“ oh... is it a cop out if i name my friends? lana, dom, and i guess i’ll throw gunner in there even if he disappeared on me. it’d be weird of me to name rosa and ky, though, maybe it’s a coincidence neither of them really want to talk to me.. ”
“Can we be arrested for nudity in our own dormitory building? Like, you’d think that would be a loophole,” he said with a shrug, turning rather abruptly to stick his key in the lock behind him. “This feels like the beginning of a sitcom. If this were a movie, I’d be played by Pete Davidson, maybe? Who would be your actor?” Eli continued to ramble on, pushing the door open and allowing the other to enter before him to get out of the exposed area.
“ based on the way my luck is currently going, i’m not sure i’m willing to test it out. you let me know though and get back to me. ” silas can’t help but laugh, finding it easier now to make light of the situation now that he’s offered from relief from the embarrassment. “ i mean, i don’t think i’m funny enough for any comedian to play me. unless the audience is getting comic relief through secondhand embarrassment. ” he has to pause a moment to really think about it, and even then he comes up with nothing. silas shrugs. “ nope. nothing. maybe something will come to mind once i have a pair of shorts on. ” he raises a brow, clearly dropping hints that the breeze he’s feeling isn’t settling well with him.
kymani did all but jump when he heard silas’ voice, not expecting it in the slightest. while they were what he considered to be friends, maybe best friends? best friends that used to kiss each other and now don’t really seem to ever be alone together? not in a meaningful way anymore at least. they didn’t see each other nearly as much as friends should and that was to kymani’s dismay. “oh, uh, yeah, i’m fine, it’s fine.” he immediately assured, though at the current moment he wasn’t sure anything was fine. his event was going to be a fail, no one would ever trust him to host anything and his life would be ruined. this would be the worst year of his university life and he hadn’t even been cheated on this time, what a cruel world. he wanted to share these thoughts, these worries with his friend so bad, wanted to just fall into his arms. he doesn’t. “i’ve been pretty vocal on social media about this event i’m hosting,” he reaches out his hand to offer a poster to his ex friend, pal, buddy. it was completely the kind of thing ky wanted him around, other artists, filling each other’s cups. he could think of many events just like this one they had gone to, sitting together so close. ky had always thought that silas deserved to be up on stage with all the people they’d admire but would gladly settle for them sitting together, watching together. “but i thought, hit the pavement, show my face around, hopefully get some interest. no one seems to care about young poets though.” a fact he’d known well from his own writing. he knew his face was probably in a pout now, thinking about the others’ crushed spirits. he could remember countless times he had told silas he was feeling the same way, defeated, let down by the cold, harsh world. he could remember times he had just held the other and cried. now though, he straightened himself out. “i won’t say no to help though! with a face like yours maybe someone will come?” it was sweet of him to offer, though kymani knew this kind of thing was so far left with what silas was usually comfortable with. maybe that’s what he was missing though, the handsome, quiet approach. “maybe you could sit on a bench with a sexy brood and hand some out to whoever approaches you?” he thought he knew his friend’s strengths well, and his face was one of them, no denying it.
when it came to these types of things, silas was no expert. still, it didn’t take that to notice ky was clearly stressed and discouraged, something silas could easily see from the dejected look on his face a few moments ago when another person had turned down his invitation to join his poetry night. silas silently surveys the flyer again, nodding thoughtfully. he’s no poet –- in fact, the idea is so ironic it almost makes him smile. “ i’m sure people care. maybe they just didn’t know until now. there has to be some people left without plans.. or people who are looking for something to do. ” that sounds reassuring, right? he clears his throat again. “ and, well... i’ll come. i can’t say i’ll be contributing much, but... ” but it’s another body to fill the space. silas had been to his fair share of fundraisers and events, especially ones that ky had his hand in, so it wasn’t completely unfamiliar territory now. he feels a blush creep up to his cheeks and he ducks his head, bashful. “ oh, i don’t know about that. but there’s strength in numbers. ” maybe it would be less upsetting if ky had someone there for moral support at the very least. silas laughs, cheeks deepening to a reddish hue. he wasn’t good at approaching people, or even having people approach him, and insinuating his looks would have something to do with drawing people in definitely embarrassed him a little, even as a form of flattery. “ i’m not sure if i’ve done the sexy brood thing.. at least not knowingly. ” he broods far more than he realizes, honestly, and even if silas isn’t sure his people skills will help, he doesn’t like to see ky look defeated. of course he has to try. “ but i can help hand out flyers. just tell me what to say. ”
Something about the way he phrases it is just downright irritating. She’s not asking for much, is she? It’s not like he isn’t in the same dorm as them, or anything, so it shouldn’t be too much of a big deal. And yet somehow he’s still making it sound like it is. “Right.” She says, though, her tone clearly bothered. “So you’re just going to stand here in the hallway half naked waiting for your roommate to show up and you can’t babysit a few papers? And who doesn’t bring clothes with them to the bathroom? That’s just poor planning.” Maybe she should try to sound less judgmental, especially because she’s asking him for something. “… I guess if you need to text someone you could borrow my phone?” Of course, with the added bonus being that she won’t have to stick around long, and he can take care of her notes. But she’s not going to say that out loud, of course.
silas isn’t sure what he’s doing to bother her, but clearly she’s displeased with his response. he supposes that perhaps she thinks she’s entitled to his help, while offering none to him in return. the idea of that irks him, and he quirks a brow in disbelief. if he was in any position to argue he might point out that not checking if her classmate was home before showing up was also poor planning, but considering he’s half naked, he doesn’t really have it in him. “ okay? if you want to leave your papers here, i’ll make sure nobody... steals them? ” he’s not sure what she thinks anyone is going to do with class notes, surely nobody is interested in taking them. and half the people he’s met can barely keep their dorms clean, forget picking up stray papers in the hallway. honestly, he just wants her to leave at this point. “ it’s alright. my roommates will be home soon. ” he lies, hoping that’ll be enough for her to turn around and be on her way.
kymani had been bothering people for the last hour. well, bothering was harsh, but probably correct. he had promised the owner of a local cafe he’d bring some people to a poetry slam, an honorable thought, no doubt, people weren’t really responding as nicely as he had hoped though. what, were they too good to listen to young adults complain about the world? what could be a better way to spend a saturday night? he mustered what felt like the last bit of positivity he had as he approached yet another innocent student just trying to walk on campus. “you look like you know about a good time! what are you doing tonight?” he asked, in all fairness, probably getting a little too close to the other student before they slipped away from him. damn, another one bites the dust. @radopens
with no big plans for the evening, silas was on his way to order some takeout and curl up with a movie for the night. he’d had a few offers for some events, just parties, but he wasn’t feeling anything too high energy. the week had drained him, and the little sleep he’d gotten last night meant that he wasn’t really in the mood to rage until the sun came up. it’s only when he sees ky that silas pauses, unable to help watching curiously and cringing internally when he sees someone walk off mid-conversation. it makes him nervous, honestly, to approach ky. in fact, he’s not sure ky wants to talk to him at all –- he wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. but something about the desperation in his voice makes silas feel a little bad, and he cares, so how can he walk by like he doesn’t? he clears his throat as he gets closer, hoping to make his presence known. “ everything okay? ” he looks at the flyer ky’s holding and it makes more sense. he tries to offer to help invite people, but both of them know silas is hands down incapable of approaching people like that. it’s more more ky’s speed. still, he thinks it’s the polite thing to do. “ are people not showing up? do you.. need help? ”
Here’s the gist of it all - Disha doesn’t even want to be here, and if her classmate had actually been taking their own notes, she wouldn’t have to be, but she’s too nice (at least that’s what she’s telling herself) so she offered to make a copy of hers. Really, it’s just that she needs them to actually put in at least a little work on their project. She knocks on the door once, no answer, and then again. No answer. So much for being nice. She swears, it’s the last time she’s ever going to do this for. For them, or anyone else. And just as she’s turning to leave, she sees Silas. In nothing but a towel - honestly, she isn’t sure whether it’s polite or rude to look away but she does anyway, because… Just.. Who doesn’t bring clothes with them to the bathroom?
“They’re not home.” She says, gesturing at the door that he looks like he’s about to knock on. “I’m supposed to be dropping off notes, that I spent half an hour copying, but.. If I give them to you you could give them to.. The person who lives here?” It’s desperate, and Disha still feels awkward, there’s nothing she can really do for him, it’s not like she’s about to give him the sweater off her back, or something. “When they come back. I assume you’ll be here for awhile?”
his nose wrinkles in disappointment, mind already trying to figure out yet another plan to get himself in a semi-decent state in order to get back into his room. he’s already lost in his thoughts, clearly busy working out some other solution, only to have whatever he’s considering interrupted by her next words. he frowns, semi-confused and semi-annoyed. “ um, i’m a bit busy, actually. ” it’s a bit of a strange request considering his hands are occupied guarding the towel that keeps him from completely exposing himself to any passerby. helping her get notes to a classmate isn’t really on the top of his list of priorities at the moment. “ i have some other issues to troubleshoot so.. no, sorry, not free to do any deliveries. ”
“How do I help you here?” Elias asked the other, the harshness in his voice not entirely necessary, but he was in a bad mood. He usually tried not to be so unkind to people he considered friends and it was an unfair amount of aggression. Eli reeled it in almost immediately, taking in the sorry sight with a delicate laugh. “Damn, rough day, huh?” he questioned, brows raised as he gestured behind him. “You can come into mine if you want. Borrow some shorts or something. Can’t promise I have the best options, though. Could steal some of Jude’s if that suits you better.”
silas blinks, quiet as he processes whatever sour mood elias seems to be in. it doesn’t last long anyway –- clearly the sight of silas suffering in a towel in the middle of the hallway is enough to temporarily wash it away. perhaps that’s the only silver lining to this situation. “ yeah, something like that. ” he grumbles, letting out an exasperated sigh. “ at this point i’ll take anything. i’m not going down to the main floor in a towel. ” he wasn’t a prude by any means, but he had a relatively typical threshold for embarrassment. this definitely qualified. he lets himself in with elias’ offer, glad to have some sort of cover from the exposure of the hallway. “ lord knows someone will yank it on my way down and i’ll arrested for public indecency. ”
Gunner was no good at good-byes. He’d pulled a French exit when leaving to New York for the Summer, only giving so much as an Instagram story of the pavement with New York City as his tagged location as a heads up. But if anything, he was even worse with reuniting, merely showing up in Lovell and making himself comfortable in the backyard of a party without mentioning to anyone that he’d made it back, “Oh, hey,” he called out automatically from where he was lounging on the patio railing, “I’m predicting my future with a pendulum. Extremely spiritual stuff. It said I’m going to die in a month - predictions? I assumed something exciting. Maybe a shark attack,” They were nowhere near any sharks, “You wanna ask it something? I think you’re only supposed to get three questions, so you gotta make ‘em good.” @radopens
though he’s not one to usually keep tabs on people, gunner’s absence had been pretty obvious to him. with no real word about where or what he was doing for the summer, silas had come to the conclusion that if gunner wanted him to know he would’ve told him. so he never asked, even if he wondered.. and quite honestly, even thought he’d missed him. now, though, it seems gunner has reappeared out of thin air, manifesting like some figment of silas’ imagination as he stumbles his way out onto a patio. he blinks twice to try and swipe the drunken haze from his vision, but it does nothing, because clearly gunner is there, even though he’s talking about something as if he’d never gone at all. “ shark attack? well, don’t go swimming. ” silas answers instinctively. “ ask it if my friends are ever gonna tell me where they disappear to. ” it’s teasing –- silas isn’t one for holding a grudge, but he is glad to see that gunner is back. “ glad to see you’ve returned to radcliffe in one piece.”
“my sister texted me for the first time in, like, two and a half months yesterday just to tell me that she hated my shirt in my latest instagram post. and like… first of all, it’s a bodysuit, and second, she’s practically a mommy blogger now. and i can’t think of anything worse, so don’t come for my content when i had to read about your kid’s baby food regimen yesterday.” she shrugged, studying her cuticles, “people over the age of, like, twenty-eight are boring anyway. so, i win.”
he’s quiet for a moment, processing what she’s just told him. honestly, it’s hard to put together. she seems unbothered with the way she shrugs, the dismissive look at she refocuses on her nails... but it doesn’t sound okay. “ i’m not sure what a bodysuit is, but i’m sure it didn’t deserve that. ” he’s not an avid instagrammer, but he’s seen the accounts she’s talking about. he’s not keen to voice it, but honestly the family blogger thing is a little cringeworthy to him too. “ why did she text you just to tell you that? ”
there’s a party late tuesday night - so late that it’s no longer tuesday, and in fact wednesday, now, because - of course there is, lovell never sleeps; never truly, at least. maybe that’s part of the allure - haunts and late nights, sleepless in hopes of spotting mothman in the woods’ tall trees. it feels like the moon’s hanging lower than it should be - just above them, big and yellow and clearly visible outside the bathroom window. a bit ominous, maybe - but she always held disbelief when it came to omens. didn’t do her too much luck, that - maybe she’d be better off if she had believed, even a smidgen. there’s not much to believe in, lately - she thinks, unsteady hands, trembling hands, lightly tip-tapping a line onto the screen of her phone, dangerously close to the sink’s ledge. the door creaks. it’s a loud sound, above the muffled music - mac demarco, or something - it was that sort of party - it’s loud enough, sudden enough, that saige jumps; noticeable shriek, only a moment long, hand smacking into the corner of her phone, sending it flying - sending coke flying - her pupils are the size of saucers, “oh - wow - christ - it’s like, airborne. like - like, asbestos, or something, right?” she looks at the culprit - smile on her lips, now - like she hadn’t been startled at all. it’s wide and inviting, though her hands haven’t stopped shaking. “sorry that’s like - a lame joke, or something, right? totally insensitive. asbestos … serious. serious shit. uh - anyways! i would - do you have to piss? god - sorry, i’m like - totally abusing my bathroom privileges. trying to - make use of time, i think.” she wipes her hands on her shorts - holds one out, as if for a handshake, but quickly drops it - swipes her thumb beneath her nose, instead; it hadn’t been her first line, evidently. “sorry - again, i just like - spent like, twenty minutes talking to this business student dude who like - always wears suits. shook my hand for like, ten minutes. think he’s like starting a mosh pit. seriously, though - do you, like - have to piss? i can - i can get out, or like - do you - do you want some?” it’s easy to know what she’s referring to, “i have more - i just, uh - have to like, set it back up.” her phone is still lost, somewhere, to the bathroom floor; the bathroom mat’s a shitty shag rug, and there’s the remnants of someone’s clothes littering the base of the toilet.
he’s never been completely opposed to parties –- been to his fair share of them, though a tuesday get together isn’t usually his type of thing. still, when he’d been asked – or nearly begged – to come as company and a buffer, he didn’t say no. his loyalty was quiet, albeit strong, and though he rarely verbalized his feelings, his actions spoke enough. enough for him to be drinking so late that wednesday’s rolled around, but he’s thankful the semester hasn’t picked up into complete hell yet. there’s still enough freedom for them to wake up with headaches and not completely waste their tuition money, and he figures.. what’s college without a midweek hangover? or, at least, this is how he convinces himself to go, to be a friend, to fill his cup with more beer, to stop looking at the clock which he quit doing an hour ago. it’s not like he’d be sleeping in his room if he were back there, anyway. he dips out from the crowd that he’s in to find a bathroom –- all the alcohol in his system is getting to him, and the first one he finds has quite the line. he leaves in hopes to find another, more secluded option that people were too lazy to seek out. he’s glad to see nobody’s there, and after a quick knock he turns the knob to see it’s unlocked and decides, well, might as well let himself in.
probably not the best idea.
he hears a shriek and immediately he goes to cover his eyes, but from the brief glimpse he got, the girl occupying the bathroom is using it for something entirely different. he opens his eyes and blinks, unable to keep from looking at the white residue that’s mostly gone, though he can see a few specks of powder clinging stubbornly to her phone screen. she’s coked out if her eyes are anything to go by, and especially when she starts talking. it seems like it’s never going to end, and silas, as drunk as he is, can’t help but tune some of it out. he feels bad for it, but it’s too hard to follow given his current state. “ yeah, i do. ” is all he can manage, clearing his throat. “ are you alright? you’re kind of.. ” tweaking, but he feels that’s a little rude. his concern is genuine, and he hands the beer in his hand over to her. “ maybe you just need to even out your levels. ”
open to: moris residents ( or if you can think of a reason why your muse would be around ! )
it’s not the first time this has happened, but definitely the first time silas has been in this condition. luckily with his own bathroom and shower, he’s never had to worry about it –- but the hot water in his shower stopped had stopped working yesterday, and finally silas found himself required to enter the communal showers until they could fix it. one thing he wasn’t used to was taking his keys with him to shower, and by the time he’d returned to his door from the floor below with a towel around his waist, he realizes he’s left his keys inside. none of his suitemates are home, he knows that, and he’s not quite sure when any of them plan to return. a blush creeps up his shoulders and neck, all the way up to his cheeks when he realizes he’s locked out and in quite an indecent state. his choices are clear: go down to the main floor like this to get let in or send someone down on his behalf. with a grimace, he finds himself knocking on another door with his features already contrite. “ hey, uh –- i know this looks weird, but i forgot my keys in my room and uh, i’m locked out. ” not a great explanation considering there weren’t any showers on his floor. @radopens
“Moldy sandwich? What the fuck are you talking about?” he questioned, a brow quirking with a slow and mildly condescending grin forming on his face. “Yeah, man, you got me, I’m sitting on a stoop at eleven o’clock at night begging for people to write an essay for me… the first week of school.” Chase scoffed and shook his head. “Good god man, that’s tame, I’ve been asked to do worse for less. You look kinda… old. Ish. Not like elderly, I won’t be calling the AARP on you or whatever but old enough that it looks like we wouldn’t be friends and that you can buy alcohol, which are just the qualities in a human I’m looking for tonight. Won’t you help a poor oppressed sophomore who got kicked out of a bar for nothing other than having the wrong name on his license?”
he’s not going to press the information that he used to eat moldy sandwiches for a fine income. it was pretty lucrative if you asked him –- certainly paid for his weed when he wasn’t working. make a quick fifty bucks in the back of the cafeteria that way. “ well, there’s not really any redeeming reason to be hiding in the shadows waiting for an oldish person to walk by. ” silas quirks a brow, but there’s no malice in his tone. how was he in the hot seat for his confusion and sandwich eating when chase was stalking people in the night? it almost makes him laugh. “ what, you want me to buy you alcohol? ” silas blinks. all the roundabout for what? silas wasn’t sure the legal drinking age made any sense to begin with, and he wasn’t opposed to buying for someone. “ i’m about to get myself some beer, so what do you want? cash upfront, though. no premium, because i’m nice, but i don’t take payment in favors. ” the struggles of acquiring booze before the age of twenty-one were part thrilling part a nuisance, and it wasn’t going to be much added effort on his part. “ and only if you promise you won’t get behind a wheel or do anything stupid like that. ”
The annoying thing about the town of Lovell was most, if not all, of the liquor stores figured out his face rather quickly during Chase’s freshman year. More often than not, he kept seeing his mugshot posted around places, a DO NOT SERVE list with his face, a sharpie’d mustache, and, one occasion, a dart on his left cheek. Liquor stores, dive bars, most of the dorms, the local Applebee’s - it never ended! Chase was reliant on these assholes forgetting his face over summer break. He had the entire town of Harrison, New York to bother, and bother he did. He had successfully acquired a fake ID that was taken away the first day he got back to Radcliffe after going in a bar where he didn’t recognize the bouncer, who clearly recognized him - he was escorted down a block and a half away from the bar by the back of his t-shirt like a punished kitten. Since plastic surgery wasn’t an option, he had to resort to begging like a dog, waiting for people to pass him by to ask for favors like a stupid appliances salesman from the fifties. Sitting on the stoop of a corner store, with blue neon flickering into the night, the glow piercing through the smoke filtering up from his vape, he spotted someone walking, illuminated by the orange street lights that ran through the streets of the college town, squinting to see if he could make out who it was, waiting for them to cross his path. “Wanna make twenty bucks?” he asked, before shaking his head when he realized the connotations. “I don’t want to have sex with you, to clarify. Probably. We’ll see how the night goes.” *// @radopens
it wasn’t meant to be a big haul by any means, but a new school year meant even silas had the right mind to stock up a bit. being a senior had its perks –- most of the freshmen were the victims of excessive snooping, which meant silas didn’t have too much trouble keeping a casual stash for an evening beer or something of the sort. he drank, most definitely, but he saved the worst of it for the weekends, and had learned to stop mixing like absolute hell after his sophomore year. he’s just headed across the near-empty street to get himself a six pack when someone crosses his path, and silas blinks in surprise. his first instinct is to move away, but when chase speaks, the situation settles on him. “ twenty bucks? ” silas quirks a brow, laughing at the follow up because that definitely wasn’t on his mind. “ uh, i stopped taking bets to eat moldy sandwiches after my last bout of food poisoning. and if you’re looking for someone to write an essay, you’ve got the wrong guy. ” it doesn’t dawn on him immediately that he’d be needed to buy booze, so instead silas eyes chase warily, confused as to why anyone would need his help –- and even risk wasting twenty dollars in the process.
「zayn malik & cis male」⇾ reed , silas, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a capricorn and 22 years old. he is studying music education, living in moris and can be talented, calm, cynical & indecisive. when i see him i am reminded of the subtle tremor of a hand, purple circles etched under tired eyes, wrinkled t-shirts. ⇽「moon & 24 & est & they/them.」
hey it’s me moon and this is my second bb (no self control team woo!). silas is one of my oldest bbs and i love him dearly so plEASE plot with me.
TW: car accident, death, alcohol use (underage drinking), drugs.
FULL NAME: silas reed
NICKNAME(S): si, sometimes.
AGE: twenty-two.
BIRTHDAY: january 26th.
GENDER: cis male.
PRONOUNS: he/him.
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual.
MAJOR: music education.
HEIGHT: 5′11".
MORAL ALIGNMENT: neutral good.
MBTI: INTP
HOGWARTS HOUSE: ravenclaw.
TRAITS: calm, kind, directionless, closed off, soft spoken, loyal, talented, quick study, melancholic.
background.
silas grew up in a relatively average home – his dad is the more stoic one, more similar to silas, and his mom is much more easygoing and eccentric. his father was often the one who pressured him to practice and master his craft, and at times this drove a wedge between them.
he showed a talent for the piano very early in life and his parents jumped on it. quite honestly, silas loved it, and as much as he bitched and moaned about practicing when he hit the age for it, he was good. and being good felt good. music was his escape, no matter what form it came in.
ironically a punk rock type kid despite studying classical music for a great chunk of his time. get you a man that can do both. because of this, he tended to neglect his studies for music. between the hours and hours he spent practicing the piano, he also formed a little punk band with his friends. allie, his best friend at the time and, well, the manic pixie dream girl type, always had silas on the tips of his toes. he was smitten, honestly, but looking back he can’t ever focus on that now.
he was meant to study to move to a professional level and even gained admittance to a prestigious program; however, this was derailed after he suffered injuries in an accident.
car accident / underage drinking tw: in high school, silas got into a car accident with allie after one of their gigs at a very local small place. she’d been drinking and silas knew it, but he let her drive anyway figuring she knew best. she passed away in the accident, and silas found himself stuck under the debris of the accident. he suffered multiple injuries, but most notably he severely damaged his left hand and wrist. read more about this here! triggers are the same as this intro!
though he has most of the function back after a few surgeries, he couldn’t play the same anymore. most definitely he couldn’t compete with the likes of julliard, not with a more limited range of motion and a complete set back in terms of practice as he recovered and learned to get his hand function back to normal.
in the accident he lost his both his best friend and his own future in a lot of ways. it no longer looked anything like he’d spent so long picturing and planning. his parents ended up divorcing as his father wasn’t entirely the best person to lean on in a time of need, and his mom quickly remarried.
he’s alive unlike allie, and he feels he should be doing better than he is. he switched to apply to radcliffe to study music education. since music is all he knew, it was the only thing that made any sense with any actual prospects after college. still, teaching is definitely not his passion, and he feels very aimless in what he’s doing.
even now as he’s in his last year of his degree, silas can’t help but wonder what he wants to do. he feels frozen in time, at least emotionally, and all he’s hoping for is something to strike one day. something to feel right, so he feels a sense of purpose again.
personality.
your eternal bachelor, silas spends most of his mornings sniffing his clothes to determine their cleanliness, throwing on a wrinkled shirt and grabbing a bagel as he runs out the door. although he’s in college now, silas finds himself lost at times, living through the days as though he should be doing something else.
once his career as a pianist fell through, he hadn’t pictured anything else in his future. he’s still trying to pick up the pieces. his future had been so set ahead of him for years, and even though he’s nearly done his degree, he feels like he’s spent every year since his accident trying to figure out what his new path is. it’s not easy by any means – music is his identity, and when he can’t do it at a professional level, it doesn’t make finding something new to cling to a simple equation.
even so, he’s soft-natured, quiet and introverted. he’s not particularly shy, just prefers to listen and identifies as a bit of a loner. he prefers the company of just a few, but the friendships he does make are long-lasting.
although he’s clueless most of the time, he’s incredibly knowledgeable about his passions. emotions are something foreign to silas – he’s never been good at processing his own or helping others process theirs, but as a loyal friend, he never stops trying. he’ll pat you awkwardly when you cry but he’s never judging and he’s always listening –- just wishing he knew how to help you better.
genuinely just like a soft quiet dude. sometimes appears like he’s a dick bc of his appearance but honestly he’s in la la land most of the time just trying to get through the day.
as much as he is a loner he wants human connection? but people tend to bail out or get disinterested or aren’t interested in working with him to get him to open up. he wants to talk about it sometimes, but he doesn’t even know where to start to find the words, so he sorta gives up and listens instead.
big insomniac. all of those issues waiting to bubble up keep him up at night. if he can’t speak them, they manifest in a lot of thoughts and keep him awake quite often. he’s often late because he ends up oversleeping once he finally manages to pass out –- always showing up ten minutes after class has started, always trying to caffeinate to keep up, always looking disheveled.
very food motivated. he can’t cook at all but loves to eat. literally not that grossed out by anything. he wins a lot of money bc you can ask him to eat a moldy sandwich for $50 and he’ll do it. he made a lot of money in high school tbh. genuinely just wants to eat taco bell and chill. also a big stoner, so munchies galore.
also? still literally a musical genius tbh. to an untrained ear, he sounds like an actual professional (he? is..) but for very advanced classical musicians, they can definitely hear where he lags, and most regular people would not be able to really hear the difference in his playing. a highly trained professional though can pick it out, which is why he can still play extremely well and pursue music, just not at that level.
wanted connections.
best friend / ride or die –– i really want silas to have like.. a true ride or die tbh. allie was his best friend n like.. not to replace that but maybe he met someone in his first or second year at radcliffe and they just? absolutely clicked? he really needs someone who will encourage him to branch out, remind him to say what he’s thinking, to get some sleep, u know? we can figure out just how much he’s opened up, but chances are definitely a lot more to them than anyone else.
hook-ups –– ok so silas is notoriously terrible in the love department. like don’t get me wrong, he’s not even anti-commitment, he’s just 2 plain stupid to make moves and can’t navigate feelings. so A TON of what he does is hookups. generally drunk ones at parties where they’ll just .. somehow land in bed together and no weird convos to get to that point needed.
ex-fling –– maybe someone who liked silas but he just? was too stupid to even notice? or maybe they had a little thing but it fizzled out because he never really.. moved things forward? they can have ended on friendly terms or maybe they were like ‘grow up dude’ who knows. i’m not opposed to an official ex either, if it makes sense!
crush –– bby silas DOES luv even if he doesn’t recognize it. he’s just like ah what is this feeling in my chest i am nervous ?? this would probably be someone he’s friends with because he needs to feel comfortable with them to develop some feelings.
enemies –– who doesn’t love some drama? silas is pretty calm so he doesn’t really stir up drama but we can definitely think of smthn bc he’s a pretty lousy group partner, not a very good dater, or there’s rooms for just assumptions and miscommunications galore.
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