🔞kissing your dad as we speak🔞

24(MINORS DNI) 𖤐Reid𖤐 He/They🏳️‍⚧️ *-RDR2/COD/Ghost/Baldur's Gate III(and some memes and shit posts)-* BLM, LAND BACK, NO MORE STOLEN SISTERS, FREE PALESTINE AND THE DRC, TERFS FACISTS AND BIGOTS HAVE NO SEAT AT MY TABLE!

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

Went up to my parents to bring in a package and let the dog out while they're out of town, so to compensate myself I took a bunch of food from the pantry(not stealing if it's your parents house) and I came across a can of crab meat, and daddy wanted some can crab so I yoinked it because it's been in there forever no one will care if I take it....well....I underestimated how old this shit was.

2009????? WHICH MEANS IT WAS PROBABLY BOUGHT BETWEEN 2007-2008!!! I WAS LIKE 7 WHEN WE BOUGHT THIS, WE HAVE MOVED 4 TIMES WITH THIS CRAB, IT OUTLIVED BOTH OF MY CHILDHOOD DOG!!!! THIS IS PRE-OBAMA ADMINISTRATION CRAB!!!

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

Moments in no particular order I'm still laughing at while I was in emerg Friday night:

Nurse: No blood born pathogens I should know about? Not a zombie or a vampire?

My bf, while I'm fighting the urge to vomit: Is this date night? It's Friday night and we're out of the house.

3 nurses, 2 EMTs, and a ultrasound technician all struggling to get an IV in my notoriously impossible to find veins and stabbing me 11 times

Ultrasound tech after finally finding a vein with the ultrasound wand and showing the EMTs: See that little circle, that's the vein, I can make it move like a mouth *presses up and down on my arm repeatedly* wawawawa :D

Ultrasound tech after finally getting my IV in: It's probably in, we'll find out eventually.

Nurse: I'm gonna give you some painkillers now, have you ever had morphine?

Me, 6 hours in, dehydrated, delirious: Oh boy have I :D

Me: hey am I allowed to drink anything yet?

Nurse: No 😐

Me: Aww :(

Nurse: Just kidding do you want water, apple juice, or orange juice? :D

Nurse: So do we know what's wrong with you yet?

Me: No all my tests came back clear

Nurse: Ah, clearly it's too much awesomeness

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

House sitting for my parents, you know what means :D

Waiting for my mom to respond to a text a 9:30pm because she said I can eat whatever I want but does that include the shrimp in the freezer?

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

SHE SAID YES!!! IT'S SHRIMP TIME BABYYYYYY!!!!

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

House sitting for my parents, you know what means :D

Waiting for my mom to respond to a text a 9:30pm because she said I can eat whatever I want but does that include the shrimp in the freezer?

[wendi-g0]

😛Happy friday 💦

I ended up giving Copia’s version a full overhaul so i might as well just post them both. Enjoy, perverts✨ check the full post, wink

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

Me: Why do I feel like I'm gonna vomit and pass out?

*has not eaten today* *drank no water only a coffee and mountain dew* *went grocery shopping, which drained everything out of me* *had to drive around a bunch and driving a bunch after not driving for a month gives me mad anxiety -15hp/km* *came home, drank a beer, busted out some dishes* *has not turned on my ac all day despite it being 32⁰C at the hottest point today*

Me: If only I had the answers.

[danse-macabre-ballerina]

[zurin]

[wrathofrats]

Every day I wake up and go “I need to objectify aether more” and I hope you do too

[tokkibean]

nothing reveals typos better than the ao3 publish button. who needs spellcheck honestly

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

Copia whining pathetically and on the verge of tears while giving head send tweet.

[sunnycrisp]

ludovica and papa

[kaphzzz]

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

Earth ghouls with antlers. Earth ghouls who fight by locking their antlers as show of dominance within the pack. Earth ghouls who's antlers sometimes get a little too tangled and have a moment of clarity once they realized they can't get out of it on their own. Earth ghouls who have to commit the worst walk of shame as they awkwardly make their way back into the den or infirmary and have to swallow their pride while one of their pack mates untangles them.

[menlove-archive]

I've never played a more perfect card in the 10 years I've been playing this game

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

From now our merge is eternal. Can't you see that you're lost without me?

Dante and Virgil In Hell (William-Adolphe Bouguereau, 1850) but the Trickster is Martelli and the Heretic is Cass

Original image, and a few thoughts, under cut

This was such a fun project I've been working on the last week to practice anatomy and shading, I am beyond proud of how this one came out :')

For some context, the original painting is a scene from Divine Comedy, a set of narrative poems's by Dante Alighieri where he is brought through heaven, purgatory, and Hell by his guide Virgil. This specific scene depicts two souls in Hell locked in an eternal battle, the trickster and the heretic. So it felt like a no brainer to redraw this as Cass and Martelli. Martelli portraying the trickster, and man who used fraud to claim another mans inheritance, something that just felt very in character for a man like Martelli. And Cass portraying the heretic, given the Satanic elements surrounding Cass's character, this all felt too fitting for these two loosers who became so interwoven with one another out of hate and manipulation. Even in death, these two will be at eachothers throats until the end of time.

[siamoconclavisiamocondio]

How my day has gone:

Walk to pharmacy, get $27 pregnancy test instead of the dollar store one because sure the dollar store ones always worked but I wanna be extra sure

Walk home, take test

Test comes back negative, awesome

2 hours later, look in garbage can and see positive line

Proceed to almost vomit and call older sister in a panic

Older sister, who is pregnant with baby #3 and has been through this plenty of times before: don't use the blue dye test, go to the dollar store and get pink dye test.

Walks to dollar store literally hyperventilating the entire way

Gets pink dye test for $1.50

Walks home and pisses in a cup for the second time today

5 minutes later, the darkest negative line I have ever seen.

Celebrate like I was on Maury and just heard "you are NOT the father!"