Songs I Can't Play @ My Wedding

Happily Engaged Man Livin' in NYC

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Alanis Morissette - “Uninvited”

having a song about an ex is probably not good...sounds a little bitter...and some may think you are poking fun of those who were not invited to your wedding...

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Beastie Boys - “Girls”

being a little sexist during the wedding will probably not endear you that well to your in-laws..this is a fun song though...very catchy and silly...

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Bell Biv Devoe - “Poison”

i guarantee that the dance floor at a wedding would rocking if this came on...however some people may take this as a slight towards the bride especially if she a big butt and a smile...

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Slick Rick - “Indian Girl”

Slick Rick was the first rapper i heard rap about sex...at that time i thought he was a family-friendly rapper...this song changed those thoughts... 

sample lyric: “He's fucking, sucking, also finger popping / He had, no intention of stopping”

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Raekwon - “Ice Cream”

my fiancee loves this song...there is a slight chance we play the clean version of it, but who knows... 

sample lyric: “Wu-Tang in the cut, for real niggaz what?

It's the after party and bitches want to fuck”

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Ol’ Dirty Bastard - “Shimmy Shimmy Ya”

ODB was amazing...talked openly about his illegitimate kids, getting STD’s and drugs...rapping about going raw would make for an uncomfortable conversation with your Granny...and then of course you tell her what ODB stands for...

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Buckcherry - “Crazy Bitch”

girls who love this song are the BEST...they love rock music, do body shots and dance on top of bars...unless it’s a Vegas wedding most of those things are frowned upon at a traditional wedding...plus singing about fucking your wife so good is a bit TMI...and probably calling her a crazy bitch may not make for a good memory...

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Pantera - “This Love”

who doesn’t want to hear a “love song” at a wedding? i’m guessing the one person who doesn’t is Phil Anselmo...brutal and aggressive, i just love this song...may cause headaches and whiplash from all of the headbanging...

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Tool - “Prison Sex”

Great song, even better video...with that said, the thought of actual “prison sex” would send chills to your wedding guests...dropping the soap in a prison shower is not romantic, plus would only bring bad memories to any ex-cons...

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Kanye West - “Gold Digger”

the N word is featured prominently, so that is a concern obviously...but more importantly everyone will blame the Groom for calling his wife a gold digger...another concern is that Kanye is very polarizing...

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George Michael - “I Want Your Sex”

obviously your wedding night involves sex...however playing this song begs someone to ask “whose sex you want”? your spouse? your ex? an in-law? better off avoiding these questions at all costs...

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Superjoint Ritual - “Fuck Your Enemy”

The song title alone makes it an obvious choice...i saw them at The Bowery Ballroom and got kicked in the face with a boot from a stage diver...good times, good times

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Cypress Hill - “I Wanna Get High”

I’m not a pot smoker but I have a fondness for pot-related songs...if your in-laws are members of the DEA or other law enforcement agencies this will make them go all Hank Schrader on you...

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Sublime - “Date Rape”

never should play this because some may think this was your first date...

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Tenacious D - “Fuck Her Gently”

during a wedding everyone is thinking and talking about love, especially the mother of the Bride...a song like this would give her the urge to punch the Groom in the face...

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Slayer - “Disciple”

any song that screams “GOD HATES US ALL” is automatically banned...throw in some headbanging and it guarantees one of your in-laws asking for an annulment

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Candiria - “Without Water”

A song that fuses rap and metal...lots of yelling and cursing...a precursor of marriage