“come back with a warrant”
i felt that. i shall start using that answer. it’s perfect.
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@shycultmaster
“come back with a warrant”
i felt that. i shall start using that answer. it’s perfect.
Many young wizards have taken to transmuting swans into humans and marrying them. One day, you are lucky enough to find a swan in the wild, and without hesitating, you turn it into a beautiful lady. Unfortunately, that ‘swan’, was a goose. You have just given a goose a human form.
After I explained the mistake, she laughed uproariously.
“You’re damn lucky I’m not a swan!” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “They get by on their reputation for being pretty and graceful, but buddy, a swan ain’t nothing but a bigger, meaner goose. What do you all want swan wives for anyway?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. Honestly, I hadn’t actually stopped to think about that much. It had become a mark of status, having a demure, graceful woman following on your arm, always dressed in white and gazing soulfully about.
“They all seem very nice,” I said finally.
She pursed her lips thoughtfully as she finished pulling on the robes I’d brought with me. “Then there’s something else going on,” she said. “I’ve met my share of swans and not a one of them would put up with that shit. Are you sure they were swans to begin with?”
“Well, no, now that you mention it. I mean, everyone says that’s what they are, but I’ve never actually seen anyone else do it.”
“Do they talk? Act like humans? Do they seem intelligent?”
“Well, they are humans, so I suppose they must be, right?” This conversation was not going the way I had expected it to.
“Hah! Fat chance. Transmutation is just changing the shape of a thing. You turn a swan into a human and all you’ve done is put a swan mind in a human-shaped box. Wouldn’t do a wizard much good to be able to turn into a wolf or whatever if they suddenly only had a wolf’s brain to work with, would it?”
“So, you’re saying that if those women were swans originally, they’d still act like swans?”
“Hoo boy yeah,” she said. “Absolutely. Hissing, biting people, trying to build nests, shitting everywhere. The works.”
“Wait, but what about you?” I asked, desperately trying to get the conversation back on track. “You seem like a human, but you were a goose ten minutes ago.”
She grinned wickedly at me.
“I was shaped like a goose ten minutes ago,” she said. “And I appreciate the makeover. But I wasn’t a goose to begin with. Now come on. There’s something hella creepy going on around here, and we’re gonna figure out what.”
She started walking back up the path towards town.
“Wait!” I shouted, hurrying after her, “If you weren’t a goose, then what are you? And what’s your name?”
“You can call me Gwydd,” she said. “And as for what I am, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you some day. But first, you’re going to tell me everything you know about these swan ladies.”
The king has the ability to see team colors. Everyone who’s working towards the same goal as a group appears to be wearing the same color, regardless of what color their clothes actually are. This makes conspiring against him really, really hard.
Artist: 安于豢养的猫 weibo
I need to lose 5 pounds in 2 weeks to hit my gw before school starts.
Reblog to meet your goal weight by September!!
“I’m a year older than you, I will protect you!” The boy had a proud little smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
This body might be five but I’m thirty, you little shit. It’s what she wanted to say but instead, she blinked her large eyes at him and giggled. “Woah, you are almost a grown-up!”
In a superhero-supervillain story, you’re the hero’s love interest, and as such, in classic use-their-loved-ones-against-them fashion, the villain keeps kidnapping you as leverage against the hero. However, an unfortunate complication has arisen; having spent so much time with the villain, you begin to realize that you’re falling in love with them.
You live in a world where everyone with the same name dies in the same way. Your name is Julius.
The strongest warlock in all the land uses his power to constantly kidnap the princess. Most people believe it’s because he’s in love with her, but they have it all wrong. He’s in love with the knight who always comes to save her.
You start dating the personification of your deepest darkest fear. You somehow make the relationship work
How do you describe pain to someone who never felt it?
You’ve made a deal with a dark deity and have written them into the online writing community of your fandoms. Each time someone reads something where this deity is mentioned, they get possessed. And on top of it, this deity wants to marry you.
You, a broke young adult just out of college, take a dishwashing job at a strange restaurant owned and run by a family vaguely similar to the Addams Family. In spite of looking scary, however, you find that they’re extremely warm and welcoming to you, telling you constantly that you fit right in with this place, and the job pays well, so you don’t mind. But overtime, you discover that they’re a family of serial killer cannibals who share the meat of their victims (those who’ve wronged them/people they just generally don’t like) with their customers in the forms of pies and stews. You soon get an invite from the mother to have dinner. Once you’re there, they offer you their famous stew.
Inspired by the Bowie tune, all the worlds greatest villains take one day to do unconditional amazingly good things. Donating to charity, using their advanced technology to protect citizens, giving each homeless person a meal and money, you name it. Some do it to see how it feels, others want to use it to throw heroes off. Either ways, this baffles heroes, and each of them have a different way of taking it.