I fell in love when I was 17 years old. So inexperienced in the sense of not knowing how I should have acted, what I should have done, or who I was supposed to be. Ignoring the fact that, all I ever had to do was be myself. To not try to fit into some bullshit idea of who I thought I should be, but rather be who I was. I was young, and stupid. Consumed by the admiration of so many, not thinking of anyone else but myself. Selfish, rude, and just heartless as can be. Years passed by and I still loved the man who stole my heart, though I was awful at showing it, and couldn't help but to take in everyone else's opinions. My insecurities were the death of me. Of us. The long nights I spent thinking it wasn't good enough, that I wasn't good enough. Knit picking at every single detail, no words ever enough to get me out of this delusional mindset I had myself in. Now looking back, I don't know what to think, or how to feel. All I know is how I felt, the nights where your words echoed through my body. Yet, to this day, my heart skips a beat for you. My body aches, my tears flow harder than ever, and reality kicks in every time as a reminder that it really is gone. You're happy now, I see your pictures and how much you appreciate her. How you look content for the first time in a long time and I never want you to feel any sadness. It hurts to see, yet I get this odd satisfaction when I do because I want you to succeed, I want you to thrive and I want you to get the best out of everything. I'm sorry I wasn't the one, I guess that's more so an apology to myself, but still. Good luck on your journey, and soak up these beautiful moments, with your beautiful woman, and your beautiful soul. Love always, Sierra.
areudirty
izzy806
dededos
blakekathryn
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2087
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