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if i look back, i am lost
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
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@signaturemocha
This blog supports dark skin black women.
On and off tumblr.
And not just the ones with “perfect” bodies or extravagant hair, makeup and clothes
^^^^
I’m sure many of you have seen this disgusting video on your timelines but can we honestly really take a minute to talk about how abuse is normalized in the black community and is passed as ‘discipline’ ??
Not to forget sometimes this leads to trauma and suicide.
Too many parents use this as an excuse to emotionally/psychologically/physically abuse/bulky their kids talking bout they’re trying to ‘make you stronger’ NO. You are rearing emotionally and psychologically unstable kids and also potential monsters smh
My mom used to use that exuse as to why she treated me that way. Saying, “I’m just preparing you for the real world.” Not knowing that saying that causes us to have anxiety about the outside world which in turn breeds paranoia and a whole heap of other shit.
i literally cannot begin to list all the things wrong w me today because my mom would literally beat and yell at me for doing things that i thought was normal as a kid. as kids, you do kid shit. and then all of sudden you’re getting beaten and you dont even understand why so then you start thinking “why doesn’t my parent hate me so much” and so much psychological issues like self hate and depression and paranoia set in at such a young age and this shit is damaging as hell to children. you never really get over it either
Feel free to share your stories of abuse as a black person.
I’ll probably forever have issues with my mom since she’s always been verbally abusive and condescending towards anything that deviates from the norm. I got a busted lip once because I spilled chocolate milk on my carpet, was too scared to tell her, and it spoiled in the fabric. I was like, 8. She doesn’t know shit about me and I like to keep it that way.
Growing up black is already so hard and our parents don’t make it any easier for us.
Its hard to cope with the real world when you were beaten for your mistakes instead of being taught how to fix them
THAT PART^^
I’m like 100% I’ve told this memory on tumblr like 4x so I’ll just be brief (and I have many memories of getting my ass beat but I wouldn’t want to subject all of you to them).
But back when I was in kindergarten when it was just me and my mom and we lived in an apartment complex. There were so many kids in the complex and their was a fun park in the back that belonged to the apartment.
There were so many bugs (butterflies, dragonflys, etc) that you could catch! So all the kids begged their parents for butterfly nets and got them. My mom NEVER bought me one because she said it was a stupid waste of money and this nice old white lady ended up buying me one for Easter.
ANYWAY, one day I was out catching butterflies with the other apartment kids at the park. I was having so much fun and time flew by that I realized I was 30 minutes late from the time my mom told me to come home. So I run my 5 ½ year old ass back home and my mom sitting at the table looking pissed.
Abridged version she yells at me for 20 minutes calling me disrespectful, stupid, idiot, etc all because I missed the time. Which btw I didn’t own a watch I had to run to one of the kids nearby apartments and check the time on their microwave. AND MIND YOU IM 5 and I don’t understand why I’m being yelled at so horribly.
She says she went out and checked everywhere for me. I KNEW then this was a lie even at five and I know now it was a fucking lie. So with tears spilling from my eyes from being verbally abused I said “well did you check the park because that’s where I told you I’d be and that’s where I was THE ENTIRE time. I never left”. Then she got mad I called her on her guilt trip bullshit.
She started beating me and I was crying and she’s like why are you crying and I’m just thinking like bitch you’re hitting me. And I try to block using my butterfly net and she grabs it and I run away to the bathroom and she literally continuesly hits me with the net and it snaps. Like It snapped on contact and this thing is one of those hard plastic “won’t break when your out in the woods guarantee” nets. I had bruises for days and had to wear jeans in the hot ass summer why? I DIDNT WANT THAT BITCH TO GET IN TROUBLE. Because she used to tell me that no one else would take me in and I’d be alone to fend for myself.
So antyway, yeah I didn’t know it was abuse until I sat down and thought about it. A lot of Black People repress memories of abuse disguised spankings and they’re the first to say “I turned out fine” BUT DID YOU? Did you turn out fine. I used say that I have anxiety and severe depression and never understood why I didmt even like talking to my mother. I don’t even like hugging her she’s always asking why I won’t even hug her and I’m like I don’t like hugs. But I’ll sure as hell huh other relatives and she notices this. She’ll cry and say you never tell me anything about yourself and I’m like? I used but you’d invalidate or make fun of my feelings. Ive brought up my memories of the beatings she gave me and she just fucking gaslighted me and started crying asking if giving me food and shelter was abuse. I love my mom as a kid loves their parent but I don’t actually think I like her.
{ALSO, I’m very aware it’s not just the black community members or Latinx and East & South Asian communities have discussed this with me as well. This is just a post for the Black Community…}
I’m crying for your 5 year old self 😞 literally 😞😞
This isn’t okay.
I think parents by law should be required to take parenting classes or some shit before they just go home after giving birth like wtf
I honestly think our entire generation that was abused by our parents now have Stockholm Syndrome (for those of use who grew up and still try to maintain a relationship with our parents) because after all this we still want to provide and take care of THE VERY SAME PEOPLE who abused us.
The very last beating i got i was 16, and beforehand, my mother got one of my meanest aunts on the phone to verbally fuck me up. How you tell a damn boy… a BOY that he aint shit and that he’ll never grow to please a woman? How you tell a 16 year old that theyll grow up to be nothing? That he’ll never be a man? Over a fucking D on a report card smh. Instead of sittin down and trying to figure out how to actually help. And THEN after all that still beat my ass? My mother & i have a much better relationship now but you know how it goes once you move out the house. You know how it goes when ur an adult so NOW they listen to what you gotta say.
How much of this have we internalized? How much of this shit impacts how we deal w our day to day? Dammit…
My mother literally tried to strangle me with a belt once and got mad I resisted like I’m sorry I don’t want to die????
And it was always customary for me to have to hide my welts and bruises with long clothes at school. She would also instruct me to lie and say i was playing basketball and got hit by the ball or some shit.
Parents like this abuse their kids and wonder why their kids want them to suffer and don’t talk to them.
Yoo I relate to a lot of this, but the guys post reminded me that when I was a kid and through high school, my mama would tell me I was gonna grow up to be with a man that was gone beat on me all the time. She said that whenever I did something wrong, even something as small as not cleaning my room or getting a bad grade. And I’d be thinking in my head “bitch just cause it happened to you don’t mean it’s gone happen to me”. She wanted me to end up like her shitty ass, and she knew I was gonna be amazing. She did so much shit to hinder me from realizing that.
^^^ My mom’s husband said that to me before. When I was a teenager I had really bad depression. I didn’t know it then because my mom and her husband then boyfriend gaslighted me so fucking bad I couldn’t connect with my own emotions. So the depression made me want to sleep all the time and do absolutely nothing. So I’d get yelled at for not cleaning and was blamed for the house always being filthy though there were three other fucking people in the house apart from me. So my mom’s husband would tell me my husband was going to start hitting me because I pretty much didn’t a decent house wife. I noticed that anytime the subject of me being in a relationship came up it was always something negative. My mom would either tell me the men who showed me interest wasn’t really interested in me. They were nice to me because they’re gay. That they would cheat and leave. Same with her husband. “Oh he’s gonna leave you for some nice girl at work hahaha” Black families try so hard to destroy the self esteem of their children I swear. And it’s interesting that these mother fuckers don’t know why we cut them off. AND I’M SHARING A SUGARCOATED VERSION. I’m not even putting out there the humiliating things my mom put me through. And how I could see on her face she enjoyed seeing that defeated look on my face. She loved seeing me hurt. I swear you fucks don’t deserve to reproduce
My friend literally beat her kid because she brought her some new socks and a few days later, the socks had holes in them… i was so hurt..
Concept: I am my own muse
Untouchable is the woman who realizes her own power
Why are people having so much issue with the article, I agreed with it? The title isn’t the most eloquent thing ever but the article wasn’t encouraging cheating, where you go behind your partners back, but instead looking at the issue of cheating as a not black-and-white thing where there’s one horribly evil person who just wanted to have fun/get laid with one traumatized-for-life victim. Instead, like most- nah, let me say with ANYTHING in real life beyond fiction, the article sees the grays in cheating and why the person cheated in the first place. Not to say that cheating isn’t a horrible thing to do, but I feel like people need to understand that there are reasons people do the things they do. People who cheat are human beings. They could feel horrible about it, they could be trapped in a marriage or relationship that they don’t feel they can escape, they can feel insecure and unloved. Again, not to say it’s something you should ever do, but dehumanizing someone over a mistake is just as bad in my opinion. There’s nowhere where they can talk about their experiences, and it’s likely we know a lot of people who have cheated in our lives even if they haven’t (or were too scared) to tell us about it.
“dehumanizing someone over a mistake”
Watch: John Cena continues, “So, let’s try this one more time. Close your eyes.”
JOHN WITH THE TEA
me, a goblin whose bedtime gets progressively later and later,
Missing in History, presented by DoSomething.org
WEEK THREE: 3 Things About Native American History Your Textbook Doesn’t Want You to Know
And how they relate to the fight for justice today
A Canadian textbook was recently recalled because it said Native American tribes willingly forfeited their lands to Europeans. The truth? Native peoples were forced off their lands and onto small plots called “reservations.”
This kind of “erasure” – omitting or misrepresenting figures and events – happens in lots of textbooks. November is Native American Heritage Month. Read and share this guide to educate friends on the events that shaped Native history and how they influence today’s struggle for equality and justice.
1) The US government forced Native American children to attend boarding schools where they were forbidden from speaking their Native languages.
The History: Starting in the 19th century, these government-run schools forced children to abandon their Native culture in favor of white practices. As a result, children were forced to cut their hair, wear uniforms, and march in formations. Rules were extremely strict and discipline was often harsh when rules were broken.
Today: The boarding schools have gone, but punishment of children on the basis of culture persists. For example, in 2012, seventh-grader Miranda Washinawatok was suspended for speaking Menominee to her teacher. Additionally, the percentage of Native American dropouts is twice that of the national average, and given that the education system does next to nothing to encourage Native academic success, it’s not hard to see why.
2) Over 100 years after Sitting Bull was killed at Standing Rock, the Lakota people are still fighting to protect that land from European expansion.
The History: American soldiers cleared the area the next day, killing over 200 Lakota tribe members. The massacre was followed by a three-day blizzard, after which soldiers recovered frozen bodies and buried them in a mass grave.
Today: 126 years later, Standing Rock once again became a site of resistance, as Native Americans from across the country occupied the space to advocate against construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL), which posed environmental and health threats to the Lakota people and their land. In the summer of 2017, a judge ruled that environmental tests had not been sufficiently conducted on the pipeline, but didn’t shut down the pipeline’s construction. The fight over DAPL continues today.
3) For nearly 50 years, activists have fought to change the name of the NFL’s Washington Redsk*ns, a dictionary-defined slur towards Native peoples.
The History: The term “redsk*n” originates from the practice of paying bounty hunters to kill Native Americans, which required the hunters bring back the scalp of the dead as proof. After seven years of fighting, Suzan Harjo and six other Native activists successfully petitioned to have the team’s six trademarks overturned in 1999, only for the decision to be reversed in court following the Redsk*ns’ appeal.
Today: In 2013, Redsk*ns owner Dan Snyder refused to respond to backlash, saying that the name would never change. While activist Amanda Blackhorse had been successful in striking down the trademarks, progress came to a halt this June when the Supreme Court ruled that the law against offensive names restricted the right to free speech.The issue goes beyond the Redsk*ns – over 2,000 American sports teams still have Native American mascots.
This Thanksgiving, let’s recommit to shining a light on missing Native American history. Want to sign up to take action? Visit the campaign page HERE.
Prompt: Write about someone who went missing in history.
Honestly. This how you know you getting old.
Give me the cozy bois.
Gas and grocery cards as well
A whole fucking Bed/Bathroom/Dinet set
week 23 aka the week i really really really really needed coffee u_u
Reblog and see what color you get
Yellow: You are such a sunshiney person and my dash is always brightened whenever you post
Maroon: I wish you followed me
Teal: You make me happy ♥
Auburn: I love you
Burnt Sienna: I love you but it's a different color
Navy: We should talk more
Magenta: You are my favorite tumblr user
Fuchsia: Come catch these hands...with your own. I wanna hold your hand.
Dodie Yellow: You are literally my favorite person ever.
Cerulean: I would come to your house at 3 in the morning if you were sad bc you deserve to be loved and to be happy
Baby Pink: u so attractive??? how u do dat??
Barbie Pink: You are the best at everything i don't get how
Crimson: I wanna cuddle with you
Emerald: You are my inspiration.
Gold: I can't believe you exist. You're such a blessing to this earth
Silver: I can't believe we're mutuals
Aquamarine: You are goals
White: Your icon is goals
Black: Marry Me
Beige: Idk what to say except W O W
luke skywalker made SURE that his astral projection wore the sleekest black number (thread count: 900), even brushed off dirt that didn’t hit him just for the drama of it all. there’s only one bad bitch and there he is in custom gucci boots!
This is just so adorable! So cute!
It’s around that time of year when kids start getting letters of being waitlisted, rejection and deferment. Just wanted to say hang in there– not everyone’s collegiate path is a strict linear progression. Taking gap years, transferring, going to your ‘B’or ‘C’ school, etc– they’re all completely valid ways to self-discovery and getting to where you want to be. From my own experience, things have a way of working out in the weirdest ways. Just keep your head up & mind open and don’t give up.
A college education is a college education, no matter where you get it!