Hello old friend.
One Nice Bug Per Day
RMH

@theartofmadeline
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Peter Solarz

if i look back, i am lost
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art blog(derogatory)
YOU ARE THE REASON

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@silentcelle
Hello old friend.
Not going to talk about future anymore.
Because I can't even be sure if there's a future.
No point even thinking about it.
why be unkind to people? there is so much power in kindness & sensitivity
“I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the body’s way of saying ‘I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time,’ you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies”
— Eric Shaw (via liebeficktunsalle)
I realise...I should probably live life the way I would, like a practice round for if I had my own apartment.
ZOMG is it only day 2 of #SGCircuitBreaker? – Button 📷 8 Apr 2020 . #bestmeow #meowdel #catlife #catsofinstagram #catsofsingapore #catsoftheworld #igmeows #nekostagram #猫 #ねこ #ネコ #ButtonTheCat #ButtonMeowmi #MutedCalico (at Woodgrove, Singapore) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-tw6EZniBF/?igshid=m7wh0v1o4jpw
I'm a ferocious hunter rawr~ – Button 📷 31 Mar 2020 . #bestmeow #meowdel #catlife #catsofinstagram #catsofsingapore #catsoftheworld #igmeows #nekostagram #猫 #ねこ #ネコ #ButtonTheCat #ButtonMeowmi #MutedCalico (at Woodlands, Singapore) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-a4MSsn1Sg/?igshid=dgsgli6hxqap
Now I feel a bit like a failure for not managing the stress well.
Maybe I really need to start a mindfulness journal
When thoughts of suicide have become so cliche that you can no longer tell them to anyone except for strangers online and people you don't care about.
Because you know you're not supposed to have them, but you have them anyway.
😳Virgin attempt at #longboarding 🛹 . 📷 @ezzatisaid (at Singapore) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7yjv6_HtVP/?igshid=qo2ncpwygmiy
“I am slowly learning that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. I deserve someone who is gentle and kind because my soul is getting tired. Realizing that I deserve something good is one of the first steps.”
— Unknown
push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
Recovery feels so slow, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever walk out of the shadows.
“Why is it that when the story ends we begin to feel all of it?” - Rupi Kaur, The Sun and Her Flowers
Be sad. It's okay to be sad.