QUEERPLATONIC POLYCULE ERA

Jo, she/her If you followed me for something in particular I’m so sorry it’s a mess here

[nick-catsidy]

a promise is a promise, url change time!

pascal-wehrlein -> nick-catsidy

[artist-refs]

OK, that settles it. This is some kind of scam. Maybe it's trying to hack people's accounts, I don't know.

PSA: if you get a mention like this, report it.

[important-animal-images]

[d-d-zero]

[scribefindegil]

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

[tainbocuailnge]

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

[tainbocuailnge]

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

[nudityandnerdery]

This seems like a good post to include this link on:

Your Cookware Got Worse On Purpose

One buyout firm quietly collected Pyrex, Corelle, Instant Pot, and Oneida. Farberware is a name on a 200-year lease. And the pans still wort

Talking about popular kitchenware companies undergoing enshittification, and gives you a list of brands towards the end that are more reliable.

[tumblerculosis]

I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now

[coffeedcait]

Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.

Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.

Frog: turns around and eats the bug.

Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.

[katebeckets]

"it's a tv show" "it's not real" i don't care. NO SHOES ON THE BED

[katebeckets]

okay if this breaks containment I think my asian grandparents would be proud of this post being my legacy. but for their sake i must clarify my personal stance. NO SHOES IN THE HOUSE AT ALL

[doomtemparts]

one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

[beemovieerotica]

ok this is sick as fuck

[fallingtowers]

"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one

[hiveswap]

Doomsday sounds astronomically fucking bad btw

[hiveswap]

Oh how i wish it was january 6th of [reconsiders this sentence] no i dont actually

[kiskeronation]

i don't go here but january 6th is my birthday did something else happen on that day?

[awihog]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/January_6_United_States_Capitol_attack

[hiveswap]

https://dreamteam.fandom.com/wiki/Doomsday_War

[rohirric-hunter]

Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.

[edgar-allan-possum]

Why is that?

[rohirric-hunter]

Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that they’re leaving the alarm key in the alarm because it’s always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.

The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guard’s voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.

The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically can’t make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.

The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, “Anal use only”. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. There’s no way around it, they’re going to catch you. And you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’ve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say “Anal use only” and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.

The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know there’s no way in hell that would work.

The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.

The Team attempts to break into the high security room but can’t because it’s randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.

The Team steals a keycard with “””””unlimited””””” access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.

The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, “We are here to rob you”. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.

[lew-basnight]

The Team abandons their high-tech high-concept plans and pull up to the front door in a battered van. Wearing blue jumpsuits or work clothes, they trudge into the lobby carrying bundles of cable and tools, and in a show of class solidarity the security guard just unlocks everything.

[adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction]

A story I once heard from a guy who specialised in security testing for IT. They had been hired to test out the security of the company, and one of the things they were testing was whether they could physically get secure data out of the building.

The guy walked in with a trolley with a wobbly wheel, loaded half a dozen computers onto the trolley so that they were unstable, and walked up to the main security door. At which point, the trolley wobbled and there was an avalanche of computers. The security guard helped him load the computers back onto the trolley and then held the door open for him as he walked out with six computers loaded with company secrets.

[caesarsaladinn]

romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering

[caesarsaladinn]

finding the strength to walk home from the library at 3am in the freezing rain by imagining yourself as a Napoleonic soldier hightailing it from Moscow in 1813

[queer-as-city-folk]

all of those are brown

[kt--extinction]

here is the picture from the Año Nuevo State Park instagram, the colour is suspected to be from rolling in red algae

[queer-as-city-folk]

That one is porple

[thoodleoo]

big fan of this cypriot terracotta fish askos

[xanaxfarts]

A tiny insect clinging to the head of a horned viper

[nattousan]

#ratatouille

[herssian]

i stopped you from leaving with the others because i need to have a quick chat with you. please stop telling people the character you're writing is going to be a hit because, and i quote, "he has big boobs. honkers never before found on a scale. sir badonkers d'breastenson". not only does it undermine your writing skills, your integrity as a narrative lead and a professional, but also scaring the others. but now that i have you here. how big are we talking