Welcome to Shuuen Matsuri! Hosting various events for the Shuuen no Shiori fandom. Please take a look at the amazing stuff everyone's done for previous events!
Our #shuuenpro server has voted on an art week to be held from June 23rd to June 29th, using #weekofdemise. You get to pick one out of four prompts presented on a given day. Interpret them however you’d like! Anyone is free to join, and any type of art is welcome!
Day 1: Superhero / Game / “Bizarre High-School Life” / “Our Days”
Day 2: Mask / Ghost / “Common Heroes” / “Bookmark of Demise”
Day 3: Camera / Book / “Schrodinger’s Cat” / “Mundane Everyday”
Day 4: Chair / Film / “Retribution Revival” / “Conclusion -Re:Write-”
Day 5: Dream / Loop / “Conclusion Dreamelody” / “Repeatragedy”
Day 6: Fox / Ten / Favourite Duet Song / Favourite Character Song
Day 7: Free Day!
These will be the prompts / themes for the art week! You get to pick one out of the four options presented (two single-word prompts and two song prompts) on a given day. You’ll be able to interpret the prompts however you’d like. “Art” is not limited to just digital/traditional fanart either. Any type of writing (including fanfiction) and other fanwork also counts as art!
As for day 7; it’s a freebie! You can let your creativity loose! When the time comes, the tag #weekofdemise will be used to indicate fanwork for the art week (Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, doesn’t matter).
So, come and join us in celebration of this never-ending repeatragedy!
So I was wondering! Were you still thinking about hosting another event in the summer? I totally get if you're too busy, I just wanted to let you know that I'd be super interested!
I'm sorry for the late response on this, I was not notified??! Hopefully it's not too late but yes, summer gift exchange is totally happening! I will try to update soon with an official announcement and how to sign up. Thanks for your interest! :'D
It's June, and summer is soon to begin! I haven't forgotten about holding the gift exchange this summer, and I know there's been a lack of updates. Mod of this blog has just been really busy nonstop with new changes in life. So thank you for your patience regarding this year's event! I will make a full announcement for the summer gift exchange as soon as I'm settled in. 👍👍
Hi everyone! Another year has passed by so quickly and it’s already time for the holidays again. Before I start, I really want to apologize for the inactivity on here. I wanted to hold more fun activities on this blog, but I’ve been doing my final year of college and it’s been very (((( ;°Д°)))) busyyyy! So I’m sorry about that, but I hope everyone has been well.
I was wondering if people are interested in doing Shuuen Secret Santa this year again. I always really enjoy holding this event and we always have a great turnout!
But, the holidays are always a busy time with finals, family plans, etc. I know it can be stressful getting all that done along with your gift exchange. And I don’t want this to keep anyone from participating in other fandom gift exchanges, either.
So I was thinking… what if we hold this event in the summer instead? Summer would be thematically appropriate because that’s when Shuuen takes place. People in school might have more free time in the summer, and there’s less of a chance that our event would conflict with other fandoms’…
What do you think? I really value your input, so please fill out this quick poll or let me know your thoughts in a response or reblog. Thank you!
Hi everyone! Another year has passed by so quickly and it’s already time for the holidays again. Before I start, I really want to apologize for the inactivity on here. I wanted to hold more fun activities on this blog, but I’ve been doing my final year of college and it’s been very (((( ;°Д°)))) busyyyy! So I’m sorry about that, but I hope everyone has been well.
I was wondering if people are interested in doing Shuuen Secret Santa this year again. I always really enjoy holding this event and we always have a great turnout!
But, the holidays are always a busy time with finals, family plans, etc. I know it can be stressful getting all that done along with your gift exchange. And I don’t want this to keep anyone from participating in other fandom gift exchanges, either.
So I was thinking… what if we hold this event in the summer instead? Summer would be thematically appropriate because that’s when Shuuen takes place. People in school might have more free time in the summer, and there’s less of a chance that our event would conflict with other fandoms’…
What do you think? I really value your input, so please fill out this quick poll or let me know your thoughts in a response or reblog. Thank you!
Hi everyone! Another year has passed by so quickly and it’s already time for the holidays again. Before I start, I really want to apologize for the inactivity on here. I wanted to hold more fun activities on this blog, but I’ve been doing my final year of college and it’s been very (((( ;°Д°)))) busyyyy! So I’m sorry about that, but I hope everyone has been well.
I was wondering if people are interested in doing Shuuen Secret Santa this year again. I always really enjoy holding this event and we always have a great turnout!
But, the holidays are always a busy time with finals, family plans, etc. I know it can be stressful getting all that done along with your gift exchange. And I don’t want this to keep anyone from participating in other fandom gift exchanges, either.
So I was thinking... what if we hold this event in the summer instead? Summer would be thematically appropriate because that’s when Shuuen takes place. People in school might have more free time in the summer, and there’s less of a chance that our event would conflict with other fandoms’...
What do you think? I really value your input, so please fill out this quick poll or let me know your thoughts in a response or reblog. Thank you!
I must apologize for the wait-- I know, we’re already over a week into the new year! We had a late start this year due to mod’s hectic schedule, and I know I wasn’t the only one who was busy this season. I’m really sorry about that. Thank you so, so much for your patience. All submissions are now up!
Please check out all of the amazing submissions! I’m not sure that all of them will show up in the tag, so please look at them on this blog.
Everyone’s creations bring such a huge smile to my face and I hope they do for you too! And can I just say how proud I am? Our fandom is so skilled and talented. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every one of the submissions, even though I know they’re not for me haha. Great job! <3 (And to some of you who have participated in this event for multiple years, I see you and your incredible improvement!! That’s amazing!)
(Side note: I hope no one minds that I tagged the creator of the submission in each post -- I realized that reblogs would come back to this blog, so I wanted to put the creator’s blog on there to avoid confusion as to who made it. Let me know if anyone wants that taken off their post!)
I always enjoy hosting this event and I’m really happy I got to do it again this year. Thank you for participating!! ⭐
@javisak hey man, here’s your secret santa gifts! Cute DBs are always golden, and the Film Noir AU was a good time. Let’s say for that, Occult club is older and just finished a case, so they’re having fun. Happy holidays!!!~
Mariamishinuma-san, I did this present for you! I hope you will like it! Although this is not my OTP, but when I try drawing them, I thought that they are really cute together! Happy new year to you, Mariamishinuma-san!
Merry Christmas @red-dyed-sarumane I’m your secret santa this year! I was hoping to get two of your wishlist items done but I only managed to get the one done (sorry) I hope your Christmas was good and that you have a happy new year!
This is a gift for @blbk, who asked for “B-ko hugs D-ne from the back in Christmas clothes”~ All of your ideas are really cute, but I’m so sorry I didn’t have time to do all of them ;;_;; I hope you’ll have a new year just as blissful and lovely as those suggestions :“> Happy New Year!
we should probably just stick to spreading rumors, huh?
happy holidays @sniffle-kun !!! i absolutely loved your idea of the occult club checking out some creepy warehouse, it was really fun to write! anyways, i hope you enjoy these gay kids making terribly unsafe decisions………. just like always
Of everything that A-ya had ever asked of him, this was perhaps the most demanding.
It had started the day before last when their idle conversation had drifted to some old warehouse that B-ko passed by every day on her way to school. All it had taken was one comment about the creepy vibe it gave off to make A-ya lean forward in his seat, his eyes alight with interest, a grin slowly creeping across his face as he said: “Let’s go check it out.”
By all accounts, it was a terrible idea. Not that C-ta was worried about ghosts or anything of the sort; he’d never believed, just feigned interest for A-ya’s sake. It was just that this “club activity” would mean staying up until midnight, bundling up against the cold, and trudging through some dilapidated building until they got bored and left. It was a waste of time, and not only that, he had an exam tomorrow morning.
Still. Logic never held much weight once A-ya was involved, and so C-ta had slipped on his coat and gloves and waited just outside of his front gate for A-ya like they’d discussed earlier.
A-ya didn’t bother with greetings when he walked up to him. He simply paused in his stride, saying, “You brought a flashlight, didn’t you?”
“Yep.” A little pocket flashlight was the only thing he could find in the kitchen drawer, but he was sure it would work just fine.
“And your phone?”
C-ta smiled. “Of course.” Those had been the only two things that A-ya had requested for everyone to bring. Internally, C-ta thought they were woefully unprepared for any kind of actual ghost hunting, but then again, what else could they have brought? The “professionals” in the shows that A-ya liked always had such complicated devices: infrared cameras, motion detectors, special thermometers… nothing that any of them would ever have on hand.
A-ya gave a little hum of acknowledgment, seemingly satisfied, and continued walking. C-ta fell into step beside him, his hands buried deep in his pockets, watching their breath fog up in the night air as they walked in silence. There was no point in chatting. Everything from A-ya’s expression to the fast pace breaking their usual rhythm told C-ta that he was focused purely on their mission and nothing else.
He did, however, quietly inquire if he was going to be warm enough in his thin-looking hoodie. A-ya simply rolled his eyes in response, and C-ta reluctantly let the matter drop.
The two of them turned a corner and almost bumped right into B-ko, whose back was towards them as she talked to D-ne. Hearing their approach, she turned sharply on her heel to face them. “God, what took you so long?” She made no attempt to mask her irritation, letting it seep into her voice and twist her expression into a scowl. “We’ve been waiting for- hang on, let me check- twenty minutes! Twenty!” She shoved her phone in their faces, the dangling charms swinging dangerously close to A-ya’s nose.
12:37, read the display, and to be fair, that was far past the scheduled meeting time. The cause of their tardiness was simple: the two of them were late because A-ya had been late leaving his house. C-ta knew the reason why, of course. He’d watched with fond amusement while A-ya got lost in researching about the warehouse, browsing forums and articles and even pulling up the floor plans. He’d only broken out of his trance once C-ta had taken pity on him and called his phone.
Still, that wasn’t something that he was supposed to know about. Regardless, he should have been covering for A-ya anyways. So he apologized on A-ya’s behalf, acting abashed. “That was my fault. I had to make sure my parents were asleep before I left,” he explained.
“Hmph.” B-ko looked a little less annoyed, but she wasn’t about to let them off the hook just yet. “D-ne and I could have died, you know, freezing our asses off outside of a creepy place like this.”
D-ne, standing by B-ko’s side, giggled. “B-ko, I did say that I would hug you if you got too cold. I’m sure that would have warmed you up, right?” D-ne moved as if she were going to twirl a strand of hair around her finger, but with her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, she simply brushed her fingers against her ear, slightly flushed from the cold.
B-ko’s ears tinged pink too, though her blush quickly spread across her entire face. “Hey, don’t-” Knowing that there was no point in complaining, she looked away and changed the subject with a slight cough. “T… this place is looking sketchier and sketchier the more I’ve been staring at it.” The four of them turned to take in the run-down building, the shattered windows, the flimsy police tape covering the entrance. B-ko shivered and crossed her arms. “Is… anyone else getting a bad feeling about this…?”
“If you want to leave, then leave.” A-ya’s voice was firm as he took a step forward, unwavering. “I’m going to explore it, though, with or without you. Is anyone coming with me?”
C-ta’s response was instantaneous. “I’m going,” he blurted out. He thought he heard D-ne faintly snicker behind his back, but the tiny nod that A-ya gave him was more than worth it.
B-ko glanced up at the building with trepidation written all over her face before she looked over to D-ne. D-ne simply tilted her head, offering nothing but the unspoken message of I’ll go wherever you go. B-ko sighed. “Fine. This is such a bad idea and we’re probably- no. We’re almost definitely going to get killed, but–“ She threw her hands up into the air, relenting. "Fine! I’m going.”
“Don’t worry, B-ko.” D-ne slipped an arm through hers, linking them together. “I’ll protect you,” she said, her smile as sugary sweet as her voice. “If we get into trouble, we’ll just leave these two behind as bait.”
Which, of course, made B-ko throw her head back and laugh. “Good idea! Offer them up as a human sacrifice, and I’m sure we’ll be just fine!”
C-ta let out a rueful sigh. “These two are just as cruel as ever, huh, A-ya…?” He towards A-ya, but blinked when he noticed that A-ya was buried in his cell phone. Not typing like usual, but instead frantically scanning the screen, like he was searching for something. Judging by the little furrow of his brows, he wasn’t having much success. “What’s up?”
A-ya glanced up quickly, went back to searching for just a moment, and then snapped his phone shut with a grumble of frustration. “C-ta, your phone can record audio, right?”
“Ah… yeah…?”
“Let me see it,” he said, holding out his hand expectantly. No explanation, no room for protests.
Everything inside of him instantly blanched at the request. Forget ghost hunting, that was the worst idea he’d heard all night. If A-ya were to look through his phone, find some of the screenshots he’d taken from the cameras… Well. It went without saying that was not a conversation he wanted to be having today, or anytime in the near future, for that matter.
But, still… he couldn’t just let A-ya down, right…?
With his stomach twisted into anxious knots, he carefully opened the voice memo app and passed the phone over. For a few moments, he was breathless as he waited for A-ya to start searching through his phone, just like he’d be doing if their situations were reversed.
Clearly, though, A-ya had no interest in anything like that. “I want to have a record of this, in case anything happens. Not only that, but ghosts sometimes leave messages behind on audio devices, things that we can’t perceive in the moment. So, we might be able to hear something once we listen to it later.”
“Assuming the ghost doesn’t just kill us first,” B-ko muttered under her breath.
A-ya lifted a finger to his lips, and once all was quiet, he cleared his throat and pressed the button.
“This is A-ya, of the Occult Research Club.” As he spoke, he stood a little straighter, his mouth upturned in a hint of glee, and his voice took on an almost grandiose tone. He’d been resistant to the idea at first, but lately, he’d embraced his role as the unofficial president of their after-school activities. “The four of us- myself, B-ko, C-ta, and D-ne- are standing outside the abandoned warehouse, a place rumored to have been the site of a horrific cult massacre–”
“Wait, cult?!” B-ko interjected. “You didn’t say anything about–”
“If you knew, you wouldn’t have come at all. Now, shh!” He turned away from B-ko, looking up at the building with shameless delight. “As I was saying, this alleged killing ground may be a place of extreme paranormal activity. To investigate the rumors further, we will be thoroughly combing the area for anything unusual. This audio will document the entire search, beginning… now.”
"Oh my God,” B-ko moaned, dragging her hands down her face. “We are absolutely going to die.”
D-ne gave her a half-hearted pat on the back, but when she and C-ta met eyes, her face was notably paler than usual.
A-ya, waiting just outside the door, turned and frantically motioned for them to come along.
C-ta had always told himself that he would follow A-ya to the depths of Hell if need be, but he wondered if that time had come sooner than he’d anticipated.
—
In the end, though, the majority of their search was uneventful. They had each taken a flashlight and, determined to defy the most cliches of tropes, stuck close together as they searched. It was tense at first, heart-pounding, but gradually, the dusty rooms all started to blend together as they failed to find any signs of an accident or murder.
In fact, it was turning out to be downright boring, to borrow A-ya’s favorite phrase. He’d discouraged talking, saying that their voices could interfere with any kind of spiritual communication. So the majority of the conversations were terse, the replies monosyllabic:
“Find anything?”
“No.”
Or: “Should we move on?”
“Yeah.”
…And so on. Frankly, by the time it took for them to make it to the upper floor, C-ta was desperately trying to fight back yawns. He didn’t want to show how tired he felt. It was only going to make A-ya upset.
B-ko and D-ne, on the other hand, weren’t so concerned about A-ya’s feelings. As the night wore on, their suggestions that maybe they should call it quits morphed into exasperated sighs and complaints about the cold and the late hour and the dullness of their task.
“Come on, just one more room,” A-ya would say, unflappable. “There’s something here. I’m certain of it.”
And, after hearing that reply for the umpteenth time, B-ko finally snapped. “A-ya, there’s nothing here!” She shined her flashlight all around the hallway as if trying to prove her point. “We’re just wasting our time! There’s no ghosts, or cultists, or whatever the hell you were expecting! This is just some old building that never got repaired- A-ya, are you listening to me?!”
He wasn’t. He wasn’t even facing her. A-ya had stopped short in front of a door, examining it closely. “If there’s nothing here…” he said, a smile slowly creeping across his face. “Then, tell me. Why is this room- and only this room- boarded up?”
They all stopped short, three pairs of flashlights shifting to illuminate the door. Two pieces of wood had been crudely nailed across its surface. A-ya, with smug satisfaction dancing in his eyes, turned to face them with a grin.
“Well…” B-ko, at a loss for words, eyed the door cautiously. “Well, okay, yeah, that is suspicious. But even so,” she said, shaking her head. “We should still leave. We’d need a crowbar to get that door open anyways.”
But A-ya wasn’t deterred; he walked closer, bending down to examine the boards as he absentmindedly shoved C-ta’s phone into his pocket. “No, look. The nails are all rusted away, and the wood looks like it’ll just fall apart. In fact, if I do this…” With a slight grunt, A-ya wrapped his hands around the top of the board and pulled, falling back on his heels as he strained to pull it loose. When it gave, he tossed the board aside and looked at them over his shoulder. “See?”
B-ko rolled up her sleeves and demanded to do the next one. A-ya shrugged and stepped aside, making way for B-ko and for D-ne, who was anxiously hovering at her side. C-ta watched as A-ya picked out a splinter and admonished himself for not bringing any band-aids. With little else to offer, he slipped off his gloves and held them out towards A-ya with a smile. “Here. In case you’re going to be doing any more carpentry.”
But A-ya just shoved his hand away and rolled his eyes. “I’m not planning on it,” he said shortly.
Before C-ta had the chance to protest, the sound of breaking wood forced his attention back towards the door, no longer barricaded. B-ko tried the doorknob but hovered on the threshold once it swung open, uncertain. A-ya, with no such reservations, slipped beside her, C-ta’s phone in one hand, the other shining his flashlight all around the room.
Nothing about it stood out right away. It was small, packed with shelves that were packed in turn with dusty old boxes. There was no blood, no sigils, and certainly no decaying corpses hiding in the corners. Still, when A-ya took a few steps forward, he moved slowly, cautiously.
He, B-ko, and D-ne hung back, watching as A-ya lifted the phone up towards to his mouth, speaking in a hushed tone. “Something terrible happened here, didn’t it?” The three of them glanced at each other in confusion, uncertain if A-ya was addressing them or not. “Whether it was an accident, or something more malicious… If someone’s presence is here…” He trailed off, before breathing out: “If you’re in this room, then give us some kind of sign.”
For a long, long moment, no one dared to so much as breathe. C-ta stood, on hand resting on the doorframe, watching as A-ya held himself perfectly still, waiting for a voice, for a knock, for even the smallest of sounds…
But everything was still and quiet. With his shoulders slumping in obvious disappointment, A-ya exhaled loudly and turned back to face them. The floorboards let out a horrible creak, and that was the only warning before a piece of rotten wood fell out underneath A-ya’s foot.
“Ah–!”
The phone and flashlight went flying into the air as A-ya scrambled to grab a hold onto one of the shelves. His fingers slipped and strained to keep him upright as he tried to pull his leg out from the jagged hole in the floor–
–And C-ta moved without thinking, shoving past B-ko and D-ne to rush to A-ya’s side and wrap his arms tightly around his torso, pulling up with every ounce of strength he could find. A-ya lost his grip on the shelf and instead took desperate fistfuls of C-ta’s jacket- and C-ta staggered with the force of A-ya’s weight, but squared his stance and held on.
“I’m–” The eyes right in front of his own were wide with panic. “I’m stuck, I can’t–”
C-ta rushed to soothe him, to assure him, even as his own heart was beating against his ribcage. “It’s- it’s okay, I’ve got you, I won’t let go.” His words tripped over themselves in their desperate rush to be free. “Let me just… okay, here we go–!” C-ta tried to lift him out, and the small hiss of pain A-ya let out made his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut, murmured a quick apology, and pulled as hard as he could, hoisting A-ya back to not-so-solid ground even as he leg scraped against the wood.
He didn’t waste a single second; with his arm tight around his waist, he half-dragged A-ya towards the door, back towards safety, using his shoulder to shove past a stunned B-ko and D-ne. C-ta didn’t stop once they had crossed the doorway. Blind adrenaline pushed him forward, halfway down the hallway, before A-ya’s demands to stop brought him back to reality. Shit, shit- A-ya had gotten hurt, hadn’t he? How serious was it?
Quickly, he urged A-ya to take a seat on the floor and frantically rolled up A-ya’s pant leg. He fished out his flashlight and turned it on, shining it on A-ya’s ankle. Through all of his panic, some distant, detached part of his mind was relieved. It looked nasty, but it was really just a surface scrape. A-ya was fine. It wasn’t a big deal.
Even so, the hand holding the flashlight began to tremble.
“Are you okay?!” B-ko’s voice drifted over to them, accompanied by two sets of hurried footsteps. “Do you need a hospital or anything?”
“I’m fine.” C-ta’s head snapped up at the sound of A-ya’s composed voice. He stood up carefully, wincing a little as he shifted his weight onto his bad ankle. “It’s not that bad. It’ll heal in a few days.”
C-ta stood too, far more shakily. The tremor had worked its way into his entire body and he clenched his fists at his sides, his nails digging so sharply into his skin that it stung.
B-ko smiled. “That’s a relief,” she said, clapping A-ya on the shoulder. “Seriously, for a second there, it looked like the whole floor was gonna collapse.”
C-ta’s head spun. Collapse, he repeated to himself, dazed. Collapse and swallow A-ya whole.
D-ne piped up, and her calm voice grated against his ears. “You know, I was wondering… Maybe the reason this room was boarded up was because it was unsafe, and that’s all.”
Something snapped in the back of C-ta’s brain, and he whirled around to face her. “So why the hell didn’t you mention that earlier?!” He knew it was a terrible idea to lose his cool like this, but he just couldn’t stop. The pressure building in his chest was exploding, cold fury pushing him forward until he was standing right in front of D-ne, shouting: “A-ya could’ve gotten seriously hurt in there! Do you even care about that?!”
A bemused expression crossed her face. “Well, it turned out fine, didn’t it? Since his white knight was there to sweep him off his feet.” And she had the nerve to laugh like this was all some kind of funny joke, and C-ta moved to grab her by the collar, his mouth twisting into a snarl and he just wanted her to shut up–
“Hey! Back off!” B-ko shoved her way between them, hands on her hips as she glared up at him fiercely. “D-ne didn’t do anything wrong. None of us could’ve known what would happen in there. And I didn’t exactly hear you mention how dangerous it might’ve been, did I?”
C-ta staggered back, stunned, desperately trying to find the words to retaliate and justify his anger.
“I-I…”
But there was no justification, was there? She was right. He should’ve been the one to point out the risk. Looking after A-ya was his responsibility, and no one else’s. He’d been so caught up in going along with whatever A-ya wanted that he’d completely glossed over the very real possibility of something going wrong. How could he have let A-ya get into so much trouble? He should’ve been more careful, should’ve warned him, should’ve insisted–
“C-ta.” A-ya’s voice made him jump, and when he whipped his head around to look at him, his expression was strangely serious. “It’s fine. Let it go.”
He didn’t know whether it was supposed to be an empty assurance that he wasn’t at fault or a request to just let the matter drop. Either way, with three pairs of eyes boring into him, he quickly crumbled. “Sorry,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “I, uh, lost myself for a second there.”
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so angry.” D-ne’s tone was light, conversational, but her grin was just a bit too wide to hide her obvious taunting. “I suppose the only thing that gets you riled up is A-ya, isn’t it? He must be very important to you.”
“Maybe too important,” B-ko said as she shook her head. “You need a hobby, C-ta.”
C-ta clenched his jaw, but after a moment, he forced a smile to return to his face. They were teasing, and he knew how to dish it out in kind. “Hey, cut me some slack! I bet if it was B-ko who’d gotten hurt, you’d be just as worried as I was, right, D-ne?”
“Oh, more so.” D-ne clasped her hands behind her back. “If I thought you were responsible for hurting her, you wouldn’t be leaving this building alive, C-ta.”
B-ko laughed, her tone a little strained, almost awkward. “D… D-ne, come on, don’t sound so serious when you say something like that…”
“Hey.” A-ya’s voice broke through their argument, and they all watched as he patted his pockets furiously. “What happened to C-ta’s phone?”
C-ta had only a half-second to feel panicked before B-ko piped up. “I, uh, ducked in and grabbed it. It kinda flew out of your hands, but… it didn’t really hit the landing.” She handed the phone out towards C-ta sheepishly, turning it over to reveal a hairline fracture running down the dark screen.
“Oh, no,” he breathed out as he slowly took it from her. A-ya’s going to be so disappointed, he thought.
But when he tried the home button, the screen miraculously returned to life, showing the time, the date, and, most importantly–
“Is it still recording?!” A-ya’s hand clutched his arms tightly as he leaned over to carefully scrutinize his phone.
“I… I think so!” he exclaimed. “Look, it’s still moving, and the time’s still going up, and–” He watched the sound waves spike in response to his excited babbling. When he looked over at A-ya, beaming, he was delighted to find a wicked smile on A-ya’s face, too.
B-ko reached over to tap A-ya on the shoulder, breaking them out of their trances. “I hate to ruin your little moment, but… we should get going. We don’t want the entire building to fall down on us.”
“…Yes, I suppose that’s true,” A-ya murmured rather listlessly, before reaching out to end the recording.
—
“So, what do you think?” C-ta whispered, trying to avoid making even the smallest noise as he grabbed the first aid kit from under the bathroom counter. “Could the floor have collapsed because of a ghost?”
A-ya hummed thoughtfully, absentmindedly swinging his legs back and forth as he sat on the counter. The heels of his feet lightly bumped against the drawers, and the sound, though muted, still made C-ta wince. They had to be quiet as they could unless C-ta wanted to explain to his parents why he was patching up A-ya’s scraped ankle at two in the morning.
Though, C-ta mused to himself as he grabbed disinfectant and one of largest band-aids he could find, it was his own fault if they got caught. A-ya had wanted to limp home on his own, but there was no way that C-ta was going to let that happen. Knowing A-ya, he’d probably just crawl into bed without bothering to properly clean up.
“I’m not sure,” A-ya finally admitted. “The timing is suspicious, but I didn’t feel any kind of… grip pulling me down, or anything like that. So it’s hard to tell.” He placed a hand against his chin and closed his eyes, deep in thought. “…Hm. Well, maybe once we listen to the audio, we’ll be able to- ow.”
“Sorry,” C-ta said automatically. “We have to get this disinfected, though. Don’t worry, I’m almost done.”
A-ya was silent for while, curling his hands around the countertop as C-ta, slowly, oh so carefully, tore away the band-aid’s adhesive. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, almost apologetic: “Sorry about your phone.”
C-ta looked up, startled, before he gave A-ya the most reassuring smile he could. “It’s alright. I’m just glad we didn’t lose the recording.” He wrapped the band-aid around A-ya’s ankle before he stood, washed his hands, and turned towards A-ya. “Do you wanna listen to it?”
A-ya grinned back. “Obviously.” And with that, he had hopped off the counter and was tip-toeing towards C-ta’s bedroom. Taking a moment to put the first aid kit back, C-ta thanked every god he could think of that he’d had the foresight to turn his computer off before he’d left.
When C-ta slipped into his room and softly shut the door behind him, A-ya was already sitting on his bed and working on untangling the earbuds that C-ta had left on his computer desk. He took a cautious seat beside him, plugged the headphones in, and slipped one into his ear. C-ta had made sure to leave several inches of space between them, but as he accepted the earbud that C-ta held out for him, A-ya shifted close enough that their shoulders brushed.
C-ta’s heart was in his throat as he shakily started the recording, barely listening to the sound of A-ya’s introduction. He fought to keep his face from burning with every ounce of willpower that he possessed. This wasn’t a big deal. They had to sit close together to make sure that the cord could reach. A-ya had to lean in closer to whisper requests to rewind to certain sections. How else was he supposed to hear him? Simple semantics. That was all it was.
Even so, his heart soared when A-ya, who’d been struggling to keep his eyes open, dropped his head onto his shoulder. C-ta’s breath hitched, and he quietly murmured A-ya’s name, disbelieving and hoping all in the same breath–
But A-ya didn’t respond. With a careful crane of his neck, he could see that A-ya had fallen fast asleep. C-ta chuckled warmly and slowly reached up to pull his earbud out. There was no point in letting the sound wake him up. If there were any ghosts, C-ta decided that they could wait until the morning.
For @art-chiharu,
Wish: Film club girls wear kimono for new year.
-- @ellery-rein
Red Silk
Red silk. It looked like blood when it was wrapped around you. The way that it swayed with your grace. That night I never said, but you looked beautiful. The way the lights of the parade danced around you. The way your hair was neatly done in a bun; how the ivory kanzashi complemented your auburn hair. How the cherry blossom prints on the silk made it vibrant.
At that night, I wondered why we weren’t close. I see you at school and call you as my friend, but after that nothing else. The ties that bind us were like veins that powered a body. That delivered blood to the brain and the heart. How E-ki was fitting to be the heart of our group. He also had the role of the brains of our club. It was foolish. He acted as if he was directing us to do something. Our lives were like a short movie. Short because it didn’t really last that long. Short because the time that we knew who it was, it was too late. The word short also reminded me of your hair. It reminded me of you temper. It reminded me of the time we had together.
It was short and sweet.
The Fox Parade seemed like a breeze. The night was beautiful and we were together because you wanted to, “Go together to get blessed.” it actually meant that you wanted to invite me as an excuse to hang out.
When you told me to wear a kimono I thought you were joking. I called it stupid, but you said it was required and it would look lovely on me. You looked down when you murmured those last words. Wishing as if I wouldn’t hear the compliment you had casually thrown. But it was enough to smile and snatch the clothing on your hands. After I got dressed you were standing outside waiting for me. You gave a little bounce and gave me a thousands of compliments that irked my blood. It was sappy, but new and it felt nice. So you went in to the bathroom stall while I stuffed my clothes in the bag that you brought. ‘I bet I look ridiculous.’ was all I could think.
When you came out, the kimono looked so red and vivid. You even did your hair in a bun. Were you trying to impress me? Or maybe you want to coax me into doing my hair like that. I insisted that I wore my hair as usual. Not wanting to put effort into this little scene that we were doing. While my kimono was emerald with animal prints that annoyed me, you had something that piqued my interest. You reminded me of a certain urban legend. The woman who had a slitted-mouth. When she deftly held her scissors to cut someone, it was amusing.
“How does it look?” I blinked in surprise. The realization made me chuckle because you innocently wanted to fish a couple of compliments from me. “You look fine. Let’s go.” I turned around and walked away— slowly just so I could hear her feet shuffle. Minutes later we’re walking side by side, looking at the stalls selling masks. Observing the people around us. This seemed like something I actually wouldn’t do, but being with you made it better.
I halted in front of a stall and you followed. “Do you want to wear a mask or paint your face?” Your eyes widened when I asked. “I'd… I’d want a mask.” before I could tell the lady selling, you jumped in. “We’d have two masks, please!” You blurted that out suddenly while giving me a smile.
When the parade started, it felt surreal walking with these people. Some had their faces painted with whites and oranges, some bought masks. And you were there beside me, bouncing from happiness and excitement.
You know? As the parade started all I could feel was the foxes—painted faces and masked— was staring at us. It made my skin crawl. Their eyes were red and blank. I wanted to run, scream or do anything just to get them away from us. I was shaking and you felt it because I felt you hand on mine. It was… warm. As we kept walking I don’t want to close my eyes. I wanted to look at you or just feel that you were there.
I don’t want to be alone.
It didn’t occur to me that the parade was finished. When we reached the shrine, we gave our prayers and stayed for a while. Watching people go from here and there. You didn’t talk. Not one bit. Maybe you knew that I didn’t say anything. Maybe I just want to hold your hand again for reassurance because all of this felt too weird.
I sighed and you stood up. You looked at the trees aligned behind us and breathed the earthy scent surrounding us.
You held out your hand and with a bright smile you said, “C-na, let’s go home.”
And my world crumbled because next thing I knew was that you were in a pool of blood. The next thing I knew was darkness. Not even pain.
I want to see your smile again. I want to see your red head again. I want to feel your warmth again. I want to say every little thing that I held back. Everything is blurry–the memories fading. All I can see is a fog surrounding me. The foxes around me again, but this time you aren’t here.
It means I can’t escape.
Note: I’m sorry if I can’t finish the fanart I planned for this. I kept erasing and throwing after I was finished because I’m an insecure binch. I hope you liked my angsty fics though. Happy Holidays! ♡ ;;v;;
For, @art-chiharu
Wish: D-suke and E-ki go out to celebrate Christmas together
-- @ellery-rein
Reverie
The ringing in my ear; the palpitation of my heart are the only things that I hear. At first all I could see was darkness, but then I hear the murmuring sounds, the scrambling of a crowds collective feet. Then I see the blurring colors of the city. It feels like looking at the reflecting of a sunset in the sea. It makes me feel whole—not alone, not miserable. Do you ever feel like staying at this memory? Because the last thing I saw were all of my friends’ blood around me and their curling scream as I fall on the floor— unconscious of their pain and last breaths. That was the last thing I remembered. As the darkness enveloped me, I somehow wake up in this dream or memory and all I want to do is stay.
As the image of the city clears, I hear the Christmas songs dedicated to a god that I never really knew. The thrumming of the sounds seem fresh and lively to my ears. The memories are flooding me in my mind and I feel like drowning. I want to be enveloped in my mother’s embrace again; I want to watch the weather with them while they complain about how cold December is. I want to taste the snow-like cake that looked delectable with its strawberries. I want to be with my friends who made me laugh and feel like I didn’t have remorse within me.
Then I saw you.
When I whipped my head to let this scene sink in, I saw your pale face that was flushed. Either by cold or something else. I saw your dyed electric blue hair that made me feel tingling inside me as I see it within the crowd. I saw your bangs hiding your eyes that was painted like the sky. Nonchalantly I whisk my hand to brush it away from those mirrors that you hide.
And I saw myself.
It felt too much. I saw my face within your eyes and it felt surreal. This wasn’t a memory from last year. It was two years ago. The day you asked if I was free tomorrow, on Christmas Eve. You asked casually while eating chips. I remember laughing at you because I could see the nervousness radiating from your body. It was addicting to see your slouch and the way that you ate your snacks. At that time I didn’t want you to see me blush at your sudden request, so I laughed to hide my feelings. Then I said a casual, “Yes.” and waited for your reaction. As you stood in front of our gate, you hid the surprise so well.
“That’s cool. We should hang out more. I’ll pick— I mean, come by tomorrow. Yeah?” the words seemed like waves— calming and sporadic. I want to hear those words again. Today or maybe tonight in this memory.
“Don’t do that,” you didn’t do anything when you said that. You never do stop me from touching you. The way your pinkish nose scrunched up to look irritated just made me chuckle. “But you like it. So?” I grinned and I saw you stare at me softly.
I retreated my hand and let your bangs fall on your face, again, hiding your eyes from the world as I rested my hands on my pocket. I looked around and it all feels too much. I looked at the streets pelted with snow, couples hand-in-hand, friends laughing at their inside jokes, and families spending time with each other. I don’t know why you brought me to the busy streets.
“So why are we—” when I tried to ask, you grabbed at my arm and nudged me to an alley. I thought you were going to do something and my face immediately felt hot.
“I just… wanted to show this to you.”
You let go of my arm and took a step back. The place looked beautiful. It was a bridge and beneath it was a running river. The trees pelted with snow and decorated with fairy lights made it magical. Even though there were a lot of people it was amazing. It made me feel suffocated, not because of the people scattered but because of the feelings that were lodged up in my throat. I wanted to tell you the thoughts running in my mind.
I heard you sigh beside me. I didn’t even hear you step near me. “Do you like it?” I was supposed to say, “It’s amazing.” or was it “This looks awesome.” I can’t remember, but before I could reply I heard you shift and step closer.
“I never really go outside that much so… maybe you’ve seen this or not. I don’t know.” The words seemed to fade, slowly as your words flowed. I could tell that you wanted me to be surprised. “This is really cool.” I ducked under you, hoping to meet your eyes as I stare at your face.
Hoping to meet the mirrors that indicate me that this is only a memory. That I could lose you in a heartbeat. That if I can replay this in my mind, I would do it. Over and over again. Because I want to see the energy spark on your eyes as you stare at me. I want to feel the warmth of you hands as you gently grab my arm and lead me to the railings of the bridge. Passing by every stranger. They seemed like a blur and it was only us within that moment. I remember resting my hands on the rails, with you doing the same. Making it look like it was an accident when you brushed your fingertips on my hands.
“This is perfect.”
I can feel my tears flowing on my cheeks and seeing the shock on your face. I can feel our surroundings fade until it was just the two of us. You lift your hand to brush my hair away as I cry.
I remember you fading. Until all I hear were my sobs and hiccups echoing in the darkness.
But then I hear your voice, and I closed my eyes and bit my lip. Trying to stop my sobs so I could hear—remember the last words that I remember from that night.
“Stop being sappy. I’m here.”
All I could feel was the warmth of your hands on my face and the dark swallowed me whole. I could only mutter these words as the memory fades away.
HELLO I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME THE PAST FEW DAYS WHETHER YOU CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS OR NOT. i, a person who no longer uses tumblr, am your secret santa here to deliver the ca and db content. sorry i can’t write e-noru or b-ka so i just did this. there’s no were near as much c-ta kicking in this compared to last year, but i hope you enjoy this nonetheless!
A few weeks before Christmas, C-ta arrived early to the abandoned school building as always. After tossing his bag onto a random desk, he sat down and took out his phone. He had about ten minutes before A-ya would come in. There wasn’t much to do besides respond to some texts from his classmates.
To his confusion, only three minutes had passed when he heard footsteps. A small part of him felt anxious (the stories a-ya tells can get scary sometimes, but he’d take that to his grave), but he didn’t move. Those stories were just that in the end, stories. So, there’s no phantom coming by right now.
As he expected, the footsteps didn’t belong to some apparition. It was just D-ne. She rarely came early, preferring to find B-ko first and walk over together. D-ne only ever came early to mess with him. But when she put her stuff to the side and leaned on the desk, facing the door, C-ta thought that she may just honestly be early for once. Maybe B-ko was busy, and–
“B-ko and I are going Christmas shopping together!”
And right as he thought that, she had to say something. he would’ve ignored her, if it wasn’t for her grin. It was as if she was mocking him—scratch that, it’s D-ne. Of course, she was mocking him. Why else would she come here when no one else was around? This happened every single time.
“Try announcing that to people who would give a shit, and not me, thanks,” he says with a scoff, turning his attention back to his phone. God, why did he ever come here early? Wait, it was so he could be here when A-ya came. Right. He tried not to sigh. Showing weakness in front of D-ne was dangerous, because she’d never stop poking at him about it.
“It’s a date, you know. A date. I’m going on a date with B-ko, and you aren’t going anywhere with A-ya, are you?” she said, her grin never faltering. How did such a small smile look so big and pompous? Were the levels of smugness inversely related to smile sizes?
“As if I’d tell you of all people anything about my plans. I wouldn’t put it past you to show up randomly and ruin everything,” he replied, sending a glare her way. C-ta knew the glare would do nothing to her, but he wanted to send one nonetheless.
Footsteps stopped D-ne from speaking further. They both turned their direction to the door and saw the other two members of their group walking in. Immediately, D-ne went over to B-ko. Now, C-ta was by no means religious, but the relief of not needing to speak to D-ne anymore was strong enough for him to consider thanking some higher power. Whatever that stopped D-ne from talking deserved thanks.
He drowned out the conversation the two girls were having and asked A-ya about any new rumors. That sent A-ya into his usual storyteller mode, calling for everyone’s attention. Did he make any acknowledgement at D-ne’s frown? Of course not. Did it satisfy him immensely? Absolutely. Petty revenge was wonderful.
The four of them spent a little more than an hour conversing about rumors. Somewhere in that hour, A-ya went on a mini-rant about how the holiday season made people even more interested in boring fluffy romance.
“Even more than usual, all people want to hear about are about dates or other mundane things. I can’t even get a word in edgewise to start any rumors, not even when people start asking about B-ko or—”
“Don’t you dare spread more rumors about me, jerk!”
“I just said I couldn’t do anything. Even that chatty classmate of mine didn’t take the bait. It’s annoying. This entire season is annoying.”
Though this kind of topic would make normal people unhappy—speaking negatively of good things tended to upset people, after all—C-ta couldn’t help but smile. It was just so refreshing to see A-ya get worked up over something (though to everyone else, there was no difference from the usual pessimism. but c-ta knew). And when B-ko questioned about any potential Christmas-esque ghosts, A-ya just sighed more.
“None. There’s only the typical movies which sometimes feature ghosts and have zero scare potential. And those aren’t rumors to begin with, so there’s nothing.”
The meeting ended soon after, A-ya having no more interesting stories to tell or things to rant about, and the four of them split into their respective duos. C-ta heard snippets of the girls’ conversation as they left, picking out where to shop in a few days. A-ya heard too, if the blank stare locked onto their retreating figures meant anything.
“Do you want to go anywhere for Christmas, A-ya? With your parents or something?” C-ta asked as they began walking out.
“My parents got off work for once because they wanted to celebrate as a family, so there’s that planned. There’s nothing else besides that, and I don’t really want to do anything else.”
Disappointment made C-ta sag for a second, before quickly bouncing back up. He couldn’t let A-ya see that. But honestly, hearing that A-ya’s parents were off was a shock. For a while, C-ta’s dragged A-ya into spending Christmas with his family instead. Guess not this year. “Oh? No plans for some rumor spreading in the markets?”
“Like I said, everyone’s too focused on holiday cheer this year for that to have any effect.” A-ya made no mention or reference to C-ta’s sad display, thankfully. Instead, all the other boy did was frown.
C-ta used all his willpower to not laugh. A-ya just looked so unhappy, like some frustrated cat! He still smiled though. He smiled all the time, so it wouldn’t seem out of place. Unfortunately, that smile turned anxious at his friend’s next words.
“Maybe I should bury you in snow this year. There’s got to be some sort of spirit summoning that involves that.”
“Please don’t.”
The days after followed a similar pattern, up until the school released them for a break. On the last day of school, the group somehow ended up discussing their plans. This was a surprise for two reasons: one, plans like this were usually discussed earlier than this, and two, C-ta did not anticipate this group having this talk. But here they were, discussing winter plans as if they were like all the other students.
“D-ne and I are going shopping. I thought it’d be nice just going around some malls or plazas and seeing the decorations. Not on Christmas day, of course. Nothing’s open then, and I’m having dinner with my family.” B-ko said, starting the conversation. When she finished, she looked at the others expectantly.
“I’ve been invited to a few parties here and there, and people begged me to at least come, so I have that. I don’t plan on staying at any for more than an hour, though. I doubt any will be fun,” C-ta said, realizing that neither of the other two would start talking first. “I also celebrate with my family, and usually A-ya would join, but…”
“My parents managed to get time off so we’re together for once,” A-ya supplied, giving a light shrug.
Oh, C-ta did not like that smile D-ne had. It was just like the grin she had a few weeks ago. “Oh, so you’re not spending any time with C-ta this break? What a shame. I didn’t think you guys would go anywhere, but I expected something at least.”
“I’m surprised too! Maybe you guys can do something else before or after Christmas? Like playing in the snow,” B-ko said, with considerable less malice than D-ne. Her interjection was fast enough, and idea filled him with enough dread that he couldn’t boil over D-ne’s mockery.
“I do not want a repeat of me getting buried in snow.”
The others laughed at that (a-ya only had a small smile but c-ta will count it as a laugh), despite him finding no humor in this whatsoever. He got sick a couple days after last year’s impromptu snowball fight. Sure, there were some good moments, but he spent the rest of the break sick and miserable. He couldn’t even get out of bed to check on A-ya most of the time. What if something happened? It was a terrible week.
“I think that suited you, though.”
“I don’t acknowledge your opinions, witch.”
The conversation continued with more references to C-ta’s misfortune last year. D-ne spent half of the time smirking at him instead of focusing purely on B-ko, which he ignored. He refused to respond to her taunts (and they were taunts, even if she directed nothing at him). When the meeting finished, B-ko and D-ne left first like usual. Despite the holiday, everything seemed to go by as usual.
Except for the actual holiday, in which C-ta would not be spending with A-ya. Despite knowing for weeks, the thought still brought about a bitter taste in his mouth. Or maybe as the day drew closer, the more it ate at him. He wasn’t angry at A-ya’s parents by any means, but it just felt so… unreal to him. It was only one holiday, and it’s not like the two spent every moment together, and yet…
It felt so off. It felt so wrong. And C-ta hated this feeling. It was like a carpet was suddenly yanked out from under him, or he had no balance.
Even their walk home, filled with their usual banter did nothing to reassure him. Nothing’s changed, they were still best friends, everything’s the same… Like B-ko said, they could plan something else to make up for it. But whatever they planned wouldn’t be the usual Christmas together. It wouldn’t. And maybe that’s why C-ta couldn’t bring himself to ask about it as the two walked into their houses.
A few days passed by uneventfully until the 23rd. Today, D-ne would meet up with B-ko around 1 P.M. and they’d start their trip around town. The plan was to start at the mall, look through all the shops, and then move to some plazas to look at decorations. She brought enough money with her to buy one or two things to not seem suspicious; the idea was to go Christmas shopping, but that was just an excuse to spend time with B-ko.
Thinking about how great it would to be with B-ko alone for several hours and imagining how cute B-ko would be, D-ne arrived at their meeting spot twenty minutes early. There was no way she’d make B-ko wait in the cold! And there was also no way she wouldn’t wave to B-ko as soon as she came, so D-ne just kept a lookout.
To her excitement, she saw B-ko walk over ten minutes before their meeting time. She knew B-ko would come early, but ten minutes early? Maybe she was as excited as D-ne. Just maybe. With a smile, she called out to B-ko and began waving. B-ko smiled in return as she rushed her way over.
“Jeez, I thought ten minutes would be early enough! You haven’t been here for long, have you?” B-ko asked, smoothing her clothes. She looked adorable.
“No, no! I just got here myself!” D-ne said, laughing lightly. Moving closer to knock shoulders, she pointed to the mall. “Shall we go?”
The smile B-ko gave her could melt glaciers. If only she could’ve taken a picture of the moment. “Of course!”
They walked to and through the mall rather close together, partly because it was cramped, and partly because D-ne wanted to brush arms together. B-ko didn’t seem to notice, or care. Hopefully it was the latter. The shops had nothing of interest, especially not when B-ko was with her, but D-ne spent some time away from B-ko in the shops. It’d look a bit too suspicious, a bit too much like a certain boy.
Being separated also meant there were chances for B-ko to find something interesting and walk over to show it to her. D-ne took these as opportunities to take a picture (with permission, of course) under the guise of sending whatever item B-ko picked up to the others. It wasn’t really a lie, since D-ne did send some pictures with mocking captions to C-ta (cropped, so none of b-ko. he didn’t deserve any pictures of her).
Unfortunately, D-ne stopped after a few pictures, because she got too distracted. Whenever B-ko rushed over to here with a cry of “Hey, D-ne!” or “D-ne, look at this!”, she felt too giddy to do much besides pay attention. And sometimes, whenever B-ko handed something to D-ne, their fingers touched. There was nothing else she could do besides go along with B-ko’s pace.
By the time they finished looking through all the shops, several hours passed. It was half past four and the sun began to set. D-ne couldn’t believe that time went by so quickly, but she was snapped out of it when she felt something warm on her hand.
B-ko was holding her hand.
She made out some words like “too many people,” “gotta get to the plazas,” and “might get lost.” But as they walked out of the mall, all D-ne could focus on was B-ko’s hand in hers. She couldn’t even think, her mind was blank. Without realizing, she squeezed.
B-ko squeezed back.
Somewhere along the way, the two girls found themselves on a decorated street. The soft white lights strung around wrapped around lampposts and hovered above. D-ne came to a stop, causing B-ko to look at her with confusion.
“B-ko, the lights are so pretty!”
“Oh, yeah! I’m surprised to see the street so decorated, but it’s nice.
“Hey, let me take a picture of you here! It’d be perfect!”
“H-Huh? Well, if you really want to…”
They had to let go of each other’s hands, but D-ne found it to be a necessary evil. She could always try holding B-ko’s hand after, too. But this was a one-time opportunity for the photo. Taking out her phone, she pointed the shutter at B-ko. With the lights glowing behind her and her smile, B-ko really did look like an angel.
After taking several shots for good measure, D-ne told B-ko she was done. Putting away her phone, D-ne had no idea what the other was doing.
So, her face when she felt B-ko wrap an arm around her waist and heard B-ko go “say cheese!” was one of utter surprise. She heard the shutter go off, but B-ko still didn’t let go.
“Hey, I want one of you smiling too!”
She burst into the biggest smile of her life.
Though D-ne forgot about the pictures she sent because of the rest of her night, the reluctant recipient did not. C-ta was downright pissed at all the pictures she sent, with messages geared to pointing out how he wasn’t doing anything with A-ya. She stopped after six, but it was infuriating nonetheless. And since he wasn’t doing anything with A-ya, there was nothing to distract him from his annoyance.
Hell, he couldn’t even check up on A-ya most of the time! Since his parents were off, A-ya spent his time around them in the kitchen or the living room. It’s not like A-ya was never in his room, but he wasn’t there enough! What was C-ta supposed to do?
Sure, there were the parties his classmates were holding, but he would barely ever go to them normally! And when he was in this shitty of a mood? No. Absolutely not. Instead, C-ta spent his days up until Christmas moping around (but not enough for his parents to think anything of it, oh god no).
And when he woke up to a Christmas day where A-ya wouldn’t be coming over?
It felt like shit.
Reluctantly, C-ta got up before his parents came banging at his door for not being awake on this fine, cheery, wonderful Christmas day. He need time to shape his face into something presentable. Dunking his face into water was a good start.
He came out of the restroom to see his parents setting up the table for three. Three. He felt his stomach sink. This was the fucking worst. And to his horror, his parents noticed his face fall. They reassured him, but he refused to listen, zoning out their words. He put on a smile, of course, but he didn’t want to hear anyone say it’ll be alright and he could spend time with A-ya later. It didn’t change how A-ya wasn’t here now.
The dinner was agonizing. It took all C-ta had to not look at the empty seat, acting as if everything was fine to his parents. They ate slowly while they spoke, and C-ta slowly eased into the same persona he put on in class. He shoved down all his negativity. He’d acknowledge it later, but not now, not now, not in front of others.
When the meal was over with, his parents suggested a movie. C-ta bit the inside of his mouth. He wanted to rush over to his room instead and check if he could see A-ya, but he knew that it was pointless. So, he agreed, and they all sat together on the couch and watched some run-of-the-mill romantic comedy. His parents enjoyed it at least, and focused on the movie completely. It gave him some time to zone out again, and this time he thought of nothing.
Without him realizing, his parents went on a bit of a movie marathon. Did he just waste several hours doing nothing…? Looking at the clock told him yes, yes, he did. God. It was late enough to start cooking dinner, so he offered to help his parents. He didn’t actually want to cook, but he just needed to do something.
He tried not to think while he helped. He tried not to think of when he was a kid and baked Christmas cookies with A-ya. He focused on cutting the vegetables perfectly, on getting the exact amount of liquid in the measuring cups. And when dinner came along, he just ate food and listened closely to his parents. By giving himself enough stimulus, he could distract himself.
But when the day was over, and nothing was to be done, there was nothing he could use as a distraction. When his parents finally decided to turn in, C-ta rushed up to his room. The utter dejection he felt when he couldn’t see A-ya made his throat burn. He thought being sick for weeks last year was bad? He’d take that over this in a heartbeat.
When he threw himself on his bed, he couldn’t fall asleep. It didn’t surprise him at all—he spent today doing nothing, so how could he be tired. With a sigh, he sat up against the wall and took out his phone. He read the texts he got from his classmates, most of them pictures of the parties he missed. There were some holiday wishes, the goddamn pictures D-ne sent…
He got a phone call.
C-ta blinked, doing nothing for a few seconds besides letting the phone vibrate in his hand. He was too out of it to read the caller ID, but maybe it was important. With a sigh, he rubbed his eyes and saw—
“A-ya?!”
“Don’t yell.”
When he realized who it was, C-ta pressed answer as soon as he could. He spent so much time just looking at his phone, and the call could’ve stopped at any moment. Belatedly, he realized he was shaking.
A-ya called him. He called him! This meant something, this meant that A-ya missed him, or A-ya was thinking of him, or something. C-ta felt like he was in space, like he was floating. After a day of not hearing A-ya’s voice when he should’ve been here, he could hear it again. There was some semblance of normalcy again. He could breathe. He was breathing like normal again.
At least, that’s how he felt until he noticed that A-ya wasn’t talking. He did call him, right? So why wasn’t he saying anything? Unless it was a misdial, and he didn’t want C-ta to pick up. That would be embarrassing as hell, but he could manage with that.
But what if A-ya called to tell C-ta that he preferred spending Christmas with his own family and not with C-ta? What if his silence was just him thinking about how to phrase it? What if A-ya never wanted to spend Christmas with C-ta ever again? That can’t be right, but what if—
“It was weird not hearing you talking about whatever today.”
Those words stopped all the fears he had. C-ta laughed, the first laugh he had today. “Oh? Did you miss me? Haha, you’re helpless without me, aren’t you? Should we ask our parents to have a joint dinner next year, if your parents can get off again?”
It was just a passing thought to keep the conversation going, but A-ya answered anyway. “… It wouldn’t be that bad.”
