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Lose Yourself || Christian & Nikolaus

silent-christian

If Nikolaus hadn’t been so flushed from dancing, he probably would have been blushing from the clapping at the end of his performance. He wasn’t used to people seeing him like this, but he didn’t mind it so much if he was going to be applauded like this. A smile came over his lips as he did a shallow bow to the other boy in response, happy that he liked what he had seen, standing up again just as Christian got to his feet and came over. Tilting his head a bit, Nikolaus watched as the other boy retrieved the notebook from his pocket and wrote something down, handing it over. Nik looked over the words, reading them a few times, biting his bottom lip. It was obvious to him what was going on, why the other boy handed him this notebook, and he smiled softly, looking up and handing it back. Who was he to act as if anything was wrong with the fact that Christian couldn’t, or possibly wouldn’t, speak? “Thank you. I’ve had a lot of practice.” He replied softly, acting as if nothing was strange about the fact that Christian lacked the ability to speak, even though a million questions were running through his head. He tried to keep the curiosity from showing in his eyes, unsure if the other was sensitive about it or not.

Nikolaus took the notebook without question, but Christian could see the confusion on his face at first as he looked down at what he'd written, then the realization flooded his features and as quickly as it came, it was gone. Replaced with a smile as Nikolaus handed the book back to him, thanking him for the compliment on his dancing. Christian tapped the end of his pen against the coils of the notebook, unable to keep the smile from crossing his features as he realized that Nikolaus was acting as if he didn't see anything out of the ordinary, and Christian's lack of voice and use of the notebook was something he was completely used to. It made him happy in a way that he couldn't remember being before, to be accepted so easily by this boy whom he'd only just met the day before. Looking back down at his notebook, Christian gave it some thought before writing back his response, grateful for Nikolaus's lack of reaction but understanding of the situation at hand. 'You must have a few questions. I wouldn't mind answering them. Thank you for being kind to me.' He handed the notebook back and regarded Nikolaus with an open expression, silently inviting him to ask whatever he pleased.

#lose yourself

nikolaus-cooper-deactivated2012

Lose Yourself || Christian & Nikolaus

silent-christian

Dancing was really Nik’s only escape from the world, and one that he very much welcomed. Dancing was better than people in his opinion, better than school, better than anything he could think of. As he moved across the floor, the only thing he heard was the beat of the music, not even the words really processed through his mind. It felt like every beat of his heart synced perfectly with the rhythm around him, engulfing him. He didn’t notice when the door was opened, or that another person had joined him. He didn’t stop for a second until the song came to an end, fading away as he finally slowed. Nikolaus fought to catch his breath, his black hair, face, and torso dappled with his sweat. He reached up, passing his forearm over his forehead to wipe away some sweat, blue eyes flashing to the mirror and catching sight of the other boy sat against the wall. His heart leaped for a second and he turned on his heel, smiling softly. “Hey, didn’t even notice you had come in.” Nikolaus ran his fingers back through his dark hair, messing it up some, before placing his hands on his hips. He was a little nervous about having someone around when he was dancing on his own, because it was very intimate to him, but he didn’t much mind Christian being around.

Nikolaus somehow managed to keep moving for every last second that the song continued, and only stopped when the music did. His chest heaved with every heavy pant of air that he took in, his dark hair matted to his forehead with sweat. He'd obviously put every last ounce of himself into that dance, and as he reached an arm up to swipe the sweat from his brow, Christian began to clap. Both to let him know that he was there and to let him know that he'd loved watching him dance. Startled, Nikolaus jumped slightly and spun around to face him, giving a soft smile when he was Christian. The silent boy shrugged it off when he admitted that he hadn't noticed him come in, and got to his feet, walking over and closing the space between the two of them. As he came to a stop in front of Nikolaus, he reached into his pocket and took out his notebook, flipping it open to a fresh page and writing 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. You dance beautifully.' before handing it to Nikolaus for him to read, his expression blank. He knew that this was the point where Nikolaus would either realize what the notebook was for or ask for an explanation, but when he found out the truth about Christian it would make or break things between them.

#lose yourself

nikolaus-cooper-deactivated2012

Lose Yourself || Christian & Nikolaus

It was finally after class, the other students making their way to their own dorms or to hang out with friends. Nikolaus, on the other hand, stayed behind until he was the only one left. He did this on most everyday, because it was his only time that he could escape from the rest of the world. Walking over to the door of the studio, he touched it lightly and pushed it to, not closing it all the way today because there was a chance he wouldn’t be completely alone that afternoon. Smiling softly, he stepped back from the door and looked around the empty studio, blue eyes coming to rest on the full wall of mirrors that reflected him back. Walking to the corner of the room, he put on one of his favorite songs to dance to, Rhythm is a Dancer by SNAP! He reached down and pulled his shirt off, throwing it with his other stuff as he walked to the center of the studio, closing his eyes. As the music began to play, he rolled his shoulders back. He let himself go, beginning to dance with ease across the floor, spins and moves flowing together like a cascade of movement, so natural to him in so many ways.

silent-christian

Christian found himself actually putting down his pen and closing his binder of school work when he heard the final bell, for once. Since classrooms were left unlocked for an hour after regular classes for study time, he usually opted for finishing the work he'd been assigned during the day so that he could hole himself up in the studio and paint all evening, but today was different. He had plans to watch Nikolaus dance and he found himself quite interested in seeing it, after hearing the other boy's description of how he got lost into his own world when in motion. Slipping his binder into his bookbag, he got to his feet and headed outside, in the direction of the west building, where the dance studios could be found. Nikolaus hadn't told him which room he would be in, but he could hear the music echoing through the halls when he stepped into the building and it was easy enough to follow the sound to the right room. The door was open a crack and Christian hesitated a moment before pushing it open, silently entering and finding his eyes immediately drawn to the figure in the middle of the room. Nikolaus was already long lost in his movement and Christian doubted he would be able to snap him out of it even if he wanted to. A smile crossed his features as he watched the other boy dance. He carefully shut the door behind him and moved to sit against the wall next to it, content and completely entertained by Nikolaus's movements.

#lose yourself

Right, that’s probably a good idea. I will see you tomorrow, then. Have a good night.

['You, too.']

If I am disappointed, I will only blame myself. Don’t worry.

['Alright. I will see you, then. For now, I need to be getting to bed.']

You can say that, if you wish, but I prefer to decide for myself.

['If you end up disappointed, i'm not to blame.']

I look forward to meeting you in person.

['Don't get your hopes up. I'm not anything special.']

Sounds good to me. I will be in Studio B around 3, whenever you want to stop by.

['I'll see you then.']

I usually always spend some time alone in the studio after all of the classes are over for the day. So that I can dance how I like and not how I’m told.

['Tomorrow after class?']

…wow, um, well you are more than welcome to come and watch, if you really want to.

['I do. When do you practice?']

Not always, no.

['I would like to see you dance.']

No, no, you’re not boring me at all. I understand completely, in some weird way, it’s exactly the same as how I am with dancing. Locked in the studio, music turned up so that no other sounds can possibly get through, escaping this world for a completely new one that only exists to you in that moment. Then, when the music hits me, it’s almost like it’s pulsing through my veins, like I’m a living embodiment of that music and it moves me without me having to think about it. So, I understand, and it’s not boring at all. It’s beautiful.

['Do you always dance alone?']

Oh really? So you just sit down in front of a canvas and let it happen how it will? It sounds like a dance with a paintbrush. When I turn on the music, I just let it move me, no planning or thinking. It just happens.

['When I paint, it's more like leaving the world for a few hours and coming back to a work of art. I lock myself in one of the studios, turn my music up until it's so loud that I can feel the jukebox shaking the table it sits on and the floor around it, and I let it drown out the sounds of the world around me. I stand in front of the canvas, never sit, paint brush in hand, and when I feel the impulse I begin to paint. I let the brush and the paint do all of the talking. I'm sorry, I must be boring you.']

Reading is very good for the mind, some of the wisest things in the world were written down. Do you find any inspiration for your art through reading or is it mostly emotionally inspired?

['My art all comes from inspiration that I gather from things and people around me, as well as my own thoughts and emotions. I don't plan a painting before taking my brush to canvas. I allow the paintings to create themselves.']

You’ve got quite a way with words, Christian.

['For a while, all I did was read. A person tends to learn a thing or two about language through written works.']

Good, then it will show in whatever you create.

['There is no such thing as beauty without passion.']

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