I got an ask that was quite aggressive telling me this post was bullshit because your loved ones should always “love you as hard as possible”.
And I disagree. In a perfect world with nothing but time and energy, sure. But people have their own lives and get exhausted. Sometimes in relationships, we have to give a little extra because someone can only put in 20% at that moment due to personal circumstances.
I think it becomes a problem if you’re always expect to give and never get. But it is normal to fluctuate on what effort people can put into relationships.
100% at all times isn’t reasonable or realistic.
Sometimes things at work are more rough for my partner, so I pick up a bit of slack and love him harder. Sometimes (like now) my depression gets really bad and he has to love me harder. This might mean things like he texts me more to check in on me, makes more time to hold me, or maybe surprises me with things I like. “Love you harder” will vary for every person.
It would only be bad if one person was expected to give more all the time. But it is so normal to fluctuate. My partner and me fluctuate. And we take care of each other.