“Always making sure that everyone is feeling great.
Whenever you feel down, she will always motivate.
Kind words with her laughing smile she always resonates.
Being walked all over is something she won’t tolerate”
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LONG POST ALERT
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the band that kick-started my love for ska was Big D and the Kids Table. i was obsessed but also because i was young and getting into punk i was starting to get into really great current bands at the time in the middle/late parts of their discography. i was obsessed with ‘Strictly Rude’ my freshman year of high school and i remember hearing these lyrics from “Fly Away” and have ever since aspired to be that person.
i know at times relationships and friendships have gone sour in my life. some my fault. some not my fault. but i always tried my best to be as loving and caring of a friend as i could. sometimes i failed though. i did my best to learn, apologize, and be better. it’s helped a lot. some bridges were mended. some were left burnt. it’s been a wild learning process. learning to know when you’re in the wrong and fix your actions for the future. and also learning the times you were right and dealing with the loss of that connection with that person anyway.
other times. i wasn’t wrong. i felt like i was over-reacting. but i would go into full defense mode and rue anyone that ever tried to wrong me or my friends. i am an intense person so it would be very apparent and impossible to ignore when i was fed up.
12 years later and i am still trying to live up to the person this verse is describing. it’s easy to do the first three lines but the last line of not tolerating being walked all over is difficult. love your people hard. always be there for them but recognize when you’re being taken for granted or advantage of.
lately i’ve been having to deal with one of the most traumatic and difficult situations in my life that i have ever had to deal with. i’ve gone through a crazy whirlwind of emotions. sadness through yearning of what i lost. guilt from feeling like it was my fault. anger from wanting revenge. none of it feels good and makes me question myself.
but then my super amazing supportive friends who have never left my side remind me i’m ok. i’m not in the wrong this time. that they’re there for me always because i’ve been there for them and we recognize loyalty and just in general, good hearts.
i’m struggling. i am. i will be ok. i will get through this. i have come to realize i am the girl Big D were singing about and i need to continue to keep trying to be that girl.
every foul friendship or relationship i’ve had before and every time i’ve gone on an angry rant about who knows the fuck what, all seem so minuscule at this point due to what i just went through.
but going back out to shows. finally reaching out to friends after months of ignoring them has proven that they’re there for me and always have been and always will be. and a big part of that is because they know that i was there for them and i always will be in the future.
just another dumb way this weird punk rock crap has saved my life.
“girl, your friends will never fly away”
(also lmao at jeff rosenstock on the cover of this album. )
