The Splash of Rain on the Roof | Eddie Munson x f!Reader | 18+
Thank you to @forget-you-morelike-fuck-you for editing, always there for me, bestie.
Also to @bebe07011 for reading everything before I post and giving me feed back. Love ya.
Summary: you're best friends with Eddie Munson after moving to Hawkins, the new girl who ditches the cheerleaders for the Freaks. A year later, you've fallen head over heels for him, and you're convinced there's no way he has any interest in you. It finally seems confirmed when you find out (more or less) that he's into a fucking cheerleader. Your heart breaks.
Warnings: (idiots) best friends to lovers, dork!reader, virgin!eddie and virgin!reader (its cute, ok), kinda slow, no protection, creampie, praise/degradation, minor miscommunication trope, sleepy 5am writing, first I love yous
I have another one shot planned, it's about 3/4 done.
Word count: 11k
-
As any first day at Hawkins High in the middle of the semester goes, you had a fairly decent one. A cheerleader spotted you in her class and dragged you over to her table, a parade of jocks and cheerleaders surrounding it. You wondered if their insistence was genuine, and you let yourself believe it. Until their true colours were shown through a nasty gossip session.
For the most part, they all had kind things to say about one another. They encouraged each other and asked how your day was so far. Did it count as false advertising if fake friends show their real colours? If anything, you were grateful they were so quick about it. You barely had a chance to memorize their names when one of them broke out in an overdramatic bellow in disgust. Your interest piqued, nearly drowning in their dull conversations, no matter how polite.
You followed the curly haired boysâ line of sight across the cafeteria to a group of boys laughing louder than the rest of the school. They looked carefree and like they were enjoying themselves. You envied them. Your eyes switched back to your new supposed friends, afraid of what exactly was so worthy of their collective disgust.
Their immediate round of insults to the harmless group of boys left the worst taste in your mouth. After the three or four people had their say, you got up without another word.
âWait! Where you going?â Called the girl who escorted you to the table.
âAnywhere but here.â You answered, having understood immediately what kind of group of people she associated herself with.
She had plenty more to say, but you didnât hear another word. You were far too busy beelining for the gorgeous man who was at the head of said table. The moment you looked over to them, your vision tunneled. The complaints voiced by the table of Preps seemed to be an extension of their âfreakinessâ, or so they called it, which you deduced was just another word for âdorkâ.
Little did they know, you are also a dork.
So, the table you had just ditched watched in horror as you walked straight to the table and immediately sat down with them.
Turns out the gorgeous man was as kind as he was good-looking.
-
Itâs been over a year since you started at Hawkins, over a year of friendship with Eddie Munson, said gorgeous man. Whatâs even worse, heâs better than you had expected him to be. As you settle into the Hellfire Club, adding your own adventurous characters, and contributing to inside jokes, you and Eddie end up closer than you had ever expected.
Unfortunate news is, he has you so far in the friend zone, youâre starting to wonder if even he knows youâre a girl. (With fantastic tits, which he never seems to even look at.)
Youâve spent plenty of nights in a pair of tiny shorts and an oversized top with no bra as you listen to music and smoke a joint with him, hoping over and over that he would just make a move because lord knows you werenât gonna do it.
The pressure of his hand when it rests on your lower back, the way he curls your hair behind your ear, his breath down your neck when he hugs you, it all sets your skin on fire.
On one night you were terribly upset at your mom after having a fight with her, getting in your car to take the eight-minute drive to his house. You had arrived at his trailer uninvited plenty of times before, Eddie encouraged it once he realized the fights were a regular thing. Only this time, he wasnât in the living-room watching a scary movie, or in his bedroom listening to records or making a new campaign.
He was in the shower.
At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Heâs had plenty of showers while you were over. Heâd be stupidly apologetic about it, but if you were to be honest with him, the smell of the body wash that lingered on him was too good to pass up. You grabbed a bag of chips and a soda from his fridge and a beer for him, figuring youâd meet him when he struts out in that low hanging towel. On your way to Eddieâs room, a noise like music hit your ears and the slick beer almost fell out of your hand.
âUh, uh, oh shitâŠfuckââ You heard him, loud and clear, a noise you only imagined late at night in your own bedroom. You stood there frozen in the hallway, listening as he fucked his own fist. You listened as his breaths got faster, his whining higher pitched. But no sound could match the divine noise Eddie made as he finished. Your breath hitched then, drool pooling on your tongue as you pictured sticky white ropes all over the shower.
Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, your panties drenched just from listening to him. You wondered what wouldâve happened if your hands were empty. When the shower turned off, your gut swooped, butterflies kicking in as you raced to look casual on his bed. You didnât have much time to prepare, turning on some music and picking up one of his magazines. Shit, dirty magazine. You quickly adjusted to the next one over, featuring a Metal band on the cover.
As Eddie entered his room, you were laying on the bed looking casual as you could, hoping he didnât pick up on your heavy breathing. If he did, he didnât indicate it. As much as you tried, your breathing didnât slow, your eyes zoned in on the droplets of water dripping down his bare chest, lingering on his treasure trail. He greeted you absentmindedly, picking up a pair of sweats.
That night, you could do nothing but stammer through your sentences, chalking it up to stress from the fight with your mom. He offered you to sleep over, a normal habit youâve developed, but the itch to slip your fingers down your pants was too much. If you had to face your mom just to get it figured out, so be it.
A switch flipped in you that day, it went from being a schoolgirl crush into a want, no, a need for him.
God, you wish heâd just get a clueâŠor thatâd you get the nerve to make a move.
Something better than this torture.
-
After the third pat on his hand, Eddie finally looked up, wondering why Josh canât take the hint. âWhat, what?â He asked, already annoyed at his day as it was. Fucking history teacherâŠ
âNew girl.â Josh gestured towards the jock/cheerleader table.
Eddie blinked, questioning why the hell he should be interested in this. The insistence on not just Joshâs face, but the rest of the group convinced Eddie, switching his glance over to the table. You stuck out like a sore thumb, not exactly dressed in their prep uniform. From this single glance, he could tell you were uncomfortable. In any case, neither were most cheerleaders on their first days. Oh well, he figured you would assimilate soon enough. Shame, with how pretty you were.
Soon enough, Eddieâs mood lightened up, amused by the witty banter his friends were spitting back and forth. Something Gareth said ended up being ridiculously funny, a feat that heâs familiar with, and it breaks the entire group into loud laughter, something that obviously disrupts the cafeteria. Eddie didnât care, and neither did any of the other members of Hellfire. If no one would give them any decency, why the hell would they owe anyone else any?
As always, the laughter invited even more scrutiny. Eddie knew the reaction of the table you sat at, firing off insults surrounding the word freak. If they could just get original content, that would be great, Eddie thought as he looked back down to his notebook of campaign notes. He was in the middle of deciding which book he might need to check out for reference when Josh tapped his hand again, far more aggressively.
âWhat?â He snapped, but caught wind of what was so urgent immediately.
There you were, walking as if you were strutting a runway to his table. He thought he mustâve had it confused for a second, but after assessing the reaction of your previous table, it couldnât have been less wrong. Eddie leaned over to the table to his friends, teeth gritted. âBe normal.â
After about ten minutes of awkward conversation, as a last resort you had asked what Eddie was working on. âOh, the campaign for DnD.â
âWait, you play DnD?â You asked.
Eddie wasnât sure if this question was negative or positive. âYeah, weâre a Dungeons and Dragons club.â Gareth answered for him.
âOh sweet!â The answer stunned all of them. âCan I join?â
âYou play Dungeons and Dragons?â Josh asked incredulously.
âYeah, my dad taught me.â You replied.
âDrama room, Friday night at 7. Donât be late.â Eddie said, finally making eye contact with you.
He regretted it from the moment he did. The beauty he saw from afar was only intensified by a hundred. You looked at the table with intrigue, much more interest than you ever showed at the jocks table. Eddie couldnât believe how wrong he was to assume you would just assimilate with them. You were too good for them.
Wait, you were too good for his club as well, what the hell were you doing there?
-
If Eddie had any current quarrels with the universe, it was that you just kept getting better and better as he got to know you. He was prepared for your level one basic dwarf when you showed up with a level 59 Warlock. You kicked his bossâs ass, carrying the weight of all your co-adventurers.
From there, Eddie swore he mustâve gotten hit in the head somehow, because life just isnât good for him, never has been. But with you, life is worth tolerating. From the start, he had fallen for you, and he still would have even if you did only have a level one dwarf.
As luck would have it, you would never turn down an offer to hang out with him. The first time he offered, butterflies sat in his gut until he walked up to your locker and offered for you to watch a movie at his house with him. You accepted graciously, asking if he minded youâd watch horror. Internally, Eddie fell to his knees. Externally, he nodded, keeping his eyes on what he called the prettiest damn eyes heâs ever seen.
He felt lucky you accepted his displays of affection with him, leaning heavily into his hugs and letting his legs intertwine with yours. His hair would stand up, your skin setting his on fire.
Lately, though, he could swear something is out to get him. As you started getting more comfortable being at his house so often, you started wearing smaller clothing. First, it started off with a pair of sweats and a messy bun. That tore Eddie farther apart than it should have. It turned into braless shirts and tiny shorts, and Eddie stared at the curve of your ass, usually half hard as you laid on his bed.
The first night he ran to the bathroom to jerk off to the outline of your nipple, he felt like shit, yet he wanted nothing more to mouth at it, to mark it his.
Eddie is so sure youâre innocent of it all, unaware of his lust and feelings for you. It started as feelings, but the lust has started to take over to the point where Eddie has to jerk off before you get there. He knows youâre going to bend over too much as you âhelpâ him with making meals. As of late, the tiny pair of shorts barely conceals the outline of your cunt, something that tugs what could only be described as a whimper out of him, has been becoming all too much.
Eddie realizes heâs gonna have to ask you out.
-
After yet another unsuccessful Saturday night over at Eddieâs houseâ well, successful in terms of getting you out of your house but unsuccessful in the sense that Eddie just doesnât seem to see you as a fucking girlâ you trade your books to prepare for another boring lecture, watching across the hall as Gareth and Eddie seem to be in humorous conversation, judging on the laughter alone.
Eddie is nodding, appearing to agree exuberantly with what Gareth is saying to him. Might as well kill some time before class starts. You walk over, backpack on one shoulder as the weight from all of your books bounces off the back of one of your thighs. Just as youâre about to interrupt their conversation, Eddie makes eye contact with you. As a reflex, you break into a smile at his dimples. However, Eddie says one last thing to Gareth before walking away from their conversation.
You try not to take it personal. There are several jokes in Hellfire you have learned a long time ago to not take personally. However, this felt personal. Eddie doesnât usually take part in the jokes at your expense. The boys give you enough crap for him anyways, and he gives them crap, and you give Eddie crap. Itâs a wonderful circle of crap, really.
As soon as you approach Gareth, now alone, he gives you a half smile, clearly trying to dissipate from the awkward situation. âHey,â Gareth greets you, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning onto his locker to seem âcasual.â
âWhat was that about?â You get straight to the point, nodding towards where Eddie had just walked away.
Gareth stutters through his words, adjusting his arms between crossed and placing his hand on his locker. Oh, Gareth, ever so graceful. âI-I-He-he-he just-uhââ
âGareth!â You interrupt him, knowing he could continue his stammering for a while unless you stop it. âJust tell me!â You shove his shoulder, annoyed already. What reason could Eddie possibly have for taking off like that?
âWe were just talking about the girl he likes, is all.â Gareth admits sheepishly, his eyes flicking everywhere but you.
âOh,â you answer, feeling crestfallen. A girl? Eddie likes a girl? And hasnât even had the audacity to tell you about it? Were you not his best friend? Maybe heâs your best friend, but youâre not his. You shake off that annoying voice of doubt in your head, knowing on some level itâs irrational. Then why didnât he tell me anything? âOh, heâsâŠnever even mentioned a girl around meâŠâ
Gareth knows exactly why youâre crestfallen, your crush on Eddie not the most exact unknown fact in your group of friends. âI donât know, he doesnât talk about it a whole lotâŠâ Gareth trails off, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. It wasnât exactly a lie; Eddie doesnât talk about his crush on you. He barely mentions it. The only reason anyone in Hellfire knows anythingâŠis because they have eyes.
âOh. Alright.â You have to get out of this conversation before the tears that crept up behind your eyes make an appearance. âIâll see you at lunch?â You donât even wait for a response, already turned around towards a bathroom to get your shit together.
Gareth feels guilty as shit when he sees the way you shuffle off to the bathroom, your sniffles louder than you even realize. In fact, Eddie was just telling Gareth he was finally gaining the courage to ask you out. Unfortunately, your brain has already eliminated this idea altogether.
-
Eddie sits in his usual spot for the lunch period, a foot parked on the edge of the table as he leans back with his arms crossed, observing his friends arguing yet again. Doesnât really matter what theyâre arguing about, never really does. They could be arguing about which album of a certain artist is better, which class of character is better to play, or even which teacher sucks the most in the school.
Theyâre all pointless, and Eddie always has a final say in who wins the argument. Being the leader has its perks.
Even as he seems casual, he checks his watch occasionally because youâre still not there yet. He looks forward to your presence at the table, to the way you indulge in their idiotic fights, if only for a second. It never fails to amuse him. Usually, as of late, youâve been picking a side just to piss off Mike, and he still hasnât seemed to catch on yet.
Right now, Dustin and Mike are arguing over the stupidest thing yet, something not even worth mentioning. Lucas is trying to give his input that this isnât worth fighting over, but theyâre talking over him. Eddie wonders how long heâs going to let them hash it out for.
Gareth rolls his eyes as he watches Eddieâs face lights up as you finally make your way across the cafeteria to the table. You greet the entire table, letting your bag fall to the floor as you rest your chin on your hand.
Dustin immediately attempts to instigate you into the fight. âHey, can you tell Mike thatââ
âNo offense, Dustin, but I really donât care.â You interrupt him, sounding tired. The whole table but Eddie laughs at your answer.
This allows the table to segue into a different conversation, something that everyone can care about. Eddie takes the opportunity to lean in. âAre you not hungry?â He asks lowly, noting the lack of cafeteria tray you have today.
You can barely look him in those gorgeous brown eyes, your heart dropped to your gut the moment you heard he likes someone else. âNot really. Lost my appetite.â
His brows furrow, watching you avoid his eyes and sink into yourself. This was so unlike you. Usually, youâre much surer of yourself, an aura of confidence even he finds himself envious of at times. âAre you okay?â He asks again.
You shrug your shoulders, not committing to a yes or no answer. You finally lay your eyes on him, and heâs staring past you across the cafeteria, you follow his eyelineâŠdirectly to the cheerleaderâs table. A realization hits you and somehow your heart drops even lower.
He likes a fucking cheerleader.
You shouldâve known his type would be a girl who jumps up and down in a tiny skirt. Maybe you shouldâve joined the cheer squad then. Then at least you wouldâve had a damn chance.
Somehow, you donât even have the appetite to sit next to him anymore. âListen, I have to ask for help in my chemistry class, itâs kicking my ass. UmâŠâ
Eddie is about to protest but youâve already picked up your bag and started jogging out the large door of the cafeteria. In fact, you missed the rest of the school day to fucking wallow in this stupid heartache. Your mom doesnât pay enough attention to the school's phone calls to begin with.
As you leave the cafeteria, Eddie gives a questioning look to his fellow Hellfire mates. Hell, if they know. Gareth knows, but theyâve made a collective agreement not to meddle, as much as it pained Dustin. Eddie was just gearing up the confidence to ask if youâd want to hang out that weekend, which is where he was planning on making his move for the first time. He didn't know what was upsetting you, but he figured it was something to do with your homelife, as it usually does.
However, he couldnât have seen the next week coming.
As Eddie goes through the motions of barely making attendance and handing in assignments with maybe a paragraph of some bullshit he spewed, he usually has your pretty face to look forward to. In his second period, his leg bounces as he waits for you to sit next to him in your usual seat so he can have an opportunity to ask the damn question heâs been meaning to. He's in class on time for once, just to watch your pretty face as you walk to the back corner to sit with him. One benefit of repeating senior year is that he gets to have class with you now. If you could only see his face as it fell as you walked into the classroom and took the immediate seat right by the front door.
After an hour of over thinking, Eddie finally convinces himself you simply just werenât in the mood for conversation. The way you avoid the Hellfire table when you walk into the cafeteria that day seems to prove that theory right. Until over the following week he sees you having conversations with other members of Hellfire. Alright, that hurts.
One day, he calls your name as youâre at your locker, and he catches your eye contact before you run towards the front door.
What the hell did he do wrong?
-
In your 7th or 8th day of narrowly avoiding Eddie, you end up having to walk home in a light drizzle. Usually you have your car, but your mom insisted on needing it for the day. On the occasion that she needed the car, usually you would grab a ride from Eddie. Right now, that just wasnât an option.
You start to feel bad for the first time since your avoidance started. You saw how Eddieâs face fell every time you made eye contact and walked the other way. No matter how much youâve wanted to talk to him, you just can't let your feelings go.
You just need distance. If you give yourself enough time, the idea of having to leave him so he can have date-night with another girl wonât send you into a mental spiral. If you give yourself enough time, you could stand the idea of listening to him gush about her. As of right now, thereâs no possible way any of that sounds doable to you.
As you got up this morning, the weather was bright and sunny, warm on your skin. You wore a layered skirt and a tank top. Unfortunately, the rain was picking up slowly, and youâre sure it's going to be pouring by the time you get home, still another mile or two away.
You walk on the sidewalk, arms crossed over one another to prevent from shivering as much as you can, narrowly avoiding the splashing from tires as cars pass by. While the rain picks up, your ears barely pick up on a vehicle slowing down right by you.
âGet in!â You hear a voice, recognizing it off the bat.
You look up to face him, nice and dry in his van that he has pulled over right next to you. You can barely see him through the rain. You shake your head, continuing your walk home.
âSweetheart, get in! Youâre gonna get sick! Itâs starting to thunder!â Eddie argues, driving slowly as you continue to walk.
âNo, Iâm fine!â You answer, your chattering teeth giving away your iron clad position.
âOh, for fucksââ You think Eddie has given up, your eyes on the ground as you trudge forward, until you see his scuffed-up shoes in your direct eyeline. His firm hands land on the soft flesh of your shoulders, stopping you in your tracks. âHey. What the fuck did I do?â
Your eyes look up to him in surprise. âHuh?â
âYouâve been avoiding me for the last week and a half!â He yells, mostly because the rain has picked up so goddamn much.
âI-I just need space.â You tell him, attempting to get out of his hold.
âWait, what? Why?â Eddie asks. Your eyes blink rapidly as you peer up at him, his curly hair already soaked from the rain. âWhat do you mean, you need space?â
You gulp out of both tears and frustration. âI just need space, Eddie! I need some time⊠to get used to it.â
You might as well have been speaking in tongues. âGet used to what? What the hell are you talking about?â
The words bubble up in your thoughts and through your throat before you can stop them. âYou made it extremely clear that you donât see me as anything other than a friend, and now you have a crush on some girl!â
Eddie couldnât register a single word you were saying. It made no sense to him. âWhat?â
âI have made a complete fool out of myself! I basically put myself on display just for you to look at some girl shaking her ass in a cheerleader uniform.â You chuckle, wiping some rain from your face as it drips cold down your cheeks. âMaybe I shouldâve joined the squad, then I wouldâve stood a chance.â
âWait, wait.â Eddie is having trouble processing any of this. âCan you please go from the start, sweetheart?â
âGareth told me you like someone.â You admit, your voice faltering. âAfter sending signals for God knows how long, I guess I finally realize Iâve been making a fool out of myself with you.â You sigh, giving him the saddest look he's ever seen from you. âI just need some time to get over you.â
The information finally all seems to add up for Eddie. âWait, sweetheart, back up.â Eddie says a soft smile landing on his face as he understands. âYou-you like me?â
âUh, yeah?â You answer, the answer obvious.
âAnd you think I like some cheerleader?â Eddie asks, pulling you closer to him.
God, this is torture. âI mean, you do, donât you?â
He laughs, loud andâŠjoyful. âGod, no.â He says, and you nearly melt at the half smirk now settled on his face.
It's your turn to be confused. âHuh?â
âThe girl I like is you, you dumbass.â
Suddenly your heart is in your ears, and you canât think passed that smile on his face. The glint in his eyes is new, the look in his eye driving you stupidly crazy. âWait, Ed, donât fuck with me here.â
The hands resting on your shoulders float up to the shine of your cheeks, framing your face. Rain is dripping off his bangs and heâs nearly struggling through it but doesnât seem to care. Truth is, he does not. All he can see is the shine of your lips from the rain. âBaby, Iâve been wanting to kiss those lips since the moment I saw you.â
Your breath hitches, staring at those lips youâve stared at so many times. âThen what's stopping you?â
Your lips meet in the middle, rain colliding with one side of your face as you tilt your head. He takes the lead right away, your skin on fire as you are barely able to believe that this is real, and that heâs really kissing you. Eddie nibbles on your bottom lip, you let out a small whimper in response. Your tongue eagerly reaches out to meet his, the collision feeling like velvet. Eddieâs hand spreads out on your face, his limber fingers something youâve fantasized about several times.
You continue to make out in the rain, one of your hands finding their way in his soaked hair. One hand is placed on the small on your back, tugging your body right up against his. Another whimper escapes your mouth, Eddie opening his mouth and breathing heavily into yours in a knee-jerk reaction.
Eddie separates from you, placing his forehead against yours. âYou wanna get in now?â A half chuckle passes his lips at the sheer stupidity of this major miscommunication.
âPlease.â
Eddie opens the back door to his van, already a blanket and pillow on the floor thanks to his habits in his free time. As you climb in, you squeeze the water from your hair, suddenly realizing youâre actually quite cold. Eddie observes your shivering. âCold, baby?â
âFreezing.â You admit, grabbing a blanket folded in the corner. He helps you get wrapped up, rubbing your arms quickly. âI donât wanna stop kissing you, though.â Another admission comes out just as easily.
âYou sure?â He asks, walking on his knees to meet you.
âJust kiss me.â You tell him grabbing him by the jacket.
He chuckles as he meets your lips, his face dipping down to meet yours again. You fall backwards to lie down, tugging on his jacket so he lands on you. He giggles as he lands on his forearm right next to your head, all teeth against your lips as he smiles into you. Your legs curl up around his torso, tugging him impossibly closer.
âYou have noââ He sighs, kissing you in intervals. ââŠNo idea how badly Iâve wanted to kiss these pretty lips of yours.â
Your heart flutters as you giggle into the kiss, the compliments he showers you in too much to believe. âEd, I-I want you to touch meâŠâ You sigh, the blanket slowly falling off your body.
âUh, donât know if you know this, but IâŠIâve neverâŠâ Eddie stutters, sounding nervous.
You let out a small huff of laughter. âItâŠitâs okay, Eddie.â Your hands entangle into the wet curls on his head. âNeither have I.â
Eddie lets out an audible gulp from the simple implications. âI think we should get off the main road before we start getting too into it, baby.â
âOh, ok.â You tell him, butterflies fluttering in your tummy.
He sits back up, a noticeable tent in his pants making you feel flustered. You thought you felt something against your thigh, but mentally, you couldnât fathom that he was hard for you. He extends his hand out for you, you accept it gratefully as he helps you scoot back out of the back. The two of you scurry to your prospective seats, the rain now coming down so fast your hair is soaked from the mere seconds it took you to get there.
Eddie pushes his wet mop of a head of hair to the side as he laughs with you at the scenario you currently find yourselves in. As he starts the van, he gives you a cocky eyebrow raise, the heat from the air vents surprising you in a blast. His heavy foot placed on the gas pedal surprises you, your head swinging backwards at the force.
Without asking, you know exactly where Eddie is headed. The drive takes longer than average, your nerves racking sky high as his strong hand holds yours absentmindedly.
The rain continues its assault from the sky, a flash of lighting reflecting in the water as you pull up to the edge of Loversâ Lake. As Eddie brakes, your head falls back onto the fabric covered headrest, eyes closing as you place his hand in yours in your lap. The heat of your arousal is radiating off you, your thumb absentmindedly smoothing over Eddieâs.
Thereâs nothing youâve wanted more than to be sweaty with him on top of you, but now that itâs about to happen, the fact is nearly overwhelming. As you soak in the sound of the rain on the roof of the van, Eddie presses his hand where you have it on your upper thigh, putting pressure on it. An involuntary whimper escapes your throat, and as your lungs fill up with air Eddie leans in across the gap of the seats, a chuckle leaving those sweet lips as he nuzzles into your neck.
A sigh leaves your lips as you can feel his teeth start to nibble lightly, relaxing into it. He places his other arm over you, coming up to rub your torso as his tongue delicately laps along your jugular. âEdâŠcan we lie down?â You ask, your eyelids starting to feel heavy.
âYou wanna climb, or you wanna get out?â On cue, a flash of lightning hits right on the lake. âClimb?â
âClimb.â You agree, giving him your sweetest smile.
âLadies first?â Eddie asks, gesturing to the back.
You awkwardly place your knee on the middle console your hands having a rough landing on the blanket covered floor of the van as you start to crawl forward. Behind you, Eddie appreciates the view, how your pink, thin panties beautifully showcase the outline of your cunt, still soaked from the rain. Well the rain and your arousal, of course.
You turn around, one leg bent as you wait for Eddie to climb over. His hand moves to turn on the overhead light, then he slowly crawls his way to you, the look in his darkened eyes sending a thrill up your spine. By the time his body lines up with yours, youâre giggling out of nervousness, wondering where this energy came from.
He hovers over you, the wide smile on his face as he switches between your eyes sending your nerves up into the atmosphere. Your legs open for him, accepting him as he lays on top of you. His hair starts to fall over your face as he leans in, his mouth deliciously open as he kisses you some more.
âEd.â You mumble, moving your hands to where they seem to favour, the collar of his leather jacket. âTake this off.â
He hums as he follows your order, sliding the jacket off his shoulders as he continues to kiss you. Well, his multi-tasking is a bit jagged, but you appreciate the effort, nonetheless. You admire his newly exposed arms sitting in his wet muscle shirt. He leans down to continue lapping at your neck again, adding more teeth to turn your neck purple, having stared at this part when you stretch out a kink or two from your neck.
Youâre so turned on; you can feel it in your bones. âEddie,â you whimper out, eyes closed as you give in to the way his tongue feels electric. âI need you to touch me, please.â You beg him, your pussy begging you for attention.
âOf course, baby,â Eddie gulps, and knowing him, you could hear his nerves.
âHey,â you say, reaching out to hold his face. âI can help you, just reach out to touch me and Iâll tell you how to do it. I just need your fucking fingers on me, please.â
Eddie leans in, kissing gently along your jawline. âI know, maybe I just wanted to hear you beg.â
You roll your eyes, calling him out on his bluff. âMmhmm. Just fucking touch me, Munson.â
Eddieâs hesitancy seemed to die right there, his unsteady fingers simply placed over the thin layer of your panties makes you gasp, just the light touch giving you some satisfaction. âYou were saying?â
Eddie starts to lightly trace along the folds, noting how it dips right where your hole would be. Eddie canât help but get harder as the heat from your pussy radiates. âFeels goodâŠâ you mutter, sighing lightly. âJust a little harder, please?â
âYou want it harder, sweetheart?â He asks, you nod enthusiastically. âYou sure?â You nod again, frustrated at his damn questions.
He puts pressure on his fingers, experimentally starting to circle them around. âLittle higher, Ed.â You tell him as he just grazes your clit. He listens, moving his fingers a half of an inch higher and continuing. He moves his fingers just high enough, starting to circle perfectly on your clit. You moan out loud, letting out small gasps. âRight there, right there!â
âOh my god.â Eddie mumbles to himself, watching your face crumple up as your legs fall more open. âYou have no idea how long Iâve wanted to hear you moan like thisâŠfucking stunning.â Your moans grow louder, your thighs starting to tense. Eddie suddenly stops, and you whimper at the loss. You feel him start to move your panties aside. As soon as you realize what heâs doing, your head perks up, watching his face as he stares at your exposed pussy for the first time.
The heat in your pussy increases, tenfold, weeping just from his intense stare.
He doesnât say anything for a minute, mouth half open and his eyes donât even blink. âEddie?â You ask, starting to feel self-conscious.
âWowâŠâ he mutters, eyes finally locking with yours. âI knew your pussy would be pretty, I didnât know it would be this ravishing.â
You gulp, feeling more wanted than you knew you ever could.
His fingers trace gently along your folds, just feeling your pussy. As he hears a whimper from you, a note of your impatience, he suddenly turns his hand upside down starting to touch with more pressure. âFuck, youâre so wet, baby.â He whispers. âAllâŠall this for me?â
Youâre wet for him more than he knows, but your mouth canât even communicate it, your brain having gone dumb from his touch alone.
He licks his lips, starting to rub at your folds purposely. âLook at this pretty little cunt, oh my godâŠwonderâŠâ he doesnât finish his thought, but when his long digit makes its way in you, you can deduce what he was thinking. He slides it in and out slowly, the length of his finger reaching much farther than yours ever have.
Your breathing gains speed and depth, adding another finger and fucking you slow, yet perfect. âEddie.â You moan, your slick dripping down your ass and onto the blanket. Eddie moves his fingers faster, looking at your face for your response. âF-faster!â
Eddie lets out a huff of laughter you donât hear, too caught up in the pleasure. âJusâ gonnaâŠâ He leans in, and his tongue flat against your clit yanks the first genuine moan out of you, the pleasure all encompassing.
âJust like that! Please, Eddie, so close, please!â You beg him, the orgasm sneaking on you as it hurtles toward you, just around the corner.
He switches up, still new to this whole thing, but he makes up for it by gripping onto the soft flesh of your thighs and starting to fuck his tongue into your weeping hole. His lips create a sort of suction around the length of your lips, and the heat that radiates into your thighs becomes too fucking much as your thighs close hard against his ears.
âGonnaâŠâ itâs the only warning you can provide for him before your entire body tenses up, a primal moan leaving your lips. Eddie works you through your orgasm, holding your thighs held against his head and revelling in how you soak his lips. Heâs pictured his nose against your pussy too many times to already be satisfied.
As you finally come down, Eddie is still fucking into you with his tongue, seemingly not giving up. You lift your head up, your thighs now loose as you peer at him. âEd?â You ask, the sensitivity of your puffy lips causing your thighs to quiver a little bit. âWh-what are you doing?â
His tongue leaves your cunt for only half a second. ââM not done yet.â Itâs warbled, his hot breath right against you eliciting another whimper.
Your head falls hopelessly against the van floor, his thumb contacting your clit and tongue swirling against your walls, moaning into your pussy. As youâre still sensitive, the second orgasm starts brewing in your tummy quickly. âEddie, itâs too much.â You say, attempting to squiggle your hips away from his relentless tongue. âToo-too much.â
âMmm, âcan do it.â He mumbles, doubling down on his pattern.
âEdâŠEddie!â You cum into his mouth, your torso involuntarily tensed as you raised, incoherent sounds leaving your lips as you wither beneath him.
As your thighs relax again, he licks a last few times, as if trying to collect all the slick covering your pussy. After one last time, he looks up to you, licking his lips as you recollect yourself. âWas that ok?â He asks, breathing heavily and sweating as if he just ran a marathon.
You give him a look of disbelief, eyes furrowing as you shake your head. âWasâŠwas that okay?â You repeat back to him in astonishment. âEddie that wasâŠI-I it was⊠I donât know who taught you to do that, but it wasnât me, Jesus!â
He crawls up to you, smile on his face gloriously cocky. âYeah?â
âUh huh!â You confirm, your voice indicating that youâre stating the obvious.
âBeen wanting to do that for a while,â he says, mouth just hovering over yours.
âWhat a coincidence, been wanting you to do that for a while.â You smirk, switching your glance between his hypnotising eyes and his glossy pink lips. He finally leans in for a kiss, tongue reaching out to meet yours in a dance of straight up pleasure. âEdâŠâ You whine, bunching up the wet muscle shirt heâs wearing in your fists.
âHmm?â He asks, slowly kissing you.
âI wanna help you.â You sheepishly admit, feeling your cheeks heat up. âPlease?â
âHelp?â Eddie asks, feigning ignorance in the meaning of your request.
âI wanna suck your cock, please, Eddie.â
Eddie lets out a laugh in incredulity. âHoly shit, please.â Itâs damn near a whine, music to your ears.
You giggle in response, finally the shoe on the other foot as you get to now hear those moans as a result of what you do to him, and not through his bathroom door. Experimentally, you reach down, feeling at the tent youâve felt brush against your thigh as you made out with him. At the mere brush of your hand on the outline of his cock, he moans, and you bite your lip in anticipation.
One leg bends, using it to push and get him onto his back. You sit up, straddling him as you assess his astonished expression. As soon as you sit up, however, you notice the twitch of his cock right under your pussy. Your breath stutters at it, not realizing your bodies would line up this well. As if your brain knows what to do before even you do, your hips start rutting against him, alluring a moan in sync from the two of you.
âOh my god,â Eddie whimpers, eyes rolling in the back of his head. If you could, youâd take a picture of him.
You giggle, attempting some ounce of self-discipline as you start to crawl down his body, already missing the twitch of his dick against your bare pussy. If just his dick against you feels this good, you wonder how great he would feel inside you, and you almost run out of patience.
No. You want this power: to be on your knees as he moans for you. Show some fucking discipline.
Your hands fumble as you undo the button on his jeans and Eddie lifts his hips as you move them down his legs. You want to tease him over his thin boxers, but the anticipation is too much, the need of the weight of what appears to be his thick cock on your tongue too great. You tug down his boxers, his cock popping out deliciously.
The look of pure lust you saw on Eddie is essentially copy and pasted onto you, your eyes darkening as you take in his length for the first time.
âUh, baby?â He asks, watching as youâre stuck in some sort of trance.
âSo pretty.â You mumble to the pink head, precum already pearling at the slit. Your tongue darts out, wanting a taste of the salt dressing it. You sigh in satisfaction, eyes closing as you wrap your hand around the base. Tentatively, you wrap your lips around the head, sucking gently.
âWhat a good mouth, oh my god.â He babbles, hands in his own hair in a haze.
If you could, youâd smile. Only knowing from a magazine with blowjob tips, you start to move your mouth up and down his length, barely able to take in half of it. Your mouth sucks harshly on him, moaning around him as slobber starts to gather at the base. As a way to get the spit off your hand, you rub it on to his cock almost in exact time as you continue sucking.
âBaby, baby, do that again.â He whines, his gasps audible. You follow his request immediately, moving your hand in tandem with your mouth. âJust like that, so good, thank-thank you.â
A sense of pride hits you, increasing your speed as his legs start to move aimlessly around under you. Your jaw starts to become sore, so you decide to experiment some more. You give one long lick from base to tip, chasing a vein that travels around his cock. At the skin around his base, you suck lightly, giggling as he lets out a deep moan. You recall one tip telling you not to neglect the balls, so you travel down to one, sucking on the ribbed skin empirically.
âFuckâIââ Eddie stutters out between loud gasps of pleasure, eyes closed.
You lick under it, trying to get every inch of skin as your hand absentmindedly strokes him. Your tongue goes back for his now leakier tip, engulfing his cock to the furthest of the back of your throat you possibly can, your gag reflex choking on him.
âChoke on that fat cock, baby, fucking choke on it!â
His stern tone surprises you, yet still turns you on as you continue the choking, now on purpose. You slobber all over his cock, one hand travelling up to hold his hand.
âFuck, baby, Iâm so fucking closeâŠâ You double down on every action, his hand squeezing the life out of yours. âGonna cum down your throatâŠfuckââ
Eddie lets out the greatest moan of all time, a salty thick substance shooting down your throat as you swallow it easily. You barely have a chance to taste it, too much coming too fast to keep track, attempting to swallow it all. His cock finally stops twitching in your mouth, and as your mouth leaves him, you leave a final sweet kiss on the bright red tip.
As you lift your head to assess him, you see the obvious way his chest breathes in and out, catching his breath. You bite your lip as his eyes stay closed, palm on his forehead as he recovers. âOh my god.â
âYeah?â You ask, having never given head before.
âUh, yeah!â He says as if heâs stating the obvious, falling back on the blanket. âMere.â He sits back up, grabbing you at the shirt and putting his lips on yours. You moan into his mouth, panting happily as his tongue makes contact with yours. âFuck, did you swallow?â He asks, fabric of your thin tank top lifted by his hand on your bare skin.
âMmhmm!â You confirm, giggling as he lets out a sigh of contentment.
Eddie lifts your shirt off, the light-yellow fabric see through from the rain. He throws it across the van, moving you onto your back with his hand supporting the small of it. As he lies down alongside you, mouth slowly moving against yours and a hand trails along your skin, setting it on fire, yet goosebumps appear on your skin in its wake. His hand reaches its destination, travelling under the wire of your bra and starting to play with your peaked nipple.
You whimper into his mouth as he plays with it, tugging on it and sending pleasure down your spine. Your hands leave from where they were stationed on his shoulders to your skirt, trying to move it down your hips. âNo, no, let me.â Eddie laughs, his hand leaving your nipple and replacing your hands on your skirt.
He tugs both your skirt and panties down off your legs, moving down the length as he gets them off your feet. You giggle and take off your shoes with it, watching as Eddie finishes taking off his pants and shoes as well.
Eddie lands back between your legs, his eyes hungry, making you feel vulnerable. A single hand, ever ambitious, moves around your back to take your bra off. To your surprise, he takes it off single handedly, the bra snapping off your back as a cheshire grin of satisfaction makes its way onto Eddie's lips. Finally, you move your hands around his back to help him take off his muscle shirt, admiring as each tattoo is revealed, finally allowed to ogle him.
You bite your lip, admiring him in the low light of the van. Eddie falters for a second, gulping. âIâŠI donât have a condom.â He admits sheepishly.
You giggle, smiling at him happily. âI donât care about that, I just need you to fuck me, Ed.â
He smiles, leaning in for a sweet, lush kiss. âIâŠI have to tell you something.â He sighs, on all fours as he hovers over you.
Your stomach swoops nervously. âUmâŠokay.â
He lines himself up, the tip slight pressure against your hole. âOkay?â
You nod, now confused. Wasnât he going to tell you someth-oh my god. He slowly enters you, the pain over taking the pleasure, but the feeling still phenomenal.
âSo tight.â He grunts, arms still straight as he waits for you to adjust.
It starts to feel overwhelmingly better, Eddie pulsing inside you, you can feel every inch against your walls. âMore.â You plead.
Eddie pushes in a bit more, a high whine leaving your lips. âYouâre doing so well, baby, taking this big fat cock.â
âCock feelsâŠso goodâŠâ You sigh, eyes closing on their own accord. âDidnâtâŠdidnât you have something to say?â
He laughs, his cock twitching in tandem. âI doâŠâ
âYouâre inside me, and youâre still a tease?â You ask, humming as it turns to pleasure again. âMore.â
Eddie pushes in a little bit more, licking his lips as he takes in your pleasure-stricken face. âA tease, eh?â He asks, wondering what you meant.
âWalking in with your chest still wetââ you whine, interrupting yourself, âthe cut off sleeves you wear, mast-masturbating in the showerâŠmore.â
âJust a little bit more baby.â You donât know how he could be any deeper, youâre pretty sure heâs already at your cervix. âWaitâŠyou heard me in the shower?â
You huff a breath of laughter, tightening around him. âMmhmm. Sounded so fucking hot, I mightâve touched myself in your bed when I heard it.â
Eddie moves in a final time without your say-so, and you moan in surprise. âSorry, baby, you justâyou just took me by surprise. You touched yourself in my bed? When I was in the shower?â
âOnly because I could hear you.â You admit, your legs wrapping around his hips, pulling him closer to you.
âYou could hear me? I was so sure I was being quiet.â He admits, his breath hot against your skin as he lies directly against you.
âNot really.â You admit, biting your lip in embarrassment. âIt was so fucking hot, Ed.â
Eddie sighs, peppering kisses against your skin. âWell, I was thinking of you and those thin pjs you wear, sweetheart, so I guess it was a mutual masturbation.â
âI wondered if that was working.â You admit, humour in your voice. Eddie shakes his head, everything suddenly making sense. He kisses you deeply, hips still stagnant as he allows you to get used to his girth.
âSo, you had something you wanted to tell me, Eddie?â You ask, slowly caressing the side of his torso, lightly tracing the tattoos you come in contact with.
âMmhm.â He hums, leaning down to kiss skin gently, any skin he could reach. âThanks for remembering.â
You roll your eyes, starting to get antsy at his still hips. âJust tell me.â
âIâm telling you this, because it broke me to see your reaction after you thought I even liked someone else.â The heartache seems so far away now, especially since heâs currently balls deep inside you. âI donât just like you, sweetheart.â He admits, his voice suddenly soft and sweet. âIâm in love with you. I have been in love with you for as long as Iâve known you, at least, I thinkâŠI donât know. But I donât want anyone else, never have, baby. I just. Want.â Unexpectedly, he lifts his lips, pulling a gasp. âYou.â He bucks his hips once for emphasis, taking in the already fucked out look on your face as you take in everything he just gave you.
âReally?â You ask in a light whisper, breathing heavily. âYou-you love me?â
âMmhmm.â He affirms, his hips bucking out slowly yet again.
âI-I love you too, Ed.â You admit, your heart open and full, every part of you, full, as he slowly fucks into you.
The words take a minute to register, his hips stilling completely. Itâs such a tease, the way his hips still after only mere seconds of starting their trek. You whimper as an answer, your hips lifting to silently request that heâd continue. âEd?â
âOh my godâŠâ he mutters, slowly lapping his way down your neck. âIâm so crazy for you, baby, so fucking insane.â
âCanâŠyou please move?â You request politely, legs tense at his hips as your cunt begs for more attention.
âNeed this fat cock to fuck you good, donât you, baby?â He manages out, voice with a hint of husk in it as he continues to kiss his way down your body. The dip of your collarbone, valley of your tits, biting at the areola, licking dirtily along the curve of your breastâŠas far as he could go without his cock leaving you. âHmm? Just desperate for it, arenât you?â
One side of you wants to ask him where he's come up with this, because itâs driving you absolutely wild. The other side doesnât fucking care where he got it from, the pleasure from his delicate licks consuming you whole. At a loss for words, you nod your head.
He grunts as he bucks himself into you, this one harder than the last. âOh? Canât use your words, baby?â
You whine, feeling pathetic, and yet, ravishing in it. âI just want you to rail me, please, please, Eddie.â
âYeah?â He asks, turning his lips into your neck again, muttering against your throat. âHow bad?â
âEnough to think about youâ you huff, heat floating to your cheeks, hesitant in saying it. Could he justâŠkeep moving? Please?
His teeth graze your ear, nipping at it. âWanna finish that sentence, love?â Eddie asks, his voice making your thighs clench together around his hips.
âEddie, I've thought about you everytime I fucked my pussy with my fingers. Iâve thought about you fucking me more times than I can count.â
âOh, sweetheart, you donât know how many times Iâve fucked my fist praying one day it would be youâŠwhimpering and whining for me.â
âThen turn me into a fucking mess, Ed. Please.â
Finally, his lips leave your throat and he looks at you, his grin manic as those adorable dimples finally give you that look youâve been craving for what feels like eons at this point. His hips move into action, fucking you at a force that pulls feral grunts out of your mouth, sounds you didnât even know you had the capability of making.
âBaby, your pussy is so tight, just pulling me in.â He grunts, one hand curling its way into your hair, pulling lightly at the roots.
âEddie, your cock feels so fucking good. Fuckingâkeep goingâoh my god.â
Eddie is torn between moaning, grunting, and thoughts that are never finished. His hand, nimble and huge, trails up and down your torso, your legs, touching every inch he can. Finally, two of his fingers make their way to your clit, rubbing it with fervour. Your pussy clenches around his length as he continually bucks into you, the mix of sensations too much, and yet, everything youâve ever wanted from him.
âEddie, can you please do something for me?â You ask, reaching out to hold his face with both hands and giving him a sweet kiss.
He sighs into your kiss, tongue connecting with yours, and you feel dizzy and high in pleasure. âAnything, angel.â
âWant you to call me a slut.â
He leans in for another kiss, much dirtier and much needier. His hips rut into yours desperately. âYeah? Dunno if youâve really earned itâŠâ he comments, teasing you.
You donât realize heâs egging you on, desperate for him in ways you didnât think you could be. Your mind goes to the thing it was fixated on when Eddie once held your face, hands petting two fingers absentmindedly. You grab at the same two fingers, nimble and long, and place them in your mouth, sucking as you wrap your tongue around them.
Eddieâs mouth opens, jaw slack as his tongue pokes out. A shine appears in his eyes, glazing over as they fixate on your mouth. Your mind mightâve been tricking you, but you swear his dick twitches inside you. His hips have stoppedâŠagain. âOh shit, my dirty little slut.â
You nod your head enthusiastically, rutting your hips up again, silently begging for more. You moan around him, eyes hooded, Eddie blurring in your vision from the steep want. Your teeth graze his fingers lightly, lapping your tongue over it when he whines. Around his fingers you choke, your mouth hot and wet. Your mouth leaves his fingers for a moment, light shining in the spit glazing your mouth. âBaby I need you to fuck me. Please, Ed. Please.â
âListen to this little slut beg for it. Can you beg some more? Hm? See that pretty little mouth beg, just for me.â His low rumble only spurring you on further.
Eddie knows you love what that husky voice is saying as your pussy pulses around him. âHmm. Eddie, please, please fuck me. Need that cock so fucking bad. You have no idea how much you turn me on, your rings, your arms, fuck, that pretty fucking mouth, those gorgeous eyes, oh my fucking god. I have needed you to fuck me for this last year, please, Ed, just rail me until I canât think.â
Your chest is heaving, eyes slowly assessing Eddieâs reaction. A smile slowly creeps on his face, until itâs a smirk that sends a shiver right through you. Your eyes dart back and forth between his, anticipating his next move, biting your lip. The first thing he does is lean down to give you a kiss, that can simply be described as romantic. His tongue reaches out to connect with yours, gliding together in a dance that you donât think youâll ever get over.
Honestly, you think, if his kiss ever bores you, the person to your left better beat your ass for taking for granted how fantastic these lips are.
After a moment of just his lips on yours, lying together so unified, you arenât sure where he stops and you begin. Slowly, his kisses move from your lips, down the dip of your neck, and he licks slowly up to your ear. âHmm. Fuck you until you canât think? Baby, Iâm gonna fuck you stupid.â
A moan leaves your throat, a hint of a whimper. His lips curl up more against your ear, a light laugh huffing against it.
Then, his hips get to work.
Every goddamn time Eddie stopped, every time he made you beg for him to keep going, whether it be silent or verbal, he makes up for it tenfold as soon as his hips start moving. He pushes up, using his hands to lift his body up and start fucking you at a relentless pace. Slowly, you recognize an annoying squeak fades in the background, the sound of the axel against his differential from his hips bucking wonderfully.
Not a word leaves your throat, the only sounds are small gasps falling from your lips, faster and faster as the pleasure impossibly grows within you. It feels like an aura of heat, radiating from your full pussy, and throughout your body.
âFeel good, baby? Feel that fat cock fucking you, good and full?â He grunts out from between gritted teeth.
You nod, whines leaving your throat, one shock at a time.
His hand on your hip tightens, nails digging into the doughy skin of your ass. âHey, slut. I asked you a fucking question.â
âSo goodâŠso goodâŠso fucking goodâŠso fucking good. Ed-EddieâŠIââ Youâre cut off by your own shout, the way he hits hard, and deep, impossibly harder.
âLook at my cock-drunk little slut, taking this cock so well.â He mutters, voice deep and gasping for air. âFuck, feels so good.â
Your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him so his forehead lands on yours, harshly, but in a way that makes him gruntâŠalmostâŠanimalisticâŠ
âCumâŠcum in meâŠâ itâs a struggle to get out, but once it does, you witness Eddie falter for just a second.
âR-really?â
âPlease, please cum in me. Want it dripping out of me, please baby.â
His hand stutters in its movements, sliding up from your hips, to your neck, hands gently raising on the front. âWant me to cum in you?â
âYes! Yes!â
âWant me to claim you as yours?â
âBeenâŠbeen yours since I sat down atâahâyour table, Ed.â
âThatâs fucking right, you have, youâre all fuckingâall fucking mine.â
His hip movements are a little more jagged, his breathing heavy and jagged. âHarder.â
He chuckles, hand tightening around your throat, a grunt leaving your throat at each fucking hit. âFuckâŠgonnaââ
He cuts himself off, his cum filling you up deliciously in spurts of hot, white, mess. You go over the edge with him, your orgasm hitting you in a way that will have you fucking skipping around the halls of the school. You whine his name, choked out past his ring-necklace wrapped around your neck.
His torso collapses on yours, covered in sweat in the thick of the van.
His hand leaves your neck, both wrapping themselves into your hair. You seem to finally catch your breath, almost gasping as his weight is the most comforting thing youâve ever felt in your life. Heâs laid on you several times before, but never this intimate, his breath mixing with yours, making you feel whole.
You giggle, a smile that takes over your face in every muscle, completely lighting up. As much as you try, you canât hold it in. It floats down your face and into your body, every limb full of complete joy. Eddie twists his head into your neck, you feel the wide smile he makes, gorgeous laughter leaving his lips against you. His teeth nip at your neck, making you giggle harder, hands flying up to your face.
Eddie leans up his face to see yours, the lazy smile lopsided, a pretty shine in his eyes. ItâsâŠnewâŠand radiant. You giggle again as you look up at him, your hands landing on each side of his rosy, glowing, cheeks. His skin is hot and flushed, your thumbs slowly caressing his face.
He leans in for another kiss, gentle this time, making you feel all too dizzy. A sigh of utter contentment leaves your mouth, biting your lips anxiously. âHi, love.â He mutters, a lithe finger moving a strand of hair that fell into your eye. âDoinâ good?â
You nod, shyly rubbing your head into his chest. âVery good.â
He laughs, tilting his head up to face the roof of the van, still sheltering you from the sturdy and never-ending rain. âFuck, rain hasnât stopped.â
âItâs pretty.â You comment, observing the pattern of the roof his van. âI love the sound.â
He hums, eyes raking you over as he leans into you. âNot as good as the sounds you make.â
You roll your eyes, hitting his arm gently. âEddie.â You giggle, legs wrapping themselves around him. âWhat a line.â
His lips softly land on your cheek, giving you a final kiss. âNot a line, just the truth.â He whispers, hands now preparing himself to lift out of you.
âWait.â You stop him, holding on to one of those strong arms of his. âIâI really donât want you to leave yet, baby.â
A laugh escapes his throat, in utter disbelief if anything. âOh, we have plenty of time for cock-warming, gorgeous, donât you fucking worry.â He assures you. âI just thought we could go to my house, make out and watch a movie, ya know?â
âMmhmm.â You answer, still moaning at the loss that was too much to handle. âI just wanted toâŠrevel in it.â
âOh, I love you so fucking much.â He sighs, grinning at you as he crawls to his clothes.
You lean up into your elbows, a symphony of giggles leaving your throat as he tosses your panties into your face. âCan we make out on your couch?â
âWhatever you want, baby.â Eddie tells you, curly hair thatâs already frazzled from the humidity even crazier from the tryst. âHell, you can ride me, letâs get out of his van before we both catch a cold.â
You put on the skirt he hands to you. âBoth?â
âYep.â He nods, also throwing his jacket. âYou walked a mile in the pouring rain with no jacket on. Youâre gonna be a mess this weekend.â
Nodding, you agree with him. âI mean Iâll be a mess either way, no?â
Eddie shakes his head as he puts on his shirt, giving you a look youâve been dying for him to shoot you. As if heâs so lucky to have caught you.
Heâs wrong, youâre the lucky one. The two of you finally finish getting dressed, meeting in the middle in your cold, wet clothes. You crawl into his arms, nuzzling his chest as he places a kiss on your damp hair. âCâmon, letâs figure out how far we can get into Halloween before ripping each otherâs clothes off again.â
You giggle, climbing into the passenger seat. If it was up to you, the tape wouldnât even make it into the VCR.
Your hand intertwines with his on the way there, your whole body relaxing into the fabric seats. He canât keep his eyes on the road, glancing at you every five seconds. Itâs hard to believe only twelve hours ago you were in bed cocooned because your heart was aching so badly.
Now your heart aches in a completely different way, and itâs from not being able to comprehend that you could love and be loved in return just as much.
The next morning, Wayne walks into his trailer to see clothes scattered along the hall. You didnât even make it to the couch.
-
Thank you so much for reading! I love to read your comments, replies, and reblogs. As always, reblogging is the best way to support your fic writers on tumblr.
Everytime I think that I'm over a certain pairing/character, a story like this will pop up and remind me again of why I loved it so much in the first place.
I asked myself how you can read fanfiction with your family or friends around, I need to stay in my room alone in the dark so I can cry and laugh and giggle with no questions ESPECIALLY WITH THE SMUT HOW YOU CAN DO IT
Any chance he can also have a moment with the omega of his dreams? Maybe a visitor to the school where they have an instant connection. Hmm....
Wait. The visions are floating up! I see... A young substitute teacher... An unruly group of seniors... A need for cleanup/repairs during class... A struggle to remain composed in front of students when that sudden attraction/arousal hits hard as they see one another for the first time...
An inability to resist it until the end of the school day...
...Soul bond? đ
I would be so normal about this đ
okay listen, I know you asked for this like 2 months ago but I had a vision that took me a while to execute lol I hope this is everything you wanted and more!
Red String
alpha!janitor!eddie munson x substitute teacher!omega!reader
cw: SMUT MINORS DNI, omegaverse dynamics, soulmates au, breeding kink, pregnancy, nausea, reader has an established relationship
a/n: holy shit okay. firstly, thank you bluey for sending this ask! second, thank you @take-everything-you-can for betaing @onegirlmanytales, thirdly, tagging @xxhellfiregirlxx and @boomhauer bc I know y'all have been WAITING for this. And fourthly, just know this takes place in the Fever Pitch universe
wc:9.9k
omegaverse terms to know
Five days.
Itâs only been five days since you started your newest substitute teaching job at Hawkins High School.
Well, scratch that. Itâs only second period, so you can really only say itâs been four days, barely 9 am even, but itâs already been just as hellish as the rest of the week.
Monday started with you not being able to find a parking spot, having to park down the road and run into class. Turns out you were trying to park in student parking and werenât aware of the back lot for the teachers to park in.Â
Tuesday you dumped your coffee that you waited way too long in line for all over your notes from the teacher you were subbing for. Thankfully it was only the current week's curriculum and you were able to decipher the notes enough to get the jist of what you needed to be doing, but it was still a pain in the ass.
Wednesday your tire went flat on the way to work. Thankfully one of the other teachers, Mr.Harrington, just happened to be driving by and gave you a ride the rest of the way. You were able to call a tow truck to take your car to a nearby body shop that you walked to after work. Youâre pretty sure the guy overcharged you for the tire but you were too exhausted to argue.
Thursday, oh Thursday, your students in your second period class decided that they werenât going to take you seriously, making rude noises and disrupting class with unrelated questions, and randomly scenting just to get under your skin. This period was heavy with new alphas, and if you hadnât been warned ahead of time, you could tell by the way they all behaved. The teacher you were subbing for was able to reign them all in somehow, but you were struggling with getting them to listen to anything you had to say.
So, naturally, this would be the class that would see your Friday turn into the worst day of the week so far.Â
There was only 10 minutes left in the class. There had been some rowdiness, but not nearly as bad as the day before. You were so close to moving on to your easier classes of the day when a water pipe decided to burst directly above you, breaking the ceiling tile and completely drenching you in cold water.Â
Everything was still for a single beat, until the silence was cut by the boisterous laughter of the 22 seniors who watched the incident happen in real time. After the initial shock, you yelled at them to be quiet, more stern than youâve ever been in your life, and told them to read the chapter on their own while you called the office.
As you turned to go to your desk, you caught your reflection in the window and were instantly reminded that you were wearing a white shirt today, the deep magenta of your bra very visible now due to the state of your top.Â
Embarrassment is one thing, but when you remember the morning you had, it just pisses you off more than anything. You had initially put on a blue top when you woke up this morning, but, on top of everything else you were dealing with this week, you were also having to take care of your fiance, Dave, during his rut as well, which was a job all on its own.Â
He insisted that he wouldnât be able to wait for you to get home with the pain he was in, so you let him get in a quickie while you were brushing your teeth. He also refused to wear a condom, telling you the pain would subside for longer if he could feel you. But, you werenât falling for his tricks, and as soon as you felt his knot starting to swell you pulled away from him, ending up with his spend all over the back of your shirt.
Which led you to now, where you sit at your desk with your head down and your arms crossed over your chest trying to hold back tears as you wait for the maintenance guy to come look at the ceiling. You could hear the snickering and teasing whispers from your students but were too defeated to tell them to do their work. Only when you got a faint smell of cinnamon spice and warm smoke did you finally speak up.
âWhoever is scenting right now, knock it off before I write you up.â
Low murmuring and a voice quietly saying âit wasnât meâ to another student's accusation were the only response you received. But the smell only got stronger.Â
Stronger to the point where you felt your body shiver for a moment. It made your body heat up in a way you havenât felt in a while, your thighs rubbing together subtly under your desk.Â
You lifted your head to yell at your students again, but was interrupted by a knock on the classroom door before you could speak. The scent was so strong now that there was no way it was from an immature alpha. that you felt dizzy when you turned your head to see who was entering your classroom.
As your vision settled on the figure before you, you felt like your breath had been knocked out of you. A tall man with beautiful curly brown hair and big, brown eyes took a few steps into the classroom. He was silent, gawking at you in the same way you must be looking at him.Â
âH-hi, Iâm Eddie,â he stuttered, being the first to speak once the giggling from the students brought him back to reality. When you hear his name for the first time, you swear you can hear bells ringing in the distance.
 âIâm here to check your pipes.â Another round of laughter fills the room, causing you to run your hands over your face and down to the back of your neck.Â
âGuys, pleaseââ
âThatâs enough.â
The scent surrounding you peaks as a weight falls over the room. The students fall silent, but your head reels as you feel your body heat up. It felt like the beginning of your heat, but it was nowhere close to being due thanks to your suppressants.Â
After a beat, the tension was interrupted by the sound of the bell. And just as quickly as it came, the thick hold on the room was gone. Your students quickly grabbed their things and exited the room without a word.
You fan yourself as you feel the fever begin to dissipate. Eddie walks over to your side, concern sewed into his features as his eyes searched your face.
âAre you okay? I didnât think I had scented so stronglyâŠâ
âGosh, yes, Iâm sorry,â you say, shaking your head to get back into your professional mindset. âIâm fine, just a little stressed.â You introduce yourself to him, extending a hand to him out of habit. You see his eyes go wide before darting to the side, his cheeks tinted pink.
You suddenly remember the state of your attire and quickly curl into yourself again, spewing apologies in an attempt to save any respect that he may have for you.
âHey, itâs cool,â he laughs your embarrassment off, eyes still on anything other than you. âDo you, uh, want something to wear over that?â Heâs pointing over his shoulder, taking a few steps back towards the door. Before you can really respond, heâs gone, almost running into a group of students as they begin to fill your class for the next period.Â
As your third period class enters, you tell the students to take their seats until you can figure out how class is going to go. A few minutes later, Eddie returns with his hands full and pushes a mop bucket into the room. He places a wet floor sign in the middle of the room to free his hands before heâs handing you a black sweater. You thank him quietly when you take it, vision drawn to the chunky silver rings on hisâŠreally thick fingers.
You pull the sweater over your head and are immediately dizzy with the strong smell from before, mixed with a faint smell of cigarettes and sweat in the collar. The well worn sweater with frayed cuffs was soft and warm, the Metallica logo in dark gray letters displayed across the front covers your shame, allowing you to finally leave your desk.
As you rise to your feet, you catch the way Eddie is staring at you out of the corner of your eye. Was he thinking about your wet shirt under his sweater? Why do you hope that he is?
âThank you,â you say, subconsciously pulling the fabric to your nose for a moment. Eddie stares at you for a moment, sucking in a deep breath of air before nodding wordlessly.
âYeah, no, uh, no problem,â he murmurs, breathing out with a huff, a small smile tugging on his lips. The second bell rings to signal the start of the next period, making Eddie jump and look around. âOh, yeah, um, when is your free period?â
âNot until fifth period.â
âOkay,â he says, bouncing his head as he looks at the water still puddled on the floor. âDo you want me to mop this up now, or do it when I come back? I donât want to interrupt your class.â
âThatâs okay,â you say with a wave of the hand, âMy next two classes are taking a test today. So as long as youâre not giving them any answers, you wonât be a problem.â
Eddie nods and gets to work, doing his best to stay out of your way while you get through your two classes. You do your best not to let yourself be distracted by him, keeping busy with grading papers and prepping your chalkboard for your last classes of the day. Youâd be lying if you said that you didnât take little glances at him as he worked. Maybe you noticed the way the sleeves of his shirt hugged his biceps when he carried his ladder in between classes. Maybe you let yourself indulge in the flash of his toned stomach when he lifted his shirt briefly to wipe his brow. Maybe you stared at his ass while he picked up the broken ceiling tile pieces off the floor.Â
In the back of your mind you knew you shouldnât be looking, especially when you have a fiance waiting for you back home. Youâre not even the type of person to ogle someone the way you are right now.Â
But something about Eddieâs presence was making you feelâŠdifferent. Domestic. Like there was a misplaced pride in his ability to do his own job. You wanted to praise him for being a big strong alphaâyour big strong alpha.
One of your students hesitates at your desk as she drops off her test, pulling you out of your fantasy. Sheâs one of the more quiet students, so you ask her if she needs anything as she continues to hover next to you.Â
âUm,â she pauses for a moment, looking over at Eddie just as he walks out of the room. She says your name quietly, leaning in a bit to whisper, âAre you and Mr.Eddie dating?â
You pull your bottom lip between your teeth to suppress the laugh that naturally pulled from your chest at the question.Â
âNo, we are not,â you answer. You tilt your head inquisitively, âWhy do you ask?â
âBecause youâre wearing his sweater. Usually people wear their boyfriends sweaters when theyâre datingâŠâshe comments as she points at the offending garment.
You smile at her, âIâm just borrowing it. Iâll be giving it back at the end of the day.â
Sheâs quiet for a moment, and you think that maybe the answer was enough for her. But she leans in to whisper again, âBut why has he been staring at you all of class?â
A warm feeling washes over your chest at her words. Has he been keeping an eye on you? How did you not notice? Was he just keeping an eye on you or was he checking you out?
Before you could answer her, Eddie walks back into the room and your student hurriedly made her way back to her desk. You canât help but watch him as he adjusts the tool belt that sets on his hips, a screwdriver being held between his lips as he does. As he grabs it from his mouth, you catch him looking at you for the first time. You wait for him to shy away like he did before, but instead he winks at youâfucking winks at you, before making his way back up the ladder.
The butterflies you felt in your tummy make you feel like a teen again. You donât even know who you are right now. Have you just been so miserable in your current relationship for so long that youâre just happy to have another alphaâs attention? That canât be, because you hate the attention that other alphas give you when youâre out on your own.
Youâre not sure what it is, but as your classes end and your free period rolls in, you ask him if he wants to eat his lunch with you, giddy when he agrees.
âIs that seriously all youâre eating?â
Eddie pulled his ladder up to your desk and sat on one of the steps with a single large can of snack pretzels in one hand and a can of off brand cola in the other. He looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights as you scold him for not bringing more to eat.
âHere,â you hand him a container of some leftover mac and cheese you made from the night before, âeat this please. I think I have a granola bar in my bag, too.â
âWoah, there, sweetheart,â he laughs as you start rifling through your bag. âI donât need you to feed me. This has been my lunch since I was in middle school, so Iâm set.â
You frown at him, not satisfied with the lackluster lunch he wanted to partake in. âWhat if I made you a lunch? Would you eat it?â
The rosy tint dusts his cheeks once again. A toothy grin spreads across his face as he gives you a shy side eye.
âI mean, I wouldnât want your food to go to waste, but you really donât have to worry about me.â
Wrong. The more youâre around him, the more you feel like you need to dote on him. You want to touch him, put your head on his shoulder, hold his hand. You want to go home with him and cook him dinner and wash his hair and have him hold you while the two of you sleep side by side in your shared bed. Every sweet word he says to you pulls you in like a fly to honey.
And when your hand accidentally brushes his, you both take in a deep breath at the same time, and you know he felt the same surge through his body as you. His gaze meets yours, chests raising and falling in anticipation as the two of you wait for the other to say somethingâdo something.
But something doesnât come, because the bell ringing once again makes the both of you jump, not realizing how close the two of you had gotten. Eddie jumps up from his seat on the ladder, grabbing his pitiful lunch and booking it out the door.
His sudden absence makes you sad, missing him more than you reasonably should. And as you sit alone, with the shuffling of feet outside your classroom creating a white noise that lets you slip into your mind, you canât help but think about your life with David.Â
Heâs supposed to be your alpha. The one youâve been with since high school since you both presented around the same time. Heâs the only person youâve ever been with, never really desiring anyone else but him before. He works a good job, bought a house for the both of you, and wants to have a family with you, the latter being the only thing the two of you never agreed on, not wanting kids despite the natural instincts of your second gender.
But, as you think about the man you laid eyes on this morning, who has made you feel more in the 4 total hours that youâve known him than youâve felt in the last decade with David, you think youâd give everything you have up to be with him. It scares the shit out of you to feel that way. Itâs as if something has taken over your brain and completely rewired it to be all about Eddie.Â
Maybe the afternoon away from him would give you time to clear your head. Putting all your mental effort into your remaining senior classes, you manage to keep your mind occupied for the most part. You swear that you can smell his scent every once in a while, but convince yourself that youâre just imagining it.Â
As the final bell rings for the day, you plop down in your chair and just let yourself decompress. You begin to think maybe this job was something that was more than youâd be able to handle, that youâd bitten off more than you could chew. Youâd been subbing for a year now, but this was the first time youâd ever been this overwhelmed after just a week. You could always go and talk to the principal now and let them know you wouldnât be back on Monday. Someone else could deal withâ
Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. You roll your head to the side to find Eddie in your classroom's doorway once again.Â
âCome to finish the job?â You ask tiredly.
âThatâs one of the things Iâm here for,â Eddie says with a nervous chuckle.
He takes long strides to your side, his hands in his pockets as his feet shuffle beneath him.Â
âEverything okay?â
âYeah, yeah, I justâŠI just wanted to know if, maybe, youâd like to go out with me sometime?â
 Youâre completely caught off guard by his request. A warmth blooms in your chest before promptly sinking into your stomach, forming into a solid rock of guilt and confusion.Â
âIâŠIâm sorry Eddie, I canât.â You should probably put more effort into sounding sincere rather than disappointed. But your heart was truly distraught at having to turn him down.Â
âOh, yeah, no, itâs cool,â he stutters, trying to play it cool as he takes in your rejection. âI didnât mean toâI mean, I just, um, I just thought we had some chemistry or somethingâŠâ
âWell, you wouldnât be the only one who thought that. But, I have a boyfriendâ a fiance, rather, and Iââ
âHey, itâs cool, I understand,â he waves you off as he takes hurried steps backwards towards the door. âJust forget I asked. Um, Iâll see you around I guess.â He gives you a weak smile before backing out of the classroom and into the hall again.Â
âYeah, see you around,â you mutter to yourself.Â
Before you could even fully turn the lock on your front door it was being yanked open, David standing on the other side of the door panting like he had just run a marathon. Without warning, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you inside of your shared home and something immediately feels off.Â
The first thing you notice as you cross the threshold is that you canât smell anything. The house has smelled like nothing but Davidâs musk since his rut started on Sunday, but now it just smells like your normal house. It doesnât make sense, because heâs clearly going through it just as he was this morning.Â
Davidâs nose scrunches when he finally gets close to you, almost immediately stumbling back against the wall to get as far away from you as possible.Â
âWhat the fuck?â He scowls, looking you up and down with wild eyes. âWhat the hell are you wearing?â
Oh fuck.Â
You were still wearing Eddieâs sweater.Â
âOh my god, Iâm so sorry,â you say as you scramble to pull the sweater off, sneaking one last inhale as it lifts over your head. âI had an incident at school and one of my coworkers let me borrow his sweater.â
âYou took clothes from another alpha?â Davidâs voice was uncharacteristically stern, likely from the adrenaline of his rut. Heâd never been an angry man, even with his natural alpha tendencies, but the way he was looking at you right now made you feel real fear.Â
âI needed something to cover myselfââ
âYou fucking reek,â he says hand flying over his nose to shield himself from the lingering smell of Eddie.Â
The fear quickly turns into annoyance at his insult. You werenât about to deal with this attitude he was giving you, so you rolled your eyes and pushed past him, making your way straight to the bathroom to get cleaned up.Â
After taking your sweet time to wash away the stress of the day, you emerge from the bathroom feeling refreshed. Youâre surprised to see David sitting on the edge of the bed, face buried in his hands only to run them through his hair as you enter the bedroom.Â
âIâm sorry,â is the first thing he blurts out, âI shouldnât have acted like that.â You can tell heâs being genuine, and you canât help but feel bad yourself. âI just, with the rut and everything, it makes me feel like the hulk when any little thing sets me off. And Iâve been feeling like shit all day while you were gone, so when you came home smelling like another alphaâŠâ
âShhh, itâs okay,â you coo as you take his face in your hands, the warmth of his fever hot against your palms. âI didnât think about how it would have bothered you. I was going to give him the sweater back at the end of the day butââÂ
Thoughts of your day spent with Eddie floods back into your mind. The way that his presence made you feel whole, like a part of you that was missing all these years had appeared right in front of you and changed how you think about everything. It makes you realize that the sympathy youâre having for your fiance right now isnât out of love, or guilt that you may have betrayed him.Â
Rather, you feel as if youâre tending to a child thatâs fallen on the playground. Itâs nothing more than your natural instinct to nurture, to protect. Even more so, you realize itâs not love.Â
âButâŠsomething came up and he left before I could give it back.â
He nods his head in your hands, letting out a small okay. You feel him pull at your hips, bringing you closer for him to rest his head on your stomach. You run your nails over his scalp, and he lets out little muffled moans against your towel in response.Â
When he looks up at you, his pupils fully dilated and filled with hunger, you let him pull your towel from your body to gather around your feet on the floor.Â
Your back hits the mattress and David is on you moments later. His kisses are soft, his gentle hands touching over all the right places that heâs grown to learn over the years of your relationship.Â
Heâs doing everything right, and yet you canât help the nauseating feeling that curdles in your stomach with each passing second. Everything feels wrong. His touch is like poison, and your body is screaming at you to get as far away from him as possible. But you fight it down in hopes that this feeling will go away.Â
Itâs only when he aligns himself with your entrance that the feeling becomes too much. You pull away from him as quickly as you can and book it straight to the bathroom to empty your stomach contents into the toilet.
The bell rings out just as you finish up with your fourth period class.
âDonât forget your first drafts are due at the beginning of class tomorrow!â You call out as the students collect their things and make their way to the halls.Â
The loud rumbling in your stomach has you quickly taking your seat at your desk, opening the bottom drawer to pull out your lunch. Over the last month youâd come to understand that eating in your classroom was the best option for your sanity, because if any time you left the safety of your room, you were immediately overwhelmed by the scent of Eddie.Â
The two of you had barely talked since you turned him down. You kept trying to return his sweater to him, but it seemed like he was actively avoiding you, even if his scent lingered on everything he touched in the whole school.Â
You felt bad that things had become awkward between the two of you. There was nothing you wanted more than to talk to him. You missed him in a way that you still donât understand.Â
âHey, thereâs cupcakes in the break room if you want one.â Steveâs voice pulls you from your sulking. The mention of sweets has your ears perked.Â
âOooooooh, really? Whatâs the occasion?â You ask as you rise from your seat, excitedly meeting him at the door to walk with him.Â
âTeacher appreciation week,â he says with air quotes. You both roll your eyes, just thankful to be getting something.Â
As you make your way to the break room, the two of you talk about your classes and what your plans are for spring break next week.
âWeâre finishing up the babyâs room,â he says with glee when you ask. âWe picked a really nice green color the other day when we were out. Did I even tell you about that whole ordeal? How we ran into her ex at the department store?â
âWhat? No! What happened?â
You welcomed the distraction of Steveâs story as it helped keep your mind off of Eddie. After a month youâd thought that it wouldnât be so strong, or that maybe youâd get used to it. But every passing day it seems like it gets worse.
Before you could follow Steve passed the threshold of the teachers lounge, Eddieâs scent becomes amplified to the point it stops you in your tracks.Â
âWoah, are you okay?â He asks, taking a step towards you. You hadnât even realized that youâd stopped moving, your arm outstretched against the wall to steady yourself.
âYâyeah IâŠâ You feel yourself sway, a sweat breaking out as your body temperature begins to creep higher. âItâs probably just a hot flash or something,â you say as you fan yourself with your hand, âHad to switch my suppressants recently and they said that feeling hot could be a side effect.â
âShit, let me get you some water or somethingââ
âMove.â
Before you can process whatâs happening, you feel your body being lifted off your feet. When you look up to see who has swept you off your feet, youâre both surprised and relieved to be matching the gaze of two beautiful brown eyes, pupils blown out and almost swallowing their irises whole. You wrap your arms around Eddieâs neck instinctively, burying your face in his neck to inhale his scent. He shutters against you as you exhale into him.
Youâre so overcome by his scent that you didnât notice he had taken off with you until heâs shifting you in his grasp, holding you with one hand as he fumbles with his keys until heâs kicking open the door toâŠa closet?
He locks the door behind him and plops you down in a chair that sits in front of what you presume to be his desk. All around you are shelves of cleaning supplies, tools, and other random supplies that youâd not be surprised to be in possession of a custodian. On the wall behind the desk are a few band posters and a cork board littered with post it notes and work safety sheets.
âI canât do this anymore.âÂ
Eddieâs frustrated statement grabs your attention as he stands in front of you, leaning back on the desk with a hand running through his hair.Â
âAre you, like, punishing me for asking you out? Were you so repulsed by me asking you that youâre punishing me by driving me insane?â
It takes a moment for your brain to properly dissect what heâs asking you, the statement so bewildering to you that you honestly think heâs joking at first. But the hurt look on his face has you shifting forward in your seat, practically on the edge as you look up at him.Â
âEddie, no,â you plead with him, âI donât know what youâre talking about. I wasnât offended at allâŠI donât understand how Iâm punishing you either.â
He scoffs, rolling his eyes before meeting yours, âYouâre joking. Youâre telling me you havenât been scenting around the school to get me worked up? I swear I can still smell you in my clothes when I leave at the end of the day. I figured that since you and Steve have gotten all buddy-buddy that you knew he was mark bonded and wouldnât be able to smell you, so youâd just been freely scenting to fuck with me for the last month.â
âWhat? If anyone has been free scenting itâs you! I try not to leave my classroom if I donât have to because I can smell you everywhere. Every day I have to book it straight to my desk because itâs so strong it makes me dizzy!â
The two of you are quiet for a moment, both huffing after yelling at one another, you still feeling like youâre in a haze in such close proximity to him now. He curses under his breath as he stands, pacing back and forth in front of you as he thinks.
âYouâre making me nervous,â you state as you watch him move in front of you.
He stalls, turning his whole body towards you but keeping his eyes down.Â
âI donât understand,â he grits out, âIâm definitely not scenting, and you said youâre also not scenting, but I swear youâre the only thing that has any sort of effect on me anymore. The smell of my coffee in the morning isnât as strong, the smell of the oil leaking from my van didnât bother me when I fixed it. Hell, I cleaned up puke the other week and your scent made it easier to keep my own lunch down.â
âItâs the same for meâŠâ He looks up at you. âAll the smells, Iâm going through the same thingâŠBut something else has changed for me, too.â You think back over the events of the last month, âI donât know why, but ever since that dayâŠI canât get you off of my mind. These little fantasies run through my head with everything I do. Like when I go to the store, I think about what foods you might like, or when I clean around the house I think about you coming home and telling me that I did a good job. Little things like that, that I never really even thought about with my ex. At least, not in the same way I think about you.â
âEx?â
The tone of his voice has goosebumps running down your arms and legs. The room begins to feel heavy, similar to how it felt that day when he took control over the classroom. It felt like the air was being sucked out of your lungs and replaced with him. And every stride he took towards you felt like a bag of sand dropping on your back until you were struggling to look up at him as he moves in front of you, crouching down to eye level.
âWhat happened, sweetheart?â His voice is smooth like honey, pulling you in with his sweetness in a way that made you feel vulnerable. You couldnât lie to him. Not Eddie.
âI couldnâtâŠhe made me sick,â you start, âEvery time we tried toâŠâ
âTried to what? Use your words.â The mix of his scent and the way he was talking to you was making the heat in your body travel straight to your core.Â
âAnytime we tried to have sex, I would get sick. Even if I wanted toââ
âDid you really want to, though?â His head tilts to the side as he questions you, âOr were you just trying and failing to get me out of your head?â
Your body sways, his words have you feeling dizzy because heâs right. All the sudden your clothes felt too tight, and the room was too hot, and you just wanted those big, strong arms back on your body.Â
âAnswer me.â
âYes.â
âYes what?â
âYes, whenever I was with my ex, I wished it was you. Butâbut, not enough to make me sick. I donât know why, itâs like my body was rejecting him.â
Itâs silent besides your heavy breathing for a moment. Eddie stands once more, towering over you as he places his palm gently on your cheek. You instantly lean into his touch, humming in satisfaction as his leaves gentle caresses on your skin.
âIâm, uh, having the opposite problem,â he says with a hint of embarrassment. âI feel like I canâtâŠsatisfy myself, but Iâm constantly worked up whenever I think about you. Fucking my fist multiple times a day wishing it was your pussy instead.â
His thumb glides across your cheek, landing on your bottom lip and pulling it down before letting it snap back into place. Your lips part slightly in response, an open invitation for his thumb to push its way in, which he gladly accepts. He pushes it as far in as it can go, watching as you hollow your cheeks and suck on the digit before he pulls it out with a pop.Â
âF-f-f-f-fuuuck,â he breathes out through gritted teeth. He grips your cheeks, not too rough, but enough to make your lips pout as he tilts your head back to look up at him.
Eddie searches your face for any signs of discomfort, but is only met with the half lidded, fucked out look your giving him through your lashes, brain completely empty as you wait for him make his next move.
Fireworks erupt under your skin as his chapped lips crash into yours with enough force to push you back in your chair. Every cheesy rom-com that youâve ever watched finally made sense as you felt the electricity light strike in your abdomen and back through every vein in your body. This was what youâd been waiting for in every other kiss that youâve experienced in your life.Â
And, all at once, the sparks peak, before surging straight between your legs, a wave of slick gushing from you and soaking the seat below.Â
âJesus christ,â Eddie breathes, looking at your lap with a pained expression. Meanwhile, your eyes are locked on the ever growing bulge in his work pants, drool pooling in your mouth as his blue jeans strain from the size of him.Â
He lunges towards you, mouth agape to meet with yours before the sound of the bell stops either of you in your tracks. You hear a crack next to your head that makes you jump. When you look you see that Eddie has cracked the wood of the chair with his bare hands, muscles and veins popping from the strain.Â
âEddieââ
âDonât go,â he begs, his voice low and gravely, âI canât let you go again. I need you.â
He sounds so pathetic. All the still working parts of your brain start to go hazy at his groveling. He needs you. And you need him.Â
The shrill sound of the phone ringing on his desk pulls Eddie away from you with a huff. His eyes don't leave you as he picks up the receiver, growling âwhatâ to whoever was on the other line.Â
As he listens, though, Eddieâs brows lift in surprise, followed by a cheshire grin. âConsider us even then,â he says into the phone before he slams it back down.Â
âW-who was that?â
He lets out a chuckle, sauntering over to you with a dark look in his eyes, leaning in until heâs barely an inch from your face.Â
âThat was our good friend, Steve. He said he let the principal know you had to go home sick and got someone to cover your classes.â
Your breath hitched. Your mind was a whirl of everything Eddie you had almost forgotten that you still had classes to teach. You try to take a mental note to thank Steve later, hoping it doesnât get lost in your mind.
âIf thatâs what you want, anyway. Could always go back to classââ
You surge forward, lips meeting his in a fevered kiss. âNo, no,â you murmur against his lips, fingers tangling in his curls, âwant you, Eddie. Donât make me go back.â
What you donât expect is to feel his hands grip you under the fat of your ass and lift you up from the chair. He turns the both of you around, using one hand to knock the things off of his desk before placing you on top of it with a squeak from you on impact, all the while his lips glued to yours.Â
His hands make quick work with the buttons on your blouse and he moves down your neck, leaving kisses and little bruises across your skin.Â
You feel him slotting between your legs, your pencil skirt riding up so his hard length could press against your clothed pussy. The denim of his jeans turn dark as slick continues to soak through your panties, your hips bucking against him as the familiar ache of your heat senses what you need only a few pieces of fabric away.Â
As soon as Eddie opens your blouse, heâs ripping the cups of your bra with a force that causes your whole body to move, making your tit bounce in recoil.
âOf course theyâd be perfect,â he groans, pulling back, completely enamored at the sight of you before him. His big hands grab and kneads at the flesh, taking your nipples between his fingers and rolling them. Your back arches as the sensation, and the drag of your sensitive clit against the denim only makes you moan louder.
Eddie pushes himself into you more, reveling in the feeling of you grinding against him and soaking his leg. He takes a nipple into his mouth and sucks, letting his tongue swirl around it.Â
Itâs all too much, your head spinning as everything seems amplified under his touch. Your hands scramble to grab the hem of his shirt, pulling the black polo and flimsily attempt to pull it off of him. You feel him grin against the skin of your breast before pulling off with a pop.Â
âImpatient, arenât we?â Eddie asks as he pulls the shirt over his head, as if he isnât using every ounce of self control to keep him from completely devouring you. He wants to sink his teeth into you and never let go, but he canât scare you off, not when heâs finally got you exactly how he wants you.Â
Your mouth drops as his body is revealed to you. His slim, but built frame littered with tattoos you would never know he had unless you were to get him like this. Your eyes trail down his chest, his abdomen, all the way down to where his happy trail leads beneath his jeans. The urge to run your fingers through it takes over, your pointer and middle finger dragging from his belly button until they catch on his belt buckle, his stomach flexing under your touch.Â
You grab at his belt, pulling him towards you until you can get a good enough grip to undo it, pulling down his pants until they drop to the floor with a thud. The boxers that remain sport a very large tent in them, and you swear you can see him twitching under your gaze.
His head falls back as your hand gently glides over him, rubbing the fabric into his leaky tip more, expanding the wet patch that was already forming there. Eddie watches you bring your fingers to your mouth to taste the sticky mess that you collected, your body going boneless when it hits your tongue. Itâs like nothing thatâs ever graced your taste buds before, making your eyes roll back in your head as your body craves for more.Â
Watching the way you react to him is Eddieâs final straw. His vision tunnels, completely focused on you as the primal part of his brain takes control. Suddenly, heâs pushing you back down into the desk, manhandling you as he tears through your pantyhose, ripping your panties in half until your bare pussy is on display for him.Â
Ducking down without warning, he spreads your legs apart and runs his thick, long tongue through your sopping folds. He inhales your scent, the bulb of his nose bumping into your clit in a way that sends zings of pleasure throughout your body. The tip of his tongue pushes its way into your hole, the thick muscle reaching as far as it can to lap up your sweet nectar from the source. Your hands fly to the top of his head, gripping tightly in an attempt to anchor yourself to this plane of existence while your orgasm rips through you. His name falls from your lips over and over as your vision goes white, blinding you with pleasure.
When you come back to your body you feel his hot breath fanning across your cheek, wet lips pressing into the side of your neck as he whispers sweet words into your ear.
âThere she is,â he says once your eyes flutter open, âThat feel good, pretty girl?âÂ
You nod your head dumbly, making him chuckle.Â
âCan I make you feel like that again? Wanna make you feel so good on my cock, sweetheart. Donât think I can hold back anymore.â
You feel the way heâs rubbing his tip through your folds, hand gripping at the base with all the self restraint in the world. The precum leaking from his tip mixing with your own slick creating a sticky mess between your lips.Â
âPleasepleaseplease,â you beg, canting your hips to match his movements, gasping when his head catches on your entrance.
Thatâs all Eddie needs to hear. Lining up with your entrance, he pushes his way into you. The stretch is like nothing youâve ever experienced. David was an alpha, so naturally he was big, but this? You could feel every ridge and vein of Eddieâs cock as he buried himself deeper inside you. The way his tip pressed against your cervix sent a fresh wave of arousal through you and all over Eddieâs desk.
There was barely time to adjust before Eddie was pistoning in and out of you. His hands white knuckle the skirt still sitting at your waist, using it as leverage to keep you in place while he fucks into your tight cunt. Your hands scramble to find something to hold on to, ultimately settling on Eddieâs forearms as your whole body shakes with each thrust.Â
âOhhhh fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,â you moan in tandem with every movement. Your brain gone, completely replaced with Eddie and never wanting this to end.Â
âFuck, Eddie, please.â
âWhat is it, baby girl? What does my girl need?âÂ
Hearing his voice, the way he calls you his girl lights a fire in your belly. Youâd take anything he would give you right now. Anything he wants from you, youâd give him.Â
âWant yo-o-o-o-ou,â you pant, âOh, fuck! Want you so bad!â
âIâm right here, sweetheart.â
Eddie leans down, his lips pressing into yours tenderly. You wrap your arms around his neck, pinning him to you until he gets the hint, letting his body weight press into you until youâre chest to chest. His tempo slows down to a sensual drag in and out. One hand grabs at your leg, bending it forward to open you up for him more. He feels impossibly deep inside of you as his head bullies that spot deep inside you.
âIs this what you needed, princess? Just needed me to get closer to you?â His face is pressed into your cheek, eyes threatening to close as he feels his resolve lessening with each passing moment that heâs inside you. But he needs you to come undone on his cock one more time before he can let go.
âYes, thank you, thank you, Eddie, mmmmm,â the words fall from your mouth with no thought, your only focus on the pleasure thatâs building up inside you. Your walls clenching around Eddieâs cock like a vice as you get closer and closer to the edge.Â
But, in tandem with your imminent orgasm, the dull ache inside you grows as well, blooming with a need thatâs almost painful to bear.Â
âEddie.â
The breathy, desperate tone in your voice has Eddie pulling back just enough to look at you. A picture of almost pure lust, say for the concerning pinch in your brows.Â
âI know, youâre so close, baby. Can feel you gripping me so tight,â he coos down at you. But you shake your head, trying your best to meet his eyes as you try to speak, willing him to just know what you want.
âWant it. Want it. Want it,â is all you can muster out.
âWhat do you want, baby girl?â
âKnot. Knot, please.â
Eddieâs movements still immediately, making you whine. He straightens up completely, looking down at you darkly, his frizzy curls a wild halo around his head as it blocks the light above.Â
He takes a deep breath in, nostrils flaring on the exhale, âYou know whatâll happen if I do that, right? Iâm not on anything that would stopââ
âYes!â You cry, too frustrated and needy for him to move again that you begin moving on your own, fucking yourself on his cock. âEddie, I want it so bad! Please, wanna be your girl. Want everyone to know Iâm your girl.â
Before you can react, Eddie is grabbing you and flipping you over on his desk, almost knocking his computer down in the process. Only a moment later do you feel him pushing back into you with one quick thrust. His hand wraps around the back of your throat, not tight, but enough to keep you pinned down for him as he fucks you. Thereâs no purpose to his thrusts other than to chase his own high, but the brutal fuck and anticipation of whats to come is enough to finally push you past that breaking point.Â
The sound of your slick hitting the floor beneath you and the impossible grip your cunt has on his cock has Eddie following not far behind you. Just as you feel his hips falter, you feel a pressure building inside you, pushing at your walls until theyâve reached their limit. Itâs painful, until itâs not. Quickly turning into an overwhelming pleasure, you feel yourself cumming again in quick succession as you feel the hot ropes of Eddieâs spend hit your cervix, filling you with an endless stream and then some.Â
The pressure of Eddieâs body folding limply on top of you feels amazing, the skin to skin soothing you as your still hazy mind craves him. You feel his lips on your shoulder, trailing kisses across your back until he reaches the center, just below the base of your neck. You fully expected him to continue on, simply loving on your body as you wait for him to fully finish.
What you werenât expecting was for his teeth to sink into the skin of your scent gland. The feeling of his teeth on you is startling, and for a moment you think about your high school health class, where your teacher told you that when you bond with an alpha it would feel like the chemistry of your brain would change. There would be an instant shift that would change everything and, andâŠyou feel nothing.
Well, not nothing. Being wrapped up in Eddie feels like being wrapped up in a blanket by a fire on a cold winter night, like warm water on sore muscles after a long day. It feels like the pieces of the puzzle have all fallen into place. Itâs not big or loud, rather, it feels like home. He feels like home.Â
âAre you okay?â Eddieâs voice comes out muffled against your skin, his lips still pressed against your neck before he starts to rub his face over the gland.Â
âMhmm,â you purr, moving your hand to lace over his on the desk, the cool metal of his rings a stark contrast to your hot skin. âMâbackâs a little sore, though,â you say as you can feel your body starting to ache from the position youâre in.Â
Eddie pushes off of you quickly, almost pulling you with him as his shaky legs threaten to fold from how quickly he moved.
You push off of his desk like a cat stretching after a nap, shivers running down your spine as the shift presses Eddieâs still hard cock further inside you.
âDoes it hurt?â
You look over your shoulder to see Eddie mesmerized on the way his knot has you over stuffed, feeling the resistance when your bodies tug apart.Â
The wide eyed look on his face lights the flame in your belly again. Eyes still on him, you start to rock back and forth slowly on him. Youâre barely moving with your limited range, but the way he sucks in his breath at the feeling only fans the flames in you more.Â
âIt doesnât hurt,â you say in a sultry voice, catching his attention now. âHave you never knotted anyone before, Eddie?â
Brown curls bounce as he shakes his head. He swallows thickly, âN-no, I havenât.âÂ
You moan out at his confession, clenching down on him. And he whimpers, eyes clenched shut as you continue to gently rock against him.
âH-have you ever been knotted before?â Heâs panting now. Standing completely still as he watches you fuck yourself on his cock.Â
You lean against the desk in front of you, the edge hitting your clit just right as you start to grind against it. âOnly once,â you say between huffs, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge again. âIt didnât feel this good, though, fuck.â
âOh, godââ Eddieâs hands grip at your hips to still your movements, and you can feel a fresh wave of his cum spilling into your already stuffed cunt. The pressure pushes you over the edge with him, a silent scream on your lips as your body shakes in his grip.Â
Heâs panting like he ran a marathon with a bruising grip still on your hips. It takes a moment for him to catch his breath, but when he does, heâs wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him.Â
You yelp as he sits back in the chair and situates you in his lap. Youâre able to turn your body on his knot, curling into him so your face is buried in his neck, breathing him in. Calloused fingers run up and down your thigh soothingly, leaving tingles in their wake.Â
âEddie?â Youâre the first to break the silence. His head shifts your way, but his eyes are still trained on where his fingers dance on your skin.Â
âHmm?â
âWhen you bit me, did you feelâŠanything?â
The corners of his lips curl into a smile, like you had just told him a joke or something.Â
âNah,â he said with a chuckle. You almost felt as if he was making fun of you, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout.Â
âOh, whatâs this face for, hmm?â He grabs your face and pretends to bite at it, making you laugh as you turn away from him.Â
âStoooop,â you whine, but your cheeks start to ache with how hard youâre smiling. âAre you making fun of me?â
âWhat? Why would I make fun of you?â
âBecause I was being serious when I asked you about the bite! They always told us that itâs this huge deal to bond with someone so I thought it was going to be like New Year's Day in my mind or something!â
âAre you saying I didnât totally blow your mind just nowâOW!âÂ
You bite Eddie's shoulder playfully, giggling and kicking as he tries to get his revenge by tickling your side.
âOkay! Okay! You totally blew my mind! I give!â
âThatâs what I thought,â he says as he lands a quick peck to your lips, making you feel giddy at the contact. âBut I promise Iâm not laughing at you. Iâm justâŠâÂ
He looks down for a moment before meeting your gaze again with a look a lot less playful than just a moment ago.Â
âOkay, Iâm going to need you to hear me out on this, alright?âÂ
You nod, giving him your undivided attention as he speaks.
âSo, like, I donât know if you would even remember, but that day when we met, when I first saw you I heard these, like, bells ringing in my ears. And not like when your ears ring after listening to loud music, but, like, little chimes or something. At the time I didnât think anything about it, but when I talked to Steve and my friend Nancy about it later, they told me that they heard the same thing when they had marked their partners.â
Your eyes go wide, heart fluttering in your chest.
Because you remember hearing bells so clearly when you saw him, too.
But how could that be?
âI know,â he says, reading the disbelief on your face, âIt didnât make sense to me either. So, Nancy, sheâs really smart by the way, youâll love her. She went and found some older books on, like, alpha and omega couples that talked about this thing called soul bonding? Itâs supposed to happen when two people that are meant to be together like, imprint on each other and basically they canât be with anyone elseââÂ
Oh.
Oh.
His voice trails off, coming to the same realization as you.Â
âDo you thinkââ
âYes,â you respond without a second thought. âIt makes so much sense. The smells, everything with David, why I canât stop thinking about youâFuck, Iâve only been able to get myself off if Iâm wearing your sweater!â
Eddie twitches inside you again, his face a bright red at your admission.
âYouâve been wearing my sweater?â He teases with a raised brow. You nod, not seeing any point in lying about it now.
âI like to sleep in it,â you say as you snuggle into him more, âIt feels like Iâm sleeping with your arms around me.â
âMmmm, I think I could do you one better. How âbout I let you experience that first hand?â
âYou donât think this is too soon, do you?
Eddie places a box labeled âwork clothesâ on top of his nightstand, reaching a hand out for you to hand him another hanger from the pile on top of his bedânow both of your bed, as he continues to hang your clothes for you.
âSweetheart,â he sing-songs to you, âhow is this going to be any different than the last two months?â
Since your first encounter in his office at work, the two of you have been attached at the hip ever since. Youâd spent almost every night at his trailer, only staying at your parents house once to watch their dog while they went out of town for the weekend.Â
The chemistry between you and Eddie felt unreal at times, like you were going to wake up from a dream and he would be gone. Outside of his work clothes, some may say he looked a little intimidating, but he was the biggest sweetheart youâve ever met. And when you got to meet his uncle, Wayne, a few weeks ago, you could tell where he got his chivalry from.
âI know, itâs just all so new for me,â you sigh, falling back onto the bed with a huff.
âItâs new for me, too, but in a good way.â You could hear his smile even with his back turned to you. âBesides, this place could use a little feminine touch.âÂ
He turns to face you, taking one big step to bump his legs into yours.
âNo kidding, it looked like a college dorm in here,â you say with an eye roll, thinking about the mismatched furniture and band posters he had taped to the wall.
âWell, this college dorm is about to graduate, move on to bigger and better things in life.â
âLike being baby proofed?â
Eddie hums, lowering himself down onto his knees in front of you. You prop yourself up, shifting your legs apart so he can settle himself between them, arms wrapping around your middle as his head rests on your tummy.Â
âIâm glad Wayne talked me into getting a two bedroom when I was looking around. I thought all Iâd ever need was enough for me, but I guess the universe works in mysterious ways,â he says the last part with exaggerated mysticism, and you tug at his hair playfully at his unseriousness.Â
âMmm, baby do that again.â
âOh, my god, whatever.â You roll your eyes, thinking heâs being playful, but the bedroom eyes and parted lips say otherwise.Â
And soon after his hips are rolling into yours. Sweaty bodies intertwined as he splits you open, your heightened senses from the pregnancy hormones making it so easy for Eddie to keep you cumming for him.Â
âCome on baby, you got one more for me?â
âCan feel you squeezinâ me.â
âThatâs my good girl.â
And you cum again and again and again, losing track as Eddieâs thumb works on your clit in sync with his thrusts.Â
He wishes he could do this forever. Watching you fall apart on his cock has to be the greatest thing heâs ever witnessed. His eyes land on your non-existent bump, imagining how big it's going to look in just a few months with his baby inside you.
âCanât wait til you get all big, sweetheart. Gonna show you off everywhere we go,â he picks up speed, his rhythm starting to falter, âWant everyone to know youâre mine, always. Gotta keep you like this. Keep you pregnant so no oneâ oooooooh fuck! So no one takes you from me.â
âAll yours, Eddie,â you babble out, completely brainless, âLove you. Only you.â
âHaaaahh, shit,â his head rolls back, and you can feel him cumming deep inside you. His hips slow down to a stop before heâs pulling out and landing on his back next to you.
Youâre immediately cuddling up next to him, your head raising up and down against his chest. His arm curls around you, pulling you into him more so he can kiss the top of your head.
âI love you, too, by the way.â
You snap your head to look at him. âWhat?â
âYou said âlove you,â and Iâm saying I love you too.â
âI did?â
âDid you not mean it?â
He looks down at you expectantly, waiting for your answer. But you donât really have to think too hard to come up with the answer.
Say what you will about the Alpha/Omega trope, but I think more of them are needed for the Eddie/Reader pairing. I absolutely adore instant connections and no one deserves to have a soul bond more than Eddie does. đ„°đ„°đ„°
So you get a little confused when youâre drunk? So what?
a/n: I saw a goofy little twitter post about this somewhere and ran with it. Iâm goofy when Iâm drunk, so, honestly? A very plausible scenario.
warnings: Mild language, alcohol consumption.
note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.
You do not have permission to copy, repost, or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.
â
Youâre sitting next to Bucky and across from Sam, and you are a little very drunk. The three of you chose to have a drink and talk after a long day of working on the Wilsonsâ boat. The issue, however, is that Sam challenged Bucky and yourself to a drinking game, and you were desperately losing.
One thing about you is that when youâre drunk: you feel the need to tell everyone how much you love them. Another thing about you when youâre drunk: your memory sucks.
âSam,â you whisper yell across the bow of the boat. âSam. Sam. Sam.â
Sam raises an eyebrow at you when he turns his attention to you.
âI have a secret to tell you! No, two secrets!â You hold out two fingers in front of you.
Sam smirks. âWhatâs that?â
âOne,â you hold up one finger, âI love you; youâre a good friend. Two,â you hold up a second finger, âyour friend whoâs sitting by me is really, really hot.â
Sam lets out a loud laugh, and you grin at his reaction.
âI love you, too, kid.â
Bucky is smiling fondly at you, watching you with love and adoration. Heâs glad he canât get drunk simply for the ability to take care of you while you let loose.
âIâm really, really hot, huh?â Bucky teases, and he laughs when you nearly get whiplash from turning to look at him.
Your eyes are wide as you stare at him. In your drunken state, you clearly didnât expect him to hear your admission to Sam. You relax after a second, though, and smile at him.
âYeah, you are. Yâknow, I was wonderinââŠâ you trail off, getting distracted as you stare into his bright blue eyes. You let out a content sigh as you observe him.
âWhat were ya wonderinâ, Doll?â He lets his hand rest on your thigh, rubbing his hand up and down comfortingly.
âDo you have a girlfriend?â Your question is dead serious. Thereâs no hesitancy or joke in your voice, and Bucky finds it completely endearing. He chuckles as he stares at you, and you can faintly hear Sam lose his shit. You donât pull your attention away from Bucky at all, though.
âI do,â Bucky informs you, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at your reaction.
Your eyes go wide, tears prickle at the corner of them. You swallow and wipe them away before doing your best to come up with a steady voice.
âIs it serious?â You question him.
âVery,â he smiles. ââm gonna ask her to marry me.â
Generally speaking, Bucky wouldnât have told you his plans, but he is fairly certain youâre not going to remember this conversation in the morning. And, if you do, he isnât too concerned because he is so very serious.
You make no effort to hide your disappointment, and you let your tears fall freely this time.
âOh, okay. Sheâs so lucky. Does she make you happy?â
âHappier than Iâve ever been.â
âOh. Thatâs good.â
Youâre obviously upset, and youâre obviously unaware Bucky is talking about you. Sam is trying not to laugh, but his wide grin betrays him. Bucky, however, finds himself more concerned than entertained when you start to actually cry.
âDoll, whatâs wrong?â He wipes a tear away with his thumb, softly holding your face.
âNo!â You push his hand away, eyes going wide. âYou have a girlfriend! She wouldnât want you touchinâ me!â
He laughs then. He canât help it. After all, his girlfriend would very much want him to touch you. You always have your hand interlaced with his, or your body snugly tucked into his side, or your hand in his hair, or⊠The list goes on.
âHey, donât laugh.â You frown.
âSorry, sorry. âs just that my girlfriend loves when I touch you.â
Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.
âWhy would she like for you to touch other women?â
Sam bursts into another round of laughter. He is struggling to breathe as he wordlessly points at the two of you, ignoring Buckyâs glare.
âOh, Doll, she doesnât. She hates it, really, and I never pay another dame a lick of attention. Sheâs the only one Iâve got eyes for.â He kisses your forehead, a form of punctuation to his assurance.
Your critical thinking skills, however, are formally shot.
âYouâre lying! Youâre paying me attention! And Iâm not your girlfriend! Whatâs your girlfriendâs name? Iâve got to tell her youâre cheating. Girl code.â
Sam loses it again.
âYour girlfriend! You: cheating! Shit!â Sam barely manages to get a thought out. Bucky grins at his friend. He canât deny that he is just as entertained by your antics.
He pulls out his phone, opening his contacts up to the one labeled âDollface,â and hands it to you.
âHere,â he says, âcall her.â
You nod and take his phone, hitting the call button and holding his cellphone to your ear.
A ringtone fills the night air and you frown when you feel a vibration in your back pocket. Clumsily, you pull your own cellphone out of your pocket and look down at the screen.
âJBB <3 is callingâŠâ appears on your screen along with a candid photo of Bucky laughing.
You stare at it, and Sam and Bucky stare at you. You donât do anythingâdonât say anything, donât moveâuntil the call goes to voicemail. Finally you look up at Bucky.
âWhyâd it call me?â
âY/N, youâre my girlfriend,â Bucky finally says.
Your face breaks into a wide grin.
âNo shit!â
â
âI wasnât that drunk!â You insist the following morning.
Sam and Bucky exchange a look before laughing.
âKid,â Sam says once heâs calmed down enough. âYou asked Tin-man if he had a girlfriend and cried when he said yes.â
Your eyes go wide as you turn to Bucky for confirmation.
âYou did, Doll,â he says, smiling.
You stare for a moment before shrugging and turning back to your coffee in front of you.
âYâknow what? Thatâs a totally reasonable reaction,â you say, leaning back into Bucky as he situates himself behind you and plants a loving kiss in your hair.
[3.1k] it was a placebo effect. you were so sure of it. but a deal with your boyfriend makes you rethink your stance on the aphrodisiac-laced chocolate. (smut)
.
âI donât buy it.âÂ
Eddie raised his brows, something quite like a smirk on his lips. âNo?â
âNot for a second,â you said with a shake of your head. âItâs all a placebo effect.âÂ
âA placebo effect,â he repeated, thoroughly amused as he shifted back against his seat, his attention now purely focused on you. âI donât think you can call drugs a placebo effect.âÂ
âItâs not drugs though,â you pointed out to him. âAt least not any of the fun ones. Itâs an aphrodisiac, also known as the cowardâs drug.âÂ
This time Eddie snorted.Â
âThe dude supplying you is fucking with you, Eddie, youâve been ripped off,â you said, sniffling a little as you took in the array of drugs lined up on the coffee table like it was an average Tuesday.Â
Well, because for the two of you, it was an average Tuesday.Â
âHe said heâs tried it himself,â Eddie countered, his eyes watching you closely before he reached for what looked likeâto the untrained eyeâas a simple bar of chocolate. âWent as far as saying it worked wonders.âÂ
Your brows furrowed together in response. âI still donât buy it.âÂ
The first Tuesday of the month was the same for Eddie. He would drive over a couple of towns, to a town that was much bigger than Hawkins. It would be a day trip, he would leave early in the morning after pressing a kiss to the top of your head before shoving his mouth with some toast as he walked out the trailer. He would get back an hour or so before dinner, utilising the coffee counter whilst you whipped something up for the two of you. It would take him an hour or so to get through everything and sort out his inventory, then he would be all yours for the rest of the night.Â
No drugs. No distractions. Just you and him and whatever crappy movie he picked up from Family Video on the way back home.
Except, this Tuesday was a little different when Eddie barrelled through the door with a massive grin split across his face, already rambling about some new product his supplied had given him a few testers on.Â
Hence, leading to the two of you staring at the somewhat disappointing chocolate bar.
âYouâre being cynical,â he commented.
âIâm being realistic,â you retorted as you leaned over, plucking the bar between your fingers. There was no writing on the packaging, not a single word. It was just a simple black wrapper with a love heart plastered in the middle. You snorted at the sight. âBaby, you canât seriously think this works?âÂ
Eddie only shrugged in response.Â
You rolled your eyes, throwing the chocolate bar back down on the table. âYou are too trusting in stupid shit.âÂ
âHey, itâs never stopped that stupid shit being true in the past,â Eddie countered. âNo one thought demogorgons were gonna be real now, did they?â
You gave him a pointed look. âFair butââ
âTake it with me.â
You paused, your words faltering as you stared at him suspiciously. âWhat?â
âTake it with me,â he said as he reached for the bar of chocolate, waving it in a teasing manner. âIf youâre so sure itâs a load of shit, then there is no harm in trying it, right? Worst case scenario, we enjoy a bit of chocolate and go about our lives knowing you were unfortunately right.â
Your lips twitched. âAnd best case scenario?âÂ
Eddieâs grin widened, boyish and cheeky and full of promises that made your thighs clench together. âWe fuck like bunnies until the sun rises tomorrow morning.â
You snorted. âYou have a way with words, Munson.â
But Eddie just extended the bar towards you. âFirst one to touch the other loses?âÂ
Your eyes narrowed on the bar, knowing very well that your boyfriend was baiting you. He was testing that competitive streak in you, that he was just goading you, tricking you. You knew that and yet, you still fell for it.
âYouâve got yourself a deal, Munson.â
âThatâs what I like to hear, sweetheart.âÂ
The first hour passed and you didnât feel any different. You could have laughed at how blatantly stupid the whole scenario was. The chocolate didnât taste any different to a bar you could buy at the store, maybe a little bitter but you just assumed it was dark chocolate and moved on.Â
You made your way into the kitchen, deciding to finish up dinner whilst Eddie sorted out the last of his inventory before you both found yourself settled on the small couch, plates of pasta in your hands as the movie Eddie picked played on the television.
On separate sides of the couch, of course.Â
There was something like a smug smirk on your lips as you happily ate your dinner, a rush of adrenaline coursing through you because you knew you were right. It was a load of shit, just some dumb trick to fool people into spending whatever obscene amount dealers could charge them for âsex chocolateâ.Â
It was around thirty minutes into the second hour when you started to feel hot.Â
Not flushed. Not warm.
Hot.Â
Your body felt hot, like it was burning up. It was uncomfortable, but not in the way you expected. It wasnât the kind of heat you felt when you stayed out in the sun for too long and your skin started to feel prickly. It wasnât the heat when it was stuffy and muggy and the air clung onto you like a second skin.Â
It was the kind of heat when Eddie would whisper something filthy in your ear when you were out, when his voice was a little raspy and strands of his hair tickled your neck as he told you every single dirty, little thing he wanted to do to you before walking away like nothing happened.
It was the kind of heat when his chest was pressed against your back, his hands running over every inch of your body as he slowly slid his cock inside you, letting you feel every inch until you swore you could feel him in the back of your throat.
It was the kind of heat that had you begging to feel every inch of him pressed against you, but even then it wasnât enough.Â
You wanted to ignore it. You tried to ignore it.
But it only led to you being painfully observant of everything around you.Â
The inches that separated you and Eddie on the couch, a distance that wasnât all that big considering it was a small couch, but now felt like an ocean between you. You wanted it gone. You wanted to crawl over and settle yourself into his side, to just feel his body against yours.
The way his hand wrapped around the beer can, the clinking of his rings against the metal can. You could see the drops of condensation rolling down the can, you knew it was just out of the fridge and it would leave his hands and rings just cold enough to make you shiver if he touched your heated skin. You wanted to feel him.
The way his tongue darted out, wetting his lips every few minutes as his eyes remained focused on the screen. The way he would tug his bottom lip between his teeth, lightly biting down when the movie got too intense. You wanted to be the one to bite his lip, to hear that little groan he would let out when youâd suck it between your lips.Â
You fucking wanted him more than you had ever wanted him in your life. And as stupid and dramatic as it sounded, you thought you were going to end up burning a hole through the couch if he didnât touch you soon.
âYouâre drooling a little, baby.âÂ
You blinked, snapping out of your spiralling thoughts to find your boyfriend grinning at you, this time looking as smug as you did less than an hour ago. You cleared your throat, turning your gaze to the television as you pretended to understand whatever was happening on the screen.
âWhat were you thinking about?â Eddie continued to push, a shit-eating grin on his face as he watched you squirm in your seat.Â
âTaxes,â you stated bluntly.
He huffed out a laugh, his eyes falling down to your thighs as you clenched them together. âDidnât realise taxes got you so worked up.â
âI find them riveting,â you continued.
âReally,â Eddie mused, stretching his arm across the back of the couch. It wasnât close enough to touch you, but enough for you to be heavily aware of the ringed fingers a few mere inches away from you. âNothing else is making you squirm?â
You instantly froze. âIâm not squirming.â
âYou havenât been able to sit still for the last twenty minutes, baby,â Eddie commented, his voice a little rougher as he spoke. âBet youâre fucking soaked.
You stayed silent.
âYou gonna admit it, sweetheart? Gonna admit youâre all worked up?â His words were like a phantom touch across your body. âJust sitting there, thinking how nice it would be just just feel my hand slide between your legs and touch yourââ
âIâm actually fine,â you bit out, a little more high-pitched than you would have liked. âBut it seems like youâre having some issues over there.â
âBaby, Iâve been as hard as a fucking rock since I came back home,â Eddie snorted as he eyed the shirt of his you had been prancing around in all day. âDonât need some chocolate to make me wanna fuck you, but itâs definitely helping.â
Almost instinctively you glanced over, your eyes falling to his lap to see if he was telling the truth.
He was, and you almost instantly regretted looking.
He had changed into some sweatpants, and guessing by the tent in his trousers, it didnât take a genius to figure out he wasnât wearing boxers either. You could feel the coil in your stomach tightened as you stared at his bulge, imagining what it would feel like to just reach out. To wrap your hand around the length of him and listen to the way he would shatter under your touch before you wrapped your lips around his cock andâ
âYouâre drooling again, baby.â
Your eyes instantly snapped away again, your cheeks flushed and heated as you tried to focus on the movie again. But you didnât know what was happening, you didnât even know what the name of the movie was. All you could think about was Eddieâs cock.Â
âShit.â
Your head snapped around to look at him again when he let out a low groan, his head leaning back against the couch as he palmed the length of his cock over his sweatpants. Your lips parted, watching the way he twitched under the fabric.
âWhatâŠwhat are you doing?âÂ
His head turned to look at you, a lazy smile on his face. âNever said anything about not touching ourselves,â he pointed out, squeezing his cock and letting out a pathetic noise. âAh, fuck.â
Your mouth ran dry as you watched him. He was far more captivating to watch than the crappy movie, the way his chest heaved up and down with soft pants as he tried not to buck his hips. He was so fucking pretty and he was all yours, and you didnât give two shits about the bet or anything else.
You wanted him and you were going to have him.
Eddie barely blinked before you were on top of him, straddling his waist as your hands reached for his face. His lips parted in surprise, a noise of surprise leaving his lips as his hands instantly moved to your hips, holding and clinging onto you like he had been wanting to do for the last two hours.Â
âBabyââ
âShut up,â you grumbled against his lips before you kissed him.Â
It wasnât a sweet kiss. It wasnât sweet or loving or full of affection. It was sloppy and messy and desperate. It was needy and pathetic and it wasnât doing enough to damper the heat that settled over your whole body since you ate that damn chocolate bar. You wanted more. You needed more.Â
âKnew youâd give in,â Eddie murmured between shared kisses, groaning when you nipped his lip a little too hard. âKnew youâd be eating your own words.â
âYes, whatever,â you snapped before pulling back, taking in his flushed cheeks and smug expression. âAnd now, I want you to fuck me, Munson. So, shut up and fuck me.âÂ
âYes, maâam,â he grinned as his hands dropped to your legs, squeezing the fat of your thighs as he moved like he was getting ready to stand up, but your hand on his chest stopped him.
âNo,â you whined, your words a little breathier than you realised. âHere. Need you to fuck me here, Eddie.â
âHere?â he cooed, a tinge of mockery twisted in his words and it just made you squirm on his lap. âMy pretty girl that needy for me? You donât even wanna go to the bedroom?â
âEddie,â you choked out, wiggling on his lap until you felt his bulge brushing against the cotton fabric of your panties. âShit, please.â
âShhh, baby, I got you,â he murmured as his hand rested on your throat, his thumb brushing against your beating pulse. âGonna give you everything you need.â
You were too impatient to pause even for a second, let alone long enough to strip out of your clothes. But Eddie was no better. Despite the patronising words and soft touches, he was fucking desperate to be inside of you. He had been desperate and regretting his words the second the deal left his lips, he was just glad you finally gave in.Â
His sweatpants were pushed down enough for his cock to spring free, red and leaking and desperate to be inside of you. You hadnât even lifted yourself off his lap to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side as you swiped the tip of his dick along your soaking folds before you finally sunk down on him.
âFuckfuckfuckfuckââ
Your head fell to his shoulder, a muffled sob let out as you felt each inch of him slide inside you. His fingers were gripping the cheeks of your ass, squeezing and digging into your skin as he tried to hold back, as he tried to think about everything except the fact he wanted to come already.
That self restraint lasted all but thirty seconds before you were bouncing on his cock, before your nails were digging into his chest, before you were moaning like something out of a fucking porno.Â
You had completely lost all care and inhibitions, and it was the hottest thing Eddie had ever seen in his life.
The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the trailer, deafening the movie still playing on the screen. You bounced on his cock until you came once, twice, three times and it still wasnât enough. You wanted more of him, you needed to feel every part of him until it was all you could think, smell and taste.Â
There was a part of him that would care later, that would be mindful of the mess you had both made. The fact your release was soaking your thighs, his own and the couch beneath you. The fact that the trailer was stuffy and hot and probably smelt like sex. The fact that the remaining clothes you had kept on were all but shredded in a pile on the floor.
Those would all be things for him to care about later, but not when your face was pressed against the arm of the couch, nails digging into fabric of the couch as you wiggled your ass impatiently.Â
âPlease,â you all but sobbed, one hand reaching back for him. âPlease, Eddie, I need youââ
His hand reached for yours, intertwining your fingers before he leaned down to press a chaste kiss to your cheek. âI know, baby, I know,â he cooed, his voice low and gruff and the whine that left your mouth was almost embarrassing. âSuch a needy fucking slut.â
âJust need your cock,â you murmured, your eyes fluttering shut when you felt his tip nudge against your swollen clit. âNeed you inside me, please.â
âMy needy slut,â he murmured, another sloppy kiss placed against your lips before he sat up, his hands gripping your waist so tight you were sure you would bruise by the morning, but you didnât care.Â
Not when he started to pound into you from behind, not when the noises leaving your lips were debauched and desperate and sending a thrill of pleasure down his spine. Not when he could feel your walls clenching around him, your ass bouncing against his pelvis with every thrust until he couldnât help himself as his hand came down on your ass cheek.
The moan you let out only encouraged him to do it again.
âShit, look at you,â he groaned, watching the way your needy cunt swallowed him whole with every buck of his hips. âSâlike you were made fâme, baby, fucking made for my cock.â
Your moans were whiny and incoherent.
âYeah? My little whore made for my cock?â he gritted out through clenched teeth, his hips pressed against yours as he leaned over your body, as his chest pressed against your back and his arms wound around your body to grope your tits. âMy little toy, hm?â
âYours,â you murmured out, your lips parting in a silent scream as the coil deep in your stomach tightened.Â
âMy little toy gonna come?â he murmured, watching in delight the way you silently nodded, tears slipping down your face. âCome fâme, baby, let me feel you come.âÂ
 You were a mess by the time Eddie came too, a mix of your come and his own leaking out of you and onto the couch. Your skin was shiny with a layer of sweat, your body far too tired to even hold yourself up. And yet, still, you craved him. You craved more.
âThose chocolates are fucking dangerous,â Eddie murmured in amusement as he placed a bottle of water at your lips, lightly slapping your ass until you finally took a few gulps.
âNeed you,â you whispered with a sniffle.
âStill?â He grinned before he joked. âMaybe we should do this every day.â
âEddie,â you whined but he was there, he was always there to give you want.
âI know, baby, but gotta give you a lilâ break,â he murmured, and yet despite saying as much, you couldnât help but let out a needy mewl when he slid back inside you, quick and easy considering how wet you still were. âGonna keep you full, honey. I said until the morning, and I mean that.â
âGood,â you grumbled as you nuzzled yourself against his chest, still craving that closeness.
âRemind me to call Johnny tomorrow and ask for a bigger batch of those chocolates too.âÂ
You could only snort in response as Eddie placed a kiss against your temple.
summary ⊠You back from college, visiting during thanksgiving break. Jason Carver has always liked you the feelings not mutual. So when you catch him harassing Eddie you pretend to be his girlfriend. What happens with your pretend boyfriend? CONTAINS SMUT
word count ⊠3,200ish
authors note ⊠BRO Iâm almost to 300 followers and 5000+ likes omg yâall are tooooo sweeet to me hope yâall enjoy this
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FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!
âč êł âŠ âș ⧠⚯. âș ⊠âč
The sound of your someone calling for you takes your gaze away from your phone. Looking up expecting to see your best friend. The two of you had plans to meet at this restaurant to catch up. You were in town visiting during thanksgiving break.
To your dissatisfaction itâs none other than Jason Carver. You groan annoyed knowing where this was headed. Youâre parents were close and they always rooted for the two of you to end up together. Not a single part of you wanted anything to do with him. He was a few years younger than you. Also the worst human being on planet earth.
âYou visiting for break?â He smiles leaning on the wall where youâre standing.
âYup.â You say with no emotions, giving your full attention on your phone. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of giving him any attention.
âWhat brings you here?â
âMeeting someone.â You answer eyes still on your phone, scrolling on something random. Pretending to be busy.
âWho?â He ask curiously.
âCan we skip to the part where you say something nasty, I tell you to fuck off and then you leave me alone?â You spit out, disregarding his previous question.
âWe should hookup while your in town, give you some good ol dickinâ down. Iâm sure those college boys canât fuck you like I would.â There it is.
âFor the millionth time that will never happen.â You respond, desperately waiting for your friend to arrive.
âSheesh have youâve always been such a bitch?â He laughs. When you donât respond Jason walks off deflated.
You pray that is the end of that. Only for him to find his next victim. A curly headed boy you definitely remember, Eddie. Itâd be hard to forget someone like him. Jason hated him, for whatever reason which made you gravitate towards him. You two were never all that close only exchanging hellos in the hallways. Occasionally bonding over your hatred of Jason. More than once telling Jason to leave their group alone.
Just as your deep in thought, thinking about Munson your phone dings. Itâs the friend you were waiting for, sheâs canceling on you. Her two year olds sick and canât make it. You sigh out loud annoyed but understanding, typing a quick response.
Youâre attention goes back to Eddie and Jason. Eddie was sat by himself, probably waiting for someone. Jason is giving him shit for being at a restaurant all by himself. It crosses your mind for a second and before you can realize how bad this idea is your on your way to Eddieâs table.
âHey babe,â You smile greeting Eddie, confusion immediately spreads across his face. You mouth âjust go along with itâ as you sit down next to him, careful so Jason doesnât see. You plant a small kiss on his cheek, his confusion turns to a grin.
âHey princess,â His arm slings around your shoulder. The pet name sends a heat through your body, you quickly push that away. You look up to Jason whoâs slack-jawed.
âThereâs no fucking way.â He whines.
âWhat?â You ask playing dumb.
âThereâs no fucking way you two are dating.â Jason responds.
âWeâve been dating for six months, right babe?â You ask nuzzling yourself deeper into Eddieâs embrace.
âAlmost seven.â He smiles, proudly.
âWe actually have you to thank for that. Bumped into each other, bonded over our dislike for you. Been inseparable since.â You laugh because Jason looks pissed making this so worth it. He goes to speak but canât get anything out, obviously frustrated.
âWeâre gonna have a quick little lunch. Then head back to his place so he can give a good ol dicknâ down. Thatâs what you called it right?â You watch as Jasonâs eyes go wide, full of pure disgust before running out of the restaurant. Once heâs out of hearing range you start erupting out in laughter, Eddie joining you.
âThat was amazing. I donât think Iâve ever seen him so speechless.â Eddie talks catching his breath from laughing so hard.
âI canât stand him. Heâs been up my ass for as long as I can remember. Saw the opportunity and took it.â You respond, looking over to Eddieâs whoâs arm still rests on your shoulder. He notices you noticing and pulls away.
âYou donât have an actual girlfriend right? Otherwise thisâd be kinda awkward.â You ask.
âYeah actually I do.â Unknowingly your face falls, upset that he does.
âWe met six months ago been inseparable since.â He teases, you roll your eyes realizing what he means. A silence falls over you two and you canât help but feel like youâve overstayed your welcome.
âIâll leave you be. Thanks for participating in my antics.â You smile standing up from the table.
âI just got myself a girlfriend I ainât letting you so quick.â You turn to face Eddie.
âWeâve been dating for all of five minutes and itâs the best relationship Iâve ever had.â He smiles, motioning for you to sit back down. Your intrigued so you sit down, this time on the other side of the booth.
âAre you sure? Someoneâs not gonna show up and be upset Iâm here?â You ask, seriously not wanting to impose.
âDonât worry about it. Plans canceled.â He shoots you a smile before pulling his phone out, typing away for a moment.
âYou really donât have to do that.â
âHang out with my beautiful older college girlfriend? Whom I only see during school breaks. Or hangout with my friends I see everyday at school? Uhhhh I think Iâll choose my girlfriend.â His words bring a cheesy grin to your lips.
âOkay I guess I can stay and enjoy lunch with my boyfriend.â You sigh, pretending like itâs an inconvenience for you. In reality your happy, your plans fell through and now your sat across from a long haired tatted hottie.
âHow old are you? Not trying to catch a case.â You tease almost positive heâs of legal age. Better safe then sorry.
â19.â He responds between laughing at your joke.
â
Lunch with Eddie was amazing, part of you grateful your friend canceled on you last minute. You feel an instant connection, not wanting the date to end quite yet. The two of you are walking out of the restaurant, hand in hand. Your brain scrambling for an excuse to prolong this date.
âSo what was that comment you made about a good ol dickinâ down about?â Eddie asks and almost immediately itâs like a light bulb goes off your head.
âJasonâs been trying to make the moves on me since forever. Just before I joined my boyfriend our date he offered to do that me.â You laugh, youâre not sure where you two are headed just following Eddieâs lead.
âYou and Jason, you never?â
âNever ever.â
âThatâs crazy. I remember rumors went around about the two of you dating all the time.â He says, processing this new information. Jason Carver wanted you yet you were her with Eddie. He was excited by that thought but at the same time puzzled.
âStarted by him. He made my high school experience hell.â You admit.
âSame here.â He sighs, you two reaching his van. Realizing this is where the date either continues or ends.
âShould we keep our story going?â You ask. Noticing Jason sat in his car with his friends, heâs watching the two of you. If he wants to watch, youâd give him a show. Mostly for own selfish desires.
âWhat?â He asks so you nod in the direction of Jason car full of jocks, watching Eddieâs gaze move from you to them.
âI told Jason weâd have a little lunch and then go your place whereâd you give me a good ol dickinâ down.â You cringe at the usage of Jasonâs phrase. Eddieâs attention whips back to you because of the words coming from your mouth.
âGotta make it believable, right?â
âYeah.â He says. Eddie is hesitant not because he doesnât want to but because he canât tell if youâre being sarcastic. You push him towards his van, his back hitting it makes a loud thud. If they werenât looking they are now.
You get closer, closing the gap between you two. Reaching for his hair, running your fingers through it. You had been wanting to do this since you sat at his table. Wishing heâd call you princess again.
âIs this okay?â You ask to which Eddie nods eagerly. Without missing a beat you kiss him. Softly at first, testing the waters. Eddie melts into your touch, his hand reaching around sliding his hands in your butt pockets. He pulls you closer into him, squeezing your ass in the process. Causing you to let out a little gasp surprised by his bravery. He smiles mid kiss only making you want more. The kisses becoming more aggressive, the wetness starting to pool in your panties.
âGet a fucking room, freaks!â Jason yells and then the sound of tires screeching past you two startles you momentarily. You pull away, grinning. Eddieâs eyes are closed, the biggest smile on his face.
âStill donât think itâs believable enough.â You say, sighing your tone suggestive.
âReally?â Eddie asks, sounding confused.
You roll your eyes, âYour beautiful older college girlfriend wants a good ol dicknâ down.â
âYou.. want me to-â He stutters, stopping before you finish for him.
âI want you to fuck me.â His dick twitches in his jeans because of the six words that came out of your mouth.
âDo you want that?â You ask.
âYes.â He gulps, excited for whatâs coming. Hopefully him soon. He opens the car door for you, you climb inside disregarding the fact that you drove yourself here. Your horny brain fogging your mind deciding in the moment youâd figure it out later.
This wasnât like you, you never hooked up with someone so shortly after getting to know them. You couldnât help but feel like something about this situation was different. Eddie was different, like a good different.
Itâs a very short but also painfully long drive to his home. Eddieâs never been so thankful for his uncle to be out of town, couldnât of picked a better time to leave him home alone. The drive is mostly silent, filled with music and stealing glances at each other.
As soon as Eddie parks at his home heâs out of the car running to your door, letting you out. He grabs your hand leading you to the front door. Where he struggles for a few moments to find the right key. Once inside, he shuts the door behind you before facing you. His hands press firmly on your ass to lift you, your legs straddling his body. This time heâs the one to initiate the kiss, carrying you to wherever. You didnât care as long as Eddie was there.
For a moment your startled when he drops you on his bed. Your allowed a quick glance around his room, taking it in before you look up to see Eddie. Heâs shirtless now and his shoes are missing. So you follows in his steps ripping your shoes off. When you go to take your shirt off he stops you with a intense kiss before doing it Aw himself, then unhooks you bra exposing your bare chest.
He pulls away to take in the view, âFuck youâre beautiful.â
Eddie smashes his lips on yours pushing you back into the bed before kissing down you neck only to stop at your nipple. The sensation is enough for you to let out a sweet moan slightly arching you back into him. Mouth still attached to you while his hands are busy unbuttoning your pants, pulling them down quickly along with your panties.
You curse your self for not wearing something sexier but you had no idea this whereâd you be today. Part of you embarrassed you havenât shaved in a while. Your worries are immediately put at ease when he spreads your thighs, letting his head rest between them.
âBeautiful.â Her murmurs before placing a sugary kiss on your clit, sending a shockwave through your body. His tongue begins rubbing against your bud. Without thinking your hands find his hair, pushing him deeper between your folds. Your head falls back, moans leaving you lips. When you think it canât get any better, he slips a long strong finger in your pussy. Pumping into you the same pace as his tongue that is still toying with your clit.
âMore please-â You whine and Eddie listens adding another finger, stretching you out. Your a mess under his touch. Never once has a man prioritized your pleasure. Youâve become masterful at giving yourself orgasms. The feeling of it being at the hands of someone else unfamiliar. A good unfamiliarity.
âFuckk- Eddie Iâm..â Your words turn into strangled moans, a tightness growing in your stomach. Your breath hitches as you pulsate on his thick fingers, your eyes rolling back as you come undone. Your busy riding out your high but the feeling of his fingers leaving you brings you back down to reality. His laps up your juices one last time before speaking.
âMm so sweet.â Eddie purrs sucking on his own two fingers that were covered in your juices. They leave his mouth with a popping sound as he sits up in the bed.
âMy turn.â You say barley audible sitting up reaching for the button on his jeans. Wanting nothing more than to wrap your lips around his cock. He stops your hands causing you to look up to Eddie, you cant help but pout.
âI donât think Iâll last long with your pretty lips sucking me off right now. Next time, okay?â You nod smiling at the thought thereâd be a next time. Eddie kisses you pushing your head back onto the bed. Only pulling away to pull his pants off and grab a condom from his bed side table. You watch intently as his pulls down his boxers, revealing his cock. You let out a gasp as it hits his stomach, never once had you seen one this big. Eddie smiles at your reaction while unwrapping the condom. Slowly rolling it over the tip of his dick and down the entirety of his hard length.
Eddie gets back on top of you, spreading your legs. He lets the tip rest on you swollen clit before dragging it down to your hole. Slowly, inch by inch you adjust to his size. He bottoms out, you let out a whimper because youâve never felt fuller. He uses his hands to lift your thighs up so he can get better angle before starting a slow motion. Pumping in and out of you at a painfully slow pace, only making you desperate for him to pick up the pace.
He leans down to your level, his head resting in the crook of your neck. Your chest being flattened by his. One hand rests at the back of his neck, tightening in his hair and the other hands digs into his back as he bucks his hip harder into you. Heâs thrusting harder but you desperately need him faster.
âFaster- please.â You say and it comes out as a whine. You get exactly what you want because he pushed up so he can see you before recklessly pounding into you cunt faster than before. He guides your hands so you can hold your own legs up, using his free hand to find your clit running circles around it sloppily.
âHow does that feel princess?â He grunts between thrusts, his finger still playing with your bud. You canât help but smile at the pet name. He finally said it again. When you donât respond he rocks his hips harder and you start feeling that tightening in your stomach again.
âFuck.â You cry out, knowing youâre about to cum for the second time. The sensation of your pussy throbbing on his cock as you get closer to finishing nearly sends him over the edge but heâs determined to make you cum again. His fingers work more tactically on your clit which is just enough to have you gushing on his dick.
âGood girl.â He groans. Not even a second later heâs cumming inside the condom, inside you. Suddenly wishing that thin little layer of latex wasnât there so you could feel his seed coat your inner walls. He kisses you sweetly one last time before pulling out and falling next to you. His chest heaving up and dow as he tried to catch his breath. You rest on his chest, listening to his heart beat.
âWas that believable?â He asks, out of breath.
âWhat?â You ask confused to drunk on dick to comprehend.
âWas that a good ol dickinâ down?â He laughs. You roll your eyes before nodding your head, yes.
â
The next two weeks weâre spent under and on top of Eddie Munson any chance you got. Dreading the fact that when break came to an end youâd have to head back to school. It was a three hour drive from Hakwins. You just got Eddie and couldnât imagine having to let go so soon.
Eddie was so grateful Wayne left for the two weeks during thanksgiving break. He had a whole two weeks of uninterrupted time with you. He tried hard no to think about the fact youâd be leaving him in a short time. If he thought about it too much heâd upset himself, usually pushing the thoughts away focusing on the time he did have with you. So to say he was surprised when you invited him to have thanksgiving dinner with your family would be an understatement.
When you found out Eddie would be spending thanksgiving day alone you didnât hesitate to invite him. Your heart felt for him when he admitted he never really celebrated holidays with Wayne always working. You were determined to make it perfect.
Explaining to you parents why this random dude was coming over on thanksgiving dinner was the hardest part. Only for Eddie to introduce him self as your boyfriend of seven months. They look at you like âwhat the fuckâ to which only caused you to laugh. Cursing yourself for not get your stories straight. More than happy to continue the bit but wished you could of prepared better.
âSo howâd you two meet them?â Your father asks curiously. You both say different answers. You blurt out high school and he says you two met at a restaurant.
âWeâll we went to high school together, knew of each other. Ran into each other at Dannyâs Dinner and hit it off.â You explain further, their faces telling that they donât believe anything coming out of your mouth. They never question any further, thankfully.
â
Todays the dreaded day. The day you leave for college. You had already said your goodbyes to your family. Deciding what time you had left would be spent with Eddie. The two of you had just finished fucking for possibly the last time. Your brain had been heavily worried about what would happen when you left. Itâs now or never, you need to ask him.
âIâm gonna miss you.â Eddie sighs. You sit up to face him, heâs laid in bed looking at the roof.
âIâll miss you too. What are we doing?â You ask, trying to read his reaction. He looks at you with a smile.
âI donât know about you but Iâve been faithfully committed to you for the last seven months.â He teases.
âIâm being serious Eddie.â You groan.
âMe too, princess.â
âSo we are-?â You start to ask and he interrupts.
âYes we are. Your all mine.â He kisses you.
âAll yours.â You melt into his kiss, fucking one more ttime. time.
For anyone else (like me) who loves the pretend dating trope! Stories like these are always so fluffy and feel good, they're such a great break from reality.
Reader to Eddie "I trusted you. There was a time when nothing could've convinced me that you could ever do something like this."
đ€đ€đ€
Worth it
Challenge me
A/n: ok this one is a wild ride. Trust the process! Thank you for another great prompt. This one might have gotten away from me a bit. I ALMOST made it a 2 parter.
Warnings: morning sickness and allusions to vomit. Cheating.
You weren't going to let him see your tears. He didn't deserve the satisfaction of you having such a visceral reaction. You wouldn't let him win.
But you weren't really sure how you got here.
1 month ago
"Eddie," came your breathy moan. Your fingers twisted into his hair as he devoured you. "God, Eddie, right there."
"Oh, you like that, angel?" You could feel his smirk against you. Eddie was a master at this. Even after five years together, he loves going down on you. He often called you his favorite snack.
"Eddie, need you." You whined. You wanted to feel him stretching you full and you needed it now. You tugged him up to you.
His smile was straight to his eyes. "Hi." His mouth and chin were wet from your slick. He kissed you as he positioned himself at your entrance. "You ready, sweet thing?"
"Please." You wrapped your legs around him to pull him close.
"So needy and impatient." He tsked. He slipped in slowly. And you wriggled, trying to get him to move faster. "You want it full force, huh?" His hips moved languidly. "You gotta ask me real nice."
"Pretty pretty please, babe."
"You sound so pretty when you beg me."
"Please, please, please." You begged.
He smiled. He pulled out til just the tip of him remained seated in your warmth. "So pretty, my love." He slammed his hips, driving a yelp from you. "God, you feel fucking perfect on my dick." He spoke between clenched teeth as he pistoned into you. "You're squeezing me so good, baby. Just fucking perfect pussy. Such a good girl just for me, huh?"
"Yes, just for you."
"Want me to fill you up? Make you a mommy? You want me to fuck you full of babies?" Eddie growled out.
"Mhmm, fill me up." You hummed. "I'm so close. Please, please." Your hips rocketed into his, rough and fast. Just what you needed.
"Cum, now, I need to feel you milking me."
You tipped over your ledge. "Eddie, fuck, cum, fill me up."
You could feel the warmth of his spend the slick of both yourself and his cum making a slippery mess. Eddie buried his face in your neck. He kissed along your neck. "I love you so much."
1 week ago
You were so nauseous.
"Maybe you should take a test?" Eddie suggested. He had stopped at the store on the way home from work and tossed you a pink box.
You nodded, taking the box with you into the bathroom. You waited ten minutes and saw two pink lines. "Eddie?"
"Yeah?" He came into the bathroom with you.
"We're going to be parents." You threw your arms around his neck and he lifted you and spun you around.
You couldn't be happier. The man you loved more than the world was going to father your baby.
1 hour ago
"Babe?" You unlocked the apartment door, you'd be sent home a little early. You were ready to have the next two days off.
You heard music coming from the bedroom. "Did you get a new album?" You wondered out loud when you heard something else too. A giggle.
A woman.
What the fuck?
You opened the door to the bedroom. You saw a familiar blond ponytail bobbing up and down, Eddie's head thrown back groaning.
"What the fuck?!" You don't know if you screamed it or whispered it. But you yanked that blond ponytail with a roughness that you know at least dislodged some of her pretty hair. "Get the fuck out of my house."
You watched as a shocked and crying Chrissy ran from the apartment. You then spun on your heel, eyes burning. "What the hell? What the fuck were you thinking?" You cut him off when he started to talk. "You know what, no, that's not what I want to know. Was it worth it? Worth losing us?" Your hands fluttered over your stomach.
His eyes cast down and he shook his head. He turned three shades paler. "No."
"I don't understand. How long?"
"I swear this is the only time this has ever happened."
"I don't believe you." Your jaw was clenched so tight, you knew you'd be hurting because of it. You paced because you didn't know what to do with any of this energy you felt coursing through you. You wanted to hit him. You wanted to scream. You wanted to run until you couldn't anymore.
"I deserve that. I haven't ever done this before, and I know I can't make you believe me. I just- I ran into her at the store, and I was weak and stupid. I hadn't seen her since high school. She flirted, and eighteen-year-old Eddie wanted a chance at the pretty cheerleader he wanted so badly back then. I don't know!" He tugged at his own hair. "All I know is I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll let me."
"You're dick is still wet from her mouth, Eddie." You looked at him with disgust. You couldn't see yourself ever being able to trust him again. And without that, you two wouldn't be able to last. You felt your world imploding. "No, Eddie. I can't. I trusted you. There was a time when nothing could've convinced me that you could ever do something like this."
"I know. I'm sorry, baby."
"No, you don't get to call me that ever again." You shook your head. You left the room. In the kitchen, you grabbed a trash bag. You stormed back into the bedroom and began throwing his clothes into the bag.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"What does it look like? I know it took you three tries at senior year but use some deductive reasoning here." You spat the words at him. He flinched. Good. The venom from your veins needed to be released. You'd probably regret saying it in the long run.
Time was moving in a different plane. You had all his stuff in the bag and you handed it to him. "Get out."
"Please, we can't throw away what we have. We have our little peanut to think about."
"Yeah, we do. Were you thinking about our peanut while you got your dick sucked by another woman? Or did your eighteen-year-old self forget about us? Get. Out."
You weren't going to let him see your tears. He didn't deserve the satisfaction of you having such a visceral reaction. You wouldn't let him win.
But you weren't really sure how you got here. Where did it all go wrong? Did you ever turn down his advances? No. He had absolutely no excuse. You'd just had sex last night. You'd given him head just a couple of days ago. You never 'had a headache' like the shows depicted the stale marriages on TV.
You heard the door close before you sank to your knees. You let the wails overpower you as you wept. This would be the one time you let yourself cry over Eddie Munson. Because as soon as you were done, you had other things to worry about.
You had your little peanut to worry about. And they were all you really needed. Eddie Munson just lost the best thing he'll ever know.
1 year later
"Hey, handsome. Daddy is coming to see you. You can throw up on him all you want when he gets here. And you saved sll that stinky poop for him too didn't you?" You baby-talked the squirming four-month-old butter ball in your lap. Fresh diaper and onesie just in time for Eddie to come by after work.
You'd somehow made this co-parenting thing work so far. Eddie would come to visit every evening through the workweek and have dinner. And he'd stay over the weekends on the couch. It was just easier to keep Sammy here with all of his things instead of buying two of everything.
Eddie did a quick two-beat knock before opening the door. "Hey. There's my little Samwise." Eddie scooped up Sammy and danced with him.
You smiled a little. You'd make it work for Sammy. Eddie was being a good dad. He helped with bills too.
You finished up dinner. Eddie fed Sammy some mushed-up peas and made airplane noises to make him laugh. "You know, I was thinking. The trailer I bought has three bedrooms. You and Sammy are more than welcome to come to stay there. You'd- uh- you'd still be free to like date and stuff. I'm not trying to like..."
"I get it. I know. Yeah. It's hard being away from him, huh?" You cut him off. You didn't want to explain you weren't dating. Didn't feel the need to date. And you weren't sure your heart could handle it again. He didn't need to know that.
He didn't need to know that even though you promised yourself you would cry over him ever again after that first breakdown, you still did. Late at night, when you brushed your hand down cold sheets or when you found one of his stupid shirts when you decided to declutter your pre-mom bod clothes out of the drawers and closets. He didn't need to know that instead of giving it to him or throwing it out, you kept it under your pillow and hugged it close like a security blanket when you felt so hollow you could scream.
He didn't need to know that sometimes, Sammy's big brown eyes broke your heart just because they looked just like his.
He didn't need to know that you couldn't care less about getting laid or having a boyfriend. Because as much as you hated Eddie stupid Munson, you were still ruined over him. Which honestly made you hate him a little more.
"It would help with cost and it just feels logical. Sorry. I'll shut up."
"I don't know if I could do it, Eddie. I want us to be able to be civil for Sammy. I don't know if I could be in that scenario."
"Right. Just, just forget I mentioned it. It was stupid. I will be making an effort to get him a bedroom set up over there though. I mean instead of crashing here. Especially for when he's a bit bigger."
"Right, yeah. That makes sense." Your heart sinks at that thought. You didn't want weekends and every other holiday without your baby. That wasn't fair. You didn't do anything to deserve that kind of punishment.
"You'd probably love being able to get a full night's rest with Sammy staying with daddy. And I can start teaching him how to shred on a little baby guitar." Eddie baby talked the last part to Sammy. "Little baby Rockstar." Eddie smiled at him.
The way Sammy looked at his daddy made your heart lurch. He looked at Eddie like Eddie hung the moon. You just couldn't talk about this right now. You slammed your fork down and went to the bathroom, locking the door behind you.
A few minutes passed. You splashed some water on your face and slid down the door to sit on the floor. You felt like your chest was going to erupt. Your breaths were shallow. You were going to have a panic attack.
Two quick knocks on the door. "You ok?" Eddie asked.
Absolutely not. You were anything but ok. This was not how life was supposed to be. All this turmoil and stress so Eddie could get a very interrupted blow job from some former cheerleader.
You'd hated her in high school. You'd come to Hawkins your junior year. Your dad's job had transplanted you all from sunny Arizona to this place and sealed your fate into this sorry excuse for a life.
She had been perfect. She was never rude to you but you could tell she had it all. You, on the other hand, had more curves than boys liked. You were made fun of for being "fat" and sure compared to the cheerleaders, maybe you could say that.
You'd made it through those two years just trying to keep your head low and survive. Eddie had started flirting with you after you'd graduated. He'd run into you at Melvalds where you worked at the time. And you'd never had anyone pay attention to you like that. He brought you flowers and serenaded you.
He'd made you fall in love. He'd praised your curvy body. Worshiped it with kisses and caresses. And you had fallen so hard for him.
You spent five years building a life with him. You moved into your first place with him. You got your LPN license with him in your corner. He helped celebrate your first nursing job.
All of the memories are just full of Eddie Eddie Eddie. And you can't understand what you did to upset the universe enough to have to suffer with all of this. No matter what. You were stuck with him for Sammy. And it just wasn't fair.
"Hey." He said. You hadn't answered. "I'm really worried about you. Can you open the door? Show me you're OK? I swear I'll leave you alone after that. Me and Sammy just want to make sure Mommy is ok."
He was keeping his voice level because Sammy was with him on the other side of the door. "I just can't right now." You let out a huffed breath. "I just need to be alone, please."
"Yeah, ok. Me and Sammy are going to take a stroll. It's nice outside. We'll be back in an hour?"
"Yeah. That's great. Thank you."
And one more time you let the sound of the front door closing let the floodgatesflood gates open. Your heart wrenched open and let the vitriol out. You rushed to the commode and let it flow from you. Your dinner making its reappearance abruptly.
You choked out sobs between dry heaving after that. Why didn't he hurt the way you did? How was this so easy for him when it had been all his fault? Sometimes you hated Eddie Munson.
6 months later
Eddie helped with the furniture. You couldn't believe this was where you hit rock bottom. Moving in with your ex. Who you still had very complicated feelings about because some idiot neighbor caught the apartment complex on fire. It was on the opposite end but the water damage from the fire safety system meant they had to get everyone out.
You'd been smart enough to get renters insurance so your new bedroom suit and all of Sammy's new furniture were water damage free. "Dada! DADA!" Sammy was getting very close to saying real words but his favorites were still Mama and Dada.
"Hey little man, Dada is getting all your cool stuff moved in right now. But I promise as soon as I'm done, we will hang out and give mommy some time to get things set up the way she wants. Sound good? I'll let you watch Bananas in Pajamas!"
"Dada!"
"Alright. It's a plan." Eddie winked at you before continuing to get the last items into the double wide. This trailer was much nicer than the one his uncle Wayne still lived in. Eddie's job as mechanic kept him able to pay bills even if he was still living paycheck to paycheck. He at least knew he'd have food and electricity.
Life was going to be a lot cheaper this way. That was for sure. Your six hundred dollar rent was eliminated. You could help with half all the bills here and still come out ahead.
"There are two bathrooms." Eddie said as you helped set up the important pieces of furniture while Sammy napped on Eddie's bed. "The one on this side between the two bedrooms is all yours. You can paint the walls chartreuse if you want. I don't care. This half of the trailer is all yours."
"Going to make a tape line down the center of the living room for us?" You were joking. Kind of.
"Come on. I think we can learn a lesson in sharing from the bananas." Eddie gave you a lighthearted grin. It didn't reach his eyes. They never did anymore. You missed that old Pre-Chrissy version of Eddie at times like these.
You all got most of the important things done. Sammy's room was together. Eddie had painted the walls green and had even made a mural. Lord of the Rings inspired, of course. You checked your watch. "Sammy will be waking up any minute." You said. You could program your watch to Sammy's schedule.
Just two minutes later, you heard a loud whooping sound and "Dada!"
"He's calling for you. Guess I'm off the hook this time."
Eddie's smile did reach his eyes this time. He really lived that kid.
You could hear him as he entered his room at the other end of the trailer. "Hey, peanut. Did you have a great nap? Shew, you need a new diaper, kiddo."
You smiled a small smile to yourself. Maybe you could be civil with Eddie. Maybe this would all be ok.
1 week later
"I forgot how irritatingly messy you can ve some times. Can you please just keep your mess to your room and out of the shared spaces?" You were so tired of picking up laundry and wrappers and empty pop bottles.
He looked like he wanted to snap back but he held it in. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Those words flitted through your head. And you realized, that's what all this was. The olive branch of staying here, helping with the bills, holding his tongue. Eddie was trying to keep his word.
He just gave a curt nod and picked up the living room and did the dishes. He worked in silence but his eyes flitted to you regularly. You played with Sammy in the living room. He was getting so close to walking. He held your finger in his chubby hands as he moved his legs across the floor for the fiftieth time in the last hour.
"You are wearing mama out, peanut " you said with nothing but affection. "Who needs a gym membership with you, huh?"
"Not you, sweetheart." Shit. He didn't mean to say it out loud. But you'd frozen with the words.
After a beat, you just cleared your throat and pretended like it didn't happen.
It was too much like old times with you in the trailer. No you weren't warming his bed, but he could smell you in every other room. Your body was curvier after having Sammy. Your hips flaired just a bit more, and Eddie was salivating at the thought of getting between those thighs again.
Sometimes, you'd look at him with soft eyes and a smile, and he could almost think he was getting through. That there could be hope that one day he could make you believe him again. Trust him again.
That shitty fantasy had never been worth all this anguish. If Eddie was truly honest with himself- and he'd had plenty of time to be- he was just self-sabotaging. He didn't think he'd be a good dad. As bad as he wanted kids, he was so afraid there was going to be this switch flipped in his brain as soon as it happened and he was going to turn into a shitbag dad.
He hadn't been with anyone since that day and some days since you moved in, he'd get so hard just watching you bend over to pick up a sock or when the front of your shirt was wet from dish water.
He hadn't meant to start getting so sloppy or letting dishes pile up but he liked watching you. You'd hum as you worked and you wiggle your hips to whatever tune it was you had in your head. And he'd ache with need for you.
So watching you swaying along with Sammy. It had just come out. He was living in this new fantasy in his head. One that was so much better than anything ever before. You wrapped around him every night. You carrying a little sister for Sammy. You in the throws of passion hot and wet on his dick. It was the best fantasy he could ever have.
Yet here he was with a phantom taste of you on his tongue. And he had no one to blame but himself.
2 months later
"Steve!" You threw your arms around Steve's neck as he and his kids came over to celebrate Sammy's birthday. His daughter, Barbie and his little toddling son, Bobbie both wearing blue today, were dressed up for the party. "Where's Liz?"
"She had to work," he sighed. "She's been working on this promotion so they're taking advantage of her. They know as long as she's waiting on that, she's not going to say no to the overtime."
"I understand. It happens a lot at the hospital when someone is trying to get headnurse too. I've seen some of those poor souls be there 48 hours straight and asleep on their feet just to prove themselves."
"Yeah, sounds about right. How are things going with the idiot?"
"You're supposed to be one of his best friends. Why are you calling him the idiot for?"
"Because he is one?" Steve shrugged. You watched as Bobbie walked on his unsure legs and Sammy, hanging on to Eddie's fingers, tried tk follow. It was so cute. "Listen, we talked about it a lot after the fact. He knows he's an idiot at least. He can at least admit it, which is a lot more than I can say for some men." Steve rolled his eyes. He always thought about his dad when it came to the lowest standard of manhood.
"Yeah, I know." You made sure the kids were keeping Eddie occupied. You didn't want him to overhear. "The day it happened, when I was literally kicking him out of our place, he promised he was going to spend every day trying to make it up to me. And I think he's still trying to do that, you know?"
"Oh I know he is." Steve said with a knowing look.
Another car pulled in. It was a whirlwind of hugs and smiles from the party as they unloaded from a van that Dustin was driving.
"Why do you have a fifteen passenger van?" You asked.
"I got a deal on it. And I'm going to customize it." He gave you a toothy grin.
"Yeah? How does Suzy feel about that?"
"She helped me pick out a design!" He gushed.
You spent most of the day watching Eddie with Sammy. Steve's kids played with Eddie like he was a jungle gym. And your heart's armor cracked just a little more.
Robin showed up after she got off work. She hugged you tight. "How have dumb and dumber been today?" She asked.
You realized Steve hadn't really interacted with Eddie much. "Is Steve mad at Eddie?" You asked.
"Yeah only for nearly two years now," Robin stated like it was obvious. "I mean they still talk but it's strained. Steve is a thousand percent team you, and he almost didn't come today."
"Really?"
"Yep." The p at the end of the word hit hard. "He has been trying to help Eddie be less of an idiot when he can. But there's only so much another idiot can do." She shrugged.
After a few minutes, Robin spoke up again. "Oh, I've been meaning to ask if you're up for a blind date."
"What?"
"Yeah! I know this guy who is totally perfect for you and I've been talking you up. Not that you need help but you know how men can be." She gestured to the ones currently in attendance.
"You think it's like ok?" You felt a weird strangled mix of anxiety and curiosity about the whole concept.
"Definitely." She nodded. "Tell Eddie he's on Daddy duty this weekend. I'll make sure everything else is set up."
You nod. Since moving to an office position at the hospital it was nice having steady non rotating shifts and eight hours days were way better than twelve. And it made it easier on your mom who watched Sammy during the day, too. "Sounds good."
The rest of the week your stomach was I knits. And Eddie acted distant. You were close to reminding him he'd said you were free to date. But you didn't want to rub it in. You were trying to be civil.
For Sammy.
Friday night had finally arrived. You put on you favorite emerald green wrap dress and some simple flats. You put your hair up and out of your face. Sammy would be asleep before you even left.
"I got him down. He was out easy." Eddie said. His eyes drank you in as he noticed what you were wearing. He was so used to seeing you in your scrubs or your leggings and tee shirts at home. Eddie scrubbed a hand down his face. He started to say something, he worked his jaw and stopped himself, and then, "have a nice night out. Call if your going to be out all night so I don't worry please." He left to go to his room before you could reply, his door shut in a slam.
You felt a small pang of guilt.
You shelved it. There was a knock at the door and you went to answer it. A tall handsome man stood there with a single rose. "Hi, Rick?"
"That's me." He gave you a smile and you took the rose. You put it in a juice carafe because you didn't have a vase.
You went to the movies and then out to dinner. And it was fine. But your mind kept traveling home. Home where Sammy was sleeping, and Eddie was brooding.
Dammit. He was ruining this, too somehow. Because he had to act like it bothered him that you had a date. He said it was fine. You would just have to have a talk. If this wasn't going to be ok, you and Sammy would just have to look for your own place again.
He lost his right to control your love life.
At the end of the night, Rick dropped you off and walked you to the door. He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and left his number with you. "I figure it might be better for you to call so I don't call during nap time or bath time or something." He smiled brightly. "I had a nice time. I hope you did too."
"It was lovely." You said truthfully. He'd been a perfect gentleman.
He'd also bored you to tears.
"Goodnight." You went inside and locked the door as quickly as you could.
"Did you have a nice time?"
"Eddie!" He startled you. He was sitting on the couch, in the dark.
"Sorry. I just got done checking on Sammy. He's been a little fussy."
"Teething, but this should be the last batch of that." You picked at a piece of lint on your neckline. "Was he ok other than that?"
"Yeah. Perfect angel like his mama." He said low. The pitch sent heat straight to your core. You knew that timber, that tone.
You weren't going to crumble. This wasn't fair. You felt the sting of frustration tears burn behind your eyes..
Eddie turned to look at you. Your eyes adjusted to dim night lights along the walls. His eyes told you what really had him on that couch. There was hurt and need boiling in those molten chocolate eyes.
"Is there nothing I can do?" He asked. And it was a broken sound. "I've been doing everything I can to uphold my promise."
"Eddie, if my dating is a problem, we can find a place..."
"No. Please." He cut you off from saying you'd leave him. He couldn't stand to hear it. "Please. I know you may never love me again, but please. I don't want to lose you or Sammy. I'll work on it." He sighed, his head drooped, shoulders slumped. "Don't worry about me. I'm sorry." He headed to his room and the door snicked shut.
You couldn't sleep. You just tossed and turned. Something about Eddie was keeping you awake. Something wasn't settling right. And if you were going for complete honesty here, you were horny. You had been since Eddie had called you angel in his roundabout way.
You slipped out of bed, padding silently down the carpeted hall, toward Eddie's room. You might regret this in the morning but right now, you were going to do something for yourself. Something greedy.
"Eddie?" You knocked. Then turned the handle. You saw him look over to you in the dim light of the moon through his open window.
"Hey. What's wrong?" He sat up and his arms reached to you as you climbed into his bed.
"I just need..." you let the thought trail as you pressed your mouth to his.
He didn't even hesitate. He automatically responded to you. His tongue flitted across your lips, requesting entrance. You obliged as you situated yourself straddled, core to core with Eddie. Only the thin layers of boxers and panties between you and what you're searching for.
Eddie didn't know what God he'd been blessed by, but he didn't care to know either. You were grinding into him as he kissed you, and he couldn't be happier.
"Eddie, take your boxers off. I need you," you rasped into his ear. He was happy to remove the barrier. He sprang out, and you felt the saliva pool in your mouth. You couldn't wait to sink onto him. You made quick work of the panties you had on and lined up before taking in his rock hard shaft. The burn was glorious.
"Fuck, how are you tighter than before?" He hissed.
You just pressed your lips back to his and started to move. You had the angle perfect. And after nearly two years of celibacy, this was not going to last long. "God, yes," You threw your head back. You rode him hard and your hips started to get out of sync. "So close" you said.
Eddie flipped you both over and took over the pace. He moved the way you always liked it. You moaned with every thrust. Louder and louder. You were glad Sammy was on the other end of the trailer.
"You're fucking perfect. You feel so good, baby. Cum for me. Let me feel you. God, I'm gonna lick you clean once you take me baby. I'm gonna lick every drop until you're ready for more."
His filthy words pitched you over and you came with a loud moan. Breathless you smiled when you felt his hot seed fling you. A few moments to catch your breath and you yanked him up by his hair. You looked him in the eyes and said, " you better get to licking, Eddie. Feels like there's quite a mess to clean."
He growled and dove face first into his favorite feast. His tongue lavished you. He dipped into you oozing entrance and tasted a mix of your slick and his cum and "fuck, baby, I missed this. I missed your taste. I missed you." He hummed as his lips found your clit and he swirled his tongue in his favorite trick. He went through the alphabet. Tracing letters over his favorite little bud. Humming in regular intervals to buzz against you.
Your hips rocked up, and he smiled. His tongue dipped back towards your gummy walls and you shuddered with need. "Eddie, please." He slipped his middle and ring fingers in and crooked them up, rubbing the spot he remembered exactly how to find. His mouth went back to its work on your pearl and soon you were riding another wave.
You pulled him back to your mouth and you could taste a mix of your climaxes in his mouth. "God, Please tell me you're ready for round two, Eds."
He lined up again, and he plunged into you. "It's been too long, angel. I've been longing for this since you moved in." He was angling your hips the way you liked and you knew your third orgasm was going to be the last one you'd be able to handle. You could feel the heat and coill of it building. Eddie pressed your stomach just above your mound, and your muscles started to flutter around him.
You felt the hot wet heat of your release. "Shit, baby, you just made a mess of me. That's so fucking hot."
"Shit. Cum Eddie. I'm so sensitive. Please baby, I need you to cum."
You felt his second release hit your walls. He crashed down, his head burrowing into your neck like he always did before. And you burst into tears.
"What's wrong, angel?"
"I've missed this. I've missed us." You held him close.
He couldn't help but smile. "You have no idea how bad I've missed you."
"Eddie, I swear to all that is holy, I will castrate you if you cross me again."
"I'll hand you the knife, sweetheart." He kissed you. "I love you. You don't have to say it back or anything. I just have to tell you."
"Shut up, you idiot. I love you, too."
"Now, I say we keep doing this until we have a girl." Eddie gave you a real smile. It reached his eyes for the first time in almost two years. You finally had your Eddie back. And it was totally worth it.
Usually for me cheater = leave the POS and don't look back, but I like that this author took the time to actually rebuild the relationship (over a decently long period of time) instead of having him simply be like: "I Love You" two days later and she immediately forgives him and they live happily ever after.
And while I'm not gonna lie and say that I wasn't a little pissed at Eddie regardless - especially considering that he cheated with someone that the reader hated in HS because of how much she made her question her own self-worth (which, not gonna lie, almost made the act 100% unforgivable) I think this version of him earned her forgiveness by the end of it. One of the few times I've felt genuinely content with a happy ending in a cheating story.
Summary: Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy but breaking your heart seemed to come naturally to him. A love story about your heartbreak,his betrayal and a chance at redemption.
19.1 k words
Content Warning: ANGST, heartbreak, cheating, mature themes, +18 SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (Pussy job, penetrative sex p in v, sad/angry sex? Rough sex mixed with a little pain. It will make sense once you read it) . Fluff, mentions of bad mental health from both Bucky and reader, graphic violence, character's death, mentions of women trafficking as well as assault.
A/N: Wow 19k words. Im sorry this took so long to finish but as you can tell it is super long as I promised. Buckle up y'all, this is sad. Also this is my first time writing a proper cheating fic so if you can/want let me know if you like it or not. You're welcomed to send me an ask with any comments, questions, etc., you have on this đ
A/N 2: Regarding asks Also there will be an alternate ending
Post dividers by @firefly-graphics
Now Â
"Fuck you," you spat the words.  Â
Tears fell from your eyes as they made their way down your neck, making dark spots in the collar of your red turtleneck. Even when pain was drowning you, beauty never left you. Bucky felt as if he were watching a beautiful Renaissance paintingâa tragedy of sorts. Â
"Is that all? I really donât have time for this."Â Â
He didnât recognize his own words or the indifference they came out with. He didnât mean to say them, but it was as if his own body was working on autopilot, and he was only a spectator to the shitshow it was causing. He wanted to stop. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to say so many things, but the only thing he was capable of was hurting you. Â
"Are you kidding me? Thatâs all youâre going to say?"Â Â
"What else do you want me to say? You know what happened, you saw her with your own eyes. Anything I say is either going to make you angrier or make you cry even more. Letâs just be done with this, youâll eventually get over it."Â Â
The sound of your hand connecting with his face put an end to his sentence. The hit didnât feel as such, his skin barely processed it as anything more than a simple graze, but once the initial shock wore off, the sting came along. But it didnât compare to the pain he felt in his heart when his eyes connected with yours once again. Â
"I always knew you were capable of many things, but not once did I think you would ever be this cruel."Â Â
Your eyes drifted to your hands, your right hand playing with the ring you wore in your left. A sigh left your lips, and more tears fell before you finally slid it off your finger, placing it on the table next to you. Â
A bucket of iced water. Painful, burning, scorching coldnessâ thatâs how Bucky would describe looking at you while silently breaking your engagement. His mind was telling him to get on his knees, beg, and try to fix everything he had broken. But the darkest part of him, the one that had taken over his life was assuring him you were bluffing. You couldnât leave, you always stayed. You always fought for him, even when he didnât deserve it. Â
"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes rolling with the uninterested façade he had perfected. Â
"Iâm done, I canât keep doing this anymore." You turned your back, strong and determined steps leading to his apartment door. Â
Please, fix this. Â
His trembling hands made their way to your wrist, anything that could mend the cracks in your heart that seeped with pain, the cracks he had caused with his own selfishness. Before his fingers could even graze your skin, your hand quickly swatted away his pathetic effort to stop you. Â
"God, stop being so goddamed dramaâ"Â Â
"Donât fucking touch me."Â Â
"Donât try to contact me ever again, I wonât answer."Â Â
"Can you justâ"Â Â
"If I ever see you again I swear Iâll murder you. I didnât kill you the first time we met but I swear Iâll do it if you even dare to breath in my direction."Â Â
Your words hurt, it seemed as though each one stabbed him right through the chest in a taunting way, a reminder of how much he had screwed up. Bile rose to his throat when you recoiled at his proximity, and the hate in your eyes burned him with such force that he was sure you wouldn't wait until the next time you met. Â
He deserved it either way. Â
Bucky's eyes opened just as the car jolted, his heart racing against his chest, his ears buzzing. For a fraction of a second, he's confused, not remembering why he was in the car, but the fogginess of his thoughts was replaced with anxiety when he heard the tracker beeping on Sam's thigh.Â
"Good, youâre awake. I think weâre almost there." Sam kept his eyes on the road, occasionally glancing down at the device that told him where to go. Judging by his demeanor, his friend didnât seem as nervous as he did, if at all. It wasnât like Sam had a reason to, he was the only one who had fucked up. Â
He looked out at the vehicle, and the passing trees in the darkness of the night numbed his mind while he tried to forget about his dream. No, it wasnât a dream, it was his worst memory to date. Usually, his nightmares were about the crimes he had committed while being the Winter Soldier, and he could blame them on his consciousness not being there with him. His own body didnât belong to him, so he couldnât keep blaming himself for the things HYDRA had forced him to do. Â
With you, on the other hand, he could not blame anyone else but himself. His mind wasnât tortured by a secret organization in hopes of ruining his relationship, nor was he forced to hurt the person about whom he cared the most to save thousands of lives. He did it all by himself, and now the nightmares have not only scared him but hurt him all over again. Â
You started to show up in his dreams more frequently once Sam told him they needed your help. As expected, the super-soldier's first reaction was total and complete refusal. His friend thought it was a childish reaction the former winter soldier was having to avoid the awkwardness of meeting you again, only knowing your relationship had ended on bad terms without hearing the specifics. But the blue-eyed man wasnât doing it for himself, he was doing it for you. The night you left, you made it clear you didnât want anything to do with him, or even anything related to him, your resignation from the Avengers Team and subsequent evaporation from the face of the earth was a strong message to leave you alone. Â
After a few hours of arguing, with both men going back and forth on why they did or didn't need you, Bucky finally agreed to go look for you. Lives were at stake, and no matter how hard he tried to look for a solution that avoided you, there seemed to be none. Before he could ask where to even start looking for you, Sam pulled out a device that seemed familiar to a phone. You had given Sam, and only Sam, a tracker that could find you anywhere in the world and could only be unlocked by a password you had whispered to him Â
The depth of his tormenting cycle of thoughts didnât let him register they werenât on the road anymore until his partner stopped the vehicle. They were surrounded by tall, dense trees, and the crickets and cicadas that hid in the dark made an orchestra that filled the emptiness of the night. Sam grabbed his gear, the sound of a duffle bag being opened broke the rhythm of nature. Â
"Why are we stopping here?" Bucky asked with a frown. His own duffle was placed across his back, the tinkering of the metal inside it annoying him slightly. Â
His friend threw an annoyed look at him before rolling his eyes and scrambling through his belongings. "As I said like twenty minutes ago while you were brooding and having your own pity party, this thing shows her inside a building in the middle of the woods. Iâd like to take a look around the area before going in blind." Â
"Oh." Â
Normally, the super soldier wouldâve had a comeback for the annoying yet harmless insults his friend and partner would throw at him, even a snide comment. But this was different, no matter what Sam would say, he could only think of what was about to happen. So he let it slide, submerging himself in his own thoughts while Sam threw the little flying robot he nicknamed "Red Wing" into the air. Once it was hovering above them and Sam made sure to have full control of it, they began a walk that would last about thirty minutes before the device would find any signs of life. Â
Sam and him were waiting somewhere near the alleged building, Sam's robot scanning the surroundings.The thumping in his chest returned, and his fingers became ice cold.He was so close. Close enough to see you, close enough to talk to you, and perhaps close enough to apologize.Â
How would you react to seeing him? Would you be happy to see him? Probably not, considering the last thing you said to him was that you would kill him if he ever came near you. He knew he deserved it, but hopefully time changed your murderous resolution. Maybe even forgave him. Â
Could you ever forgive him? Â
A slight swat from Sam brought him back from his thoughts, silently letting him know they were ready to go. Bucky could sense it before the place was even visible, the vibrations of the music resonating through the ground. The smell of smoke, alcohol, and humanity reached his nostrils right as they saw the line of cars parked in a plain field next to what resembled a warehouse. Â
To an untrained eye, it would look like a normal, unsanitary, and probably unsafe rave done by stupid people. But the polarized windows of the cars, the shine coming from the inside of the guards' jackets, and the lot of security cameras installed in the building told another story. Whatever or whoever was in there was dangerous, and as usual, you had gotten yourself in the middle of it. Â
Bucky wasnât an idiot. He knew you couldnât stay away from helping people, no matter how hard you tried. He saw the breadcrumbs, microscopic, little clues that he could recognize as your style. A missing girl suddenly returning to her family, a kidnapped journalist in the middle of war returning to their respective embassy. A child trafficker falling from his hotel room in the twentieth floor. You had always been... effective when it came to missions, sometimes going overboard with your methods, but Tony, Steve, and himself had always guided you towards the good and righteous path that a person with your abilities was supposed to take.Â
You lost all three of them in the span of a year. Â
They were lucky that it was relatively easy to get inside, and even luckier that their clothes didn't draw too much attention to them. Sure, they seemed to be wearing more clothes than needed, as most people seemed to enjoy themselves topless and/or pantless, but with the darkness of the room barely being lit by the flashing blue and red lights, no one really noticed them. Â
Guys, girls, and people he wasnât sure how to label were grinding against each other. Hands touched him, pulling his jacket, and he had to push them all away, trying to make his way through the sea of people. The inside of the warehouse could pass for a functioning club, with couches, dance floors, and screens accommodating everyone inside. Â
Bucky wasnât sure he had ever seen anything like this; the debauchery that people showed shocked his old-fashioned ways. He was sure he had seen several people inside each other, whether it was fingers, tongues, or dicks, no one seemed to mind that everyone else could see them. How had you gotten yourself into the middle of this disguised orgy? What were you even doing here? Â
Both men made their way to the front of the place, where a private section was installed looking over the dancefloor. Two large guys guarded the stairs that connected the lower and upper levels, allowing mostly attractive girls to ascend. Both men agreed that if you were to be found somewhere, it would undoubtedly be there. They scanned the room, looking for any way they could access the VIP level without having a pair of tits and long legs. Â
He had never understood scenes in movies where they showed time slowing down. Every time he had been in a fight, whether it was as himself in the forties or as the winter soldier, everything seemed to happen too fast to process. Even the night you left, time had seemed to go at an abnormally fast pace, and by the time he could finally react the way he wanted, it had been too late. Â
He never understood those scenes until he saw you walking to the protective railing surrounding the edge of the private section. Above the deafening music, the moans, and the music, he could hear your voice talking to someone else. Â
It was as if he was seeing you for the first time. Your beauty had remained the same your hair, your eyes, and your lips all looked the same, yet his heart started racing just as it did all those years ago. You werenât dressed like everyone else dancing around him, your black dress with a dangerous deep cleavage was sensuous, but it held a certain level of class that made you stand out from the crowd. Â
Thump, thump, thump. Â
Time moved at a slow pace, the slowest he had experienced. He was grateful for it, as it allowed him to appreciate every detail from you. The way your lips came close to the drink you had in your hand, the drumming your fingers did on top of the railing, the glint in your eyesâhe knew it meant you were lost in your thoughts. Â
Bucky had never been more grateful for the way time passed. Until he saw a pair of hands sliding across your waist, fingers gripping your hips so roughly, he was sure they would leave a mark on your skin. A semi-attractive man whispered words in your ear, his beard scruffing against your skin. You smirked, turning around to plaster your lips against his in a kiss that could make a pornstar blush. Â
He knew you'd moved on; nearly a year had passed since the last time he saw you, and you'd probably found someone to sleep with, but he wasn't ready to watch you become someone else's. His mind was prepared to face your happiness, but his heart wasnât. And even now, he was sure you were just tagging along with the man, using him for information for whatever mission you had gotten yourself into, yet he felt as if what remained of his heart had been ripped out of his chest. Â
With strong, rough movements, the man turned you around, pressing your body against the railing. As his hand grabbed your neck, your hips grinded against his, your mouth open as you licked your lips.Â
The super soldier couldnât take it anymore, his heart begged him to stop the torture. He wasnât even sure where Sam was, nor did he care. He cared about you, and he could only think about what he had lost. With the last of his dignity, he began to look away from you and your companion, who had leaned over to your ear once more. Except this time his eyes found Buckyâs, his fingers tightening around your neck. Â
He knew. Somehow the man knew who he was and, most importantly, who you were. Â
Your eyes widen slightly, searching through the sea of people dancing downstairs. But it didn't take you long to find those blue eyes you once adored. He was there, looking exactly the same as the night you left him, along with your heart. Â
"I know who you are." The man whispered in your earâa threat not so subtly hidden behind every word. Â
But you couldnât dwell long on his words because ice-cold eyes looked back at you. Ice cold eyes brought back the pain you thought you left behind, and the rage surfaced once more as you remembered the promises you made him. Â
Cold metal was pressed against your neck, the edge of it grazing your skin. Buckyâs eyes widened in alarm, and his hands turned into fists, making him look like he cared. Like he actually had a heart. Â
He barely took two steps in your direction when the wicked smile you wore stopped him. It was sinister. It was deadly. And when you turned to the man to say something, his grip faltered as one word left your lips. Â
"Good" Â
Your head connected against the manâs nose, a crack let you know it was most likely broken. You barely heard the manâs yells when bullets made their way to you, a couple of them grazing your skin. The room that was once filled with hips swaying, alcohol, and moans had transformed into a frenzy of screams and people running to get out of the building. Â
The crowd tried to take Bucky away; their desperate attempts at escaping dragged him away as he fought his way through the sea of people. Seconds passed, and he could hear your grunts as well as more shooting coming from the upper floor, with girls running down the stairs, some of them with splashes of blood staining their clothes. Â
He didnât know whose blood it belonged to, and that frightened him. Â
Samâs voice pulled him out of his trance. "What the hell happened?" Â
His friend had managed to make his way to him, both of them still getting pushed around. Bucky offered him a quick glance before resuming his previous task of making his way to the stairs. Â
"Her cover is blown," was all the explanation Bucky offered, and somehow it was enough. Before any of them could add anything, screams came from the front door, three bulky men were making their way there while carrying very large and dangerous guns. "Take care of them, Iâll go help her," the super soldier said without leaving any room for discussion. Â
When his fingers finally grabbed the banister of the stairs, Bucky was close to losing his mind. Climbing two steps at a time, he finally found himself a scene that froze him in the spot. Â
You were there, your black dress ripped in some places, your makeup ruined by mascara running down your cheeks, and blood splashes tainted your flawless skin. Bucky had managed to get there just in time as you twisted a man's arm to an unnatural angle, the crack of his joint popping out of place was followed by his screams. You had managed to kill/knock out everyone except for the guy who had previously had a knife to your throat, and Bucky knew better than to think that was just a mere coincidence. Â
After the last man fell to the ground, blood sputtering out of his neck, you lifted your gaze towards him. He couldnât read you as easily as he had once been able to and he hated it. Before, he was sure he knew you better than you knew yourself, more than once already sure of your likes and dislikes before you asked him for an opinion. He had treasured those times in his mind, and the memories were as comforting as they were painful. A constant reminder of what he had lost. Â
He was right there, right in front of you. The man you fell in love with when you still had a heart. The man who still had a tight grip on it and who would probably always own it. He could keep it for all you cared, your heart was tainted with memories you didnât wish to keep. Â
It was the first time both of you were this close, every scream gone as you were absorbed by your own bubble. He looked so familiar that your own body reacted the way it used to whenever you saw him. Your heart stammered in your chest, and even after so long, the butterflies in your stomach appeared for a millisecond. He was the man you had once loved, he was the man with whom you imagined a future together. Â
Then, you remembered why all your hopes and dreams had been destroyed. Â
Bucky noticed the hurt flashing through your face, your jaw tightening right before you made your way to him. For a moment, he thought you were about to hug him, your desperation to reach him in your long strides mirroring his as his body begged him to touch you. He wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness at your feet, and profess the love that he wasnât able to forget. Â
Perhaps if his mind hadn't been plagued with all the things he wanted to do, he wouldâve noticed your foot rising to give him a solid kick on the chest. Â
The force and unexpectedness of your attack launched him back to the railing, throwing him over it. His back landed with a loud thud on the floor, fortunate enough for him, everyone else seemed to have dissipated and his fall wasnât that high up. A second later, you jumped from the banister, landing on top of him with your knife in hand. Your knee found itâs place on his chest, feet pressing his hands flat on the surface. Before Bucky could even muster a word, the blade was pinned against his throat. Â
"I told you if I ever saw you again, I would fucking kill you."Â
Then Â
Steve had changed so much in the years they had spent apart. His friend, who had once been the fragile little Brooklyn boy he would protect with his life, was now a fully grown man with a strength that could crush a person if he wasnât careful enough. He was also now his protector, not from bullies that would harass him because of his own stubbornness but from a secret organization that wanted to take over the world. That and his own fractured mind. Â
He had lost control once the man had given him the commands to bring back the deadly assassin they had turned him into. He remembered it all, but it had felt as if he was under water the whole time, falling deeper and deeper the more he tried to fight against it. His own body didnât belong to him, no matter how hard he tried to control it. Â
For a year, he had thought it was possible to lead a normal life; his time spent in Romania had given him false hope that he had gotten away from his captors. How foolish he had been, thinking he could ever be far away from his grasps. He wasnât the man he was before, just a weapon designed to hurt people. Â
He supposed he was lucky Steve still saw good in him, at least enough to turn against his teammates and friends to help him clear his name. And now, as they drove to one of Steveâs friends' hideouts, he couldnât help but feel guilty about everything that was going on. If he hadnât lost control, Steve wouldn't be a wanted criminal. If he wasnât captured, a shit ton of innocent, good people would still be alive. If his mind had been stronger, he couldâve broken free of HYDRA's mind control. Â
Maybe it wouldâve been better if he had actually died when he fell from that train. Â
Steve parked outside an abandoned apartment complex, it seemed no one had lived there in years. He threw a questioning eyebrow at Sam, who just shrugged before getting out of the vehicle. Another of Steveâs friends had decided to help him out of loyalty to Steve, not because he particularly liked Bucky or entirely believed in his good side. Â
All three men walked inside the building, not a sound inside other than their footsteps and heavy breathing. Steve looked around for a couple of seconds before making his way to the second floor, his intuition telling him where to go. He stood in front of a door with a big C plastered on it, his friend's hand hesitating before knocking on the wood. Â
After the third knock came back without an answer, Steve decided to open the door. He had called a name while crossing the threshold, looking around for any signs of life inside the apartment. Bucky was surprised to find the apartment filled with computers, blueprints, documents, and lots of military-grade equipment. Everything gave away the signs of someone working there, yet there was no one who took ownership over them. Â
It was too late when Bucky heard you standing behind him, with his feet being swept by your leg and effectively knocking him down. The wooden floor amplified the echo of his fall, catching Steve and Samâs attention. Your frame landed on top of his, gun aimed directly between his eyes.Bucky's hand reached to grab your ankle in an effort to destabilize you, but the barrel of your weapon was pressed right on his forehead. Â
"I wouldnât do it if I were you," you said coolly. "I promise you, Iâll blow your brains out before you can even land a hit."Â Â
After your words filled the room, Buckyâs eyes finally took their chance to look at you, actually look at you. Â
God, you were beautiful. Â
Maybe it was only your physical beauty that had taken him by surprise, or the fact that you had taken him down so easily with just one leg movement. Or even the fact that you seemed to have no fear towards a man who was being marketed as a "dangerous and armed terrorist." Whatever it was, Bucky couldnât deny the fact that you were the most beautiful human being he had seen. Â
After a few explanations from Steveâs part and some begging for help, you released the super soldier from your hold, weapon holstered in your back. Your hand extended to help him get off the floor, and you offered him a charming but wary smile. Â Â
You told the three men to make themselves at home and take anything they needed. Bucky had chosen to keep guard, being by himself in the top floor while looking out through a window that hid him from everyone else. He was stewing in his own complicated thoughts when he heard a knock on the wall. You were there, standing a few feet away from him with a shy smile on your face as you extended to him a cup filled with hot coffee. Â
Thump, thump, thump. Â
"Sorry about the whole thing holding you hostage," you said as he welcomed the cup. Â
His fingers accidentally grazed against your own, and it was as if he had touched electricity itself. Heat extended from his hands all through his body, and his ability to think was thrown out of the window. He looked at you, and he couldnât tell if you felt the same or not, but he could feel how your eyes burned him, with a curiosity behind them that was so easy to read that he was surprised you were the black ops/spy Sam had told him. Â
"Itâs whatever, I wouldâve done the same thing if I were you." Bucky answered after a few seconds. Â
He turned to look through the window again, trying to keep his thoughts in order. You settled down next to him, the warmth of your skin reaching his own. Nothing could be heard other than your breathings, not even the cars outside or the sound of the busy city that hid you. And for the first time in a long time, Bucky felt relaxed with someone he didnât know from the past. Â
"Iâm James."Â Â
He couldâve sworn he heard you smile before you gave him your name.Â
Now Â
"What the fuck are you doing here, Barnes?"Â Â
The music was still on, as were the blue and red lights that lighted up the darkness in the room. Bucky could feel the breeze of your breath on his face and the smell of expensive whisky and tobacco in every word you said. He wasnât surprised, the man that you knocked out probably tried to impress you with them. Â
But behind the traces of blood, alcohol, and gunpowder, he could smell your shampoo. The same peony smell mixed with lavander filled his nostrils, and it brought him back to the many nights you had spent together. Your fingers were drawing circles on the skin of his back, and his nose was buried in your hair. Â
You, on the other hand, were reminded of the suffering he caused you with every passing second. Â
"I told you to stay away from me," you muttered. Â
Your hand pressed the edge of the blade on his skin, and you were sure if you kept going you were going to start drawing out blood, but you couldnât care less. Bucky Barnes had always been an expert at instilling unwanted emotions in you, and it was difficult to keep those emotions at bay right now.Â
You felt anger. You felt resentment. You felt pure, long-lasting hatred. Â
"Maybe I should slit your throat right now, thatâll make you stay away from me permanently."Â Â
Your words were intimidating, filled with the same promise you had made him that fateful night. This was his chance, his chance at the apology that had died out in his throat when you closed the door behind him. This was the chance he had chased in his dreams for almost a year. Â
But he couldnât say anything. Â
He loved you. God, he loved you so much. He missed seeing your face other than in the few pictures he kept or in the memories that did no justice. Because even now, as you threatened to kill him, you were a dream come true, just like the first time he saw you.Â
"Say something!"Â Â
"Youâre beautiful."Â Â
Your grip faltered on the knife, your eyebrows slightly furrowing at his words. Â
No, he couldnât do this. He couldnât come back out of nowhere, say some cheesy, basic compliment, and make the walls of hate you had built crumble. Even if he had only managed to knock down one brick, he didn't deserve it. You knew it, he knew it, and everyone else who knew what happened between you two knew it. Â
Then why did your heart flutter at his words? Â
"Hey," Sam said, breaking the silence, your head snapping in his direction."I know heâs an asshole, but I would appreciate it if you didnât kill my partner."Â Â
You look back at Bucky for a few seconds before giving up, throwing your knife to the floor. Sam leaned over, his hand extended to help Bucky get up.Your murderous eyes went from Bucky to Sams, your gaze softening at his friend. Â
"I told you to only contact me in emergencies," you grumbled. Â
A hiss left your lips when you touched your arm, one of the bullet wounds was still seeping blood. Bucky thought about telling you something, but this time he listened to the rational part of his brain that told him to shut the fuck up. Â
"Believe me, if we had a choice, we wouldnât have come," Sam said. Â
Your eyes flickered between both men, not convinced about helping them. Well, on helping the blue eyed super soldier. A pathetic excuse for why you couldnât help them died on your lips once you saw his blue eyes. Please, help us they begged. Â
You didnât owe him anything. You shouldnât help him, but in the back of your head, Steveâs voice rang through. Good olâ Steve Rogers and his everlasting moral lessons. That's what we have to do, he said.Â
So you put aside your feelings because helping people mattered more than an idiot who broke your heart. Â
"What do you want?" You sighed. Â
"Weâre looking into something... odd. A bunch of pregnant women missing, still in their early stages of pregnancy. Most of them show up dead after giving birth, but the babies are nowhere to be found."Â Â
You shrug. "They take the kids, so?"Â Â
It was cold, you were aware of it. But after the things you had seen, the things you had done, you were aware that people kidnapping woman for their babies wasnât something out of the ordinary, let alone something that required Captain America to look into it. Things like that were always forgotten, pushed back into a slew of cases alongside more missing women.Â
"They had traces of the super serum."Â Â
Fuck. Â
You laughed. A joyless, cynical type of laugh. Destiny, of course, had to be a jerk.Â
"Are you saying thatâ?" Sam couldnât finish his sentence, the thought sending chills along his spine. Â
"Yeah."Â Â
The air is somber between the three of you. Sure, the flag smashers were a problem when they appeared, as you knew from all the news reports you'd seen.People with ten times the strength of a normal human being were dangerous, especially if they were associated with a terrorist organization.Â
This was different, though. This was sinister. Â
Groans coming from the top floor broke the eeriness that surrounded you, making you finally remember why you were here. You tore apart part of the black dress that was once pristine and wrapped it around your arm. Â
"Look at this guy over there," you said, motioning behind you. "He has intel on this, heâs the one that gets the girls and delivers them."Â Â
"Well, letâs take him in andâ"Â Â
You cut Sam off. "No. Look, you came looking for me because this is my specialty. I know how to handle guys like him, and I sure as hell know he wonât tell us shit if we take him to a precinct and threaten him with some jail time. Heâs a big fish. A few phone calls and heâll be out in no time." They knew you were right, but they didnât like your arguments. "We do this my way, or you better pray you find them before I do."Â Â
Sam looked hesitant. He knew what you were going to do to the man, and his good conscience chastised him for even thinking of letting you torture someone. But the rational part, the part that knew that in this case there wasnât much of an option, knew that they needed you, and perhaps you also needed them. Â
"Just, donât kill him." Sam said before walking away. Â
Compromise. You could do compromise. Â
"Fine," you said, rolling your eyes.Â
After Sam slammed the door shut on his way out, you were reminded of the fact that you weren't alone. Buckyâs eyes were already looking at you, the same apologetic eyes you had seen before you kicked him in the chest. Â
"Thanks for helping us." He spoke, thinking it was an appropriate way to break the ice, but it only managed to make you scoff. Â
"Letâs make something clear, Iâm not doing this for you." you spat. "Iâm doing this because Sam needs my help and so we can save those innocent girls and stop any more from being taken. This doesnât change anything between us, as soon as this is over, you go back to leaving me the fuck alone, got it?"Â Â
Say something. Fight for her. Explain what happened, his mind begged him. Â
But he couldnât, because even if it had been almost a year since he last saw you, he was still the same coward who let you walk away without a fight. Â
So he agreed. Â
"Yeah."Â Â
"Good. Iâll meet you outside."Â
Then Â
"Thanks for the coffee." Bucky said before taking a sip. Â
Droplets of water fell from his forehead, a strand of unruly black hair was hanging on the side of his eyebrows. The towel that hung from his waist, showing his torso all the way down to that sculpted V of his abdomen, made it too difficult to concentrate on the files you were trying to organize. Â
The man was hotter than the sun. Â
"No problem." you smiled at him.  Â
You had no idea it would be the best and worst decision you'd ever made when you suggested Bucky stay with you while Steve went to rescue the others.You liked Bucky, and the few days you spent with him while Steve and the others gathered everything they needed so they could go find Zemo had been nice. Sure, he was a man of a few words, but it didnât bother you. It was weirdly comforting to be able to enjoy someoneâs company in silence. And the times he spoke, he did it out of pure curiosity, curiosity about the world, about what had happened while he was in the ice, but mostly about you. Â
He asked about your cases, how you met Steve, and how you came to partner with some of the most powerful people in the world. He asked about your life, about your childhood in the orphanage, and what made you choose to help people. He asked so many questions, yet he still respected you when you didnât want to answer some of them. He asked, not to pry, but to get to know you, and in return, when you asked him something, he was as honest as he felt comfortable being. Â
And that was the problem. No matter how much you tried, you knew your days with Bucky Barnes were numbered. Ever since you were young, you knew that being in this line of work would prevent you from having a normal life. You couldn't have a normal relationship. You werenât meant to have the love story your favorite movies portraited, the white picket fence and the family of five wasnât in your future. Â
Neither was he, maybe in the forties he wouldâve came home from war and found himself a pretty girl to marry. But now, after everything he had seen and everything he had unwillingly done, he probably wouldn't want a relationship any time soon. Or maybe not at all. Â
But after three weeks of being cramped up in the same little apartment, you were getting used to him. You had developed a little routine together that always ended up with a cup of coffee at the end of the day. Sometimes both of you would just sit in silence, taking in each other's company while you sipped on your cups. Other times, just like now, he would sit next to you as you watched whatever movie you had decided to put on. Â
You had to cut this at the root before it became too hard to let go. Â
"So, youâre going to Wakanda?"Â Â
He sighs. "Yeah. Steve says they have someone that might be able to help with... help with my..."Â Â
"I know." You finished for him, suddenly placing your hand on top of his. He tensed at your touch, both of you looking down at your hands before you took away yours, embarrassed at your own lack of control. "Well, if youâre not too busy there, I could go visit you sometimes."Â Â
"You would?" he questioned. Â
"If you want me, too," you shrugged, trying not to reveal your excitement.Â
He looked at you, his thoughts unreadable through his face. For a moment, you thought he was going to reject your offer, but something changed in his eyes. He smiled, the faintest, littlest hint of a smile you had seen, but it was there. Â
You made him smile for the first time. Â
"Yeah. Iâd like that."Â Â
If someone were to ask Bucky when he first felt he could love you, it would be right now. With the dim light of the TV lighting up your face and a shy smile on your lips as you told him you were willing to travel such a long distance just to see him. Â
And as you lay next to him, your head against his shoulder, you thought to yourself that maybe you could be selfish for once and allow yourself to enjoy his company a bit more.Â
Now Â
There were drops of water leaking out of a pipe, he could hear them from the other side of the room. Everything around him was dark, it seemed the only source of light was on top of him and the woman on the floor pleading for her life. Â Â
"Please donât do this," she begged with a Spanish accent. "I donât want to die, please." Â Â
He wanted to move, he wanted to throw away the gun in his hand, but it was like he was a spectator of his own life. His body was not his, or his breathing. Not even his heartbeat listened to the inner panic attack he was having. Nothing belonged to him.  Â
"Kill her," a distorted voice told him. His eyes glanced at him quickly, and he noticed the man had no face. No one around them had one. Â Â
Everything felt like it was in slow motion. His finger moved, pressing the trigger of the gun, but he refused to give up. He had to try, even if his own consciousness was trying to kick him out, sucking him into the pool of darkness he had been resting in for a long time. Â Â
But even if he tried for years, he couldnât win. He was powerless.  Â
Broken.  Â
He could only witness how the other "him" obeyed. The woman's eyes changed from scared to lifeless in less than a second. A splash of crimson staining his combat boots kept his attention. He couldnât hear what the other people in the room were saying, he didnât exist anymore, or he didnât want to. The sound of the water leak was deafening now. Growing louder and louder until it consumed everything around him  Â
He didnât want to be awake. Not like this.  Â
And as he felt himself disappearing, he hoped this was the last time he came back to the surface. He would rather be surrounded by emptiness.  Â
Yet something interrupted him, pulling him back up.  Â
A woman's voice, so familiar it made his heartbeat change.  Â
"Bucky!"Â Â
Bucky's eyes opened wide. His head was spinning, his breathing was rapid, and his heart felt like it was going to burst through his chest. The adrenaline in his system made him dizzy, and he could feel his hands shaking. And he was feeling. A lot. Scared, angry, hopeless. So many emotions constricted his chest, burying him under their weight. Â
"Bucky," you repeated. His head snapped at you, showing you a pair of wide, terrified eyes. Â
Your feet almost moved. A pure protective instinct filled you with dread at the fact that you couldnât help him anymore. Your head and your heart were in conflict. In one hand your heart begged you to go to him, stroke his back as you peppered kisses along his shoulder. Then you would lie back in bed while your hands surrounded his body, your front pressed to his back in a way to say, Iâm here, I love you, and everything will be alright. Â
On the other hand, your brain told you to turn in the other direction. Walk away from the night terrors that plagued his mind and let him suffer in silence. He wasn't your responsibility anymore, and you shouldn't be concerned about helping him with whatever was wrong with him.Â
Was it possible to hate and care about someone at the same time? Â
"Nightmares?" you couldnât help yourself from asking.Â
His left hand rubbed his eyes, a sigh leaving his lips. "Yeah. Sorry if I woke you up."Â Â
"You didnât."Â Â
You sat at the table in front of the couch he was lying on, a steaming cup of lavender tea between your hands. The cling of the spoon clashing against the ceramic filled the uncomfortable silence between you. Â
"Whereâs Sam?" he asked, sitting straight as a couple of droplets of sweat fell down his forehead. Â
"He has a contact in the city. He left to meet them."Â Â
"Oh."Â Â
Whatever else he was about to say died on his lips. You noticed he seemed to do that often since meeting again, his eyes speaking the words he would never say. Sometimes you would catch him looking at you, the frown on his forehead deepening with the passing of time. It made you wonder if he would now be open to answering your questions. Â
"He said youâre going to therapy."Â Â
He was taken aback by your question. It probably was the first time you said more than the necessary to him. Also, it was the first time that you showed any sort of interest in his life. Â
"Uh, yeah. Court mandated."Â Â
You hummed, sipping on your tea. Â
"Does it work?"Â Â
You saw the hesitance in his eyes. The way his jaw clenched and his grip on the couch made his knuckles white made you think he was about to change the subject with a witty, bitter, or sarcastic remark, or maybe even just ignore the question at all. You wouldnât be surprised if he did, by the end of your relationship, he was an expert in it. Â
Bucky didnât change much after all, you thought to yourself Â
But he broke the silence. Â
"In some ways." he started, his gaze dropping to the floor. "The nightmares donât come as often anymore, and I donât feel the need to shoot every asshole that drives a shitty car with a shitty exhaust pipe." You chuckled at his confession, making a slight smirk show on his face. "But sheâs too much."Â Â
"What do you mean?"Â Â
He sighed. "She pisses me off. I hate that she keeps trying to make me feel better by just saying my life is better now and I shouldnât feel like shit anymore. But itâs not that easy. Just like itâs not easy to follow the stupid set of rules she gave me."Â Â
He looked up to see your reaction to his words, expecting to see the same hardened look youâve given him the past couple of weeks. And it was just that what greeted his eyes, your lips slightly pressed together and your eyes decorated with a slight scowl that only showed up for him. Â
But behind the tough exterior, he could see your eyes had softened. For a brief second, your eyes showed care and understanding to what he siad before going back to the usual void stare you gave him. Â
"She sounds like a bad therapist." He shrugged in agreement, he couldnât say anything against the truth. "She also sounds like a bitch."Â Â
He laughed. The type of laugh that caught him off guard and made his lungs run out of air. Granted, your joke mightâve not been as funny as his laugh was giving it credit for, but he had always been fond of your bluntness. Â
You couldnât help but laugh with him too. Â
Laughing with Bucky felt foreign yet so familiar at the same time. It felt like reminiscing on a memory you didnât remember you had, a bittersweet memory that brought back the same good feeling of the memories you built together Â
But moments like that couldnât last forever. Your heart couldnât afford to remember. Â
A text message from Sam lit up your screen, saying his contact had useful information. You stood up from the table after texting him back and drank the rest of the cup's contents.Â
"You should try to get some sleep, we have a long day ahead."Â Â
His shoulders dropped slightly. Â
"Yeah, youâre right. Iâll try to."Â Â
With nothing left to say, you walked away, leaving Bucky in the loneliness of the night. Â Â
You didnât go right away to the room you had adopted as your own, though. He heard you going through the kitchen, a dim sound of clinking and pouring reaching him due to his enhanced hearing. He didn't think anything of it; maybe you needed more tea before going to bed.Â
Your steps brought you back to him before you placed an object on the coffee table right beside him. Â
A cup of lavender tea.Â
Then Â
"Itâs kinda late to be outside, huh?"Â Â
Bucky jolted at the sound of your voice, your presence taking him by surprise. He was completely sure that when he left a couple of hours ago his house was empty and you hadnât sent a message of your arrival.  Â
Something had happened? Was someone injured? Were you in trouble? Â
His questions died on his lips as you cut the space between you and him short, your arms tightly embracing him. Your head found its place in the crook of his neck, his long hair falling on your face. His hands took a second to respond, but they eventually wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest. Â
You stayed like that for what felt like ages, just taking in each other's warmth. He missed you, even if he tried to deny it every time his thoughts would wander to you. He tried to convince himself that his reclusion made him miss everyone he considered a friend, and in a world where everyone seemed to want him dead, you were one of the few people he trusted. Â
He had been staying in Wakanda for nearly six months, and out of those six months, you had visited him at least once every month. The duration of your trip would vary, sometimes you would stay only a few hours, with most of your time spent in his hut while sharing stories of the outside and his progress. Other times, you'd stay for days, with the longest stay being a week and a half. In those cases, he would show you the surroundings, the forest that surrounded the back of his hut or take you on a long walk alongside the river that crossed his home. Sometimes you'd sit outside and stare at the stars, your only company being the animals and the flora.Â
He also came to hate every time you would leave, feeling like a part of himself was leaving with you. Â
One of his hands landed on the side of your hips, the other searching for your face.Your grip on him grew tighter once his fingers brushed the skin on your face but you eventually let go, allowing his hand to guide you slightly away from him. Â
"What happened?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Â
You didnât respond, but one look into your eyes, and he knew the answer. Whatever it was, it had affected you to the core, the broken look in your eyes could only be compared to the one he saw every time he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Â
His forehead rested on yours, both your eyes closing at the contact. Â
"Itâs ok. I got you."Â Â
His hand found yours as he guided you toward his bed. It wasnât until then that he noticed you still had your tactical gear on, dirt and crystals still hiding in some places. He grabbed the buckle of your vest, his eyes asking for permission to get it off. A slight nod gave him the confirmation, beginning the process of somewhat freeing you of the events you had seen. He got rid of his own garments too, leaving you both standing in front of yourselves with only underwear covering you. He dragged you into bed, your frames covered by the light white sheets on his bed.Â
Not many times had he allowed himself to think of you in a sexual manner, knowing how his body would react in a lustful way. But as he found himself looking at you with barely any clothes on, the desire was left on the back burner of his brain. You needed him. You needed his comfort, and he was more than willing to give it to you. Â
He would give you anything you asked for. Â
His hand rested on your face, tracing circles across your cheek, your eyes closed at the soothing action. Â
"Iâm sorry." Your voice trembled. He could see you wanted to say more, but words failed to come out of your mouth Â
Buckyâs heart ached. He had never seen you in such a vulnerable state, and his mind was going cray at the thought of not being able to do anything to help you. Â
"Itâs ok, sunshine. You donât have to talk about it."Â Â
So you lay there, head against his chest, as he kept you between his arms, with nothing other than the sound of the crickets outside his hut surrounding you. And for the first time in a long time, you felt what being loved felt like. Â
That night, you kissed him for the first time. You didnât stop, not even the next morning when he woke you up with breakfast already made and a cup of lavender tea.Â
 Now Â
"Bring him to the table!" you yelled. Â
Your hand swept across the surface, knocking over every piece of paper, pencil, and piece of equipment. The vibrations of the heavier objects on the concrete floors matched the beating of your heart. Â
Bucky dropped Sam on the table. The man had gone unconscious on the ride to the safe house, the bullet wound that oozed liquid crimson was most likely the cause.The same crimson color now stains Bucky's clothes, and his leather gloves were also covered in a thin layer of it. Â
You brought your knife to slash through his clothes, the sharp metal cutting through them as if they were butter. The hole on his shoulder seemed to have no exit, the bullet was still inside him. You were glad Sam wasnât conscious for the next hour. Â
The super soldier hovered over you for the entirety of the time you spent cleaning through the fragments that splintered from the bullet. Everything went relatively well until Sam started waking up, his body contorting in pain as you dug through his wound. Bucky brought him a bottle of vodka while you injected him with some local anesthesia. Â
Hours later, the wounded man was now resting on the only bed the safehouse had, his breathing bringing great comfort as it meant he was still alive. After half a bottle of vodka and a some painkillers diluted on his IV, you were sure he wouldnât wake up until tomorrow. Â
The faucet sprayed cold water onto your palms. Your nails desperately tried to scrape away the traces of blood that still lingered in your skin, leaving red marks all across your knuckles. Dirt and dried blood were trapped underneath your fingernails, and no matter how much you tried to dig it out, it would stay right there. Â
Buckyâs footsteps brought you out of your trance, the heavy sound of his combat boots felt deafening with each step he took. You tried to tune him out, focusing once again on the sound of water, but it seemed as if Bucky had made it his purpose to be as loud as possible. You held onto the sink so strongly that you were sure it would snap. Â
A deep rage came from your stomach, spreading all over your body. The anger constricted your chest in such a way that you werenât sure if somehow you were buried under a collapsed building, its weight invisibly crushing you. Â
It was his fault. It was all his fault. Â
You didnât remember walking outside the bathroom, nor did you remember walking up to him and slapping away the cup of water his hand held. Â
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you barked at him. Â
"Iâ"Â Â
"I gave you one task. You had to wait until I gave you the signal so you could come in. Not guns blazing, not punching everyone that comes your way, not drawing everyone's attention to us. Your only fucking job was to wait for the distributor to show up and wait for my goddamn signal."Â Â
"What did you want me to do? Just stand there and do nothing?" he argued. Â
You were taken aback by his response. Part of you expected him to just let you scream at him and give you the same soft eyes he always gave you when you spoke to him.You weren't expecting him to snap back at you or to defend himself.Â
Maybe if things hadnât gone sour between you two, you wouldâve listened to what he said, and in return, he wouldâve listened to you. But the anger was too strong to be subdued. Â
"I wanted you to follow the fucking plan."Â Â
"He was about to torture you!"Â Â
Bucky's thoughts returned to the old factory turned whorehouse.The way you had purposefully gotten caught and how they had tied you to an exposed pipe line. He could still hear the sound of the manâs hand smashing against your cheek. Â
"I can handle myself! I told you guys to stay put until the distributor was there. He knows Iâm after him, and this was our only chance to catch him. And now heâs god knows where and Sam got fucking shot."Â Â
A heartbeat passed before Bucky came close to your face. His big frame towered over you, and his breathing hit your face. Â
"Youâre fucking delusional if you think I was just going to let anything happen to you."Â Â
You scoffed, "Oh, so now you care?"Â Â
"Iâve always cared."Â Â
You pulled away from him, your eyes rolling at his pathetic words. Â
"Sure."Â Â
Perhaps it was the fact that you had been in danger no longer than a couple of hours ago, or maybe it was the heat of the fight that had left some residues on him. Whatever it was, it made Bucky courageous enough to reach for your arm. Â
"Look at me."Â Â
You swatted him away. Â
"Donât fucking touch me."Â Â
But this time he wasn't going down without a fight.Not again. Â
"I know I was an asshole at the end of our relationship, but that doesnât mean I donât care for you anymore."Â Â
A bitter laugh came out of you. All of this had to be some sick joke. "When you care about someone, you donât treat them like that. You didnât care about me, and you sure as hell didnât love me."Â Â
His hand tried to touch you again, and this time you let him. You were tired. Tired of fighting with him. You closed your eyes as soon as his skin came in contact with yours, his touch consuming all of your senses. Â
You opened your eyes to find him staring back at you, the blue eyes that once hurt you shining the same way they did the first time you kissed him. Â
"I did love you," he whispered into your lips. "I still do."Â Â
His words burned you like someone had branded you with hot iron in the chest.Even after all this time, he could still hurt you, Why couldnât he just leave you alone? Why did he have to bring back the past you so fiercely tried to leave behind? Â
"Donât." Your lower lip quivered. "Y-you can't just break my heart and then come back into my life and just say you still love me."Â Â
"I never stopped loving you."Â Â
Those five words were all it took to tear down what little control you had over yourself. A year ago it would've broken you to hear them but now they only brought a deep sense of indignation.Â
With a quick move, you pulled his hand away from you, your hands pushing against his chest until he hit the wall. You wanted him to hurt. You wanted to carve his heart out of his ribcage and throw it far away, maybe then he would understand what it felt like. Â
"Where was your love when I needed it, huh? Where was your love when I had no one else? Where was your love when I reached for you every night but you were already gone? Where was your love when I begged you to love me, to be there for me?" Your hands were clutching his jacket, and your vision was blurred by tears."Where the fuck was your love when you brought that girl to your apartment?"Â Â
Bucky never saw you like this, not even when he stomped on your heart with his indifference. Under the anger, the hate, and the surface indifference you showed him, he could see how broken you were. He could see how you were constantly struggling to put the pieces of yourself back together that he had torn apart.Â
He hated himself for extinguishing parts of you.Â
"Iâm sorry."Â Â
A lapse of judgment. Â
Thatâs what you would tell anyone who asked you why you kissed Bucky that night. You would say that you had been blinded by the pure rage his mere presence would bring you. Or perhaps you would take the easy route and you would say that with everything that happened that night, almost being tortured and Sam getting hurt, you had acted in a primitive instict of searching comfort. Â
The truth was different. You could lie to yourself and say that you didnât needed Bucky, not after all the things he had done. You lied to yourself constantly when you told yourself you were over him. You also lied to yourself when you claimed that your one-night stands had fulfilled you in the same way that Bucky had.Â
You couldnât feel anything, not ever since you walked out of his apartment. You had tried different people, different cities. You had tried different alcohols and different drugs. You had tried anything that could help you fill the emptiness that had found a permanent home inside you. You felt nothing, not until you saw those cerulean eyes again. Â
Your kiss was aggressive, your lips smashing against his with strength and your hands finding their place in the back of his head. It took a second for Bucky to kiss you back as he thought his mind was playing tricks with him. But after you pressed yourself against his chest, his body reacted on muscle memory alone, his arms surrounding your waist. Â
It wasnât what you expected, though. You thought that the specks of love that remained between you would be enough to bring back whatever it was that you were missing. Instead, you were met with the most intense hatred you've ever felt, mixed with the melancholy of what could've been.Â
He tasted like the past, but he still hurt like the present. Â
So you made a decision.If you couldn't bring yourself to love Bucky Barnes anymore, you would hate him with all that remained of your soul. You would hate him until both of you burned in the flames of your agony. You'd despise him until you'd ripped every part that matched the ones he'd so easily broken.Â
"I hate you," you whispered between kisses. "I fucking hate you."Â Â
Your words were daggers to his heart. His chest tightened, and his grip on you faltered for a second before he snapped out of it. This wasnât about him. If you needed to tell him how much you despised him, he would gladly let you kill him with your words. It was the least you deserved. Â
"I know," he mumbled against your lips. Â
He felt your body guiding him through the room until the back of his legs hit against the couch where he would sleep. Your hands pushed against his chest, making him sit on the couch while you straddled his lap. Â
Clothes flew across the room, and you found yourself tearing his shirt apart in two while he only pulled yours off.You'd worry about that later; right now, nothing was more important than feeling your skin against his.Â
Your hands traveled over his chest, fingers grazing every part of his abdomen as you trailed down to his zipper. You palmed him over his jeans, his cock already hard, and you felt it twitch against the fabric with every touch you gave him. Groans left Buckyâs lips. Â
"I hate you," you repeated as a mantra. Â
He shouldnât make you feel this way, but as you see his head going back when your hand opened his fly and found itâs place around his cock you felt your own desire pooling in your lower belly and the aching in your core became unbearable. Â
With swift movements, Bucky got rid of his pants and his underwear while you remained on top of him. With your frame still covered by a black lace bra and your black tactical pants on, he couldn't help but feel exposed when he looked at you.Deciding he didnât wanted to be the only one naked his hands went to the side of your hips in efforts to get you rid of the fabric but your hand swatted him away. Â
Beg me, your eyes said. Â
For a moment, he considered tearing your pants apart the same way you had done with his shirt. However, the seriousness behind your eyes warned him that he might end things too soon if his stubbornness got in the way. So he gave in. Â
"Please, Sunshine." His hands gripped your waist, his hips grinding against your still-wrapped core, sending shivers down your spine."Please, let me see you."Â Â
You relented, unbuttoning your pants and throwing them away with your panties. In what were the longest seconds of Buckyâs life, you unclasped your bra, finally getting rid of the last barrier your body held on to. Â
You stood there, completely naked, staring at Bucky.He remembered the way your breasts felt when he held them. He remembered how soft your skin was. He remembered that if he bit on the skin of your neck, right where the jugular is, you would clench around him. He remembered. In the lonely nights when he needed some release, he would close his eyes and imagine your lips around his cock as he fisted himself in the solitude of his apartment.Â
All those memories didnât compare to watching you in the flesh, with hungry, hateful eyes on him as you walked back to straddle him again. Â
His cock twitched once your legs fell to his sides, the heat of your body settling on his crotch. You sat on top of him, your wetness welcoming him once you lowered yourself. His length placed itself right between your lips, and a groan left him. Â
"Fuck."Â Â
Your hips began rocking in slow but sharp motions as he felt his cock coated with your slick. Slowly, you built up a rhythm that made both of you moan. His hands landed again on your hips, his fingers pressing on your skin in a way that was certain to leave bruises the next day. Your own hands gripped on Buckyâs biceps for stability, and you squeezed them every time you would feel him brushing against your clit. Â
You felt amazing on top of him, but that wasnât what made his heart pound against his chest. Â
It was your eyes. Your eyes never left him, no matter how much pleasure you were pulling from both of you and how badly you wanted to roll your eyes as the coil inside of you tightened. Your eyes, which once showed him what love could look like, now looked at him with a simmering hatred he could not shake. Â
His chest tightened at the thought of never seeing them again. The electricity that ran through his body was replaced by a deep sense of hopelessness, and the more he kept his gaze on you, the more it amplified. You mustâve sensed the change in him because your movements stopped. Â
Broken eyes now stared at you with the ghost of tears in them. The anger that had driven your actions and your thoughts through all this had now subsided, allowing itself to mix with melancholy. Â Â
I love you. Iâm sorry. I miss you. His eyes said. Â
I hate you. Iâll never forgive you. I wish I never met you. Yours answered. Â
And in the middle of the lust that was taking place right on the couch, both of your hearts broke again. Â
You pulled him back for a kiss that tasted of desperation and sorrow as tears fell from both your eyes. The saltiness of the tears bled into the kiss and mixed with it.Quickly, your hand guided his tip to your entrance. You needed him inside you like a person lost in the desert needs water. You craved him with every cell in your body, and it tore your heart apart. Â
"So tight." He moaned in your mouth as you sank into him. Â
The stretch of his length burned as you forced yourself to take him fully. It hurt, and even with your arousal completely covering him, you weren't prepared to take his thick length.You didnât care though, you hoped it would make you forget your heartbreak. Bucky tried to stop you as he felt you struggling to take him in. His hands held your waist, but you shook your head before you started bouncing on him. Â
You didnât want love from him. You didnât want tenderness or care. You wanted roughness. You wanted strength and aggressiveness until the only thing you could feel was the ache between your legs. Â
The super soldier gave you what you wanted. Â
Buckyâs pace was brutal, his cock hitting the sweet spot only he could reach. The sound of his hips colliding with yours filled the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing through the hallway outside.In the back of his mind, Bucky was thankful Sam was knocked out with meds so he could be spared from the obscene orchestra your bodies played. Â
The pain quickly turned into pleasure. Your walls hugged him tightly, each thrust carried a strength that left you breathless. At some point your legs had given in, the only reason why you kept bouncing was the snap of his hips pushing you. He didnât let go of you though, instead he pushed you against his chest in an embrace that surrounded you tightly. Â
Your head rested against his while your hands stayed on his chest. The sadness that mixed with the pleasure numbed everything else except for the bubbling up of your release. It pained you to admit that no one else could make you feel like Bucky, you had tried to find someone who could replicate what his touch could do for you, but no one ever came close. Â
You hated how much you missed him and how much you needed him. Â
"I wish you wouldâve stayed dead." you panted. The poison behind your words shredded his heart. He knew you were saying it to hurt him, he knew you didnât mean it, but the conviction behind it felt like a kick in the chest. "I wish we never brought you back."Â Â
"Me too." he finally admitted. Â
Bucky felt your walls constrict around him, and he could tell you were close. He drew you in for one last kiss, the kind that took your breath away. The type of kiss that was a solace in a world of agony. The type of kiss that meant a promise that carried forever. Â
You tightened around him as you came, and his thrusts slowed down as he rode you through your high. As you closed your eyes, more tears fell from the corners, so he reached out to wipe them away.Once you had recovered a little, his brutal pace came back, this time chasing his own release. You brought your lips to kiss his neck, feathery, soft kisses, and he felt his balls tightening. He was so close. Â
He tried to pull out so he could fist himself to the end but you didnât budge, instead whispering in his ear. Â
"Inside."Â Â
He came harder than he had done in the last year. You felt his cock twitching inside as he covered your walls with his cum, the mess between your release and his own dripping out of you. You kept bouncing on top of him, making sure to return the favor by guiding him all the way through the end. Â
You stood up, the feeling of emptiness making you shudder when his cock left you, and his cum started leaking out of you. You turned to go find something to clean yourself up, but his metal hand stopped you. He guided you back to the couch before he walked towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back with a towel, and he positioned himself right between your legs. Â
He cleaned you up just like he had done for so many years before.His other hand caressed your thigh as he made sure to wipe everything. And just as he always did for years, once he finished, he kissed your inner thigh, a couple of inches away from your pussy. Â
Bucky threw the towel to the floor, he would worry about it in the morning.As for right now, the only thing he wanted was to hold you close. So he did. He thanked the couch was big enough to fit you both as you layed together. He pulled the blanket he used to warm himself every night over you, and his arm surrounded your waist, his grip making your back settle against his front. His left hand traced lazy circles over your stomach while the other was used as your pillow. Â
For a few seconds, both of you allowed yourselves to reminisce in the past. He kissed the top of your head as you snuggled against him like you usually did. And as you felt his warmth behind you and inhaled his scent, everything seemed to be alright once again. Â
Except they werenât. Bucky wasnât the man who made you feel secure anymore, and you werenât the woman who trusted him with all her heart. Both of them belonged to the past. Â
"I donât love you anymore. I will never love you again." you broke the silence. Â
Bucky held you tighter as his heart broke once again. Â
"I donât deserve your love." He whispered. "But Iâll still love you forever."Â
Then Â
Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy.  Â
It wasnât all bad, though. For many years you had been together, three and a half to be exact, where you could imagine a life with. Three years where there was no one you trusted more or preferred to be with.Three years that were the happiest of your life. Â
Those were a few of the reasons why he had asked you to marry him. And those were also a few of the reasons why you had said yes. Â
You had told yourself at the beginning that you couldnât get attached to him for the safety of your heart. It didnât matter that his touch felt like home or that during the times you spent apart, his eyes would be the only comfort you would find in your dreams. He would bring more heartbreak than love. Â
Oh, how right you had been. Â
Unfortunately for you, the heartbreak would come in a way you couldnât have prevented. Â
The snap came and took him away from you. One second he was standing next to you, the next he was turning into dust that flew into the wind. The last thing he had said was your name and after that half the population was gone. Â
The years went by in a blur. Between nights filled with drugs and alcohol and days spent cramped up in your apartment, you were wallowing in the type of sadness that the rest of the population could understand. You kept your ring in your finger, it reminding you that what your memories craved for were real. Â
Bucky had been real. Â
With his departure, he had also taken your heart.Â
After a particularly bad night where you crashed your vehicle into a contention bar, Tony had taken it upon himself to help you, offering you a home close to his secluded one. You took it, not because you wanted to get better but because you wanted solitude. But if life had taught you anything about Tony Stark, it was that he was as stubborn as they come. Â
Every morning he would bring you breakfast along with a visit from a certain little baby that always wanted to be held by you, and sometimes she would be able to bring a small smile to your face. With time, the little baby turned into a little girl that would ask for a sleepover every once in a while, and you would gladly accept the offer to allow Tony and Pepper a night alone. Â
Things got better. You visited Steve and Natasha at the compound and even allowed yourself to go in missions of your own, as it turned out not even The Snap could make criminals take a break. You even went to one of Steveâs depressing support group meetings, never returning for the next one. Â
You couldnât be strong all the time, though. Some nights, when the pain was so strong that it drowned you and the grief was too powerful to keep at bay, you would find yourself staring at the hundreds of pictures you had taken of him. Most of them were of you together, but there were a few you took when he wasnât looking. The sunset behind him as he breathed in the clean air of Wakanda, or the small smile on his face as he tasted the food he cooked for you both.Even when he was reading some of the books he kept under his bed and a few wrinkles would show on his forehead as his whole focus remained in the text, he always looked beautiful. Â
With time, everything felt like a routine. Waking up alone, eating alone, going outside alone. Sleeping alone. Everything seemed to be stable, not good or bad, but just stable. You were sure this was the best you could do, or at least the best it could get. Â
That is, until a ray of hope appeared.Â
Time travel was the answer. Taken as a whole, it seemed like something out of a science fiction film, but it made sense.Bring the stones back and along with them everyone that had died. Surprisingly, it had worked, everyone that had been snapped away came back just as they had left. It should have been a moment of joy. It should've. Â
The thing about hope is that it comes with a price. Natasha and Tony were the price to pay. Â
Steve left shortly after. Â
You understood him. You understood why he left everything and everyone behind to go live a life with the woman he had always loved. You would be a liar if you said you wouldnât have done the same if you were in his position. You understood why he did it but it still hurt to know you werenât enough of a reason to stay and live a life together. Â
It seemed like you were on a streak of losing people. Wherever you turned, more people kept leaving your life. Wanda was gone, turned into the madness that grief could bring. Thor left to save other planets that needed him. Bruce... well, you werenât sure where Bruce was, but he didnât try to contact you. Â Â
Everyone was gone but Sam and Bucky. Â
Bucky. Your Bucky. The man you had spent the past five years crying for. The man who made you the happiest you'd ever felt.The man who felt like home. Â
But he wasn't your Bucky any longer.Â
This Bucky didnât kiss you with the same tenderness he did so many years ago. Instead, he'd barely move his lips once yours touched his in what you'd call a mediocre peck.He also never initiated a kiss, it was you who always reached out for him. Â
This Bucky didnât held you at night. Instead, he'd turn around, his back to you, and even if you reached for him between dreams, he'd guide your hand back to your side of the bed.Some nights, he would even choose to sleep on the floor of the living room when he thought you were asleep. It was as if the thought of touching you seemed appalling to him. Â
This Bucky never hugged you.Â
This Bucky never talked to you with love only with annoyance and indifference. Â
This Bucky never woke you up with breakfast. Â
This Bucky never tried to sleep with you. Â
This Bucky never said I love you. Â
Because this Bucky didnât love you. Â
But you held hope, foolishly. Every day you tried to talk to him, show him in every possible way that you were still here with him. Every day you tried to make things better between you, you poured your heart and soul to try to fix what you didnât even know was broken. Â
Things got worse a couple of months later.  Â
As it turned out, time had taken a toll on Steveâs body, and one night he went to bed and never woke up. You found it a bit ironic the man out of time had finally run out of time. Â
His funeral was held on a sunny spring afternoon. People from all over the world showed up to say their final goodbyes to the man who had saved the world so many times. Friends, people he had saved, and heroes paid their respects to him. The first super soldier had finally been put to rest. Â
After everyone had cleared out, you went back to drop one last token for his departure. It was a picture of the both of you. Steveâs arm hung over your shoulders while both of you held a couple of beers. It had been the first time you had seen Steve outside of work related situations. That was the beginning of your friendship. Â
As you got back to his tombstone, you saw Bucky standing in front of it. His eyes were void of any expression, and he didnât seem to be talking to Steveâs grave either. Bucky was just there, staring at the place where his best friend was buried. Â
He didnât seem to notice when you stood next to him, nothing in his body gave any signs of acknowledgement. You gave him a couple of minutes before you reached for his hand. You knew that, even if he didnât show it, he was in great pain. He had lost his last connection to the life he had once lived. Â
You wanted to be there to help him through his pain. Â
The contact only lasted a few seconds. Your touch surprised him, as he had jolted once your skin grazed his own. He turned his head to the side to give you a glare that youâve never seen before. His eyes had been filled with pain, as you guessed, but they also carried hatred and disdain. He mustâve seen your expression, because a second later his eyes changed to a neutral expression. Â
"What are you doing here?" he muttered. Â
The shock of his stare lingered in you for a moment, but you quickly returned to yourself, a friendly smile on your face."I came to leave a little parting gift."Â Â
He hummed in acknowledgement, not sparing another glance at you as you put the photograph against the headstone, right in between the dozens of flowers that decorated it. Both of you stayed silent after that, the sounds of the birds and the faint rumbling of cars were the only sounds keeping you company. It was peaceful. It was good. Just the two of you enjoying a moment's calmness in silence.Â
For a few moments, you felt comfortable next to him. The first time in months since he came back. But good moments like that never lasted long. Â
Without notice, he turned around. Long, desperate strides guided him towards the exit of the graveyard. He wanted to create distance between you and him, find somewhere that was as far away from you as he could be. You felt how you were losing him. Â
But you fought for him, even when he seemed to not deserve it. Â
"Bucky." You called for him. He stopped in his tracks, but he didnât turn around, so you took that as a sign to keep going. "I know youâre hurting right now, I am too, but Iâm here for you. Iâll always be here for you."Â Â
He didnât answer for a few seconds, and you thought you had made a breakthrough. Maybe this was the time when things went uphill. This was the little push he needed to start healing and perhaps to try to rebuild the bridges that had burned. This was the little thread of hope you'd hung up on. Â
You were wrong. Â
"You have no idea how I feel," he said before leaving. Â
That night you came back to your cabin, and Buckyâs things were gone. The only thing left was a note that rested in the middle of the bed. Â
I found an apartment in the city. I need space. Â
You didnât see him for a couple of months after that. You considered tracking him down but ultimately gave up as he had asked for space. He needed time on his own, and you could give it to him. You would give him anything he asked for. Â
You kept your word until Strange came to visit you, announcing news about Wanda. She was dead. Â
You barely remembered tracking down his address or making your way there. It wasnât until you were facing his door that you realized what you had done. He asked for space but in that moment, you couldnât give it to him. You needed your Bucky. Â
Knock, knock, knock. Â
It was late in the night, and you could hear the TV going on in the living room. He had to be home. After a few minutes without an answer, you knocked again, but the only thing that welcomed you was silence. Â
"Bucky," you called. Your voice was broken, you tried to fight the tears away, but saying his name broke what little self-control you had left. "Please open the door."Â Â
You rested your forehead against the door, finally allowing yourself to feel everything you had been pushing back ever since the fight with Thanos. Pain, grief, loneliness, hatred, sadness, despair. A cocktail of emotions ran through you in an overwhelming way and seemed to want to drown you. Â
"I know youâre in there." You cried. The tears that ran down your face landed on the floor. "I justâ I know I said I could be strong for the both of us, but... I need you."Â Â
You knocked on the door again, this time with the side of your fist. The desperate sound of your knocking bounced through the walls of the deserted hallway. Â
"Please Bucky, please open the door. Wanda is dead." Your own cries stopped you from talking, the hole in your chest seemed to get bigger and bigger with each passing second. "Nat, Tony, Steve, Wanda. All of them are dead, and IâI canât. I canât keep losing people. I canât lose you."Â Â
You couldnât do this alone, not anymore. Your heart couldnât take it anymore. Â
"I love you. God, I love you so much. I know you want space, but right now I need your love, Bucky. I need you to love me like you used to. Please love me." You begged. Â
And you waited. You waited for what seemed like hours, but it probably was just thirty minutes until you accepted he wasnât coming out. Â
 You left with half a heart that night. Â
Two weeks later, you came back to his apartment, ready to demand an explanation. Your love for him was strong, but you needed him to talk to you. You were ready to fight for your future. You were ready to fight for your love. Â
"Bucky!" you yelled as you knocked aggressively. "Bucky, open the fucking door!"Â Â
The door didnât take long to open. It surprised you, your confidence and anger faltered for a second. This was a sign, perhaps it was him being ready to fight for you too. This was him showing you he still loved you. Â
Except the person who opened the door wasnât Bucky. Â
It was a girl. A short brunette that was covered by Buckyâs black T-shirt and nothing more. Â
"Hi."Â Â
You wanted to scream. You wanted to burst into tears. You wanted to burn the world and leave everything behind. You wanted to die. But the only thing you could do was stay there and stare at the girl. Â
"Umm, Bucky is not here." She said awkwardly, your intense stared made her uncomfortable. Â
"Do you know where he is?" You questioned her. The words came out rougher than you intended, but as the heartbreak and despair set in, you couldn't care less.Â
"No. I, um, when I woke up he was already gone." She pulled the hem of the t-shirt down in an effort to convey her nervousness, but it only infuriated you more. "Are you a friend of his?"Â Â
You wanted to laugh. God, this couldnât be happening. Â
"Yeah, of sorts."Â Â
"I can let you in so we can wait for him, but I have to leave in like twenty minutes."Â Â
"You canât call him?" you asked, bitterly. You knew Bucky had gotten a new phone but he never gave you his number. Â
Her face blushed before she answered. "No, uh. We met last night, and he didnât give me his number. Â
"Oh."Â Â
You didnât know what would be worse, if he had seen this girl ever since he left your cabin or the fact that he had a one night stand with a random girl. It didnât matter, though, Bucky Barnes had crushed your heart. Â
The girl, whose name was Clara, kept her word, leaving minutes later as she had to go to work. She seemed like a nice girl who had no idea the man she had slept with was engaged. And perhaps in another world you wouldâve been nicer to her if your heart hadnât collapsed in on itself when she opened the door. Maybe she was a little naĂŻve, as she let you stay inside the apartment so you could wait on Bucky. She had also asked you to give him her number, the digits scribbled on a piece of paper. Â
You broke down the moment she closed the door behind her. You thought of trashing the place, breaking every piece of furniture he owned, and burning all his clothes in a pit in the middle of his living room. You imagined yourself hurling the stupid leather jacket he seemed to be fond of lately.You also thought about settling for burning everything to the crisp, wanting to see the look on his eyes once he saw his apartment consumed by flames. Â
You didnât do any of those things, though; instead, you waited. This time, hours actually went by, the once bright morning turned into the darkness of the night, and you never moved from your spot on the couch, not even to turn on the lights. Â
Bucky came back to his apartment around 11 p.m. When he noticed the apartments' lack of lightning, he felt relieved not to have to deal with the girl he had taken home the night before. By the looks of it, she left a while ago. Â
He turned on the light before taking of his jacket, placing it on the coat hanger next to the door.As he walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, he tossed his keys on the counter.He had to change the sheets on his bed and do laundry tomorrow. The glass was half full when a voice behind him spoke. Â
"You have a nice place here."Â Â
The glass dropped from his hands into the kitchen sink. His head snapped quickly towards you, finding you seated in the middle of his couch. He turned off the sink, before making his way toward you. You couldnât be here, not today of all days. Â
"How the hell did you get in here?" he barked. Â
He didnât mean it like that, not in the way it sounded. He wasnât angry at you being inside his apartment, he was scared. Scared that you had arrived at the wrong time and seen something you werenât meant to see. Â
He finally stood in front of you and saw it. Your nose was slightly puffy and red, like you had been crying for some time. Your shoulders were slumped, defeat washing over your posture. But the thing that hurt the most to see was the pain behind your eyes. It wasnât the normal type of pain of loss or grief as you had experienced these past months. No, it was something else. Â
It was the pain of heartbreak and betrayal. Â
It couldnât be. Â
You couldn't have been here when she was still in his house. There was no way, life could not hate him this way. It had to be something else that broke your heart, he had hurt you many times this past couple of months, and today was probably the day it all crashed down. It had to be that. Â
"Clara let me in."Â Â
No. Â
"Nice girl, she left her number for you."Â Â
You knew, you had seen the girl who was apparently named Clara, he didnât really remember it. Bucky knew he had to do something, anything that could save your relationship. Perhaps if he begged you not to leave him, to let him explain everything that had been going on with him, and if he spent the rest of his days making it up to you, then you would stay. Maybe you could forgive him. Â
He didnât do any of that, though. The same thoughtless attitude washed over him like it had done ever since he came back. It was as if his brain forced him to act this way in order to protect his own heart in the long run.Â
Instead of doing everything he could to fix this, he shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. Â
"How long?" you asked. Bucky could see your eyes watering as you tried to keep yourself together. He hated himself. "How long have you been cheating on me?"Â Â
His mouth answered without his permission. Â
"Does it even matter?"Â Â
Maybe he was right. Maybe it the answer wouldnât change the way you were feeling; if anything, it was bound to hurt you more. But a part of you wanted to know the truth, to extinguish the other half of your heart. Â
You didnât budge, so Bucky finally answered, not before rolling his eyes. "Sheâs the only one. I met her yesterday in a bar. "He shrugged. "It just happened."Â Â
You knew the answer, yet it still hit you with the force of a thousand bricks. He admitted it. He fucking admitted it and he didnât even show a single morsel of remorse. There weren't any apologies or begs, no promises, or big romantic and sorrowful speeches. You could feel your own love being smothered, the flames that had once brought so much warmth to your soul were replaced by cold and emptiness. Â
Bucky Barnes didnât love you anymore.Â
Now Â
Bruises covered your body as well as new injuries that would probably give you more scars. Dirt and blood slid down the drain, exhaustion settling in as your muscles relaxed. The droplets of water fell against your body, washing away everything that had happened today. Â
You found the intel, you knew every single name of everyone involved with the heinous experiments you were chasing. Â
You had almost died, one of the guys Bucky and you had cornered, had a bomb attached to his chest. You tried to stop him, your gun pointing at his head, but you were too slow. The explosion shook the entire structure, causing a chain collapse of the floors around you.Â
Bucky had jumped to protect you, his body acting as a human shield, deflecting some of the impact.His flesh arm had a large metal piece embedded in it, as well as some burns on his back. The explosion had knocked you both out of the air, and the resulting wave had thrown you both across the room.Â
As you tried to shake away the confusion and the ringing from your ears, you felt his hand find its place along your face and travel to your stomach. As he scanned you, blue eyes looked at you with fogginess but also deep concern.Â
"You ok?" he had whispered. Â
You nodded, but your mind was still fuzzy, perhaps you had hit your head, but you couldnât remember much. Â
But you remembered the desperation. You remembered everything crumbling apart as you tried to make your way to the exit. You remembered Samâs voice screaming through your earpieces to get the fuck out of there. You remembered Bucky's hand always keeping you safe, guiding you through the clouds of cement and smoke. Â
You also remembered how Buckyâs steps faltered before collapsing. Neither of you had noticed he had a second piece of metal scrap buried between his ribs. If he had removed it, his enhanced healing would have taken care of it, but the extenuating movements had caused damage to his lungs, bleeding, and a lack of oxygen, causing him to pass out.Â
You remembered screaming for Samâs help, begging him to help you save Bucky. You remembered the tears falling from your eyes as you tried to pull Bucky to safety, begging him not to die, begging him to wake up. You remembered the fire catching up to you, itâs warmth burning your skin. You wanted to kill Bucky, you would be happy if you never seen his face again, dance on top of his grave as you celebrated the end of his existance. Â
Then why were you fighting so hard to save him? Â
"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. You canât do this to me!"Â Â
"Bucky wake the fuck up!"Â Â
"Please! I canât lose you like this!"Â Â
Fortunately, Sam came for you, him and all his Captain America glory had saved both of you, his wings protecting all three of you as you carried Bucky outside. You had barely gone a few steps ahead when the building finally set one last explosion, ending with everything on it's way.All three of you landed on the floor with a thud as the shock wave reached you. Â
You focused your attention on Bucky's wound, which was already healing, but his lack of response worried you.His breathing was barely existent, and his heartbeat was decreasing. You had straddled his lap and began performing CPR on him while asking Sam to go fetch the adrenaline shot you stored in the vehicle. You had punctured Bucky's chest with it, and after a few seconds, he had woken up. Â
You remembered clinging to him as he tried to sit straight, the desperation finally gone from your body. Â
The body behind you wrapped his hands along your waist, pulling you out of your memories and spreading the soap he had covered you with. Bucky's fingers traced all the way down your body, removing every trace of stress.Â
After everything happened, Sam told you to go back to the safehouse while he met with Joaquin to try and start locating people with the intel you had gathered. You thought about fighting him, but one look at Bucky and any fight you had left was done. Â
A knowing look from Sam told you this wasnât just to let both of you rest and get cleaned up. It was a second chance. A second chance at the talk you had avoided to had with Bucky ever since that night you slept together. Â
You drove back to the safehouse, and once you had gotten inside, everything crumbled apart inside of you. As you reached out to Bucky, your tears had fallen, your hand lingering in his fleshy arm, right where his wound was.His hand cupped your face, his thumb tracing the stream of blood that fell from your eyebrow. In the silence of the room, no words were exchanged, but both your hearts understood. Â
Just for today, you would allow yourselves to comfort each other. Â
His lips peppered kisses along your shoulder as he cleaned you, his lips sometimes finding your neck or your lips when you would press yourself against him. As you spread the shampoo over his head, your fingers massaged his scalp with the tenderness he had missed, his eyes closing every time you hit the right spot.Â
After drying yourselves and changing into new clothes, you both layed on the bed, covered over the head with the thin white sheet you had. You faced each other, blue eyes meeting yours. Your fingers found his face as you traced along every crevice and line you hadnât seen before. Bucky appeared to have aged years in the time you hadn't seen him, but he remained as beautiful as ever.Â
Your heart ached in your chest, and you couldnât fight it anymore. You had denied yourself the other feelings that remained inside of you other than hate and betrayal, but today, as death seemed to call for both of you, it was clear you didnât want Bucky Barnes to die. A part of you hated him so deeply you werenât sure you would be able to stop, but no matter how strong the hatred was, you were sure a part of you still loved him. Â
However, that part of you was broken. Battered and bruised to death by his own doing but it was still there. It was locked inside the thousand-foot wall you had built around it to keep it safe. Refusing to ask questions, refusing to talk to him, and refusing to admit the pain you were in. But in doing so you hadnât given yourself the opportunity to heal. To move on. Â
So you allowed yourself to feel and to talk. For both your sake and his.Â
"Why did you do it?" you broke the silence. His breathing faltered as your hand retracted back to your side. "Why did you hurt me like that?"Â Â
Bucky struggled to find the right words. You were asking him the same question he had asked himself for many, many nights. He asked himself that question when he wouldnât reach for you at night. He asked himself that question when he didnât open the door for you. Â
He asked himself that question when you walked out of his life. Â
You deserved the truth. The whole, unapologetic, heartfelt truth. So he gave it to you. Â
"The first time I came back to myself, after fighting Steve in the helicarrier, I realized the world had moved on without me. My plans, my family, and the people I knew were all left in the past. They all moved on without me, everyone was gone except for Steve. I had a plan, after the war I would go back and find myself a beautiful girl to marry." A sad smile posed on his lips as he reminisced. "I wanted the white picket fence and three kids package. Cookouts with my family and friends while I was still a war hero. But all of that was gone the moment I woke up in a time that wasnât mine. My dreams were gone."Â Â
He paused before reaching for your face, his eyes closing before opening again, tears streaming down his cheeks."Ever since I woke up, I was a man drifting in a time that wasnât mine, in a life that wasnât mine. I didnât have any dreams, or aspirations other than to survive and perhaps discover the truth. Nothing made sense to me, not until I met you." His thumb wiped away the tears you didnât know they were falling. "You were the very first person, aside from Steve, that was kind to me. You talked to me, listened to what I had to say. You showed me what this new world was about, how to survive in it, and above all, you never doubted my innocence. It wasnât because you knew me like Steve did, or because he had asked you as a favor. You were my friend, the very first I made when I was lost. And along the way, you turned into more, you were my new dream. I fell in love with you, and suddenly it didnât matter that I wasnât supposed to be here, or what it couldâve been because with you, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere."Â Â
A sob escaped you, his words burning your heart, branding them with the love you once felt for him. The heartbreak and the pain came once again, but it felt different. It was comforting in a way that scared you, terrified you. You knew he had loved you once, but you had stored those memories far away where they couldnât hurt you. Because it was easier to tell yourself that Bucky had never actually loved you than to think he had loved you and had still betrayed you. Â
"But no matter how much time passed or how loved or comfortable I felt, I was still scared. I was terrified. Terrified of the same thing happening again. Every day, I'd tell myself, 'Something is going to happen, something is going to take me away from you, and when I come back, another hundred years will have passed.' And it did happen. When Thanos snapped me away, I came back, and to me only seconds had passed, but for you it was five years. Everything had changed again, even you. There was this sadness that seemed to have nested behind your eyes every time you looked at me. And every time I looked at you, I could see how much you had suffered because of me, it was my fault, and I couldnât do anything about it."Â Â
"It wasnât your fault." You tried to argue, but his words interrupted you. Â
"I felt like it was. I felt like I mustâve had some sort of curse that would always take me away from what made me the happiest, and in return, I would hurt everyone around me with it. I had died once again and the world kept going, once again. And I tried really hard to fight those thoughts, but it was as if a cloud of darkness would whisper to me that I didn't belong here anymore.That everything had changed once again, and it would happen again and again and again until I finally died. And I didn't know what to do; it was as if this voice was drowning me, washing away every ounce of happiness I had left inside me until all that remained was anger and resentment."Â
His voice had broken, as had his ability to hold back the tears.He had buried this for so long, too embarrassed to say them aloud, to admit how he had messed up everything because he was afraid.He wasnât the man who had sworn to protect you against everything, he was a coward. A coward who had let his own fear hurt you in ways he could never fix. Â
"Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry." Bucky kissed your forehead. "You didnât deserve any of what I did to you, and I donât think I could ever forgive myself for doing that. Iâm sorry I wasnât there for you when you needed me, Iâm sorry I pushed you away when all you did was trying to help me. Iâm sorry I slept with someone else. I'm sorry I messed everything up because the truth is, you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me, past and present, and if I had to go through all of the pain, torture, and heartbreak all over again just to meet you, I would."Â
You stayed there in silence for minutes. Neither of you dared say anything else that would break the silence. Both your hearts had been through a lot today, from the threats of death to the realizations of love and pain that had been confessed. But amongst the suffering and the torment, both of your hearts began to heal, and the pieces that had been ripped apart came back to where they belonged. Â
You took his hands into yours, your lips kissing his knuckles. "I donât know if I could ever forgive you for what you did." Buckyâs eyes closed in ache, he knew it was a possibility, but it still hurt to know there was no hope, but your words stopped him from spiraling. "But I would like to try."Â Â
Hope. A tiny silver of hope.Â
"Do you think there is a chance for us in the future?"Â Â
You considered it. Your mind and your heart still pulling towards different directions but none of them letting you decide. Would you be willing to risk your heart once again for Bucky Barnes, or has the damage been too great to be fixed and covered? "I donât know."Â Â
"Thatâs ok. I'm not going to ask about it again unless you want me to."Â
He kissed you one last time. His lips still had a subtle taste of smoke and burned, but above it was something overpowering, something both of you felt as he deepened the kiss. You both tasted redemption and forgiveness.Â
ForeverÂ
"Thanks for helping me."Â Â
"Donât thank me, Iâm only doing it for the beer."Â Â
Bucky and you chuckled at his poor attempt at a joke, your footsteps echoing in the half-empty apartment. A couple of seconds later, your mattress landed with a loud thud in your bedroom, making you happy to be finally done. You threw yourself on the bed, Bucky following you close behind, his heaviness bouncing you off. You turned to your side, resting your head on your hand, and he replicated your pose. Â
It had been a year and a half since you decided to bring Bucky back into your life, and things had changed dramatically since then.You stopped doing solo missions and moved to New York, where you split your time between assisting Sam and Bucky with their shenanigans and volunteering at the woman's shelter Sam had connected you with.Â
In the beginning, it was difficult to adapt to a tamer lifestyle than the one you had lived in the past year, but listening to all those women, the things they had been through, showed you that sometimes the thing people need to start healing is to have someone along the way. Â
Bucky and you had become friends, just as you had been when you first met. It took time to get back to the beginning, but soon you found out how much you needed him as a friend, not a lover or a soulmate but just someone with whom you could talk. And, over the course of the many nights you spent talking, forgiveness found its way into your heart.You didnât forget the past between both of you, but along the way there was understanding and care. Â
"How was your date?"Â Â
You shrug. "It was ok, not that great to be honest."Â
During this time you had gone on a couple of dates, even went out with a guy for a couple of months, and since you and Bucky were âjust friendsâ you thought it would be uncomfortable to talk to him about them. But he had developed a habit of surprising you, and as it turned out, he was okay with it. When you asked why he was okay with it, his response surprised you.Â
"I love you, Iâll always love you. But if you need me as a friend and nothing more, then Iâll be your friend."Â Â
Your heart was still reluctant about him, after all, pain is a thing you can hardly forget. That had been the reason why you had tried to find someone else. Someone who could make you laugh as hard as he did, someone who could make you blush with just a cocky smile, someone who could calm you down and make everything better by simply holding you close at night.Someone who could make you happy. But all of them failed, because they werenât Bucky Batnes. Â
No one ever compared to Bucky Barnes, because after all the lies, heartbreak, and death surrounding you, he was still the only person who felt like home. Â
Blue eyes stared at you and all you could feel was your heart racing. He was the man you had once loved and he had betrayed you, but time had mended your heart. The part of you that hated him was gone, and instead the love you felt for him came back, maybe not as strong as it once was but it didnât matter. Your love was willing to build itself up, your love was willing to let him in one last time. Â
"Ask me" you uttered. Your voice was so quiet that you thought he wouldn't hear you, but his puzzled expression told you otherwise.Â
"What?"Â Â
Your hand grabbed his, your thumb was drawing circles on his skin. Â
"Bucky, ask me."Â Â
Buckyâs heart stopped. A part of him had always told him that you would never want him back, and he couldn't blame you. He had hurt you in so many ways that he could never forgive himself. He had been sure the best he could have from you was friendship, and he had made his peace with it. Having you as only a friend was better than not having you at all. Â
But you were giving him an opportunity, and he would be damned if he didnât take it. Â
"Would youâ" he paused, clearing his throat.The nervousness inside him erased his ability to speak. "Would you like to go out for dinner? As in a date?"Â Â
You made it seem as if you were thinking about it, but he didnât worry about it. He knew your answer already. Â
"Yeah, I guess I can make time for one date."Â Â
You smiled. You gave him your biggest, most genuine smile in a long time.He smiled too. Â
Loving Bucky Barnes hadnât been easy. But as you both lay in your beds, his hands caressing your face and new hope brewing between you, your heart told you that this time would be different.Â
He wasn't the same tormented man from another time you'd fallen in love with, and you weren't the same broken but hopeful girl he'd loved with all his heart.You both had hurt each other, but you had also grown, both of you in your own ways, and yet destiny had brought you back together. Â
This time, neither of you was scared.Â
This time, loving him would come as easily as breathing.
If you like the story please interact: reblogs, likes and comments go a long way. Feedback is always appreciated! Feel free to message me about it.
AN: i just love the angst sorry :) also this is the worst trope ever but I LOVE IT. I eat it up. also i know i overuse italics its my fatal flaw. willing to do requests & taglists btw <3
i'm not sure how many words per se but it looks really long so
ââ ââąÂ°â°âąâ ââ
"I'll give you a hundred bucks if you can get any of the cheerleaders to go on a date with you."
After band practice, the conversation had devolved into who had school the band thought was hot.
"Please," Eddie tried to scoff off the idea. "When has that idea ever gone well?"
"I'll also give you a hundred," Jeff said, adding to the fire. They probably didn't expect him to go for it. But he could use two hundred bucks...
Eddie rolled the idea around in his mind. Who would he even ask? There was Chrissy Cunningham, she's sweet... but he was pretty sure she was dating Jason, and the last thing Eddie needed was more problems from that guy. But there was you.
You were different. You were still a cheerleader at Hawkins, sitting with the populars and shaking your pom-poms at every game. But you smiled at Eddie in the hall sometimes. And he'd noticed you'll talk to anyone. You weren't mean. So he could probably charm his way into one little date, and then after the date inevitably goes terribly, he'll collect his easy money and you will go on, blissfully unaware.
It's not like you guys would get along or anything.
"What happens if I lose?" Eddie asked.
"You have to put on an embarassing show in the cafeteria," Jeff said. "And easy one."
"Okay," Eddie said after a long silence, "I'll take your money."
The next day at school, Eddie was sitting on the stairs across from your locker like a predator. It was still forty minutes until first bell, so there were very few people in the halls. He had this whole plan in mind. First, he'd wow you with his natural charm, and then leave you lingering in mystery. Easier said than done, when you came walking down the hallway with a skip in your step and a smile on your face.
It made him feel guilty about this whole thing. But you would never know, so what was the harm?
He approached you slowly, slowly panicking about the idea of bothering you. What if you told the basketball team he was bothering you? What if you acted like he grabbed you, or something...
He fears were cut off by you casually saying, "Hey Eddie."
You knew his name? Why did it sound so nice coming from you?
It's because secretly you were always aware of Eddie. There was something about him that always held your attention. After seeing him for a days, you'd become a closeted metal fan. It started to impress him, but you actually did start to like it. You'd always tried to catch his eye, but it was like he didn't really see you.
"Hey, morning," he said, mind focused on his objective. But it was harder when actually looking down at you. You were pretty cute. You had beautiful eyes.
"Good morning," you said, pleasantly confused at the situation. You noticed Eddie had gotten up when you got closer. "Were you waiting for me?"
"Oh, ha, you noticed that," he said, grabbing your locker door as you opened it, and leaned on it, unintentionally making a show of his hand gripping the edge of the locker.
You felt a flutter in your chest, "Well, what can I do for you?"
"I've seen you here early before," Eddie mused, as if he'd ever been here early, but he had his intel. "Thought I could give you a little company."
"That's sweet," you said, smiling like you were hiding a laugh. "I've never seen you around before class. Only coming in late."
"I'm shocked at such an accusation," he said, leaning closer. "It hurts to believe you think so lowly of me." There was a level of teasing in his tone that made butterflies erupt within you.
"You know," you started, "I was supposed to go see Halloween 3 tonight but my girlfriends chickened out..."
"Oh yeah?"
"Well I still want to go," you said. You couldn't hint anymore if you tried. "Are you looking for company tonight?"
"What?" Eddie couldn't mask his surprise. He was supposed to come over here and charm you into a date, but... you asked him?? "Uh yeah, I can take you to the movies."
"What time is your club done? We can go after that," you said, smiling. You were just trying to be considerate, but you were making Eddie weak in the knees. Were you really this aware of him? If anything, he was wondering why you cared more than how you knew.
"I'll see when the late shows plays and make sure we'll be there," he said, "just give me your address, I'll pick you up."
The blush on your cheeks made him smile, but the gentle touch of your hand as you grabbed his arm and pushed the sleeve up, using a marker to write down the street and and number. Eddie was totally at your mercy by this point, but you just had to make worse by bringing his arm up to your face to kiss what you'd written, looking up at him with the devil in your eye.
"Kiss from a maiden has to boost luck, right?"
Suddenly, the terms of the game changed. You asked him out. It was not what he expected. He expected it would take several days before he finally asked you out. He had this whole plan in his mind, and you just... you kissed him on the arm, like it was a normal thing for you to do to him. Now he didn't really want the money, he just wanted you to that again. Feel your soft touch. Anything that would put that look back into your eye.
Everyone at Hellfire could see that Eddie was distracted. His campaign was nothing less than infallible as per usual, but his theatrics were toned down, and he was fumbling over the dice as if he wasn't always paying total attention.
After the session, Jeff and Gareth hung around. Mainly to check on their friend.
"I have to go," Eddie said, fumbling with his bag. He didn't want to tell the guys about you. He didn't want to pop the fantasy of having you all to himself. Not yet.
Eddie still had it in his mind that the date would flop. What chance did he have to impress someone like you? This whole situation was spiralling quickly. And he fucking knew better than to take a stupid bet issued at midnight after a bunch of beers. He should've called it off right there, he should've said it's stupid and objectifying the cheerleaders and that was mean, but he said nothing. He just packed his things, and told his friends he'd see them later.
He didn't have time to go change, he didn't want you to miss your movie because of him. And he was just really anxious to see you again. There was a small part of his brain, a little nagging brain cell, telling him that maybe... just maybe, this date will go well and he can get you to look at him with a sparkle in your eyes.
Your house was right in the middle of suburbia, which had Eddie losing his cool slowly. You were different, and he knew that already, but it was a comfort to remind himself as he drove passed identical, picket fenced houses. Your house was no different. Picket fence, flowers in the window sill, green grass mowed to the same height.
He parked the van and got out, walking through the gate and up the short cobblestone path leading up to your front door. He brought a knuckle up to your door, tapping lightly twice. Maybe you would bail and he wouldn't have to be the bad guy anymore. He looked at the flowers beside the house, and mentally kicked himself for not bringing you anything for you. You deserved flowers.
But you were there, waiting to answer the door a few moments after he knocked. You had counted to ten in your head before he answered, not wanting to seem too keen.
"Hey," you said, dazzling him again with an innocent smile. His voice was stuck in his throat as he looked at you. Eddie hadn't expected your cheerleading outfit or anything... but what didn't expect was a cropped Slayer shirt. It looked like you had cut it yourself, but he couldn't let himself get caught staring at the frayed edges, because that's where the exposed skin was, tempting him to look. Or worse, tempting him to reach out, running his calloused fingers over the skin that looked painfully soft.
"Hey," he say quietly, still trying to wrap his head around what was happening. How had he managed to fuck this up before talking to you for the first time? "Sorry I didn't get flowers or change or do anything all at to impress you. I kinda rushed right from school."
"You want to impress me?"
Eddie's mind was reeling. "Is there anyone out there who doesn't?"
You giggled, and Eddie didn't think he could take it anymore. If he just spilled his guts right now, he could stop himself a world of confusion. After this, he'd probably be stuck with the image of you for weeks. He's probably caused him heartache and pain when this doesn't work out. Or... worse... it does work out and one of his idiot friends tells you how this started, and then he was still heartbroken and fucked.
Eddie said nothing as he led you to the van.
On the way to the movies it was quiet, but not uncomfortable. You asked him about his day, which made him blush because, it's a simple that people never really asked him. Especially beautiful cheerleaders.
He didn't know how he was supposed to forget this. How could he continue to drive Jeff and Gareth around while he's seen you in his passenger seat... with a Slayer shirt on.
"Can I pick something?" you asked, finding a small stash of cassettes under the seat.
"Sure," he said. He's pretty sure he would've let you do whatever you wanted, as long as you stayed beside him in this van forever.
You slipped the current tape out, and slipped in Metallica. Fight Fire with fire came on and you sat back in your seat.
"Why this one?" he asked. He wanted to know. He wanted you to give some cheesy answer so he could figure out an excuse to not like you, to fight all the reasons he was starting to like you anyway. It was just a shirt, maybe you didn't listen to them at all.
"For Whom the Bell Tolls is my favourite right now," you said casually.
"What about Slayer? What's your favourite?"
"You quizzin' me?" you quipped, laughing as Eddie widened his eyes. You cut him off before he could apologize. "Die by the Sword." You drummed your fingers absentmindedly against your jeans. "Always had this fantasy about riding into battle, yaknow, Lord of the Rings style."
"Who are you?" Eddie asked, fingers gripping the steering wheel tighter. "You like Lord of the Rings and Slayer." He said it as a fact, not a question. With every casual answer you gave, a knife was turning in his stomach, reminding him that he was the bad guy. He took a stupid bet, from his stupid friends, and it was keeping him from enjoying this moment fully. There was a little voice reminding him that what he's doing, is shit people like Jason Carver would do.
"Yes, and?"
And nothing. You were just casting a spell on Eddie that he would need a miracle to undo. "So you're a hidden freak."
"Being hidden is lame," you said, "I wouldn't lie if they asked."
"Who is they?" he asked.
"The other cheerleaders, the jocks, anyone at school really."
"You don't get along with the other cheerleaders?"
"No, I do. They're my girls. <3" You smiled, biting the skin beside your thumb. "I just don't talk about fantasy epics with them, they're not really interested."
"I don't know," he teased, pulling into the movie theatre parking lot. "You don't really seem like any cheerleaders I know."
"And how many cheerleaders do you know?"
He laughed, parking the car. He was starting to ease into it a little more. Enjoying your presence while he can. "Fair enough."
"Shaking those pom-poms is going to get me a scholarship, and a scholarship will get me out of here." The words were less airy and playful than the rest had been. He'd taken note of your serious tone when talking about getting out of here. There was hardly a line, most of the movies started a couple minutes earlier, there were just a few Halloween stragglers.
"In a rush out of here?" he asked. He wanted to know everything about you.
"You could say that," you said. "I don't have a problem with Hawkins but my parents are... I just..." you trailed off. "Let's not ruin a good time."
He nodded, not needing to hear anything else. After light squabbling about who would pay for the tickets, Eddie passed his money over to the ticket guy, who had an obvious line of sight to your stomach. Or maybe it was your chest he was staring at, either away, Eddie was finding it really annoying. He used his arm to gently guide you behind him, blocking most of the box office employees view.
He felt protective over you. Which is ironic, because at the start of the day he had a plan to woo you, to take you on a date for a bet. And now, he wanted to protect you from hurt.
The worst kind of hypocrite.
The conversation died when the two of you shuffled into the little theatre. The movie had been out long enough that it wasn't too busy. It was nice, being in the dark together, silently watching the movie. You weren't really scared, but you still liked it. Eddie however, wasn't loving it as much as you.
Eddie was having such a nice time, that he was able to push the bet out of his mind completely.
After the movie, pretty much everything was closed, except the 24 hour diner a little bit down the highway, so that's where he took you. He drove about twenty minutes just to eat greasy cheeseburgers and sickeningly sweet milkshakes because he just couldn't bare for this night to be over yet.
"Guess I gotta get you home," Eddie said after the food. "It's already passed midnight."
"Oh that's okay," you said, leaving money on the table for food. "They'll be gone until next week anyway. I don't they'd care when I got home."
Eddie wanted to ask, but he could tell your parents weren't something you liked to talk about.
"Well, if we've both nowhere to be, maybe we should stick together."
"Why don't you take me home anyway and we can watch another movie."
"I'd like that."
The ride back to your place seemed shorter, or maybe he was just excited to see where you live. He wanted to see your room. He was so curious about you. He just wanted to know everything.
Your house was quiet, pitch black and lonely... like it always was. You let him in, and he awkwardly shuffled in behind you. He copied what you did by taking your shoes off by the door. Your house opened into the living room, with stairs right beside.
"Can I see your room?" he asked, half expecting you to say no but you answered with a quick "sure!" and led him up the stairs. He watched your ass the whole time you walked ahead of him.
"It's kinda boring," you said, opening the door. There wasn't really much to it. A few posters on the wall; a couple were bands he liked and there were a few movie posters too. Your cassettes were all stacked on your desk neatly, and there were vinyls beside that, a small table there to hold the record player. He was talking and poking through them, while you sat on the bed, watching him intently. He was shocked to see you actually had some of the same things he did. And you... you had bands he didn't know. One day, he was totally going to borrow those.
He kept chatting as he poked around. This morning, neither one of you could have predicted being here like this. He stopped talking mid sentence, and you could see him looking more at the desk than the music now. You curiously tried to peak at what he was looking at.
"Is this a dnd character sheet?" he asked.
"Oh!" you laughed, standing and joining him by the desk. "Yeah, it is. I'd been trying to work up the nerve to ask you to teach me, but, I guess I didn't have to."
And just like that, you had him.
You had him totally and fully and he wished he'd never taken that stupid challenge with his stupid friends about the stupid money. His mind was emotional soup.
"You were gunna ask me to teach you dungeons and dragons?" he asked, totally stunned into silence, again.
"Well..." you blushed, turning away from him. He saw it though. "I kind of have a crush on you, Eddie. Maybe before tonight it wasn't like... real, because I didn't actually know you but..." You smiled, so soft and sweet, it made Eddie feel warm and vulnerable. "Now I know it is real."
What was he supposed to do? Look at you while you're vulnerable like that and just tell you what he's done? No shot. No fucking way would he let any of his dumb choices get in the way of, whatever this was going to be.
"I like you, too," he said finally, smiling back at you. The problem was, while it was true, it didn't feel as genuine. He did like you, but that's not how it started.
And what was he supposed to do when you looked like you wanted a kiss? Not kiss you? That would be rude.
Eddie leaned in slowly, and so did you. He brought his hand up, coddling your face and brushing a thumb over your cheek. He said, "you're so beautiful," before closing the gap and putting his mouth on yours. It was small, mouths parted and puckered, moving slowly. It was a short kiss, but a tender first one.
Until you said, "sorry if I'm not a good kisser, I haven't done much kissing," with a blush.
"You haven't done much kissing?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry I'm so... inexperienced."
"No, it's okay! I don't really get to kiss anyone either."
"You can kiss me whenever you want," you said, bounce in your step as you grabbed his hand and led him back downstairs.
You let him pick a movie while you set up the couch with some blankets. He settled beside you one the couch once the movie started, and you snuggled into his side as if you owned it. Which may as well be true already, and passed out within five minutes of the movie starting. He told himself sternly that he would leave when the movie was over, and he did mean it. But he also rested his head on yours and tried to fall asleep before he saw any credits.
Which he did.
Monday morning rolling around was another one of Eddie's punishments. The bliss of his imaginary life came hurdling towards the end, and it was filling him with anxiety. Like, so fucking much anxiety.
At school, he'd be unable to avoid his friends. Eddie had spent much of Saturday morning lounging at your house with you. You two made breakfast, listened to some music, and then watched a movie. He had to leave eventually, since he didn't want to kiss you with morning breath. But he'd called you that night... and the one after that. He just couldn't get enough of you.
Eddie had avoided his best friends most of the morning, mostly by just being late. Unfortunately, that also had meant he'd avoided you. He'd hoped you'd come into the cafeteria first. He was biting his nails, his leg rapidly shaking up and down. You had said he can kiss you anytime... did that mean school, too? He hoped so. He hoped you would come into the freaking cafeteria.
But his fantasy bubble had officially popped when Jeff grabbed him by the shoulders from behind, scaring him.
"Bud, you've been holding out on us."
"What are you talking about?" Eddie asked. Gareth and Jeff sat at the table with him.
"Same thing that everyone is talking about, you and y/n."
"What?" Eddie had been so focused on not talking to anyone that he hadn't heard anything.
"Someone's sister saw you leaving her house on Saturday, and I distinctly remember you rushing out of Hellfire on Friday."
"What are people saying?"
"Some are saying drugs, some are saying you guys have sex. Did you? Did you have sex with her?"
"No," Eddie said, effectively wiping the smile off Gareth's face. "But I may have slept there."
His friends looked at each other, and then at him, and Eddie took one selfish moment to be excited about it. It was his fatal mistake.
"Are you guys gunna go out again?" Jeff asked. Eddie grinned, and nodded.
"Well, a deal is a deal. Here goes all my savings on some dumb bet," Gareth said.
They should've had a sign, some bat signal that Eddie could show above the entire student body that would get his best friends to shut the fuck up because you were behind them, walking closer and smiling at Eddie with that same sweet smile on your face.
You must have slipped in when he was talking to the guys. He tried to shush Gareth without being obvious, but Gareth was being so fucking loud. If he didn't shut up soon you were going to hear him. Eddie's heart was racing. Jeff kicked Gareth, but apparently not hard enough because he just kept talking.
Eddie's heart was going to beat out of his chest... like in Alien...
"I can't believe you got y/n on a date in like, one day." Gareth scoffed. "Maybe you let her in on it for some of the money. Last time I make a bet with you losers."
And it was like watching a star die. Your beautiful smile gone, replaced with a quivering lip and a look in your eye that reflected agony, instead of the little bit of trouble he loved so much. Eddie was going to throw up. For a second you two just looked at each other, Eddie had his hands an inch off the table, he was shaking.
He fucking knew this scenario never worked out for anyone.
And then you were running out of there, and he was hot on your heels. It must have looked bad, you running out crying while Eddie chased you. After rumors of drugs deals and scandalous sex, the fire was most definitely stoked.
Eddie shouted after you, following you all the way outside. Out there, where no one was really lingering, you turned around. There were a few tears rolling down your cheeks, and you chewed on the skin of your lip.
"Please tell me that it doesn't mean what it sounds like," you begged, stepping closer. The hurt tone of your voice sent a dagger into his chest with every word. He did this. "If you can just-" you hiccuped, "tell me that. Then we can go to the diner and we can go, we can go wherever you want. Anywhere. Just tell me that it wasn't what it sounded like."
Eddie didn't say anything. He couldn't.
He didn't have anything good enough to say.
You just watched him with tears in your eyes. It seemed like you were begging him with your eyes. He wished he had anything to tell you. It wasn't what it seemed like, or maybe it was for a good cause. But he didn't have anything.
"But," you cried, "but you said you liked me."
"I do like you," he said quickly, his voice surprisely hoarse. Being able to say something true made him spring into action. "I like you so much. I'm so sorry, I'm really so so fucking sorry, but please. Just let me make it up to you. Obviously I don't want the money, I was going to tell them it's off but I just... I didn't, I don't know why. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"What was the bet?"
"What?"
"What were the terms and conditions of the bet?"
"Is that... really productive..." he trailed off when he looked at you. Eddie sighed, and looked to his feet for some kind of comfort. He found none. "Two hundred bucks for a date with any of the cheerleaders. If I fail I embarrass myself at purpose at school."
"You were right that wasn't productive," you said.
"I'm so sorry," he said, "I can still fix it."
"Do what you want. I'm going home."
"Let me take you."
"No, no... you've done plenty, thanks."
And against what he really wanted, he let you go. If you didn't want him around right now he wouldn't push it. Eddie would just have to fix this. He had a plan to woo you once, he could do it again. But this time it would be because he knows he can treat you right. He can be the guy you deserve. He would bring you flowers. He'd never hurt you.
...this was just a really bad example... that's all.
can i request mirror sex with eddie and wayne hears banging and barges in and talks to you guys about protection
A/N: Apologies for the long wait, love. But Iâm here and slowly getting my writing mojo back. I hope you enjoy!
Wrap it Up! (MDNI+18)
Boyfriend!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1.4k+
Warnings: smut, mirror sex, graphic language and descriptions, sex standing up, getting caught, creampie (cum gets everywhere), awkward conversations about (sex, pregnancy, protection), Eddie & Reader 18+, some humor, fluff
Despite Eddieâs lean frame, underneath that hellfire club T-shirt was all muscle and you have the perfect advantage to study every ripple and bulge. Youâre eyes are hazy but intense as you stare at the image before you in the full body mirror: Eddieâs back, slick with sweat, flexes with every stroke into your sopping core as he fucks you standing up. The muscles rippling in his cute little ass was enough to pull one hand away from his hair to cup it.
Wayne invited you over for dinner as he did every night. And sometimes on the days when heâd have to go shopping for groceries, Eddie would occasionally stay over to âprepare the ingredientsâ but really itâs just an excuse to have you over his place earlier so that the two of you could fool around. Hence, why now you were in this position discovering your new mirror kink.
âFuck, you feel so good.â You whine in his ear then bite on the soft lobe.
âYou feel fucking incredible, baby,â His hoarse, raspy gasp into your ear causes you clench tighter around him and he hisses. âYouâre killing me.â
âWant you to cum in me. Please, daddy.â
âOh, yeah?â he said says knocking against the magic button within you. âYouâre on birth control now?â
âNo. But I can take a Plan B. I just want to feel your cum in me. Want it dripping down my legs.â
âOh, fuuuck.â His nails dig into the soft, plushness of your ass as he pounds into you harder and faster, the sounds of your wetness and bodies colliding fill the room. Itâs loud and so were you as you groan a throat-tearing groan at being filled so deliciously over and over.
He bends a little at the knee, throwing you up in his arms enough so that he can get your legs in a position where your feet are beside his ears, the anklet heâd given you on your first year anniversary dangling near the left one. The new position allows him to drill into your greedily suctioning pussy deeper and you thought you were loud the last time. You were screaming as if you were in a goddamn horror movie and heâs just staring you down fiercely wanting to elicit more sounds out of you. Your eyes dart back to the mirror nearly cumming at the sight alone.
Feeling himself about to reach his climax, he climbs into the bed on his knees with him still nuzzled inside you for the final strokes. The backs of your knees now hooked around his shoulders as he curls into you enough to bounce you in his lap and suck and twirl a tongue around one of your hardened peaks.
âOh my god,â You whine. With one hand still across your slick back guiding you up and down his length, he brings the other between your bodies to massage your swollen clitoris. âIâm gonna fucking cum for you!â Sobbing with legit real hot tears streaming down your face, your orgasm slams into you like a fucking bus and your gushing all over him and you. His unruly public hairs matter down by your creamy arousal. He intensifies your high, slamming into your g-spot and not once giving you a break to cope. You dig your nails into him, the whites of your eyes are all he could see.
âGonna cum, baby. Ready to take it.â
As if you could speak! You babble and cry out in response. He slams you down onceâŠtwiceâŠthree times and just as heâs about to fill you upâ
âEdward Munson, you know how to work this damn pho-Jesus Christ!â Wayne Munson, coming home from a long trip to the store, expected to walk into his nephewâs room seeing him do anything from playing his guitar to reading one of his comics. What he hadnât expected was not only had Eddie not set up the table for dinner but he finds Eddie doing you.
Eddieâs horrified that despite thinking that the intrusion was enough to stop his climax it was already too late. His orgasm raked through him forcing himself to bite on his lip to keep from whimpering as he spurts ropes of his warm cum into your inviting gummy channel. But you jump out of his grasp as fast as it happened, forcing his essence to coat anything in close proximity.
Wayne has long averted his eyes before this point, raising his hands out over his face. âDear god! You couldâve at least put up a sock or something, boy.â
âOh my god!â You find a throw blanket beside you to bury yourself in.
âWayne!â Eddie shouts, shoving his exposed cock down between his legs. âWhat the hell are you doing here so early? Didnât you have to run like a bunch of errands and shit?â
âI just needed to get some wine and cigarettes, ya nut. Just gather yourselves whenever youâre ready.â He blindly searches for the doorknob and shuts the door.
âHoly shit,â You throw the blanket off of you, standing to go in search of your clothes around the room. âHow am I going to face him now after heâs seen us like that?â
âItâs not like he doesnât know weâve been having sex.â
âThis is different! This is him actually seeing it for himself. I can never look him in the eyes again,â You reach for your panties thrown on his dresser, hoisting up and over you. âI should go home.â
âNo, please stay. We can act as if nothing ever happened.â
âHow? Iâll be burning up with embarrassment the moment I see him.â You groan and flop down on his bed, your face down on his pillow.
âLong as we donât speak of it, itâll blow over,â Eddie says, looking down at the trickle of his cum between your legs and the mess he made all over himself. âWe donât say a word about this even outside this trailer.â
You chuckle, wanting to lighten the mood. You ran a finger on one of his painted thighs, scooping up the thick white substance. âI donât know. I think your friends would love to hear about your little mess even after getting caught.â
âYouâre a menace.â
ââââ
Throughout, preparation of the dinner neither you nor Eddie said anything. Not even to each other. Simply, hanging your heads low while he prepares the table and you spiced up the sauce for the pasta. Wayne is also occupied with his own chore of tending to the pasta and making no efforts to speak as well, avoiding all eye contact. It was an overall awkward affair for all parties.
At the dinner table, the three of you ate in silence. Eddie, rubbing a hand on your knee as you continued to blush profusely and hang your head low.
âAlright, Iâm just gonna say it since weâve already found ourselves in this awkward position,â Wayne says, throwing down his glass to break the silence. âIn the countless times Iâve had to clean up your room, never once have I noticed a condom wrapper. So my question is, do ya wear protection?â
Eddie chokes on his drink. âDude!â
âWhat? Itâs a valid question. As my responsibility as your legal guardian, I shouldâve had this talk with you long ago. So, itâs on me. But if the two of you are going to engage in theseâŠactivities, you should at least be safe,â Wayne says, carrying the tone of a concerned parent. âSo how do ya do it?â
âDo what?â Eddie asks in hesitance, dreading the upcoming next set of questions.
âPrevent pregnancy. Birth control? Morning After Pills? Pull out method?â Wayne probes.
âI cannot believe this is my life right now.â
âDonât shy away now, Eds? Youâre a man now and youâve gotta have these grown man conversations.â
âMr. Munsonâs right, Eddie,â You speak up, bringing your eyes up for the first time in the entire night. âWe have been a littleâŠrisky.â
Wayne nods. âHaving a child is a huge responsibility. I would know. I took Eddie in when I was pretty young myself. And youâre starting university soon, Y/n. On a full-ride. Iâm sure thatâs not something you see for yourself as of now. This isnât to come down hard on yâall. Again, I was young once. But please for the love of God, use some form of contraceptive and learn to lock a goddamn door.â
âOkay, yeah we will.â Eddie affirms.
âYes.â You agree.
âGood. Letâs shake off the tension now. Iâve already erased whatever that was from my memory so you two can stop acting like youâre walking on eggshells.â
The three of you join in laughter and move into conversation aside from the embarrassing moment. Although, later on that night while you were busy collecting the plates from the table, in one instance of a proud uncle moment, Wayne secretly gestures Eddie for a fist-bump. Eddie mischievously smiles and obliges.
Me trying to get through an absolutely soul-rippingly emotionally abusive toxic fic because the character is underrated and has no fandom and this is all I got: đ
Props to you for being able to soldier through it - kind of admire your dedication to your ships. I can't even get past the descriptions anymore. I tried reading a few, but I had to stop because they were making me hate the characters and, more importantly, the reader (which basically meant I hated myself).
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