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@sick1ada
Who else getting paid 18 an hour to write self insert Harry Potter fanfiction
last year in like september after i had met my boyfriend and had a big fat crush on him i would write about it here, stuff like venting about how i was nervous to work with him or how excited i was to find out he liked me back. anyways just another update before college cause why not :)) we are still together! been together for like ten months or so! and here is some art i made of us in his room <3
Finally time for this to see the light day!! only been two years since i drew that shit
i totally should take better photos of these but itâs ok!!! Just wanna finally post them so ya mgmt at Coachella and also the Glastonbury festival in 2008!! plus refs :3
More mgmt art from my sketchbook + some of the references this time and also a random trigonometric proof xx
Some of these are referenced from low quality ass pics from high school and early college!! Thatâs why theyâre kinda bad yeah for sure thatâs the reason
I was talking to my sister this morning before I looked at my Spotify wrapped and I was like itâs gonna be funny if more than one of the songs on my top 5 are mgmt like imagine if all 5 are mgmt haha but thatâs not gonna happen I definitely listened to other songs like thereâs no way itâs gonna be all mgmt. ITâS ALL MGMT!!!! What I like about Spotify wrapped is that itâs like a receipt for my mental illness like yes finally here is the evidence that this shit took over my life
Love mgmt tho <333333 but oml I really thought thereâd be more variety my wrapped is just completely mgmt
More mgmt art lalala
The drawings on the first page are referenced from images of the band performing at the KROQ Weenie Roast (bahah) in 2008 in Irvine California, and the drawings on the second page are just referenced from two specific avwg fits from various occasions I thought would be fun to draw!!
I just got back from New York earlier today and have a few things to talk about following up of previous things Iâve discussed so Iâm just gonna chat for a little before I go to bed! NEW YORK WAS VERY FUN!! I had a great time obviously, like usual. Thereâs something just so festive about just getting to eat dinner with and talk to adults in fancy restaurants, that was one thing I liked. Also visiting college was cray-cray, I visited Wesleyan which was like the main thing I was excited about for this trip/the reason I planned and organized. It was like a last hurrah in terms of me humoring the idea of attending, at the end of the day, KU is the most reasonable option for me and has what I need. Wouldâve been fun to go somewhere artsy where I would end up in New York tho âŠ. yknow who knows where Iâll end up some day, itâs not like Iâll be tied to Lawrence or anything. To be totally honest, even tho I was excited about it cause of videos like mgmt performing this must be the place at Wesleyan, and cause of all the interviews Iâve read where they talked about the school, I donât feel let down that I wonât be going there. It just felt too small, and wasnât kicking with the kinda energy I thought it might be in my head yknow? Which is a good thing, so Iâm not tempted to go there, but the place just is quite estranged. Iâm sure there is cool stuff going on there, but itâs not a tourist attraction per say. We also walked around Yale and HOLYYY damn I didnât even know places could like that, the fall leaves were beautiful and the buildings were amazing, such a great Harry Potter academic fall vibe going on. Also Iâve been thinking about Diego a lot lately. I mean since September, august even, but October heâs just been on my mind so much. Weâve gone on a couple dates but we arenât formally dating or anything, even tho the other day this guy asked Diego âyou with your girl?â and he said âmaybeeeâ and we giggled :))))) I WANNA BE HIS GIRL OR SOMETHINF!!!!! Sorry for being cringey and stuff I just like him a lot. We havenât even kissed or anything even though Iâve liked layed against him and heâs had his arm like around me. Ahhh thereâs just like that tension and anticipation thatâs so fun but also stressful. I thought he was just nervous cause I was kinda the one initiating stuff, but today my sister let me know apparently he hasnât so much cause he knows itâs my first relationship and he doesnât want to scare me off, which is sweet. Soooo Iâm just waiting, and itâs easy to be doubtful cause Iâve been very non-concrete when talking about our relationship or whatever, but I do think that one of these days heâs gonna be my first kiss and all that and I just like him a lot and itâs a weird feeling. I never have crushes very often or anything, like I wouldnât even say I had a definite crush since like 7th grade or something??????? Which is fucking insane, and yeah there have been people Iâve been like âinterested inâ but not like real adoration like a crush or anything, so to be liking Diego so much and have him like me to just has been kinda surreal. It has me in like awe yknow, the feeling of butterflies but along with the knowledge that he feels the same. Itâs so corny ik especially for being a senior in high school and stuff, but Iâm just excited and whatever. God. He bought me tea cause I told him I had been sick and he brought me back a pocket knife from California with my name on it :). And Iâve been carving beads for a bracelet for his birthday since like September technically if Iâm being honest. I work with him tomorrow and I hope we can do something after work!! The future is beautiful yknow?? Lovely things are to come?? And I like him so much?
So Iâm excited because I think at some point I will know, things will be concrete, weâll be datingđ€ and all, but right now everything is tentative like this little kiddish mystery crush thing. itâs fun to not know, to be scared to reach out to him. Whatever right now is or means, I like it and itâs sweet and I want to appreciate it :)
He played this song on the way to the dance when we were driving out of downtown kc and the lights were so pretty and I felt so excited and tingly just to be sitting next to him, which has been an enduring feeling lol
Hoco last night with Diego :)))))))))
dreams coming true or some shit I guess đđđ€§ this is so corny but Iâm just excited gaaah
MY SISTER JUST CALLED ME AT WORK AND TOLD ME THAT DIEGO LIKES ME BACK!!!!!! Bro this is fucking crazy cause literally like a week ago I was losing my shit about this. And yesterday night I told my parents I was going to Emmaâs house but actually we all went to Lukeâs house and Diego and some stonery people I didnât know were there and I didnât really get to talk to Diego he just talked the the stoner people while I talked to my friends and Luke so I was worried I was too dorky for him or something or he just wouldnât go for me. But Kate hung out with Maggie (who is close with Diego) today and apparently told her I like Diego (bitch) and Maggie said Diego said he thinks heâs like developing a crush on me or has been since we talked at that party which is like exactly how Iâve felt. Man I was just talking to my friend Cecilia like yesterday about how I wished I could take him to Homecoming. And Iâm not saying thatâs necessarily going to happen, I have no fucking clue where this is gonna go, but Iâm just really happy. Like just walking around the ice cream store smiling. Goooooood that shit is crazy. Iâm just so excited
Iâm just kinda freaking out in the car cause Iâm excited about a bunch of things so Iâm gonna get it out of my system by writing about it or else Iâll probably puke or something. The major incitement of this physically taxing feeling of anticipation is the fact that this guy I kinda like called Diego just started working at the same ice cream store I do and Iâm working with him on Wednesday. Iâve known of him for a while because my friend Emmaâs boyfriend Luke (not Luke from camp) is friends with him and some of my work friends are also part of that friend group, but I went to a party at one of my coworkers houses a few weeks ago and I talked with him for the first time while I was there and it was nice. And heâs just so cute like uggggh Iâm just anxious and butterflies or whatever. So thatâs very much on my mind and right now Iâm listening to a lot of loud good music to cope and channel this excitement into something happy so that it doesnât get too close to just straight up painful anxiousnessđ€. Also Iâm on like a 4 hour car trip right now after camping for 2 nights in a row and Iâm driving for another 7 hours tomorrow so Iâm just in a slightly weird mind space. Also, more stuff Iâm excited about is just plans for the next couple months with my friends. Last fall was super fucking fun and we did a lot of great stuff and also went to more parties than I was used to and part of the general fun-ness was because Luke who I mentioned tagged along with my friends for a lot of it and that dynamic is just good, so Iâm hoping maybe we can pull Diego into some stuff this fall maybe since he and Luke are close?? Idk I gotta stop talking about Diego or imma be sick but fall will be fun either way cause homecoming is coming up, weâre going to the Ren fest soon, pumpkin patches, Halloween costumes, scary movies, great weather, Halloween parties ITS JUST GONNA BE GOOD!!! Also on an mgmt related note Iâm visiting New York with my family at the end of October and Iâm going to tour Wesleyan while Iâm there!!! Which is super great because New York is amazing and Iâve never been there in the fall so itâll be incredible regardless, but Wesleyan is also a big part of why Iâm excited. I had an excruciating phase in the spring where I actually lowkey really wanted to go to Wesleyan even tho I knew it was totally impractical and expensive, and luckily I donât really want to attend Wesleyan anymore, but touring will be nice closure like fully getting it out of my system. Like Iâm glad Iâm pretty set on going to KU, but thereâs obviously a part of me that wouldâve loved to go to an artsy school far from home and end up in New York, it was a fun idea to entertain at least. So yeah, late September and October are gonna be great and Iâm just at one of those points in my life where I have a lot of stuff to look forward to and thatâs great!1!!1! Iâm high on life baby!!!!đ€đ€đ€đ€ jk but njk. LETS GO!!!!!!!!!
I think Iâll just post some of my art here whenever I feel like it hooray (some of it sucks so sorry)
P.s. shoutout if you know any of the photos these are referenced fromđ«¶đ«¶
Rare MGMT contact sheets, Ben and Andrew photographed in 2008 by Ray Lego !
CAMP CONCLUSIONS: Engineering camp was so damn fun! Who wouldâve thought! Teenagers just like to party it up and pick up girls and guys and fuck with each other and fuck around with each other, even the supposed dorks. And listen, I donât believe the pursuit of popularity or looking cool are worth following, but being at engineering camp, I felt cool and competent and hot! Itâs just in settings like that, five day stuff where you canât just sit back and be solitary, you have to be out there and talking and starting conversations, where things run fast and exciting, even if itâs stressful. Itâs like we were higher up on the food chain, but it wasnât like Shawnee Mission East where being popular means being a rich white country club kid. I mean if it was Naga, Saranya, me, Jonny, Anirudh, Nik, Mortar, Tyrese, Hart, and Braxton, thatâs three Indian kids, two black kids, a wasian kid, and four white kids. Thereâs no point in counting it up, I donât know, but it was just so different from East, in a really fun and exciting way.
I HAD TEENAGER EXPERIENCES! I WAS A YOUNG DUMB AEROSPACE ENGINEERING SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD IN THE PRIME OF MY LIFE!!! I snuck out of my dorm and flirted with boys at engineering camp! The irony is palpable! The diversity of my experiences was glorious! I learned about supersonic aerodynamics! I caught sick touchdowns with the frat boys! I flew drones! I ran down hallways fleeing authority! I walked through wind tunnels! I flirted with French boys! I built airplanes!! I played never have I ever with virgins and potheads and surfers and dorks! Iâm just glad I did it, there were so many laughs and sweet moments that I never would have felt if I hadnât stepped out of my comfort zone. I proved to myself that I was totally capable of doing it, and doing it well, with some good luck on my side of course.
Now Iâm back home, I experienced summer camp withdrawal and I freaked out and cried and lost my shit a little because I guess thatâs what sneaking out at 2:45 and waking up at 6:50 does to you. Iâm sad because I donât want to take out the little braids that Iâve had in my hair all week, I donât want to take the bandaids off my heels either. And I hope that all the muscles in my legs just stay sore, I donât want the feeling to go away. Thereâs a pen I accidentally stole from Jonny sitting on my dresser. Itâs weird how I would sort of hear peopleâs voices and see their faces when I was trying to fall asleep at camp because I was so used to having them around me all the time. And I still can perfectly imagine Jonnyâs voice, and the freckles on his face and the one on his right ear, and his smile, and Nagaâs voice and his teeth and the annoyed faces he would make, and Saranyaâs smile and her voice when she said something soft, and Aniâs voice and his face when he said something clever or made people laugh, and Tyreseâs voice and his braces and smile, and the way Mortar would hold his eyebrows and mouth in that excited way when telling a story, and Nikâs smile and his scowl. I would be in bed at camp and wake myself up a little cause I could imagine the way all their voices said âAvaâ, Iâd hear it sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. I mean seriously these people were really just living in my mind. It was just a tight little community for a very small amount of time. How is it over? How is everyone back in their houses with their regular lives? Did they all really have some of the greatest days of their summersâ at camp this week? I mean I did, so I do believe the instagram captions lol. Itâs just so strange going back to my home where I pluck my eyebrows and watch Succession and have the time to listen to instagram reels and flip through my sketchbook. Itâs good of course, but such a change of pace. Itâs been a weird day, I really miss them. It feels so separated from my normal life, like the two canât coexist, which is probably why my already dysfunctional brain got fried seeing my parents inside the lecture hall. Iâm gonna stop being sad now I think. Itâs probably over dramatic and stuff, I just didnât think Iâd be so beat up over leaving. Forced proximity is wild huh, maybe it does that to you. Meeting people and saying bye to people. IM NOT USED TO HAVING TO SAY BYE TO PEOPLE!! I DONT STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE CAUSE I RARELY START BEING FRIENDS WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I dont know. Hopefully Iâm just sad because thereâs still something wrong with my brain, but itâs okay. Iâm just happy I decided to go to camp in the end.
ENGINEERING CAMP DAY 6: Today was the last day of camp, with the checkout time being around 2:30. I woke up at 6:50 and did not sleep excellently obviously since I probably fell asleep at like 4 and was woken up by light and stuff. So I got up and packed up my stuff and me and my roommate took our sheets downstairs and then I went to Mrs. Eâs. I was the first one there today probably because others were still packing up but Nik and Saranya and arrived and when Nik was gone Saranya asked me âisnât he fine?â to which I said I agreed and it was like obviously she wasnât going to make a move but she joked especially much with him today about her annoying him and him bullying her and she asked âare we like this?â (and did this-đ€ ) many times. I also talked with Nik about sneaking out and stuff and how I got caught a second time and that whole thing. Colin and then Jonny arrived and it was slightly silly at first but there was a shared sentiment that there wasnât really a real reason to be mad at Jonny, I said like âso is Naga mad because Jonny hung out with some girls?â and Nik and people were like agreeing that it was dumb. After breakfast we went outside to wait until it was time to go to our lecture and we met Jake and Tyrese and some people and eventually Naga arrived and Jonny and Naga were standing sort of near each other and Jonny was like smiling and I was smiling and made eye contact with him and finally he asked Naga if he was still mad or something and Naga said that it was fine but he just didnât want to talk to him (in a lighthearted way though, he wasnât thatserious). At lecture I really was crashing, so fucking tired even though the subject was interesting. Although at the end there was this like ridiculous video that was showing off airplane cockpits and had âtake my breath awayâ from topgun playing and it like restarted the song halfway through and ended with this weird stretched photo of a dog and some text and it seriously looked like a shitpost and people were laughing and I made eye contact with Jonny and we were laughing. After that it was time to finally start making the presentation thing that a couple people in our group were to present to the parents about our time at camp and Jonny wanted to present so he got Naga to join him and I just went on my phone until Naga called my name a couple minutes later and motioned me over to participate too. Once again, good reminder that just because you feel like youâre missing out doesnât mean youâre unwanted!! I appreciated that shit Naga! Also it was a confirmation that I am not grouped with Colin in their minds (sorry Colin). And Iâm glad I ended up participating too, it was fun to have another thing to do the three of us. So me, Naga, Jonny, Leonardo, and two pretty dorky kids (Linus and one other) each worked on slides, one slide each easy stuff. We were collecting photos and I offered up the one of Jonny being carried by Tyrese and they liked it but it didnât end up getting used since the slides was short. Also Leonardo (who is wasian) asked if me and Jonny were siblings?? To which we said no, and I mentioned that this was the second time someone had asked me if I was siblings with a wasian (I didnât word it like that) and Jonny asked if I was Asian and I was like no Iâm white. Itâs just weird because the only times Iâve ever been asked if someone was my sibling is today and also when Wes Lyerly asked me if me and this wasian kid Hudson were siblings in seventh grade lmao. Anyway, we got lunch which was pizza and sat in our usual spot, also Luke was texting me throughout the day which was nice of him but Iâm just not that into him cause the conversation was kinda awkward and he lives in Texas anyway and stuff and I just mehh. Lunch was very chill cause everyone was tired from the night before and we didnât talk as a group that much, especially while Hart and Seb and some people were there. I did get Starbucks with Saranya and Jonny, we all got these pink dragonfruit refreshers which Jonny had us take a photo and he posted to his insta story as a joke.
Nearer to the end of lunch when it was more just me, Saranya, Nik, Mortar, Ani, and maybe one or two others we got to talk and there was some shared sentiment especially between Nik and Naga that their social batteries were dead and they were ready to go home. Plus at one point Naga was talking about Saranya and her friend or like the Starbucks drinks or something and said âthatâs some white girl shitâ and then held up his hand and looked at me and said âno offense Avaâ which was funny. Also Jonny was missing during this time for like an hour or so, and also at one point I went to the bathroom and when I got back they were still talking and when I stepped over legs to sit on the ground Naga said something like âhereâs Jonnyâs girlâ?? and I was like âwhaaaatâ and one or two other people kinda did that too and I just sat down and Saranya was joking like âpersonally, I wouldnât take that.â or whatever. While I donât actually want people to think Iâm Jonnyâs girl and I try to not being following him around all the time or anything, I do not mind Naga saying it lol. Then when we were standing waiting to go back up and I was next to Naga he asked if my parents were coming to watch the presentations but he said it really quietly and I didnât really hear and said that I didnât know where Jonny was because I assumed that was what he was asking and it was just embarrassing for me but it was kinda funny, Naga just had his classic like âbro reallyâ face on. Then we went upstairs and there were already adults up there and I saw Jonnyâs family and stuff and then we all sat down and in a line it was Colin, Jonny, Naga, me (also sienna beside me). Then our teacher guy spoke to the parents and soon it was time to present and we all went up. Jonny went first and did a good job and like introduced himself so the rest of us did that too and I was awkward and Naga was too but it like set a tone of smiling and eye contact and silliness. Jonny was a very good public speaker and said some very informative stuff, then went Leonardo and he talked about the Jesus nut and helicopter shaft which made me and Jonny and others smile and almost laugh a lot, then I was up and mine was short but sounded good and confident I think. Then was Linus and this bitch went off the rails like talking about how he didnât learn anything on Wednesday and the fire alarm went off so that was cool and the whole time us and audience were sort of just muffling laughter and I was like looking at Jonny and we were just like wtf. Then the next kid went and last Naga (who surprisingly was not a public speaking guy at all) and then it ended and people clapped. And that was pretty much it, people got up, went to families, so I went to my Dad and stepmom Katie and they hugged me and said they were proud which was nice. Katie used the restroom and I got to talk to Naga for a sec before he went off and me and my dad and Katie started heading towards the dorms to get my luggage.
V V V (Tyrese, Jonny, Nik, Ani messing around during lunch, Starbucks with Jonny and Saranya, an aerospace group photo)
V V V Leonardo addresses the Jesus nut, Linus goes off (watch our faces)
While walking at this point it was setting in that there wasnât going to be another opportunity to just talk with my friends or even say goodbye to them, plus I was hopped up on public speaking adrenaline while running on three hours of sleep and I was kind of mildly freaking out. Just like anxious and distracted and lightheaded and so fucking bad at speaking like it was unreal. I was completely like fried mentally and wasnât doing wonderfully physically either. I also had a social interaction with Sam Lewis so excruciatingly bad that it was mandatory that I let my parents know I was running on 3 hours of sleep, and my dad asked if that was because of social reasons or insomnia reasons, I said social, which he sort of like congratulated me on. When we went to the lobby and checked out I did get to say a more proper goodbye to Naga cause he was by the door, but then I just left. For the next like hour I would get a lump in my throat every like two minutes and I just wanted to cry. The lack of sleep was 100% a reason for this but I was still also just genuinely overwhelmed by the fact that I never again was going to see the friends I had eaten lunch with just like an hour ago. It was just like a full complete stop on the little life I had inside of camp with no goodbyes really. I was worried I would cry in front of my parents but I didnât end up doing so, instead I spent the car trip working through my KU early application with Katie and trying to avoid thinking about my friends and how they were just like not a part of my life anymore. Leaving was just like a social-mental 180 that made me emotional, even if I was fueled by sleep deprivation. I got to my moms house where no one was home and unpacked and I finally just kind of started crying like I knew I needed to. I was in the shower and I would just think about all this stuff about Jonny and Naga and Tyreseâs smile and Aniâs smile and voice and how Iâd never see them again and stuff like that. Honestly I donât think Iâve cried fully like that since like middle school, probably even earlier than then since I didnât have to worry about being quiet. So yeah. Not to be a downer or anything, I was just tired and sad about my friends. IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT HAPPY STUFF AFTER THIS I PROMISE
(Also after showering I got a text from Saranya and a dm from Tyrese saying like sorry I didnât get to say bye and stuff, which I responded to both, and I dmed Jonny saying bye which he responded to, and that helped a lot with closure.)
ENGINEERING CAMP DAY 5 PT 2: So when I snuck down the stairs around 11 Saranya, two of her friends, Anirudh, Nik, Mortar, Naga, Hart, Tyrese, and Braxton were at commons and Tyrese said I scared him. Not gonna lie the first while was a lot of Snapchat shit talk. I just sat and looked over Anirudhâs shoulder and listened and it was annoying at times. Naga and co. were still mad at Jonny for hanging out with girls or ditching them or whatever and were messaging dumb insults, then sort of moved on to Jaylean (especially harsh criticisms) and then this random kid Nick. At one point Naga like laughed and said âAvaâs so quietâ or something (mainly just to me) and I told him that I just didnât really care about talking shit. He jokingly said youre a better person than the rest of us but it was chill. To me the gossip stuff was evidence that bullying and being like cruel and vindictive over social media really is baseless, like there was no real beef with anyone, just kids saying bad things for the sake of it. Also there were times when we heard noises and people got scared but not as much as when Jennifer came down the elevator. She was totally chill though as expected, through the night there were two other counselors who were also chill. But after she left a fucking policeman came out the elevator and walked through the room and asked if any of us were the ones who called the cops and we said no, then he just walked out the door and outside, that was crazy scary. A couple other kids came down, then at one point we all snuck up the stairs cause Jennifer told us we should knock on this chill counselors door to scare them and as like all 12 of us were going I saw people above and we all ran downstairs and through the hall and to the couch. It turned out to just be a chill prep kid who was kind of wondering why people were arguing and the hot fĂștbol kid, who ended up being named Sebastian. Also he is actually French, I know I described him as Latino but I more meant like Spanish, Iâm not going to change my past descriptions, but Iâm sorry. Anyway, he sat down next to me and I got to talk to him some. Around 12 or 12:15 we got Mario Kart running again (people had played like 30 min ago) because he was rly nice about helping me fix it and it went between me and him playing, him and Tyrese, and me and Tyrese, so I was sitting between the two of them. I did poorlyđ«°. By this time people were more chill but the counselors told us that the police were called because someone had heard a girl scream outside?? Idk it was strange but led to many jokes about the source/reason for the screaming. I learned that Sebastian (he went by Seb, also his accent was very cute) had grown up in France and lived in the US for like four years now, and that he goes to St James academy. We talked about some stuff like how he had ran through plants with burrs (he didnât know the word in English lol) and he had to shave his legs to get them off lol so his legs had some cuts on them. He also asked for my Snapchat and I had to go through the whole yes Iâm allowed to have mehh I just donât really want it thing which he was cool about. The actual convo wasnât super flirty per say, but he had his arm over the couch by my head, and contextually and visually it was flirting fore sure. For the next hour it was just more sitting and mild chatting or standing and talking about police stuff. By 2:15 people were sort of considering leaving and Seb lowkey asked me if I wanted to go on a walk?? And everyone was kinda getting up and if I wanted to I probably couldâve just gone to the staircase with him then but I just kinda lingered and stayed between him and the others instead cause I was scared lol. So I donât know thatâs something to think about. At like 2:20 fucking Choncey (a camp counselor) or whatever his fucking name is walked in and told us all to go to our rooms and Hart or someone said we had permission and then Choncey was like no you donât. So we cleaned up trash and timidly walked back to the stairs and people were already talking about coming back later.
So I went to my room and stayed for like ten minutes before I got a groupme message from Hart saying they were going to meet on level 0 at 2:45. So I thought about it and stressed a bit before leaving very slowly and going to the staircase, where I heard other students coming down the stairs so I stopped and then it turned out to be Tyrese (who I accidentally scared again), Naga, and Seb. When I saw Tyrese I said something about worrying about Choncey catching us again and then when I was next to Naga and Seb I said like the same thing about being worried. So sure enough we got to the bottom floor and within like ten seconds of being there, all the way down the hall I see fucking Choncey roaming and I turn and run. The three of us got back in the stairs and Naga kind of stopped but I just told him and Seb that I was going to bed and goodnight. So I ran back to the third floor, through the fucking hall, and heard an elevator noise when I was unlocking my door and was freaking out. Jeeeeez thatâs as much of an adrenaline rush as Iâve ever really bargained for. Iâm just laying in bed now at 3:04 with my alarm set for 6:50 tomorrow and my white noise all the way up. Ggbgbgn I hope there arenât any repercussions tomorrow. All things considered, Iâm not that worried about it. If they tell my parents, itâs not like I was actually getting up to any bad shit, and I had fun, I donât regret it, not even going back down a second time all that much. Teenager experiences or whatever. I hope that in the morning Jonny can still eat breakfast with us normally and I can say bye to everyone and Seb and Luke and we can all be happy and peaceful. Goodnight
V V V the policeman outside after he came through
(Also I hadnât realized who he was at the time but Seb had followed me on insta like the day before so he mustâve known who I was before I knew who he was)
ENGINEERING DAY 5 (PART 1:)
Iâm already forgetting stuff but this morning my alarm didnât go off so I was a little late to breakfast but it was fine. At breakfast it was me, Saranya, Jonny, Nik, Colin, basically like a semi-small group and no Naga and Saranya asked something and there was a shared sentiment that people were partying too much lol, since Jonny hadnât tried to sneak to that room last night, and Nik and Naga were annoyed cause they got like sort of caught, so that was kinda comforting. So breakfast was decent and then we walked to lecture, the walk was nice cause I got to talk to Jonny and Naga a bit about like car stuff and I told them the story about getting pulled over on the Fourth of July and the story about accidentally having my brights on and the guy who yelled at us. Lecture was kinda boring, it ended at 11:30 like usual and then we went to lunch in the spot we always sit at, Me, Jonny, Naga, Saranya, her friend, Nik, Key, Mortar, Colin, Jake, also Tyrese and then Braxton at one point. Lunch was nice and had some good laughs, probably the funniest one yet, itâs so great when the whole group laughs at something witty. I also got to ask Braxton if his name was Braxton and what grade he was in (senior) and he asked my name too. Eventually it disbanded a bit but there was stuff like Tyrese doing a push-up with Jonny standing on his back, I was kinda quiet at parts but it was still generally good. After lunch we went upstairs to fly drones but I only got to for a bit before Tyrese borrowed mine which I was good with but when I went to retrieve it I got like pulled into this group with Sienna and Jaylean and had to go to this satellite lab (not interesting, actually hot and tiny and boring) and then we looked at this jet engine and Jaylean was kinda annoying braggy about GPA and getting her pilots license and stuff. Also they both just have kind of unbearable voices, Jaylean Oklahoma country accent, Sienna rural Missouri. Just not ideal but after we got back there was this kahoot thing where I was on a team with those two and Jennifer (RA or camp counselor) helped us cheat which actually made me feel miserable ethically so I just sat on the table with my team and spun my pencil. At one point Leonardo who was sitting by me asked to borrow it and showed me how he could spin it and I said âyeah I can spin it but I canât get it to go around my thumb it just spins on top of my nailâ or something to that affect and then he gave it back and I demonstrated and then did my other better spin thing and he sighed in a joking way like oh that was more impressive (sorry I canât word it in a non cringe way). Also Sienna showed me this group chat where someone had asked âCan I get Avaâs Snapchat/phone number?â so I gave Sienna my number to type but she didnât know who it was, so for the rest of the time I was asking kinda feeling like anxious but excited about that. My group won and the three best prizes were three remote control helicopters but I felt guilty so I said I wouldnât take one since I didnât contribute, mostly talking to like Jonny and Naga, but the whole situation ended up good and fine. On the way I back I talked with Jonny, Jaylean, and Sienna and apparently Siennaâs parents own like 24 horses and she was talking about her whole life plan and I just couldnât take it.
Anyway when we got to Mrs. Eâs it was me, Jonny, Sienna, Jaylean, Colin, then later Jake, Mortar and Saranya too, but before they got there someone was like calling Sienna about me getting that phone number sort of and had it on speaker and it wasnât clear without the context that I had seen on Siennas phone so I donât think Johnny knew what was happening but on the phone the girl was saying like âyeah I gave her the number but sheâs right hereâ and stuff before putting it not on speaker and then she and Jaylean kind of went back and forth between our table and not our table and I asked who and thought she said a âKim boyâ had asked for my number and I even asked Jonny if he knew a Kim brother and he didnât know who she meant. There was just an atmosphere of confusion at the table basically. After dinner we went back to the dorm and on the third floor commons again, where like previous days, it started out just like me and a couple guys (no Naga or Jonny) and then preps came. Also at this point I got a text from Luke which was nice so I kinda figured he was the one who asked for my number and I texted a little with him during. Then it got to be less again and it was kind of lame for all parties involved. On the couch me and Saranya and her dorky friend (I mean no offense) and the hot fĂștbol kid (he even has like the Ronaldo accent) and Hart were playing a question game (insanely dumb quintet) it was just silly cause Hart or the other guy would ask like âhave you ever stolen from a storeâ (hart is a big stealer unsurprisingly) or âwhat age did you get your first kissâ (I kind of lied and said 14) and then Saranya or her friend would ask âwhatâs your favorite foodâ. I asked good questions but it was just a ridiculous situation and I couldnât believe how long it lasted. Eventually Saranya and her friend left and then soon it was just me and Hart on the couch and then Luke came in, Sienna and Jaylean were on chairs by the couch with several others so they mustâve told him my location, and he sat down and we started chatting, and Jonny was still in the room too. It was nice but kinda stiff too like really normie convo shit and also a couple times Hart kicked my foot and I looked over at him and made eye contact and he was kinda smiling and then I went back to talking to Luke, Hart then left like five or ten minutes later. Also at one point I watched Jonny get like dragged into the elevator on a chair. Luke and I talked for like half an hour and it was still silly since Jaylean and Sienna and many others were in the room and it was decent. I like just liked looking at his face and having him so sincerely listen to me but I was sort of just spitting boring nonsense. Then at like 7:30 I paused talking because Naga ran in chasing Jonny telling him to get downstairs and then said âAva youâre coming tooâ or something but it wasnât extremely audible and I donât know if Luke heard. Then Tyrese fully picked up Jonny like over his shoulders and brought him to the elevator and Naga told me to come to and so I apologized to Luke and told him that Iâd be back or text him or something and then went to the elevator. Downstairs were like Nik and Mortar and Hart and maybe others or maybe they hadnât arrived yet and when I got downstairs the first thing said to me was Hart telling me he had been trying to get my attention to flash that hand symbol that is your third and fourth finger crossed (as in like youâre tight with someone yknow, like each finger is a person), and he told me I had been rizzing that guy up. This was quite funny to me but I just told Hart that the guy what chill or whatever and that I had talked to him on the first day of camp. I also texted Luke an apology and said Iâd visit. There was music playing from Harts speaker extremely loud and Jonny was not downstairs for long before he went back up which annoyed Naga specifically, and throughout the earlier evening Naga really was like irritated with him cause he was like trying to be with Jaylean and Sienna and people. There was some more never have I ever and chat and stuff.
Then at 8:30 Jennifer (camp counselor) came down, and we had already been talking about trying to sneak out to floor zero that night, and at one point maybe it was Hart that brought up sneaking out to her? Which I was worried about at first but Jennifer was kind of just like itâs the last day of camp, if you are in your rooms for rooms checks and come down quietly and turn off the lights at 11, itâs fine. Basically since we werenât sneaking out to have sex or shit, we just wanted to talk in the commons, she didnât care. So we talked with her for a little and stuff. Then a bit later people were still trying to communicate with Jonny cause he was missing but assumedly with girls somewhere and finally we all decided to go upstairs and like run past the room and raid it. The elevator was rly crowded and it was fun and then we went up to where Jonny was and people like got out of the room and Naga was kind of confronting Jonny who was just like messing around and stuff. At this point it was like 9:20 or something so basically I just stayed up stairs where people were still in the hallway, said hi to Luke, and then went to my room, to wait until 11 to sneak out and meet everyone!! The remainder of this night will be detailed in my following post!!
(I listened to the Time to Pretend EP while I waited to hype myself up :))
V V V Hart and Tyrese on the couch on the third floor (my knee is on the right), Tyrese carrying Jonny, Braxton and Jennifer
V V V Jonny loses arm wrestling with Tyrese during lunch