebuild my strength and energy. I’ll have physio soon and hopefully be cleared to start working from home, doing light exercise, and- most excitingly- house hunting in the new year.

[shutterspeedserpent]

I’m back in my own bed and I’m fairly pain-free but boy I’m eepy as hell! Anyway 10/10 would recommend contributing to the declining birth rate, I feel like I had a ball of concentrated evil removed from me and my abdomen is visibly less lumpy and swollen already even with the keyhole surgical wounds

[shutterspeedserpent]

Pretty much on an internet hiatus/detox these days but great news, they’re spaying me like a stray kitty and putting me on custom E + T HRT tomorrow and I could NOT be more excited 🙌🏻 FUCK endo, adeno, PMDD and menhoraggic anaemia! I’m getting my life back bitch!!!!

[shutterspeedserpent]

Shut down my Etsy store today because I haven’t had a single sale in 2025, and even if I did, I probably wouldn’t be able to ship to most buyers any more because of the US de minimis change and the EU import restrictions that came in last year.

Whatever, man. I have an operation coming up some time in the next few months so I don’t really have the spare energy to get sad about it rn.

[shutterspeedserpent]

Fuck it dawg life’s too short!!!

[shutterspeedserpent]

Whoever gave me covid at Download, ya mom’s a ho

[shutterspeedserpent]

Download absolutely rewired my fucking brain god bless 🙏🏻 Ton of videos of tons of bands on my highlights on my insta (@/luceronarts) if you wanna see!

I’ve never seen Ves so happy during/around a show, even in the backstage photo he’s smiley. What a triumph Saturday was all round 🥹

[shutterspeedserpent]

THREAD THE NEEDLE IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2025?????!!!!!!

[shutterspeedserpent]

I tried to cook and I fear I ended up merely microwaving… just wanted to get this vague idea I had onto paper. FFM beach/woke up here on the shoreline/dialogue at the end of Baths/the cycle…

[shutterspeedserpent]

So, how about them Arcadias huh

I thought I’d put a note on here as I did sorta disappear without much info in April and I feel bad for that, I don’t know if anyone was wondering wtf happened. I’m just now coming out of a bit of a rough physical and mental health episode that lasted about a month. I’ve realised I have a real issue with obsessive thoughts that lead to anxiety paralysis and negative compulsions, and screen time full of fandom drama, rolling news, political tension, pointless trolling and all sorts of other doomy socmed slop is just nuclear fuel to those negative behaviour patterns. I was racking up 8-12 hours a day of screen time this time last month! How did I even DO that. And most of it was being spent consuming content that actively annoyed or worried me.

I think it’s very likely I am somewhere in the ASD/ADHD/OCD nexus. I do have the kind of psychological profile which can get caught up in all sorts of negative self-talk, moral anxiety, magical thinking and maladaptive/parasocial daydreaming if I’m not careful, and I can’t just let that fester. I do plan to get an official assessment done on that front in the near-ish future when money allows, but in the meantime I’m the only one that can give myself a fighting chance until then, you know?

So I’m pretty much only on IG (sparingly) or Discord these days- feel free to drop me a DM if you don’t already have me on those. I’m swimming in all the new music and exploring more traditional art media at the moment, and I’d still love to chat about those things! It’s just that I need to do so in a place that’s more separate/private from the bottomless content hole of the wider interweb, for my own peace of mind.

[shutterspeedserpent]

So, how about them Arcadias huh

I thought I’d put a note on here as I did sorta disappear without much info in April and I feel bad for that, I don’t know if anyone was wondering wtf happened. I’m just now coming out of a bit of a rough physical and mental health episode that lasted about a month. I’ve realised I have a real issue with obsessive thoughts that lead to anxiety paralysis and negative compulsions, and screen time full of fandom drama, rolling news, political tension, pointless trolling and all sorts of other doomy socmed slop is just nuclear fuel to those negative behaviour patterns. I was racking up 8-12 hours a day of screen time this time last month! How did I even DO that. And most of it was being spent consuming content that actively annoyed or worried me.

I think it’s very likely I am somewhere in the ASD/ADHD/OCD nexus. I do have the kind of psychological profile which can get caught up in all sorts of negative self-talk, moral anxiety, magical thinking and maladaptive/parasocial daydreaming if I’m not careful, and I can’t just let that fester. I do plan to get an official assessment done on that front in the near-ish future when money allows, but in the meantime I’m the only one that can give myself a fighting chance until then, you know?

So I’m pretty much only on IG (sparingly) or Discord these days- feel free to drop me a DM if you don’t already have me on those. I’m swimming in all the new music and exploring more traditional art media at the moment, and I’d still love to chat about those things! It’s just that I need to do so in a place that’s more separate/private from the bottomless content hole of the wider interweb, for my own peace of mind.

[shutterspeedserpent]

Anyone else up staring into a yawning inescapable chasm of personal anxiety, artistic insecurity and existential dread, or is it just me and those two guys from Ghost and Sleep Token

[shutterspeedserpent]

What is even the fucking point man