ENGINEERING CAMP DAY 4: Ahhhh today was a mixed bag. I’m still having fun and stuff but tonight I’ve def been thinking more about how nice it’ll be to go home and be back in an enjoyable and consistent social environment that doesn’t revolve around guys and their decisions. Also tomorrow is the last full day, which is kinda crazy, so it’s not like I’ll be here all that much longer. I swear at night when I close my eyes and try to sleep I can just see Jonny and Naga’s faces’ and voices’ and that shit has me stressing. Anywayz, this morning when I got to lunch I didn’t see Saranya so I sat down at a table where Nik was alone and sat in the same place I had for dinner the day before, same as him. Others eventually arrived and it was fine and similar to other breakfasts, I genuinely cannot remember much at all. We did this thing where we visited areas with information about other engineering majors today so that was kinda mid. First was this computer science thing which was fine, then we saw this race car where the driver/informant was cool and hot and had his race car suit on and this blondish frizzy hair pulled back in a ponytail, but the actual thing was boring and the race car wasn’t working. Then we visited a concrete testing facility #interesting and then went back to get lunch. It was probably my favorite lunch so far, we ate at the place with a table in the middle and chairs around, me, Saranya, Anirudh, Jonny, Naga, Colin, Jake, Nik, Key (who didn’t participate) and Mortar and we played BS which was fun and then we played truth or truth which ended up getting quite personal and more meaningful than other conversations lol. Jake talked about how he had gotten like two bad concussions in the last six months and how that affected his school year and he still has to go to bed early and gets headaches and stuff, Naga asked the question “who has been to therapy” to which he, Nik (surprisingly), and Saranya had, Nik for depression, Saranya for anxiety, Naga for I don’t know but he said it had helped him. We also talked about friend stuff and Naga and Nik talked about losing friends over Covid and stuff. There was also relationship stuff after a question about what your greatest regret in a relationship was, to which Nik said “being a piece of shit” and Jake and Naga agreed, wholesome self-aware man moment 🫶. At 1 or something idek lunch ended and we then went to this chemistry place which wasn’t ideal and then biochemistry where we made bouncy balls and I sat next to Jonny and Tyrese and got to hand Jonny my wooden stick so he could use them as drums (I also did this at lunch with silverware on Tuesday) and Tyrese was nice and helped me make my bouncy ball and let my use his clean paper. Then we went to the KU store which was pretty not ideal because I was feeling uninvolved because tagging along with boys clothing shopping just doesn’t work and I didn’t really know Jaylean or Sienna (girls woah). Also Tyrese and Hart were hanging out more with Naga and Jonny which is fine but the more guys are in a group, the weirder it becomes that I’m also there. Also Hart is kind of an ass and I don’t know why he’s in engineering camp. We walked home and I did eventually get to talk to Sienna and Jaylean a little which was good and also Jonny asked me if I bought anything when we were walking next to each other and I got to talk to him a little. It isn’t his fault in the slightest but it is just easy to feel like he has no real interest in being near me so it was a nice reminder that he was actually like my friend🫰.
When we got home at 5 we decided not to get Mrs E’s, instead Naga ordering Indian which we had talked about at lunch. At dorms I freshened up then went to the third floor commons where a group was starting to form, originally just like my breakfast/lunch kinda group (ideal) trying to figure out our food orders for Naga and Venmo him, but more people started to arrive. Tyrese sat in the space between me and Colin which there wasn’t totally enough room for (we were thigh to thigh and I was pressed against the side of the couch a little) but I liked it because Tyrese is nice and I got to say a couple things to him. It just made me feel more confident being so close to him since he’s cool and soon I was in the presence of people I didn’t really know. As we went on more preppier people kept arriving which was annoying in some ways because when these two girls came and sat down they looked very out of place and awkward but then more of their friends and guys kept arriving until it seemed more a prep environment than my group’s environment. Also when I say “fratty” I mean the guys who are athletic and uninterested in girls and look like they could already be in college, and when I say “popular” or “cliquey” I mean the kids who are younger like going into junior year and are just your run of the mill preppy privileged white kids. I still generally enjoyed this time and I finally got the talk about Dogtown and Z-Boys to Hart which I had wanted to do, since he had brought up California again, this was while I was next to Tyrese and he was behind the couch next to one of the fratty guys I had played football with. So I said his name and then something like “since you’re from California do you know about Dogtown and the zephyr skate team and stuff?” since I already had overheard that he liked skating on Tuesday and I knew he’d know at least a little. He didn’t understand the first time but I very briefly said yknow the stuff from the seventies about how skating culture was created in this town in California, I watched a documentary, Dogtown and Z-boys, like yknow Tony Alva and Stacey Peralta, to which we responded that he knew and stuff and he said he wasn’t very good at skating but it was fun or something and I said how I didn’t know anything about skating either but it seems cool. This was a good interaction and Hart was nice even though I think he’s not a great person in most contexts, but I think he was friendly because I’m a year older than him and stuff and because I was talking about something he’s interested in. I was glad I said this tho, cause I ended up being in a group I didn’t love later that included him so at least I could feel like he knew me a bit better. Eventually we left to go to the lobby and get the Indian food, where I saw Luke playing ping pong and got to smile at him and he smiled back. Then we brought the food upstairs to a little room on the third floor which was a lot of fun. Braxton (senior with glasses and locs and the vibes of a basset hound who had been sending porn to this camp Snapchat group) and Hart were a little later, but eventually clockwise from the window side of the room at the head of the table the group was Tyrese, me, Jonny, Colin, Nik, Naga, Mortar, Braxton, Saranya, Anirudh, and Hart (standing) which was one of my favorite combinations of people. It was just like the dorkier people meant Hart was nice, and the more popular people meant the dorkier people were more fun. Also there was a lack of chairs which me and Jonny had already acknowledged and when we were starting to eat I tried to give the chair to Jonny but he asked if we could share it so we both just sat on the damn chair and it was nice. Also at one point Hart asked (not loud, he was just near me) if everyone had Snapchat and I said I didn’t and he said “you’re not allowed to get it?” to which I said no and then he said “You don’t want it?” to which I just kinda shrugged and said mehh and he said that was valid. It was just good convo and good food and I was sitting next to people I liked.
(Also im writing this bit the day after, I forgot but while I was on the couch this kid name Leonardo (wasian and dorky but kinda cute) sat down in a chair by me and I asked him “you’re name is Leonardo right?” And he said yes and asked me how my day was and some basic stuff, the he gave me a fist bump and said bye when he left, later semi-relevant)
After that we were going to start watch Top Gun Maverick which they were playing and at this point the group split so I was just with Naga, Jonny, Tyrese, Hart, and Braxton, and we sat down and when Braxton was sitting down Hart or someone smacked his ass and made it look like it was me so when Braxton turned around and asked it was me I obviously said no (I’m sure he knew it was hart or whatever) and it was funny and Jonny and Tyrese were laughing. I sat on the table with my legs between Jonny and Hart’s shoulders, Jonny had also said again about how I could have a chair (and it was just a little bit sweet) but I told him it was fine. Then the six of us decided to go downstairs to play Mario kart on the bottom floor. This was kind of okay before they started played and I jokingly brought up the bandaids I got from my roommate to Hart cause of his massive knee wound and told Naga I had the bandaids cause I had gotten blisters from football (Hart also was also in the football group on Tuesday) and Hart asked if I had been wearing socks and I said something to the affect of duh and said it would have been gross if I hadn’t and he or Naga mentioned something about how some girls don’t and how it was gross. There was one other bit when the were talking about Hart wanting this girl where he or maybe Naga asked me if guys being clingy was “an ick” or whatever and I said something to the affect of yes even though I don’t totally agree as it depends on the situation. After that it just kinda slowly worsened cause I didn’t get to actually play Mario kart (not surprising) and the speaker was playing loud rap and two other lowkey dweeb guys (but still guys) joined and I just was feeling quite out of place by the end, again, the issue of whether I am disrupting them or whether they don’t give a shit about my presence. I’m going to more avoid situations like that from now on though, it just wasn’t really what I wanted and would have been better if Jonny was on my left instead of Hart but he wasn’t, and Jonny didn’t really say anything in general, but neither did I. We eventually went up to watch the last fifteen minutes of the movie, which was meh, and then me, Naga, Jonny, Tyrese, Braxton, Colin, Saranya, her friend, and Anirudh went downstairs and talked briefly but Tyrese, Braxton, and Jonny left. Then we played one round of never have I ever where for me the highlight was just that I was the only one who put a finger down when Naga said “never have I ever played spin the bottle” and Anirudh asked me about it (very casually) and Naga asked if I had to kiss someone and I said like well yeah and he said he would just like be out of there and I said like yeah I’ve done that before too. Eventually Saranya asked if any of us actually liked Hart and I was like I don’t know, and brought up how i was surprised by how cliquey it was and like why was hart even here and others said kinda concurrent stuff, I also asked Naga if he knew why Hart was in aero and he just said like I don’t know his parents are rich. Also it was brought up (again) that people were going to sneak out and go to a room on the fourth floor at 11 and Saranya said she wouldn’t go since like if I and her went we’d be the only girls she like asked me if I was going and I asked Naga who was going and he said probably all guys so I said I didn’t really wanna do that, so hopefully he knows that I don’t intend on involving myself in all guy time possible. Also, though I could be more opposed, I’m still just not crazy about the idea of sneaking alone, let alone to end up in an environment similar to the Mario kart one from earlier. Then we went upstairs except for Naga who stayed on the couch (also I think he was still stressed from the expense of dinner) and in the elevator Saranya said something about how he kept trying to ditch them which was semi-true but I also had been just as ditchy I guess. Idk, I don’t think I was worth her bringing up. So today had fun parts for sure but also I don’t like feeling like I’m on the popularity ladder, so I’ll be happy to leave Friday! GN!
V V V Naga and Jonny pre Pepsi chugging contest (photo by Ani sorry about the quality), Jonny, Naga, Tyrese, and Colin at the chemistry lab (photo by Hart)
V V V Audio of what it was like when I was downstairs with the guys playing Mario kart, I was uncomfortable but this is still kind of fun in retrospect